


WrongSideOfTown - The Sweetest Perfection

by Useless_girl



Category: Depeche Mode
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Dark, Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Pregnancy, Rehabilitation, Romance, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sexual Fantasy, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 04:03:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 53
Words: 199,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Note: This fanfiction was written by a few member of the late DM forum, Wrong Side Of Town. Mauka and me (Useless-girl) wrote the biggest part with a little help of Orchidett and Capricornus at the beginning. The whole story is pure fiction, it’s not based on true events! It contains erotic and slash (M/M) scenes too so if someone is under the agelimit or don’t like slash, please think first before reading! We warned you! Enjoy! :D</p><p>April 2007</p><p> <br/>What would you do if you bumped into your favourite musicians and they asked for your help? Would you follow your heart no matter what the future might bring?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

  
Full size [HERE](http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs17/f/2007/205/9/a/The_Sweetest_Perfection_2_by_Useless_girl.jpg)

 

**The Sweetest Perfection**

1.

 

Without looking up from my book I was walking along the pier when my shoelace suddenly loosened so I hopped down onto a bench, where someone was already sitting with a map in his hands. I didn’t give a damn, I still had enough place. I ignored the man sitting next to me. I redid my lace to continue my way but the guy next to me started to speak.

“Excuse me, could you help me?” he asked in English, hoping that I’ll understand the question.

“Of course” I answered in English too and looked up from my shoe – then I needed to gulp a few big ones in my shock. The man was no one else than… ANDY FLETCHER! I blinked confused while I felt my cheeks burning.

“So could you help me?” he asked again, noticing that I didn’t react.

“Well, yeah, of course. What can I do for you? Are you looking for something? Let me introduce myself, although I’ve already did it in front of Four Seasons hotel when we met.”

“Really?” he asked and tried to remember “I’m sorry, but I can’t recall it.”

“No prob. I’m not surprised. I’m not excepting you to remember me from all of your fans. Well, then… what do you want to know?” I looked at him after I composed myself a bit.

“Can you tell me if there is a delicatessen shop nearby, where I can buy Godiva choc? Dave is crazy again, we need to sedate him – this’ll help so I need to get some from those!”

I tried to stop bursting into laughter and keep my face neutral while I answered “Of course. But you need a map for this?”

“It’s because I don’t know this city and there was no one who could come with me. Mart put the map into my hand and I had fun colouring some stuff on it, see?” he showed me the paper which was scrabbled on some parts “The museums are green, the churches are blue, the shops for the tourists are red – because this was the emergency case. I’d be really grateful if you could help me, maybe even bring me there. I’m sure – after calming down – Dave’d be really grateful for it too. He dies without his daily portion of choc and what he had with himself is already gone. Maybe there’ll be a change in the weather – wasn’t there anything about it on TV? Some storms coming or something like that?”

I looked at him a bit shocked then answered “Sure, I bring you there. By the way no, there wasn’t anything about storms. Isn’t that possible that Dave is just simply like this?”

“It’s possible – maybe it comes with age…” he shrugged smiling while he stood up and waited for me to do the same.

“Well I don’t know if Dave sticks to Godiva, because if he does, you need to call a cab – we need to go to a deposit in Soroksár, but it’ll take some time – can Dave handle it?”

“I’m sure, Martin is with him” he grinned wickedly.

I felt that my kinky fantasy started to work “He’s the outlet of his spare energies, or what?” I asked slyly winking while we were after a cab.

“It seems to me that he has just spare energies” he said sighing.

Uh-oh, Duracell-Dave!

\---

Meanwhile Mart and Dave…

“Stop it already, Dave! You drive me insane with this crawling” said the blonde Mr. Gore when he had enough of his friend’s annoying circles.

“Don’ tell me what to do! I’m fed up with you telling me what and how I should do things! I don’t need to remind you why I made that solo record, do I?”

Mart just gave him a ‘stupid-prick’ grimace. Dave started to drum with his fingers restlessly on the window, while he muffled something under his nose. That was the moment when it came into Mart’s head that Fletch should have come back by that time.

“Hey Dave! You let Fletch to crawl alone in this unfamiliar city? He should have been here already! We’ll be late… and because of you of course. Again.”

“Who cares?! I NEED my daily choc-dose! I can’t function without it and it’ll suck for the fans too! After all they pay for giving them a great show and I’m the showpiece there so shut up or call Fletch and ask him where the hell he is with my choc!” grimaced Dave looking back over his shoulder.

Without a word Mart called Andy’s phone then put the ringing cell into Dave’s hand “You speak with him – you are in great need!”

“Where are you, you…” he hissed into the cell when his unfortunate mate picked it up to face his choc-addicted frontman “Fletch, damn it, where the hell are you? It’s already 40 minutes ago since you’ve left. I can’t even entrust you bringing me some chocolate?”

But because Fletch was busy with his laptop where he needed to sign an important contract he nicely asked me to answer the phone.

“Uhmmm… y-yes?” I said unsure.

“Who’s that?” asked Dave surprised between his cursing as he heard the shy female voice.

“Mr. Gahan, we are on our way to your Godiva chocolate, but you must understand that even with help it takes some time. Do you want me to give you the address of the deposit? If you want to have it…”

“But who the hell are you?!” he exclaimed. He started to show distraction symptoms.

“A self-sacrificing by-passer, who has much better things to do than chasing after some chocolates for you!” I hit the ceiling hearing his tune. Doesn’t he dare to think that because he’s a celebrity he can speak with me like this!

“Uhmm… you say you’re a by-passer, but what the hell are you doing next to Andy? I mean, well it doesn’t matter. Yeah, if you’d be so nice and give me the address… And I apologize for my rude behaviour.”

I dictated the address. He kinda started freaking out when he heard that we were nearly there and will bring his chocks soon.

“Me thinks you should prepare yourself, cuz he’ll be in our heels in ten minutes” said the red-haired man and closed his laptop with a little smile on his face “He’d do anything, if it’s about choc.”

“You mean, anything, Andy?” I asked biting down my lip. Before he answered he just looked at me and shook his head.

I was quite thrilled. How could it be when Dave Gahan would do anything just for a few chocolate bars? I couldn’t help – my imagination started to work immediately. In my kinky mind my even more kinky thoughts started running around. I was wondering whether he’d drag Martin with him too and if yes, then how it’d affect my plans… Meanwhile the car finally stopped by the deposit. As we got out I discovered a trolley full of choc and I felt quite skittish.

Gahan was out of his mind: when we walked into the building he came at Andy and he said he WANTED his choc and he wanted ALL OF IT RIGHT THEN. He pushed me aside so I landed on a sofa – no idea what it was doing there. Mart just stood over me, shaking his head, but he didn’t look at me: he watched Dave running out with a pitiful expression on his face.

“I can’t believe that he made such a fest about his chocs again” he sighed “It’s getting worse with every year…” he said in a low voice then noticed me too and turned toward me, his hands folded in front of his chest. “Can I help you up, Miss?” he asked with his best and shiniest smile.

I felt I was melting. I managed to nod and a few moments later Martin, this blonde sex-god helped me up from the couch… although I wanted to pull him down on me rather.

“What a polite man… Thank you” I noted, smiling seductively – I couldn’t stop myself.

“Well, I try to protect the ruins of our image.”

“Is the situation that bad?” asked Andy. I heard just his voice, the rest of me stayed by Mart. Always these two men (Gahan and Gore) were the gods for me – I thought Fletch was a looser – especially after his map-action from today. Those green eyes!

“Who knows, Fletch? Who knows…” answered the blond sex-god while he eyed me up and down very properly with a little smile in the corner of his lips. It seemed he liked what he saw. Wow! This thrilled me. My courage started to come back. I was standing there still shocked and was thinking about falling back onto that sofa somehow. Although I tried hard, nothing came into my mind. Go away Fletch, go awaaaay! But he stayed. Go to hell!

So after all I looked away from Mart’s enchanting gaze and advised him to hurry and help the howling big kid, who stopped yelling. He just stood there, head bent, looking straight in front of him with glassy eyes. He was nearly at the brink of crying. Andy was provoking him with his choc.

“What the hell are you doing?!” cried out Mart.

“First this yeoman didn’t want to give me choc…” the pouting-desperate Dave pointed at a shocked man, who thought it was better for him to go and search to do something “…then Fletch put his paws on my choc and he doesn’t want to give it to me!” he got angry at the end and started to approach the red-haired man menacingly.

I stepped to him and I put the luxurious Belgian choc with 70% cocoa contents into his palm then I thought I’d die there from Dave’s hot and longing gaze – the problem was that it was to melt the choc not me… But despite this I enjoyed the view. Finally I turned away from this big kid, who started to eat the chocolate right away, and looked at Mart. I knew I needed to go, but I didn’t want to! Please ask me to stay, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease! But I knew that the chance was 1:10000000000000000000000000000.

Martin, like someone who knows everything, looked back at me with a more than hot gaze. He opened his divine mouth and I heard his specific voice:

“I must return your help somehow. I wouldn’t have been able to stand more of this” he nodded towards Dave. Even this sentence of his was damned hot!

“Oh, no problem. But now that you offered it…” appeared a little smile on my face “What did you think anyway?”

“What do you want?” he narrowed his green eyes a bit.

“Well… What do you offer?” I folded my arms in front of my chest – giving him a better look into my cleavage willingly. Sometimes it is great being a woman, I thought smiling. Mart reacted as I expected. Manly instincts. He gave me a faint lopsided smile, then the oh so typical light flickered.

“Well… we can offer you a day… with the band…”

Hearing this opportunity I felt my heart pounding painfully quickly in my chest. “I think I’d be mad letting this slip away…” I mused then continued with false modesty “But I don’t want to be in your way. I don’t want to hold you up…” Meanwhile I brushed my fingertips along my lower lip just to see how he reacts.

“Come on! You won’t be in our way!” he waved with his hand then my move captured his gaze. I could see as his eyes got slowly darker.

“Great. Then… what’s the first on the list?” I asked then I willingly searched for the two other guys – he doesn’t need to think that he just needs to whistle and I jump immediately – although it was true, but he doesn’t need to know it yet.

“We collect the guys and Anton or Kessy lets us know what’s on schedule for today” he followed my gaze.

“Okay, I just need to make some phone calls, just to be sure no one will be worried about me. Meanwhile – if you think – you can gather your friends” I waved towards them and not waiting for his answer I showed him my back, with the phone already by my ear to report I was sick and won’t go in today.

I finished my call quickly. When I turned around the three DM members were looking at me expectantly: Andy enchanted, Mart waiting, and Dave satisfied.

“I hope for a while you won’t drag me in such crazy things like ‘choc-hunting through the half city’” I grunted eyeing them – but addressing this especially to Dave because of his previous rude behaviour.

“I’m sorry” he said quietly, looking at me regretting everything. I nodded immediately, signaling that no harm was done. Why would?

“Then let’s go” offered Martin then I felt him linking our arms so this way he was able to lead me.

\---

The boys knew where we needed to go so I’ve found myself in a hotel soon, where they’d got the list what they needed to do. Andy usually walked his own way. The boys made music, he arranged stuff. This was well-known for every fan. And the guys didn’t like the press conferences and picking up awards anyway – they’ve sent Andy everywhere. At least it seemed like this to me. And the meeting at the hotel confirmed this: the guys gave their papers to Andy – they’ve left those things to him, which they didn’t have to arrange themselves so they had a bit less to do. When Mart saw my questioning look signaling ‘this isn’t fair’ he said:

“This way we’ll have more time for you” and gave me a melting look. I immediately gave up my ‘okay-now-I-defend-Fletch’ named project.

“Exactly. We need to make up to you because we ruined your whole day with my silly choc-addiction. It’s an interesting feeling when it comes upon me” Dave smiled like a little boy, which made him even more adorable “What do you say about bringing you to the stadium for the soundcheck? Of course just when it interests you…” he offered kindly. Now that he had his fill of choc he acted quite nicely.

“If it interests me? Are you kidding? It sure interests me! I had never been on a soundcheck! I always wanted to know how you work!” I enthused. This meant that I started babbling. Finally Mart silenced me with his index finger on my lips, smiling.

“Breathe” he looked at me still smiling. I felt my legs go weak – he was so sweet!

“Then let’s go” said Dave and opened the door to let me… ME out with a Gahanish-gallant bow.

I felt like I was drunk. I wasn’t able to stop smiling and the happiness hormones were working and screaming in me as I stepped out of the room, smiling radiantly at Mr. Chivalry Gahan while I still felt Mart’s finger’s touch linger on my lips. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. But it was.

We got to the stadium quickly – every moment with them was quickly passing for me. The boys sent me an apologizing look as they jumped onto the stage. Or rather Dave with the neatness of a panther jumped up, while Martin climbed, but I loved him like this too. I sat down onto a nearby chair – stealing the seat of someone from the DM crew, but I didn’t give a damn. The stage still looked chaotic: cables everywhere – from normal size to the thick ones – the monitors in pieces. But the microphones were there and Mart grabbed my fav guitar. Gahan chatted with Anton about something, who – thanks to some miracle – arrived here before us, then he stepped to the mic. He looked at his friend, waiting. Mart did something with his guitar then looked up at the waiting Dave and flashed a smile. Dave returned it. This picture burned into my mind for the rest of my life, although it was just a moment. Dave turned to the mic and they started playing, although they were interrupted relatively often, cuz they were checking the sounds. They made Mart play a few accords again and again, who took it patiently, although it was clear that this wasn’t his favourite thing to do. Dave sometimes grimaced when he was interrupted by his fav songs and fav parts.

I was just sitting there amazed by them and tried to capture as much pictures in my mind as it was possible. Then I kicked myself in the butt and searched for my digital cam – it’s nearly always with me. So I pulled it out of my bag and made some pics right away when from Dave’s glimpse I saw that it was okay. I’ve got more and more adventurous and stood up to walk a bit farther away, climbed up to some seats to get pics from every angle then I approached the stage too. The guys continued their rehearsal without a break. It seemed very tiring.

And Dave gave in more. He got into his stage-moves so not just one of my pics turned out juicer than the average. Of course I was just happy because of this. Then Gahan called me to him after a song and asked:

“Do you fancy giving us a lil’ backing-vocal? It’d be a great help.”

“What? Me?” I laughed not believing his words and looked at Mart for reassuring that this was just a joke.

The blonde guy nodded. I froze. Me? Singing? It was ages ago since I’ve last sang and I wasn’t sure I’m still able to do it.

“Dave, this is really flattering, but I don’t think I can do it.”

He just waved. “Is your voice clear?”

“Well it was years ago – but it was years ago! Maaany years ago.”

“Oh come on! You can’t forget how to sing. Come!” he reached for my hand to help me onto the stage.

I was a bit unsure when I grabbed it and let him pull me up. I knew that may voice’ll be shaky. I let them put me to the right place – behind a microphone. As I looked up the view took my breath away and sent a chill through my system. The stadium from this angle was something totally different. Terrifying. Enormous and imposing. I was thinking about all these and even bigger stadiums – full of fans every night on a tour… There can flow unbelievable energies on every concert. Maybe it’s not a coincidence that Dave loves what he does. A technician’s voice pulled me back to the ground. I could see that he didn’t really like my presence, cuz the boys’ attention was on me – holding up the work. For my surprise he spoke in Hungarian – then I realized that it was not a big surprise that he was a Hungarian man - after all we were at home.

“Are you listening?” asked the short and skinny man. When I nodded, he went on “First we need to adjust the mic, so say some words then comes the music. Everything’s clear? Can we start?”

I nodded unsure – I knew that my voice was going to shake like hell.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

After we were ready with adjusting the mic, the guys chose a song and Mart started to play. The guitar solo of ‘Never let me down again’ came and soon after that Dave’s voice joined the song. I was really nervous – I’m sure that it was written all over my face, cuz Mart came closer and sent me encouraging glimpses while he was playing on his guitar. He knew the song by his heart after all those shows and I’m sure he could play it with closed eyes too, I mused but came back to the earth just in time to join the chorus. The first sounds I gave out were a bit unsure, but I relatively soon caught the song’s flow so the next lines were better. At the end I was quite satisfied. When we were close to its end, Martin suddenly stood next to me, put his hand around my waist to sing the closing lines like that…

”See the stars, they're shining bright, Everything's alright tonight…"

At the end I laughed instead of singing while I had goose bumps everywhere, knowing who was embracing me. Anyway I wasn’t this happy for a long time. With a radiating smile I automatically embraced Mart’s neck as a ‘thank you’. His guitar pressed against my tummy, but I didn’t care. I wanted to do this for so long! And not in a sexual meaning, just because I can thank them so many wonderful songs – especially for this genie who wrote the lyrics.

Next to Mart’s hug the other thing which caused even more happiness was when Dave looked at me approvingly and let his green gaze rest on me for some minutes. But of course I knew that I wasn’t that good next to two such professionals… this wasn’t for my singing skills. Maybe I even blushed when this dug in.

Dave suddenly stepped to Martin and whispered something into his ear – Martin started to nod eagerly.

“What?” I asked suspiciously while I let Mart go, reached for the camera on the floor and flashed into his faces to capture this confidential whispering.

“No-no-nothing” laughed Dave “It’ll be a surprise, okay? I’m immensely grateful for your choc-getting-action and this makes me your debtor. It was just an idea for Marty, but I see he likes it already” he answered grinning widely. It crossed my mind that they were like little boys…

“Yes, it’ll be a surprise” nodded Mart too, but he couldn’t hide the smile on his face either “I think, you’ll like it…” he winked at me – one side of me melted, the other was still suspicious.

“Ah, right. I hope I won’t regret it” I shrugged a bit and after they announced that the rehearsal was over I looked at them questioningly, waiting for the next point on their list.

“Aren’t you hungry?” stroked Dave his flat tummy “Cuz I really am! It’s high time to eat something!”

I eyed him in shock “But you just ate more chocolate bars!”

“Oh come on! I’ve already stomached it” he grinned at me “You know, during tours I can eat really much, but it doesn’t show cuz the two-hours-long running on the stage keeps me in form” he shrugged in his black shirt and I left my gaze there for a moment and let my fantasy wander a bit.

“I see” I answered not paying any attention then I looked at them “Well I think we can go, cuz today I hadn’t got the chance to eat yet – thanks to our little trip.”

“We don’t want you to die from starving” Dave embraced my shoulder reassuringly.

“Do you want our rescue-angel for yourself?” asked Mart.

“She rescued me at the end, didn’t she?” grinned Dave.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! – I thought shaking when both of them had their hands on my shoulders.

“Take it easy boys, let’s call me your rescue-angel, I think it’s much easier that way” I composed myself then jogged Dave in the side “For you because I helped you to your choc and for you…” I turned to Mart repeating my previous move “cuz I spared you Dave’s further fireworks” I winked. “And now let’s go, cuz…” my tummy signaled its wish “well I think you’ve heard it…” I laughed.

\---

After a short drive the chauffeur stopped in front of Cotton Club.

“Don’t say you want to eat here!” I exclaimed.

“Why not?” asked Mart back “Their booze is quite great…”

“And did you eat here?”

“No. Would you recommend another place?”

“Sure. If non of you ate here. At the end it’s a night club and although it’s afternoon… I’d say in the name of the two hungriest people, we should go and check out the Indonesian restaurant nearby. It’s just two blocks away. It seems that two of us like that kind of food.”

“It’s okay with me too” surrendered Mart – he started to get hungry too.

The Balinese waiter was so willing to serve us, he just waited to fulfill our wishes. And I was peeking Dave. He can concentrate really hard, if he wants to. As I saw he completely closed out the outside world and had his full attention on his fish-curry. His face mirrored such joy, which made me think of another kind of joy – I couldn’t help it. Martin picked some of his dish, but rather drank – the third one from the really strong Arak. After the forth one a big smile appeared on his face. With one of his hands he pushed the food on his plate, but his other hand suddenly fell onto my lap.

“Oops” he said “I’m sorry but if I drink…”

“Don’t be afraid Mart. I hold you strong if you need it, you won’t fell off of this chair” I took his arm.

“Hmm… this sounds great” winked Curly with shining eyes then he decided to have a mouthful from his food. It seemed he doesn’t mind my hand resting on his arm. I saw in his eyes that it ran through his mind what else I could hold for him.

The food from my fork ended on my plate when I tried to put it into my mouth, cuz his hand – after a few minutes and drinks – landed on my thigh. I’m glad I wasn’t eating or drinking at that moment, because I would have drowned. I looked at him questioningly.

By this time Dave finished eating – in his case it seemed like a feast – and stood up to start going around the restaurant in circles.

“What is he doing?” I followed him with my eyes, trying to avoid Mart’s paw on me. It crossed my mind that maybe these two guys really weren’t normal…

“Me thinks he wants to go to the loo, but he can’t see it, but don’t want to ask for any help” he laughed out loud.

My question about their normality grew stronger. “Of course… but I find it a bit strange that after 45 years he still plays such games…” I sighed then looked at Mart “Will you be okay alone? Don’t drink more, or else you’ll knock yourself out and then it doesn’t matter that I’m a rescue angel or not, I won’t be able to drag you out of here…”

I stood up and left the humming Mart behind just to try to fall in line with Dave’s circling. After one and a half circle I caught up.

“Can I help you?” I asked him trying to make eye-contact.

“Hmm… well, yes. Usually I can find it alone like a big boy, but here? No way! Where’s that particular room, my Beauty?”

“What? So, yeah, I get it. I ask the waiter. But Dave… ‘my Beauty’? You are a real troubadour, you know?”

“When nature is calling then you have to go…” he winked then laughed too as he followed me to the men’s room.

“From here you can handle it alone, right? Or you need further help?”

“Well not in this, but you bet I need help in something else.”

Not seeing my shocked face he hurried in and I was just standing there frozen to that spot.  
After a few minutes Dave came out relieved, grinning. I was still braining on his words.

“Well, thanks. I think we should move on” he checked his watch then looked towards Martin, who tried to spark the waitress. “We should take him as well, or else he’ll knock himself out again” he sighed shaking his head.

“All right. We should go till he can walk on his own feet. With that ‘enormous’ tummy of his we wouldn’t be able to carry him anywhere!” I said and wanted to go back to him, but suddenly I felt Dave’s long fingers on my upper arm. He pulled me gently to him then looking deeply into my eyes with his insanely sexy voice he whispered:

“Listen, honey. I know that you like both of us, but look at Martin – I think after five minutes he won’t be able to do anything – in every meaning, so if you want to have a good time – and why won’t you do so, after all not anybody can have this lucky, getting this close to us… so if you want to have a night to remember then just leave yourself to me. I take you out somewhere, if you want it. The decision is yours.”

I choked from these sentences. WHAT??? I can’t be this lucky!!! IS THIS A JOKE???!!! I can’t believe, I clattered inside, but gathered all of my strength to look calm – just my insanely shining eyes betrayed what his offer did to me. I tried to stay on the ground.

“Uhm… I think I’m right if I say you have a concert tonight…” I started after clearing my throat “Your offer is tempting, but there’s one problem…” I folded my arms and he let me go. I didn’t care that my body nearly cried out from this.

“What?” he looked at me with disbelief. It was clear he hasn’t expected this answer.

“Well, I’m not sure whether you’d be able to ‘entertain’ me fully after such an intense show…”

“Well…” Dave started – it was clear to me that my sentence surprised him. The former arrogant smile disappeared. Until now no one questioned his stamina. After a moment of hesitating he continued “I always have more than enough strength to entertain such a beautiful creature… I can prove it after the concert if you don’t believe me.”

His smug grin returned then he headed for Martin to collect him. For a few moments I was just standing there like a statue. Well okay, if he wants to prove it, I won’t hold him back! Dave looked back and waved – it was time for me to go too. A confused and satisfied smile ran through my face. I was waiting forward to see what’ll come out of this. Even the thought that Dave Gahan wants to prove it to ME, made me excited beyond words and I was planning going home to change before the concert. OMG! Dave Gahan! This is more than I can handle, I thought and returned to Martin. With a few waves we sent the relieved waitress away, who staid with Mart just because of the local rules.

“But wwwwhy?” Mart pulled away the last word disappointed.

“Because today you have a concert to give” I noted waving for the bill.

\---

I was slowly walking after Dave – feasting my eyes with his perfect butt – and I was weighting my chances for this evening while he was talking on his cell with someone. Martin was following him – his eyes seemed to get slowly clearer as he sobered with a light headache. While Dave was speaking I’ve heard a few times clearly that he said “But don’t you get it? We’ve promised this surprise”. I wished I could have known what it was and whether it was my surprise or not, I mused then followed Dave into the car, sitting right next to him.

“You don’t have a boring life, that’s for sure. It must be very tiring being always on the road…” I noted looking out of the window “By the way what’s our destination now?”

“Well” said Dave “it’s 4 pm – we are over the soundcheck, had lunch and as I guess we have still 3 hours free-time. You just lean back and wait patiently. Your surprise’ll come soon” he leant back – really-really-really close to me, nearly nuzzling. Our legs touched all the way – I felt the heat radiating from his body, smelled his fresh manly scent and when he lifted my chin and looked into my eyes I asked him:

“What is this all about? Not that I wouldn’t enjoy it, you just made me curious” I let myself sink into that mysterious gaze.

“You just need to decide whether you dare to do it or not.”

“But what?”

“Are you a brave girl? Because this is such a thing which always makes my heart beat faster every time I face it. And Mart is scared too…”

“Oh my god, what can it be that scares you both this much?” I asked with panic in my voice and thousands of possibilities ran through my mind. Tattoo? Piercing? But Mart doesn’t have one. Even a threesome came into my mind, but I doubt it would scare them. He enjoyed every moment of my horror then he embraced my shoulders and whispered into my ear:

“Today you’re gonna sing with me on stage, baby!”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY???” I screamed straightening up and looked at the grinning singer, who was still dangerously close to me “What did you think??? I wasn’t that good on the rehearsal! I won’t buy it! And anyway… and how and when and mostly why?” I started to panic. I put my hand onto my heart, cuz I thought it’d jump out of its place. ME singing in front of thousands??? With DEPECHE MODE????!!!! No way…

“We thought you were open for new things and as I saw, you like Depeche, so it’d be a lifetime experience. You passed the test on the soundcheck, you know the lyrics, your voice is nice – you’ll be a great vocalist. You’d stand behind me, what do you say? By the way you’ll see the texts on the projector during the concert.”

“I can’t believe Dave! I’ll see just one thing: you!” I stuttered.

“What the fuck, I’ll be the invisible man?” woke Mart up from his nap.

“Oh come on, of course not!” I hugged his waist friendly and pulled him closer so our sides touched “Don’t be sad little Mart, you are just as adorable as Dave.”

“Right answer!” he rubbed his eye then looked at his friend “What’s up Gahan? Isn’t your charm working? I thought you’ve already jumped onto our angel” he noted flinging then looked at me. The adrenaline in my system started to be too much. The two men of my dreams on my two sides… I was surprised that I didn’t faint yet. Mart went on: “By the way your voice is really good and a little diversity on our concerts would be great. I think it’d be a big buzz for you, especially in your home-country… Just think about it…” he tried to hex me with his eyes. It was the first time I wished I was a chameleon so I could look into both seducing gazes. It was such a gaze that even Jesus ran for 40 days in the desert from it. I felt all of my resistance disappearing.

“Okay then“ I agreed “But what’s your problem with your voice? I think it’s beautiful. And what’s this Dave-wants-to-jump-on-me stuff?” I was ‘shocked’.

“I don’t have any problems with my voice – I’ll do the vocal too and singing as well, you just help me out. We bring some excitement into your show” he shrugged and with his index finger he stroked along my upper arm playfully “And Dave… well he is just Dave… if he sees a pretty girl…” he winked.

“Who told you that I’d jump on anybody? There are enough poses, am I right? Don’t you want a little training, sweetie?”

“Martin, David, you scare me! Don’t you mind that I’m sitting right between you? I think I wouldn’t be a too experienced luxurious slag” I bent my head down.

“We didn’t mind it that way!” they said in the same time “We are sorry! We just wanted to start your fantasy. You know how it goes: everything’s going on in the brain” said Dave and tickled my neck. With one slap I pushed his hand away. I pouted and waited for their placation. Mart sent his mate a frown and snuggled to me.

“Please…” he whispered kindly “Don’t be mad at us. We are crazy! Sorry about this” he looked at me with an apologizing and melting look.

For a minute I was just hemming inside, but couldn’t hold back and laughed. This big mug could cuddle to me so sweetly that I couldn’t do anything else. Mart straightened satisfied, but let his hand on my waist. He let it there and Dave let his on my shoulders. I felt very strange – in my stomach ten-thousand nice little ladybirds were running up and down and my head was as light as a bag of butterflies.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

“I forgive you with one condition…” I stopped laughing, but I was still smiling at my two “kidnappers”.

“Name it!” twisted Dave one of my tufts.

“Before the concert someone should take me home, because I want to prepare myself. I think this farmer-halter duo wouldn’t be enough on stage.”

“I have to go to an appointment, baby” said Mart resignedly “but this jerk will do this favour for you, I’m sure” he stabbed at his mate.

I turned to Dave with a radiating smile. His eyes flashed with a telltale light, but I couldn’t read anything else from them. Oh my good! What if he wants to come in? I bet I forgot to tidy up! Moreover the flat is full of his pictures! – I moaned inside, but said out lout just this: “Okay then. So if Mr. Gahan would be so kind to put me out by my house and would waiting for me patiently, or would come back for me, then there’s no problem. Now that you dragged me into this…”

“Of course” he smiled “But you must invite me for a coffee.”

“Okay, deal” I nodded while from a sudden idea I softly touched the tip of his nose with my index finger.

“Waiting patiently – yeah, it was always one of my strengths” David smiled.

“Please stop by the Cotton Club!”

“No, Mart, you shouldn’t” took Dave his friend’s hand apprehensively and looked at him with such fear for him that it totally confused me. Oh my gosh, I’m sitting here between two prize-winner men who worry for each other like Philemon and Baucis. I started to feel strange.

“Don’t worry, please. I’ll be okay. I swear it’s really a contract. I meet Mr. McKanna there, but we go to the Four Season’s conference room” looking into Dave’s eyes he added: “Thank you for looking after me.”

Dave nodded and looked out of the window. I did the same. I had strange feelings. I’ve read things about Gahan, that he’s a bit cocky… well he really is cocky a bit. But next to this he’s anxious and sensitive. And Mart is… crazy. I love both of them!

“All right, lil’ Miss” smacked Mart onto my thigh when we stopped in front of the club “Now I won’t be around for a while. Take care of him” he nodded grinning towards the singer “Don’t let him do anything stupid!” he added with an even wider grin then bent to me to place a kiss onto my face – I wouldn’t say that it was too far from my mouth…

“Don’t worry I’m an official guardian angel – although not from Charile’s angels, but I’m just as tough” I winked.

“Where can I bring you?” asked the driver and I gave him the address. Fortunately there wasn’t a big traffic jam like usually so we could go along quite quickly – although I wished Critical Mass was today! Because my favourite singer wasn’t at a loss: he rested one of his hands on my thigh and with the other he stroked my neck.

I couldn’t say a word. I was a bit puzzled cuz I realized again and again whose hands were on my body… I was sitting on the backseat with arms folded under my breasts and looked out of the window. Rationality was nowhere. Silly things crossed my mind as my eyes took in the familiar streets. Is this serious? Dave Gahan coming to my flat?? – I asked myself and sighed a big one – which he mistook and continued and his hands started to wander more daringly. And now I took deep breaths not because I was at a loss, but from the desire which was rising in me.

“Dave…” I put my hand onto his warm hand to stop him.

“What?” he looked into my eyes with his darker irises.

“This isn’t the time to prove…” I said. I wanted him to feel that although my body started to burn from his touches he can’t always have what runs through behind his handsome face.

He eyed me slowly. He didn’t like my answer – he didn’t expect this. I grinned exultingly. I won our first match. I saw in his eyes that he wants… me. Me! This shocked and filled me with pride. I leant close – real close - to him joshing, and looked deep into his eyes. He looked back at me firmly. I kept the eye-contact. He has such unbelievable eyes! And he knew this fact really well. He had no intentions letting me go, he kept my gaze with his eyes and I couldn’t look elsewhere – I was just watching him mesmerized. He took both of my hands into his and was still grinning confidently and unashamedly. I wasn’t able to break the eye-contact so I asked straight into his face:

“Why do you want this, David?”

“I don’t want to tell you my motivations – it wouldn’t be that fun anymore…” he whispered nearly into my mouth.

I looked down at his full lips and accepted his answer with a little smile. It killed me that I could be THIS close to him. It wouldn’t have disturbed me, knowing the ‘great’ quality of Hungarian roads, if the car jumped a bit – so the space between our lips could vanish, but it didn’t happen. The car slowed down then stopped – just when Dave wanted to bend forward. With a wide grin I pulled away and shook my head a bit. I got out of the car. I saw a little disappointment on his face, cuz the moment was over. But I knew very well that he can bring us into such situations ANYTIME. I was searching for my keys when I walked towards the gate. I’ve heard Dave’s footsteps behind me after he told the driver that we’ll be back soon. We all had doubts about this ‘soon’, but I didn’t say a word just when we stopped in front of my door.

“Well, Mr. Gahan, I warn you that my flat isn’t a mansion and it’s a little messy at the moment, but maybe you can survive” I opened the door and invited DAVE GAHAN into MY FLAT! He stepped in. Uhm, I hope he skims over their pictures on some of my walls, I thought. He slowly and methodically mapped my flat. “Can I bring you something to drink?” I asked when he sat down on my couch.

“Yep, an orange juice would be nice and of course that strong coffee you promised and lured me up here.”

“Me?” I yelled indignantly then I saw that seeing my angry face made him rolling from laughter.

“Okay, okay, I just pecked. I’m here because I planned this afternoon just like this.”

“What were your exact plans?”

“Being with you.”

“And tell me why can I have this undivided attention?” I squinted at him wile I took a step towards the kitchen.

“I’m that grateful type” he answered humbly.

“How good it is for me…” I smiled “And because of this I need to do coffee for you, right?” I grimaced and walked into the kitchen.

I began with the coffee but I was so excited having the divine Dave Gahan in the middle of my living room that with my shaking hands I accidentally pushed a big glass down from the table, which landed with a loud clash. A spicy Hungarian cursing left my mouth as I started to pick up the pieces. Dave heard the noise too – he was examining a few drawings “Is everything okay, Hon?”

“Yes of course, it was just a cheesy glass. Ouch!” I exclaimed when a bigger piece cut deep into my skin and a deep red blood drop appeared immediately there. After this Dave came after me into the kitchen with a ‘what-the-heck-is-this-girl-doing’ expression on his face as he bent down to me to look at my injury.

“Well, you cut it nicely” he said shaking his head while he gently pulled my hand to him to see the damage clearer.

“Um, it’s nothing. The bleeding will stop… then you’ll get your coffee’ I said softly and managed to smile.

“It seems that the bleeding won’t stop quickly… let me see” and with this he really gently took my finger between his sensual full lips to suck it a bit. I wanted to faint when I felt his soft tongue on my fingertip… I could see it clearly that the taste of my blood didn’t disturb Dave, moreover I think he liked it… After a few minutes he let my finger go and looked at the bruise. “Uh-oh this is quite deep. We should bandage it.

“I have medical tape somewhere. I go and look for it” I said quickly and wanted to stand up, but he didn’t let me. He pulled me closer and I let him. We were really close now.

“Don’t be afraid, injures with cuts doesn’t bleed for too long” he said and licked the corner of his lips where a few of my blood drops remained. He gave me a serious Bela Lugosi face, pulling his lip up. We laughed like fools, kneeling in the kitchen. But we both knew that we can’t resist for too long – otherwise usually Dave just acted and left thinking for the others.  
He pulled me so close that while he licked his mouth, his tongue nearly touched my lips. My heart skipped a beat. Oh my god, he’ll kiss me, I thought – but of course I liked the situation. We looked deeply into each others eyes and I melted from his green look.

And then it happened. His lips touched mine and after a while his tongue found its way to mine. My whole body started to shake from the feeling. I felt Dave’s hands around me as he embraced me and pressed me against his body. But when he cut his palm too he stood up hissing.

“Kitty, do you have a bed?”

“Wasn’t the demonstration part after the concert, my panther?”

“At this moment I don’t care about the concert or the demonstration – now I just want to love you.”

I melted to the floor from this sentence. I looked at him with big eyes. “Please love me. I don’t care where just love me!”

“I suggest we stand up, but otherwise the kitchen table will do too” he said then pushed everything onto the floor and put me onto the table.

I smiled because of Dave’s impatience then grabbed him by his black shirt and pulled him to me for a fierce kiss. He didn’t protest – he had enough to do. Judging his grumbling this wasn’t the first time when he had problems with women’s belts. If I didn’t want him to rip off my clothes – oops I wanted – I needed to help him. So I let his shirt go and took off my clothes. He was standing there, waiting and when he saw that he had a green light, he bent over me again.

He took possession over me deliberately – he stripped and caressed my chest, tummy and tights while his lips crushed on mine. My hands grabbed Dave’s body eagerly and soon his dark shirt landed on the floor too. I searched for his belt and finally found its buckle – it wasn’t hard for me to loosen it. Suddenly it hit me where my hands were and it filled me with huge pride. It was a shame that I couldn’t tell to anyone. Although this way this experience will be just mine and Dave’s.

Dave moaned and attacked my lips. I hardly could keep up with his wild kisses – we were both panting. I felt how much he wanted me – there was no doubt, his body showed me. His lust fired me up even more. I nearly begged him to do what must be done in such a situation. He ripped off my clothes then he bit my neck. I moaned out loud from the feeling. While his mouth was pampering my skin, I felt his hips moving forward forcefully. We can say that things had found their place. I was so sure that Dave was in the right place, where he belongs. In me.

I couldn’t stop a big moan as he penetrated me with his full length. My whole body tensed from the feeling. My fingers dig into his back as I let my head fall back in my rapture. Just from this one movement I felt my orgasm come nearer, but I managed not to come right away. I sighed – nearly moaned – when DAVE GAHAN started to move inside of me! I thought it wouldn’t be possible, but it was! I blessed myself because I chose that route this morning. And now I’m here in my own kitchen, on my own table with my adored idol. If I recall it correctly, adoring an idol is sin… Then now I sinned… But who the hell cares? I don’t mind! If Hell is like this then I love being there with Dave…

I came back from my cloudy thoughts when his lips found my naked tits. His pushes were getting stronger and quicker. His eagerness drove me crazy. I scratched his shoulders softly and dig into his hair by his nape when he laid me down on the table, while I put my legs around his waist.

“You do it quite good so far…” I moaned with a little smile in the corner of my lips and watched his moves when my head didn’t hit the table to his rhythm. My hips mirrored his movements a few times just to provoke him a little more. He didn’t answer. I’ve heard from his frequent moans that he got closer and closer to his own climax. To hinder this – and to kill me – his pushes got longer. I moaned plaintively from this. Why, WHY was he torturing me? “Did anyone tell you…” I gulped a big one “that you… would be a great tyrant?” My body followed his calmer rhythm and I tightened my legs around his waist.

“Yeah, they did…” he answered smiling then changed this painfully slow pace just to get deeper in me and accelerate his speed. I rewarded him with a louder groan as I closed my eyes. I felt the unbearable heat radiating from my body – knowing that Dave was doing me just in the way I always wanted excited me even more! I moaned louder and louder. It didn’t matter that the hard table hurt my body, that I couldn’t breathe in this wild shag – I just wanted to feel Him moving inside of me, lifting me higher and higher. I couldn’t stop myself – I needed to scratch his shoulders with my nails. I stroked his divine back-tattoo not just once then it broke out of me with a big moan: “Deeper!”

He fulfilled my wish without a question but now he moaned too. “I’m nearly there!” he moaned again.

“Me…too!” I panted grabbing his neck. I felt that thanks to the intense siege I was nearly at the end. My free hand grabbed the edge of the table, my vision started to blur, the blood was thudding in my ears and my heart pumped the blood in my system like mad. I’ve totally got lost in Dave’s moves, into the feelings he evoked in me. I’ve heard his voice from a distance then it was like an explosion. My body screamed and strained – I’ve heard Dave’s yell then nothing. Everything went quiet for a few moments then everything fell on me at the same time: voices, time, and reality. I didn’t want it to end!

But it was over. I was panting when I looked up at him – his hips still moving gently for a few moments. I saw that he didn’t want to pull away and this gave me satisfaction. I wiped off a sweatdrop from his specific nose and saw that he wanted to tell me something.

“This… was quite good” he smiled and moved his hips once.

“What? Quite good?” I moaned toward the ceiling because of his evil move “What’s this ‘quite good’? Do you want to change places? You want ME to demonstrate tonight, or what? Or this whole thing was a cover-action so that I won’t realise that you wouldn’t be able to satisfy me tonight?” I stuck out the tip of my tongue for a moment.

“What do you say? Me not being able to satisfy you? What kind of accusation is this?” he snorted.

“Well… you wanted to hurry things. Just look at you – I smudged you with my blood too” I sighed with false regret and pulled his head closer to me. I licked my blood off of his neck. “It was quite vampire-ish, wasn’t it?” I muttered onto the warm and fragrant skin.

“Yeah, something like that” he answered while he slipped out of me.

I sighed quietly then sat up. The pleasure this man caused was still quivering in my body. I pulled him closer for one more kiss as I was sitting on the edge of the table then I caressed his face and let him go. “I think I could use a shower” I noted.

“All right” he answered while he started to get dressed “I’ll jump in the hotel.”

“Hey, you don’t have to – I give you a towel and you can have your shower here, too. You’re no trouble. And by the way we have no time to waste…” I shrugged with a smile.

“Then I join you, okay?” he winked.

“It’s okay by me… you already saw me naked” I returned his gesture then followed by his gaze I walked out of the kitchen naked, leaving the ‘battlefield’ behind. I went to the bedroom to bring two towels. Dave didn’t trouble himself, I’ve found him in the bathroom already – he let the water run in the shower. I put the towels down and folded my arms in front of my chest as I stood there, Dave showing me his back. I shamelessly eyed his naked and wet body. “Well… who’s gonna join whom?”

He didn’t say a word just embraced my waist and pulled me under the water.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

After we were finally ready we got into the car and hit the road – I don’t really know where we were going. I was too happy to take in such things. I was sitting next to Dave, legs crossed. The singing fell out of my head too and I needed to thank Dave for warning me to wear the right dress. Dave… Both the kitchen and shower scene were now burned into my mind. And of course that one too when I was standing in front of my wardrobe without a clue what to wear, Dave watching me with a smile, leaning against the door frame and telling me his opinion about the dresses. Then I hadn’t hesitated, I picked the first one he said it was okay and now I’m sitting next to him. But this isn’t the point… My brain started to realize that Dave Gahan… twice… Oh my god! This is unbelievable… I was looking out of the window while I knew very well that he was sitting right next to me with a satisfied smile on his handsome face.

Martin was waiting for us. He eyed me slowly – twice. This flattered my vanity and unwillingly I sent him an ambiguous smile back. We had a few hours to the concert. Dave suggested that we don’t let Mart behind so we stayed together.

“Well, how was Mr. I-can’t-live-without-choc as an attendant?” floated Mart next to me.

“Quite good” I answered. Dave was just smiling.

“Somehow I suspected… I know Dave quite well…” he noted eying both of us “How many times?” he asked suddenly. It was as if I detected some harm in his voice, but it was possible that I just imagined it.

I was quite shocked and my face showed it. Dave didn’t say a word, but presumably he showed the number on his hand, because I saw in Mart’s eyes that he got his answer. I still couldn’t speak. Martin remained silent and nodded with a neutral expression. But it was as if he closed himself into his own world. I couldn’t get it.

“Let’s go – soon we need to go to the arena to arrive earlier than the fans” he squinted back at us and continued his way.

I felt myself a bit like a caught teenager, but I didn’t know why, cuz I didn’t owe anything to Martin. But the way he acted disturbed me a little. I looked at Dave, who didn’t spot it, then I shrugged and followed them. I won’t feel myself bad because of this!

But it was still bugging me. It wasn’t remorse, cuz there was no cause to do so. I just wanted to understand this blonde guy better. I let myself sink into my thoughts, but just for a little bit – I knew if I overdid it, I would keep my brain running around this question whole day long and this day was too precious to waist it on Mart’s soul-analysis. But I didn’t dig it, I let it work in the back of my mind to solve the puzzle. I kept my eyes on him. Maybe it disturbs him that Dave gets whatever he wants and he can be just the “second”? Maybe he wanted me too? No, this would be too naïve even from me. That fact alone that Dave wanted me was a miracle too – although I don’t know whether he just obeyed for his momentary instincts, or he liked me. Did I pass his ‘test’ which makes me ‘worthy’ to sleep with him? It didn’t matter how I saw it – Dave is a divine guy, who naturally knows this. Maybe he’s a bit arrogant. But of course this can be true by Mart too – no matter how much I love them. I know they are different, they live in a different world and I should be really grateful being a part of it for a short time. But this never was my style. I didn’t beg them to pick me up, I never waited in front of hotels, I never followed them on tours. I know where my and their places are and that there’s a huge difference between these two worlds. I won’t act like someone else for two stars’ sake. And if Gahan did what he had done just to give me a favour then it would be better for him not facing me. He should do what he does because he wants to do it and not because he wants to please me.

While we were walking Mart looked at us a few times with a strange gaze. Was he weighting that Dave… If I found it strange that an hour ago I was screaming Dave’s name on the kitchen table, it would be okay. Not every day can I be that lucky that ‘His Royal Highness’ lays me down in my own kitchen. But what’s with Mart?

Now he suddenly stopped and asked me: “Uhm… maybe my demand’ll look a bit intimate, but would you come with me? I want to show you something. Don’t think on anything bad.”

“I don’t think that it’d be bad to go with you” I answered smiling. This took both their breaths and they were just looking at me. For a whole minute, without a word…

Dave let me go with Curly without any resistance. Mart wants to show me something? It’s quite weak… I smiled to myself. But there was something in his eyes which gave me the hint that he really wanted to show me something – and under this I mean something decent. His eyes were serious and mysterious and when we got to the door of his room there were shining sparkles in his emerald irises. Uhm… ‘It was a question of lust’ what was reflecting in them. And I started to question myself whether it would be too bitchy to love two such guys on one day?

I felt strange. What am I? I never thought of myself as a courtesan, but this is such an opportunity! It would be a sin missing it. And that look, those eyes, and that gaze… I felt as if I was drowning from desire, which came from those green eyes. My body screamed out painfully. I wanted this man. I just couldn’t get it why they wanted me? I’m not an outstanding beauty, I’m not special. Then why? I really hoped there wasn’t any twist or competition behind it – Gahan-Gore: 25429 to 25428 or something like that. I hoped but there was no guarantee. But it didn’t matter anymore as I looked at Mart – my thoughts left me and just one word flashed in front of my eyes with big neon lights: SEX.

Mart slowly eyed me then took my left wrist to pull me into his room. During this I got closer to him and smelled his scent. It sent chills down my spine. He enslaved me. He slammed the door suddenly and pinned me to it with his body. He talked just after a lustful kiss. Oh my god, it was like a death-experience! I knew that I’d die. I knew that with his gaze he’d be able to set even a wet log on fire – not to mention me. I knew that he’ll set me on fire within a second just to burn me to ashes. He didn’t hesitate – he came at me like a mad cow on its own son.

He pressed me totally against the wood, there was absolutely no space between us. My knees went weak – it was a miracle that I could still stand. Maybe it was just Martin who was holding my body, cuz he was standing… in every meaning. His tongue found its way fiercely. While he was stroking my face with one of his hands the other was searching much deeper and finally it found its goal through my clothes: he found my very core and this caused a lustful moan from me. His gold and curly tufts fell onto my face as he was kissing me greedily, gently tickling my forehead and the tip of my nose – this just heightened my pleasure. But then suddenly I came to myself - I felt guilt because not too long ago the black panther was panting into my face in his joy… and now… What am I doing? Is this normal? But then my brain switched off again and I was led just by my senses. I wouldn’t be able to stop Martin – he already blew off my mind too much.

It seemed that he noticed my little hesitation, cuz he stopped my pampering and took my face into his hands. He looked at me questioningly. He didn’t say a word yet, but I could read everything from his eyes.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I moaned.

“We?” he asked back.

“You know what I mean. I saw that you knew what had happened this afternoon!”

“Yes, but I want to show you that with me it’ll be much better!”

“Please tell me that this isn’t a competition between you two!”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a competition – it’s more like a friendly rivalry. A survey. Now you’ll be Paris – whom will you give the apple? I want to know this.”

“And what if I say both of you are kind to my heart?”

“It’s nice from you. But you don’t have to choose from us, we are just curious. We had a lot of debates about this question during our long friendship and now it’s time to get the answer. You know us, men!”

“Yep. Capacity-oriented?”

“Kinda. This is important to us… but where was I?” he asked then concentrated on the technical anatomy again.

I looked back at him. My eyes were holding the answer. I didn’t know if Dave had given me the opportunity to step back if I wanted. Probably not. But Mart would have. This was the difference between them. That’s why it was possible to love them passionately. They were so different… I would not have been able to say no to Dave, even if I wanted and Mart simply paid attention to me…

Yes, he paid attention… and wanted me! I felt the clean-cut sign of it by my groin, telling me what he wanted most: impaling me as soon as possible. He attacked me again – his hands were squeezing my breasts then one went to my butt and finally he grabbed both of my arms and with a sudden movement he pinned them onto the door, next to my head. I was at his mercy and I let him do what he wanted to do. I just made some pelvic movements, exciting the both of us. This was insane! His kisses, his hard member… and the way he was panting into my ear.

I felt so weak that I started to slide, but Mart kept me in place. He saw my lustful gaze. He turned me and I got on my knees. Mart knelt behind me and grabbing my waist he pulled me closer until my butt touched his groin. I felt his interest, although it wasn’t the hardest. He got rid off his clothes within a minute then laying me onto my back he started to unbutton my trousers. He dragged it down impatiently then came my shirt and bra – they landed a few meters away. Mart’s wildness worked me up too. When he planned to get rid off the last shackle, his fingers went under my panties. I thought I was in heaven, but this was nothing compared to what came next! Pulling the little thong aside he started to excite me with his tongue – he continued this until my body screamed painfully for this man. At that moment with one pull he yanked off my thong.

“Come and turn back to your previous pose. I want you from behind – now!”

I looked at him with desire and I took in the sight of his hard member. I neglected his call, just looked up into his imperative green eyes. Then with a sudden move I got closer to him – it was payback-time for his tongue-work. Martin moaned from his throat and grabbed my hair. He wanted to resist, but I didn’t let him. But after a few moments he pulled me away after all and pushed me down onto my stomach. I barely rose from the floor when he – without any warning – pushed into me as deep as he could. I screamed – no, not from pain, but from the intense feeling. My whole body tensed from it and from the strong plunging as he loved me from behind. I was scratching the soft carpet and my body arched backwards as I looked toward the ceiling in disbelief. I silently prayed a silent ‘thank you’ because I could have both of them on the same day.

I didn’t hold back my voice – I didn’t care who could hear us. I nearly went insane as the lust came in greedier and bigger waves. I could feel his hands on me during his strong thrusts. First they grabbed my waist then caressed my back just to find and squeeze my breasts harder. A joyful moan escaped my mouth. A satisfied little smile crossed Martin’s face and stroked his hand down my tummy to disappear between my legs. His left hand got back to my waist. The carpet rubbed my knees, but I didn’t give a shit. I let myself completely go – I was living for the moment. My sighs mingled with my moans, which got louder. I was kneeling there at his mercy, following the course of his pushes obediently. 

My hands went week when I felt that he wasn’t pampering me just with his rock-hard cock, but with his fingers too… I nearly screamed from the joy I felt. Goose bumps appeared on me everywhere when I felt Mart’s lips and tongue sliding between my shoulder-blades. He started to bite my skin gently. I thought it was more than I could handle. I felt this beloved man simply everywhere on and in my body. Every rational thought had left me, I let the pleasure fly high. It started to get unbearable. I couldn’t see a thing – I really screamed this time. I was living through the sweet suffering. This just… hurt – it was that good! If we were in another pose, I would have scratching his back for sure, or would have closed him between my arms, but in this position scratching the carpet had left for me. I nearly went crazy, cuz I wasn’t able to touch him!! This was torture. My soul, my body, my hands, my everything were aching from this, but he was still plunging into my mercilessly. How could someone bear this with a clear head? – I screamed inside. His moves, his scent and his moans – everything were working up my passion and the urgent need to finally have our climaxes.  
After a few moments an even harder thrust he took my breath away then I screamed Martin’s name as my body shook from the great power of my orgasm. I felt a teardrop running down my face.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

 

Passion washed through my body in an intense way. I couldn’t remember when Martin joined me, I just felt it that now his semen got into me too. This is crazy, I thought. I was lying on the floor panting. He followed me willingly to the ground. I felt his weight on me which evoked comfortable feelings in me as he was kissing my shoulder-blades and shoulders. My body still couldn’t calm down – I had goose bumps everywhere while my skin was very hot. This was too much for my body. I psyched out and couldn’t move. I took deep breaths. I’d have panted but with Mart on my back I couldn’t do it, so I filled my lungs and exhaled slowly. With this I lifted Mart too with every breath I took.

After a few minutes I heard him whisper into my ear “Hmmm… I must say that… you were very tasty… and loud” he giggled silently.

I laughed back softly. Goose bumps rose on my nape where I felt Mart’s breath. Please, turn around, I begged inside. It was as if Mart had read my mind, he propped himself on his hands and asked me on his deeper voice “Turn around, please…”

I obeyed smiling then I looked into those beautiful green eyes, while my fingers were stroking one of his upper arms. He slowly bent down to me. I thought he would never touch my lips with his. He barely pressed them onto mine – he was playing with them softly. He wasn’t unsure, rather he was enjoying these little kisses. But I couldn’t hold back my burning senses. I returned his kisses passionately – giving more and more sensuality into my answers.

After a few minutes Martin sighed a wobbly one, pulling away from me and giving me the opportunity to kiss his neck. I gently bit onto the exposed skin. Now I was sitting and Mart let me push him into a sitting position without a word. He embraced me with his arms and pulled me closer to him. But I wanted more. I quickly sat onto his lap and nestled to him tightly. I propped my arms onto his shoulders and crossed my arms behind his head, while we were kissing deeply again – passion took over us slowly. I did my best to show this man that… What exactly?

I didn’t know for sure. Maybe that I’m different from the other girls, whom they can have whenever they wanted? Those perfect dolls do everything they say – not that I’m not – but I still felt myself different. I had no clue why I was kissing him with such élan, cuz we had nothing to do with each other. But he had such an effect on me, which I would not have imagined.

His hands started to move on my body again – they were caressing my back and waist. I didn’t dare to hope for another round from him too. My sanity was fighting with my instincts. I could have damned me or they could put me down as a cheap little… But I didn’t care. I wanted them not to forget this crazy day for a while. Even if just for a week, it would make me happy in a crazy way. I shrugged inside and cleared my mind. I wanted to concentrate just on Martin. I’ve always imagined him through the years as the more emotional type, who can be really colourful behind the cold surface. I wanted to taste this, even if it meant “just” this way. While I put one of my hands onto his shoulder, the other started to stroke him, barely touching his skin. My caressing fingers wandered deeper and deeper on his body. During our passionate kisses sometimes I bit down onto his lower lip and pulled it a bit. I was playing with him. I knew that my eyes got darker from desire as I looked at his sweet smile then I slid my hand straight between us… I gently caressed his lower tummy – reaching his groin – then I pulled it back again. I was looking into his eyes, watching his reactions. He added two wobbly sighs to his smile then said:

“Evil…” he moaned.

“Yes, I am…” I narrowed my eyes “But you want to compensate in your little ‘rivalry’, don’t you?” I ran my fingers on his inner thighs.

“Not necessarily, but usually I don’t ruin such games” he answered while he closed his eyes. Using the opportunity, I grabbed his shaft firmly while I bit into his collarbone. He moaned faintly. I didn’t let his bone go – I rather bit down on it a little harder. My fingers went down and I grabbed him gently. I wanted him to feel the pain and joy I caused in the same time. His skin broke out in goose bumps from this double pleasure and he grabbed my butt firmly, while he tried to free his collarbone. He managed. With a rough move he grabbed my hair and pulled me away – I hissed from the pain and the thought that I was now vulnerable - then I was watching him licking my throat while my body shuddered.

First I moaned from the pain then from the pleasure. As an answer I grabbed his semi-hard cock firmer and I accelerated my speed. I dig into his shoulder with my free hand. I heard Mart’s loud moan and felt as his member grew bigger in my hand.

“I can’t believe it…” he huffed while he fiercely pulled me into his lap.

“Did I surprise you?” I lifted one of my eyebrows while I slid my free hand onto his nape. I looked into his beautiful eyes from really close, but my right hand continued what I’ve started.

“You impress me” he answered then kissed me sensually. It soon got more passionate. With his free hand he stopped my working hand and pushed it gently away just to lift me a bit.

“It’s just good, isn’t it?” I asked, but when I realised what he was up to do, I strained my body “No, not yet!” He huffed a little disappointed but put me down and looked at me questioningly. “You know… I’ve decided something…” I licked the edge of my dry mouth while I was playing with the tip of his cock.

“What?”

I gave him an evil smirk and started to push him backward as I put one of my hands onto his chest. “That this crazy day can’t come to an end until I feel your or Dave’s cock in my mouth…” I stated shamelessly.

Mart grinned widely – he liked this rough straightforwardness. “As you wish…”

“Somehow I suspected that you won’t disagree…” I smiled leaning over him for a quick kiss then leaving out his chest I already tasted his skin on his lower tummy. I knew that something was waiting for me – ready for the action – a bit lower, but I wanted to drive him crazy a little further. He moaned impatiently and his hips made a forceful move. I playfully licked along his lower tummy and looked up at him grinning. Our eyes met. I stroked his rock-hard shaft from the bottom. I won’t do anything until he says something.

“What are you waiting for?” he looked at me with burning eyes – I thought I’d melt in that moment.

“Well for something like this…” I winked then gave him what he was longing for and I could be happy too, because I had what I wanted, although first I just ran my tongue on him. Then I showered his shaft with my kisses before I really took him into my mouth. He grabbed my hair and moaned toward the ceiling. I gave in everything I knew to get Martin under my spell. And it seemed to work, because he was moaning louder and got tenser under me. Sometimes he put off my rhythm when he moved his hips. I pulled away from him and licked him again then I put my teeth into the game too. I wanted him to show me somehow that he was under my control.

To reach this goal I tried a well-known but great trick. While my mouth was moving up and down on him, my tongue was playing along the lower side of his shaft just to repeat this movement from its base to the tip. From the feeling I caused he groaned and grabbed my long brown hair firmly – again – and this resulted more pain and joy for me, which just excited me further. I thought it was time to give him even more pleasure so I added one of my hands too. While my lips and tongue were still pampering Mart, I made a circle with my thumb and index finger and grabbed his cock with them. I started to drive him crazy as I was moving my lips and fingers to the same rhythm – sometimes twisting the ring around him. But I enjoyed every moment to the full too – knowing whom I can taste nearly made me insane too, but I carried on. I always loved this kind of sex, but I barely could seize with whom I was doing this! Now the control was mine and I was enjoying the situation! It seemed that my plan had worked, cuz he was moaning louder with every minute and he grabbed my tufts even wilder, which caused me more pain, but I didn’t care about this little nothing. Now HE mattered only. He flooded the room with his hell-bent groans then suddenly he said:

“God… you’re doing this fucking great! I think… I’ll cum into your mouth in a sec!”

I playfully licked him along from the bottom to his tip while my mouth curved into a little smile as I was looking straight into his eyes. “It’s up to you how you want it…” I left him with my lips for a moment, but my fingers were still sliding on him.

An animalistic groan was his answer so I bent my head with a smile. My lips joined my fingers and my teeth had their work too. My tongue was playing with him and my fingers were moving on him mercilessly. I couldn’t play for too long: after two enormous groan - a “nearly” and a “now” – I could feel him shooting. Martin Gore straight into my mouth! This was more than anything I’d imagined. An enormous wave of pride swept through me. Martin said that I was fantastic and this compliment meant more than anything at that moment. I licked every remained drop from his wonderful cock.

After it I sat up grinning and looked at him, who was still enjoying the last backwashes of his pleasure then he lifted his piercing eyes on me.

“It’s your turn” I winked.

“You’re maddening!” he moaned “I barely came back. I’m still under your previous action’s charm and you want a return mach from me?” he was looking at the ceiling still panting a bit.

“So you wouldn’t be able to entertain me? Well, well, Martin Gore can’t fulfill a woman’s demand?” I looked at him in ‘disbelief’.

“After this?” he grunted grinning and stroked along my swollen lips while he sat up.

“Well, you had your piece of cake – I deserve something too!”

“Alright, but just to see how nice I am although I’m just a star…” he shrugged smiling then stood up to offer me his hand “But we should continue it in the bedroom, not in front of the door…”

I accepted the offer with a smile and slid my hand into Martin’s. He pulled me close to him so I could feel his hardness pressed against my groin. We smiled at each other then walked into the bedroom. I followed him readily – my whole body shaking in anticipation again, knowing what’ll wait for me in the next few minutes…

Curly gently laid me down onto the double bed and leant over me for more kisses. Of course I answered his call. He attacked my lips with passion, which I didn’t mind. His hands discovered my butt again. It was unbelievable what he did to me! I just couldn’t get enough of him – with his body and with the feelings he awakened in me. He was still kissing me when his right hand found my clit again. I embraced him contended then moaned loudly and pulled him even closer.

“I want it with your mouth” I said impatiently, cuz he was able to turn me on within a moment. I though that my body’d give up soon from this unbelievable man, but nooo! It was enjoying it very much what Mart’s body was doing to it…

“Keep it easy, I planned it that way, but don’t be impatient!” he said, but hasn’t stopped kissing my neck. He was going downwards painfully slowly… Oh come on! – I moaned inside, this slow torture was killing me! I was prancing under Mart still impatiently.

“Calm down, kitty, prancing won’t help me to get between your legs sooner…” he sighed onto my breasts while his hand was playing an evil game between my thighs.

“All right…” I panted, letting him do it as he wished. I haven’t got the strength to give him a keen answer. “You drive me crazy!” I moaned when he bit me.

He laughed shortly then continued his torture, but he reached only my breasts yet. First he sucked them softly then he licked, sucked, bit and grabbed harder. From this wonderful feeling I started to sigh. This corrupt angel was stimulating my body so skillfully! I couldn’t stop myself and started to scratch his nape as my body was waiting for his kisses to go deeper. As I was floating in my pleasure, I unwillingly opened my legs wider and lifted my hips a few times to feel his naked skin. I nearly went insane again when I realized who was leaning over me like this! Finally Martin decided to stop my torture and his lips went deeper, until he got into position. I moaned such a big one from his passionate tongue-moves that he lifted his eyebrow.

“Does it hurt, baby?”

“No-hoo… Nooo…”

“All right… I’ve started to worry that I’m doing something wrong here…” he licked playfully the edge of his lips and I thought I’d die there from this… With his famous grin he returned to his work to continue it. I did the same: I was moaning again. But I could do this only for a minute, cuz after it I can’t remember what I was doing – probably I was screaming, probably his name or I hope so, cuz sometimes it’s not easy to remember these things…

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and through my cloudy mind I’ve heard Dave’s voice. I wouldn’t have been able to react for his calling. I was sure that he’d heard as I moaned or screamed Martin’s name. But it didn’t matter – for solving the problem I had all my hopes in Curly, who looked towards the door for a moment.

“What do you want, Dave? What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem, but you have to come immediately. Can I come in?”

“Well, I don’t really know… We aren’t too presentable, if you know what I mean…”

“Are you kidding, Martin? I’ve seen you both naked! Let me in.”

“Right now?” I moaned loosing my mind, because Martin leant back to me and licked my clit a few more times “What’s so fucking important?!”

“Martin, it’s the Hungarian staff. I can’t find Fletch and there’s something with the lights – exactly one and a half hour before the concert… There’s no fucking power in the half city and the backup generators are far from enough for such a big show. So we need you and no one else here! If you think I can decide it alone, but you know these things better. We need to solve this, or else the Hungarian fans’ will tear everything apart if they didn’t get us!”

“Oh, how true” I muttered silently under my nose in Hungarian while at least I tried to get into my lingerie.

“Are you coming out or should I go in, Marty? What do you say?”

“Come in then…” stood Mart up, pulling up his boxer and jeans. He stepped to the door and unlocked it. At this time I managed to get some clothes on me – even though not all of them. As Dave stepped in, he had an ear to ear smile. I was glad that at least he was having his fun. Martin picked up a T-shirt and his cell phone then stormed out of the room. Dave sat down opposite the couch where I was getting dressed and looked at me still grinning, but annoyingly he didn’t say a word…


	6. Chapter 6

6.

 

I sat down onto the couch, showing my back to him. I wasn’t in the mood to look into Dave’s blithe eyes now. I didn’t want to hear his pervert comments… or did I want it? I think I was a “bit” edgy because we needed to stop with Martin, that he needed to send away my skilled little angel. I still felt the tension in my body and wanted him to come back and finish what he’d started. My mind was racing like mad because I was unseated. If I think… maybe Dave could give me a helping hand in this if I asked him, but no, I won’t go down that road!

It wasn’t necessary to ask him – suddenly I felt two warm hands on my shoulders. I looked up into the green cat-like eyes as he was standing behind me – I nearly died from this sight! If someone should describe and illustrate what libido is, it’d be enough just snapping a photo of his momentary gaze as he was watching me…

“What’s up, Dave? What do you want?” I asked not on my nicest tone.

“Well, you can surely guess it!”

“David, maybe… Ah, nothing… Of course I can guess it, I just start to feel myself like a… you know, don’t you?”

“I think I know what you mean. Don’t think that we think about you anything bad! And it can’t be wrong wanting you, can it? Or should I sing ‘Freelove’ to you?”

“If you’d be so kind, I think that’d turn me on – particularly if you’d caress me meanwhile” I said smiling. I couldn’t do against it – it was impossible to be mad at him! He’s a nice knave, that’s for sure! He started to sing quietly and his hand moved down on my back…

“You’re a sly dog, Dave…” I noted in a much softer tone when his fingers reached the hem of my T-shirt, which I’d put on just a few minutes ago. I followed my singer’s gaze: my tits showed him squarely that my body liked the soft touches.

“How and what do you want?” he licked his lips for a moment.

“Everything and right now!”

“Hmm… this was quite clean-cut” he pulled my T-shirt over my head.

“Are you kidding? I’m sure you know what you’d interrupted!” I knelt up on the sofa and pulled him to me by his T-shirt so he nearly fell on me, which wouldn’t have been a big problem of course, but he propped himself and offered his beautifully full lips for me, which I attacked right away. While I was kissing him, I pushed him down onto the couch without thinking and sat into his lap. I was kissing him like mad, which he didn’t mind at all. I let my hands wander up on his back a few times. “I don’t need too much foreplay” I warned him.

“Uh-oh, someone is quite greedy here!” he grinned wider, because my hands had already opened his trousers.

“If someone interrupts me in such a situation, I can be really crabby and selfish…” I licked along his throat, but he took my breath away immediately when his fingers got under my panties. He has really long fingers – and how snappy they are! It was insane – I nearly fell off of his lap. I moaned again to show him how much I liked what he was doing with his fantastic hand. My hips moved again and again, while I was enjoying the pampering – or torture - with closed eyes. While he was working with his hands, his mouth wasn’t resting either. He kissed me wherever he was able to do so. He got more and more excited too – sitting on his lap I could feel that he wanted to continue what he’d just started. I began to move on his thighs – I turned him on with my body and stroked his legs and groin. He moaned too and laid me down on the couch…

I let myself go and allowed him to get rid off my panties too. He just needed to stroke along my inner thigh and I opened my legs immediately to let him nearer. But for now just his hand touched me again while he leant over me to look into my eyes. I bit my lower lip and looked back. The silent question was there between us. From the possibility that he can pamper me the way Mart did… that he can finish what the blonde one had started… From this possibility I felt another big wave of desire wash through me. I think my body lifted a bit for a moment too.

“Do you want me to…”

“Yes!” I interrupted him and started to push his head downwards, half-conscious “Quickly!”

“Jeez, I’m such a jerk…” he said grinning evil-like “so I interrupted THIS. I should make up for this mistake too… right?”

“Well… maybe you shouldn’t use your beautiful mouth for talking… Then maybe I’d forgive you…”

“For your forgiveness, everything…” he grinned at me then skipping all the prettiness he put his lips to the right place. I grabbed his hair as my eyes closed. First I couldn’t breathe from the feelings I felt – his wonderful tongue was playing with me skillfully and my hips moved with him. I really soon started the moaning part - the feeling which was caused by Martin returned. I stretched my hands above my head and grabbed the sofa’s armrest. My body lifted again and again from the joy I felt while Dave’s tongue and mouth was working on me in a maddening way. When I felt that I had just seconds to go, I grabbed his hair firmly and pulled him away.

“How do you want it? Do you want to have what I can give you, or you want this to be only about me?” I asked gasping for air.

Suddenly his cell phone started to ring. He rolled his eyes sighing and tried to find it in his trousers which were lying on the floor. How strange – every friend of mine has Depeche as a ringtone, but his was something else… Of course meanwhile I didn’t leave him alone, not allowing him to speak calmly. Instead of ‘hallo’ he started the phone call with a big moan. On the other side I could hear loud laughter then there was Mart’s voice – he was still giggling. I could see him grinning gloatingly.

“What’s up you leading man? Did I disturb your rehearsal? Or maybe you weren’t doing the voice training?”

“Jeeez, don’t do this to me!!!” I pleaded for the second time “I really can’t believe this!”

Dave grinned and stopped my working hand on him then he pushed me back to the couch with one hand. How strong he is, I thought, but every other thought left me when he reached between my legs with his free hand. My body tensed again and I thought I’d die if nothing was going to happen.

Meanwhile our favourite singer was holding his phone to his ear and answered Mart grinning, his fingers moving quickly on me. “No, it’s nothing, something just pinched me” he said in a laughing voice while he was watching me “Why did you call?”

“Dave, my dear friend, you have one hour to get to the arena. You have to, if we want to start in time. You are skilled enough – I know – to take care of your pinched member. Some cramp snapped it, right?”

“Jez, Mart! Really! Leave us alone and give us some time. The Moor does his duty and then the Moor can go. If they let him go…” he added grinning, because I grabbed both of his hands and pulled him over me. He hung up and leant to me “Did you pray, Desdemona?”

“Of course! Just come!” I claimed greedily, nearly whining “I don’t care how you do me – you can even rape me, just do it!!!”

“You want me to rape you? Is this your fantasy? You want me to do it? You struggling helplessly in my grip, me flooring you and making you mine with wild brutality? Over and over again?”

“Yes, yes” I moaned “Do this to me, please.”

“Hey, you want me to be the bad guy again? I’m not like that – there’s a soft hart beating in this hard chest. Or should I be rather gently and kiss fragrant rose petals off of your body? One by one and really slowly?”

“Dave, you drive me crazy! Make me yours, now!”

“Hm, Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde?”

“Can I have both or by turns?”

“No, you can’t. Life always make you choose – which one do you want? Let me be the damper” he checked his watch “I think the first one would make you come faster.”

“Yes, give me the first one. But not because it’s faster. Rave, Dave, rave!”

“Asking the hurricane to sweep, destroying everything? Nah, come on!” he pulled on my hand painfully and grabbed my wrist so hard that I needed to scream “You do what I say, or you’re dead!”

“Be my Master, please!” I moaned loudly and let him do what he wanted to do.

Still holding my wrist he pushed me back onto the sofa, leant over me and panting loudly he forced my thighs open with his knees. This turned me on extremely – his wild look, the sheer manly power which enslaved me – I barely could hold myself. He didn’t let me move. Now he was lying between my legs with his whole body and with his free hand he grabbed me by my hip – he pulled me onto him and started to race. I think now I was screaming without a break as rapists’ victims usually do. I was laying there pinned to the couch and I could look just into his face. And his face was so different – frightening. This game turned him on extremely too, but I saw that he was empathizing this role play, not enjoying it. His gaze was cloudy from the wild passion and aside his panting I couldn’t hear anything. As his body was pushing against mine, I felt how very taut he was. Taut like barbed wire. It hurt. Really. But I was enjoying it beyond words. It was good… not to give myself in, because I wasn’t doing that – but to let things happen in his way. I was literally his slave. One of my wrists broke free, although I couldn’t remember if he was holding them captive or not, and I grabbed his hair firmly. I didn’t want to scratch his body before the concert.

My first orgasm hit me hard and without any warning! My body was pulsing during the painfully enjoyable pushes. I bent my head backwards and he sank his teeth into my neck. He was really raping me! And I… I loved it!! He didn’t stop! It never crossed his mind. And I felt the desire rising in my voluptuous body again, although the waves of my first climax were still echoing in me. He didn’t let me go! He thrusted into me with a great force over and over until I started to scream and moan again. I was screaming, he was groaning deep from his throat. And suddenly it was over.

He fell on me with his sweltering body and was panting like Thomas the little engine. His whole body was shaking, like mine. We were lying like this until we could get some more air into our lungs. Or hearts were beating in a wild pace, on his thick, muscular neck the artery was pulsing. It was so good that he was just lying on top of me, doing nothing and I could feel his scent, I could touch his statue-like body and I could see how much he liked what we had done to each other. Love is the most beautiful game, if someone plays it nicely. Was this nice? It was.

“Kitty, you kill me. I’ll have an acute heart attack right here. Feel how fast my heart is?” and he pulled my hand onto his chest. I felt it and I was just looking at him… into his eyes. He let me do so with a smile. He was caressing me. I wished I was dead right now and wouldn’t have to see the parting from him.

“To tell the truth you finished me off enough too!” I panted still fighting for air. My skin ached from the memories of the wild moves. I suspected that my skin turned red between my thighs. “But anyway, I don’t think it’d surprise you if I said: you were fantastic!” I smiled stroking his wet face then his back. My other hand was still over his beating heart. I couldn’t believe that I was able to live through this with him! “I want to die now!” I said my former thought out loud.

“I don’t want to die now. I want to live. It’s sweet from you saying this. So I’m important to you?”

“Are you kidding? You always were” I shrugged with a half-smile, while I stroked my fingers along his skull-tattoo.

“Always? How important am I for you, hmm? Am I important enough crying because of me? I don’t think so, cuz you love a dream, not me. You don’t know me – how could you love me?”

“And why would it be wrong that you had been there for me as a dream? Why is it wrong that I had someone to think of, that I had someone to turn to when I was alone? I know very well that I don’t know you. How could I know you for real? We just met today for the first time. And the previous thing we’d done is a good proof that I don’t know myself completely either” I shrugged again, smiling faintly and stroking his face “But of course being a fan of yours hasn’t affected me in the wrong way, I think. As DM you’re a special part of my life. Kind of a shelter. This is why your music, you are so important to me. It’s not like I’m in love with you two. No, I think I’m more rational than this. I live my own life in the real world, doing my job, I’m with people, I go out. Everything goes normally, but deep inside here” now I pulled his hand over my heart “there’s a space, which is only yours. Very few people were able to have such a place in my heart. I love you because of this. I’m sure you don’t have the slightest idea what this day means to me. Usually I don’t speak about my feelings” I caressed his hand, which was resting on my chest “But… I wanted to tell you this. Although” I smiled wider “I’d never thought that I’d do this in such a situation, or that these inner thoughts’d eventually leave my mouth one day, but it was good to say them. And… thank you.”

“You know – among others – this is why I love doing my job. I feel loved. Now I know that I’m loved. It’s a good thing, you know, to be loved. I don’t know what you find in me – I mean I do everything on stage and in the studio, I’m a damned perfectionist, trying to give my best – maybe with some results – but I always drive the guys insane with this. However I’m always harder to myself than to anyone else. Don’t think that it’s easy to be with me – I’m kinda obsessive. Thank you for loving me – I’d lie if I said it didn’t please me to hear it – but believe me: it’ll hurt. See, you are already crying.”

“David, I’m just happy. I don’t want anything… ‘you can’t lose what you haven’t got’…”

“How true… you can’t lose it, you can’t lose me. I’ll sing for you. Come here, let me hug you, you big fan!”


	7. Chapter 7

7.

I giggled and embraced him happily. I was glad that he shared this much about himself. He really meant a lot to me – and he was hugging me. I wanted this moment to last forever, but I wasn’t too sad when it came to an end. I knew this was meant to be. I caressed his face once more then I kissed him softly.

“I think it’s time we go now. I bet Martin is sitting on horns now” I smiled at him after he wiped away the two teardrops from my eyes “And I think it’d be great to find a stylist or I don’t know, who can give me some clothes, cuz I think my shirt was torn apart by Martin…”

“Come to my room, I give you a T-shirt and call a dogbody to find something for you.”

“Dave, I can’t go like this.”

“Okay then…” he pulled his T-shirt over his head “Put this on. I bet fewer people’d notice me half-naked than you.”

“Me thinks, you’re wrong” I grinned “Anyhow you’re a bigger show than me.”

“But I won’t go against the law with it. In New York you can end up in jail if you go out to the corridor like this. I’m not kidding – Martin spent a night in jail in Denver, cuz he was running up and down half-naked at 4 in the morning. Added to which he was drunk and was singing too. Come, come, you can take a shower in my room too.”

“Okay, I’m coming” I grinned and put on the black T-shirt, which was of course way too big for me, but rather this than walking half-naked on the corridors… I took my bra and torn-apart shirt into one hand after I got into my trousers and sandals. Of course I sniffed Dave’s T-shirt a few times. “Hey, do you love this T-shirt?” I asked when we’ve already left my “rape’s” scene aka Martin’s room.

“I like it, but I have dozens of other black ones. Why? Do you want it?”

“Well I’d be happy if I could keep it – just to remember these few happy hours.”

“You don’t have to continue, it’s yours, Kitty! If you’d know how many of my T-shirts had ended the same fate… Would it be cheeky from me keeping your panties in return? You know, I collect panties from around the world passionately… and I don’t have a Hungarian one yet!” said Dave with a wide grin and a wink. He was looking at me, waiting for my answer, but I could just giggle the way he said this. This gave him another idea: now there was a fake begging expression on his face and he put his hands together as if he was praying… He was so sweet, I couldn’t stop gigglimg again!

“Okay, honey, you can keep it” I said finally “But hide it well.”

“I will” he smiled at me.

“And when do you want to get it? Before or after the concert?” I continued the game.

“Dave, Dave!” we heard a male voice from behind. He was running towards us – he was someone from the crew. We stopped and my favourite singer looked at him questioningly, waiting for the guy to speak, but he was eying me.

“Don’t stare at the lady, Tom, she’s with me.”

“Uh, sorry, I didn’t mean it, but she’s in your T-shirt.”

“I gave it to her.”

“Uh, I see.”

“You came quite in a hurry.”

“Oh, yeah. You have to go to the concert immediately – Mart’s already there. We don’t have enough time for another full sound check, but we have some problems with the adjustments – they’re working on it, but we need you for your mic obviously…”

“Okay, I’m going. Call Phoebe to bring something hot from her clothes, I think they have the same size with this young lady, who’ll sing with us.”

“What? Dave? I don’t think I’ve heard it right!”

“Tom, who am I?”

“The front man, of course, I get it, right away, sorry” and while he ran away he was still shaking his head.

I was just standing there and looking at him. Dave wasn’t pushy, but with his steadiness he showed Tom’s place. “Something hot?” I asked him.

“Hot, of course! You’ll sing for me, baby! I need to look hot too, right?”

“Yeah, but you always got rid off those clothes on stage!”

“Haha, yes, and you are drooling there and screaming what else should I take off too! Not to mention the bras and panties on stage and the kinky proposals on the banners… Uh-oh, you’re bad!”

“Well… we girls are like this…” I looked at him playfully, the tip of my tongue pointing at him.

“Come on, you have 5 minutes to have a shower and get dressed. We fucked up our time. Come, come!”

I followed him still grinning then because we were in a lack of time, we took the shower together in record time. He stole a few kisses, but then we finally got out of the bathroom. The dress was already lying on the bed. I raised my eyebrows as I held it in front of me. While Dave got dressed, he was watching my reaction with a smile.

“What? You don’t like it?”

“Well… usually I don’t wear such stuff, that’s for sure…” I eyed the dress, which was made of an elegant and deep-grey material. When the light reached it from a different angle, it was glistening in other colours too. But I didn’t have anything against the texture, but the cutting… I was more like a sporty girl by dressing and the deep décolleté was unusual for me, just like the fact that the dress let my back nearly totally bare. I had no idea what’d keep it on me. I was deadly sure that its prize was much higher than my half-year salary all together…. “I should wear this tonight?”

“It seems so. Are you putting it on, or will you come in this towel?”

“Of course, I get in it quickly. The make up, my hair and stuff?”

“When we get there and now come! Sorry, from now on I’m in another mode – I’m not an ass, but I’ll sing, I’m concentrating on this, this is why I won’t be able to pay attention on you, I’m sorry. Let’s go!”

Because the dress was quite revealing, I could get into it soon and I was already hurrying next to Dave, who of course eyed me once from head to toe and this made me wear this “something” proudly. My insecurity faded away momentarily. But when we got closer to the Puskas stadium, where I’d been with the guys once today, I started to worry again. I’ll mess it up. It’ll be a total disaster for me in front of 40.000 people! And what’ll think the Hungarian fans? I assume Dave’ll tell them my name or he’ll make some comments about who I am and what I was doing there… Unbelievable! This was the last thing I thought possible, when I stepped out of my flat this morning… I started to panic – although just my shaking hands showed this, which were resting on my thighs as we were sitting in the car. Dave really immersed into his own thoughts – I couldn’t hear a word from him. And I was just sitting there with the raging panic inside of me. What’s now? I can take anything, but I can’t let Mart and Dave down with not coming up to their expectations. They took an enormous risk when they’ve decided to put such an amateur like me into they sanctuary. But obviously they saw something in me, I must trust myself!

“Come on, we’re here!” called me Dave nicely when he saw that I was miles away “No need to jitter!’

I laughed shortly “Hah, it’s easy for you to say…” I noted following him out of the car. For a moment I wondered how many people were running around us with serious expression. Tom from earlier came to us again, nearly running.

“Hurry Dave, calm Martin down, he’s ramping. Usually he doesn’t do this – I really don’t know what’s with him, cuz although it wasn’t easy, we fixed things.”

“Great – I expected this. I don’t want another Kansas! Come on, baby, now we go and calm the genie! Probably there’s nothing wrong with him, just the usual mortal fear before the concert.”

“I’ve never thought that concerts make such great demands on you. You are so natural and professional on stage.”

“Of course, but there’s a lot of work behind that natural attitude. By the way it seems easy just from the outside, inside I nearly explode every night. Concerts get out a lot of energy of me – I’m really tired after them. Those two hours are like working all week along. Look, here he is…”

And then I saw Martin, who was leaning against the wall with a pale face and was muttering something under his nose.

“Holy crow, who made a demon of you Dave? Don’t you want wings too? Although I can’t se a halo around your head, but you seem to drift in the air.”

Dave stepped closer to the blonde musician then asked him to sit and gave a glass of water into his hand, while he was speaking to him quietly. I couldn’t hear what he said, but after a few minutes Martin seemed a bit calmer. Then Dave stood up and looked at me.

“Take care of him” he said and vanished.

I was standing next to Mart, but had no idea what I should do. I felt a bit lost in such a posh dress, with my shaking stomach and with a clearly crocked Martin L. Gore by my side.

“Are you feeling better?” I asked quietly “What happened?”

He lifted his green eyes at me and nodded. “I was a bit nervous when it turned out that everything collapsed right before the concert” he said quietly. I nodded. This wasn’t an annoying situation, but a scary one. I’d have dread myself in such a situation, not knowing if the staff could fix the damage. I’m not surprised that sometimes the guys can’t take it anymore.

“Uhm, Martin… Can I have some technical questions?” I knelt in front of him, putting my elbows onto his knees. Of course in my lightheadedness I totally forgot that the dress showed quite a lot of me.

“Of course” he nodded again while he softly put his hand onto my right arm.

“You know, I’m a ‘bit’ excited… Well… I know that singers usually are practicing before singing, or dunno. Shouldn’t I do the same to warm up my voice? And by the way what’s the set list? How they come after each other? And it’s not clear to me where and what I should sing. Will this on the projectors, or what? And why must I do this? What did you see in me?” I rattled out with one breath.

“I give you the set list, but naturally you’ll see them on the projector in front of you. Otherwise it seemed on the sound check that you recognize the songs from the first tunes then you smile happily and you start to sing them right away. You were so cute. We saw this in you – the love of our music. You sang with such devotion like Dave does. You know, he takes his work bloody serious, he’s obsessed with it – beware he’s a maniac” he grinned at me “This music can mean a lot to you.”

“The music and you. I love you two very much” the truth-telling side of me bursted out of me and I put my hand on my lips.

“You see” he took both of my hands into his “we knew this, we could see this on you. Don’t shake like a leaf! Haha, well, look who’s saying this! I still have a stage fright after all those years. My voice still shakes. You’ll practice scales with Dave anon. Do you know ‘Mary’s little lamb’? It’s David’s favourite. He always sings it to Rosie and he likes to warm up with that. And don’t be afraid, he’ll lead you on the stage, just let yourself go and let him lead you. He knows what he’s doing – he’s a bloody professional.”

“Mary’s little lamb?” I asked back. I barely could hide my smile “Well okay, I know that both of you are bloody professionals, you rock, but this is my first – and last – show with you and 40.000 fellow countrymen of mine… Because I’m at home here, they ‘know’ me here. This is… well making me a little nervous.”

“Don’t be afraid. If you’re not sure then try to think of something neutral. Or that you’re just watching one of our DVDs. Or look at us, or dunno…” he shrugged as he ran out of the ideas “Or drink something strong before it. Sometimes I do the same” he smiled.

“Oh yeah and then I won’t be able to stand straight” I smiled too “Or you can come to me to encourage me” I winked.

“I will” he smiled back again, stroking my right arm, which was still resting on his knee.

“Well, kids, the romance is over. I’m sorry that I must interrupt you again, but it’s time! Our rescue angel comes with me now and we warm up our voices” said the singer who came along the corridor with his lithe steps. There’s no doubt, he’s a real panther. This is sure now, I thought. “Come on, kitty, let’s sing!”

“With you? Hold me cuz I’ll faint right now! DAVID! David, I love your voice! And I’ll hide in shame standing next to you, cuz your voice has no match!”

“Hey, kitty, praising me right into my face? Thank you, I appreciate that, but now we’re going. I help you to switch into the professional mode” and he pushed a tuning-fork into my hand. I looked at him with big eyes.

“Don’t think I’m stupid. I know what this is for, but what should I do with it? I’m a total beginner here” I looked at him embarrassed. I’m sure I looked like an idiot in my fancy dress, standing there without a clue, a tuning-fork in my hand.

“It helps you to set your voice. Wait, I do it, let’s go to my dressing room – although the acoustic isn’t that good there.”

“Dave, I’m really scared…”

“It’s natural, kitty. Relax. Everything’ll be fine” he closed the door behind us. I was still grabbing that silly tuning-fork and my expression must have turned more desperate, cuz Dave came over to me and took my face between his hands. “I’m scared too. Every night when I stand there. Try to get over it. Try to pay attention just on us if you’re scared. But this is a natural reaction. Believe me, you’ll get the run of it.”

“But…”

“There’s no ‘but’…” he stroked my face with his thumbs “Can we start? After it we must hurry to let our make up done – she’ll do something with your hair too.”

It was nice from Dave that he tried to calm me, but inside of me it was as if I was preparing for my death. I wanted to die! I didn’t want to go out there! But I had to. For the guys, for them. I looked back at Dave with a pale and white face.

Then finally we’d started the warm up – although I’m not sure how Dave could drew me on to do it. Just like I wasn’t sure how they could make me do this whole thing. Instead of screaming out there in the crowd, now I’ll be a part of this insanity. Unbelievable!


	8. Chapter 8

8.

 

Relax, relax! I can do it! You know the music. You know the lyrics. You know the guys. You know how does a Mode concert looks like! Relax! But ooooh!!! 40,000 people!!! Okay, okay. Take it easy! Breathe! Breathe!! – I encouraged myself with thousands of similar thoughts when we were ready with the make up and everything else. We were standing there in the half-light of the stage. The familiar staff was telling jokes, speaking in concentration or running around. I felt myself like an outsider. It was clear for me that I didn’t belong there. I was never a part of this and I won’t ever either. I’m just a little glitter on Depeche Mode’s gigantic and shining show dress and I’ll get lost in the night soon.

I felt dizzy and my stomach was jumping up and down. No, no, no. I won’t puke! I felt myself terrible and in the same time I still couldn’t believe that I was there. It was creepy to know that tonight I’ll step onto this very stage too. I felt a hand on my shoulder, cuz I was burning a hole into the ground with my gaze in the last ten minutes. It was Martin, but Dave came too. He was jumping, warming up, clapping with his hands. It was as if he wanted to run the marathon instead of singing. But of course it is like a marathon for him.

“Look at me!” said Mart “Can you see the mic on that little podium behind Dave’s mic? Well, that’s yours. You’ll see the projector clearly from there. And every move of Dave’s. He’ll lead you - you’ll see as he waves with his eyes for the vocals. But you know where you must step in with your voice. Let Dave do whatever he wants to do with you, follow what he asks – no matter what it might be. If he asks you to jump into the crowd, then do that. It’s really important that here he’s the leader! Understood?”

“Yes, Martin, I understood” I followed him “We already practiced for this in the afternoon.”

Dave walked to us. Both of them hugged me as they were standing by my side and were encouraging me. It was as if I had stepped out of my body and had seen myself and them from the outside. I’ve heard Mart speaking but I couldn’t understand what he was saying – I was in a trance. But I saw the Darkest Star heading for the stage and from the steps he waved for me to follow him. And I did follow him. It was dark on the stage. My hair was standing on its end as the audience’s clapping and screaming hit me. As I took my place I looked into the darkness and I saw thousands of luminous screens of photo machines and phones. It was as if the stars had come down to earth for tonight. I looked around on the stage. I memorized Andy, Peter, Christian, Martin and Dave, who hurried on stage in that moment. The audience rumbled. My skin broke out in goose bumps again. I turned away from the mic to clear my throat so I could keep my voice from huskiness. I knew that it’ll shake in the beginning, but I was hoping that everything’s gonna turn out right. The lights flashed. Earsplitting clapping. The Intro. There was no turning back now…

My brain switched off. I couldn’t hear the crowd or anything else. It was quiet – totally quiet. This somehow calmed me. It’s funny what our brain can do in stress-situations. I could se only Dave. He bowed and before I could panic in this big silence that I went deaf, I heard the crowd’s screaming. And it hadn’t included my screams, I was here. I could hear the first tones of the music and could see as Dave grabbed his own mic-stand, I could hear him starting singing and the chorus was here soon. Dave waved to me…

I hadn’t had the time to screw it up. I just needed to read the first two words from the projector, from there I knew it by my heart. The song drifted me away. I was still nervous a bit, but at least my voice hadn’t failed me. It was shaking just a bit, but it was barely noticeable. Maybe I just imagined it. Everything was fine, everything seemed somehow so natural. Cuz I see them on stage every day, I know their every moves. At the end of the second song Dave started to speak into the microphone.

“Good evening Budapest!!!”

He screamed into the mic then the concert went on. Thank God, from the lights I barely could see the audience – this way it was easier to stand there, not looking directly into the eyes of 40,000 people. I recognized the songs from the first tunes, so there was no problem with the lyrics either. It went better than I’ve imagined. I can do this, I’m a natural on stage, I’ll be the biggest diva of show business, I joked to myself between two songs.

Meanwhile Dave’d introduced Martin and the other and waved me to him and announced for the fans who I was – a do-gooder who’d helped them in a difficult situation and whom they warmed to – sure enough! And because I’m their big fan, they’ve surprised me with this. He asked me to speak in Hungarian to the fans, which I did. I’ve told them how much the guys meant to me and how strange it was standing on the other side now. There was an enormous ovation. Dave embraced my shoulder and said that the big surprise is just coming now! A roadie ran to us with a paper and Mart’s guitar then they started to sing and Dave showed me to sing along. It was a Hungarian folk song, which Martin’d heard from Deep Forest and Martha Sebestyén… But at this time I was singing with tears running down my face…

I thought that my surprise was that I could sing with them on stage, but no! They were able to learn a Hungarian song in such a short time? For me??? I couldn’t get it. The make up on my face was ruined by my tears, but I didn’t care. I was just watching them and clung to Dave desperately. Martin was playing on his guitar by my other side. I was totally out of my mind. I sensed the enormous frenzy just at the edge of my mind. After a while I wasn’t able to sing, because my voice failed me completely so I was just smiling and crying. Unbelievable! They had no idea what a grandiose present they gave me on the best day of my life! The crowd went totally crazy and I’m sure that many faces were glistening from tears. It was a real honor for them and for every Hungarian people. After the song Martin grabbed the mic and said:

“This was for all that love you’d given to us during the past years!”

The audience raved. Martin’s words were returned with an even bigger ovation. Dave was just watching the waving mass for a long while, as they were all clapping and reaching towards the stage. The view shocked me.

After the concert slowly reached its end I watched the sea of hands waving by ‘Never let me down again’ with a little sadness and immense emotion. As my last coming out at the end I sang with Martin the lines “See the stars, they’re shining bright, Everything’s alright tonight”. And I really felt this way. Tonight everything seemed so right despite its every moving singularity and bizarreness. I thought that I’ve reached the highest point of my life. Every moment was burned into my mind and no one ever will be able to take this away from me. I suspected that if I can make it, I’ll tell this story even for my grandchildren. I sang the end with a broad smile, looking at Martin, then I’ve left the stage – “Goodnight Lovers” came, which was the closing song after “Insight” again to let the audience calm down a bit. I was watching the boys from the edge of the stage – I was mesmerized by the special connection between DM and its fans. Why wouldn’t I cry from this too? It was beautiful.

I didn’t wait until they’ve finished – I slid away to change back to my own clothes. This ‘hot’ piece of clothes was nice too, but uncomfortable for me. I sat down in Dave’s dressing room and was waiting for them to return. I was waiting, not knowing what now’ll come. Maybe I should go home so I won’t let the magic break? Maybe. But I can’t leave them here without a thank you. They gave us everything they had, the channels between them and the fans were open and love could stream freely.

Soon the boys appeared, but before I could say anything, Dave embraced my waist and said “You were very good! We must celebrate this!” he laughed.

I smiled and I was happy that this crazy day won’t end yet. I would have felt sorry if they said it was over, although I had no clue whether my troubled soul would have been able to take anything else during that night. I was totally hacked off, but I was happy at the same time. I hugged first Dave then Martin, my arms around them. “Thank you for everything” I whispered moved. I was still under the concert’s effect. Maybe one day I’ll write them a letter and will tell them what this day with them had meant to me. But maybe this letter will stay forever in my drawer…

“Come on, kitty, you and the fans deserved this. You were really great. I liked your voice and as you brought new things into the vocals” looked the blonde guy at me with a smile.

Meanwhile Dave sat down onto an armchair with a towel in his neck and wiped the sweat off of his body, taking deep breaths. It was clear that the concert sucked his energy out.

“Dave, do you want something to drink?” I asked.

“That’d be great. There’s Evian in the fridge, if you’d be so nice…”

“Of course” I answered and walked to the fridge “Mart, want a beer?”

“Two, please, I’m dehydrated. You should drink too, we need to refill the loss.”

I sat next to them and we drank like thirsty camels in the desert. After I had my own beer, I leant back contentedly and closed my eyes for a moment.

“What’s on your mind, little girl?” asked Dave, breaking the silence.

“You two, what else?”

“And in what kind of situation?” asked Martin this time in a kinky tone.

“Boys, after this night you do with me as you wish!” it slid out of my mouth. I saw that they looked at each other and grinned. Martin winked at me.

“How can we interpret this with Mart?” looked Dave at me and stroked my shoulder gently with his index finger.

I squinted at Mart and he returned my gaze. In that very moment I felt Dave’s eyes on me too. I understood the situation. No! This… I hardly could take it!

“No-hoo, I can’t believe this!” I yelled and stood up quickly, looking from Mart to Dave and back.

“What can’t you believe?” eyed me Dave.

“Well that… that you two… and with me…”

“Why? We did this today already, didn’t we?” said Dave.

“Well, yes, but until now just in solo-projects.”

“Exactly” said Mart too “And the emphasis is on that ‘until now’. Of course we won’t force you to do anything. Think it over. Until then go and have a shower and after that we go to the after party” he stood up and went to refresh himself.

“No, we won’t force you, really” stood up Dave too and handed me a towel “Take a shower, little girl!”

I obeyed and they’d left me alone. But my brain was still circulating around this topic! Why wouldn’t it when Dave Gahan and Martin L. Gore gave me the chance that they two would… This is unbelievable! This it the day of surprises and disbelief!

After I was ready, I got into borrowed black jeans and an indigo-blue slim shirt. Finally I was myself again, although I liked the dress I was wearing on stage. But there was no doubt that this dress was more comfy - and additionally my breasts stayed under the fabric for sure… I stepped out of the bathroom and walked to the waiting guys.

“We can go if you want to take me to some after party. But I’m okay with putting me out somewhere near my home” I smiled at them. I still couldn’t get it what they wanted from me.

“We take you out, you won’t have to do anything just sit there calmly” hugged me Mart from the back. Dave was standing in front of me with a big grin.

“Baby, after the solos here comes the real Depeche feeling. What would turn you on? Singing for you in Dolby Surround with Mart? Or something else? You’ve a rich fantasy – we were able to state this fact” he grinned at Mart too.

“Daughter of Fortune, we want to pamper you” whispered Martin into my ear.

“Sitting calmly when you are panting into my ear? You aren’t normal…” I noted shivering from their whispers while I danced out of their hands. No, no. You won’t have me that easily… at least yet. I’ll play with you a bit more, I thought as my crisp side took mastery over me.

“Is this new for you?’ asked Mart with a little disappointed face, because I’ve left them there.

“Telling the truth, it’s not. Well, are we going or what? I must always wait for you…” I stepped back to them and before I walked out of the room I gave a kiss first to the blonde one then after it for the singer.

And the two of them clogged between the door frames, cuz they wanted to follow me in the same time. They were so funny! We were all laughing, but when they’d managed to break free, they offered their arms from both sides. They wanted to play, they eyes were shining, cuz they were satisfied and happy, like little boys when their favourite team wins. I loved them. I wanted them.

\---

And this feeling got stronger in the club too. They were ordering the best booze one after the other, but they drank just a little, like me. I drank just that much what could prepare me for the experiences ahead of me. As I was sitting between them and they were talking to Christian, Anton, Andy and Kessler, their hands weren’t lazy. I felt both of his hands wandering on me. I had to concentrate really hard not to show anything on my face.

Dave’s hand began to slide upwards on my thigh and I started to take deeper breaths. Martin slid his hand downwards on my waist and his fingers could just get under my jeans from the back. I was wondering whether I’ll survive this night or will I die from joy? To suppress my quiet sights and wet my lips I sipped a big one from my drink, but I nearly choked when Dave’s hand started stroking me through my trousers.

“Are you all right?” asked Christian with a barely noticeable German accent.

“Yes, of course, I just swallowed the wrong way” I answered hoarsely and I needed to bite down my lip not to give out another effect as the two hands continued stroking me without any shame. I felt my pulse getting faster and faster and I started to blush. But they didn’t stop! Definitely Dave wanted to kill me. On the surface he was chatting freely with Christian – drink in one hand, and ‘something’ else in the other… He hustled with his fingers until I felt their hot touches on my naked skin as they reached under my panties. I sighed deeply again.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Andy, but I could see on his half-smile that he knew what was going on here. And then it suddenly hit me that probably everyone knew what the guys were doing, but everyone pretended that speaking about the advantages of Gibson guitars was the most important thing in the world. Because Martin defended this brand vehemently – he knew why. But his hand – oh his hand back there… I knew that if we don’t go to one of their rooms, I’ll wallow on the top of the table after one or two minutes. I started to squirm and tried to stand up, but Dave’s other hand pushed me back onto the chair.

“Of course… I’m fine, I’m just tired” I answered Andy’s question, continuing the pretending – it seemed that everyone here was a professional of it. If I wasn’t able to catch Andy’s smile earlier, then maybe I would have never noticed it. But now it started bugging me that all five men knew what Mart and Dave were doing to me under the table. Suppressing my desires I tried to pull myself together – and here we should confess that it wasn’t easy because of these two guys, who tried to reach exactly the opposite effect on me.

With my left hand I reached under the table and stopped Dave’s hand, while I looked at Mart. “Which one of you’ll offer me a room?” I whispered “Because I haven’t got enough money to take one.” I added with a half-smile.

“Go to the hall to make a phone call. I go after you in a minute” whispered Dave “And Mart’ll come after us to my room, okay?”

I nodded. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything else. I felt as they pulled their hands out of my trousers then Martin let me out. I said I needed to make a call and I said good bye to the others then I’ve left the bar, feeling the five men’s gaze on my back. There were quite a lot people there – chatting or dancing. But I needed to lean against one of the pillars in the hall and had to take deep breaths. I still felt their touches on me! And oh my god, what’ll come after this?!

I was standing there with the phone in my hand and I wasn’t able to really call anyone, cuz it seemed that I had an asthmatic rush from the anticipation. I pretended that I was texting to someone. After barely two minutes I’ve heard the sounds of keys by my ear as Dave was shaking them.

“Dave, I think you should grab a mic and after a ‘That’s right!’-yell you could announce to the guests in the middle of the hall what you’re planning to do for the rest of the night!”

“Alright, alright. They didn’t care and if those few VIP guests see us, it’s not our fault. I don’t like them – they are namby-pamby, flippant and shallow. We need you, who has life inside and don’t want to shine like a light bulb. That ‘Annie-someone’ is awful! Looking at her deformed face she should ask for medical help. I’m sure she’s in great pain” laughed David. (note: Imagine a blonde plastic-kitty here, who got laid by Mart in 2006.)

I laughed with him although my nervousness didn’t let me relax. “Yeah, I know who that is. I can’t imagine how Martin could let her jump on him last time. Seriously – are there such guys who really like these mock women? Or it doesn’t matter just want to lay someone down?” I lead myself on into this topic, cuz it always danced on my nerves.

“Yeah, when you’re enough drunk a quickie is a quickie. Just don’t get sober soon or don’t let her sleep there.”

“I guess you’re talking from experience…” I smiled at him putting my hands behind my back as I leant against the pillar “Not that it’d bother me or something like that…”

“It had occurred in the past, but not now. People are getting harder to please with age, although I can speak just in my own name, not in anyone else’s. But if you are just a little bit sober, you don’t do it. Rationality was never our strength. But come on, I tear you apart!”

After his serious line of thoughts his last sentence caused a laugh from me. “Can’t wait…” I was smiling still when we got into the elevator “And by the way how do you want it?” I asked, folding my hands in front of my chest.

“Let’s start with pulling your hands away from here, okay? Let me look at you. It’s nice looking at you.”

I was still smiling and let him put my hands anywhere he wanted “Did I tell you that you’re incredibly sweet when you speak to me on this tone?” I asked with shining eyes. He smiled but didn’t say a word.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

Finally we’ve got into the room. I stopped in the middle, he’d shot the door closed with his leg and asked me to walk to the bed and he sat into an armchair.

“Can I ask something from you?”

“Anything, David.”

“Please, strip for me!”

I smiled – I was always good at this.

“If I strip, I’ll need some music too, right?” I asked in a flirty way while I kicked off my shoes.

“Alright, I sing ‘Dirt’ with Martin.”

I lifted my gaze, cuz I didn’t notice when he’d joined us.

“It’ll do…” I looked at them smiling. Although my heart wanted to jump out of my chest, on the outside I seemed calm. The opportunity to dance for THEM turned me on crazily! I recalled the beginning of ‘Dirt’ and nodded to Dave’s questioning look. After a little stage fright I’ve started moving when Dave stepped in quietly with his low tone. I tried to move as excitedly as possible, while I’ve started unbuttoning my shirt.

Meanwhile Martin came to me and stopped right by my side. I could felt the heat of his breath as he breathed into my neck. Opposite me Dave started to strip too, slowly unbuttoning his trousers. It took my breath away – so this is the part which can’t be seen by fans – or just really few of them has this opportunity!

My whole body shivered in anticipation. That look as he eyed me, that sensual tone by my neck… My knees went weak, but I continued stripping for them, cuz they asked me for it. I showed them my back as I opened my shirt and let it slid down onto the floor. In my head I was following the song’s instrumental part and I’ve started rolling my hips to its rhythm. Martin caressed my butt then I turned back to them. First I turned to Martin and grabbed his shoulder with my left hand, riding their voices with my waving body. I nuzzled to him, but before he could go for my lips greedily, I leaned back a bit and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt to pull it over his head. He looked at me with a little smile. I took his hand in mine and led it to the button of my trousers, asking him to undo it. To torture him a bit more, I started to lick his neck. After a few kisses I looked at Dave, who was standing there with his open jeans and was examining us with a dark gaze from a few steps. I reached my right hand for him and he took it. I pulled his wonderful hand towards my waist where he finally grabbed my butt, standing half-way behind me.

I’ve started to feel myself like a delicious sandwich’s filling. Dave and Martin in the bun’s role - with me inside. Added to which one of them was biting me from the front, the other from the back. Martin wasn’t singing anymore – he was kissing me, just like Dave. He panted into my neck, holding my butt with one hand, and unpacking himself with the other one, cuz I’ve already felt his naked tummy against my waist. And a bit lower I felt that he was ready for the action. I was returning Martin’s kisses, while I felt Dave undoing my bra. They took it off me together. The brunette wonder reached forward with his hands to grab my breasts firmly. I moaned into Martin’s kiss, while I sneaked past his hand which was under my trousers by my hips, and I grabbed his belt to undo it, but before I managed to do so, I stroked him a few times through his jeans.

They were really turned up from this common action. They were working together in perfect harmony and it seemed that this thing had a certain choreography – their hands never crossed paths. I was wondering how many times they could have done this. But this wasn’t the point. Now the most important thing was that they were doing it with ME! Both of them at the same time! I shivered from this thought again and they didn’t fail to notice it. Probably Dave looked into Mart’s eyes over my head, because after Curly finished his kiss, he immediately leant to one of my breasts which was offered by Dave, and started to suck on my hard nipple. My upper body leant a bit backwards until it was lightly pressed against Dave’s chest, and I propped my head on his shoulder.

And Dave didn’t wait any longer, with one of his hands he caressed my waist and pulled me onto him. Although my trousers were still half-way on me, it didn’t matter. Martin, seeing Dave’s action, knelt slowly in front of me… I moaned out loud when I felt Dave pushing up into me, my body tensing from the feeling. I pushed harder against his chest, while his caressing fingers found my breasts again. My sighs were more like moans now as he started to move gently in me with his wonderful hips. Meanwhile Martin got slowly rid off my pants and panties. I screamed when he planted his lips between my thighs and darted his tongue out.

I had no clue how much longer I would be able to stand on my legs. I was half-conscious. But Dave was not just embracing me, but he was holding me too with his strong arm and panted unstoppable. My body nearly cracked from what it was dealing with and Dave just went deeper and deeper. Martin opened my thighs a bit more to have more place. With my right hand I reached back and clung to Dave’s nape, while my hips followed their moves. My moans came without and end now.

“Oh my God!” I screamed from my heightened senses.

“Well, he’s not here. But we two are…” said Martin and leant back to me.

“Are you enjoying it, kitty?” moaned the black wonder into my ears.

“How couldn’t… I enjoy it?!” I yelled faintly.

David laughed shortly then continued his “attack” against me with his hips, while he was squeezing my breasts or his hands slid down onto my tummy, avoiding Mart’s hand perfectly when he sometimes reached up. Curly’s other hand was holding my thigh right under my butt and was grabbing my flesh. When for a few moments I couldn’t feel his hands on me, I realised, that he was just pulling Dave’s trousers and boxer off of him, allowing him to move more freely. Something came into my mind, which I had been wondering about for a while now…

“You two… Did you two… sleep together yet?”

They went all silent and I was about to think that I was terribly wrong here, but then Dave said: “If you promise us that never, ever tell this to anyone…”

“David, I love you two so much, no matter what happens, I won’t tell it anyone, not even for my best friend. Even if I die, I won’t break my promise.”

“Well we’ll take care of this ‘dying part’ soon, and the answer for your question is: yes.”

I praised his sincerity with a moan, caressing his nape with my fingers and looking down at the grinning Martin. Knowing that these two…. It drove me totally crazy with lust! Oh my god, what had I’ve gotten in to?! But I couldn’t deny that these two demonic guys turned me on totally! I let out another loud moan when Martin went on with my pampering with his fingers.

“I’ll really die and then… then you wouldn’t have to worry about your secret… ah… But I’ve told you I wouldn’t say it… to a soul anyway….”

“It seems that it’s not a big secret” pressed Martin through his lips, cuz he had no intentions to stop what he was doing.

“Tell us, how did this came into your mind? No one had seen us, we’d decided this after a long conversation in a hotel room, we didn’t leap on each other, and we were really, really careful. If anyone says something like this, we can avoid it laughing, but if there was evidence or a witness, then everything’s over.”

“Will you kill me if I ask you to tell me?! It turns me on beyond words!”

“Uh, Dave, don’t start it” moaned Martin “because I, I don’t know what’ll happen!”

“What’s up, Gore? You can’t deal with your hormones?” he laughed silently then leant to my ear “How many details do you want?” he asked and bit down gently onto my earlobe then kissed it.

“The more details the more I’ll be grateful for you afterwards…” I whispered, turning back my head to him. I couldn’t stop myself; I needed to lick into his mouth, which he returned with a greedy kiss.

“Dave, I warn you once more! If you start it, we can call the room service to bring a candle to our lover, which she can hold, because I’ll jump on you!”

“Hmm… a little movie?” I giggled, but couldn’t say anything else when Mart’s fingers started to move more intensely “Dave, he tries to appease me!” I moaned “But you won’t let… him do it, right?”

“Come on, Martin, I’ll race you! Who can help our kitty into heaven sooner?”

“Okay” grinned Curly and he replaced his fingers with his mouth again.

“You… you… you really mean this?” I moaned louder when Dave’s hips started to move against my body harder.

“Totally” nodded Marin a big one “I just don’t know… What’s if it’ll be a drawn game?”

“What else: there’ll be a return match!” said David.

“Ohmygoddd!!!” I moaned hearing this.

“Then let’s go, Dave! Give our best!” I’ve heard from somewhere between my legs then Martin concentrated on his task again with his full attention.

Dave answered just with a growl then he started biting my neck – panting onto my skin time after time as he sank even deeper in me with his rock-hard cock. I’ve started screaming from the ‘emotional violence’ as they were stimulating my shaking body from both sides. My shoulder-blades were pressing harder against Dave’s chest as my back started to bow more and more, but my panther stood there like a rock and was besieging me slowly, driving me crazy.

I felt that Dave was really close now too. I felt his wild heart beats on my skin and his sweat was running down on my back. He had an incredible smell, I loved it! Once I’ll try to describe it, but now I wouldn’t be able to phrase it correctly. Martin slowed his pace a bit and tried to be thorough – this was his technique. And Dave… well he didn’t care anything else. I looked back at his face – his eyes were closed, his face showed ecstasy. My dear passionate David! I hadn’t got the time to think too much more, because after an especially wild circling my mind when blank and only my ecstasy and Dave had left for me, who entered the paradise too and was moaning now loudly into my back.

My sweaty and glistening body strained wildly and started to pulse because of my powerful orgasm. I moaned plaintively and loudly – or did I scream? I can’t remember, cuz I’ve heard nothing from the outside world. It was a fantastic feeling cumming between the two of them! Although Dave’d finished it, Martin’s work with his tongue helped a lot too. Curly looked up at me a bit disappointed, but managed to smile. I ran my fingers through his hair, while I closed my eyes and rested my head on Dave’s shoulder so I could calm my racing heart a bit. I inhaled the air greedily, which was full of his scent.

“UHUHUU, boys, I never before…”

“We hope so” they said in the same time and started to laugh, their eyes meeting. I could just guess what they were thinking.

“We should pamper the second prize winner, don’t you think?” whispered Dave into my ears so that Mart couldn’t hear it “Start it, I’ll be right back… and please stay on the front if it’s possible…” he grinned and disappeared in the bathroom gracefully.

I nodded unnoticeably and I’ve already missed him as he lid out of me. But a new situation was ahead of me now. I had a task! And with Curly, who was still kneeling in front of me and was watching me.

“Come on, stand up!” I asked him quietly and reached for his hand. He took them and stood up without a word. I nuzzled to him gently and could feel how the things have turned him on, but yet he wasn’t able to experience what we had with Dave. We needed to change it ASAP!

“Well… Dave won again…” he noted in a strange tone.

I put my index finger onto his mouth to silence him. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not important which one of you love me, I love both of you in the same way” I whispered leaning close to him as I put my hands into his neck.

“But…” he started.

‘There is no such think like ‘but’. Let me pamper you a bit” I sighed nearly into his mouth then without waiting for his answer I began kissing him.

His skilled tongue – which had been working on me not long ago – now slid into my mouth as he let himself into the kiss more and more. My hands slid his open trousers and underwear slowly down from his hips. He moaned into my mouth when one of my hands slid onto his semi-hard member. I knelt down and I wanted him to feel joy. First I took his family treasure carefully into my mouth and bit down on it softly then I continued it with quick and sudden movements. When he cried out, I slowed down just to start it over when he was able to breathe again. Dave was there again and sneaked into the room, putting his finger on his mouth, signaling me to be quiet. Then he sat slowly and fully naked into the armchair behind Martin. He put something onto the table, crossed his legs like he always does, but now – oh my god – without clothes and he showed me to continue what I was doing. I shivered when I looked into his eyes…

Then I continued it with closed eyes. I was sliding my mouth hard and passionate on Mart’s cock and let him put my hair away from my face, digging into it gently while he moaned towards the ceiling time after time. I looked up at him when I used again the thumb and index finger method on him. He was watching me with his green eyes from behind his half-closed lids.

“Why are you looking at me this way? Do you want to say something?”

“No” he moaned from my touches “I’m just watching you… it’s good to watch you during doing this to me… You’re doing this still… in a fantastic way! Please, go on…” he whispered stroking my face with his thumb.

“Of course I continue – anything you want” and I went on with more passion. I looked at David, who was still sitting in the armchair, but I wouldn’t say he was idle.

“Dave… where’s Dave?” moaned Curly with his head bent, moaning towards the ceiling. I blinked at the other guy, who was working on himself. I went crazy from the sight!!! For a moment I closed my eyes tightly, cuz I thought I’d die there, while Martin was enjoying my sucking on him with closed eyes too.

Dave stood up behind Mart’s back in his full grace and with his light walking he sneaked behind him. When I saw that he was there, I looked at him questioningly. He knelt next to me without a sound and by a turn he took it over. But we couldn’t fool Martin…

“Dave” he looked down at him with a little smile in the corner of his lips “I’m not a fool…” he noted running his fingers now in his hair, letting mine go.

“I know, but I love if I can play, you know.”

“Of course I know, Dave, this is your life. Playing. You are the ease and refinement and the wild monster itself – you decide which one you want.”

I was totally speechless kneeling next to them. I’ve never heard anything like this before. Martin looked down at Dave then suddenly his eyes were on fire too.

“What do you want now? How should we do it?”

“Don’t tell that you give me the control, Mr. Gahan?! I can’t believe to my ears” whispered Mart.

“I want you to never forget this night, I want to, I want to…”

“What, David?” knelt Mart down too.

Dave just shook his head and said shyly “I want you to love me…”

I sat back onto my heels shocked. This wasn’t about me now. This was something more than this and I was a lucky supporting actor. I was listening to their dialog with eyes wide open. My jaw was somewhere on the floor by the end of it and I was just watching them amazed as Martin stroked Dave’s face gently and he bent his head into his palm like a cat, closing his eyes half-way.

“You’re silly, Dave” he whispered softly “I always love you, you know it.”

“But…”

I never in my life had the chance to see Dave looking this puzzled and perplexedly. And now he was doing it as he was still looking into Mart’s eyes. It was an unbelievable sight as the two men were kneeling there opposite each other and were searching each others eyes. I was twisting a mop of my hair around my finger and was watching the scene without a sound. I wanted to know what this whole thing was about. I didn’t dare to move, cuz I didn’t want to break the magic. I would have never thought this. Well of course I had thoughts about these two guys together, but not like this, this… what should I say what this was between them? What was this strong bonding? It was clear to me that they forgot totally about me and they were observing those galaxies in each others eyes which just they could see.

“Martin, I…” wanted Dave to start, breaking the silence in the room, but his friend didn’t let him finish. He pressed his lips against Dave’s and I thought my eyes were playing with me! They – in front of me – kissing inwardly! I was surprised by Martin’s firmness as he was leading Dave, who always seemed to be the leader. He took the singer’s face between his hands and gave his kisses with unbelievable empathy, playing with Dave’s tongue. I felt that next to the shock this picture sent another hot wave to my groin. But I felt that I needed to wait until they call me to join the game – I didn’t want to disturb them in any meaning. Dave just blow my mind off, I couldn’t believe what I was watching: Martin, the panther-tamer, the beast-whisperer. I was just staring and staring at them. David broke the kiss and leant away from Mart just to bend his head slowly down. He seemed so lonely even in the middle of this much love. But it is said that loneliness is inside us. Many people, who are alone, never feel lonely, and there are people who are lonely even in a big family. Dave belonged to the latter ones. I think he could never get enough love – he was like a beaten dog. Although he’d found those people who loved him as he was, he still felt this way. My heart ached for him, because I loved him so much! It was bad to see him like this.

After this painful scenery I looked rather at Mart. As he sat back onto his heels, I saw that for a few minutes he had no clue what to do then he embraced Dave very carefully and softly. “Hey, come here!” he whispered into his ear. I was barely able to hear it. Practically Dave nestled himself onto Mart’s lap and bent his head onto his shoulder. “Tell me, what did you wanted to say earlier?” Mart asked, stroking gently his dark hair.

“Now it doesn’t matter, just embrace me!” he said quietly. So Curly put his arms around the naked body tighter. I was wondering whether these mood-shifts by Dave weren’t caused by some kind of depression? I think I’ve read about that he had or has something like that since he’d stopped using and his life was on the right path again. Once he’d said that in the mornings he often gets up depressed and in a bad mood… I hugged my knees with my arms as I was looking at them. Maybe it was because of the depression, maybe just his insecurities bond him. I don’t think I’d be the person who can decide this.

“But it IS important” said Martin “because you are important to me.”

“I think it’d be better for me to get dressed and leave.”

“Don’t go, Dave, stay!” took Mart his hand “Even you don’t know exactly what bothers you, do you?”

“No, but it hurts and it hurts when I feel how big part of my life you are. I don’t know what this is, it just bothers me. I go Martin!”

“No, you stay with us, right kitty?” Mart looked at me with desperate eyes. Even he didn’t know what to do. I showed him with my hands to embrace Dave tightly and as I knelt behind our singer I did the same.

“Believe us, we love you.”

“I know. I don’t love myself.”

My heart throbbed painfully from this sentence. I couldn’t understand him. Probably neither did he, but looking into Mart eyes I saw that this topic came up earlier too. I still felt myself like a naïve little girl, who has no clue how adults play.

“Why are you saying such things, Dave?” I nuzzled to his broad back and whispered my question nearly onto his skin “After all those things you lived through, you should be proud of yourself being able to be here today. That… that you came back…” I caressed his chest and collarbone gently, while from the other side Martin embraced his waist so I could feel Curly’s hands by my tummy. I gave soft kisses onto Dave’s back-tattoo to calm him down.

“I… I’ll never be satisfied with myself. No. Exactly because of my past. Because of my weakness, which had bothered me those times and which bothers me now, too” he confessed.

“Dave… how could we prove that you’re wrong?” I asked genuinely. I really wanted to know his answer.

“Love me… please…” he said quietly.

We locked eyes with Martin. An unspoken decision was born there between us. I continued stroking Dave while my lips found his soft neck. I inhaled his scent with deep breaths – I will never forget the smell of him. Maybe this was the first time in my life when I was kissing a man’s skin this softly. I felt that Mart’s hands were on their ways too: he was caressing Dave’s back and waist. Our pampered one looked toward the ceiling and was enjoying our gentle touches. He slowly started to relax, but I still felt his muscles very tense. I knelt up and gave him a massage along the meridians. He sighed joyfully and relieved.

I’ve continued what I was doing while I was whispering sweet nothings into his ear – it seemed to work, cuz he was calmer now. Martin was stroking his face then kissed his lips gently. I could have been able to have my second orgasm from this scenery, but I held myself back. Now Dave was the most important. We had to help her through his sad mood and we were on the right path.

“What do you want know, Martin?” asked Dave when he opened his eyes.

“You, just you” he answered. Suddenly it seemed a good idea for me to go and let them love each other, but before I could act, Dave propped his head on my chest and looked up at me.

“Well, kitty, did I manage to disillusion you? Did I fall from your pedestal, which you’d built during these years? See, this is me! Do you still want me this way too?”

“Now even more” I answered crying “And, and Martin too! It touches me so deeply to see you like this. You, you just… love each other so much!”

“Yes… we do” whispered Martin kissing Dave’s throat and neck, which was tensed, because he was still looking up at me.

Dave smiled “Don’t cry, kitty…” he whispered shortly, while he reached back with one of his hands to wipe my tears away. I couldn’t stop myself, I had to caress his head then lean to his lips, kissing him up side down. His tongue found its way slowly into my mouth and this drifted me far away from reality… again.

Martin was crooning something to Dave so I bent closer to hear it… “When I'm in your arms, the world makes sense, there’s no pretence...” I smiled when I recognized ‘Damage People’. I stroked Martin’s face too and he looked up at me. “We are damaged people, aren’t we?”

“Jeez, Martin! Don’t start it! Shouldn’t we open here a psychological ambulance?” Finally from this both of them laughed. “Thank god, the evil curse flew away” I smiled back at them.

Mart didn’t say a word, he just smiled he leant over Dave’s shoulder to give a soft kiss onto my lips. When he pulled away from me, he was still embracing Dave and propped his chin on Dave’s shoulder as he looked into my eyes. “And we can thank this for you…” he noted quietly.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

“Don’t say it…” I looked away at a loss, but he reached forward next to Dave’s arm and turned my face back with his hand.

“You’re a special girl” he said and I had to smile from this. I never liked when someone complimented me this much, if someone thought this much of me.

“I’m not perfect either” I protested “You don’t know me.”

“No one is perfect, no one can be found out in one day. But this isn’t the point. The point is the way you see things, the way you live them. This is why we wanted to spend a bit more time with you, this is why you’ve got this day from us.”

Dave turned half-way back and nodded with a little smile on his beautiful mouth.

“Oh boys, do you really want to make me cry again?” I hugged them with both of my arms and put my head between theirs. These powerful emotions started to be too much for me for today.

“We don’t want you to cry. Where were we? I guess by the let-us-love-each-other project’s physical part…” grinned Dave “I think the following part is when you two try to console me… pampering and stuff…”

“Oh, yeah, Davey! Come here!” I pulled him closer to me and he didn’t protest. I’ve returned to his neck with my soft bites then I moved to his nape. I felt that his skin broke out in goose bumps from the feather-light kisses I gave behind his ear and from the way my hand caressed his spine all way down. A few times I ran my tongue along his back-tattoo’s lines. My hands were stroking his chest to give space Martin, who wanted to conquer deeper regions. He bent his head lower and lower and gave thousands of kisses onto Dave’s tummy. He kissed and bit or licked his skin, while his whole palm was on Dave’s lower-stomach. Our panther was enjoying our touches with closed eyes, panting quietly. He propped himself on his hands, next to my knees. After a few minutes I had to stop my trail of kisses, because I felt his back pressing harder against me. I thought Martin had reached his goal – and yes… as I looked down at him over Dave’s right shoulder, an unbelievable scene burned itself into my mind!!

Dave bent his head onto my left shoulder and moaned loudly. I felt my own body on fire seeing for the first time in my life Martin doing this – and now not just in my fantasy world! Dave’s body reacted with great intensity to Martin’s touches. They seemed so perfect together and they seemed to know each other more than I’d imagined. I was curious about one thing: did Dave enjoy making love to me as much as he was enjoying it now when Martin was working on him? I barely could hold his back as he threw himself backwards again and again. He was literally flouncing in my arms. With my right I grabbed his chin and turned his head towards mine to kiss his greedy lips and reach for his tongue. I’ve heard the maddening voices Mart’s lips made as he was working on Dave and I felt Dave’s little moans right into my mouth! This drove me totally crazy! I was afraid that my arms’ll go weak and I won’t be able to hold Dave’s body.

He was over the edge in less than five minutes – after he suddenly threw his head back again – hitting my nose – he gave himself to the waves of pleasure. “Mart, Mart… hey, I’m dead!” he moaned.

“Yeah, I see it, big boy” came Curly’s answer. Then he whispered just to himself: “Oh, David…”

I moaned plaintively holding my nose, while in my mind I could still see the former picture, which made my whole body burn for them. I wanted them badly. I was just staring at them for a minute. Slowly Dave could breathe again, his body still shivering from the things he’d just experienced. He opened his eyes and looking into Martin’s eyes he said:

“You know, you’re the only one, who can enchant me this way and I let only you to do this to me.” I’ve got my answer for my question earlier. He went on: “Martin, it’s your turn. I have an idea what I’d do…” he stroked his back.

I nearly yelped. I felt myself unnecessary again, although I didn’t know how I dared to feel like that. Today they gave me so much! I didn’t know whether my selfish side was stronger again or not, but I pressed my lips together and was sitting there without a word, watching them. I felt that my soul floated away from them, from the room and from my own body. Was I sad? Maybe. I just wanted to get into the bed and pull the blanket over my head to hide from everything and everyone – mostly from myself. I followed Dave’s move with my eyes as he leant forward and kissed Blondie, his fingers sliding down onto his member. In my subconscious I’ve heard Martin’s question – something about a returned favour? – then I just saw Dave’s head as he was kissing Martin lower and lower on his chest. Somehow I felt that I can’t stay there. I didn’t want to disturb them! I was sitting still on my heels, my hands folded in front of my chest and I was just watching.

“Dave” I said in a low tone “I don’t know what to do now. I don’t want to disturb you. Should I go?”

“In the middle of the night? You don’t disturb us, not at all. I know this could be strange for you. We hadn’t planned the night this way, but you’d asked about us and we… well it seems that we needed each other with Marty… We needed you too, but this is something else. You can’t compare the two things, believe me! I saw that the situation turned you on, come, and join us. Come closer. I can pay attention just on one person and now it’s Martin, but he can handle you too. Cuddle to him!”

And I nodded. While I crawled to Mart on all fours, I stroked Dave’s back, who’d returned biting softly Mart’s tummy. Martin looked at me carefully, but remained silent. He just pulled me closer to his mouth by my neck. I was kneeling beside his left, propping myself on his shoulder then when our kisses got fiercer, I embraced his neck, pressing my upper body to him. His tongue was calling mine eagerly. It amazed me how greedy the desire was under his calm surface. He probably wanted his release badly, cuz compared to us he was left behind…  
My right thigh sometimes touched Dave’s shoulder as he replaced his hand time after time. Martin’s free hand dug into Dave’s hair or squeezed my breast or caressed my tummy. I knew when Dave took Martin into his mouth. Curly bit my already swollen lip in that moment. I felt that he drew blood. He moaned into my mouth and scratched my back all way down then he grabbed Dave’s hair and encouraged him to move faster on him. And the perfectionist Dave tried to give his best again. I couldn’t see from his head what he was exactly doing, but as earlier I had to hold Dave, I had to do it now with Mart. I barely could push against him and I swore he was half-unconscious when Dave finally let him go with his teeth.

Dave grabbed one of my arms so I needed to pull away from Mart’s mouth and I looked at him questioningly. I glimpsed down at Mart’s cock for a moment and saw that Dave did a good job and was still pumping it with his hand.

“Come on, kitty, sit on him and take a ride!” he whispered with a dark-green gaze and started to pull my arm. I knelt over Martin without a word and let Dave lead Marty into me. I moaned faintly from the feeling. Martin opened his eyes and grabbed my waist. I couldn’t pull myself back – it was really a hard gallop! I was prancing on him like I had to straddle a mustang. Rodeos came into my mind, but Martin didn’t want to buck me off – no, no way! On the contrary! He was grabbing my waist like a drowning man his life-belt and he closed his eyes again while Dave knelt behind me and embraced my body.

We moaned with Martin by turns. My moves got more passionate as time flew by. I couldn’t take him in completely – he was too big – but this was no problem to us, I was just galloping and prancing on him, sometimes slowing down just to give him a few wild circles with my hips. By these actions of mine I felt Dave’s bites on my neck and shoulders and his caressing hands on my tummy and tits. I jumped and screamed shortly when his left reached forward to stroke along Martin’s stomach, but on his way back he’d stopped it between my legs. And if he was already there, he’d left it there, but not motionless. Oh my god, those long fingers and Martin! If I’d seen myself as an outsider a few minutes ago, now I was totally positive about the contrary. I just can’t stand always on the front of the line. But now I was on the front. My mind was on the razor’s edge and I thought that my over-stimulated senses won’t take it anymore.

“More… more… Dave!’ I screamed with dry lips, encouraging him to stroke me faster while I was moving my hips on Mart’s groin passionately – he was moaning now constantly. And Dave hadn’t stopped… I felt him pressing his body against mine as close as possible – I was just waiting him to impale me onto his hard cock – and Martin was just lying on the carpet, growling deep from his throat. It really seemed that he was sick, but I know that he was enjoying it. While I crashed into Mart’s neck and welcomed my powerful G-orgasm, I felt Martin shot into me. He didn’t move, he was just panting wildly and was repeating: “Oh My, Oh My…”

“You murder me, guys!”

“Then you’ll have a heart attack soon, kitty!” said Dave as he gently pulled me off of Martin and laid me onto my back, next to the panting Blondie. I had no time to process what was going on – Dave was in me right away!

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” I screamed as my back arched and my face grimaced.

“I couldn’t take it anymore! You two turned me on like hell!” he said, thrusting a big one with his cock then he started an insane pace “Now I crank you up, kitty, you won’t feel yourself useless here! Do you feel this?” he thrusted into me hard “And this?” and again.

“Oh my god, David, you tear me apart!” I screamed.

“I won’t! You’d need more for that!” he panted and pushed into me with such a force which was rather painful than enjoyable. I moaned and groaned in pain – I wasn’t able to do anything else. But in my subconscious I felt that he was prevailing over me. This hurts, I yelled inside of me. I pressed my thighs against his hips to slow him down. I won’t let this happen!

He didn’t seem to notice my pressing – in contrary, he rammed into me with more challenge and force. I looked deeply into his eyes and I felt my gaze burning. I started to push him away with my hands on his chest, but he kept them down. I didn’t care, I tried again with new force and because of his movements I was able to get him out of his balance – but I forgot Martin. That jerk helped his friend and held my hands down. I didn’t give up – my body was writhing under Dave as I tried to shake him off. I was getting tired and the guys knew this. I collected my last strength and somehow – don’t know how – I shook Dave off. I immediately turned to my tummy, untwisting my wrists from Mart’s hands. I wasn’t lazing, I tried to stand up, but horny-Dave grabbed me from behind and bit wildly into my shoulder-blade. I yelled out loudly in pain and I tried to break free again. Dave asked for Mart’s help to pin me to the floor. After ten minutes of struggling they managed. I was lying there on my stomach, pinned to the floor, exhausted and panting wildly. I knew there was no getting out of this.

“Relax, kitty” whispered Mart into my ear. I felt myself like some animal, which was captured by humans “We don’t want to hurt you, but you should know that we won’t let you go. You entered the game.”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” I yelled furious “What’re you thinking?! Let me go!” I hissed, trying against the firm hold on my wrists. It came into my mind that maybe it would have been better for me to leave when I had the chance. I should have left them here, for god’s sake, to let them play their sick games with each other! I was scared! Two men against me? I had no chance! But I won’t give up! They can’t use me as they please! I felt that they were getting smaller and smaller in my eyes. Who were they at all?!

Dave lay onto my back as he leant to my ear from the other side and whispered: “We are just playing, we won’t hurt you. If you want, I let you go. This afternoon you asked me for this and you loved it very much. What’s the matter now? We want you. Earlier you wanted to go because we were busy with Mart, now you want to go, because we are with you…”

“Play, but not with me!” I hissed again “I’m not a toy! Even if I’m less worthy than you, I am HUMAN! This, what you was doing to me now Dave, wasn’t enjoyable, but freaky!” I yelled. Fear was speaking from me. I’m lying here – pinned to the floor by two men. What’ll happen to me now? What had I gotten into?

I think they came round from my voice and as I screamed at them. Angry tears were flowing from my eyes. I was really scared and this whole thing was freaking me out!

“I’m sorry…” Dave whispered and let me go as he climbed off me.

Martin let my wrists go “We’ve got carried away too far” he said quietly too “Please, forgive us…”

I didn’t answer right away – I was lying on the floor at least for three minutes, tears rolling down my face. My body hurt between my legs, the bite on my shoulder-blade was burning and my wrists were throbbing where they were holding me. I slowly knelt up and was just looking at the boys. What should I do now? Go away? I felt myself horrible! Dave said my thoughts out loud:

“Do you want to go?” he asked. His voice was faint.

“Honestly? I don’t know” I answered.

“Look, we understand if you want to go, but… but we’d be glad if you stayed” he said again.

“To let you rape me this time in real, not like in Mart’s room when I asked for it?” it slipped out of my mouth edgily.

“We don’t…” he began, but broke off then looked at me with guilty eyes “I’m sorry if we frightened you. We didn’t want to hurt you…”

“This is true… We’ve just go carried away” apologized Mart too “We’d be happy if you stayed! But of course we can’t force you.”

“How could we make it up to you?” asked Dave on all fours.

“Would you let us?” interrupted Martin.

I was thinking and looked from one guy to the other then finally I nodded.

\---

First Martin moved toward me, crawling carefully to me. With his thumbs he wiped away the rest of my tears from my pale face, which was already half-dry. Maybe he saw some fear in my eyes, because he started to stroke my face gently, while he spoke in a reassuring tone: “Thank you… Come!” he offered his hands. I took them hesitantly and let him pull me up. I avoided the burning on my shoulder-blade and followed him to the bed. He put the blanket out of the way and turned me toward him. He took my face between his hands and looked deeply and apologizing into my eyes. Then he started to kiss me softly. I felt the heat of his body, because I was standing quite close to him.

At first I just let him kiss me, but after it I shyly returned them. First with a little fear, carefully but then with time my kisses changed as courage crawled back into my heart. I think Dave let his friend warm up the situation, or maybe he just didn’t want to confuse me with “attacking” in the same time. He let Mart calm me down… I don’t know, but I was glad that I had to focus just on one man this time, allowing me to get lost in Martin. His hands started to wander on my body still carefully while I put my arms around his neck. His tongue was playing with mine more and more passionately. I let him do so, cuz I wanted the same. This frightened me a bit. Was I already this addicted to them after just one day?

Blondie avoided my aching body parts easily then he pushed me gently onto the bed. He took his time and I was grateful for this now. He knew very well what he needed to do. After all it isn’t a big wonder that I’ve got addicted to them in such a short time! Which woman wouldn’t do the same? I was watching him kneeling over me with a little smile. He showered me with his kisses again and as an answer I stroked along his spine softly. I felt him shudder under my gentle touch and this made me proud. He pulled away from my mouth and slid downwards on my neck until he reached my collarbones with his tongue. From there on he planted small kisses onto my body as he got closer to my breasts. With closed eyes I dug into his hair then looked to the side. Dave was still sitting on the floor like a little boy, who knows that he’d done something wrong. This picture was so moving that I couldn’t be angry at him. Not anymore. I reached my left hand for him. He jumped up right away and got around the bed to crawl to us. I turned my face to him while Martin continued teasing my hard nipple, sucking on it. Dave looked at me questioningly so I slid my hand onto his nape to pull him to me.

“You should never ever do this to me again, just in case I ask you to do so…” I whispered into his mouth then started kissing him greedily. I pushed my chest upward contentedly when his hand found my free breast. He was playing with me in a sensual way. I moaned faintly from their touches. This whole thing was so beyond belief! We were at the edge of absurdity, but this just added oil to the fire – I was enjoying it even more. It seemed that I wasn’t able to get enough of these two demonic guys.

While Dave was squeezing my breast I was scratching his upper arm greedily and was biting his lips wildly. Was it a revenge for what they did earlier? I don’t know, but I liked him letting me do so – that I was able to do anything to him I wanted… But he still had his own will, cuz after a while he started to move downwards on my body too. His lips found my tit soon. I pushed my head into the pillow and moaned. Meanwhile Mart moved lower to my navel, but I knew he won’t stop by my tummy… Dave took Mart’s place on my chest and my groans came more often. Blondie was biting my skin by my lower tummy in a maddening way, while he was stroking one of my inner thighs. Dave went on with the pampering on my breasts – I could just appreciate this – but I needed his mouth. I wanted to bite, to kiss, to tear, to stroke him! I pulled him up by his nape and attacked him with such a desire that our teeth clashed together and the former wound on my mouth re-opened and started bleeding. Martin’s tongue reached his goal in that very moment, while he pulled me apart a bit more to sink deeper between my legs. I groaned from the depth of my throat. Dave licked the blood off of my lower lip then gave me more of his wild kisses. Meanwhile Mart was totally busy with his work on me and as a result I was moaning into Dave’s mouth more often.


	11. Chapter 11

11.

 

I could just guess when Martin reached for Dave’s right hand, because I was totally lost in my singer’s kisses, but suddenly next to Mart’s tongue I felt Dave’s two fingers in the picture too. I praised him with an enormous moan as he pushed his fingers deep into me. I grabbed his shoulder with a big force, while my other hand pulled Martin’s blonde tufts. My hips moved higher then matched the rhythm of their movements. I pushed my head into the pillow again as my whole body was shaking under their touches. There was no doubt that they were doing a great job consoling me. Martin’s tongue was moving crazily between my legs – not to mention Dave’s fingers… My favourite singer’s lips and teeth were still on my chest, but I was thirsty for his lips again. Both of my hands reached down for him and I pulled him up and gave him more greedy kisses. After maybe a minute I had to turn my head away so I could moan out loud from the accelerating pace of his fingers. He took advantage of this and started kissing my cheek and neck. I thought I’ll die there when Mart interrupted us. He wanted to change places…

I was totally out of my mind so I let them everything they wanted to do to my shaking body. I strained again when Dave took over the lower regions and Mart’s fingers found their way into me, kissing my lips passionately… I couldn’t think because of the desire I felt. I was just grabbing and pulling their hair and moaned whenever I had the chance. This diversity, the fact that they still wanted me after all our lovemakings, their desire to satisfy me, their touches, their scent and moves made me crazy… I’ve got totally lost in my lovers’ concurrent touches until my sweaty body arched from my next orgasm…

I panted into Martin’s mouth while he ran his fingertips softly on my breasts. As the last step Dave was still licking me with his skilled tongue and Martin pulled out his fingers, kissing me again. But after a few moments I pulled away from his lips to close my eyes and pant towards the ceiling, my chest moving up and down in a fast pace. I knew that a shower would have been nice in that moment, but I had no strength to stand up and go to the bathroom. The Energizer-boys ducked me. They nuzzled to me from both sides. Our blessed trinity went silent after a few minutes and I heard even breaths from my right. Big cats are lazy and sleep long hours – this one next to me did the same. Martin was lying on my other side, but not with closed eyes.

“I’d like to speak about something with you” he began.

“Go on” I sighed powerless and I faced the ceiling too. My left hand was resting on our panther’s arm, which was hugging my tummy.

“What we’d done to you, I mean what you’d stopped…”

“Yes?” I scowled.

“I hope you can forgive us!” he whispered. From the corner of my eyes I saw that he turned his face toward mine to examine my expression.

I smiled softly “I already forgave you, don’t worry” I turned to him too and stroked his face with my free hand.

“I’m glad” he exhaled loudly then took my wrist and gave a kiss into my palm before he pressed his lips to mine.

I was kissing back more and more passionately and felt as he hugged me firmly, pulling me closer to him. I didn’t protest. Dave’s hand was already behind me on the sheet. The concert and our diabolic duo sucked out all of his energies. But from that moment all of my attention was on Martin. I was amazed that he still wasn’t tired! His hands were sliding on my skin softly but firmly, his tongue was dancing with mine. It started turning me on that we were doing this next to our sleeping panther. Oh god, again? – it ran through my mind. Yes, again. It was simply unbelievable! Of course I just couldn’t get enough of them, but it shocked me completely that they felt the same toward me… My fingers were wandering softly on Mart’s side, barely touching his skin. I felt him shaking under my touches. He was grabbing my hips as he pulled me harder against his body after he turned fully toward me.

“You’re amazing, Martin!” I whispered “How can you still wanting me?” I pulled away a bit from his mouth and looked into his eyes while my right hand slid down on his chest. I felt the light pressure on my groin.

“I’m much more than you might think” answered Blondie and attacked me again so I needed to moan. I simply couldn’t understand the situation I was in. I was tired, worn out, but I couldn’t resist – and to be honest I didn’t want it either.

After a passionate kiss he started biting my neck while one of his hands slid onto my breast, which was bright red from the former bites. He stroked it gently until it was hard again. I was still in shock, I think. I let him do whatever he wanted and sighed quietly from his gentle touches. The ‘perfect lover’ title popped up suddenly in my mind. My hands were stroking him wherever I could reach him.

“Martin, how can I turn you on... even after all our lovemakings?” I whispered faintly under his hands.

“Dunno, but you do it fucking great…” he slid his mouth onto my right breast.

“But… I don’t have anything extra…”

“You’re silly… You don’t have to be a beauty queen to grab my attention… Your charisma is enough… And by the way don’t underestimate yourself” he answered between his soft kisses and bites.

“But…”

“Don’t talk that much. You’ll wake Dave up…” he slid his fingers between my legs again.

“And would that be a problem?” I moaned a bit louder.

“I want you now for myself” he stated firmly, but tenderness was in his voice too. I had nothing else to say. I sent him a warm look then rolled him onto his back so I could straddle him.

“Then I’ll be yours” I whispered nearly into his mouth and after a few greedy kisses my lips began to wander lower without any shame to feel his hardness between my lips again. He moaned faintly and dug his fingers into my hair. But he didn’t let me work on him for too long. He softly stroked my shoulder and pulled me up for more sweet kisses. I let him turn me onto my back without resisting. Dave’s hand nearly touched me, but he was still sleeping. To be honest for some minutes Martin managed to make me forget about the sleeping Dave Gahan, who was right beside me - and this was something!

His touch was full of gentleness when he opened my legs and knelt between them just to grab my hips – which were aching from their former rough touches – and melt our bodies together. We both moaned from the familiar feeling. He placed himself into an angle which let him penetrate me with his full length. He propped himself on his hands by my shoulder and dug into my long hair while he was moving his hips gently. I snapped at his mouth to keep my groan down. My whole body tensed because I wasn’t allowed being loud.

He was rocking me with his hips for long minutes – near the end he picked up a faster rhythm and from this it was impossible for me not to moan out loud a few times. And then my body surrendered to the overwhelming pleasure, which I reached a few moments sooner than Martin. I can’t tell how much orgasm I had that day. I was panting when my body took in everything he had to give. His sweaty body was lying heavy on me, his breath tickling my ears and neck as he dug his head into the pillow under me. I caressed his shoulders with my arms and my hands were stroking his back. Dave was still sleeping peacefully.

“Look how he sleeps” I nodded toward him.

“Yeah, I know. He sleeps very little and with difficulty. He’s nearly always up like Edison. But if he manages to fall asleep, you can do whatever you want to him, he won’t wake up. Look…” Martin bent forward.

“Don’t disturb him in his sleep! He’s so sweet! Let our tom rest!”

“Whatever… But I show you something, look” he reached for his unsuspicious victim.

“Martin, what are you doing?” I asked again while my lover’s upper body turned to the left to reach Dave. I moaned from this, because he just slid out of me.

“Just watch!” he grinned at me.

“Martin, don’t do it! He’ll be furious if you wake him. He was so tired.”

“Relax, this is the point – he won’t wake up, I prove you!”

First he bent to Dave’s ear and called out his name quite loud. No reaction. Then he started to shake Dave’s body on the bed – nothing happened. I was scared what we’ll get from our panther if we wake him up. He was just lying, like a dead man. My stomach jumped from the sight although I saw his tummy rising and sinking so he was breathing. Martin stood up and started to put things on Dave’s chest and stomach. First an empty suitcase then a Bible and a phonebook and after that he took a fruit basket and a vase with flowers from the table.

“It’s ready” he said, checking out his work proudly. And David was sleeping under the pyramid like a little angel. I felt sorry for the poor guy, but it was so funny that I bursted out in laughter.

“You see how funny our friend is?” smiled Martin. He was so happy about his little mischief! It is said that there’s a little boy in every adult man and this boy can be seen. “And now we’ll take pictures” he stood up again and searched for the cell phone in his trousers’ pocket.

“Hey Mart, are you sure about this?” I looked at him with doubt and pulled the thin blanket up on my chest as I was sitting on the bed and sent an anxious look at Dave, who was still sleeping motionless under the pyramid.

“Absolutely” he pushed a few buttons on the phone then focused on Dave. I sighed a big one and put my head between my hands. I couldn’t guess what Dave’d say if he ever sees these pictures, but I was sure he won’t like them. Martin took some pictures then addressed me “Hey, kitty, look at me!”

“What?” I raised my head, lowering my hands and of course I forgot the obvious fact that he wanted to take a picture of me too “Hey!” I grumbled but I was late, the photo was ready “Delete it!”

“No, I won’t!” he pushed a few buttons again – probably saving my picture.

“Do it!”

“No! What? You don’t want to be in my phonebook?”

“No. Why? It would be unnecessary.”

“Why do you say this?” he knelt onto the bed, next to my legs which I pulled up earlier and he put his hand onto my knee.

“Because tomorrow you fly away and we won’t see each other ever again. What good is it? It makes no sense. Or you take a picture of every woman you’d slept with?” I smiled at him a bit sardonically.

“No, I usually don’t do that” he answered a bit huffy “I just wanted to ask you to give me your number…”

Martin asked for my number again and of course I gave it to him “Can I have yours too?” I asked.

“If you handle it very privately then yes. I mean I give mine, but I don’t give Dave’s number without his permission” he nodded.

“Of course, I can understand that. And… thank you” I smiled at him, but inside I had no hope that they’ll call me every again.

“No, I’m glad that we had the chance getting to know you - thanks to fate’s strange will… or rather for Dave’s choc-addiction” he stroked my face then gave a quick kiss onto my lips. I just smiled. “Okay, I put things back to their places and let this poor guy rest…” he grinned at his motionless friend and quickly removed the objects from his chest “Come, let’s take a shower. It’s already dawn and we are very tired, we need to sleep too. Is it good for you if the three of us sleep here? The bed is big enough and I won’t go to my room now. And I’m sure you won’t mind us cuddling to you from both sides, snuffing into your ears…”

“I’d need those snuffs anyway” I whispered smiling “Like a panther-family…” I laughed silently and let Martin pull me by my hand into the bathroom. I was tired too from all these exciting experiences, my body moved after him with difficulty. I guessed that tomorrow I’ll have several purple and green bruises on my body. I was wondering how on earth I was still able to walk after all these ‘attacks’… Then I pushed my disturbing thoughts aside and enjoyed every minute of having a shower with Martin Gore. After it I slid naked between them, nestling to them tightly as an end to my most amazing day of my life.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

 

It was late when we woke up – or rather who knows when Dave woke up. He was sitting in the suite’s other room, watching telly and having breakfast. Martin was still sleeping soundly. I put one of the hotel’s bathrobes on and walked to Dave, pulling the door silently closed behind me.

“Hi, hon” he greeted me before I could. He was fresh and dewy, full of life. I love when he’s sparkling from energy – it’s so good to look at him!

“Hello David, are you awake?” I asked him rather silly.

“Yep. Are you hungry? Do you want me to plaster you a toast?” he smiled and was already pouring my coffee to a mug.

“How did you know I’m a coffee-addict?”

“You haven’t seen you coming in! Your eyes were barely open and you were nearly groping.”

“Great. I bet I look awful. Is there a mirror somewhere so I can check the results of crazy-yesterday?” I stepped to the fake Venice mirror and nearly sprang back “’The person in the mirror can’t be me’…” I hummed into the mirror, making grimaces and finally sticking my tongue out to my reflection.

“You like Paper Monsters!” he perked up.

“Of course I like it!”

“Just because a lot of DM fans don’t like it too much. It’s not like DM.”

“Thank god it isn’t. That music is you. It’s just about you, no one else. And if someone doesn’t like it, then stop listening to it. I listen to it, cuz I love it.”

“Thank you, kitty, you’re sweet.”

“Anytime” I sat down oppositely “Call me anytime if you want to hear what a great guy you are. I can’t get bored saying it.”

“You, cat! Are you coaxing?”

“Yep.”

“Can you purr too?”

“Do you want me to purr? Just stroke me and I start purring.”

“Come here, sit next to me” he called and I nestled to his side, pushing my face into his manly, fragrant and freshly-washed body.

“Huh, do you want to eat or what?” he asked cuz I couldn’t stop my hands, which were wandering on the territories they’d explored earlier.

“Or what!”

“Eat something before it” he asked “I can’t do anything if I’m hungry.”

“Uh-uh” I answered between to sips from my coffee.

“Kitty, I want to ask something from you!”

“Tell me.”

“Can you give me your number?”

“Dave, of course!”

“Who knows… I think I’ll miss you.”

“You’re so sweet! Great! You’ll miss me?”

“It seems. I was sitting here and I was thinking about you. I was up early and went out to run. As I was running on the embankment and watched the rising sun over the Danube’s surface and heard the city waking up around me, you were on my mind. You, Budapest, Hungary. I’d like to see you again. Would you mind it?”

“David! Are you kidding? Oh god, Dave I love you, you know! Of course I wouldn’t mind it. Anytime you want it…”

\---

Dave had ordered a rich breakfast from room service so our still sleeping Blondie would be able to eat when he’ll come round from his coma-like sleep. I ate a quite big portion too, cuz my favourite musicians made me tired yesterday. I was wondering how I was able to get out off bed at all. While I checked my body quickly, I saw several purple and green bruises, but they didn’t disturb me too much – especially when I was thinking about how they ended there. I smiled while I plastered my last crescent roll with butter.

“Wow, kitty, you have a stomach…” noted Dave, who had finished his breakfast minutes ago and he crowned it with an inevitably bar of the finest Belgian chocolate.

“You’re surprised? After all those exercises?” I winked at him “You’re better than an update diet” I giggled.

He gave me a charming smile for this then offered the remains of his chocolate “You want some?”

“You want to share your precious choc with me?” I grinned after I sent the crescent roll’s last mouthful down to my stomach.

“Yep. After all this brought us together” he shrugged. For a moment I just watched his moving muscles on his naked upper body mesmerized.

“Thanks” I came back to reality and broke down a square. Then I bit onto the rest of the bar which he offered. While I was chewing, he put his fingers onto my lips. “Why’re you doing this?” I munched at him.

“I just want to feel you.”

With a sudden gulp I sent the choc down. Just one word and touch was enough to set me on fire again…

“Oh… in this case…” I grinned with smeared chocolate in the corner of my lips and straddled him without any shame, lowering my body onto his thighs. He was wearing just black trunks.

“Hmmm… I like this much more” he embraced my waist with both hands, but when he wanted to kiss me, I pulled away. He looked at me confused.

“Give me that choc!” I smiled and when he handed it to me, I broke down another square, putting it between my teeth. He smiled and snapped at it. The choc was melting quickly in our mouths and we could taste its sweetness on each others tongues. Meanwhile his hands started to wander on my body too.

“You’re not wearing panties…” he stated pulling away a bit from my lips.

“Correct” I sent him a devilish smile “Just the robes… Why? Do you miss them?”

“No – I won’t say that at all…” he reached between my legs and I grasped for air, still smiling.

“Should I say that it was no surprise for me?” I stroked his face while my hips moved slightly to his fingers’ rhythm “Dave, I think after all it’d be better for me to go and put some panties on” I whispered into his ear when Martin found his way to the breakfast table with barely open eyes, yawning. He sat down next to us and looked at us with “closed” eyes. Dave grunted reluctantly and his hand came up from between my legs to join his other on my waist. A smile spread on my face as I slid a bit lower on his lap to rest my head on his chest, turning my face to Martin.

“What’s up, sleepy-bag?” I asked Blondie grinning. I felt Dave’s arms sneak around me and this felt really great. It was all I wanted – him embracing me as long as he could. Martin was still yawning loudly and the lions on the savannas came into my mind – especially when I looked at his rumpled blonde tufts.

“What’s up, did you stick together?” he asked.

“Are you envious?” grinned Dave and pulled me even closer. I giggled silently. Martin murmured something under his nose, but we couldn’t understand because he forgot to articulate – maybe it was too early for him yet.

“You’re insanely sweet like this” I added. Dave snorted in disbelief.

“Good for me” he rubbed his eyes with his fingers “How can you be this fresh after yesterday?” he asked me surprised.

“Oh come on, Martin. Haven’t you heard that women after good sex are full of energy and happiness hormones the next day?” grinned Dave. I shivered when I heard the beating of his heart under my ear and his voice which was resonating in his chest under me. “And me thinks, our little lady here had not just one good sexual act yesterday…” he muttered and as a return I gave him a purring-like sound. “Look at here, I have a kitty on my lap! I caress you just purr for me” he said and continued on a low voice so Mart wasn’t able to hear us “cuz you can drive me crazy with it. We were getting started when he came. Leave our coma-like friend behind and come down to swim so I can cool down, or come with me into the bathroom or to the balcony, I don’t care, but I want to put things into their right places…”

“Onto the balcony? Are you nuts? Private show for the fans? Indeed, we should take a look outside! I’m curious how many people are down there! If there are fans, please, greet them!”

“While I’m fucking you?”

“David, you’re bad!”

“Not bad, you know it is called…”

“I know, I know, don’t say it. Dave, pull your hand back from there!”

“Why??” he asked pouting a bit, which made his expression more adorable. I lifted my head up to look into his eyes.

“Because I’m one of those cruel types…” I bantered and held their bad, bad hands down. But I put my head back onto his chest and just to play with him a little more, I continued purring and nuzzling on his lap. He moaned from this.

“Do you want to give morning-porn to Curly” he whispered “or you come with me into that fucking bathroom?!”

“Uh-uh, hey, I think it’d be better to do what you say” I got down from his lap. I bet if I didn’t obey, he wouldn’t have been shy by the table either … I looked back at him with piercing eyes and he grabbed my hand and pulled me firmly toward the bathroom.

“Have a nice breakfast!” I yelled back at Blondie, who started eating, but he just sent me a tired grunt. He had no strength to ask us where we were going, but maybe he knew it well. I grinned as I turned back to Dave “Your friend is so cute!” I said while he pulled me into the bath.

“But I’m not cut – I’m horny” he pressed me firmly against the door.

“Uh…” I exhaled between his arms when he pushed me gently to the flat wood “One more of this kind of sentences and I’ll be the horniest girl in this city” I said then moaned faintly, cuz his fingers had reached under the robe and slid up on my inner thighs. And then the robe was suddenly on the floor and just the rhythmic and dull thuds could be heard on the door.

\---

Meanwhile Mart was eating outside peacefully. He was faintly smiling, chewing his toast with jam, listening to the rhythmic thuds. Sometimes he heard a few louder moans which reached his ear a bit bluntly. At the end of his breakfast he was drinking milk from his mug when he heard my muffled but unambiguous scream. His smile returned.

“It seems that your purring was successful, kitty” he noted after I appeared in the door a few minutes later, face flushed.

I smiled and stretched contentedly in my robe again then walked to Blondie and sat next to him. I was still panting a bit. Dave didn’t appear and we could hear the water from the shower cabin – my panther was taking a shower. So now I have my golden lion here.

“Would you pamper me a bit too?” asked Martin simply, smiling at me kindly.

“Oh yes. I was just thinking about it.”

“You! While Dave did everything to impress you, you were thinking of me?”

“It happens, yes.”

“Jesus Christ, this is the first time I hear something like this!!! This is more than exciting, you know! I’m the one who knows exactly what Dave’s capable of and during it you were thinking of me? I can’t believe! Don’t tell him, or else he’ll jump out of the window!”

“No way I’ll tell him, but you shouldn’t either, okay?”

“I won’t” he sent me a Gore-smile, which turned me into a puddle. This was clearly visible on me, cuz Mart’s smile got wider and put his arms around me to pull me closer to him “Don’t worry, I’m not stupid even if sometimes it seems I am” he gave me another smile then I let him pull me into his lap.

“Familiar situation…” I noted.

“But now I’m under you, not Dave” he shrugged and caressed my back.

“True. How do you want it?” I asked, putting my arms around his back too.

“Be my rider” he asked with a soft kiss and the robe slid to the floor for the second time this morning. I think it was unnecessary putting it back on me. After our lips parted I smiled at him and nodded.

“Guys, you’ll be the death of me…” I added quietly. I glimpsed toward the bathroom where I could still hear the shower’s sounds.

“Don’t worry, if he gets into the bath… We have time” he licked my collarbones and neck.

“I’m not worried…”

I started to squirm on his lap to find the best position – and with this I made him gasp of course, I could see everything on his face. His look was getting darker and captured mine. Oh god, this is too much for me, I thought as I bent down and kissed him. He returned it greedily and I was wondering whether he did it because our previous sounds with Dave had turned him on? But I didn’t ask him just let his tongue dance fiercely with mine. I felt his hands on my back, butt, thighs and arms, which were around his neck. He took my right hand and led it to his robe’s belt, encouraging me to loosen it and I obeyed. He wasn’t wearing anything else under either. My eyes were drinking in the naked Martin Gore’s sight greedily. He eyed me exhaustively and a smile spread on his face again. I couldn’t stop my self: I attacked him wildly, kissing and caressing him wherever it was possible. My hand found his hardness very soon and started pumping it, which made Blondie growl contentedly. He was grabbing my tits and ass, his lips possessing my mouth feverishly.

The gurgling from the bathroom got louder and we heard Dave’s happy singing.

“Don’t tell me that he sings under the shower?!” I laughed.

“He does. This is how his career’d started. His siblings always told him to stop singing in the bathtub and do it in a pub, drunken. He’d listened to them – this is how we heard our famous singer for the first time.”

“I can’t believe it. Do you like his voice too?”

“Sure. He has a beautiful voice, I love it. Didn’t he sing into your ear? I know for sure that he mesmerizes women with that…”

“I was already mesmerized, so you had an easy way with me…” I stoked his cock a bit harder.

“That’s true” he agreed, moaning.

“But let’s see… That version of ‘Dirt’ from yesterday… we can say that it was the ‘mesmerizing-part’, can’t we? And by the way this was the most exciting and the best version I’d ever heard” I leaned down to his lips playfully, but I always pulled my head away when he was about to kiss me.

“Hmm… well in the last few years we had been working hard enough on you emotionally, so it was an easy win.”

“Yes, you say this” I rose up from his lap, stopping everything I was doing until now.

He looked back at me bleakly “More!”

“Ask me nicely, properly and excitingly! Come on! But do it in a very exciting way!”

“What’s up, kitty? Are you mad?” he caressed my waist softly.

“Me? Tut! You just labeled me as a… bitch” I shrugged a bit irritably.

“Hey… hey, relax! We know you’re not one. We know that this is just for us two. And knowing this – that such a beauty acts like an exciting wild cat for us… well how to say it… it turns us on completely…” he licked the edge of his mouth and his hands stroked my butt. I just gave him a faint smile while my cool eyes were examining him and his words. “Hey, kitty… please!” he looked at me with his green puppy-eyes.

“What do you want from me, Martin? Let me hear!” I grabbed his shoulders. He shortly hissed and his eyes got darker.

“Be my ruler, kitty, like a queen! Make me surrender to you!” he answered, his voice deeper from his desire, squeezing my butt hard. This opportunity blew my mind off.

“Hmm… this sounds quite exciting for me…” I licked his lips leaning closer and bit down hard onto his lower lip then pulled it away a bit, still holding it between my teeth, just to kiss him fiercely afterwards.

I don’t know when did the singing stop outside and when did silence fell upon the room. I was busy with something else. Martin can be fascinating, if you know what I mean. As I was kissing him passionately, my gaze wandered past his shoulder and I saw David sitting on the bed, his legs slightly apart, as always. He was watching us. I eyed him, still kissing Martin greedily. I kept Dave’s presence in secret as my fingers grabbed him firmly again. He wanted me to be his queen? Well, okay… I won’t disappoint him.

He moaned into my mouth as my hand started to move on him faster. With my free fingers I scratched along his shoulder, not paying attention onto his loud yell, and pressed my lips hard on his – still watching Dave with one eye. He saw me watching him, but he didn’t do anything except crossing his legs. Oh boy, just the remote control was missing from his hand! He was sitting there like a sated little boy after lunch. He wanted a show? He’ll get it! I went for Martin’s neck and earlobe. I wasn’t gently with his skin – I bit and sucked it into my mouth mercilessly. I pulled my hand back from his thick shaft to scratch his chest. His hands were sliding on my body randomly. I felt his left hand by my nape to press my mouth closer to his neck. I bit him hard then looked at Dave. Mart’s painful and luscious yell was still echoing in the room. One of my eyes was on Dave when I licked along the bruise I caused on Mart’s neck. Mart grabbed my ass with his free hand and the other pulled my hair, forcing my head slightly backwards.

“Come on!” he moaned.

“No. Now I set the pace!” I stated firmly, breaking free from his grip and grabbing his hands I led them onto the back of the sofa.

“What are you doing?”

“You’ll like it” I answered a. I bit his collarbone shortly and propped myself next to his body. I was a bit sorry about not seeing my singer for a while. But I was wrong, cuz Dave stood up and came closer – standing nearly behind Martin. I nearly hissed at him to go away, but I didn’t want to confuse Martin.


	13. Chapter 13

13.

I saw on Dave that he didn’t want to make any move – I wouldn’t let him anyway. He can watch the show while I torture Blondie! It was obvious that Martin had totally forgotten that originally we were three in the suite. I carefully sized up the distance between Dave and us – he was standing just on the borderline where Martin won’t see him in his little briefs if he bent his head backwards – cuz there was no doubt he’d do that after a few minutes. But before Mart could feel himself neglected under me, after a rough kiss I bent to his chest again, shifting a bit backwards, nearly sitting on his knees. My painful bites were all over his chest and nipples, but I soothed them with softer licks too. I tasted his skin shortly with my tongue then moving downwards I bit again. My lips reached his upper tummy, letting his luscious moans go by as my hand returned to his erected shaft. There was no need to prepare it for my mouth so after a sly glimpse with a sudden and greedy move I took it between my lips.

I looked at David, who was totally lost in this picture and was just standing there, watching us. I would have been curious what was going on in his pretty head. I saw him shifting his weight from one foot to the other, narrowly examining us – which seemed funny, cuz I couldn’t imagine him as a scientist. He was watching us like a collector, who surveys an interesting art piece. This was more like him – he was an expert in this surely. He suddenly turned around and sneaked into the bathroom with his cat-like steps. Oh, don’t go, Dave, I thought but was working on Martin still.

I continued greedily and roughly, his loud groans were filled with joy and pain. I glimpsed up for a moment and saw his knobs turning white from the force he was grabbing the back of the sofa. I gave him some gentle moves too then I licked him along just to let my kisses wander even lower for a moment. I’ve got a faint grunt for doing this then my mouth returned to his rock-hard cock again. As I was kneeling between his legs now I looked up at him, my hands doing their work. Martin bent his head forward again, but his eyes were closed. I bit hard and mercilessly into his inner thigh then looked at him. Dave was standing behind him. Again. I haven’t seen him coming back – he was just wherever he wanted to be. I couldn’t understand what he wanted, why he was crawling. I wanted to let him watch us further, but it seemed that he was up to something.

Maybe I straddled Martin again not just because his moans and sighs, but to see the other hot guy better. I licked my lips then exchanged a passionate kiss with Martin, who was far away in his happy place. He closed his eyes when I grabbed him firmly and slowly sank onto his cock, looking straight into Dave’s eyes. Now I wasn’t able to swallow my louder moan either. Martin was insanely hard!

Dave was nearly stamping. While I was moving on Mart, I looked coldly into his eyes then I closed them time after time, moaning louder willingly when my steed got deeper into me. Now not just Martin was rock-hard… Dave was suffering. He ran one hand through his hair and the other tried to ease his pain, but his gaze told me that he wanted to finish it in another way. But I wanted to torture him too, if I was already in my dominant role, that Martin asked from me and which I was really enjoying too. I slowed down and pulled Martin out of me again and again just to take his full length inside me after a few moments. Or let’s just say that I took him inside as far as I was able – nature (or his father?) wasn’t mean to him. I smiled and leaning forward I continued circling my hips on him. I let him rest a bit before my next fury. I propped my hands next to his shoulders, offering my breasts for him. I moaned out loud when he snapped at them greedily, putting his hands around me, stroking my butt. I didn’t let him speed up my pace. Straining my hips I bucked against him, keeping up my own slow pace.

Now I could muster Dave without Martin noticing it. It was a maddening scenery as he was working on him with one hand. I groaned from one of Mart’s bite on my breast – but maybe from seeing Dave like this too. I waved Dave closer with my eyes for a kiss. I realised just then that every man is pliable. David was standing there and not touching me he bent his head to kiss me passionately and hard, not stopping his hand’s work. I couldn’t decide what to do. Should I enjoy watching him play with himself, or should I take control in this situation too? Dilemmas, choices and every choice’s a slow painful death. Of course I couldn’t bear it anymore, I put my hand on Dave’s wrist. He broke the kiss and with his hand he put my fingers around his long shaft. Now both of our hands were moving on him, continuing the game.

I felt my cheeks burning – it was hot in this room. I slightly accelerated my hips’ moves as we got carried away pampering Dave. Martin went on with sucking and biting my breasts, without noticing anything, sometimes moaning onto my chest. I grabbed Dave harder, but he managed to remain silent. I looked into his deep green eyes and holding his cock I forced him to come carefully closer. Now I found the phrase ‘men follow their dicks’ really appropriate… I broke eye-contact and took his hardness between my lips carefully, not allowing Mart to notice anything. Dave bit down on his lips not to moan out loud. My mouth followed the rhythm as I was moving on Martin. I was holding Dave with one hand and was biting him gently, driving him crazy. He was still able to remain silent. I accelerated the pace – I was curious how long he can take it.

I was moving on Martin firmly, which made him groan loudly and he bit down on my nipple harder, making me moan without regret too. I looked up at Dave playfully. We could be loud with Curly – but theoretically he couldn’t. He had had his morning portion already – or at least Martin thought that. Now I should give him all my attention, but I couldn’t resist my favourite panther. I sucked him into my mouth passionately again, moving faster on him too. But I was wrong if I thought he wasn’t able holding himself back. He was quiet – really quiet – not even moving. He suffered with pride. But he was the one, who fell off the cliff sooner. It took just a moment and he was there then I just saw him sneaking back into the bathroom. Again. I licked my face where I could reach his semen with my tongue and used the rest as a body lotion. His control, his panther-like sneaking and his taste amazed me. I could still feel him in and on my mouth… He blew my mind off. I wanted to feel relief immediately!

I wiped my mouth and straightened my back, looking down at Martin, whose face was contorted from joy, while my moves got faster and wilder as I was grabbing his shoulders, digging my nails hard into his skin. Now the both of us were groaning and yelling loudly and shamelessly. I won’t deny this little concert from me was partly for Dave, who drove me crazy again with his reappearance! He was leaning against the bathroom door’s frame, looking at us with his mischievous smile. My hips were moving in a crazy pace now, which I just intensified although Mart was nearly begging for mercy now. I’ve lost my self-control as I was riding him – now screaming a few times as he squeezed my tits harder or grabbed my hips. And after a few minutes suddenly my whole body tensed and breaking eye-contact with Dave I threw my head back, screaming into the air. I barely heard Martin’s similar utterance within half a minute.

I was still holding his shoulders panting. A sweat drop was slowly sliding down on my temple. Martin was still grasping for air and sliding out of me he turned me to the side and pulled me into his lap, putting his forehead between my breasts. He tried to regain his strength. From the corner of my eye I saw Dave coming closer then sitting down into a comfy armchair nearly opposite us. I glanced onto his contented and grinning face then I slowly got down from Martin and stepped behind him to embrace him. He cuddled into my arms, snuffling there. He was so sweet! I needed to shower him with small kisses wherever I could reach him… Dave was watching us smiling and Martin raised his head to kiss me. I let him do so and showered his mouth with small kisses too. I loved both of them.

\---

I think Curly could taste Dave on my lips as his tongue found its way between them.

“Where’s Dave?” he asked.

“He’s sitting there in the armchair.”

“When did he come in?”

“Well, quite a while ago. He can’t shower all day. How would he look like with webs on his hands?”

“True” he licked his mouth “I think he wasn’t bored” he lifted his lazy and contented gaze to look at his friend “Did you have your fun, Dave?”

“Oh, absolutely, Martin, thank you for asking!” he grinned back at him.

“Tell me when, what and how you did things?” he licked the corner of his lips again.

“You really hadn’t notice a thing?” I leant to his ear, putting my arms around his shoulders.

“No, I was busy with something else” he stroked along my arm.

“Do you hear this, Dave? We should be actors…” I looked at our satisfied and dark-eyed panther.

“Oh yes…”

“But to answer your question in short sentences…” I whispered into Mart’s ear “You sucked my breasts. I sucked Dave…”

“Yeah, I’ve tasted the result…” he grinned with a dirty look.

“Another round?” asked David, but his eyes were serious and longing.

“Dave, I think I’m sated with my protein-portion for this morning…” I purred “Even you can’t get always what you want” I grinned at him elfishly “I rather go and have a shower. If you’re in a hurry, ask Martin to help” I shrugged “And boys, behave while I’m in the bathroom! Hands on the table and start whistling!”

They were laughing so hard that they nearly fell onto the floor.

“I was never bad in my life” laughed Mart.

“Neither was I! Just the world wanted always different things than me!” grinned Dave too.

“Yeah, yeah, of course” I sighed looking back from the door “Well, have fun while I’m out of sight. Meanwhile try to figure out what we’ll do while I can stay with you.”

“Okay” they nodded in the same time.

“What do you think? Should we go to a nice restaurant for lunch? After a little relaxation and a walk we could go to swim” asked Dave.

“Do you want to see our wild kitty nearly naked again? No matter what?” he grinned, imagining her in a little bikini “By the way I’m in, but I think I can join you just later, cuz I have to talk with Andy about something.

“Well, I think I can handle her all alone too” he threw his chest out “But now I’d leave the wild cat alone. I want to see the sweet kitty again.”

“What? You don’t want such nice scratches and bites?” he liked the edge of his mouth, looking down onto his skin, which was red here and there.

“No, not yet. You know, I have to strip on the concerts. How would I look like with such love-marks?” he narrowed his sly green eyes.

“I guess the fans’d be surprised. Particularly Jenny…”

“Hey, hey, this was mean! Why are you picking me? Are you jealous?” Dave stroked his friend’s face. I stepped out from the bathroom in this very moment and seeing this stolen moment I felt myself like a stalker. Although they saw me entering the room, Martin tried to speak in a lower tone, but he didn’t whisper. “A little, David, a little. You were always the ladies’ favourite!”

“Look who’s speaking…”

“Well in this you are the winner, no doubts here.”

“Hmm and now you praise me in the face! Tell me what’s on your mind” he took Martin’s face between his hands.

“Nothing, really… just, okay yeah, I’m jealous! Are you happy now?”

“Sure enough!”

“Jeez, Dave!”

“Why? I just feel that I’m important to you and I like it. And you’re wrong, it’s good for my soul and not for my vanity.”

“I’m at my wit’s end from you! Oh, David!”

“Sorry guys, are you sure I’m not disturbing you?”

“You heard nothing new, or do you think she did, Mart?”

“No, nothing new. Just come here. Don’t take it upon yourself that I want him for myself. There are such moments when I need him and just him. I love it when he’s next to me… I love him…”

“I can understand that…” I noted sliding back into my robe, cuz the room wasn’t that warm anymore, and while I put it around my body and sank down at the other end of the couch - where Mart was sitting – and pulled my legs up, I watched Dave smiling an unbelievable and gentle smile hearing Mart’s last words. I loved watching them when they were this thoughtful with each other. Dave softly stroked Martin’s face. As I saw from there, I was sure Blondie’s eyes were telling a story to Dave.

“Marty, Marty… You know well that it’s the same here…” he touched Mart’s lower lip with his thumb.

“We are just fighting with this Dave, just fighting and always running the same circles without an end, right?”

“You mean it’d be wiser, more decent and simple to leave each other alone?”

“Well, yes.”

“You know you can accuse me with many things, except maybe living my life wisely. Wisdom, oh yes. Tell me what have rationality or logic to do with wisdom? There are just bare emotions – severely.”

“You are absolutely right, Mr. Gahan. It doesn’t matter how old we are, wisdom lets us down in this question again and again” he stroked the hand on his face with a light smile.

“Or… this is a certain kind of wisdom. Wisdom of nature emotions?”

A smile spread across my face listening to their conversation. I was sitting there like a naïve school girl, who was watching her teachers’ dialog with hungry eyes. They were incredible! I tried to understand them, I tried to imagine myself into their places how it can be living as Dave Gahan or Martin Lee Gore… What can they feel? I’ll never know it, even if they told me, cuz I can’t feel what they feel – they are men, I’m not. Their emotional life seemed incredibly complicated to me. I could feel happy that now I could be a part of something deep like this, going on between them and I couldn’t understand how they were able to open up like this – especially Martin, who was always the quieter and withdrawn one. I was thinking about what Dave’d sad, about the wisdom of emotions. He was right – this wasn’t anything else than emotional intelligence and showing who you really was. Who knows what had affected their lives. And well, there isn’t action without reaction.

I think these moments were the insights behind the scenes and the relationship evolved during these long years, behind the big emotions, which were hidden safely in front of me until now. I was fiddling with my robe’s belt absentminded. Of course I was an outsider, but I was okay with that now. I rather tried to understand them – to feel what they could feel, although I knew that I was just trying. But it felt good – as it was good to look at them as the distance became smaller and smaller between their faces. This was much deeper… really special, not just mere physical lust. These… these were really just emotions – from the deeper kind. Their foreheads touched and they leant their heads against each other. They were supporting each other. They were each others backups.

This moment moved me to the core! I bit down onto my lip and tried to pull myself as small as it was possible and I haven’t even noticed. I needed to struggle with the dump in my throat, not allowing it to grow bigger. This two-day-long emotional storm killed me. I blinked rapidly for a few times and then I felt just the streams of tears on my face and the salty taste in my throat. They didn’t do anything special – just what other people would do. They loved each other and I was crying silently. I didn’t want time to move – it seemed it was standing for long moments. Then Martin broke free and hugging Dave he suddenly stormed out of the room.

“Where did he run off?” I asked sniffling, rubbing my nose elegantly into the sleeve of my robe.

Dave looked deep in thought after him “I guess he’s as moved as you.”

“You know, you are incredible” I told him.

“I know. Even we can’t believe sometimes what we’re doing. With ourselves, with others. There are always emotional highs and lows – Martin knows it well… ‘Pain and misery always hit the spot’… But there’re moments when it was worth being born – when you feel everything’s okay even if you seem to cry.”

“Yes, I think, I know what you’re talking about” I wiped my eyes “But… since I’m with you two, I felt myself less than you not just once. This is something… something really special. Even just watching it is fantastic, and living through it… I feel a little sorry, cuz I won’t ever be able to understand this completely, but I’m so glad you’d allowed me to see this too. This means a lot to me.”

“Uhm… yeah, we let you see it. But I’m not sure we wanted it too. Nearly no one knows this! And it’s difficult to us – if I think deeper, this is our cross. A beautiful cross, but it’s a cross and we have to carry it. Even from our closest family just a few people know about this. I doubt they’d understand it. As a matter of fact, nearly no one knows it.”

“Maybe it’s no news for you if I say that this was no surprise for me. I mean that nearly no one knows this. I guess you must be a bit crazy to understand this. Or at least open-minded and liberal – or dunno. I don’t think your family’d be happy to know about this side of your relationship” I shrugged, playing with one of my rings.

“Well they wouldn’t accept it at all, I’m sure. Just one of my brothers knows it. And Martin never talks about it.”

“Philip, isn’t he?”

“You know him? Huh, yeah, by the way he is the one.”

“Um, we can say I ‘know’ him. I’ve found him on the internet and I’ve read his myspace site then we chatted a few times. But besides he knows from my account that I love you, we’d never mentioned you or DM directly” I shrugged again “By the way I found your younger brother interesting too. When I’d read through his site, I must say, I was impressed.”

“Yeah, Gahan-blood is thicker than water… He really is a great guy, we love each other. He’s nice. Besides – although I don’t deserve it – he adores me. But I must add that I always protected him and he did the same. This is kinda ‘shield and defiance fellowship’, you know.”

“Why wouldn’t you deserve his adoration? I can’t get this. But I know what you’re talking about. Although the last time I’d spoken to my sister was nearly three years ago, I have one or two friends with the same kinda ‘fellowship’.”

“Look, would you say out loud that you deserve to be adored? You wouldn’t, right? And if we add my life to the situation – which has a not very simple side of it…”

“No, of course I wouldn’t say something like this out loud, but haven’t you considered that maybe he adores you because you are who you are? What you did for him as a brother? That you protected and supported him and gave your help when he was in need? That you were an example for him when you climbed out of the darkest pits? I know him enough to say that he looks up at you and thinks highly of you, because you’d managed to get rid off your drug problems and I think the same way like Phil. Okay, I don’t want to glorify you, but sadly there really are few people who has enough will – even with help from friends – to stay clean like you. But let’s see it from the other side! Let’s look at your music! Look from where you came and where you’re now. The Basildon teenagers became world stars from their own strength! This is something. Do you think these examples aren’t enough for him to look up to you? To cry from emotion and pride when your song had been nominated for Grammy? I think it’s enough. I admire your brotherly relationship you’ve got. Maybe I’m a little envy too” I smiled a bit sadly.

“Hmm… well I really can’t complain because of my family, that’s true. We’re still a very, very converging family. My dearest mother, what she had to bear because of us… You know, Pete wasn’t that good boy either – he was like me. My poor mother!”

“But David, you’d given it up, it’s over!”


	14. Chapter 14

14.

“Is it?”

The blood froze in my veins from his tone “David, no!”

“I don’t think that anyone could understand it. Of course I’m not using anything, just snatching air and I drink no alcohol, but this wasn’t what I meant. You know, old fox doesn’t learn new tricks…”

“Sometimes he does…” I whispered just for myself, looking at my hands then I lifted my gaze again, curling up in the corner of the couch “What did you mean exactly? I’d be curious to know. But of course just if you want to speak about it.”

“Well I don’t know why I should bother you with it.”

“Because I want to know it? Because I want you to be happy?”

“Darling, you’re so kind. I don’t know how it could have happened that we opened up and gave you this much in such a short time…”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that. It’s just that… maybe it isn’t good for you to know these things…”

“I want you to be happy!”

“You want too much.”

“Because I’m one of those greedy girls! Here you are – fate brought me into your way…” I sighed theatrically then went on with a little smile “To be earnest, if you are afraid that I’ll tell it to someone, your fears are unnecessary. Usually I don’t give out someone else’s secrets – especially not about such deep emotions. I won’t swear, cuz it wouldn’t be genuine that way. But I give you my word. Maybe since we are together, you could find out that this means something. And I’d be really happy to know what you’d meant earlier. I want to know you better if I had the chance being with you two.”

“Uh-uh, so you’re that little girl, who climbs up to the volcano just to see the hot lava.”

“Yes, I am. I’ll be your psychiatrist, your kind sister, your lover, anything…”

“My lover? You want to be my lover?”

“Oh god, what did I say again!”

“The truth, I guess…”

“Sorry Dave, don’t be mad… I’ve got such a big mouth and…”

“Well, if you’re brave enough!”

“What?”

“Be my lover. Do you want it?”

“You mean, I could see you again?”

“If I recall it correctly, lovers usually see each other, yes. Cuz I like you. It feels good when I’m with you. I can talk with you too. And you know a lot of things about me and I’m about to pour the other things into your neck. But why do I have the feeling that you already know a lot of things? Knowing, suspecting and feeling them inside?”

“Maybe because I use my brain if I have one?” I asked back, pulling one eyebrow up, but inside my heart wanted to jump out of my chest from the opportunity which he offered…

“And I have the feeling that you use your brain in your pretty head quite good” he smiled at me and put his right arm on the back of the sofa so he could prop his head with his hand. I felt myself blushing from his gaze. “What, kitty? Did I embarrass you?”

“Oh noooo! You know, it happens every day, that famous people want me to be their lovers…” I shrugged neglectful, but meanwhile I started to feel sick from my weak jokes. Why can’t I just shut up?

“Did I confuse you?”

“No, it was just so sudden. I meant it as a joke, but you felt that it wasn’t just a joke. You knew, you knew.”

“Hey, it wasn’t that difficult. You should see your eyes when you look at me! Sometimes they’re burning with lust, sometimes they turn soft from your love, sometimes they’re confused, cuz being with me is strange for you, and sometimes it’s startled when you’re thinking about what tomorrow’ll bring. I don’t think that I should have a psychiatric degree to see all this.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it! David, David!”

“Hey, don’t suffer here! Come here, lovers cuddle and stuff like that…”

“Not that I wouldn’t know what lovers do. This isn’t that new for me” I added more quietly as I crawled to him and let him embrace me.

“Really? You can be such a bad girl too? Who was the lucky one? Or is he still? I don’t want to ruin a relationship here.”

“No, now you wouldn’t ruin anything. I’d done some nasty things in my past too. I’m not a saint either. I’d been a lover once, this role isn’t new for me, but since then three years had already passed. But I didn’t regret it completely, cuz it was good being with him, just you know… we weren’t careful enough and it turned out. That was an ugly scene.”

“You don’t speak to your sister since three years – leastwise you said that – Is there any connection?”

For a moment I remained silent and was playing with the phoenix tattoo’s wing on his chest. Finally I thought if they were this open towards me, I can share a little piece of my past with Dave too… “Well, yes. I’m not proud of it. It’s not a coincidence that my big sister cut off every connection with me. We can say she hates me… I’d slept with her husband” I looked up at him.

“Well the world has seen such things, but you’re right, it’s uglier than sleeping with a stranger. And don’t worry about me. Jen knows that I love her very much, but she isn’t here always when I need her and let’s face it, I’m not there for her either when she needs me. This is kinda consensus between us.”

“You want to say that, that, that…”

“Hey, breathe! Why did you think that if I can do it and she can’t?”

“I, if I…”

“If you?”

“You’re right. Of course, you are. It’s just that for me you…”

“Don’t get me wrong, we love each other, but we can’t have everything what we want from the other half. I’m bilious and she’s very busy. See? I expect some tenderness and pampering from you now.”

“Oh, in this case you just need to ask for it…” I sent him a sweet smile, trying to bury my dark thoughts, which came back to my mind from the old memories.

“Take it as asked.”

“Alright, I try to be satisfying” I stroked his face while I cuddled closer to him “And pass the lover-exam” I giggled.

“I guess if there’s such an exam, you’d already passed it with a quite good grade…”

“Really? How good it is for me…” I whispered then kissed him softly. And again. And again. Our tongues were playing lazily with each other then I rested my head against his chest and I realized that I was humming some old melody for him. I don’t know why I was doing that, it just came. I felt his tense body relax and he joined my humming. I stroked along his nape and back until I reached his thigh. He let me do so without moving then he grabbed me firmly, turned me to him and asked said:

“Think it through before you answer! Consider it properly, cuz I won’t let you hurt me. Do you really want this? Are you sure?”

For two minutes I was just looking into his eyes although I knew my answer well. If I would have missed this opportunity, I had been insane! But of course I wasn’t that shallow. Although sex wasn’t a negligible factor, it wasn’t the most important thing. I rather wanted to know Dave, Martin and this whole thing better. “David, how could I hurt you?” I whispered confused “I wouldn’t want to do it willingly, ever. And If I did it without knowing it, just tell me to stop. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt anyone” I freed one of my hands from his grip and stroked his face.

“This means that…”

“You know well that my answer is yes. I want to be with you whenever you need me. I don’t want to cling to you – no way. I can join you after a while after I arranged some things at home – if it’s okay with you – or as you wish. But if I’ll be near to you, I don’t want to be an unnecessary burden. I want to work something too, so I can feel myself useful. I wouldn’t be able to bear doing nothing the whole day. But it’s okay with me if we just meet sometimes, somewhere. I want it to be comfortable for you.”

“I can’t say anything yet, first I need to talk to Martin about this. If he doesn’t want you being with me then you’ll understand that it won’t work out, right? But if he sees that I want this, I know he’ll let me do it” said David and as he said Martin’s name he smiled “He should come back now. Where’s he?”

“Sure. I understand it. Maybe we should look for him. Stay, I take a look” I pulled away from him and headed for the other room barefooted. I felt his gaze following me.

\---

Blondie was sitting on the bed, facing the window. He didn’t look at me when I stepped next to him. I saw that his eyes were a bit red, but I didn’t say a word just embraced him. He nuzzled to me like a little child.

“You love him, right?” he asked.

“Yes. But… I don’t want to get between you two in no way. I don’t want to ruin this beautiful picture.”

“Why would you do so? What’s Dave doing now?”

“He’s lying on the couch.”

“Really?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly what’s going on his mind now.”

“No wonder. Usually I don’t know it either, although I know him really well.”

“You really love him, right, Mart?”

“Yes. It isn’t easy to speak about this at all, and despite this, sometimes I can be so cold with him. I’m afraid that I’ll burn to ashes - that I’ll go to the devil. He’s full of fire and although he doesn’t want it, time after time he burns everything to the ground around him. Self-ignition. Poor guy – he always wants the best for everyone, but when things turn out in another way, when he screws it up, he feels himself awful. He blames himself. But after all these years… hmm… I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s a very good friend and… and much more than that…”

“Can I join you?” asked Dave from the door.

I looked at Mart – he was the ‘senior’ here. I was gladly with each of them. I guess Dave’d heard our conversation. It didn’t bother me, but I couldn’t know what Martin was thinking about it.

“Of course” answered Blondie, not bothering himself.

“Like a big loving family…” I noted smiling, but in my head I was still thinking about Martin’s previous words. Will Dave burn me up too? Will he tear me if I stay close to him? People get burned when they’re playing with fire, right? And inside I knew the answer and I knew that I don’t care. A Queen song was playing in my head: ‘One moment of love is better than a lifetime alone’. How true. But how will this work out? Strange – as I looked at David, as my eyes wandered to Martin, I knew that I’ll do it, no matter how much I’ll have to pay later. I reached my hand out for Dave, while with the other one I was still hugging Mart. Our singer walked to us and let me embrace his waist too.

“Well, now that we gathered here, maybe we should figure out when we want to go swimming.”

“Oh, yeah, I nearly forgot Andy” Martin slapped his forehead.

“Boys, I don’t really have any swimsuit here.”

“No problem” they said in union.

“Very funny, but if you join me naked then I don’t mind.”

“We can solve this problem” grinned Dave and reached for his cell phone. I’ve heard him call the hotel’s manager “We can go” he said “The swimming pool is closed for us. We can do down there whatever we want.”

“David, you’re amazing. But who wouldn’t do anything for you?” I grinned.

“Dave, a little detail, or problem – you name it” smiled Martin too “Tell me how you’ll make Andy swim naked with us? You know, he’s not like you – he doesn’t see himself as a sex-god…”

“Trust me, I can solve this too” said our trouble-maker and dialed Andy’s number. I leaned back on the bed and tried to hold my laughing back. Then I felt Martin’s weight on me.

“Hey, little girl, what’s so funny?” he started to tickle me. I tried to keep it low, cuz Dave was speaking on the phone, but I couldn’t do it for too long. Dave showed us to shut up, waving like a madman, but Martin went crazy and couldn’t stop himself.

“Mart, I tell Dave what you did to him last night, if you don’t stop!” I squeaked.

“Cool! Let’s show him the pictures!” he jumped up. Meanwhile Dave was just talking and talking with a serious expression – who knows how he wanted to persuade Andy…

“Martin, no…” I began but he already pushed the phone under Dave’s nose with that picture where Dave sleeps with the pyramid on his tummy.

Dave’s voice failed him for a moment as he started chuckling when he saw the pic on Mart’s cell and he spanked Mart’s butt.

“Hey, I have no clothes on! This hurt!” he got out of Dave’s reach quickly. Now I couldn’t stop laughing either – although I tried to hold myself back because of Andy, but it sounded rather like an asthmatic rush.

Then we could hear Dave’s explanations and at the end he hung up. “And you’re wondering why he doesn’t want to come with us after this? He apologized and mentioned some band-stuff to do” he looked at Martin, who was lying half-way on the bed, propping his head on my butt as I was lying on my tummy, still giggling time after time.

“He’s good at this. And you, you want another tickling-attack?” he pinched my thigh under the bathrobe.

“Of course!” I answered.

“Me on one side and Mart on the other?” Dave nuzzled to me with his whole body. I thought high voltage shot through my body when he touched me – he had such an effect on me. I moaned loudly and already sighed a big one as Martin’s hands pulled me closer to him.

“Don’t think that I’ll let him have you this easily” he whispered into my ear.

“You will, you will, just watch!” grinned David. He began caressing my body – starting from my neck and going further down. As an answer Martin did the same from behind, softly biting my shoulders “Shouldn’t we still call Andy?” he asked.

“No chance that I could handle the three of you in the same time…” I sighed then grinned “Although if you already brought it up, I must confess that my favourite was always Andy, and I just try to use you two to get closer to him, but you can see how he cuts off every opportunity…”

“Oh my god, Dave! A Fletch-fan! Let’s stuff her so that the next generations can see her!”

“What a great idea! Let’s – stuff – her!”

“Oh give me a break! What’s with the swimming?”

“Don’t you want to know how we want to stuff you?” licked Martin the sensitive area behind my ear, which caused goose bumps everywhere.

“I can guess it” I turned my face to him, but grabbing my chin Dave turned me back to him just to reach under my robe by my chest.

“And don’t you want it?”

“Of course I want it. Both of you in the same time?”

“Sure. We said we’ll stuff you, didn’t we? My dearest friend, would you be so kind and start the operation?” said Dave to Mart, who pressed his whole body against my back.

“Immediately, my friend, immediately” and I felt his fingers as he started stroking me. David did the same from the front and I tried to prepare myself for the shock.

“Have I told you that I gladly take the role of the victim in this case?” I sighed a big one as my head bent back and against Martin’s head, but he avoided it and kissed into my neck.

“Yeah, just take deep breaths and relax” Martin suggested as he was rubbing me more passionately. I felt his cock hardening by the small of my back and I felt the same from Dave between my thighs. And I felt myself spiraling downwards in my desire after them. I couldn’t say anything to this, I rather tried to obey and relax with closed eyes as I took deep breaths, but I had to moan from Dave’s fast strokes and touches. The bathrobe was half-way down my shoulders and Dave pushed the end of it up onto my waist. Martin caught Dave’s right hand and led it between my legs to take the rubbing over while he pulled the robe down from my shoulder and stroked himself along a few times. He kissed my shoulder-blade and shoulder again.

“Prep yourself, kitty…” he whispered gently. This had the opposite effect on me – instead of relaxing, my whole body tensed. “Now, okay?” he nodded to Dave, who was holding me firmly from the other side. And Martin – like a good worker – spit into his palm. I could feel as he wet himself and me too then all I could feel was just Martin – deeper and deeper. He was doing it slowly, making small and gentle circles, squirming a bit, but doing it steadily. I wanted to scream, but Dave was kissing me too deep. So I was whimpering into his mouth.

“Does it hurt, kitty?” leant Martin closer, gasping “Do you want me to stop?”

“No-hooo” I said, not really sure that I said the truth “You’re just so big – jeez – Mart, this is good! More!” I changed my tone as I started to get used to the feeling.

“Of course it’s good” murmured Dave and with his usual impatience he entered me really gently from the front too. I couldn’t believe that they hadn’t torn me apart and that this could be this great! But now I couldn’t bear not to scream my joy out loud. I dug my nails deep into Dave’s shoulder. I nearly died from the pleasure I felt, although they’d barely started! Martin Gore and Dave Gahan in me in the same time! This was much more than my brain could take. I didn’t give a damn when Dave hissed. I grabbed his hand which was caressing my face and broke our kiss, just to take his index and middle finger into my mouth, sucking on them lusciously. I don’t know how this idea came into my mind, but it seemed it was a good one. Yes, it was definitely a good one, I just left out of the account that this’d just excite this beast even more. He put his other fingers – one after the other – into my mouth and with his wet digits he started to stroke my breast in quicker concentric circles.

“Come on, Dave! Don’t hold yourself back…” I whispered stroking along on his back and butt just to grab it hard then I reached back to Martin and dug my fingers into his hair. He slightly turned his head to the side and with closed eyes he kissed along my inner arm.

The synch swimmers know nothing about the essence of this thing. This was sport what they were doing to me. Yes. They were moving not in the same time, but completing each other – they were moving in an unbelievable unison! As crazy I was, antique clocks came into my mind. Although those wouldn’t pant into my ears in an accelerating pace. And Dave hadn’t held himself back – he threw his hips forward and started to sprint, I think he even neighed.

They sent me higher and higher, but they were still able to hold themselves back, so I couldn’t climax before them. I scratched, bit, stroked and kissed them wherever I was able to reach them, trying not to disturb their rhythm. But it seemed I wouldn’t have been able to do so anyway. They were holding me and moving in me with such steadiness that it surprised me. I was moaning louder and couldn’t believe that Dave’s skin wasn’t hurt as my hard nipples pressed against his chest. It hurt for me! But otherwise Dave likes pain – he even searches for it. Well, it’d be interesting to know what he really likes in bed and maybe even trying it out with him… ‘Rough sex, that is’ – he said this, huh… Rough – but for which half? Okay, here I stop my sexual-psychological studies. Hmm… but I guess I wouldn’t be able to hurt him, even if he asked for it. Here the thing’d fail already.

Now Martin was yelling loudly and Dave was just moaning as his hips were moving in a terrific pace then Dave and I… we lived through the overwhelming orgasm together, falling on each others necks. How good it is being a lover. What a beautiful word this is! Then with a harder push I felt Martin cum too. It was impossible not noticing it, cuz his last move was a bit rough, but I didn’t mind it too much. The fierce pleasure and satisfaction in my body suppressed that little pain.


	15. Chapter 15

15.

 

“No comment boys… or… just… that your poor victim nearly burst during the stuffing…” I was gasping for air still, my face buried into Dave’s chest, hugging his waist.

“But the stuffing was profound, wasn’t it?” panted Martin.

“Yep, profound” I answered and enjoyed that they were still resting inside me “Huh, now I can check off some things on my things-I-want-to-do-before-I-die list.”

“Don’t tell this was on your mind!”

“It was” I confessed without hesitation “Exactly this. No, don’t get me wrong – not with two guys, but with exactly these two guys.”

“I take it as a compliment, alright” puffed Martin into my ear.

“It was a compliment” I turned my head towards him as much as I could and he gave a peck onto the edge of my mouth.

“And what else are on your list? Can we fulfill something else for you?” David stroked along my collarbone. I looked back at him and I accidentally moved my hips a bit, which was followed with two small sighs.

“Sorry, boys…” I smiled.

“Don’t hold yourself back, sweetie, go on” said Dave.

“Well, my list looks like something like this: singing with my heroes – check, making love to my heroes – check, asking the tooth fairy why she was that stingy, giving me just a coin each time… uh no, no this isn’t actual anymore…” Both of them were laughing now. “Uh and one more thing: the ‘live happily ever after’.”

“This can still come true…” noted Dave holding back his voice, cuz I obeyed and hadn’t stopped moving my hips slowly. I loved “torturing” them a bit.

“Hmm… possible… And you two give me a good start, boys” I circled a bit more.

Mart sighed into my back, which sent crawlies along my spine.

“What are you doing, you little demon?” he breathed into my ear.

“Hmm… something improper? I’m just enjoying that I have some influence on you.”

“Just don’t regret it at the end…” Dave reached under my chin and slid his tongue into my mouth, kissing me nearly wildly. Martin’s hands started to move on my body too, but he rather slid out of me – which caused a moan into Dave’s mouth from me. Was Mart tired from our evil duo?

“Dave, if you stuff our kitty again, you won’t be able to persuade me that you’re not taking Viagra!” he noted, sitting up.

From the laughing I bit down on Dave’s tongue, which made him cry out.

“Yes indeed! I’ll stuff her again! We’ll play teletubby!”

“Oh god, what?”

“You know like in tubby when they say ‘again and again’. And no, my blonde Prince, I don’t take Viagra – if I had to, I rather let myself castrate and then I’ll need to sing Gregorians on my next solo album!”

We were laughing like mad. Oh god, I’ve heard him in my head as he was singing in a high tone ‘Hallelujah, Hallelujah!’.

“You really are stupid!” I added laughing.

“You’d rather see us as gloomy forties, who’re mourning over their past years? No way! Never! I rather stay childlike and frivolous. Or we can say boisterous” he straightened his body on the bed, but a smile was hiding on his face.

“Oh well, you’re right” I shrugged a little and grabbed him as I slid him out of me “Well, honey we were talking about some ‘ramming’, weren’t we?”

“Hey, kitty! You want to use me this much?”

“No, I don’t want just to use you… You know, I’m a kitty who’s addicted to pleasure, and who loves when someone’s pampering her…” I breathed into his neck, purring a little, while my interest turned towards his cock held between my fingers.

Martin locked eyes with Dave slightly surprised “You’d live through a nuclear war too, right?” asked Mart.

“Haha, yes, if you’re talking about this thing in my hand. It’s rather that I go crazy for Dave and until someone pulls me off of him, I’ll cling to him” I laughed.

As Dave was kneeling on the bed, he straightened his back “See, Martin, this is something! She’s some girl!”

“You don’t have to flatter me, Dave” I stroked him up and down harder and he needed to groan from this as he sat back onto his heels. My lips were already stuck to his chest, like a leech “Just stop me when you get bored” I murmured, looking up at him playfully as I went lower on his abs.

“Stopping you? Me? Why should I do something like that? Go on, honey – we should show something for Martin, me thinks he’d like to see something exciting.”

“Do it in a way I can resist jumping on you two! Although – I must confess – that’ll be quite hard now” he looked down at his groin.

“Nothing’s impossible, is it, Dave?”

“That’s right!”

For a while I was entertaining myself before my lips could found his hardness again. With my free hand I reached up to stroke Dave’s chest, while I gave small kisses and bites onto his lower tummy, sometimes I even licked his skin. I was moving downwards very slowly, while my right hand was moving up and down his length in a gentle but steady rhythm, warming up him for my mouth. I pushed my suffering victim a bit more onto his heels as he was sitting in the middle of the bed, digging into my hair.

“Wait, kitty, my leg went numb. I lay down, okay?” asked Dave and laid down onto the sheets, resting his head on Martin’s naked lap, who started stroking his head gently and automatically – like people who know and love each other for a long while.

I didn’t say a word, I was just staring at them for a few moments and leaning over Dave I kissed him softly then I offered my lips for Martin too. He didn’t waste the chance, although I felt on his weak kisses that he’d need more to get excited again. Maybe he didn’t even want it? I wouldn’t blame him for that, he knows his limits. While I was kissing Martin, I felt Dave’s hands stroking along my thighs. He managed to open the tight bundle by my waist and pushed the robe onto the floor – it landed there for the third time this morning…

I pushed my hair aside and leant to him to ease the hunger of my lips. Then I started moving downwards again. I took him into my right and my lips were wandering soon by his lower tummy. I felt his taut muscles on his stomach and I stroked them one by one. He shivered from my touches. I felt his desire and this made me happy again. I went on with his torture – sometimes glancing up at Mart, who was still stroking Dave’s temple, face and hair, watching us. I licked along a long line very near to Dave’s rock-hard cock, which I was still pampering with my fingers. I knew that during the licking a few mops of my hair brushed along his skin, but I haven’t paid attention to it. His hand fisted in my hair.

“Kitty, do you want me to tell you Dave’s weak point? Just in case you want to control him. It’s quite handy when he plays the stubborn.”

“Martin, don’t you dare!” Dave flashed his panther-like eyes “I’ll take revenge on you if you do what you’re about to do!” said Dave and one of his hands reached backwards lazily into Mart’s lap.

“Hmm… let’s hear it, let’s hear it! I want to know how I can put him into place when needed” I scratched along Dave’s tummy softly.

“You have to do it, not hearing it. I show you.”

“No, Mart, nooo!”

“But I will, David. Kitty, hold him stronger, cuz he’ll prance” Martin warned me and leant to David’s neck, who was already squeaking. We were an interesting scenery.

I held my darling down as much as I was able with one hand – and with the other one I held him in check by grabbing his cock firmer. I was watching what Martin was doing. Although Dave tensed his whole body with all of his strength to resist, his blonde lover turned his head to the side and freed his nape. He ran his fingers in Dave’s hair, just over his nape. Dave stopped resisting and held his breathe back, waiting and letting Mart have his neck. Blondie started biting his nape warily but intensively with his nippers. Dave seemed dying from this.

“Uh, boys, I swear this is the best movie I’ve ever seen” I moaned staring at them, storing this small but very useful information about Dave “And Mart… did you find this out all by yourself?” I asked then I took Dave deep into my mouth, stimulating his tilt with the ring of my fingers. I guessed that this change between us was quite thrilling for our lark, who was at our mercy.

“By myself, sure. You’re the first one who can see it – cuz you’ve seen everything already – I thought just for completeness’ sake.”

“Martin, I want to ask you something” said Dave, but his eyes were on me, cuz suddenly I took him into my mouth again, moving up and down his length fiercely.

“Tell me, luv!”

“Hey Martin, I… I’ve found… a… a…”

“What, Davie?”

“So… ahh… kitty, who – Jesus – Mart… I want to keep her… She’s a maverick and wild kitty, I know… UH! But she can nestle to me sooo kindly…. Nooo…”

“Do you know that your communication isn’t that coherent?” asked Mart and after he lifted Dave’s head, he continued biting his nape “By the way it’s okay. She’s a pretty and nice and clever kitty. Then we have a kitty, Dave!”

I smiled as I looked at them with my piercing eyes, licking along Dave, joshing. This time I really felt myself like a real cat, which’s playing with her fine snack. When I reached its tip, my smile got wider “Meow… You’re good, Marty” I stroked along Dave’s length again.

Mart glimpsed down at me with an eye, but stayed by the sensitive area “See, Dave? You’re right, she’s a grateful kitty…”

“Uhmpf… yeah… It’s madness… what she can… do… with her little… tongue…” he gulped a big one.

“A lonely cat loves when someone takes her in…” I noted, smiling at them playfully then I knelt above Dave “And if you’re this kind to me… Dave, let me show you that this kitty has not just a skilled tongue…” I licked my mouth, while I grabbed his cock and sank onto it. He was incredibly hard. I barely could suppress a groan, but somehow I managed. Cats are sly and don’t put every card onto the table. “Now you can check how I can feel the rhythm. One, two, three…”

“No, not this, kitty don’t! Jeez, Martin and you… noo..” We stopped in the same time and were waiting for the effect. “Hey, what’s now?” he stared at us with round eyes.

“You wanted us to stop” answered Martin.

“I meant to go on!” And we went on just to hear again: “Oh, no…”  
What an evasive man!

“Come on, Dave… don’t hold back! I wanna hear you” I looked down at him, while I made some wide circles with my hips.

“I…”

“You’ve heard her, Davey, our little cat wants a concert…” Blondie whispered into his ear and softly bit his earlobe before returning to his favourite area, while he was caressing his neck and shoulder.

“Tell me what you want me to do! Moaning or singing? You’re insane!”

“With the concert part Martin meant the groaning, I guess…” I noted and felt as a sweat drop started to slide down along my spine. Biting down on my lips I opened my legs even wider to have our hero’s whole length in me. He grabbed my hip with his left hand and with his right he found a way into Mart’s lap.

“Exactly” Mart panted onto Dave’s nape.

“Hmm… I’m not that quiet type anyway, but what you two do to me… Mart, slide a little bit closer, please, I wanna feel you” he sighed straight into my mouth. I don’t have to mention that he drove me crazy with this, right? Blondie obeyed and moaned right away, pulling away from Dave’s nape for a moment as he threw his head back in his pleasure. And this was the last drop for me! I started a fast pace with my body and I leant to Martin, pushing my lips hard against his.

Dave wasn’t there with us anymore. His hand would have slid off of Martin’s hardness, if he didn’t grab his wrist and put it back on him, holding Dave’s hand on his cock with his left. Dave was in his happy place – he rattled once or twice then he was lying under me motionless. His hand went limp too so Martin – who was worked up already – didn’t let his hand go, but pressed it harder against his shaft, moving it up and down faster. And I had no intentions to let Martin’s mouth go. Because my body was moving slow now on Dave, I could deepen the kiss with Blondie. My little plaything was lying under me non-usably. Mart grabbed my tit with his free hand and I groaned into his mouth. We looked at each other and there was an unspoken agreement in our eyes again.

“Wait, Mart, let Davie-boy rest, okay?”

“That’d be really good” whimpered our victim “Now that you’re already standing, would you be so kind and help me with my rehydration?”

“You wanna drink?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, I’m bringing it right away. Evian?”

“No, I don’t like it. Next to it there’s Mountain Dew. Bubble-free, please.”

“Here it is.”

“Thanks. No offence meant, but I turn around and rest a bit, okay? Do you have a blanket?”

“Here you are” I said and put it around him. Meanwhile Martin was searching for something in his stuff.

“Put this on, kitty, I mesmerize you” he said and put a blindfolder into my hand.

“Wow… what’re you up to, Marty?”

“Just for some fun” he winked with an evil grin.

“It sounds really good, but uh-oh… Should I ruffle my fur and let my claws out?” I smiled, sitting down onto my leg, while my other foot was still on the ground and I pulled the blindfolder’s rubber.

“No, no. You don’t have to fear, this old man won’t hurt you” he licked the edge of his mouth “Come on, put it on!” he rushed me.

“Okay, okay” and I put it onto my head and darkness came upon my eyes…

“Well, now you should guess when and what I’m doing to you and with what kind of object!”

“I tell you right now that you stuff me completely and with your high-tech tool!”

“Hey, no. Let your fantasy go. There’s life beyond this, you know!”

“Okay, okay. You made me curious” I nodded smiling “And if I guess it right, what’ll be my reward?”

“Cat-food?” he laughed.

“Hmm… yummy, we love that” I shook my shoulders playfully and I propped myself on one hand then when he gestured, I lay down on the bed.

“Right. Now lay still. What’s this?” I felt something run down my chest – it was hot and fragrant, lemon with bergamot.

“This is easy – Earl Grey tea from breakfast.”

“Wow, you’re senses are sharp” he noted.

“Cats have better senses. And they’re sensitive too. I thought you knew this” I smiled while I answered and waited for the next move. Now I felt something cool and soft stroking along my upper body. I shivered from the feeling as the stuff touched my skin and I felt my nipples hardening. “I’d say it’s silk” I whispered, stretching my body.

“You’re clever, kitty” he pulled the fabric down to my thighs as he was sitting next to my waist. I heard that he reached for another item “And what’s this?” It was a strange feeling. He pulled along something between my breasts.

“Repeat it please. It was too short” I asked, pushing an index finger to my chin, trying to sharpen my senses more. He repeated it without a word then drew circles with that something around my breasts then went down to my tummy with it. It touched my skin in a nice way, it was soft too, but not as soft as silk and it was a bit harsher. While he stroked along my collarbones with it, I smelled its flavour. “A rose from one of the vases” I smiled.

“It is and if I prick you with it, it’ll hurt, right?”

“Violator Rose, don’t hurt me, love me!”

“I will” he whispered into my ear and pulled something along my groin. It was soft and hard in the same time, warm and quite big. And I knew what it was even with closed eyes.

“Uhhh… Martin… Me thinks, I already had the chance to meet this one…”

“Really? When? I can’t remember…”

“What?! I’ll scratch you!” I yelled indignantly and tried to peek out from under the blindfolder, but he grabbed my wrist and pinned it to the sheet.

“Do you want to feel it elsewhere than your skin, too?”

“I want to take a much closer look.”

“Okay, but then don’t you dare to say I’m not fulfilling every wish of yours” he said and slid into me.

“And the game?” I moaned.

“Now we play something else… you’re mommy and I’m daddy…”

“That’s… a great game” I sighed pushing my head against the pillow. Every kiss and move was sudden for me, cuz I couldn’t see. This started to turn me on even more. “It was always among my favourite games…” I moved my hips a few times, joshing with him, which caused a groan from him and he slid deeper into me. Oh my gosh, he was so huge!

It was clear for me that he decided he was cold outside, so like the wolf from the tale, he wanted to get inside. Completely. Martin tried and tried and first I was just whimpering quietly, but as the tissues got more flexible and I let his full cock inside me, I was yelling out loud. David turned to his other side and hissed at us. What a surprise! Silence or not silence, I’ve continued practicing the scales in soprano.

“Oh, my fucking god!!!” I screamed in Hungarian too, searching for something I could grab with my hands, cuz I thought I’d die there. Finally I reached over my head and grabbed the low board by the end of the bed firmly. I guess I was screaming with quite a volume. My face sometimes strained into a painful grimace.

“I knew kitty that you’ll let me in… Your screaming is so fucking hot! Don’t stop it!”

“I… I… wouldn’t…be able… to stop… anyway…”

“Lift your legs and put them onto my shoulders. I’ll give you something you’ll never forget. And after that we repeat the voting about who the better lover is – the greedy one or the profound.”

“Oh my god, Martin! I won’t survive this!” I moaned out loud, but followed his order. My whole groin was straining from him. I felt myself like a stuffed chicken during a secret night-snack session. I don’t know how on earth I could think about something like that in such a situation, but I felt this way. And he just came and came! I was curious how much more he can give me. “Legs on your shoulders… ready… to go… Show me… what you’ve got!” I faltered out in-between moans.

And he’d shown me. He pushed his thick shaft forward and upwards – stimulating every sensitive area possible. He wasn’t fast, but stuck to his own stiff pace. I felt heat wash over me, I felt my whole body shaking and I knew it’s over for me. It was a surprise for me that I could scream louder, but I did… I really wanted to pay attention to Dave and tried not to disturb his sleep! To muffle my screams I bit down on my lip – but it was useless, I just draw blood there – so I stayed by me forearm instead, using it as a pillow. The marks of my teeth were clearly visible on my skin, but I didn’t give a damn. I threw the blindfolder onto the floor. I wanted to see Martin! First my vision was blurry, but then I managed to clear it and focus on Martin. He held my gaze for a moment.

“Mart… Mart!” I whimpered between two groans.

“It’s good, kitty, isn’t it? I want you to enjoy it. I want to see you lose self-control… I want to see you cum… I want to know that I make you happy” he panted “I want this to be something else…”

For a whole minute I couldn’t speak just moan loudly. I’ve heard his words, but I wasn’t able to clear my thoughts enough to answer him properly. Even Hungarian was difficult in this situation. Every cell in my body was screaming after him!

“Oh god!” I groaned faintly “Mart… Martin… you’re on… the right way!” I grabbed the sheet with such force that my fingers turned to white and the mattress gave out a complaining sound when my nails scratched it. “It’s something… else” I added pushing my head backwards “Yes… it’s something else! Martin, Maartiin, Mart, more, more, please more! Martiiin, it’s so good! Please, more, Maaartiiin…”

I was totally out of my mind! It was incredible what he was doing to me! It was really novel, intense and profound! I couldn’t enjoy his moves enough and I thought I’d die there! Really! I didn’t know that I was able to moan this way, but I could! Curly mesmerized me completely! Master Martin knew a few things, if he really gave his best. Now Dave was standing next to the couch, arms folded in front of his chest, and he was encouraging Martin.

“What’re you doing here?” asked Martin not too keenly.

“Nothing, Marty, I just wanted to tell you that I go now. I’ll come back after a while, okay?”

“But where are you going, Dave?”

But the answer was nowhere and Martin concentrated on me with his full attention again. Somehow in that moment I didn’t really wanted to know where Dave’d gone. I was just grabbing that fucking sheet desperately.

“Martin! You kill me! I’ll die!” I screamed again. I started to lose connection with reality. It was so good that it nearly hurt!

“Just a minute, sweetie, just a minute” said Marty as he got closer and closer to his own climax too.

I couldn’t react – I was totally in another place. His overwhelming hard cock deep inside me drove me crazy. I felt everything and nothing in the same time! This adorable guy did something to me, which maybe even Dave could not have been able to do! And this is really something! His size, his temper, the passion in his moves, his voice and his eyes… every one of these let me know that this was much more than I would have ever imagined about him! Between my wild screams and groans I felt that I had just a few seconds left before I cum… Maybe two moments passed and my whole body tensed in a nearly painful arch, but I felt only my enormous and sudden orgasm, exploding deep inside me.

Martin came too – my body twitching under him and my passionate kiss pushed him off the cliff – I saw him bend his head as deep as his muscles in his neck allowed and I felt as his body – with a last wild push – moved into mine then he strained. After it he was just lying on me, stroking my face again and again with his shaking hand.


	16. Chapter 16

16.

 

In the silence just our panting could be heard. Martin was whispering sweet little nothings into my ear, although I couldn’t get every of them, cuz I was still somewhere else. My hands were still grabbing that unlucky sheet desperately as I was panting towards the ceiling. I still couldn’t think straight, although a few minutes from that wonderful moment had already passed. Blondie shocked me. Completely.

“Thank you Martin for this unforgettable experience.”

“Hmm, I thank you too. You’re so sensual – passion runs in your veins – I love it!”

“Oh come on, Mart, give me a break.”

“But you really are adorable. You know, David’d asked something. You know what, don’t you?”

“I think so. If it’s okay for me being his lover.”

“No. He asked me if it was okay for you to be our lover.”

For a moment I was just looking straight into his green eyes, which were shining contentedly, but they were serious too.

“You’re kidding! You really want me to have a heart attack?!” I leant back on the sheet, pressing a pillow to my chest, hiding my face in it. Even just the opportunity evoked dirty and happy thoughts in my mind. There were a lot of them. I can’t believe this! – it ran through my mind.

“So, what’d you say?” he asked and it was as if he had an uncertain look now.

“Martin, I don’t… I can’t…”

“You don’t want it? Isn’t it okay for you this way?”

“Martin, honey, I just can’t believe it… just can’t believe it…”

“We thought you already know everything and you’d slept with both of us and you’re fantastic in bed – I can say this without any doubts. You’re curious, ready for challenges and brave. You did everything we wanted, although I’m sure these aren’t in your daily routine.”

“True. But you two – you are my gods! Martin, are you two serious? Isn’t this some kinda joke or bet? I’d do anything for you – anything. I’d duck walk to LA, or I’d be a greyhound on the race field in London - for a year! Look into my eyes and answer me!”

“I never, ever play with someone else’s emotions. Never. There were too many people who did that to me – too many times. I know how painful that is” he answered. I didn’t say a word, just hugged his neck – nearly strangling him.

“And Dave?” I asked.

“If he wants something, he can be somewhat manipulative and pushy, but this means just influencing, not lies. He’s a very straight man and tries to be correct with everyone. Well, he’s hot-headed, but you love that he’s this warm-blooded, right?”

“Of course. It’s more than some piety I feel. I love him.”

“This is why I told Dave that it’s okay. Look at me now! David is the most important person for me. If you harness him, or you misuse his emotions, I won’t be gentle with you.”

He totally shocked me. He didn’t say not to play with him… He feared for his other lover. He really… feared for him. I pulled a bit back, so I could see into his eyes more comfortably. I didn’t break the serious eye-contact, but I stroked his nape. My eyes were serious as I was looking into his. I was studying his face and all those things which his last sentence could have meant. All those things I knew from them and which I’d lived through with them. Just with them.

“If you ask me, I’ll swear to everything which’s sacred for me, that I will never hurt him or you or anyone who’s important to you willingly.”

“Alright. Accepted. I’m sorry, that I was harsher, but, but…” he looked away and avoided my gaze.

“Martin, I…”

“No, don’t say anything… please. This passion kills me… this… this…”

“Love?”

He looked at me and repeated “This love… yes.” He stood up and went to the fridge then he drank four big gulps from the whisky bottle. “Don’t say a word. You love me this way or in no way at all” he moaned.

“I love you this way.”

“Come, come into my arms! You have to get used to us. We aren’t like others. This is a terrible love – it’ll hurt you. Are you sure you want this?”

“If it hurts then at least I feel that I’m still alive” I answered and smiled at him “I’ll hold your head, if you’ll need that, hon…”

“And you’ll search David with me, if he disappears! Where’s he?” he looked up at the clock.

“Don’t worry, he’s a big boy, he knows what he’s doing.”

“You’re wrong in everything you’ve just said.”

“Cuz you’re worried and he’s often like a little boy, who doesn’t know what he does?” I looked into his eyes again while I slowly broke free from his arms and reached for the bottle to put its cup back to its place – this was one of my habits – but then I’ve changed my mind and sipped from it. I never liked whiskey, but now I thought I could use a bit after all these excitements. A grimace ran through my face then I screwed the cup back and put the bottle back to its place, then I turned back to Mart.

“I’m really worried. He’s lazy, but when he dashes away like this… When he’s like this, something gets into his mind. You can’t guess what he’ll do next time. And after I go totally crazy with my worries, he usually just walks into the room and pretends that he was there the whole time, sitting in the living room watching telly. This’d be still okay, but sometimes he doesn’t come back for days. I have no idea where he goes those times and when he turns up, he looks awful. He’s full of bruises and oh God help me… It occurred that I’ve found him in unbelievable places, in impossible conditions…”

“Is this… because of his depression?” I asked quietly and carefully, looking at Mart’s collarbones where the late morning’s sunlight broke in a strange angle.

“No, or that’s just one part of it. It’s his nature – even as a kid he was like this. But back then I hadn’t been worried about him this much. I call Jonathan and if he doesn’t know where he is, we go after him, kitty, okay?”

“Sure. I’m worried now too. Martin, if we hadn’t been making love, you wouldn’t let him go, right?”

“I wouldn’t have been able to hold him back, Dave isn’t functioning like that. No one had been able to tame him – and I had no intentions to do so. I need every knowledge of a whisperer to make him stay, or if he doesn’t stay, then to persuade him to come back. He’s a beautiful and noble stallion, but no one can tame him. I don’t want to see him tamed, but I would be happy if he was a bit gentler.”

“What you couldn’t done alone, now maybe with my help we’ll be able to do it. I don’t want to change him either, just tame him a little bit – so you wouldn’t have to worry that much about him. You know… it’s still strange for me what you’ve got together, but I find this world beautiful. It opens its petals slowly in front of me” I stroked his back then let him go and I went to the bathroom, letting him call Kessler.

I could hear Martin’s voice in the bathroom until I let the water run and I’ve started washing my skin, which was blue and green in a few places then I washed my hair disheveled hair too. He was explaining the situation for Jonathan vividly, but I couldn’t hear it clearly. I was sure it was about Dave’s newly disappearance. Well maybe he just went to Andy or he was there somewhere in the hotel. I don’t know him that well that I could know what he usually does and how he does his things. To tell the truth, beside satisfying their needs, I didn’t known too much about them – except the things I’d already read during the years. But since I bumped into Fletch yesterday, I could take a peek behind the scenes. And it was amazing that they let me know this much! And they wanted me to be their lovers… THEIR lovers! I guess I’ll die sooner than the rest. The danger of a heart attack’ll be very high, if they really want this. But if they’re just playing with me then… then I can’t do anything against that either, I’ll just go home and that’s it. But it doesn’t seem like they are just playing with me.

\---

I was as quick as it was possible – I didn’t want to make Martin wait for me. I still thought about being there with them like a gift, although I liked my conscious self better, it was too tired now so this flexible side of me stayed.

Martin came into the bathroom still naked, putting his cell onto the basin’s edge. Out there I thought I’ve got used to the nudity they made in front of me, but I was wrong. I needed to gulp again, but I held myself back. We had to hurry anyway and on the other hand, my body would have been able to handle it again. I still felt the effects of the last two sex we had.

“Did you find something out? Did Jonathan say something?”

“Well one’s for sure: Dave hadn’t asked his permission. Neither John, nor Andy knows where he is. And what’s the worst is Darren has no clue either…”

“Darren?”

“Dave’s personal bodyguard. Now that Daryl had died, there’s no one who can put me into bed when I’m drunk, or to lure Dave back. He was a professional… Rest in peace, dude…”

“And now?”

“Now we’ll search for the pin in the haystack.”

“Or we can follow the girls’ screams and the trail of fainting fans.”

“Don’t think that it’s like that. No one can recognize him. He hadn’t left in black suits. Jeans, rusty T-shirt and a baseball cap. You wouldn’t give a second glance even if he was standing right next to you.”

“Perhaps. Did he take a car?”

“Don’t think so – he never does when he disappears like this – cuz it’d be easy to trace – first the car then him. He went on foot. And damn me if he didn’t know already where he was going. He seemed very purposeful. I think he called someone then off he went. He’s like my dog was – in the moment the door was open he ran out of the house. Although he loved us he loved bitches better, you know… Then a car hit him.”

“Bitches? He’s after girls?”

“Don’t think so either. Although he’s a great lover, Superman’d died last year.”

I couldn’t hide a smile while I rubbed his body with the shower gel.

“You know him better. Let’s see what we know. So… don’t you remember where you’d gone last time you were in Hungary?” I asked while I washed his left arm.

“I can’t remember too much. I was drunk half of the time. He likes the pubs in the castle district, but that wouldn’t be a secret to keep. Honestly, I don’t know. Do you have any ideas where Dave Gahan would go in Budapest?”

“If I knew in what kind of mood he was when he’d left, it would be a great help. Was he okay recently?”

“Yeah. He wasn’t depressed or something like that.”

“Okay then. And usually what does he like to do when you arrive to a city? Wasn’t there a certain place which he liked here in Budapest? Which he’d mentioned? Don’t you remember anything?” I asked again and turned him around so I was able to wash his back properly too. For a minute I sank into my thoughts “One place pops up in my mind when I think of him – the National Museum. Dunno why, but because of his artistic vein I’ve imagined that when you’re here, he wants to see some exhibition. But now I don’t know if there was something like that in the museum and if he was ready to leave us behind with such grit and élan just for something like this. What do you think? Can he be there?”

“This suddenly? Even if Dali’d resurrected and had signed his works to give them to Dave as a present, I wouldn’t think it could be possible.”

“So then?”

“Can I join you too? Were you worried about me? Look what I’ve brought for you!”

“Dave!” I jumped into his neck in relief, not giving a damn what he’d brought. If he didn’t come back, we would have had to search for the pin in the haystack. And that was the last one I wanted to do. “Of course we were worried about you!” I kissed his face all over.

“But I just went to pick up what I’ve ordered for us and I’ve told the hotel crew that we’ll go down soon, cuz they’re keeping the sauna warm for us and everything’s closed for our request. Fancy going down to swim?”

“Sure. We’d forgotten about that.”

Martin remained silent, but I saw that he was angry with himself assuming the worst and was relieved that his love was here with us, healthily. He looked up at Dave from under the water, but with such an intense gaze that I saw Dave taking a deep breath, his whole body shivering.

“Me too, Martin, believe me. Me too” and he stepped under the shower, next to Martin, fully dressed. I reached for a towel and turning away I’ve started drying myself. When I was ready, I picked up a brush and standing in front of the mirror, I tried to brush my hair somehow. Of course it wasn’t easy to concentrate on my task, cuz from the mirror I was discretely peeking at them. Then I’ve decided to leave them alone. The’ve started kissing each other with such desire… I rather closed the door behind me. I guess it was good for them to have some private minutes for themselves – I felt the same, cuz we were together for quite a long time now.

I didn’t want to disturb them. I rather grabbed my cell phone to call one of my friends to tell something for my boss to leave me alone for a couple of days. She asked me about the situation, but because the boys were expecting discretion from me – although they didn’t say it out loud – I gave her an evasive answer. In turn I felt with every passing minute that I needed to share this with someone! I’ll explode if I can’t say it to someone whom I trust. But I didn’t want to abuse their trust. I rather hung up and got dressed. I had no intentions to walk along the hotel’s corridors in a bathrobe.

Poor Dave – we didn’t appreciate his present too much. He had no time to show it us yet, I thought then walked to the window and looked down to the street. I thought I’ve seen a few Depeche fan down there. It was incredibly odd that the situation had changed and now I’m inside here. I gulped a big one when I’ve heard their echoing deep moans time after time. I so wanted to see what they does when they knows they’re alone. But it wouldn’t have been decent. I felt my self very strange. I sat down into an armchair with a cup of tea to think a bit.

But my thoughts got always distracted with the louder moans. Knowing that the heroes of my life were dealing with each other rather intensely in the bathroom, drove me crazy! Then they calmed down a bit and I was grabbing the cup’s ear so hard that my fingers turned to white. The tea was already cold.

Dave peeked out, wearing nothing “Are you still here, kitty? The present I brought… please, bring it out, cuz it’ll go to waste. We’re coming too. Hm, if Mart can stand up.”

“What did you do to him?”

“Who? Me? Hey, what did HE do to ME?” and then he came out of the bathroom a bit more and seeing his chest I understood what he’d meant. “He paid back for everything I’d done to him. The passionate and wild Mr. Martin L. Gore” he tucked his head back to the bathroom, addressing this last sentence to the other guy who was slowly getting up from the floor.

Jesus Christ, what did they do to each other? – I thought as Dave wobbled into the room discretely. For a minute I couldn’t even move – I was just grabbing that damned cup even harder – and first I was looking at Dave with round eyes, who had red and purple bruises not just on his chest, then at Martin, who appeared in the door – all wet, full of little injures, leaning against the doorframe. He glimpsed at Dave with his tired eyes, but I could still see the fire in them. They were glistening with such a fire that if I was Dave, I would have burned to ashes right away. I suspected that if they weren’t this tired, Blondie would have caught Dave again, who was sitting down carefully onto the white couch, touching his bloody lip.

Then I came back to reality from his compelling gaze and closed my mouth to get up. I said nothing just approached the bathroom. Only Mart was like a little retentiveness as he was leaning against the doorframes with his hands. I looked him in the eyes. I’d never seen him like this! His irises seemed to whirl. He was totally different! Demonic! Diabolical! ‘There’s a devil waiting outside your door…’ He was that devil!

I stepped into the bathroom a bit panting – the place looked like a battlefield slippery from water. I didn’t dare to look around too much, I just took notice with one glimpse that a lot of things were lying about. Like after a nuclear explosion. I quickly picked up Dave’s bag and ran for the door. Martin was looking at me. I won’t deny that for a moment I was afraid from his green eyes, which seemed to gloom. Whom had I let into my bed?

“Here’s your bag, Davie. Yummy, yummy. So you brought choc!”

“No-no. It’s bio carob with spinach” he answered indignantly and took out an enormous box from the bag. He opened it. There was a huge chocolate parfé cake inside, which’d already started to melt by the edges. Obviously it couldn’t take half an hour from the bathroom’s steamy air. Dave pushed a piece to his mouth and not into his mouth.

“Do you want me to order some ice instead?” I asked sitting next to him and dug my finger into the melted edge of the cake to taste it.

“No, it doesn’t matter. This’ll be enough” he answered and ate the piece of cake.

“Mart, don’t you want to try it?” I looked at him questioningly “It’s delicious” I took another piece.

“Yeah, I try it too” he sat down really close to Dave, embracing his shoulder, pulling him to him and like a purring cat Dave let him do so. I just remind you that they were totally naked. And this was that point when I swallowed the wrong way.

Dave grinned and softly patted my back “Relax kitty, you don’t have to eat this greedily.”

“I wasn’t… greedy… it’s just… you two!” I looked at them ‘accusingly’ with tears in my eyes because of the coughs “What’ll be downstairs in the pool? Will I drown there?” I cleared my throat then chipped another piece from the cool cake absentmindedly “Sooner or later you’ll kill me.”

“Tell me what did you find that amusing that you swallowed the wrong way?”

“What you two do with each other, oh god, I go crazy from that!”

“It turns you on, kitty?” lifted Martin my chin with his palm.

“A lot.”

“Do you want to hear what I’d done to David?” Now Dave started to snort. “Oh come on, Davie, she’s our kitty.”

“Even if she is…” he turned to me “You know, usually he’s not like that, but today he… really snatched me” Dave smiled at Martin.

“And you were enjoying it, right?” Blondie asked his friend.

“Jeez, Martin, if we were able to carry on, I’d ask you for another round.”

The temperature of the room rose at least with ten degrees again. “Marty, would you really tell me?” I begged.

“If you tell me one of your adventures in details then I let him tell you our story” agreed Dave too.

“Okay, I already know which one I’ll tell you” I smiled “But it’s your turns! I want to hear every dirty detail!”

“Wow, you have more exciting cases?” Dave stuck to my first sentence, but I just winked at him.

“I’m waiting forward to your story too. Well then…” Martin put a piece of cake into his mouth.

“Martiiiiin! Don’t do this to me!” I looked at him with big puppy eyes.

“Isn’t turning you on the point?” shot Dave a lopsided smile at me. Ignoring Dave again I was staring at Blondie.

“I’m surprised that you’re this curious…”

“I AM curious!”

“Alright, alright. My little doggy’ll complete me if I leave something out” he pulled Dave’s leg.

“Your whaaaat??? Your dooooggy?? Don’t do this to me Martin, please start it already!!”

“Well for a start I got rid off his wet clothes – just to make sure he won’t catch a cold.”

“Yeah, you and your good intentions…” grinned Dave and put another piece into his mouth.

“Yeah, we can say it that way…” he shrugged, grinning.

“Wait, wait! I have to imagine this!” I closed my eyes for a few moments “Uhh… yes… Hm… I’ve got it. Go on!”

Both of them tried to keep their laughter down. They were laughing at me, but it was no problem for me.

“Well, the clothes landed on the floor and our lips met while my hand started to play with his ‘little one’…”

“And of course all DM fans around the world know from the frequent demonstrations that it’s not little…” I grinned.

“And then the soap landed on the floor” Dave laughed out loud and Martin joined him “and don’t laugh” said Dave “cuz it really slid out of my hand and we started the search after it and I went down on all fours and somehow Martin knelt behind me and this is why on the next concert I won’t kick up in the air, and I won’t strip – even if that means I’ll die from the heat. Go on, Martin, tell her how you’d tortured me and before you’d ask, no I didn’t push the soap to the floor willingly. Anyhow, use the shower gel!”

“I did” he licked his mouth with a dark gaze. My brain started to work again.

“Instead of saliva, right?” I winked, recalling a picture of our sweet trio’s sandwich from a few hours earlier, when he wet himself before entering me.

“Well after that I had a quite easy way into him…”

“You shouldn’t leave the ‘wild’, ‘merciless’, ‘dominant’ and ‘tyrant’ words out either, you… you evil seducer!”

“We could speak about who was the one who was shaking his nice butt in front of me before our first night together… I couldn’t see anything else, I didn’t want anybody else just you!” Mart looked at Dave, but this time his gaze was serious. It was clear that he was still thinking about this whole situation that way, although his mate handled their relationship more freely and without reservations. Martin was simply as jealous as Othello.

“But I hadn’t done it willingly…” Dave played the innocent, licking the melted choc from his finger.

“Yeah, sure” answered Blondie with doubts, following Dave’s move “But to move on with the story, for a while we were doing it that way then I dragged Dave to his feet and pinned him to the tiles. I wanted to feel him in my mouth” he said, still watching his mate then he looked at me “Do you like it so far?”

I was watching Dave too as he was licking his fingers – one’s sure: I know very few men who’re more sensuous than Dave. And it was clear that he was enjoying the choc – its taste, smell, colour and touch. When he realised that Mart’d stopped with the story and we both were staring at him, he asked “What’s now?”


	17. Chapter 17

17\. 

 

“I like it” I turned back to Martin with a little smile on my lips. It wasn’t easy to decide whether I meant my answer for the story or for watching Dave. I think it meant both. Meanwhile Dave shrugged and went on with the eating part.

“Me too” winked Martin “And he gave me what I wanted from him. You know what I mean – you’ve experienced it with him too” he went on.

“Yep. And then?”

“Then he evilly said something, which froze my blood and thinking that the fun was over, he wanted to come out of the bathroom, which I hadn’t let – and some injuries were caused by this action of mine. We fell because of the wet tiles and look, his brow is cracked too” Mart narrowed his eyes “Poor thing.”

“Jesus. Then now I understand why you’re limping, sweetie” I turned to Dave with already cloudy eyes, cuz I was imagining what Martin was telling me – matching the sounds to the story.

“Surprised? A pretty blonde fell onto me” he pursed his lips “By the way it isn’t a serious wound, it just stings a bit.”

“We’ll take a look and we’ll fix it before we go down to the pool” I added leaning closer to look at the injury.

“But just if you’ll be gentle with me” he looked me in the eye and put a piece of cake under my nose.

“I know, you haven’t asked for the wild cat yet, just Mart did. But sooner or later…” I shrugged “No, thanks” I looked at the cake.

“Pleeeease! For my sake!” he looked at me with adorable big puppy eyes, which made Mart laughing out loud and our favourite singer offered me the junk playfully.

“Alright…” I sighed and accepted it, but before he could pull his fingers back, I put them into my mouth to lick them clean one by one “Satisfied?” I asked after I swallowed, grinning.

“Yes I am” he winked then put a kiss onto my lips and returned to his precious cake. I sat back onto my place and smiled at Martin.

“So where were we? Oh yeah, you fell. And then?” I wiped my mouth.

“Then Martin hadn’t let me stand up! But he wasn’t that rough anymore. Even if he just caresses and kisses me, I stay there – there was no need to push me to the ground” Dave grinned.

“But I had to! I wanted you to stay, no matter what. To stay with me. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you David?” Martin tightened his grab around Dave’s hand.

“Mart, no…”

“Uhm… me thinks I’m left behind with a few rounds again” I noted quietly, examining them as they looked at each other. There was something… maybe a secret, or just too deep emotions… Had something happened in the past? Or… I didn’t know what that thing could be, which Dave wanted to hide and it was about Martin. I thought I knew their relationship quite good, but it seemed I was wrong.

“Well yes, with a few” laughed Dave. But Martin wasn’t laughing. I thought that maybe he was scared that on day – soon - Dave’ll step out of their relationship, which was so important to them. I looked into Dave’s smiling then into Martin’s hard eyes. He held Dave’s gaze. I was wondering how much he trusts – how much he dares to trust - this black panther. How did he see Dave? A majestic Bagira or the lonesome walking cat, who purrs when it suits him? I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him being near to Dave, living next to him. He’d mentioned earlier too that he was afraid that this energetic front man – who was now eating the cake happily - will burn him. Dave hadn’t seen it when my eyes caught Martin’s. It was astonishing looking into those green eyes. Under the cool but slim shell – I think – I’ve never seen this much emotions whirling. I was afraid that they’ll suck me in, but they staid there in Martin’s eyes, swirling under the surface. I thought that Martin was a very complex man inside. Maybe even Dave doesn’t know every side of him.

When I broke eye-contact with Martin, sadness came on me. After this I had no heart to ask him for more details – moreover I never wanted to mention it again, just in case he wants to tell me more about this side of their relationship.

“Okay Dave, before you overdose yourself with chocolate, get dressed and let’s go down to the pool. They’ kept it locked for us long enough.”

“You two go. Before I join you I really have to talk to Fletch as I’ve already mentioned it earlier” noted Mart silently as he stood up and walked to the bedroom for his clothes. I was left alone with my choc-addict. I was just watching him. He already ate the half of the stuff alone! I couldn’t understand how he was able to eat this much cake without puking.

“And now what is it?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m waiting for you, David.”

“I’m nearly ready” he answered, but I saw that he was still looking at me confused “Whaaat’s up? Do you hear me? What’s up?” he leant to me.

“Really nothing, I just want to get to know you a bit more.”

“Just with staring at me?”

I grimaced and put my hair into a ponytail.

“You won’t go far if you just stare, kitty” he tucked a tuft behind my ear, cuz it was too short for the rubber to keep it in place. I just hemmed and ran my fingers around a bad bite mark on his chest.

“Nooo, don’t do this! Speak to me! Ask me a question!” he bothered me like a five-year-old boy. But at the end I’ve found it sweet.

“Don’t underestimate the power of observing, Dave. Well, I know it’s none of my business, but something bothers Martin.”

“I know. It’s me.”

“I can’t add too much to this.

“You don’t have to. There’s no answer for this. If there was… If there was, I’d live that way to make it easier for him” he sighed.

“Aren’t you mad, cuz I brought it up? It’s not my business, I know… But I love Mart and it’s so bad that…”

“Great. There’s no need for further words. Love him – he deserves it – he’s a good boy. He is the good boy, if we look at it that way. My nature isn’t easy, my blood is always boiling – this is my kind and I can’t help it. He knows this and accepts this – but he suffers from it too.”

“Sure, cuz good guys always have to suffer before getting their reward.”

“Hey! And the bad guys? Don’t you think they’d taken the dark side because of the suffering other people caused to them?”

“It’s possible. If we’re already speaking about good and bad, what do you think which one am I? And if the good one then you’ll burn me too? Cuz if yes, I prepare myself and get a fire-extinguisher too” I smiled, trying to ease up the way too serious topic.

“Despite all of my good intentions, it’s possible that you’ll scorch a bit too. I can’t help it, I’m like a nuclear reactor. I’m trying, but the fire in me is too intense. I’m sure I’ll die suddenly.”

“Don’t even think about this!” I shivered “I wouldn’t be able to stand that, so don’t you dare to get into such situations!” I stated firmly.

“It’s not up to me…” he wanted to protest, but I interrupted him.

“No. Now, after you’ve put on some clothes, we’re going to swim. You have two short minutes from now on. Go!” I looked up at the elegant clock on the wall.

“Put on something? How about putting you on me?” he grinned.

“Dave, maybe Martin was right about that Viagra…”

“Hey, don’t you dare! Well, alright, I go searching for my trunks and after it we can go.”

“Fantastic!” I smiled “And if you already go to the bathroom, take a look at your brow too. Although the bleeding’d stopped, I don’t want you to taint it with the chlorinated water.”

“Don’t you worry, sweetie. It’ll just burn a bit – and you know I like pain…” he licked his mouth “Yeah, I’ll have to try that with you too…”

“Trying what? Well okay, off you go now! Shoo-shoo! Your time is nearly up!”

\---

“Fuck, it’s cold! Aren’t they warming the water here, or something?” I hissed when I put my foot into the pool.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of cold water!” David splashed me all over.

“I’m not!” and I took the plunge, covering him with water. Or better said he was already half-way to the middle of the pool, using his long hands, avoiding me.

I grumbled under my nose and with calm strokes I started swimming on the other side of the pool, like a total stranger, not knowing who he was. But it hadn’t disturbed him. It was clear to see that Dave went to the swimming hall to swim. He was doing the butterfly stroke and I was just staring his back and arms. The water drops were glistening on them – his whole back was gleaming. He seemed to fly with his wings.

After a while I’d stopped, cuz I’ve started to gulp too much water watching him. I rather grabbed the edge of the pool and was moving just with my legs. The vision – Dave swimming the lengths – was superb. I used to go to swim a lot a few years ago, but because of the lack of time I had to give it up. I remember when I was a child, during the summer holidays no one was able to drag me out of the water. I didn’t know how long he wanted to swim, but he seemed very intent. He didn’t give a damn of his injured brow - or anything else by the way. I’ve started to realise that he was kinda obsessed. If he does something, he does it with his whole heart.

After half an hour when I was sitting on the edge of the pool, he slid next to me like a dolphin and pulled me into the water by my ankle. I was so unguarded! How could I possibly think that he’d let me alone? I came up snorting, spitting out a big amount of water, smoothing my wet hair back. 

“Heeeey! I’ll get chlorine-poisoning after this much water! What good was this?” I pouted with a little smile in the corner of my lips.

“For what? If an orca sees an unsuspecting seal, he attacks her and… engorges her!”

“Hey, Dave, don’t bite! You’re insane, do you know? Do you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

I let him have just one kiss then I slid out of his hands under the water and I started to swim away from him as fast as I could.

“Is the little seal fighting for her life?”

“She is. She’s the chance from life to survive” I turned my head back then screamed when I saw him moving towards me like an unstoppable icebreaker-ship. I had no chance – he swam over me like the police onto the Green Peace dinghy.

“I’ve got you” he told me the obvious fact, cuz he was over me, holding my head over the water with one hand and like the once-promising David Hasselhoff he balanced himself with the other one, and with his mouth… he was sampling his prancing victim.

“I’ve noticed, Davie…” I looked at him reproachfully “You don’t even give me the chance…”

“For what? There’re wolf-rules in nature. The big beast goes onto the small one. It’s this simple.”

“So I’m small? Just you wait!” I narrowed my eyes and spit water into his face. Then I slid out of his firm, but slippery embrace, escaping under the water. I came up 15 meters away from him.

“Wow. You’re small but you move quite quickly…” he noted.

“You know, we seals try to slide out of slippery situations…” I went farther from him.

“But I won’t let you do that” he said and with a quick move he dipped too and I saw as he was sliding under the water. I tried to change course, but when he broke surface not far from me, he noticed this. After two strokes he hugged my waist and with his irresistible gaze he pushed me backwards until my hands reached the edge of the pool.

“Alright, alright. I gave up the fight against nature’s will…”

He was embracing me from the back and he breathed into my ear. Of course goose bumps appeared everywhere on me from this, but I let him do what he wanted to do. I was curious how daring he was. Although there were just the two of us and we knew that until we don’t go out of here no one’ll enter the place, I still thought that he won’t go further than some erotic jokes. I was so wrong! I bit down on my lip when I pushed my butt to his groin.

“And where’ll the big beast start the incorporation?”

“Well I was wondering whether there was something else to do before that…” and pulling my panties to the side, he’d already made his first discovery. I sighed quietly and grabbed the edge of the pool harder.

“What’ve you found?”

“Shelter… for him” he moaned as he pushed into me.

“Jesus, Dave, what’re you doing? You want it here?”

“You see it, sweetie, you feel it inside you, don’t you?”

“I’d lie if I said no…” I sighed as he started to move slowly inside me.

“Then don’t lie just enjoy it” he moaned into my ear then kissed my shoulder.

“Dave…”

“Yes?”

“You know that…”

“What?”

“After this… you should tell them… to…”

“To?”

“To change the water…”

“What? Why?”

“You don’t want your… little boys… to reach their goal… to the surprise of a swimming woman…”

“What women, kitty? Are you kidding? If I put something in, it stays there!”

“Uh-uh, I feel that, Dave! Aren’t there cameras here?”

“Don’t know. But believe me… I don’t care. Now I just want you!”

I couldn’t help myself, but by this sentence I felt hard to swallow.

“Oh… god… don’t stop!” I whispered, fighting the lump in my throat and moaned when he sank deeper into me.

“I have no intentions to stop…” he bit my shoulder then whispered into my ear: “My bitemark on your back from yesterday is pretty …” and he hugged me closer to him and his right hand slid into my black panties from the front.

“Jeeeesus! Jeeeesusss!”

“On the spot! Personally” he breathed into my ear between two moans “By the way, you can call me Mr. Jesus!”

“You shameless! More! More! Give it hard!”

“Who’s the shameless one here? You, you want it, right? Here you are…”

“Jeeeeesus…”

“You don’t have to call my name all the time, I’m the most real entity, which had ever existed in the world.”

“That’s… that’s for sure! Ahh!” I strained my back from the next wave which ran through my body. I was clinging to the pool’s edge with all of my strength. The waves washed over the rim again and again, but we hadn’t paid attention. And not just the water’s waves were washing over us – suddenly we both moaned and our voices were echoing between the hall’s walls.

“The hall has a great acoustic – maybe next time I should sing the next single here” he panted.

I wasn’t panting – I couldn’t even breathe – I was just diving deeper into that wonderful feeling which this beautiful, talented and ready Mr. Jesus gave me. The thought came into my mind that if I go with them, this feeling’ll be as regular as the subway runs in Tokyo. But I had absolutely no problem with this outlook…

“Hey… Dave… oops, sorry: Mr. Jesus…” I’ve heard as he grunted contentedly and breathed into my neck, which gave me goose bumps again “if I go with you…”

“Yes?” he slowly slid out of me.

“If you continue ‘attending’ to me with such intensity and frequency… will you not get bored of me soon?” I looked at the tiled wall, which reflected the water’s play.

“I don’t think so. It’ll be interesting – the three of us. I mean it’s so great, kitty, that you accept this between Mart and me and you even appreciate it. You know – for us – this is uhmm really important. Perhaps if one day I’ll have to choose… as it had already happened once…”

“Then… you’ll choose Marty, right?”

“He means a lot to me.”

“I don’t want to be a kibitzer, but if you said this to him sometimes, you’d make him a happy man. I’ve seen enough during these two days - he worries himself to death because of you.”

“I know. I try to express it in my own way, but… It’s strange – isn’t it – that theoretically I’m the more open one, but in this case I rarely can express myself in the good way. I know that I have quite an idiotic nature.”

“An idiotic nature? I really like that you’re wild and passionate!”

He was just smiling at me. “Oh yeah, and I love when someone compliments me. Basically I’m not a bad guy, I just don’t like when things aren’t going in the way I want them to go. But yes, I can love. And suffer.”

“And sing.”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re put together in quite a good way…” I noted, putting my hands around his neck as I turned to him and smiled at him sweetly.

“It’s not my claim.”

“Oh it is – it’s yours too – believe me” I followed a water drop which slid down on his shoulder.

“Well if you mean running and Pilates, then I must say I do them cuz I have to do them. Basically I have a lazy nature – I can’t see why I should walk when they’d invented wheels.”

“Uh-oh. Another thing which is common in us.”

“I’m glad to hear that” he smiled in a mind-blowing way “Me thinks we’ll discover a few more soon…”

“Amen” I winked and let him kiss me gently with his soft mouth.

\---

After a few minutes I felt that someone was watching me. I slowly pulled away from Dave’s lip and I looked up.

“I see you two know the ropes” Martin noted grinning as he was standing over us, his hands on his hips.

“Take it Martin as a private show just for you!” Dave grinned back.

“Come, Mart, let’s swim with us!” I invited him.

“I’m coming. Jesus, no one can persuade Andy about things – especially when those things could mean some risk” he muttered loudly as he was coming down the stairs.

“This isn’t true” we could hear from above.

“Heey, Fletchi, are you going to join us?” Dave asked with me still in his neck.

I was just smiling and I watched as Martin got rid off his clothes – except for his swimming trunks – then he jumped next to us.

“Yep. I’ll race Mart. The one who swims 10 lengths first will win the debate too.”

“Wow” I said “We’ll even have a swimming race!”

“The band entertains you quite well, am I right?” said Dave.

“Yep. David, how good is Fletch at swimming?”

“He’s quite good. By the way there’s more in him than you might think. You’ll see.”

“Then Martin has no chance” I whispered into his ear “He had a trying night and morning.”

“Marty? No one can floor him! Come one, let’s bet! Whom do you put?”

“Jesus, you’re so English, Dave!”

“Well, it’s difficult to deny your roots…” he winked and shrugged and letting me go he sat onto the edge of the pool, leaving his legs in the water. With one of my hands I used his knee instead of the pool’s edge. I looked up at him smiling, while I’ve heard that the guys reached start position.

“Alright” I looked at the competitors “It’s not easy to choose. Because I know Fletch less than Mart, but… despite this as a loyal Fletch-fan, I’ll put my vote on him. What’ll be the stake?”

“Hmm, dunno. Well okay, if Martin wins – cuz I put my vote on him – then I can eat a whole box of Godiva from your body – all at once! And you?”

“If Fletch wins then you’re mine tonight” I winked at him.

“This isn’t a stake cuz I’d be yours anyway, wouldn’t I?”

“And you’d eat that choc off me anyway, wouldn’t you?”

“Wait, I figure out something else…”

“Did I say that I don’t like the stake?” I winked again “I’m okay with them.”

“You’re choosing the easier way?”

“Sure! But then I add something to it from my side: you’re mine for tonight, but the tricky part is that I’ll do something really, really good to you JUST tonight…” I dig my nails into his knee a bit.

“What’s this ‘JUST tonight’?” his eyes got darker a little as he felt my fingers on his knee.

“That’s the fun part of it. I’ll let my claws do the scratching just tonight – if Fletch wins. Otherwise you won’t get what you’ve wanted to try with me. I mean before we came down here, you’ve hinted to something like this, right? Deal?”

“I’m afraid not just the deal is standing…” he said as he felt my hand slide onto his groin.

I smiled and pulling my hand a bit back I turned to the guys who’d started swimming. They’ve started it with quick and strong strokes. Maybe if I wasn’t already sitting on my butt, I’d have fallen onto it as I saw Andy swimming. My jaw landed somewhere on the floor – seeing this even Johnny Weismüller in his top form would have been jealous.

“Huh, David, I think you’ll be mine tonight!”

He let out a sound near to laughing, but his gaze was still resting on Blondie, who – seeing his fallback – had started making up slowly but surely. “Wait and see…” he hugged my waist with his left hand.

“Don’t say you’ve bet on the shoo-in!”

“Me? No, it’s just that… Let’s encourage them, okay?” he whistled sharply and called out Martin’s name. Of course Martin didn’t look back at him, cuz he would’ve lost time with that, but he pushed himself further. Well yes – it matters who’s pulling for someone… Dave always moved people around as he wished. It seemed that he was a good front man and not just on stage. His voice was echoing deeply in the closed space and my ‘go Andy’ was like a faint meowing next to his full baritone. Exactly because of this I put my hand onto his mouth, grinning, and I’ve tried to encourage Andy louder. As an answer Dave turned with me into the water and I’ve tried to breathe – at the end we managed to do so. I looked quickly at the boys just to see the result – although just with two strokes but Martin had won. He looked at Dave panting happily, who swam to his friend with his wide strokes. I did the same, but I swam to Fletch to congratulate him, cuz he was great too. I’ve told this to him and he was smiling at me happily too. We got out of the water with Andy and we’ve started chatting.

“Kitty, you’re mine!” yelled Dave.

“This is pretty obvious, you don’t have to announce it” I grinned at him.

“Ah, so you’ve wrapped him around your finger, huh?” noted Andy.

“Them, Andy, them.”

“Good Lord, they’ll totally corrupt you – be careful with them” he warned me.

“It’s already too late, we’ve tainted her” yelled Dave back.

“Uh-oh, I think you had no trouble with that” I smiled towards them, but they were immersed in some conversation.

“I really don’t want to speak against my friends” went on Andy much quieter “but… be careful.”

“What do you mean?”

He didn’t answer just looked at the approaching boys.

“Andy, did you know that this missy here is a real Fletch-fan?” grinned Mart grabbing the edge of the pool. I couldn’t help myself, but after my shock I was rolling on the floor laughing.

“Tell me what’s wrong with that!” I laughed still.

“But you haven’t… mentioned it!” Dave mocked a pained expression.

“I, well… I don’t…” stuttered Andy and he was so sweet that I had to embrace him. At this time he was red like a carrot and leaving his towel behind he ran for the stairs.

“Andy, come back!” I asked him.

He turned around for a moment “Sorry, but I… I… don’t…” and he ran away, taking the stairs by two.

“Poor Fletchi!” I said “I think after a while I’ll go after him for a little chatting.”

“For a little ‘chatting’, yeah sure…” made Mart a mouth, but his eyes were laughing.

“Mart! Who do you think I am?” I was ‘shocked’ “I just want to talk to him. And if you want to know, he really is sweet. You two had sent this poor guy for some choc and he’d gone to get some without a word, hadn’t he? And he’s sweet when he’s clapping and he’s kind to the fans and…”

“Alright, alright” grumbled Dave “We know all this, right Mart?”

“Yep.”

And in my head I added one more thing to Andy’s list: that he was so kind to warn me – even if he doesn’t know me at all, although his advice was useless – I looked at these chatting guys in the water and I knew they were made for me. I adore them and no matter what’ll happen, I’ll face it.

“By the way Mart, it was new for me that you’re such a great swimmer. How’s that you have still this much energy?” I grinned at him, sliding back into the water.

“Even an old buffer can still do some tricks…”

“Old? Are you kidding? You two are in the best age!” I laughed and splashed water on him with my fingers.

“Alright, I had enough of the dabbling. I go up to the room, okay?”

“Me too” said Dave “I have to bring you home.”

“Why?”

“To pack your things, of course.”

“But it’ll take some time going after you.”

“Baby, it’s now or never! What’d I do in Zagreb without you?”

“You’ll hack it” when a grimace ran through his face I sighed “Look Dave, I need some days to arrange things at home. I have some stuff to do, which can’t be done in a minute. You can understand this, can’t you?” He muttered something under his nose. “Guys, you know best that you can’t get rid off me in any way. It’s not that I don’t want to go with you, I think you know this.”

“Sure” said Mart “We understand that. You know our numbers. Call us if you’re ready. Then we’ll tell you where we are and we take care of your plane ticket and everything else you’ll need. Until then Dave’ll manage somehow…” he grinned at him.

“No, I’m not that kind” he growled “I decide quickly what I want and what I don’t. Then I act right away. Kitty, it’d be a nice gesture to leave everything behind for the prince of your heart!”

“Yeah, sure. But I can be stubborn too, Mr. Gahan” I smiled at him faintly “And I’m not that type who leaves everything behind – if I have to decide something big like this. I like to know that my things are okay. I really have to arrange these things, I’m sorry. But I think you won’t get bored meanwhile” I looked at Martin with a knowing gaze then I’ve started swimming to make some lengths too. Despite the tiredness I’ve felt that my muscles had welcomed this kind of activity too.


	18. Chapter 18

18.

 

When I went back to the room, Martin was nowhere to be seen – he was off somewhere. And Dave was getting dressed.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah. Practice – for my voice. Singing practice.”

I expected him to invite me – not letting me sit here alone – but he hadn’t. He was clearly offended. I didn’t care, cuz I thought I was right. Maybe he got used to it that when he wants something he can get it anytime. At least nearly everything stars usually get. But I didn’t want them to pull me by strings like some puppet. I waved goodbye when he called back that he’s off from the door and I went into the bathroom to have a nice shower. After I’ve got dressed, I’ve decided to look for Andy – now that I was alone like this – to ‘make things clear’. I was walking towards him with a smile on my face when I’ve spotted him sitting in a room, reading some papers.

“Hi Andy, do you have a few minutes?”

“Uhm. Yeah, I guess. Come in” he said. I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me.

“I want to tell you something” He looked up from his papers rather startled “You don’t have to worry Andy. I really like you, but despite Dave’s kidding you’re not my next victim. They’re enough for me. Maybe they’ll even be too much for me” I sighed a big one.

I saw that he exhaled a bit relieved. I couldn’t stop myself and I grinned a little. He was so sweet! Then finally I took a seat opposite him by his table. He pushed a few papers aside then he piled them up.

“What’s the problem – if I may ask” he looked at me from behind his glasses.

“Well to tell the truth it’s not easy with the boys” I’ve started complaining. Then I laughed out loud right away, cuz what I’ve said it sounded exactly like a mother complaining about his sons on a parents’ meeting.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, still playing with the papers.

“Nothing – just the situation is absurd. I really don’t know what I’m doing here and how I’ve ended here. Me, whose face was just one in the crowd two days ago, after 48 hours I’m sitting here opposite you and I’m ‘complaining’ about the boys. It’s fantastic what life can do to you.”

“That’s true” he smiled at me over his glasses “You’ve managed to wrap them around your finger. Congratulations!” he broadened his smile.

“Is this a big deal?”

“Yep. We can say. But of course it’d occurred a few times before you that someone did the same with Dave or Mart, but you’re the first one who could mesmerize them both… This is new for me too. There’s something in you.”

“Huh, I’m just a simple girl.”

“I wouldn’t say that. You didn’t turn around yesterday either – you’ve helped me and everything…”

“Of course! My favourite band members had asked something from me. First you then uh…”

“I’ve heard from Martin that you three stay together – in a threesome or something like that.”

“Yeah, they’ve told me the same.”

“And you’re not sure that you want it.”

“I’m sure that I want them, but I’m not sure that I’ll be able to last too long.”

“I see. Well you won’t get bored by their sides – this one’s for sure. Oh yes, and I’ve wanted to tell you that Dave’d mentioned that you want to do something useful.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to be a burden to no one. I don’t like doing nothing. I like to feel myself useful” I shrugged a little.

“Well then I’ve got good news. According to the feedbacks the fans loved the gig from yesterday. A ‘little’ bit. And the press gave positive feedbacks too” he drummed on the papers with his fingers.

“I’m glad to hear this” I smiled “I’m absolutely positive about that it was the best day in my life – so far. They moved me so much!”

“Yeah, the crowd was amazing and I liked your voice too.”

“Thanks.”

He smiled “Well I’ve managed to arrange for you – I must add that it wasn’t hard – to sing for the boys on the following shows too.”

“What? I can’t believe it! Me?”

“Yes, yes. We’re just at the one third of the concert and we needed someone anyway.”

“Yeah the girls on the Exciter tour were cool. And Dave was hugging Jenna conspicuously, while she patted Dave’s prize-winner butt when they were coming down from the stage.”

“You have a good eye. Hm… yes, Dave. As it’s said – he fucks everything what moves.”

“I’ve suspected it. I’ve always smelled a rat here – the way they’d behaved when the other was around…” I shrugged smiling.

“See I was talking about this. If this disturbs you then you won’t last too long at his side or at their sides.”

“I’ll get used to it, don’t worry.”

“This isn’t the point. It’s just that personally I don’t like it when they’re doing this. Of course being away from their families for this long, well it’s understandable. But I want to tell you that there were other girls – not just a few – who were burnt quite badly by them. They couldn’t take it after a while.”

“Thank you Andy for trying to protect me – I appreciate that – but I think you doesn’t have to worry for a while.”

“I love them too, but listen to what I’m saying now: they’re able – although not willingly – to push you onto the edge of total desperation – especially Dave. He… he… he’s not simple.”

“I love them. The both of them.”

“Both of them?”

“It’s strange, isn’t it?”

“I was able to love only one at a time.”

“Do you know Andy how sweet you can be?”

Of course he started blushing from this question again. “Oh come on…” he crinkled the edge of a paper.

“But you can, you can. You know I’ve always imagined you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Well you know, you’re ‘the best synth-player on the world – playing with one finger’. Most of the fans make fun of this, but I know that you rather do things behind the scenes. And that’s an important role in a band’s life even if it’s not that spectacular. And I always liked you” I shrugged again, smiling “Oh yeah and the most important discovery for me was that when I was listening to your interviews, I’ve noticed that I love it when you’re speaking. I mean the other two evil kids don’t speak English as clearly as you.”

He laughed by this “You girl, you’re an interesting woman!”

“Thank you. I want to stay interesting. I hope I can stay that for a long while – mostly for those divine half-gods, who’ve crossed my heart. I don’t know what I’ll do if they won’t find me interesting anymore.”

“Amazing! This is the first time I see something like this. I mean, I’ve heard both of them speaking about you – they really are all over you. What’s your secret? How can you drive both of them crazy?”

And I knew that my secret was partly that I shared their secret. The secret was the happiness that they could share their gentle – and surprisingly fierce – love with someone. And of course I knew that I can’t share this with Andy. It was strange that I – who knew the guys for 2 days – knew about their secret and Andy – who’s been their friend for the last 25 years – doesn’t know.

“You know, charisma or something like that…” I laughed, sealing their secret deep into me.

“Possible…” he nodded then sent me an apologizing look and picked his cell up. I waved good bye to him and mouthed him a ‘thank you for everything’ then I walked out of the room, letting the busy businessman work.

\---

I went back into the empty room and now that I had some time to think, I’ve really felt myself lost. I was full of doubts, but I knew – as they say – this was a one time opportunity. Yesterday came into my mind. The concert was an incredible experience. I’ve just started to grasp it. The memories came back with such a force… the crowd, the boys’ voices, the teary faces… that I’ve felt as my own tears ran down my face too. I was moved again. They really gave me an incredible present – for me and for the Hungarian fans. And I still couldn’t understand what I’d done to earn this. I had never been a saint. Sometimes I’d been a really bad girl – I’m not proud of that.

I flicked the ash into the ashtray and puffed smoke into the air as I was sitting by the table, pressing my forehead into my palm.

No, I didn’t deserve them, but I knew I’d go after them. Until that they’ll manage without me just as I’ll manage without them too. I should not open myself too much for them, I know this. I don’t want them to ‘monopolize’ me just to know me out and leave me behind. No. I loved them too much to bear this. I sighed and with my tears on my face I looked out of the window. This is how Martin’d found me.

“Kitty, why’re you crying? Dave?”

“Oh, no, just… I’m not sure. You know, I want this – going with you, singing for my sacred Depeche Mode – but I’m scared. So scared.”

“Can I help you somehow?”

“Embrace me Martin. Embrace me like…”

“Like? Like I did with Dave?”

I blushed from the thought that he could see my thoughts this well “Yes Martin – exactly like that. Please!”

“Alright kitty, don’t be ashamed of you” he hugged me firmly and pulled my head onto his chest. I’ve heard his steady heart beats and I grabbed the T-shirt on his back hard. I was just inhaling his scent. “Everything’ll be fine, we’ll take care of you.”

“Thank you. For both of you. Dear Martin, I love you so much! I love you both.”

“You’re sweet. I must say that although just 48 hours had passed, we love you too. Kitty, if you don’t come with us now, then this is goodbye for a short while. We’re leaving.” Without a word I’ve started sobbing loudly. “Hey, heey! Don’t do this, kitty!” he looked me in the eye, lifting my chin “This goodbye isn’t forever – you know it well.”

“Yeah… sure… it’s just… I’ll miss you two!” I hugged him even harder while my tears were still running down on my face.

“We’ll miss you too, believe me” he said in a soothing tone.

I couldn’t help myself, I’ve pressed my lips onto his and I was kissing him hard and for long minutes.

I hadn’t seen David after Martin had left me alone. They’d left.

\---

I was really tired when I’ve got home. In the last two days the boys sucked out all of my energies. My first thing to do was to have a nice hot and fragrant bath, relaxing a bit. I simply still couldn’t believe that I was such a lucky girl that both of them wanted me! But this was the situation and I was awfully happy for my luck. It was strange that I was already missing them and it hurt a bit that I had no chance to say goodbye to Dave. Was he this much offended? Uh-oh, I’ve felt that there’ll be more complications in the future, but maybe I’ll be able to deal with them. I imagined as I sing for them on stage on nearly every night… It was absolutely fantastic even here in Budapest and it dawned on me that I’ll have the chance to live through this experience many times on the tour… And the boys!

I was washing my body deep in my thoughts. Although my body was full of bruises, I didn’t mind them. They reminded me on them. I’ll gladly have such injuries in the future if I get them from Dave and Mart… After I put myself together I lay onto the bed and fell asleep immediately. My last thought was that I’d arrange things the next day.

And I did so. Quitting my job was quite easy. My boss wasn’t fussing. I think he liked me. I’ve asked my best friend to check on my flat time after time and I’ve told her that I’ll send money for the bills. I barely could stop her questions about my sudden decision. But I’ve told her at least that it wasn’t the last time she could see me singing with the boys. Of course from this she just got more excited and she wanted to know every detail, but I shared just the ‘lighter’ version with her. She was freaking out anyway and she said I was insanely lucky. We parted with a long hug. I could always count on her, she’d never let me down before.

Nearly a week passed and at the time I was ready with everything and was ready for the trip too. I was really excited again. I’ve missed them terribly. Mart’s voice on the phone was happy when I’ve called him and he’d promised that he’d tell the news to Kessler right away so he can arrange me a ticket to Brussels and he told me that they’ll send someone to the airport too. I hung up with a big sigh and I looked around my flat, which I won’t see for a long while.

\---

I was so nervous on the plane! I couldn’t wait to finally land. I knew of course that they won’t come to the airport – cuz how could they do that on an international airport? – but it was still a bit sad that just a man in the Four Seasons’ hotel uniform was standing there with my name on a plate. After I’ve arrived into the hotel and checked in, Kessler called me on the phone to come down to the bar, cuz the boys were waiting for me. My heart was beating so fast like in my childhood at Christmas Eve when I’ve heard the bells and I ran into the room, hoping that I’ll see the angel flying away. These angels didn’t fly, but they were smiling broadly when I entered the bar and sat down to their table.

“Well, well, our lost sheep had returned… or rather our kitty?” Dave grinned with a dark gaze as he watched me sitting opposite them.

“Meow” I smiled and waved for a drink then I turned back to them and was just drinking in their sight. “Hey, hey, hey! No kisses at all?” Dave complained.

“Give her a break and let her calm down and melt a bit!” Mart put him in place then drank his remained beer and waved for another.

“Sure you get your kisses” I jumped up and leaning to Dave I gave him two shy pecks onto his face. When I leant to Mart, he just kissed me full on the lips. It was a long kiss. First I’ve felt just its heat – I was yearning for his kisses too – but then it dawned on me where and with whom I was and I tasted that Mart’s mouth smelled from more than a few beers. I tried to softly break free, but he slid his hand onto my nape and didn’t let me pull away too far.

“Martin, please, let me go” I whispered quietly, looking into his longing eyes. But something was wrong with this look. Was there really some despair in his eyes? What was going on? Or he just had more than enough drinks?

“Oh come on, kitty…” he stroked my face and kissed me again – this time all of a sudden. He wasn’t far from drunkenness. I felt it.

When I finally managed to break free, I stroked his face too. “Mart, now I go to the loo, okay? I’ll be right back.”

In the ladies’ room I was just staring into the mirror as I washed my face and I was thinking about what to say or do when I go back. I never really liked drunken guys, although I loved Martin. I have to accept him this way. Maybe I can try to influence him a bit towards the right path now that I’ll stay here for a while. I had a feeling that something had happened between the guys. That glimpse from Martin… I was leaning against the door frame as I was standing in the bar’s door and I was just watching them a little closer. Dave was explaining something edgily to Martin, but he didn’t look at him just a few times. It was clear that Blondie was in a bad mood and he was watching the bubbles in his beer deep in thought. I frowned and sighed before I’ve returned to them.

Dave glimpsed up at me while he went on with the conversation. It seemed that he wanted to persuade or to talk out Martin from something – dunno – I saw just his vivid gestures and heard his deep voice. I sat down and Dave ended the conversation as he turned to me.

“How was your last week without us, kitty?”

You’re so sweetly arrogant, honey, as always, I thought. He hadn’t asked how my last week was – he was sure that it sucked without him. Isn’t it sweet?

“Quite uneventful without you two.”

“I could bet” sighed Martin and taking my hand he pulled me up too while he stood up “Come up to my room, kitty” he faltered out “I want to say something to you.”

I couldn’t do anything else than following him as he was pulling me along the corridors. I glimpsed back at David, who bent his head resignedly and drank his coke. I felt Mart’s hand sweating as he was dragging me and I felt the tension in him.

“Martin is there something wrong? Martin…”

“Come, just come with me, we have to talk. I think something’s wrong. Come, help me.”

“But what are you talking about? You scare me Martin” I stopped next to him while he was searching for his keys, standing in front of his door. For the second time he succeeded to put the key into the hole, but he didn’t say a word, he just took my hand again and pulled me into the room. “I can’t stand this anymore. I don’t want to talk about it, I want you to love me. Now just me. Concentrate just on me and love me in a way that helps to forget everything which so fucking hurts now! Maybe after that I’ll be able to think clearer and if you help, maybe we’ll be able to solve it.”

“Just answer me one thing: David?”

He slowly nodded and closed the door. I nuzzled to him and was caressing his face.

“Sorry, I drank again. I drank a lot. Don’t be mad at me, just love me!”

“I love you Martin” I stroked a curly tuft out his blushed face “Even if you drink, even if you’re upset, even if you’re scared and even if you cry” I caressed him softly and took his face into my hands. I felt his hands sneak around my body. “I’m yours Martin” and I kissed him softly, showering his mouth with small kisses, trying to calm him down a little.

“Mine?” How could you be mine? Everything, everything is lying at his feet – me too.”

“Not everything. You know best that this isn’t true. You know how much he loves you, don’t you?”

“Kitty, he was gone. I hadn’t seen him for days! He came back just this morning and he won’t speak about where he had been, but he was on his cell the whole day and I don’t know whom he calls in nearly every minute. I just know that he didn’t speak to me and… oh…” he sat – or rather slid – next to the wall to the floor and was just staring the carpet in front of him.

In this very moment there was a knock on the door.


	19. Chapter 19

19.

 

I looked down at him questioningly, but he was just staring at the carpet.

“Who’s there?” I yelled instead of him.

“What do you think?” I’ve heard the familiar voice “Will you let me in?”

I felt as Martin grabbed my trousers. I looked down at him and to my surprise I saw begging in his eyes and his lips mouthed that he doesn’t want to see him right now. I was about to tell Dave to stay where he was when his head peeped into the room.

“Hi there.”

Martin grumbled, stood up and went out to the balcony.

“Dave, I…”

“I know, I know. We’re in cross with Marty. He doesn’t want to speak to me. But he’ll have to, cuz I want to apologize. I was mean to him again. He, he’s so faithful like… jeez, I stop here. And furthermore I objected that I can’t always live up to his desires, although he never expected this from me. He just wanted love and I pushed him away – that’s all.”

I stepped aside, letting him into the room.

“Well… I won’t say a word. It’s your business, I think. Go…” I waved towards the balcony then folded my arms.

“Martin, please!”

“What do you want from me?”

“To apologize.”

“Dave, don’t do this to me! You rather never touch me again, but don’t do this, don’t refuse me, don’t go out with someone else! I was up to every compromise, but I can’t take it anymore – you drive me crazy” his voice failed him.

I didn’t go after them to the balcony, but I was close enough to hear them speaking. Folding my hands in front of my chest I watched as the breeze was playing with the thin white curtain, and looking behind it I saw as Dave tried to draw Martin’s attention to what he was saying. But Blondie didn’t look at him, he was just standing there, his hands on the rail. He was looking up at the sky or he was watching the traffic below us.

“Marty… don’t do this!”

“What do you mean?” he looked up suddenly. I’ve heard the anger in his voice.

“Don’t act like this…”

“Why? Tell me how you’re acting with me! Dave, you should sometimes think before you act!”

“Fuck! I can’t change – you know the best that I’ve tried. Look Martin, I know that I’m an addicted personality. Now – if I try really hard – I can content myself with nicotine, caffeine, theobromine and endorphin.”

“Ciggy, coffee, chocolate and sex, yeah…”

“When the desire comes upon me and I can’t have one of these, I can’t bear not to… I just can’t take it…”

“Jeez, David, David tell me you didn’t take anything! You didn’t use drugs, did you?”

 

“No. But I was just inches from that. I was so upset that we had a fight, it bothered me. It’s so fucking hard to say no! It still is. Please don’t be mad at me Mart. I love you. Just forgive me. And if no then do you think we’d manage without each other?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I don’t think so.”

“Cuz I wouldn’t bear not touching you – I know this well. And you know it too.”

“Yeah” he bent his head, but let Dave put his hand onto his right as he was still grabbing the rail. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cause such a crisis to you. I think you were right when you barked at me not just once during the years that how selfish and cold I can be time after time” Martin said quietly. Dave sighed. “It’s good that we have our kitty back – she’ll whip us into shape” Mart smiled.

“Or you mean she’ll rather whip us out of our trousers?” he squinted at me with a faint smile in the corner of his lips. I was just smiling quietly.

“Yeah, something like that. You were dead on, dude” he answered, turning half-way toward me and I’ve got a glimpse from him through the curtain too.

“Dave, listen, the kitty – do you know her name?” he whispered “She sings to the band, she’d left everything behind and we don’t even know her forename.”

“I know.”

“What?”

“I know her name.”

“How?”

“I was curious and while she was sleeping in Budapest, I just checked it in her passport.”

“And what is it?”

“Mia.”

“Wow, she really is a cat! Cat-girl. Why don’t we call her like this?”

“Cuz she’d never asked for it? She seems contented with her actual nickname. Marty! Try it! Call out her real name!” he asked the blonde prince.

“Mia, would you come here, please?” I’ve heard Mart’s voice after the whispering couple’d stopped the buzzing. It was strange to hear my name from him. None of them had called me on my name yet – I was just ‘kitty’ for them. It was a mystery for me from where did they know my name, but it didn’t matter too much. I didn’t move. I wanted to hear it again as he says my name. Somehow – in an insane way – it filled me up with happiness. I was crazy.

“Mia, please come to us” now Dave murmured. From his mouth my name sounded right away as if I was some decadent countess, whom the Lord Major just asked to enter the ball room. I think I’ve melted from his voice and after a silent sigh I stepped out to the balcony.

“It seems you’ve learnt my name” I said it in a neutral tone, my hands still folded in front of my chest, but I knew that my blushing face was telltale and it caught their attention too.

“Mia, Mia, Mia…” Dave purred softly into my ear. And Martin – being a musical man – started humming it. The enchanted feeling from last week was slowly coming back to us.

“Yes, yes, this is my name, alright! You don’t have to repeat it!” I broke out after a few moments.

“But you like it when we say it…” the little devil hugged my waist with one hand, still purring into my ear.

“Mia, Mia, Mia, the happiest Mia among the Mias…” Martin sang it happily and with slightly cloudy eyes. Dave was just watching me. But that look! I felt that my panties started melting down from me. Suddenly I couldn’t decide whether because of Dave’s hand, or just from his gaze. I squinted at him while I gulped a big one.

“You know, Mia… this name suits you!” Martin grinned at me – he was much happier than before “It’s so like you! So kitty-like! I like it!”

‘I’m glad that you like my mother’s choice of name” I made a mouth.

“Why? You don’t like your name?”

“Dunno. My classmates always meowed after me.”

“But even when we hadn’t known your name, we were calling you kitty – you’re just like a real cat.”

“I’ll be your kitty anytime you want me to, and you can give me as much names as you like.”

“Come to me!” asked David, who meanwhile sat down onto the bed “Is it okay for you if I call you like this? Come, come?”

“It’s more than okay. Me thinks many women’d give one of their arms to hear these words from your lips just once.”

“Uh-uh then one of your arms is mine” he caught my hand “And what else is mine? Tell me!” he pulled me to him.

“What else do you want to have?” I asked Dave, standing in front of him and glimpsed at Martin. I wasn’t sure whether he was alright enough not to feel offended by the fact that Dave made a move sooner again.

“I have quite nice ideas here” and he slowly slid his hand up under my brown skirt, grabbing the edge of my thong.

“You want my panties? Here, I give it to you” I stepped out of it “So then you’re happy with what you have now and you Martin, what’d make you happy?” I pulled him to me.

“Let me see…” he said and pulled my top up “Let me put my paws onto this lacy wonder” and he unclasped my bra.

“Okay then. Now both of you’ve got something and you’re happy, right?” I smiled at them ‘innocently’. They’d started protesting in the same time, telling me that this was far from enough. I smiled at them “And if I said that I’m not in the mood for more?”

“We’d know that you lied” Martin pulled me to him with one arm so I needed to nuzzle to his chest completely.

“Really?”

“Yep…” he murmured while he started kissing my neck, sucking my skin into his mouth time after time.

“It’s amazing that you know me this much…” I sighed.

“Baby, the woman, who gives me her panties willingly, is mine.”

“And who let me take her bra off, is mine” said Martin.

“You won’t quarrel like the little devils over the magical sandal?”

“What?”

“Well then it’s time for you to hear some Hungarian folklore tales…”

“Can’t we do it after fucking you?” asked Mr. Impatience with my thong in his hand. It was an interesting scenery. In an abstract way it even turned me up, but I had to close my eyes when Martin bit down harder on my skin, near to my collarbones.

“We can, you little devils, we can…” I sat onto Dave’s lap. Martin crawled onto the bed too. He leant back and he was just smiling as he was spinning my bra around his finger. “What do you want, Davie?” I asked him, digging into his hair as I propped my elbows on his shoulders. I felt his hands already stroking along my back and butt.

“Well dunno. I just want you - like usually. Love me and it’ll be good for me in any way you want it.”

“Then let’s have a ‘Mia-conquering’ night, boys” I said grinning “I want to see passion. I want to feel whether you’ve missed me and if yes then how much” I embraced Dave’s neck and propping my head on his shoulder I looked at Martin, who was watching me with piercing eyes, leaning his back against the headboard. Then he turned up his non-existent shirt’s sleeves and Dave pulled his trousers up to – they braced up to do their job. To do me. I laughed out loud and I nearly felt myself like a child as I watched the clowns in the circus. But these clowns weren’t those clowns. These clowns wanted to make love. To me. Now.  
I looked at them grinning and climbing out of Dave’s lap – but I couldn’t get too far.

“Which one of you’ll get me first?” I purred.

It turned out soon that this was a rather silly idea from me, cuz they jumped on me in the same time. It’s great to play such games with them. I didn’t mind it – I just melted to a puddle in their arms and I tried to forget that while he was jumping, Dave bumped my nose and Mart’s chin was right in the pit of my stomach. I was just basking in the warmth of their love. At the end I couldn’t help myself and I giggled, grabbing Dave’s nape with one hand, while the other was stroking Mart’s back.

“What’s so funny?” I heard Martin’s murmur somewhere by my stomach.

“Nothing. It just dawned on me how much I love you – despite my aching nose and stomach” I let my head fall back onto the sheet with a sigh.

“Wait, show me where it hurts, we’ll give a kiss there” said Martin and he pulled my top over my head – Dave like a dutiful partner helped him by my skirt too. It came into my mind that for these playful and joyful moments was worth to be born a woman.

“Firstly my nose” I pointed at the matter in hand. Dave started to pamper it with his soft lips right away.

“And where should I kiss you?” murmured Martin, kissing my sensitive skin right below my breast “Up or down?”

“Down” I panted then I couldn’t speak for a while, cuz Dave sealed my lips with his. His tongue was exploring my mouth greedily, while his hand slid onto my breast. I so wanted their touches! David’s hand discovered every part of my chest and I marveled his long fingers again. I sighed when – leaving my mouth with his tongue and lips – he went down to my tits. Even just the way as they inhaled and exhaled made me horny! With closed eyes I grabbed his hair and let my head fall back onto the pillow. “Mart, go further down!” my back arched as I asked this from Blondie, who was by my bellybutton.

“Yes, my Mistress” he saluted then without any warning he put his mouth onto the right spot.

Dave stopped caressing me and stood up. He started undressing. His gaze was just like in the ‘Barrel of a gun’ video. Things got blurred – Dave was right in front of me in 2007 with his black panther look, a matured man - and despite this he looked a lot like in 1997 when they made ULTRA. If I have had a free hand – which I hadn’t, cuz I was grabbing Martin’s hair with both of them – I would have rubbed my eyes to see if this strange vision disappeared or not.

I went crazy from the sight and I moaned out loud, gasping for air time after time when Martin’s wonderful tongue… uhh… sped up. Dave was wearing only a black boxer as he knelt up onto the bed. It was really difficult to let Mart’s curls go with one of my hands, but somehow I managed and sliding my fingers under its hem I pulled Dave closer by his boxer.

“Oh god, you’re like in Barrel’s video!” I moaned.

“And is it good, or not?”

“Are you kidding… ah…? I go totally crazy… from that area!” I moaned again, letting Mart open my legs wider so he was able to attack me deeper… I was holding Dave’s boxer’s edge firmly until Martin’s licking calmed down a bit. When this happened, I slid my fingers under the boxer and grabbed Dave’s cock.

“What do you want me to be? Do you want me to dance or sing? Or…”

“Could you do both in the same time? You don’t have to do anything else – this’ll be more than enough for my orgasm.”

He giggled “You know you’re corrupted in such a sophisticated way!” and he jumped off the bed. He started singing: "I love the way you talk, I love the way you walk, You're my baby, I've got my eyes on you" he circled with his hips slowly and moving his shoulders forward, he came closer. If I wasn’t that far in my pleasure, I would have laughed for sure, because he did this for me, but instead doing so I was just moaning louder. “Well, what do you think?” he licked the edge of his mouth, watching my agony and my strained body’s unwilling moves curiously.

“You’re… really… good!” I yelled loudly. Of course they couldn’t decide exactly whom I’d addressed this sentence. It seemed that they couldn’t solve the puzzle, cuz Martin looked up at me without giving up his profound work. “Mart! Your fingers!” I groaned, pushing my head against the pillow. My whole body was burning in sweet pain.

Martin obeyed without a word, fulfilling his mistress’s wish while Dave was dancing. Keeping an eye on Dave I was moaning and panting louder and louder as Martin’s fingers were playing deep inside my pussy. His tongue was still working on me and I felt that I’d cum in a sec if nothing’s gonna happen. But nothing’d happened, so I cum right into Mart’s face. My body arched again as I screamed from the joy I felt in that moment. Martin was still moving his fingers contentedly then he crawled over me and kissed me. His tongue was playing with mine in a sensual way.

“Come kitty, now two horny males want to make love to you” Mart murmured in a low tone.

“Come Mia, little Mia, play with us! Now we control you” David said.

“Yours to command! Do as you wish” I looked at Mart, who was pumping his shaft a bit “Or ask me anything – after this I’ll do it” I added.

“I want you to… uhhh… you can read my mind” moaned Martin. I didn’t answer cuz I was taught not to speak when my mouth is full.


	20. Chapter 20

20.

 

I moved my lips quickly on him, but I had to moan when I felt Dave penetrating me from behind. He couldn’t wait. The moves of his hips were rugged, but powerful. I grabbed Mart again, while I felt as our favourite singer pushed deeper and deeper into me. I barely could concentrate on Martin, because of the prancing Dave in me. I had to slide Martin out of my mouth time after time to moan out loud. I couldn’t help myself! Dave set a forceful and impatient pace. I glimpsed up at Mart apologizing. He was resting one hand on my shoulder, while Dave was grabbing my hips and butt. Martin stroked out a mop of my hair from my face and pulled me gently back to him. I tried to be satisfying – when I wasn’t moaning louder because of Dave. His fingers were digging into my skin nearly painfully as he accelerated his pace, moaning deeply.

“Kitty!!! I’ve… missed you so!!” he yelled out in-between two strong thrusts and I felt his palm stroking along my spine.

“Jeez, Dave, I’ve missed you two too… It’s so good to be… together again” I sighed and then tried to concentrate on Mart’s shaft again. When I looked up, I saw Dave leaning to Marty. Over me Mart put his arm around his shoulder and started kissing him. Now I was moaning from this. Because during the kisses Dave’s moves slowed too, I could pamper Curly more properly – which he accepted gratefully. I’ve really missed pleasing him this way! Soon I’ve heard that he moaned into Dave’s mouth louder.

Dave seemed to hesitate – he couldn’t decide what he should do: turn his attention to Mart, or finish things with me. I let him think a while not to risk a hasty decision and meanwhile I had time to “work” on Martin. He couldn’t take this fast pace and sighing into Dave’s mouth he shot into my mouth. I squinted up at him – he was still panting, his head thrown back, Dave kissing his throat. But our singer slowly gave me his place as I was showering Martin’s tummy with my kisses – going upwards to his chest. I was on all fours again and found his lips again.

I felt Dave stroking along my body and ramming into me again. I found it fucking exciting that my body was moving at Dave’s rhythm and I was sighing into Martin’s smiling face. He was caressing my sweaty arms in a satisfied and lazily way. Dave was moaning in a maddening way behind me and I screamed when – during his wild pushes – he leant forward and bit hard into my sensitive skin by my shoulder-blade.

He set a wilder pace and I half-closed my eyes from the pleasure. He panted loudly and in a very erotic way then placing his right hand under me he started something, which made my eyes pop out and the thin line – which connected me to the world – seemed to break.

“Ahhh, JESUS CHRIST!!!” I screamed when - with his fingers’s help - my second orgasm’d exploded in my body and I felt that after a rough thrust he groaned onto my back too. And I saw that dirty Martin was grinning widely.

“What’s so funny?” I asked from him between two pants.

“Nothing, nothing…”

Dave didn’t say a word – maybe because there was not much air in his lungs. He was lying on his back and he smiled at me – his whole body was glistening from sweat. Although he didn’t speak, I could tell what his eyes were telling me. He was happy that he could enjoy love’s pleasures with us anytime he wanted. Martin was still grinning.

“Hey, Marty… tell us what you find this amusing!” Dave asked too.

“Nothing, nothing” he grinned again. I lay down onto my tummy powerlessly in front of him and slid my fingers onto Dave’s chest.

“Of cooourse” I sighed “Out with it or I’ll torture you!”

“Uhh… sounds great!”

“Marty!”

“Alright. I was grinning because I don’t know how many times you’d called us ‘Oh my god’.”

I moaned and pushed my face into the sheet, murmuring something like ‘I can’t believe this’. Martin laughed and Dave caressed my fingers, which were still resting on his chest.

“Do you hear this Dave?”

“Yep, yep. What a compliment, kitty…” he turned to his side. Now he touched my shoulder and he even gave a kiss onto my back, which was still a bit sweaty from his previous attack. Then he bit down onto my wound.

“Or rather vampires” I hissed “I’ll bite you!”

“Do so, Mia!” he moaned lusciously.

“So this was your goal?!” I noted, but my teeth were already in his neck. Although I bit a big one, he didn’t even make a sound. I looked at him questioningly.

“More!” he asked me simply.

“No, no, no, no” I pulled away “Out of my revenge I won’t give you bites. Suffer, my panther!” I stuck my tongue out playfully and crawled backwards, but I bumped into Mart’s leg.

“Where’re you going, kitty? Do you want a bite?”

“Noo, Martin” I laughed as he grabbed me by my waist “You wanna suck my blood?” I giggled as he breathed into my neck.

“Something like that. Would you like it, Mia?” asked Dave, touching his sharp canine with the tip of his tongue. On his neck my harsh-red bitemark was clearly visible.

“Whoaaaa, count Dracula’d crawled out of his grave?” I stroked along his thigh with my foot.

“Seriously Mia – just to know, do you like it when someone bites you? If someone shackles you and…”

“After this that someone fucks you hard?” Martin interrupted.

“Yeah, in this order” I laughed. But after that I stopped laughing, cuz desire made me want all these things they’ve said. I caught Dave’s gaze and it was more that telltale. It yelled: I WANT YOU! “You can play with me, boys…” I straightened my back and slid next to Dave - who was sitting as well – and exchanged a look with him before I bit down on the previous wound on his neck again. Mercilessly.

“Ahh, Mia!” he moaned.

I licked his earlobe “Do you like blood, Davie?” I whispered into his ear while with my left hand I scratched along his shoulder – slowly and mercilessly.

“Ahh, Mia…” he repeated.

“Yes, Dave? What did you want to tell me with this?” I joshed “Hm?” I bit into his shoulder then licked the blood, which started oozing from a long scratch.

“Please, go on!” he grabbed my arm “Let my blood run down on your lips! Give me more, okay?”

“You’ll have to use a lot of make up…” I bit his earlobe again then with a softer kiss I slid down to his neck. I knelt up so I had a better access to his neck. He put his arms around me slowly. And I’ve got dangerously close to that zone by his nape, which Martin stimulated last time in a very effective way. I bit there too – hard. I tasted blood.

Now Martin couldn’t bear it anymore either and he started biting Dave too by the inner side of his upper arm. Dave cried out from this - there the skin is thin and sensitive.

“More!” he moaned with cloudy eyes. I was biting him wilder and in rampageous way while my hand was resting on his hips. But as he was lying there, he grabbed my wrist and pulled it to his groin. I moaned too when I discovered how exciting he’d found our “pampering” so far. I’ve started losing control over us. I didn’t care how hard my bites were and lower, by his collarbones, my teeth tore open a smaller vein. Blood swamped his body and me too. I glimpsed up at him a bit worried, cuz he was bleeding quite badly, but he didn’t give a damn now, just pushed my mouth into his wound.

“Suck it!” he groaned then he cried out lusciously when Martin tore his skin too.

“Dave…”

“Do it!!”

And I obeyed. The taste of his blood was in my mouth, while my free hand started pumping his hard cock. I tried to lick off as much blood off his chest as it was possible then I let him grab my hair by my nape to pull me up to him. He licked off the blood from my chin then he started kissing me passionately. I felt his ragged breath on my face.

“Sit on me” he asked.

And I did this as well. He began to bite me too – first my arms, which were around his shoulders then my breasts. I cried out loud from the sharp pain, but I could feel only his tongue and mouth as he licked my blood and sucked my nipples. He drove me crazy – I bit and scratched him everywhere I could reach him – I didn’t pay too much attention how bad injuries I caused. The taste of his blood in my mouth was heady. I rocked against my ‘saddle’ with my whole weight and I was flouncing on him like mad until David yelled from the sharply sparkling pleasure and pain, which finally reached his brain. The emotions got blurred – in both of us. Meanwhile Martin’d stopped biting Dave – I’m sure he saw that I can cause enough damage by myself – and watching us he moved his hand on his rock-hard erection rapidly.

After the minutes of his pleasure Dave was still whimpering quietly. For a few moments I was still watching his bleeding body, cutting off the taut pace suddenly. I was close too, but he was totally useless now. I got down of him and grabbed Martin’s shoulder with one hand – the other stopped his working hand – and after a minute I was sitting in his lap, continuing my hard gallop.

“Oh god… you’re fucking hard!” I gritted through my teeth.

Dave was whimpering to himself, but Martin grabbed my waist and I went on with my dash – like the messengers did with relays. He didn’t say a word, he was just watching me, and moaned. It was unbelievingly exciting as his eyes – which darkened more and more – were holding my gaze. Both of us were moaning louder now, chasing after relief, which pierced through our sweaty bodies again and again. At the moment of his pleasure Martin threw his head back and dug his fingers into my flesh as he was grabbing my butt. I reacted in a similar way then I let him embrace me tightly, pulling me onto his chest. He was still buried deep inside me.

All three of us were beyond tired. And if I had thought that we had dirty and wild sex before, now I had to rephrase my opinion about this. All I ever wanted was here: "Sea of sin I'm swimming in and I'm taking a dive”.

Air was thin for us again. Every part of my body was hurting, shaking and was heavy like a stone. Neither of us did say a word for a while. Dave was staring at the ceiling totally worn out, but I don’t think he saw much. He was in another place. I watched as his bleeding slowly stopped. Martin slid out of me after a while and he was caressing my back with his fingertips. The magic seemed to break between our bloody threesome and the bed.

I was wondering why we were doing this. What makes us do it? Desire? Just that? Really? No – at least from my side. I really loved them. Until now it was just devotion, but I felt that I was slowly getting lost in them. I think… yes I think I’ve started falling in love with them – turning the devotion into real emotions. Although this feeling inside of me was small when they’d left, this week apart made me realise that beside the desire I feel something else towards them too. I didn’t know how this would end. I knew that it would be wiser not to fall for them completely, cuz what’ll I do when after a while they’ll get bored and they’ll just dump me? Then I can stumble back into my old life like a beaten army with broken heart. Was there a chance to survive that? But I was reluctant thinking about myself as their toy and they weren’t treating me like that either.

Dave slowly came back to earth and smiled at me. I smiled back and he took this as an encouragement – he nuzzled to me like a bitten little puppy, who wanted some strokes. He was so sweet as he put an arm around my waist and rested his head on my chest, quietly breathing into my neck! Martin was just watching us gently and he joined us. I loved being in the middle of our delicious sandwich. With this they kinda answered my dark questions. I knew that our relationship was important to them and this still amazed me. It was as if winning the lottery – you’re really happy, but you’re worried in the same time. But I knew I loved them and this’d help me through everything.

“I think the cleaners’ll be surprised seeing our sheet” I murmured into Dave’s chest “But I’m sure this isn’t the first time you leave blood-stained sheets behind you.”

“It’s not rare by Dave” Mart sighed and yawned then he caressed my side. Dave just gave a grunt and planted a kiss onto the top of my head.

“Kitty, you were amazing again…” he strained his fingers on my butt.

“How true, dear Dave, I nearly fainted from you two!”

They grinned over my head and Dave fastened his hug and pulled me even closer.

“But now for a while… please leave me alone, cuz… I think the minimal jet-lag just arrived… and the travelling… and you…” I murmured half-asleep.

“Sleep, Mia” Martin whispered into my ear.

“Kitties need a lot of sleep…” Dave caressed me and I was bathing in the warmth of their bodies.

“Okay… but after that… we have to treat your wounds…” I said faintly until I fell asleep listening to his heart beats.

\---

We were still sleeping when night came. I woke up slowly as my two loves were sleeping peacefully by my sides. Martin’s body was nuzzled to my back, following my curves like puzzle pieces. Dave’s head was resting on my tummy and one of his hands touched my knee. For a few minutes I was just enjoying the situation, watching my lovers. I smiled as I saw that Dave’s head was following the rhythm of my breathing – up and down, up and down…  
Then my aching bruises warned me that it was better to take care of them. I was surprised by my own neatness as I managed to get out from their embraces. But of course it wasn’t a big thing that Dave didn’t wake up, cuz I’ve remembered when Marty’d built the whole Eiffel tower onto his tummy. I smiled again as I looked back at them over my shoulder. It was a fantastic picture as Dave – nearly curled up into a ball – and Mart – lying on his side – were sleeping soundly.

I collected my clothes and after I dressed up, I went to my room for some fresh clothes and for a nice shower. It was great, although my injuries were stinging uncomfortably. I was nearly ready, putting on the see-trough medical tapes when a sleepy male voice growled by the door.

“Mia, kitty, can I come in? I have to pee” he smiled shyly.

“Sure!” I faltered out and managed to choke down my laughter “But why don’t you go in Martin’s room or in yours?”

“The first was taken, the second too far” Dave murmured.

“You came along the corridor wearing just underwear?” I fumed after a glimpse in the mirror, holding a tape between my fingers “You look like someone who had been beaten up. And your chest is bloody all over! You should pay a little more attention!”

“Yes, m’am!” he said “But I’m sooo sleepy! Well it’d be really nice to see a photo in the newspapers… the perfect family father… But you’ll take care of me, right? You won’t let me go down the wrong road, right?” he hugged me with such a force that I shivered.

“Yes of course David, I’ll take care of you, cuz I love you.”

“Cool” he giggled into my neck, which made me shiver again.

“Now go and pee, I go and put some clothes on” I pushed his hands gently away then let my white towel from around my body land on the floor as I walked out of the bathroom.

After I put on some music deep in thoughts I’ve started searching in my luggage, which was next to the bed. I think it was a K’s Choice album. I’ve heard the water running – he was having a shower. Unbelievable! He comes to me in one dirty underwear, he’ll steal my last clean towel and he’ll go back to Mart’s or his own room contentedly! As he’d said, he’s a no-brainer. Yes, he is, he doesn’t think too much. But his instincts are great, I grinned, especially his basic instincts…

“Are you ready? Can I come in?” I asked standing in front of the half-closed door.

“Why couldn’t you come in?” he opened the door suddenly, scaring me to death “Sorry” he grinned. The light was glistening on his wet chest. Nice little water drops were running down on his red and wounded skin. He was in that certain clean towel. “It’s nice from you to come round” he still grinned.

“Hey! Firstly it’s my room and my bathroom, secondly I came cuz I have to take care of your injuries. They’re quite bad” I pushed him inside. I saw him eying my body in my yellow wife-beater and olive-green trousers, which had many pockets. “Sit down!” I pointed at the chair next to the basin, where previously I’d taken care of my own injuries too.

“Hey, hey, hey! This hurts Mia” he held down my wrist.

“You’re kidding, aren’t you?” I stared at him.

“That was something else – that pain had a purpose.”

“To excite you, right?” I nuzzled to him. He gulped one.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I let you know that this pain has a purpose too.”

“And what’d that be?”

“That we don’t have to go to the surgery and let the doctors open your inflected and purulent wounds, while you’re tossing and turning in fever because of the germs invasion.”

He looked at me petrified “Mia, kitty, did you have a bad dream? What was this?”

“The truth, of course” I answered.

“Do it quickly and let me forget all about this as soon as possible” he suggested.

“As you wish, darling” I smiled at him faintly then stepped aside to reach for some disinfectant and gauze “This’ll sting” I warned him and began to treat my batemark by his collarbone.

“Jeez! This hurts!”

“Dave, honey, don’t be in a tantrum like a little girl!” I warned him again.

“But…”

“No buts!” I said strictly.

“Mia, what’s with you? Did something happen?”

“Nothing had happened to me, why are you asking? Cuz I caught you and I treat your wounds? And I don’t let you prancing meanwhile? If we’re done, please send Mart over too, although he’d survived the party with lighter bruises.

“Mia, kitty, Mia!”

“What’s wrong this time?”

“I want you.”

“Again??” I looked at him with eyes open wide.

“Is it a problem to you?”

“No, it’s just that…” he took the gauze from my hand and threw it into the basin.

“I’m sure you aren’t aware of the fact that you’re fucking hot in this little yellow wife-beater…” he licked his quite okay mouth, where he had just a little wound, while he pushed me against the dresser around the basin. He trapped me. The towel around his waist loosened dangerously – then it fell onto the floor – but in vain. I had other plans.

“David, not now. I want to have dinner.”

His eyes popped out. “Don’t you want me?”

“I want you, sweetie, I’ve missed you badly, but I’m hungry. You’ll get something with chocolate if we go out to have dinner” I gave him a little bait. I saw him fighting with himself, like a dog, which gets a cut of meat and a crispy bone at the same time and can’t decide which one to choose. “No, David” I closed his mouth “You can’t have both.”

“But I didn’t even ate my Godiva off of you!” he protested like a little boy, who tried to stick to the last telling argument to persuade his mother. But luckily I wasn’t his mother.

“But I fulfilled my part of the bet, although I didn’t have to. Just look at your skin. This would have happened if Andy won the swimming. So I compensated this choc-thing more than enough – you can’t have a bad word” I jogged his naked chest, avoiding a smaller wound.

“But Miaaaa!”

“No, Dave, I’m starving! I couldn’t eat since morning, cuz… It doesn’t matter, the point is that I wasn’t able to eat” – from the excitement that I could see them again “And if you don’t call me out somewhere to have dinner with Martin or without him, then I’ll be a pain in the ass” I pushed him backwards – miraculously avoiding the fact that he was fully naked!

“Marty can’t come, he’s with Andy, they have some things to arrange– don’t even ask what kinda things. I’m sure it’s something important, cuz otherwise he’d be sitting in front of the TV, drinking beer.”

“I see, then just the two of us are here for each other!”

“I’m telling you this!” he looked down at his groin. I immediately laughed out loud. He has such a humour! He’s a great guy!

“Hey, hey! He isn’t that small!” he put his hands onto his hips and I was still giggling from this sight.

“No… no… there’s no problem with its size! It fits perfectly into… its place…” I put my hands onto his shoulders and looked him in the eye “I’m just laughing because of your humour, honey! You’re incredible, you!” I pecked his nose gently and gave him a kiss. But before he could capture me, I slid out of his embrace and walked out of the bathroom, still giggling.

“I could say the same…” he noted quietly and I could feel his burning gaze on my back. Grinning to myself, I rolled my hips a bit more.

“I see you in 15 minutes down in the hall. Then you can take me somewhere to have dinner” I waved goodbye. I think he was staring at me shocked and I grabbed a black zipped sweatshirt still smiling.

I checked Martin’s room too, but he wasn’t there, his room was locked. I went down to wait for my Prince Charming there and I hoped he’ll close my room and will bring the keys too. After 20 minutes he appeared and still had that strange expression – the one he had when I’d ‘refused’ him - on his face as he walked to me.

“Can we go?”

“Yep. I know a place. I’ve called Darren to bring the car.”

“Is the bodyguard necessary?”

“Sadly. But now he comes as a driver. He knows a good place” he ran his hand on his slim dark-grey pullover. I guessed that he was wearing this piece, cuz it hid the bad bruises on his neck. I was wondering how he’d cover them at the concert – this was still a mystery for me.

Even in the hotel’s hall I could feel the gazes on me as we went to the car with the bodyguard. It was really strange that people started whispering behind our backs. My eyes were focused on the floor, I didn’t look up.

“With time you’ll get used to it” Dave whispered to me. I didn’t answer just sat into the waiting car with black glasses.


	21. Chapter 21

21.

 

We arrived soon, but I felt his gaze on me during our trip. He was confused. Huh, I confused Dave Gahan! That’s something! I don’t think too many people managed to do so. In the car he didn’t hesitate to share his thoughts with me – we were alone in the back.

“Listen to me, Mia! What’s wrong? What did I do what you didn’t like? I’ve missed you and when you’re finally here…”

“David!”

“… when you’re finally here and I want to love you…”

“David, dearest David” I put my fingers onto his lips “Believe me or not, I’m just hungry. I love you very much and after dinner you can make me yours wherever you want it!”

“Wherever I want it?” he smiled.

“Yeah, wherever you want it. Dave, you’re so sensitive!”

“Yes I know. If something doesn’t happen in the way I want it, I feel like I did something wrong.”

“This is why you’re upset now?”

“Yeah.”

“You shouldn’t” I smiled “I really am just hungry. But you shouldn’t blame yourself every time.”

“It’s out of sheer habit. Unfortunately.”

Before I could answer, we’d arrived.

“Where did you bring me?” I asked curious.

“You’ll see. Nothing extra, just a nice restaurant. Guess what kind of food they serve here?” he smiled at me in a better mood.

“I don’t care just give me some food or else I’ll eat your hand!” I opened the door and got out of the car “Oh, our tomcat’ll have fish for dinner again?”

“Kitty-Mia loves it too, right? Or should I order some Whiskas from the waiter?” he asked grinning. I couldn’t answer cuz I felt the gazes on us again. The waiter led us to a table at the back. I sat down facing the rest of the restaurant, Dave did the opposite, showing his back to the guests.

“Aren’t you ‘afraid’ that we’ll end up in the papers?” I nodded towards the staring people when the drinks’d already arrived.

“I don’t really care” he shrugged “You should do the same. I’ve told you – you’ll get used to it. By the way there’s nothing wrong with inviting your workmate for dinner” he looked at me. His eyes seemed grey from the restaurant’s lights “Cuz you know, you’re here with us because you’re or vocalist” a smile ran through his face.

“Dave, seriously. I wouldn’t be thrilled if my husband were inviting his workmates for dinner. I mean women workmates.”

“You wanted to have dinner somewhere…” he sipped from his tonic.

“Please don’t blame this on me.”

“Mia…”

“Yes?”

“Can we change the topic?” he examined the painting on the wall behind me.

“As you wish” I shrugged. He knows his wife. For a moment an insane and evil thought ran through my mind and I was shocked from myself. I thought that if he wasn’t together with Jen then our threesome could stay close even after the tour. But in the next moment I was scolding myself. Am I this selfish? Again? I’ve promised to myself that I won’t ruin another family again! I’m stupid! I was just watching him from behind my menu and I adored him as he ordered the food. He didn’t say anything particular, but even ordering food was insanely sexy from him. I felt that next to my hunger another need was forming in my body, but I suppressed this one willingly. It was not the time for that – yet!

I didn’t hesitate for too long – I chose my food and waved for the waiter. I really was hungry! I ate fast, kinda in a rush, cuz I wanted my knight to free me from my chastity belt with his strong sword. Jeez, Dave, eat! – I thought. But Dave – who can interpret body-language very well – tried to chew every piece for 30 times, as it was laid down, to have a perfect digestion. I saw now that he was already returning what I’d done to him. Between two bites he flashed his namby-pamby smile at me. But at least it felt great to have something in my stomach. His softly bland smiles drove me crazy, but I tried to stay calm. I tried to finish my food in a neutral way. I had to wait for him, but I stayed strong.

“Dessert?” he asked, pulling up an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you” I said quickly.

He smiled. “Alright darling, I know you’re impatient now. You can’t wait for me to penetrate you and fuck you so hard that you can’t stop yourself screaming out loud” he leant closer and whispered. He was just that close that I could feel his breath puffing against my neck and I could sense the warmth and dazing scent radiating from his body. Then he waved for the waiter and asked me nicely: “You don’t mind if I eat something very chocolaty, do you?” he went on in a low tone “It increases potency.”

I though I’d fell off the chair. The evil beast! I wanted him so badly that it hurt and because he was sitting at the other end of the table – too far from me – I couldn’t start any action under the table. I felt the flames of desire slowly spreading in my body. Even my knee and ankle wanted him. After a while I stopped putting up a fight and waited for him tensely to finish his dessert. I had never thought that in our next lovemaking the foreplay’ll be for me to wait and wait for him. But telling the truth it turned me on madly. And of course he did all his dirty tricks – he licked off the spoon with his sensual lips, he wiped his long fingers with the napkin one by one, he drank as slow as it was possible then licked the edge of his lips.

“David, stop it! Let’s go and fuck me hard, cuz if you don’t, I’ll tear off your trousers right here! Don’t look at me this gloatingly, I’ve learned my lesson you gave me – next time I’ll eat when you don’t want to make love to me. Come on, cuz I go nuts here!”

People should teach the smile that appeared on his face. Don Juan would have cried in jealousy seeing it.

“You’re supple. Very good” he dropped his napkin elegantly next to his plate then waved for the waiter, who was so very slow! In my agony I was whimpering quietly and was panted too. I felt the blood rush in my veins.

“Dave! Please! Come oooon!” I bit on my lip, crinkling the hem of my top.

“It’s not my fault Mia that they hold the waiter up …”

“Dave!”

But before I could say anything else, the world’s slowest waiter came to us and Dave paid for the bill. At that time I was on my feet and was walking towards the exit. Looking back over my shoulder I saw that he was speaking on his phone. I really hoped that he’d called his bodyguard to bring the car. I wanted to believe that he did that! I was standing in the door and when no one paid attention, I grabbed his nice ass for a moment, but with his devil grin he pushed my hand gently away and he rather took it to pull me into the car.

“Back to the hotel, Mr. Gahan?” the bodyguard asked.

“No, Darren. Please just do some circles in the city” he said calmly although my hand was already wandering high on his thigh.

The man nodded and pulled the dark window up, which separated him from us. I literally jumped on him and he let me do it smiling and not moving an inch, sitting and leaning against the backseat. I didn’t care, I just dragged his clothes off of him. His belt was easy to deal with, but that damned pullover got stuck by his head. No matter how funny the divine Dave Gahan looked with a grey pullover on his head, I couldn’t laugh at that moment. I was dragging the pullover over his head like mad as I was sitting on his lap.

“Ouch, my ears!” he moaned laughing.

“It’s not your ears what I need now desperately!” I freed his head finally “Never again wear such a pullover!”

“Why? Doesn’t it fit me?” he grinned watching me as I dragged down my own trousers.

“It does, but now every minute counts!”

“What’s this rush? Is the end of the world here? Meteor-impact or what?” he licked his mouth.

“No, but I’ll cum before I’d sit on you” I opened his trousers hastily and I was already straddling him. He moaned loudly from my move and he cheekily asked:

“Baby, no foreplay just the prime time?”

“I don’t need any commercial. Not now!” I moaned with closed eyes while with a slow move I let him completely inside me. Then I looked at him and I’ve started moving on him hard, grabbing his shoulders. The car’s moving turned me on even more just like the sight as he was resting his head on the headrest. I panted quietly as I undid my bra and grabbing his hands I led them onto my chest.

“Grab me! I want to feel your hands!” I moaned and made a powerful circle with my hips.

Slowly he left his superior keeping-the-distance attitude. His face started blushing and sweating while he began moaning louder and louder – I knew that both of us were at the edge and after a minute we hid our faces into each others necks, groaning and panting raggedly.

“You’re insanely wild! I love it so much! Mia, kitty, what do you do to me? I go totally nuts from you. You want me to be your slave?” he moaned.

“No David. I want us to be each others prisoners, not slaves. I don’t want to miss your touches anymore.”

“You won’t” he kissed along my neck with closed eyes while he was hugging me firmly with his strong arms.

“I hope so” I whispered barely audible, hugging his neck tightly. As I opened my eyes I could see the streets and the traffic. I was glad that the windows were tainted. “Dave, what was the most extreme place where you did it?” I asked without thinking.

“In Japan on the fastest express train’s toilet, but it was really fast in every meaning. And the place was fucking narrow. So as I get older I’m more conservative. Nowadays the mahogany bed with baldachin is enough for me” he smiled “And you? What was your most extreme place?”

“If you had asked me about the most extreme guys then I would have said it was Marty and you” I grinned at him straightening my back, slowly sliding him out of me “But the place… let me see…” I mused for a moment “I think in front of a rock club in the shadows a looong while ago. At dawn, around closing. I’ve heard people coming out of the club” I grinned because of the memories.

“So we are your most extreme guys in your life!”

“Sure, what did you think? I’m a totally average girl and had a completely average life before we met.”

“Mia-kitty, you’re everything but average!”

“Cuz ordinariness is far from you and you evoke the wild cat in me” I softly scratched his chest “I’m never bored with you.”

“Yeah. Is our kitty having fun with us?” he caressed my waist.

“Uhum. I’m not complaining. But I have a question.”

“And that’d be?” he ran his long index finger between my breasts.

“How will you make the wounds on your skin disappear?” I looked at some of his bruises “Cuz there’ll be a concert tomorrow night if I’m not mistaking” well from this thought my stomach flipped. I’ll have to sing again?

“I won’t make them disappear – the girls love it! It evokes every kind of thoughts in them.”

“But Dave!”

“You’ll see – most of them’ll fade away for tomorrow anyway. You know we vampires heal faster” he snarled at me playfully and snapped at my neck.

“Hey, hey! I don’t want to have visible wounds. Or at least not ones which won’t be hidden under my dress” I laughed “There’s no need for them to connect things. Davie…” my hand slid down onto his lower tummy, which made him sigh “Did I tell you that I like vampires?” I gave a peck onto his chin “That I love your sharp teeth?” I licked his lower lip “And that I love tasting the choc on you? Hm?”

“It’s melted, isn’t it? Like me from you!”

“Dave, cute and sweet Dave” I kissed him all over “Jeez it’s so good to be with you!”

He laughed “Kitty, you’re flattering me again!” he stroked along my back.

“Sure! It’s in cats’ nature, isn’t it?”

“Yep, yep” he laughed again and let me kiss his neck “I like being with you too, Mia” he added whispering.

“And…”

“What ‘and’?”

“Do you want me to flatter you a bit more?” I stroked his hot skin by his hips.

“What do you mean exactly?” he looked at me with his piercing eyes.

“Exactly this” I ran my hand along his length. Desire rose in me insanely again. I think I’ve got addicted to him. Or I just wanted to have from the guys as much as it was possible before this dream comes to an end. He took a deep breath, but he didn’t protest when my lips started moving downwards, kissing along his wounded chest. Meanwhile my hand started pampering him again. I felt him getting harder and bigger in my hand. He groaned silently.

“Dear, my dear, I need you anytime I set my eyes on you” he sighed deeply, but he couldn’t get more airs into his lungs. I was lying on my side in his lap and I was sucking him faster and harder “Mia, you’ll kill me!”

He couldn’t bear it anymore – he slightly turned me towards him by grabbing my hips and he sank his fingers into me. He started to move with his hand first gently then more passionate. In and out. In and out. He was licking my hips and I could barely continue what I’d started. I began repeating his name silently when I took him out of my mouth and I moaned lusciously when I took him in again. I couldn’t take it anymore!

Licking along his rock-hard cock I broke away from him, stopped his hand and pulled his fingers out of me just to sit quickly onto his lap, straddling him. But nearly in the same moment he rolled me under him. I don’t know how we’d got enough place, but we had somehow! He had enough place in me – with his full length too… His hips moved forward forcefully as he opened my legs wider. I grabbed his left hand – which was in me moments ago – and looking into his eyes I slowly took his index and middle finger into my mouth. I wanted to taste myself on them. From this he got turned on even more and his thrusts got faster and stronger, but then he slowed down – maybe the Japanese express’s rest room came into his mind.

I smiled at him after I let his hand go, exchanged a short kiss with him then I panted as he accelerated his moves intensity, stroking along my thigh. I didn’t care if the bodyguard could hear us – I’ve got louder and louder. I couldn’t remain silent if I was with him! Impossible! Then from one of his sudden moves my body tensed and straining my hips even more I moaned into his mouth. And he – using this move to the full – pushed even deeper in me, setting us free from the torturing desire’s agony.

We were lying there in silence – just our silent pants could be heard. There was no need to move, we were embracing each other interwoven. Although he was motionless I felt him inside me and I felt the hot wetness between my thighs. Somehow it made me feel fertile. I felt like a woman from his semen inside of me. Now I realised why it was said that the man makes his wife a woman on the wedding bed. How strange thoughts are running in my head, I mused and hugged the man tightly, who evoked such thoughts in me.

“Mia… sweet Mia… what kind of spell did you put on me?” he whispered barely audible.

I had to cock my ears if I didn’t want the car’s noises take his words away. I didn’t answer just gently ran my fingers in his wet hair by his nape then after a minute I searched for his mouth and we started kissing each other softly. The car was moving under us nicely. I didn’t want these moments to come to an end! We were so… cohere. I felt myself so… whole!  
Our kisses slowed down then we slowly stopped as I stroked along his face and looked into his eyes, which seemed pitch-black in the strong half-light.

“Now I know what’s real happiness” I whispered caressing the line of his jaw again.

“You say it’s real happiness being with me?”

“Yes, I say exactly that. I love you so much.”

“Me too” he answered simply and closed his eyes.

Just two short words which meant immensely lot to me.


	22. Chapter 22

22.

 

After a few minutes we were presentable when we got out of the car in front of the hotel. Fortunately there weren’t many fanatic fans by the entrance. We were on our way to the lift when my cell phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my bag curiously. It was Martin.

“Hi. What’s up?” I asked why he was in such a hurry.

“If you’d satisfied the panther enough, we’d like to see you in the hotel’s bar with Anton to speak about your stage stuff” I heard his slightly impatient voice. I couldn’t understand this guy. I suspected that his problem was that I’d disappeared with Dave. We had a contradiction here. Earlier he was upset cuz he didn’t want Dave to go out with anybody. Now I went out with him. So I’m an ‘anybody’ too? Or did I just misunderstood the situation and he’s nervous because of Anton? The easiest way to clear this up was me going into the bar.

“Dave, it was Marty. They’re waiting for me with Anton in the bar. Are you coming or are you going to roost?”

“I think I’ll skip this meeting, I go up to my room and call Jen.”

“Okay” I nodded then turning my back to him I hurried towards the bar.

After a short search I glimpsed them sitting in the half-light, their table lit only by a discrete lamp. They were sitting there, drinking. Again. In front of Martin there were at least three bottles of beer and three short drinks – enough for a horse. But he didn’t seem drunken, just nervous.

“Mia, Mia come here!” he waved to me.

I walked to the table and sat next to him – Anton started speaking right away. Martin seemed downright relieved – maybe cuz until I sat down Anton was blabbing for him. Curly ordered another round and he didn’t even ask me what I wanted – he ordered ‘Whisky on the rocks’ for all three of us. I looked at him confused. He caught my gaze and looked back provocatively. I knew that it wouldn’t matter whatever I’d say to him, he’d take that as bantering. So I remained silent and drank my drink. What was Mart’s problem this time? I thought he wouldn’t refuse some kindness and I put my hand onto his knee. He didn’t react just ordered another round. I slowly started worrying. Something was wrong, I felt it. I was a bit scared but I didn’t show it. I pulled my hand back and put them around my glass the waiter just brought out. I hated whisky, but I drank this one straight. Before the waiter could go back to work, I whispered to him that if Martin orders another round then he should bring me whisky-cola.

I tried to pay attention on Anton’s instructions about the way I should move on stage, how I should look and stuff like that but he didn’t speak too clearly. Maybe because of his excitement or because of the drinks he put some Dutch words into his sentences. But I understood mostly everything and I tried to avoid Martin’s grunts next to me. He ordered another round. Fortunately the waiter hadn’t forgotten my request and he brought me whiskey-cola. Anyhow I could already feel the previous ones in my head. I never liked short drinks too much.

I drank the next one and the world seemed to sink, the colours turned brighter and the voices were sharper. The drinks seemed to upset me. I had to do something quickly before it gets worse, just because he was ordering me drinks in a row. I stood up and told Marty that I go to the toilet. I thought I try to puke before I’ll feel really sick. With a help of a pen I managed to do so. Then I washed my face and called Dave, who was already sleeping.

“David, please come here, I need you!”

“Mia, honey, I was sleeping. We were together just a few minutes ago – is this really that acute?”

“Dave, not sex but trouble. Come down to the ladies’ room next to the hall.”

I’ve heard on his voice that he was more aware now, getting what I’ve said. “Okay, I’m on my way Mia, I just put on some clothes. Stay there!”

\---

“Jeez, you look awful!” I’ve heard the disheveled panther’s voice.

“Thanks very much, that was nice. But this isn’t the point.”

“Then what? Tell me why I had to leave my warm bed behind” he yawned.

“Because of Martin” I saw that his eyes got more alert and dark.

“What’s with him? What did he do again?”

“There’s something wrong with him, David. He ordered me there and ordered a lot of drinks for us. He wanted me to drink too. I had to go and puke so I don’t feel the drinks too much. I was nearly scared of him! Dave, we have to do something or figure out what his problem is!” I grabbed his forearm.

“Uh-uh, kitty can you go up to the room alone?”

“Yes, I think. David, when I’d arrived to their table there were already a lot of drinks in front of them. He drinks whisky and drinks beer as an accelerator.”

“How much did he drink?”

“Well… maybe 6 whiskey and 4 or 5 beers.”

“Jesus, please call Darren, I go in.”

“Dave, what’s happening?”

“Just go, please! Later… Go!” he freed his arm softly and hurried into the bar. I though it was better for me to look for Darren. The bodyguard wasn’t crabby because I woke him up. He got used to it that he must go whenever they call him. He hurriedly put on a T-shirt and sweatpants and he was already on his way downstairs. I had to jog next to him to keep up.

“Miss, I think it’d be better for you to stay here” he stopped me at the bar’s door.

“But…”

“Please” he looked at me with ‘pleading’ eyes, which wasn’t popular among bodyguards.

“OK… okay” I folded my arms, but after he walked through the door, I peeked inside.  
Martin was babbling for himself – Anton wasn’t there. David tried to embrace his shoulders, but Martin shook off his hand and yelled loudly “Go away Dave! I don’t need you! Go away! You’re not needed here! Fuck off!”

I saw Dave’s face twitch, but he went on trying to help Mart up. I was afraid that in his drunken state of mind he’ll say something he’d awfully regret later and maybe it’ll ruin their career too. Even this outburst was a bit telltale, but if someone doesn’t suspect anything, he won’t waste a second thought on this. Darren got there too and before Mart could have said anything else he simply horsed him and using the exit by the rest rooms he stepped into the lift with him. This was the moment when Mart started puking. I put a hand on my aching stomach and tried to calm myself as I slowly climbed the steps and went to my room.

\---

I was slightly shocked when I sat on the balcony. Now I needed a cigarette. I rarely smoked, but now I felt the need for it. I’d never seen Martin like this before, although I could have prepared myself for such situations. I was wondering what he’d have done to me if I was alone with him. Crazy thoughts were running through my head, I couldn’t help it. After a while I forced myself to stop. I rather started thinking about what his problem could’ve been this time, but even after 30 minutes I was clueless.

“Can I join you?” suddenly I heard Dave’s voice from the left, which made me jump.

“You’ve scared me. But you can join me” I waved toward the other chair. He sat down.

“Kitty, tonight I’ll sleep here with you, okay?” he asked and as I looked at him I saw how tired he was “Martin finished me off.”

“Of course you can sleep here, sweetie” I sat onto his lap.

“Mia, tell me why did I want this, hmm? Don’t you know?”

“Cuz you love him. And he loves you too.”

“Yeah, sure. He screams at me that I’m a heel, who’s ready to fuck with anyone – no matter if that someone is a man, a woman or an animal – and he yells at me to get out of there. Really. It’s a bit rough for a love statement, isn’t it?”

“Dave, he’s drunken!”

“And then his words won’t hurt that much? It’s so good that you’re here! If you weren’t, I’m sure I’d have run off, running in the night towards something blurry and dangerous! Anyhow… it hurts this much because partly he’s right.”

“He’s right?”

“Well, there were things that had occurred in the past.”

“But now what’d happened? You were with me, for God’s sake!”

“Yes I was and this’d be okay, but in this way he’d stayed here with his sick brain and usually when the situation is like this he starts to imagine stupid things.”

I sighed a big one and looked at him “For example?”

“How’d I know? I can’t look into his cloudy head. From his screams I managed to catch that when we go out without him, he thinks that we talk about him behind his back and we laugh at him, or dunno what else he’d said. And that he’s sure that I take you to shady places etc… I don’t know how these thoughts can come into his mind.”

“I’ll talk to him after he’d slept.”

“It’s unnecessary” he stroked my arm, which was around his shoulder.

“No, it’s not. I’ll tell him what I have on my mind even if he won’t listen to me. But at least I’ll try.”

“Okay, as you wish. But I tried to explain it too, but I guess mainly because of the booze it’s hard to handle him.”

“He’s rather scary” I played with the neck of his T-shirt.

“You were scared of him, kitty?” he hugged me even tighter.

“A little. I haven’t seen him like this before. It was strange.”

“Don’t be afraid, Mia. He won’t hurt you or anything like that. And by the way I’d protect you if needed.”

“Thank you David” I looked into his eyes sadly “You know it just hurts seeing him like this. Back in the time when I was just one of your fans I hadn’t had the chance to see him like this – although I’d heard that he drinks a lot. Now it shocked me a bit. I’d never liked when a man was under alcohol’s influence.”

“Bad memories?”

I nodded.

“Own experience? Someone from the family?”

“No, thank God, but when I was a teenager, my best friend’s dad’d scared us to death. He assaulted my friend not just once and he managed to ruin our friendship” I shrugged “Since then I’m a bit unsure in such situations.”

“I’ll talk to Martin!” he stated firmly.

“No, you don’t have to. It’s okay. I can handle it… so to say. It’s just…” I left my sentence unfinished as I followed a curly line with my index finger on his T-shirt “Well, I was just surprised. You know I was wondering about what’ll happen if he says something in public, I mean about you two. That wouldn’t be nice at all…”

“You’re right. This is why I ran to him. But of course people can say that he was just babbling in his drunken delirium, but they can start thinking about it too… That’d be surely the end of Depeche.”

“And he loves you that much that he’d endanger the most important and biggest part of your lives?”

“It seems!”

“Dave, can I ask you something? It’s very prickly…”

“Sure. After all this we don’t have too much to hide. At least not in front of you.”

“Do you love him as much as he loves you?”

He looked at me from the side and was eying me.

“Jeez, Dave, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No prob, you have to know what you’ll take on, although I don’t like speaking about this. I love him very much. But maybe he’s the one who… It’s not like this is more important to him, but he handles this more stiffly… or dunno” he shook his head.

“He takes it too seriously?”

“Something like that” he took my hand and interwove our fingers.

“Isn’t it possible that… this is partly because he’d ‘lost’ his family? Isn’t this why he takes your relationship this seriously? Maybe he’s afraid that he’ll end up alone at the end and this is why he’s this hungry for love. But in hunger for love you could cope with him, but you’re another story. But Martin…”

“Probably this is in it too…” he mused and examined my hand and colourless nails.

He didn’t say a word for a long while, he was just playing with my hand deep in thoughts. He ran his fingers on my palm then he started drawing circles there with two fingers. He slowly moved to the sensitive skin between my fingers and he began caressing them, moving towards my wrist. I looked into his eyes and my gaze sent just one message: “I want you”.  
I softly squirmed on his lap as my body started burning again despite that my head was full of Martin. Was that possible that next to Dave’s personal charm I still felt the whiskeys? Although I few hours’d passed since that.

He let my hand go and reaching under my yellow wife-beater he began caressing my waist. He ran his left hand on my side while he was kissing me softly. I hugged his neck tightly. My left breast was pressing against his chest as I was sitting one-sided on his lap.

“Dave… do you know that… my hand is… one of my… erogenic zones?” I whispered into his mouth, breaking our kiss time after time.

“Now I know it” his hand slid under my yellow top, reaching for my right breast.

“Dave… Dave maybe we shouldn’t…”

“Don’t you want it?”

“Jeez, sure I want it, but I drank a lot and…”

“You’re afraid that I’ll take advantage of the situation and make you mine?”

I nearly had an orgasm just from this sentence, cuz our little car-tour in the city came into my mind too.

“Dave, I’m afraid that you won’t take advantage of the situation… Love me, please. I wouldn’t be able to sleep without it…”

“Neither… would I…” moaned Dave as he pulled me after him with one hand – with the other he was loosening his trousers and tried to shake them off. I found him even jumping on one leg, trying to get rid off his jeans really hot! If I were his jeans, I’d have done the same. He’s such a great guy that even his jeans are jealous at him… I laughed out loud and a bit drunken.

“What’s so funny?” he squinted at me. I just kicked off my shoe, but from the move I landed on my butt, next to the bed.

“Ouch!” I laughed lamenting because of my butt.

“Did I tell you that you’re charming when you’re tipsy?” he grinned, shaking his head and he bent down to pull me up, which was now easy without his insistent jeans.

“And did I tell you that you’re fucking sexy no matter what you do?” I licked his mouth, nuzzling to him and with an elfish gaze I slid my fingers under his T-shirt to turn him on with feather-light touches by his waist. I knew that stimulating this part of men’s body turns them on extremely.

The impact came soon – a feral growl came from his throat and I felt that he had absolutely no problems with his erection. As his body was pressed against mine, I knew that if it was necessary, he could’ve crushed a stone with it. I laughed again from this thought. But he didn’t let me laugh for too long – on the bed he turned me onto my tummy and with one move he knelt behind me and lifted my hips. He immediately rammed into me all way long.  
I screamed from the feeling as he was straining in me. And if all this wasn’t enough, he whispered dirty things into my ear between two thrusts, driving me totally insane.

“Tell me more… things like this! Ah!” I cried out loud, grabbing the sheet firmly. I felt his hands all over me, I felt him on and in my body. He slid as deep as it was possible.

“It turns you on?” he moaned grasping for air.

“Yes! Oh, yes! Yeah… More! Please!” I screamed again as he rammed into me with even greater force. I thought he’d tear me apart, but my body didn’t mind his attack at all. He helped to forget everything else. “Dave, tell me!”

“Baby, I’ll fuck you! I’ll fuck you so hard that you wouldn’t be able to walk!”

“And… what… else’ll you… do to me?”

“What else? I’ll fuck you until you’re begging for mercy! That you’ll cry for me to stop and give more in the same time! Come, lift your hips a bit, I want to feel you even more! Mia, do you feel as I’m inside you? Do you feel how hard I am?”

“Aaand now just mine… Dave… give it harder… come on… come on…”

“Grrr… no prob, I can do this harder… just stand it, you little nympho! Hey, tell me… what’s on your lil’ dirty mind! Hmm… tell me…” and he pushed his body even harder into mine.

“That I fucking love that you’re nearly raping me, you… you animal! More! Deeper! I want to feel pain! Dave, you’ll fuck me that hard that I’ll cry from pain and pleasure in the same time, won’t you?!” I yelled then I started biting the edge of the pillow, feeling the sensual pain, lifting my hips higher.

“Sure I’ll fuck you, you little bitch! Do you want more, huh? Do you want more?!” he rattled more and more excited.

“Yes! OH, yes! YES!” I screamed into the pillow as my tears welled up from the pain, which shot through me in the moment my orgasm’d exploded in my body. I screamed out desperately to the world that Dave fucked me again – and not in any way! My fingers turned white as I was still grabbing the creased sheet firmly, my body swimming in sweat.

But David hadn’t finished yet and I let him rave in me half-consciously. There was no better word than ‘raving’ for that what he was doing, growling in a deep voice. The beast broke free in him and after a few more thrusts this beast had reached his goal he was fighting for. Strong jolts ran through his body and he whispered or rather growled into my ear: “You’re very good, my little whore…”

When he came round and his wild heart beat let him speak again, he continued:

“My sweet little white-livered nymphomaniac kitty, did I manage to satisfy you?”

Because I was still panting with Dave’s weight on my body – feeling his sweaty skin and still hard cock between my legs – I could just whimper approvingly.

“What’s up, darling? Did the kitty take your tongue?” he bit my earlobe.

I shivered as he was pinning me to the bed with his weight. I swallowed hard.

“Rather the devil…” I moaned.

“You’re flattering me again…”

“I really won’t be able to get up… it hurts and fills me with satisfaction in the same time…” I sighed still gasping for air.

“Well my kitty, you give me hard work here” he wiped his forehead off, sitting on the edge of the bed. I go and have a shower then I climb next to you to grab some sleep, okay?”

“Okay” I said lazily, stretching my body contentedly and yawned.

“You really are like a cat” he looked back over his shoulder.

“Theoretically my zodiac is a cat too.”

“The stars are never wrong!” he laughed “I bet you’d have felt yourself happy in Egypt back in the past when they worshipped cats…”

“Probably” I purred lying on my tummy, but just one of my eyes was visible over the pillow. I felt the sweat slowly cooling down on my body, which made me shiver, but I wasn’t able to move more. Tomorrow I’ll have to walk on my hands. It’d be great on stage – just like in the video of ‘Shake the disease’! I giggled from this thought right into the pillow then I fell asleep immediately. It’s not a wonder that Scotts drink milk with whisky and honey, if they can’t sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

23.

 

Next morning after I took a shower and we got dressed, our first way led us to Mart’s room to see how he was after his hard night. The bodyguard’d opened the door after we knocked. Martin – after a shower – was lying on the bed in a bathrobe, his arms folded on his chest. He looked exactly like someone on his funeral. I was sure that Dave thought the same, cuz his face grimaced painfully.

“How’s he?” he asked turning to the bodyguard.

“Not well. He’s a hung over. A hell-like. During the night he’d mentioned you two a few times, but nothing extra. After I made him puke again and forced him to have a shower, he fell asleep quickly. Now he doesn’t want to eat or move” he shrugged pitifully.

“Thanks Darren, go and have a rest” Dave patted the big guy on the shoulder and I sent a grateful glimpse at him too.

“Thank you, Mr. Gahan.”

“Just Dave. And I’m sorry that…”

“No, don’t feel sorry… Dave. I’ve seen such and even worse things” he stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I wanted to go to Mart quickly, but Dave put his hand on my upper arm. I understood. After he let me go he walked to him slowly and sat down onto the edge of the bed.

“What do you want here?” he grunted and turned towards the wall “Just go. You two get on well without me!”

“Mart, you’re mad at me?”

“Shush Mia, let me…”

“I go, okay?” the tears welled up in my eyes.

“No, you won’t. Sit down onto that couch and wait patiently” David asked quietly.

“Alright” I sniffled, but before I did so I stroked Mart’s back, who was still motionless.

Dave sat down onto the bed – tightly next to Martin – his thigh and knee by Martin’s hip. He trusted the power of physical contact, his charisma and Martin’s love. He didn’t say a word just hugged Martin with his arms and put his head onto his shoulder. He stayed like this at least for a minute. Martin sighed a big one, turned onto his back, took his friend’s face into his hands and was just staring into the emerald eyes.

“Fool…” Dave whispered gently with a small smile in the corner of his lips.

“If you’re here to insult me…” he dropped his hands.

“No, Mart, you know… It’s just…”

“No, I won’t change. I won’t go to any rehab. I don’t need anything.”

“I didn’t want to… but Martin you scare Mia” he whispered in a way I couldn’t hear what they were talking about so I rather continued crinkling the hem of my olive-green skirt.

“I’ll talk to her later, it’s just that the world is still spinning like you on stage” he smiled faintly at David, who laughed kindly and hugged him firmly. Martin looked up gratefully into his eyes when their gazes’d changed and started sparkling. I bit down on my lip as I turned my tear-stained face toward them then I left the room without a noise, ignoring Dave’s pervious request to stay. I stumbled down the corridor until I’ve reached the staircase and I sat down there on an outlying part and pulling up and hugging my legs I’ve started crying again. But not just because of Martin.

\---

I was sitting there maybe for one hour thinking about the events, but couldn’t decide which behaviour’d be proper after this. Without returning to my room I went for a walk – thinking that the fresh air’ll clear my head. As I was walking on the old inner city’s streets I felt the steamy and stifling heat. The sky was heavy with storm clouds and the masterful sun shed its unasked and unpleasant heat as it appeared again and again. The thunderbolts ran through the sky faintly then I’ve heard the rumbling too – the storm was there.

It was raining hard, the rain drops were knocking on the red roofs and on the high buildings through the grotesque gargoyles’ mouths smaller cascades were falling below. At this time I was alone on the streets – every normal people eluded the furious storm – just me, the lonely cat was different. I was soaking wet in less than one minute, but I didn’t care, cuz the whirling emotions inside me were raging with the same intensity. Storms outside and inside… It was a stormy day!

I was walking on the streets quietly – sometimes finding a shelter in a doorway if hail came too, but after a while just the rain was washing the streets. Although cats don’t really like water, I loved walking in the rain. Somehow it calms me down and brings the feeling of purity, but this time not as much as I’d expected. Somehow I felt myself guilty, but I didn’t know why. Maybe I thought that this relationship was wrong, because I was in it with my two idols? I was wondering what I was doing in a totally unknown city. I checked and looked around. Just a few cars drove by in the alley where I was, passing unmarked next to my slightly shivering self as I was standing there with my arms folded in front of my chest. Then I looked up at the clouds and closed my eyes, letting the raindrops wash my face. A blue mood came on me. An old caption came into my mind: “I love standing in the rain, cuz then no one can see my tears”. How true.  
Finally I’ve turned back to the hotel, relying on my senses to find the right way, cuz I couldn’t find a cab anywhere. I was walking soaking wet and shivering. My wet hair stuck to my face. Then I glimpsed the familiar building. They were certainly worried about me. Or just maybe.

When I went to my room to have a shower and to change my clothes, everything was quiet. I peeked out of my room, but the corridor was silent too, although the whole DM crew was on this floor. I was wondering where everyone had gone… First I knocked on Dave’s then on Mart’s door, but nothing. I went down the stairs and I was just about asking the receptionist where everybody was when a stranger – a man named Robert – came to me. Seeing my DM venue pass he asked me to go with him, cuz they boys were waiting for me, they just couldn’t reach me on my phone. What an amateur I was, I thought, a professional never forgets her job, no matter which kind of emotions are torturing her. I felt shameful.  
Robert took me to the sound check and during our drive he’d told me that the boys were really nervous because I’d disappeared. I was sitting on the passenger’s seat quietly, watching the wet streets.

Inside the bustling was big – technicians were running around everywhere, yelling instructions to each other. Dave and Mart were standing on the stage and were rehearsing ‘Precious’. For a moment I stopped in the shadows and I was listening to the song a bit sadly, but the technicians had stopped it again. Why was I afraid to face them? And why can’t I keep my emotions in check?

The boys were waving for me wildly to hurry, cuz I should really take my place. My knees went week for a moment as I was climbing the stage’s stairs. When I got up and took my place behind Dave, he smiled at me reassuringly. Martin’ sent me just a faint smile and went on with the serious conversation with a technician. I was still in this stupid mood when it was my turn and I’ve started singing. Why did I feel guilt? I was doing my own business quietly – pretending that everything was fine. Sometimes my eyes met Martin’s but I always looked away. Finally the sound check was over and everything’d found its place. Everything – except my twisted emotions.

As we got back the boys went into the bar to chill out a bit cuz they had to go back to the arena in two hours time. It was important to them to eat something before the show. I apologized and went to my room to lie down onto my bed fully dressed. I knew that something was going to happen. I couldn’t leave them behind, because of the contract I made with the DM management, but staying hurt. I wanted to be alone and in the same time I desperately needed their consolation. I couldn’t eat from nervousness and from the uneasiness I’ve started to feel. I was shivering. It wasn’t that disturbing, but time after time I felt cold – probably because of the weather.

None of them came up to check on me. This evoked ambivalent feelings in me – on the one hand I was happy being alone, but on the other hand it made me sad that it didn’t matter to them what was with me. But I didn’t complain. I saw on them that Martin slowly found his way back out of his depression, or at least they had no hard feelings now. I’m sure they’d talked it over. But who’ll talk it over with me? I had no clue why I felt like a little lost girl.

A knock on the door’d waken me up after an hour. I walked hopefully to the door, but it was just that Robert guy who just came to tell me that he’ll take me to the arena so I can get ready for the show. I nodded sourly while I felt that I was missing the boys. It felt like I was a martyr.

\---

I felt myself sick. My forehead and body was burning – I’m sure I had a fever – but I wanted to do the show. I’ve got dressed and holding a diet coke in my hand I was just staring in front of me. I suddenly came round and sensed someone behind me. It was Martin, who sneaked in like a cat.

“I’m sorry if I scared you. I knocked, but you were deep in thoughts…”

“No problem” I wiped away a few sweat drops from my nose then sipped from my coke and turned my blushed face to Martin “What’s up?”

“Well since last night we hadn’t had the chance to see each other – except for the morning when I wasn’t very nice. Dave’d told me that I’ve scared you… I’m sorry.”

“No. You haven’t.”

“You don’t have to deny it” he said.

“Alright, no problems here, it occurs” I shrugged and turned away to put my glass down and to grab the table’s edge without him noticing it. I hoped I was strong enough to do my job on stage.

“What’s the matter Mia?”

“Dunno. I went for a walk in the storm when you… when you two… So I ended up soaking wet and I was so confused and I probably caught a cold and I have fever too and I feel quite dizzy.”

Martin looked at me with such a guilty expression that I had to laugh no matter how bad I felt myself. “Your expression is very cute, do you know?” I said giggling.

“Come here Mia, let me see your forehead! This is hot, come with me under the shower… take off your clothes!”

“Martin we’d left just 15 minutes…”

“I know but without this you wouldn’t last. While you’re taking off your clothes, I call Dave, he’ll bring medicine for you. He always has a lot of such things. We’ll be on time, don’t worry. But after the concert I bring you back in my arms, you poor thing!”

I didn’t protest anymore - after a minute I was standing naked in front of him, but I was sure that tonight I’ll sing without make-up, cuz it was impossible to redo it before the show…. Martin’s touch dragged me back to reality. He led me into the bathroom and gently pushed me under the shower. He hadn’t hesitated for too long – the cold water arrived and I started shaking even more and my mouth slowly turned blue. When Dave appeared at the door and looked at me, he nearly threw away the pills and the bottle of mineral water.

“Jesus Christ, kitty! What did you do to yourself?”

“Nothing, it just turned out like this” I hissed from under the water.

“Alright, alright” he said.

After five minutes of torture Martin let me out of the shower cabin and with a soft towel he dried and rubbed every part of my body. I’d have enjoyed his care, but I felt too sick for that. I took the pills from Dave, drank a few gulps and put my dress on. At this time they were calling us. When we stepped onto the stage, I pulled myself together.

The world was spinning a bit – I had to hold the micstand – but thanks to the pills and the shower I was okay. I saw Mart’s and Dave’s anxious gazes on me time after time during the concert, but at least my voice didn’t fail me. Yet. After ‘Never let me down again’ I stumbled down off the stage – I knew that just ‘Insight’ and ‘Goodnight lovers’ had left, where they didn’t need my help so I rather went into the dressing room. I curled up on the sofa and pulled a blanket over me, cuz I was still shaking and I was cold. I felt myself awful again. It seemed that the reflectors’ light brought the fever back. The sweat on my forehead was cold as I was waiting for the boys and I swore to myself that I’d never fool around in the rain for this long again. My head was dizzy when I fell half-asleep so I couldn’t see Mart looking anxiously at Dave as they quietly entered the room.

“Dave, please call Jonathan to tell the hotel’s doctor that we’re taking her right away.” He picked me up and holding me in his arms he went down the corridor with quick paces.

“Martin let me help” his bodyguard asked, but Mart shook his curly head.

“I carry her.”

David was following us but I saw just blurry figures – I recognized Dave from his scent. Strange thoughts started whirling in my head. I felt myself light and I was flying high in the sky as an angel. Then I’ve started falling and I hit the ground. Then I found myself in a white room where a man was kissing me then another did the same – after this: white fog and pain. Sharp lights and terrible pain again. Later they’d told me that I was tossing and turning unconscious for two days. And that I had high fever – they barely could ease it. I had no memories about the last time when I was this ill. But from what? Was this just because of the rain, or my emotional state’d influenced my illness too? Dunno.

\---

I opened my eyes carefully. There was semidarkness in the room. I didn’t know where I was – still in Brussels or already in another country? My cover was up to my chin, I was lying on my side and I felt that my mouth and throat were awfully dry. I nearly died for a little water or something to drink – I think after a moan I coughed dryly.

“Kitty! Finally you came round!” I’ve heard Mart’s voice, but it was as if it cut into my head. I grimaced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to” he went on a lot quieter and he helped me sitting up and gave me a paper cup with water. He helped me drinking it in slow gulps.

“Where am I? Where are we? And…” another hacking cough “what’d happened?”

“You’ve got acute pneumonia with wet lungs. Mia, we were so worried. Dave hadn’t slept for days, look, he just fell asleep on that chair.”

I turned around and saw Dave on a hospital chair in an awkward position. He was unshaven and was puffing softly. How could I think that I wasn’t important to them? It’s just that not everything was about me. I smiled at Martin gratefully.

“Thank you Marty” I said “Tell me are we still in Brussels? What’s with the concerts?”

“Yes, we’re still in Brussels. We didn’t want to move you around until you can stand travelling.”

“But the concerts! Don’t cancel them because of me!”

“No worries kitty, after the concert here we had 3 days off. And it’s the third day. We hit the road tomorrow morning. But you’ll come after us when you’re in a better condition.”

“No, no, no!” I protested which caused more coughing.

“Mia, this isn’t a game. Calm down” Martin asked and put his palm onto my forehead “You’re still quite warm, but at least you don’t need the infusion anymore.”

“Christ! I had one?” I asked hoarsely and signaled that I want more from the water.

‘Yes. It seems it wasn’t a bright idea for you to sing on the show in that heat, which came from the reflectors.”

After I drank a few gulps, I rested my head on the pillow. I was tired and my eyes were burning too. “Well it seems it wasn’t. But I don’t care, I go with you no matter what. You can’t leave me here!”

“But Mia this is for your own sake. We just want to take care of you, we want to help!”

“You do these things the best when I’m with you” I took his hand with a faint smile on my face.

For a few minutes he didn’t say a word just examined my face and eyes.

“You’d really scared us, Mia. Don’t do this to us anymore.”

Meanwhile Dave started to squirm too and he slowly opened his eyes. He sat up right away and in his troubadour way he knelt down and kissed my hand.

“Welcome back in the world of the living, Milady.”

“Was your kiss that woke me then?” I joined his game.

“No way!” my blonde hero pushed David out of the way “it was mine!”

I laughed, which turned into coughing again. After a few moments I looked at them. My eyes were teary because of the strain. I went on in a hoarse tone “If you want to kill me then you’re on the right way… Please give me more from that water…” I whispered.

“Here you are” Martin reached for the cup, but Dave took it from his hand.

“Let me! You did this already.”

“Hey! It doesn’t matter. You fell asleep!”

“I don’t care!”

“Hey! Hey! Boys… it doesn’t matter at all who… gives me something to drink… just give it to me already!” I grabbed my blanket, trying not to cough again.

Who said that the members of Depeche Mode can’t do compromises? Martin gave me the paper cup and David put a strew into it.

“Here you are, Kitty-Mia” he said laughing. And it didn’t matter that I was in a hospital, my heart was laughing with them.

Then they left me alone when they saw that I was tired. The doc didn’t have to use any sedatives to make me sleep. Both of them were still in the room when it had happened, so I couldn’t feel as my dear Martin stroked my arm. The doc said that for safety’s sake and for faster recovery he stuck in the infusion again for the night. Then Curly kissed my forehead, which wasn’t that warm anymore.

“It’s my fault. I screwed it up again. She nearly died because of me” he noted quietly as he straightened up, resting his gaze on my blushing face.

“Don’t worry about this anymore. You can’t change the past” Dave asked and hummed into his firend’s ear: “I need to be cleansed, It's time to make amends, For all of the fun, The damage is done…”

“Dave, you jerk!” Martin squeezed Dave’s hand “But I love you the way you are, do you now that?”

“I know. Mart!”

“Yes?”

“And we love Mia too, right? Cuz… I khmm fell in… so she’d wrapped me around her finger.”

“Yes, I know what you’re talking about. It starts to feel the same for me too…”

They exchanged a knowing look then Mart let Dave’s hand go.

“Come on, Mart, we have to go, Kessler is waiting for us. He wants to talk to us” said Dave.

“Let’s go. We’re late again. Let our kitty rest a bit. But… will we leave her behind or will we take her with us tomorrow?”

“It’ll depend on her condition.”

“The doc said that they try to bring her in such a condition that she’ll be able to come with us, but he said they can’t guarantee anything.”

“Then we leave her here?”

“We’ll see, Dave, we’ll see.”

They walked out of the room to do their other businesses.


	24. Chapter 24

24.

 

Next day my fever was gone, but I was very weak. The doctor suggested that I should sit into a wheelchair, but I refused this possibility right away. When he saw that I’ll survive probably without the wheelchair too he smiled at my knights and exhorted that they’ll take care of me. They were nodding eagerly then they embraced me from both sides and my feet were barely touching the floor as they were taking me to the car.

“I’m not this weak!” I pouted so they let me stand up, but they were still holding me. It wasn’t a good idea cuz after a few steps my ungrateful knees went weak, but they caught my fall “Okay maybe I am” I sighed – which was another foolish thing from me, cuz I’ve started coughing. It wasn’t that scary as yesterday, but it was still quite bad. They had to stop with me. “Sorry guys” I faltered out.

“No problem, Mia. The main point is that you recover quickly” Dave looked at me and I nearly swallowed in the wrong way from the tenderness in his eyes. Of course it would have been another stupid reaction, which’d have caused more coughing. I nodded then looked at Mart. His gaze wasn’t that open, but I discovered the sparkles of anxiety in it. I didn’t say a word just let them help me onto the car’s backseat then they sat next to me from both sides.

“Where’re we going now?” I asked quietly and on a very hoarse tone as I let them put a blanket around me.

“Copenhagen” said Martin.

“I show you the little mermaid” Dave promised.

“Are you really sure that you want to bring me near to the coast – I mean near to water – after this? Cuz now our relationship with nature isn’t that good because of my illness” I whispered “Although it was my fault…”

“It’d be so great if no one wanted blaming anyone!” Dave snorted “It was enough hearing Martin’s whining that it was his fault!”

“Dave!” Mart growled while he slid one of his hands under my blanket to take my cool hand.

“Why? Haven’t you said that?”

“Dave, you’re so childish all of a sudden.”

“Why?” he turned to him questioningly.

“Boys…” I whispered but they didn’t hear me.

“Cuz you’re sneaking on like a child. You really want Mia think that I’m an idiot?”

“Boys…”

“I don’t want that I just tell her what you were telling me during the past three days.”

“But I…”

“Boys!!” I strained my voice and of course another two-minute-long coughing came.

“Just look at Mia what you’d done to her…” Martin grumbled stroking my back.

“Would you stop this please?” I asked hoarsely when I finally could take a breath “Can you shut up for a few moments? I just want… to be with you… My head… still hurts from the medicines” I leant against the seat again, nestling myself between their shoulders.

“Okay, okay. We won’t fight anymore. It’s just that Dave… he wants to weasel on you. You know Mia, he’s all over you.”

“Martin Gore, how you dare…”

“I just return the favour you gave me…”

“Alright then this is vice versa” I answered to Martin.

“You mean that I want to weasel on you or that you want to do the same on us?”

“Fifty-fifty” I bent my head back “I’m all over you both, I know you know this well.”

“We want more Mia! Let’s hear what you’re thinking about our relationship, about our trio! I know that you couldn’t take it anymore and this is why you were crawling in the rain. You’re like me – if you can’t help then you hurt yourself” David smiled sadly.

“Tell me Davie, this is why you want our kitty for yourself?”

“I don’t want…”

“Pea and peel effect or what?” Martin interrupted him.

“Boys, don’t start it again!” I whispered hoarsely “None of you can have a cat for his own completely – don’t you think? Cats are lonely souls even if they have company. They have their own thoughts and they usually don’t tell them to anyone. Dave, please, can I have some more water?” I looked at him.

“Sure” he reached for the mineral water. Mart wanted to say something, but I interwove our fingers and squeezed them to calm him down “Thank you” I took the water with my free hand and drank carefully. I was watching the water move in the bottle deep in my thoughts.

“Although… basically I’m not a… ‘suffering-type’. Are you curious what I think about us?”

“Yes” Martin squeezed my hand under the blanket and Dave nodded too, caressing my shoulder.

“I know just one thing: I love you two. First this was just pure admiration which I felt for my heroes and lust to make love to you. But now a lot of things are behind these. If it’s possible to love two men at the same time then I managed to do so. Here you are, it’s not like me showing all of my cards, but I love you and I want peace and if I can then I want to help, cuz… cuz… it’s not easy what you have and… cuz… you’re such sensitive… such great people. And now I want you to lay your cards onto the table too. Come on! Martin, please start it!”

Martin hesitated a bit. It was harder for him to open up, but I was patient and I squeezed his hand reassuringly again.

“Well… I think I’m this stupid, because I love you both too much and this confuses me” he forced out the words.  
“Hey! That’s all?” Dave snorted smiling.

“What do you want to hear besides that I love you two?” Martin grunted.

“Well you could give us more details” Dave grinned.

“So I should tell you that…” he stopped suddenly.

“What?” Dave narrowed his eyes.

“What?” I echoed his question as I looked at Curly.

“That… that at first I didn’t think that this’ll be more? That I wasn’t thrilled when Dave came to me to ask whether it was okay for me to have you as our lovers?” his voice failed at the end.

“Why?” I asked with a pale face.

“Cuz… cuz… okay, because first I thought that… you were just a nice lay. I didn’t want to involve emotions into this. It was enough for me to suffer from my family and Dave.”

“And now?” I felt doubtful.

“And now I love you, you crazy cat” he sighed with a small smile “You purred yourself right into my heart. Are you satisfied Dave?”

“How wouldn’t I? The big Martin Lee Gore tells us that he loves us! It’s a rare occasion and Martin” Dave leant towards him “I’ve sealed it into my heart to remember it. Maybe someday I’ll need it.”

Martin was counting the crinkles on his trousers, confused. Then he looked up “So, thick-head show us what you’ve got!”

“Ha-ha, it’s much easier for me.”

“Why?”

“Well although separately but I’ve already told you how much I love you two.”

“That’s not true” we said with Martin at the same time and I had to laugh on Dave’s confused face cuz he took it seriously – again.

“Hey, if the hippies would have had this much love like we have here on this backseat the cold war would have ended more sooner” I noted.

“That’s true!” Dave laughed caressing my shoulder and leant closer “But you two really are important to me” he added and he wanted to kiss me, but I put my fingers onto his lips.

“What’s the matter?” he looked at me questioningly.

“It wouldn’t be lucky to infect you and have sore throat” I sighed tired and I had to choke down a cough, just my body was shaking from it.

“Oh, don’t say that I can’t kiss you!”

“She just said that” Mart noted “And she’s right. It doesn’t matter how hard you want it my panther to have both of us in your bed tonight, it won’t happen. Just I’ll be there for you tonight.”

I looked up as I’ve heard the desperate demand in his voice. This voice asked David to be just his this night. With his sensitive ears his friend and lover heard this tone too and he reached for Mart’s neck behind me, caressing its skin with his palm. And now as a cat I could hide behind Martin, cuz he was nuzzling to his hand better than me.

“Alright, we put Mia into bed, whom we have to spare” and he licked along my earlobe “then I promise I’m all yours till the morning comes.”

“Was this really necessary to discuss it in front of me?” I moaned quietly.

“Why? You’ve said that it’s not allowed…” Dave breathed into my ear.

“It isn’t! Sadly. But after this how could I sleep knowing that you two… Oh my god!”

“Did we turn you on, dear Mia?” Mart asked and let my hand go under the blanket just to slide his hand onto my inner thigh.

“Oh noooooooooooo, not at all!” I answered and tried to calm my breathing.

“Have the doctor said that we can’t be with her?” Dave asked.

“You silly, he would have had a heart attack, if he knew it” Martin laughed.

“And if she didn’t have to strain herself, just lying on the bed while we’re pampering her gently but assertively?”

“Well let’s see, I don’t think that’d be a problem.”

“Mia, can we make love to you?”

“Don’t do this Dave! Even just your voice turns me on extremely!”

“Was this a yes?”

“What do you think?” I said with my new sexy hoarse voice, which made him laugh then he bent to my ear again.

“We want to hear it” he whispered then suddenly sucked my earlobe into his mouth.

“Yes…” I sighed as Martin’s hand slid upwards on my thigh “Or at least… I think so.”

“You think so?” Mart looked at me.

“Well… if I choke meanwhile, it’ll be your fault! Cuz I don’t think it’s possible for me not to pant from your pampering and that’d cause another hard coughing-session and in my state I’ll have to choke from that…” I finished with a dry mouth.

“What? Did I understand correctly? You want to talk us out of fucking you hard?” Dave snorted then kissed into my neck.

I’ll die, I’ll die, there’s no doubt about it, I thought then I’ve said this out loud too: “I’ll die and you’ll be the cause of my death” I moaned. Dave leant to my neck and he ran his thumb’s nail along my neck – starting by my collarbones and ending by my ear. Then he bit gently into my neck just above my collarbone. He started licking my skin with slow licks.

I pressed my lips together even harder not to indicate another coughing by my pants, but it was hard to resist – especially when Martin’s fingers found the way under my sweatpants, which they’d brought to me to the hospital and which wasn’t an obstructive piece of clothes. I bit down on my lower lip as I bent my head back when his fingers disappeared under my panties. I’ve missed these touches badly! Although I was lying in hospital ‘just’ for three days.

“Mart, Dave, no, not here! Wait until we get into my room. If you are good boys, I’ll even put on some nice lingerie, which you can chew off of me.”

“UHHH, me thinks it’d be worthy for us to wait a bit more” said Mart.

“Me and waiting? Do you know me as a person who can wait?”

“Dave, please… I don’t know what’ll kill me. If you stop or if you go on. Please wait until we reach the hotel. Until then I’ll put myself together – means: I sleep a little on the plane” I said and I felt tired. A little resigned sigh escaped my mouth when Mart pulled his hand out of my panties and the car finally stopped. We arrived at the airport.

“Did you do it on a plane, Mia?” Dave asked curiously.

“No, not yet. This extreme place is still missing from my list” I sent him a faint smile as I put my head back onto Martin’s shoulder.

“And do you want it?” Mart asked in an evil way “No one else will be there, we lay you down on the seats and go!”

“Martin, really!”

“Answer with yes or no or at least sigh if you want it” Dave breathed into my neck and grabbed both of my breasts through my bra. I sighed an enormous one.

“Hurray Dave, Mia wants it” Martin grinned.

“Mean bastards! You draw profit from your influence and skills!” I whispered.

“Of course if we have those, why wouldn’t we?” Dave licked the corner of his mouth and squeezed my breasts a few more times then he opened the door and the cool air made me shiver. I pulled the blanket closer around me, which didn’t seem such a bad idea now. Both of them helped me out of the car then they supported me to the plain and waited for me patiently to stumble up on the steps.

“I must look fucking hot now that I’m ill and I’m wrapped into a blanket” I glanced at them over my shoulder when we finally got into the plane and they closed the door behind us.

“You’d be sexy even in a potato-bag” Martin purred and helped me up on the stairs then made me sit at the end of the plane.

“Rest a bit, you seem tired” David laid me down on the seats then they sat on both of my sides, fastened my seatbelts and we got off the ground. They were just sitting there tongue-tied. The promised fun was nowhere and I’ve started missing it.

“Hey boys! Are you impotent for all of a sudden? Or this potato-bag isn’t that sexy?” I asked looking up at them.

They pretended that they were sleeping – Martin imitated something like snoring too. Dave’s eyes were closed as he was sitting on the seat leaning back, but laughter was shaking his whole body. He looked at me and said “We just wanted to see how much you want it!”

Martin laughed too.

“You’re insane!” I grunted at them and tried to sit up, but Dave pushed me back by my shoulders.

“Hey, hey. Where do you think you’re going?”

“For some liquid, cuz my mouth turns dry all the time. And you don’t want to…”

“I bring something right away!” Martin stood up “When we arrive at the hotel, you’ll get nice hot tea too. Until then here’s some mineral water” he offered me a bottle.

I smiled evilly and despite my state I tried to drink that damned water as sexy as it was possible. Although usually I didn’t suck the neck of the bottle like a little calf, now I used this method. I don’t have to mention that the boys had lots of fun with it. I was still playing with the bottle when I saw from the corner of my eyes that both of them slid closer. When I could feel his breaths on my neck, I took the bottle from my mouth and put it down onto the floor.

“Hmm… this was good…” I murmured in my hoarse tone.

“And is this good?”

“And this?”

“And if I do this, is it good?”

“And if I put my hand, do you like it?”

“Yeeeeeeeessss…” I reacted onto their dirty hands’ actions with closed eyes after they pulled the blanket half-way down.

I was just lying there and let them mesmerize me. After two minutes Dave was sitting on his heels, right in front of me and he was examining the knot on my sweatpants’ string, lost in thoughts about the Maya knotting’s mysteries. He solved the meaning of the knot, but obviously it was something bad, cuz he started cursing.

“What’s it this time?” I sighed quietly.

“Your knot is too insistent.”

“It isn’t!” I held my breath back a bit so I was able to push the sweatpants off of my waist “Here you are. I won’t give you more help.”

Mart helped unpacking me from above – without clothes I finally hadn’t felt myself like a bag of potatoes. If I was without clothes that’d meant two things: I was under the shower, or… no… I was with these two guys, who usually didn’t like any clothes on me at all.

“And what’s now, my dear lovers?” I whispered hoarsely.

“Just some fun, of course. As I know, ill people need pampering…” Dave’s fingers slid up on my inner thighs while he gave a kiss onto my shoulder.

“David…” I whispered faintly as I felt his fingers slide inside me “Dave…”

“Yes, Mia?” he asked in an unabashed tone “How do you want us to take care of you?” he pushed his fingers deeper into me when Martin opened my legs wider and hearing Dave’s question he giggled then quickly licked my hard nipple.

“If you’d already asked… Marty, please lick it again! More! More! Bite me you… you beast!”

“Uh, which medicine can have this side-effect?” Martin giggled again, but he did what he was asked for.

The most annoying thing was that I wasn’t allowed to kiss them, cuz I was afraid I’d infect them. Both of them needed their voices and of course their physical strength too on the concerts. I had no idea how they could want an ill woman, but it was their business – I didn’t protest. It felt so good what they were doing to me. No doubts here. And the other troublesome factor was that I couldn’t moan out loud, if I didn’t want to choke from coughing. I’ll really have to cum without a noise? From them?? Impossible, I thought and dug into Mart’s hair as he started sucking my right breast harder. Dave was biting my shoulder gently, one of his hands grabbing my thigh and the other was sliding in and out of my body skillfully. Then at the end I moaned when Mr. Impatient Dave Gahan – without asking his friend whether he wanted to be the first this time – pulled his fingers out and rammed into me. The coughing wasn’t that bad at all, although I’m sure I looked funny with that mask on my face while I was moaning his name.

“Sex in the epidemic-hospital” I laughed.

“Watch your breathing kitty, don’t speak” Mart whispered as his fingers were wandering in my slightly wet hair and his left hand slid between my legs – right onto my clit. From this I scratched along Dave’s left arm and closing my eyes I strained my hips. I felt the veins sticking out on my neck from the suppressed yells.  
“I’ve missed you so, Mia!!” Dave moaned into my ear while he was playing with his hips inside me. He could do fantastic moves!

As an answer I squeezed his hips with my thighs and dug my nails into his arm, which made him cry out loud. Martin was moving his fingers on my clit unstoppable and was grabbing and biting my breasts – but he got impatient so I sank my hand into his trousers. It was unlike Martin that now he was literally stamping from impatience. Because I couldn’t use my mouth – maybe I really would have choke from his cock, he couldn’t wait anymore and he put his hand onto Dave’s shoulder. After the third useless patting he tried to take his place to have his part in the game too.

I had to giggle from his impatience, which was shown in a few little coughs. Dave didn’t seem too cooperative, Mart had to use another weapon. He slid one hand onto Dave’s ass as he propped himself on the seat next to us and he started biting his earlobe to turn his attention towards him. After a few moments Mart met a cloudy green gaze.

“What do you want Marty?”

“I want to have some of our kitty’s fine parts too, of course” he put a peck onto Dave’s face, who was still moving inside me.

“Do you want my place?” he moaned plaintively.

“No, you can stay, just change the pose.”

“How?”

“Pull out of her!”

Dave obeyed and watched as Mart pulled me up easily then made me sat onto his lap. He took me by my shoulders and pulled my back onto his chest so I could sit comfortably. I’ve heard as he spit into his palm again and he wet himself and me too. I nearly jumped from this although I knew exactly what was coming.

“Hmmm… relax kitty, like last time… you know…” he whispered into my ear, which made me sigh and obey.

He started penetrating me from the back slowly and waved with his eyes for Dave to continue what he’d started.


	25. Chapter 25

25.

 

And Dave went on – he found his way back into me. He barely could hold back and seeing Mart’s and my face as we were racing towards pleasure, he buried his satisfied face between my breasts as he was panting heavily. Even my prancing couldn’t turn Martin on that much as seeing Dave riding out his pure pleasure. Dave pushed into me a few more times then he put his shaking fingers onto my clit, waiting me to follow him, but after a few rubs I managed to let the armrest and his shoulder go and grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“No… first Mart…” I moaned hoarsely “First he too…” I let my head fall back onto Martin’s shoulder and I moved my hips to a pose, which allowed Mart to penetrate deeper into me. I bit my lips until I draw blood as I was trying hard not to moan. All of my veins on my neck were sticking out. Well I didn’t have to wait for Mart’s climax for too long and Dave hadn’t taken my advise – although I stopped his hand, I couldn’t do the same with his tongue.

“Oh my god…” I hissed nearly in agony after I looked down at Dave and let my head fall back onto Martin’s shoulder, who was still moving inside of me hard, near to his own release too, moaning loudly into my ear. Dave was licking my clit passionately, but I held back willingly – first I wanted to let Martin have his orgasm and he was right there. After a few deep thrusts he released loudly into me, forcing out a suppressed hiss from between my lips. My throat was dry, but I didn’t care. I grabbed Dave’s hair wildly and led him deep down to help a bit. And he was doing his job tirelessly – he even breathed just when he really had to. Finally my body, which was pressed against Mart’s, gave in and I screamed out loud, panting hardly as the pleasure came, and it didn’t matter that after it I coughed badly. Who cares about some acute pneumonia when Martin Gore was proving me his burning love from the back and Dave Gahan from the front?

Martin slid out of me and they let me cough and pant while I still felt the orgasm’s waves in my body. Martin pulled me onto his lap and embraced me while Dave put the blanket around us then started dressing up. I felt Martin’s safe and warm embrace and my shivering body started easing off after all these pleasures.

“You’re the best method for a cold, nine fans of ten recommend you two” I told them between two quiet rattle. It was strange as I inhaled – the air was rasping as it went in and out of my lungs, just like opening and closing a rusty door. Dave laughed, buttoning his trousers but Martin was touching my face with worry in his eyes.

“Your forehead is burning again…”

“From you!” I smiled and I felt a bit dizzy “It’s so nice and warm in your lap Marty. Hug me more! Let me… feel myself in safety!” I added on a hoarse tone and with hissing lungs.

“Alright dear Mia, but now you drink from your water and take your pills.”

“No, I don’t need any pills! Why should I take them? You’re enough for me!” I protested sleepily, feeling still dizzy.

Mart looked at me worried “You don’t want to go right into the hospital when we arrive to Copenhagen, do you? You’d rather sleep between us on a king-sized bed, right?”

“That’d be nice, Marty!”

“Then be a good girl and take these” he shook the pills into my hand.

“Dave, is here anywhere some ice tea?”

“Sure, kitty, sure, just drink it” he gave me a full glass.

Those distasteful pills were hard to swallow, cuz my throat was dry and I wanted to cough, but at the end they went down and I felt myself even more tired from them.

“I think… I’ll… fall asleep” I whispered quietly.

“That’s good, kitty” Martin kissed my forehead then let me put my head onto his chest, while he embraced me tighter to him, covering every part of my body with the blanket. “Just rest. We’ll be here.”

I smiled half asleep and grabbed one of his arms under the blanket “Sounds great.”

\---

It was cold in Copenhagen but at least the sun was shining. The boys took me into the hotel right away and put me into bed in Marty’s room. Dave came in and said to us in a low tone that now we won’t see him for two days.

“Your family is coming, right?”

“Uh-uh, they’ve just called. I go now, I have to switch from lover mode to husband and dad mode.”

“Hey, take care!” I whispered hoarsely with a small smile on my face.

“I should say that to you” he squeezed my hand then walked out of the room. Martin followed his disappearing figure deep in thoughts.

“What’s the matter?” I whispered lying in his bed.

“Well it won’t be easy for him playing the angel” he murmured.

I sighed which made me cough again, but I managed to stop it.

“Okay then, now I’ll make you drink this whole jug of hot tea and you’ll take your pills then we’ll have a nice and long sleep.”

“Can’t we…?” I asked, putting my hand on his knee, but he interrupted me and stopped my hand.

“No, we can’t. Until you’re healthy there’s no sex – we’d agreed on this with Dave.”

“What?!” I sat up surprised.

“It’s simple – there’ll be the concert the day after tomorrow, it was postponed because of some fire and it’ll be held in another arena, so you’ll have one extra day to get well. And then you’ll sing for us. But we won’t ruin everything with some fun. There’ll be romance tonight – I’ve ordered dinner with candlelight here and we’ll talk like lovers do.”

“Wow Martin, this is great! You can do such things too?”

“Sure. I’m a romantic guy deep inside – you know the hard outside hides a sensitive soul here.”

“I know, you write the most beautiful love songs in the world.”

“Thank you kitty, this felt good.”

“Anytime Martin, you know that I love you.”

“Really? You love me as much as you love David?”

“Of course” I nuzzled to him and started caressing him “You thought I don’t?”

“Well… he’s the charming one, and I just detract from my reputation with making you drunk and being jealous about you two with no reason.”

“Is this still bothering you?”

“It was close… and because of me…”

“No. Everybody is responsible for their own actions. It was my decision. You’re worried about Dave, right? You watched him walking out as if…”

“As if?”

“As if you was afraid that… he won’t ever come back. That Jen’ll take him away and he’ll not return. But don’t worry, he loves you too – he even said it today in the car.”

“It’s just that… how should I say it…. He shows it rarely. He always hides behind his sleaziness – or at least quite often.”

“And you bolt yourself in and you prove yourself to be a cold iceberg.”

“Really? Is it this obvious?”

“Yes. When you’d ordered me those drinks, you’d been cold to me too. You’d scared me” my hand stopped on his chest, which I was stroking until that moment.

“Oh, please don’t be mad at me. Sometimes I’m incredibly stupid and I’m grateful that despite all of this you’ve never said that I should stop drinking. Believe me, I’d do it, but it’s not just because of the physical addiction but of the spiritual one too.”

“You can’t handle your painful and worried emotions and you rather drink to ease them, right?”

“Something like that. Not everyone is as strong as that… Jeez, why isn’t he here?”

“Relax, Mart, he’ll come back. He’ll be just with his family for a couple of days. Am I not enough for you until then?” I pouted.

“You are of course” he caressed my face “I’ll cure you meanwhile and you’ll be better than your old self.”

I smiled and looked into his eyes for a moment then I put my head back onto his chest and I went on with drawing little circles with my fingers there.

“Martin…”

“Yes?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t, but… can I ask you… why you’ve got divorced?” I whispered.

“Or rather Suzanne. I was stupid and she couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I see. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked” I whispered resting my hand on his tummy.

“No problem. Women don’t like it when they must do everything around their family – including their husband, who’s drinking hard and can’t handle himself. Whom maybe they still love, but can’t live with. She had no more tears to shed. I can understand her.”

“Martin, love, don’t be this bitter! You’re such a good guy and a great person with some mistakes. I love you.”

“Because you’d never lived with me. I managed to introduce myself a few days ago, didn’t I?”

“Marty even if you scare me, I still love you, I want you to know this” I hugged him harder then swallowed some coughing.

“It’s good to know this. You know Dave can react more quickly, I’m slower. I’m always fighting with myself, with my feelings and does.”

“You wear guilt, like shackles on your feet…”

“Yeah, something like that. Those lyrics aren’t casual.”

“My dearest Martin, do you know that I respect you like a real genie?”

“Couldn’t you respect me as the best lover?”

“Sure I could! Just show me your portfolio!”

“No, no, my dear. You know that until you’re healthy again, we can’t. And by the way I think I’d put enough onto the table, don’t you think?” he caressed my back smiling.

“Well…”

“What?”

“You want to do it on the table? You know, I just can’t get enough. Now there’s just you and me and I love you. I’ll just lie on my back, while you make me yours softly. This time not in a hard way, but in a gentle one.”

“Mia, jeez, come into my arms!”

“This means a yes? Tell me Marty! Tell me it’s a yes! I want you, I love you! Do you need more than this? Please, Marty…” I whispered impatiently as I lay down onto his chest, leaving the sheet “Martyyy…. Pleaseeee….”

“Who am I to resist you?” he moaned a big one as I pressed my body against his and I kissed into his neck “Mia, Mia, you’re just mine now. You taste sweet, do you know?” he licked along my chest. I felt that he loves me and he wants me, but there was real love in his eyes. Those wonderful green eyes! And they say I’m a cat…

I turned my head away when he wanted to kiss me, but not because I didn’t want our lips to touch, but because I didn’t want him see ill too. It was still in question whether they’ll get off the infection or not. But I let him roll me over to my back just to undress me.

“Love me Martin. Love me like you’d never done to me yet! Love me from your soul if you can… Please…” I caressed his face and looked into his eyes.

“I can, honey, I can love you like that. Let yourself go, feel and let me be your leader on your journey.”

I nodded and tried to relax as much as I was able to. I felt his hot breath on the line of my neck, higher behind my ear then in it. One of his hands was resting on my breast – just lingering there – and his other hand was caressing the back of my knee. My eyes closed from his gentle touches. I felt his hand moving up from my breast through my neck to my face, taking and pulling it closer to him. Martin kissed me with such passion as… My thoughts got confused. I tried not to think just enjoy Martin’s love.

He discovered my body – which was a bit hotter from the illness than usually – in a soft way. I sank into my senses. How could this happen? Was this really happening to me? I love them. But not as a fan. I just can’t get enough of them. The situation was both unbelievable and beautiful, calming and unsettling. I felt Mart’s gentle touches, passionate kiss, which’s meaning I couldn’t get yet. It was an overwhelming experience. I felt that I wanted more – much more – from Martin. There was nothing else in the world now. Just Martin, his spirit in me, with me, for me. Then his body moved into mine.

 

He really loved me tenderly – kissing me where he could. His moves were soft and mindful. He was watching every reaction of mine, and looking nearly all way long into my eyes he opened the green gates so the depths of his eyes could completely suck me in. His gaze was nearly hypnotizing me, and I let him be the Master and I was his young follower. How different he was now that there was just the two of us… He was much more confident and relaxed and passionate. He wasn’t just doing his job, but whispered beautiful things into my ear. Fragments of poems about the wonder of physical and spiritual union. His loving care really moved me. I let myself completely go. I was relaxed and free. The point wasn’t satisfaction – as so much times before – but spirituality. I was caressing him softly while I welcomed his moves. I smiled when I realized that now I could get to know another Martin L. Gore. How many of them could be there inside this man?

I totally forgot Dave as I sank deeper into Martin’s pampering and I whispered back all kinds of things, which came into my mind. He didn’t care that he wasn’t supposed to kiss me – his tongue was playing with mine for long minutes, while we were moving in complete harmony. Although we were far from wild sex we had been playing until now, I felt that I was ready to get lost in the pleasure’s raging wonder. He looked at me smiling – he saw where I was and whispered into my ear not to hold back. I closed my eyes and I let myself to the heavenly journey and on its end the white light was already waiting for me. The loudest sound during our lovemaking was the one which escaped my mouth when my body tensed for a moment and thanks to Martin I could experience consummation in a different way. This orgasm was different that the others – this hadn’t exploded suddenly in my body, but started lifting me higher and higher by degrees as I was clinging to my blonde prince’s shoulders desperately.  
I knew that he was smiling. I felt his being – I became one with him – and from his hips’ gentle but steady moves he brought me at the brink of fainting.

I was still far away when after a harder push I’ve heard his hoarse moan too. Then we were just lying there in each others arms. My tears started falling – my heart was aching for Martin. I saw his now peaceful and satisfied face as it was distorted when his bodyguard was carrying him into his room.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered, softly caressing my face when he felt the tears on his face, which he was pressing against my ear. He looked up at me worried, stroking my cheek, trying to wipe away my tears. “Tell me I haven’t offended you or hurt you or something like that, have I?”

The anxiety in his voice and eyes just moved me even more, causing more tears. I choked down another cough and from this he carefully slid out of me and lay down close to me so that his weight wasn’t pressing my chest.

“No… not at all. When would you’ve been able to do harm? You were so gentle, Marty…” I whispered on a still hoarse voice “It’s just that… it’s so…” I couldn’t find the words so I ended it lamely “…good to be with you!” and I hugged him firmly, burying my face into his shoulder.

“Alright Mia, alright” he whispered caressing my back then he gently forced me to look into his eyes. He didn’t say a word, he was just kissing me softly, but now after a minute it came into my mind that this wasn’t a lucky thing to do.

“Martin, no… I infect you!” I pulled away.

“Mia, it doesn’t matter anymore. I was kissing you for an hour…”

“You were kissing me for an hour, oh yes. I can’t get enough. I love you Martin… and…”

“And?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t, but… I’m worried about you.”

His eyes sparkled a little sadly as he gave me a lopsided smile. “Maybe you really shouldn’t…” he caressed my face again then turned onto his side, propping his head in his palm.

“Mart…”

“It’s still because of the booze, isn’t it?”

It was as if I felt some irritation in his voice. “Martin, I don’t…”

He sighed and closed his eyes as he held up one hand, showing me that he’d like it better for me not to speak.

“Please, don’t ruin the moment. Everything was so beautiful until now” he rolled onto his back, looking at the ceiling stiffly.

I cleared my throat “Martin, please don’t close yourself up! Don’t push me away…”

“I don’t push you away.”

“You are… But it doesn’t matter. The point is that I don’t want to change you, I’m just worried about you. You have to see the problem from your own.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have said the last sentence, cuz I saw that his muscles stained and he cranked his eyebrows angrily. I had some reason to fear! He suddenly turned to me and I couldn’t help, but Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde came into my mind. There was anger and desperation burning in his eyes. He jumped up and quickly started dressing up. At this time I was crying loud, begging him not to go. Finally I grabbed his arm, but shaking it he broke free and I landed on the floor. I hugged his foot he wanted to lift to take a step.

He looked at me shocked. He was standing there frozen to the spot for a minute then he knelt beside me, hugging me hard and asked in a shaky tone: “You, you love me really this much? Am I really important to you? That much that throwing your pride away you humble yourself for me?”

“I do Mart, I do” I cried loudly.

“Oh god…” he took my teary face between his hands “Oh god, oh god…” he repeated while I sniffled and covered my mouth with my hand, so I could bend my head a bit down and started coughing badly. “How can I be this stupid?” he asked himself and embraced me again as he was kneeling there, pulling my head onto his chest “You really love me! You really love me this much!” As an answer I just grabbed his T-shirt hard, digging my fingers into his skin by his shoulder and back. “Until now… until now I thought that… that truly you love just Dave… cuz he… well yes, he’s Dave Gahan. And that I… I was just like a bonus prize… despite you’ve told me that you love me. I haven’t known that this much… this way…” he confessed me stopping again and again, but there was only one question in my head:

“Martin, tell me… you won’t go! You won’t let me here alone, will you?” I tightened my hug even more.

He didn’t answer. I felt his body shaking without a voice. He was crying. I didn’t find this a sign of weakness. It moved me so deeply that my tears appeared again. I knew that he won’t go. I wouldn’t be able to let him go. The situation was absurd, but this love was just like anyone else’s love in the world. After a while I carefully looked up at him. He was holding his nose-bridge between his index and middle finger and from his closed eyes tears were running down on his cheeks.

“Come” I whispered quietly and hoarsely then we climbed back onto the bed and I put the blanket over us. I was lying right next to him and he bent his head onto my chest. His body was still shaking. I was caressing his shoulder softly until I’d realised that Martin was breathing quietly and peacefully on my chest. He fell asleep. I was thinking about this whole thing. It was really unbelievable what was going on here. But… I was too tired to think. Soon I’ve joined the sleeping Curly.


	26. Chapter 26

26.

 

We were sleeping in this pose for a few hours. I had no nice dreams and I was sweating too. I felt it when I suddenly woke up, cuz it was as if I was suffocating. It was useless trying to suppress my coughs, my aching lungs wanted me to cough and this made Martin wake up, who looked up from my chest sleepily.

“What?” he looked at me as I turned onto my side and finally sat up to reach for a glass of water.

“I forgot… to… take my… pills…” I groaned out in between hard coughs. He put a glass of water quickly into my hand and searched for my pills too. Finally I was able to force them down on my aching throat. “Thanks…”

“Don’t speak. Try to relax” he leant against the headboard and a pillow and pulled me to him, touching my forehead “You don’t seem to have a fever. But don’t do this again. Take your pills and get well soon. We love healthy kittens better” he murmured.

By then my coughing wasn’t that bad and I was listening to his heart beats with half-closed eyes. “I’ll try” I said then Martin pulled the cover up to my chin, I fell asleep after a few moments.

\---

We didn’t get out of bed next morning. We agreed that we’ll spend this day in our pajamas – which wasn’t really true, cuz Martin was wearing just a white T-shirt and a boxer short. We ordered breakfast from the room service and for my request they’d brought me a newspaper too. Martin was switching channels with the remote and was yawning with his fuzzy hair.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I love you” I answered.

“Aha, adequate answer for and adequate question.”

“I’ve slept well cuz you’d stayed with me and because you were wonderful and because I love you. I just said it shorter.”

“Come here” he pulled me to him “You know it touched me really much what you’d done yesterday.”

“Huh, it seemed natural for me to throw myself to your feet” I tried to make a joke from it, but seeing his serious gaze my smile faded “Really… I was scared that you’ll let me here alone, leaving with anger. I don’t want you to be mad at me, Marty. I’d feel terrible and I’d rather hide somewhere, breaking the contract and stand the management’s charge.”

“Uh-oh, then I has to be careful…” he smiled faintly then caressed my shoulder “No, I wouldn’t be able to be mad at you for long, this is for sure. Tell me who could resist such a sweet little kitten?”

“Sweet and peaky kitten…” I added rolling my eyes “I hate being ill. I want to recover! Martin, heal me!”

“I have a great method to cure my aching throat, but I’m sure you don’t want to try it.”

“What’d that be?”

“You won’t jump into my neck when I tell you.”

“Uh-uh, I think I know it.”

“So I go now and bring you some, OK? I’ll make it for you.”

He walked out of the room and returned after 20 minutes with a hot and fucking strong grog.

“It’s three times stronger than a normal grog!”

“Jeez, Mart, I’ll knock out myself with it!”

“A bit, yes. But it’ll help, you’ll see. After you drank it, I’ll take you into my arms and I’ll listen to your tipsy babbling and taking advantage of the situation I’ll make you mine… Well, what do you say?”

“Sounds great. But will I have a hung over?”

“No, when it’ll really starts working, you’ll fall asleep and you’ll wake up just after long hours, feeling rested and with a clear throat.”

“Well, okay then, cheers!” I lifted the quite big cup and drank its contents with quick gulps. I grimaced and let Martin take the empty cup from my hand. “Its taste is still awful” I noted and cuddled to his chest again “Martin, I’m sinking and lifting in the same time” I hiccupped frightened.

“Uh-uh, it starts to work then.”

“Marty… did you drink… a lot of this?” I giggled suddenly as the world seemed to whirl and I was clinging to his fragrant T-shirt harder. I even dug my nose into it and started sniffing his scent “Martin, you smell so great and you’re slant.”

“What? Is the world spinning? Kitty, aren’t you sleepy?”

“No-ho. But I’m hungry Marty and I’m hungry for your love. I want you so much and I feel lightheaded” I hiccupped again.

“I think you’re drunken, kitty” he laughed.

“That’s possible, you see!” I giggled “Maaaaartyyyy!”

“Yep?”

“You laugh so beautifully! Laugh for me mooore!” I asked grinning while one of my hands was touching his warm tummy under his T-shirt “Did you know… that the world is turning?” He laughed again from this sudden turn. “No, I mean it! And I can see it too! It’s moving so… slowly. And the room too. Understand? And do you know why I can see it?”

“Cuz your drunk?” he grinned and it was obvious that he barely could hold his laughter back.

“Nooooo! It’s because it turned up side down… since I’m with you… two!” I hiccupped again.

“Uhmm… this is a contradiction, isn’t it?”

“Wha’?”

“The world is turning but we turned it up side down too…”

“Huh, yeah… well… It’s because… because it does both! It turns and is up side down too. I’m just wondering why we aren’t walking on the ceiling then…” I mused and he giggled again.

“Jeez, Mia! You’re so sweet!” he hugged me closer.

“Then maybe…”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe you should taste me!” I stroked him under the T-shirt again and my hand got dangerously close to the edge of his boxer shorts.

“Oh, no problem. I’ll taste you. Cuz you know how much I love sweets. Let me taste you. Yummy” he licked along my throat “You’re so sweet!”

“Yes, yes, go on, dear Marty!” I giggled then reached under his underwear, which made him moan into my neck “Take advantage… of my drunken state of mind, Marty! You won’t see me often like this…” I giggled completely relaxed while my hand was pumping him with the well-known moves. I don’t know whether it was my “med’s” effect or not, but I could feel him hardening until he was rock-hard under my palm. Dunno whether it was just a sensual delusion, or not, but I didn’t really care, cuz pushing my T-shirt up he started biting and licking my breasts. I had to purr from this lovely feeling.

“Come on Mia, be a cat! Be my cat again!” Martin moaned and I flashed a cheeky grin at him after I was able to focus onto his face. In the next moment his shorts were on the floor, I got rid off my panties and I was already on his lap while I pulled my T-shirt over my head. I threw my head back and licked my mouth in the moment I could feel His Majesty in me again. When I looked down at him again, he wasn’t wearing his T-shirt anymore. I think I’ve started to move on him with a specific rhythm cuz he moaned out loud grabbing my tits. I scratched along his chest and tummy.

“Just be careful Marty-boy, cuz I’ll tear you apart now!” I said purring between two growls “Have you ever had a kitty for lunch?” I hissed into his ear, making wild circles with my hips. He looked up at me doomed and stamped into the bed. He had to lie down from sitting, cuz his shaking hands couldn’t prop him anymore.

“God help me!” he moaned as I was playing with my inner muscles on him. I went totally mad. There was just the pure sensuality and I went on fiercely.

“Uhhh! He doesn’t dare to look here now, Marty!! I’ll help you rather, okay?!” I cried out loud and purred, closing my legs so I could squeeze him better.

“OKAY!!!” he yelled, pressing his head desperately into the pillow, grabbing my hips harder “OH MY GOD!!!” he cried out when I straddled him even firmer, tensing my inner muscles as I was propping myself on his tummy, digging my nails into his soft flesh.

“Mia, Mia, I’ll die! You’re killing me right now!”

“That’s possible Mart, but it won’t hurt – it’ll be euthanasia, a gracious death. Crazy consummation beyond the borders of pleasure. If you’re ready for it, Mart…”

“AAARRGGHHHH!”

“I guess you are” I said and grabbing his dick under me I helped him into a better world.

I moved a few more times on him, grinning, although in my dizzy state I couldn’t reach my orgasm. I was panting like mad after he was able to breathe again.

“I can’t believe! What’re you doing to me? Do you want me to get addicted to you?”

“Uh-uh. I want exactly that. I love you Martin and I won’t lose you” I said suddenly serious in a sober moment.

“God, Mia… my dear Mia!” he whispered caressing my face and I immediately cuddled to his hand. Then I fall back into my happy mood and grabbing his wrist I playfully ran his hand on my breast.

“If I’m that precious to you, Marty… You have an obligation here…”

“What obligation?”

“Haven’t you felt it, hon? You didn’t make me come!” I reproved him and sighed when his fingers grabbed my tit “I love climbing mountains but just when I reach the top too” I took his middle and index finger into my mouth.

“Mia… don’t do this to me!” he moaned.

“Why not? Cats like pampering too, especially if they give this much like I gave you a few minutes ago…” I led his fingers down between my legs while I slid his satisfied member out of me.

“Mia, I’m not able to do it again right now…”

“You don’t have to… You don’t even have to prance just use your fingers, pleeease!” I asked then bit down on my lips to stop a moan and a cough, cuz he slowly ran his middle finger on my clit. I shivered.

“You were thinking about something like this?” he licked the corner of his lips too as he started moving his hand faster.

“YES!” I answered and my back arched when his wet fingers slid into me. But he used his other hand too – he slid his fingers onto my clit to rub it in a faster pace.

“Oh yes! MARTIN! More!” I moaned with closed eyes and I propped myself on my hands behind my back, next to his legs to let him work on me easier.

“Ehm… maybe I came in the wrong time?” we heard a familiar voice from the door as its owner walked into the half-lit room.

“You came in the best time, Davie” Mart sighed “I have something to do, I’ll finish that first then I’d like to talk to you a bit.”

“OK, I’ve missed you, do you know? I have to go back, but I had something to do nearby and I couldn’t stop myself checking in to see what you’re doing again.”

“Well Mia is drunk from my meds, I’m curing her…”

“Yeah, I see you’re curing here…” Dave grinned.

I just moaned a big one when Mart’s fingers pushed deeper into me then I screamed when on their way backwards they found my G-spot. My whole body shivered and strained.

“Look what I’ve found...” Martin grinned and started stimulating it with his index finger in an intense way. I lifted my hips unwillingly just to feel better the sudden rush of joy, which shot through my body.

“OH MY GOD!!!!” I screamed “MARTIN!!!!”

“I guess you like it…” he licked his mouth. I couldn’t see Dave, but I guessed he was grinning.

“YESSS!” I screamed with a dry throat.

There was no need for him to work on me for too long – the double stimulating brought the desired effect soon and my climax hit me hard as I was gasping for air with closed eyes, propping myself on my shaking arms. Maybe Mart’s ‘meds’ helped me to feel my orgasm better. I felt Martin’s contented gaze searching my face which was still twisted from the pleasure I felt.

My shaking hands went weak and I fell back onto the sheet with the intense joy still waving in my body. I was panting and moaning between his legs. I felt him withdrawing his fingers and as he slid them out, he stroked my clit once more. When I opened my eyes, on the right I saw Dave kneeling by the bed, putting his chin into his palm. He was watching me and he caressed my forearm while I felt Martin gently stroking my thighs.

“Dave, honey, you were watching us?”

“Sure! I love watching it when you cum!” he said to me then stroked Martin’s shoulder with his free hand “How strange it is that we came together like this. I won’t say that there was no threesome yet, but I can surely say that this is the first time when we fall in love with each other” David said with a serious look.

“Something’s wrong” Martin realised from his friend’s strange tone, while I was smiling like an idiot, nestling into Dave’s arms.

“If I can explain myself then there isn’t.”

“But what’s it? Jen?”

“She accidentally read one of my e-mails.”

“I’ve sent it to you, right?”

“Yep. And it wasn’t a friendly invitation to drink a beer.”

“Jesus! It was that one?”

“Hmm.”

“What’ll you do?”

“Well you could send an e-mail with multiply addressees – containing women’s names too – with a similar content to mine and you could forward it to me too. Then I’ll have something to say to her.”

“I can’t see how this could help you.”

“It’d help Marty, but don’t get mad!”

“Oh, I get it Dave. When someone’s drunken he can’t really control what he’s doing…”

“I have no better idea, do you? This or I must tell it to Jen.”

“Just do this, it doesn’t matter, my renown isn’t good at her, she’ll believe it easily.”

“Alright Martin, I must go now. Don’t be mad, I know that drinking bothers you too. But I love you in the way you are” he kissed his friend, softly touching his lips to Mart’s mouth then he’d left as he’d come – quietly on his panther paws.

I felt even through my strange daze that it was better for me to stay silent, leaving Martin alone a bit. Somehow I pulled myself together and sat up. A few minutes later I realised that he was deep in his thoughts. Thinking hard? Or was that just my imagination? Temporarily I had no idea how serious the things were which Dave’d said. My head and body was still light from the grog and the orgasm. I slowly stood up and stumbled out into the bathroom, which wasn’t that easy in my actual state. It came into my mind that I have to have a shower, but before I could step under it, another bad coughing came, which made my eyes watery and after a while it wasn’t too pretty, but I’ve started heaving and found myself kneeling in front of the toilet. After I puked I felt really relieved and my head was much clearer. And surprisingly coughing wasn’t that painful anymore. Although I was still dizzy somehow I really felt myself better. I even took that shower and brushed my teeth.

I lay down onto the bed again, where Martin was sitting, holding his head in his hands. I didn’t know what to say or do so I was just laying on my side, blanket up to my chin and I pulled my legs up a bit, watching Martin sitting on the other edge of the bed. Even the straining muscles on his back were careworn. I reached out my right hand to touch his back, but before my fingers could reach their goal he said:

“I go now for a while.”

Probably he’ll drink. Or at least my clearing head and my sixth sense told me this from his tone. By the way just his T-shirt was missing from his chest now. I haven’t realised it yet.

“Don’t go…” I whispered hoarsely and very carefully.

But it seemed he’d decided not to answer, or not to hear my demand and he stood up, putting on his grey T-shirt and black jacket.

“Martin!” I called out for him, sitting up on the bed, but he showed me his back “Don’t do this!”

“You can’t stop me!” he grumbled and left me there. Alone.

This last sentence hit me hard and there was no trace of the dizziness in my head, which was caused by the grog. I was holding the blanket to my chest as I was staring at the closed door and I knew that he’ll get drunk again and I didn’t do anything to stop him – again!

After a while I realised that my tears were flowing for long minutes now. I fall back onto the pillows, curling up, swallowing a cough, but I couldn’t stop my tears. I was wondering whether I was overcomplicating things or not… I was confused. Stupid female thinking…


	27. Chapter 27

27.

 

I didn’t know what to do. Calling Dave and telling him what Martin was up to seemed the best idea. But should I risk it? I was really worried about Martin so I’ve decided I’d take the risk. I pushed speed-dial and listened as it rang once then twice then it went on and on – I thought he won’t pick it up, but suddenly I’ve heard a deep female voice.

“Yes?”

I hoped Dave’d pick up his own phone, but it was clear that this was not that situation. Now I should act clever, I thought as my stomach – filled with ice-cold fear – sank.

“Hello, I’m Mia Smith, Mr. Gahan’s personal assistant and if it’s possible I’d like to make an appointment for a meeting with Mr. Anton Corbijn.”

“Sure, sure, I’m his wife. My husband is busy right now, but he’ll call you back.”

“Thank you Mrs. Gahan. Have a nice day!”

I hung up and I was breathing even faster. I hoped that Dave’d know that I didn’t call just because I was bored. I was sitting on the bed with closed legs and the worst scenarios were playing in my head when my phone rang.

“What’s wrong?” I’ve heard the familiar baritone.

“Martin.”

“Again?”

“Again” I answered and with one hand I started searching for some clothes “He hit the roof. From that e-mail thing. He didn’t even speak to me, but I know that he’ll drink again.”

“Jeez, Mia…” he sighed into the phone “Look, now I can’t…”

“It doesn’t matter, I just wanted you to know. You don’t have to come personally, just call Darren or someone who can come with me to search for Martin.”

“You won’t go anywhere! You’ll stay in bed like nice girls do and will concentrate on your recovery!” he whispered a bit edgy “The boys’ll take care of it unobtrusively. By the way you won’t be able to stop him every time when he wants to drink – don’t you think, Mia? We must let him in some degree or he’ll hate everybody and he’ll lock himself up again. You don’t want to know how he acts when he does that!”

“David, how can you say this? The man whom I love is sad and is poisoning his body! Of course I want to stop him! I go after him, no matter what you say!” I said angrily and hung up.

Cursing and coughing under my nose I’ve got dressed – very warmly. I didn’t know what I was hoping for, but I had to do something! I switched off my phone and slid it into my jeans’ back pocket. After I blew my nose I stepped out onto the corridor and found Martin’s bodyguard, who followed me without a question.

\---

But this time Martin did a great job. He disappeared like a grey donkey in the mist. We were in an unfamiliar city and we didn’t know where to look for him. With some help from the hotel, where they gave us the most popular clubs’ addresses, we searched the city with zero results. But of course it was possible that Mart chose the first smoky pub to drink him to death. I was terribly anxious and the long searching wasn’t good for me – running with Darren from the cold air into the hot pubs then out again… He offered me that he’d take me back to the hotel when bad coughs shook my body time after time from the smoky places and the cold, but I said no every time. I didn’t care about my own health I had just Martin on my mind, so I refused Darren’s questions.

We went on with the smaller clubs and pubs after Darren called a few more people to help. After maybe an hour when we stepped out of another place, his cell rang and he said to me that a colleague had found Mart. By then I felt myself really sick and knew that the sweat was running down on my back, but I didn’t care. We quickly went to the given address and after missing a few streets we arrived at the small pub.

For our biggest surprise Martin was sitting there just one glass of wheat beer in front of him and he wasn’t drunk at all, just careworn. I looked at him, he looked at me and then without walking to him I asked Darren to take me back. He would have done it, but I collapsed – although I was still conscious – and they took me to the hospital. And Darren didn’t let Martin come near to me. A song was playing in my head: “The things you do ain't good for my health…”

\---

It was as if I was looking at the world through a strange shield – concerning my vision and hearing. Somehow I was conscious all along, I knew what they were doing to me. I even felt as they stuck in the infusion and I think I had an oxygen mask too. I very slowly turned my head to the side, eyes half-open, and I’ve heard flatly and saw it too through the glass that Darren was still having a debate with Martin, holding up one hand to stop him from coming in – and to tell the truth I was glad for this in my actual state. The muscleman wasn’t moved from Martin’s threat that he’ll fire him. Then I suddenly started sweltering. Now I didn’t have the oxygen mask. It was as if someone had turned off the lights and the last thing I’ve heard was the piping of a machine.

\---

The silence was nearly absolute, but from behind my back I’ve heard dull noises. I didn’t care. I was moved by my curiosity. I was paying attention to the thing in front of me – something was calling me, something from I couldn’t break away. I didn’t really want to do so. I felt no pain, everything was so calm, I wasn’t anxious anymore. It was so good to be there! But no, something was still disturbing my peace. The noises from behind got louder. No! I want to stay here! I won’t go back! No! Don’t…

Another electric shock went through my body. I’d have screamed from the shock, but I wasn’t able to do so. I’ve heard that a machine started beeping and the doctor sighed in relief. I was totally woozy. I saw just blurred patches. I knew that there were people around me, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying, I couldn’t see their faces. It was as though I’ve felt a warm hand squeezing my hand desperately. Then darkness again.

\---

Dave hurried to the hospital really nervously. Darren’d called him a few minutes ago, updating him with the news. Martin didn’t dare calling him. Before the news he was trying to reach Mia on her phone to ask where the hell she was, but the cell was turned off. He was sure she was mad at him. In the hotel he quickly shook off Jen telling her that one of his workmates and friends got into the hospital and he has to go. He saw the strange flash in Jen’s eyes, which was there since they’d arrived to Copenhagen. He was sure it was because of the e-mail. But now this was the last thing he wanted to think about. He asked someone to bring him to the hospital and he was already by the reception, where they gave him some instructions where to go. He was raving with fury as he hurried down the half-lit corridors. When he saw the two familiar figures he frowned. Darren was sitting on one of the plastic chairs on the corridor and Martin was standing in front of a window with venetian blinds, his arms folded in front of his chest, worrying expression on his face.

“You bastard!” he stepped to Martin and punched in hard in his immense fury. Martin hadn’t protested, he let Dave rave his fury on him. He started wiping away the running blood from his nose without a word. He didn’t pay attention to the singer and he knew that this’d make him even angrier. He didn’t care. The only and one he cared was Mia and the fact that it was his fault that the girl had a CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). It was his fault. Just his fault.

Dave was just hitting the now laying Mart, kneeling next to him until Darren held down his hand steadily “No!” he said just this and Dave looked up at him dazed. Slowly recognition started gleaming in his eyes and when Darren took a few steps backwards, Dave helped Martin up and hugged him. Both of them had tears in their eyes but they were still keeping themselves together.

And Jennifer was standing on the hospital corridor shocked and unseen. She saw everything – the beating and the hugging too. She saw a figure lying in bed and she thought it was better for her to retreat. She thought she’ll pretend – even for herself – that she hasn’t seen anything. Partly she was relieved – if we can say that – when she saw her husband ramping like mad, cuz it seemed her fears were baseless – the two friends has nothing to do with each other… in that meaning she feared. Cuz you won’t strike someone to death if you love him, right? It seemed to her that Dave cut Mart out with his actual girlfriend – it wouldn’t be the first time – and this was the cause of everything. She wasn’t thrilled that her husband screws another woman, but she had to swallow this during their marriage’s long years. It never crossed her mind that sometimes things aren’t what they may seem… She saw this case solved – she had nothing more to do so she drove back to the hotel. No one noticed that she was there too.

“Is there a problem?” a doctor asked as he stepped out of Mia’s room and eyed the three men. Dave had his angry grimace still on his face, Darren was ready to stop him again and Martin was checking his bleeding nose. No one said a word. But the doctor called into the room and a nurse walked out too. “I’m Dr. Nielsen. Please, Asta, take care of Mr. Gore’s injuries!”

The small woman nodded and led Mart to a nearby seat to sit down when he started protesting, saying that he won’t go anywhere far. So the nurse brought the things she needed from a nearby room. Meanwhile Dr. Nielsen and Dave had introduced themselves and the doctor started speaking again.

“The Miss is now better” he started “But it was close – we nearly lost her, Mr. Gahan. We were fighting for her for more than three minutes. It was hard to bring her back. We can’t say it yet whether her brain’d suffered injuries from the lack of oxygen or not. And it’s hard for her to breathe. The examinations had revealed that her former acute pneumonia with the wet lungs caused a heavy inflammation of the lungs. Her lungs nearly collapsed - this is why she’s on the life supporter machine now.”

The anger slowly faded away from Dave’s face and fright, anxiety and shock took its place as his face got paler and longer.

“If I’m right, Miss Kovacs had spent hours long outside in the city.”

“Yes” Dave groaned out in a hoarse tone as his gaze wandered onto Mia, who was still lying motionless between the beeping machines. It was terrible for him to see those pipes going into her body and the infusion dripping into her arm.

“Well her carelessness nearly caused her own death” he shook his head careworn and followed Dave’s look “She’ll stay here for a while. This isn’t a game anymore, Mr. Gahan. We don’t want to let her go before she’s completely healthy again, or at least the setback’s risk’ll be on the minimum.”

“Sure” he faltered out “Thank you for bringing her back!” he looked at him and shook his hand.

“This is my job, Mr. Gahan. But now if you’ll excuse me…”

“Wait, doctor!”

“Yes?”

“Can I go in?”

The doc frowned “Are you a relative?”

“Boss and friend.”

“Alright, but just for a minute. Mr. Gore can go in too. Our nurse’ll be around.”

“Thank you.”

The doc nodded and hurried to another patient.

\---

The door had opened. I didn’t get too much from the happenings – I was a piece of shit. There was a tube in my throat and every kind of plastic thing was going in and out of my body. I didn’t want the boys to see me like this. Temporarily I couldn’t even open my eyes cuz I was too weak. But somehow I’ve heard as they came closer. It was them – no doubts. Even in such a weak condition I was able to recognize their scents and presence.

“Do you think she can hear us?” Martin asked quietly. His voice was a bit strange from the tampons in his nose. In my slow-motion brain the question was slowly formed what could’ve happened to him, but I wasn’t sure – maybe just my brain was playing tricks with me changing Martin’s voice in my ears.

“Dunno” I heard Dave’s cold and short answer.

Don’t be mad, Dave, please, I thought but I wasn’t able to do anything else.

“Mia, my dear, please, don’t be mad at me! Everything’s my fault!” I heard Martin’s voice and I think I felt the mattress moving beside me. Probably he went onto his knees and was asking for my forgiveness like that. “I was egoistic and haven’t thought about it that you can come after me! I thought… I thought… no, no… I wasn’t even thinking!” he blamed himself “Cuz you’ve told me that you love me and I… pushed you away. Oh God, you were out there for hours searching for me! You died a few minutes ago just because of me! And it’s such a big luck that the docs could bring you back” he rattled out. His voice was shaky from crying.

What? I was dead? Really? And they took me back? This shocked me.

Dave looked at one of the monitors, which showed my pulse rising from the things Martin just said. He turned back to us with his arms folded in front of his chest – but of course I couldn’t see anything from this.

“Mia, please, forgive me! Forgive me! I didn’t want this! I nearly died too when I’ve heard that machine beeping! I love you, can you hear it? I love you!” he buried his head into the sheet.

Dave stepped closer to the bed “Martin… she can hear us.”

“What? How do you know?”

“Look!” he pointed at the teardrop which slowly slid down on my face.

I think this was too much for Martin. He started weeping. Whether he really did it or it was just my imagination, I don’t know. The drugs the doctors gave me knocked me out. I felt my hands like stones as my left started moving very slowly to search for Martin’s hand on the sheet. I knew that it was somewhere on my bed. I felt myself so miserable and defenseless! So vulnerable! It was as if they pinned me to the bed! Go away, I begged without words. It was like torture that they saw me like this.

I don’t know how long I was groping after his hand until Martin was able to realise what I was doing. Then I felt him taking my hand carefully.

“I’m here, Mia, I’m here!” I heard his voice and I was able to move my finger a bit in his palm “Dave, she really can hear us! Her fingers just moved!” he looked up at him with his teary green eyes.

Dave was still looking at me speechless and shocked, thinking about the doctor’s previous words. Then I think he sensed looking at my slowly falling tears that it hurt me that they had to see me like this. He quietly said “Come on, Mart, let her rest. Don’t upset her even more” he looked at the monitor, where he could see that my heart was beating still hard. I could hear the shock in his voice. I thanked silently for God that he let Dave feel what I could feel inside. I heard the door closing behind them and I gave in to my strong medicines and fell into a dreamless, deep sleep.

\---

Dave was standing on the hotel’s balcony deep in his thoughts. He didn’t care that the night was chilly, he was smoking again. Jennifer was sleeping in the master bedroom, just like Rosie in another room of the suite. Jimmy’d stayed in New York by one of his friends.

He couldn’t sit still anymore. He put his pack of cigarette into his pocket and stepped out to the corridor without a word. He knocked at Martin’s door. When there was no answer, he pushed the handle down – the door was open. It was bright in the ‘living room’, he spotted Martin immediately. He was sitting motionless on the sofa, propping his chin in his palms, his eyes glassy. Dave saw that his blonde friend was somewhere else. But he didn’t care. Mia nearly died because of him. The woman who was so important to him! He stepped next to Martin.

“What were you thinking?” he asked quietly, but his cold voice was shaking from his anger. Martin looked up at him slowly, but didn’t answer. His eyes were full of pain. He sighed raggedly and fresh tears appeared in his eyes. So now Dave came too to torture him? Isn’t it enough that he’s torturing himself because Mia’d nearly died? Because of him? But it wasn’t enough for Dave “You nearly killed her. What were you thinking? Who are you to endanger another human being’s life? If she had died then I…” he didn’t finish. Martin knew it well what Dave would have done in that case. After beating the shit out of him, he’d deny that he was the singer of Depeche Mode. This was another stab into Martin’s bleeding heart. Why was he torturing him? Why? He knows he can do it, he knows how much pain he can cause, he knows that he loves him! Both of them! He was looking straight into Dave’s eyes, but now he saw just anger and hate. He bent his head. You’re evil, Dave Gahan, he thought.

Dave sat down opposite him onto the low table and put an unopened bottle of whiskey out of the way. Martin was probably flirting with it earlier, but he didn’t touch it yet.

“Tell me, were a few bottles worth it? Huh?” he looked at him and pulled out his cigarette. He took one between his long fingers and lit it. He felt the smoke in the air and saw the stubs in the ashtray and he knew that Martin had a lot of ciggies already. Martin looked at him with even more pain in his eyes and now his tears were flowing on his pale face. Although Dave was hard on the outside, his heart was beating painfully in his chest as he examined Martin’s face, which was purple on some spots and his nose was swollen from one of his punches. “Answer me, Martin!”

“Dave… don’t torture me! Please…”

“Was it worth it?!” he yelled at him.

“NO!” he screamed back, but bent his head right away as he calmed down. They were sitting there quietly for a few minutes, Dave puffing smoke into the air.

“I hope this was a good lesson. I’d learned where the booze can take you. I’d learned it years ago. Do you remember?” he went on with a calmer voice.

“I remember.”

“Do you know what shocked me the most? Not your stupid behaviour that you didn’t give a shit what Mia could feel, or that she can go after you – endangering her own life for you fucking one – but that technically she was dead. For more minutes than me! I was dead only for two minutes, but she was dead for nearly four minutes! Four fucking minutes! Do you know what this could have done to her? Do you know?! When the brain can’t get enough oxygen, after five minutes it surely causes damage. Now we can just hope that she hadn’t suffered permanent damage! It was a near thing for me too… By Mia we have to wait until she comes round. Although it was positive that she reacted to our presence” he drew in the smoke again.

Martin didn’t say a word. He knew that Dave was right. He was simply right. Martin was sad again. If there was be something with Mia… He wouldn’t be able to forget himself.

“Dave, please… forgive me!” he sobbed “I… I’m so…” he couldn’t pull himself together “Don’t leave me, please!” he looked at him begging “I can’t do this alone! Watching what’ll be with Mia. Please, don’t leave me alone!” he begged.

Dave stabbed his cigarette with a serious face, puffed the smoke into the air and looked straight into his crying friend’s eyes. His eyes softened a little.

“Don’t be afraid Mart, I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you alone, but I wanted you to feel the weight of this. To feel how much you’d have lost if… if she died. Then I would have gone. Forever. Then our relationship was over, my feelings… for you, our friendship, everything, you know it, right? I love you too. I know that I fell in love with Mia. For a long while. It would have fucking hurt, if we lost her because of our stupid things.”

“Our stupid things?”

“Yes” he folded his hands on his lap “I made mistakes too.”

“Fore example?”

“I let her go after you cuz I couldn’t leave Jen and Rosie there. If they hadn’t been here, I would have kept her from running around sick.”

“I know exactly what you’d do if Mia…” he sighed then with a nervous move he wiped his tears away “Look, I don’t expect you to look over me, to be my nanny because of my stupid things. You have a family Dave. I’ll try everything to control myself – I promise this here looking straight into your eyes. I haven’t even touched the whiskey yet, you can see. I haven’t drunk anything. This case shocked me.”

“But until when… It doesn’t matter, let it go. I don’t want you to hate me because of this” he shook his head then stood up to walk to the window, putting his hands into his pockets.

“I won’t hate you, but right now I can’t offer more than this.”

Dave heard Martin carefully walking next to him, looking up at him. “Alright. It’s your conscience, your body” he answered quietly, watching the nightly city. Outside the cold wind was blowing sharply.

“I know Dave that you’d stopped drinking years ago and I appreciate that you tolerated me even when sometimes I wasn’t in too nice situations. This lesson from today was good. I feel it.”

“Then maybe you should spill the whiskey into the sink so that it won’t tempt you if I go” he noted.

Without a word Martin turned around, grabbed the bottle and went to the bathroom with it. Dave turned a bit so he could see through the open door as he poured even the last drop into the basin. In the mirror he saw Martin’s grimace – it was meant probably for the whiskey. Then he came back to him and stopped in front of him, lifting his sad green gaze onto him.

“How does it feel?”

“It’s better” Blondie answered.

A faint smile appeared on Dave’s face and it seemed as if a little pride flashed in his eyes. “Alright” he hugged Martin suddenly.

And Martin nuzzled to him with all of his heart’s bitterness. He put his head onto Dave’s chest and he was just listening to his heartbeats “Dave, once… once there was a time when I thought I’d lost you. I love Mia, I really do. But… you must know that… I… I love you more” he said the end of his sentence barely audible “I’d do anything for you. Hold me back, help me, maybe… maybe I can succeed…”

The blonde musician was nuzzling to him as if his life was depending on it. For him Dave was now like a gulp of air. He needed just him now, to feel that he stands by his side. No one could understand this as well as he. He was just holding him softly, never wanting to let him go. He wanted to bury himself into his scent, into the feeling as the other’s arms were around his back and waist, as Dave’s breath was softly tickling his nape, moving a few curly tufts. No, he never wanted letting him go.

The things Martin said hit Dave hard and he whispered his reassuring answers too. He didn’t know how long they had been standing there hugging. He felt that both of them started calming down. Finally he took Martin’s injured face into his hands and looked into his eyes “You’re crazy, Gore” and then he put a featherlike kiss onto his lips and gently broke free from the hug “Now I have to go. Go to bed and have a nice sleep. Tomorrow evening we must do the concert without Mia too” he said heading for the door.

Martin was staring at the spot where Dave’d disappeared after closing the door behind him. Then finally Curly stumbled towards his bedroom. But of course he couldn’t sleep, he was just tossing and turning and the day’s events were running around his head. Prize-winner jerk, you’d take the prize on the cattle-sale, he thought. He was lucky that Dave was still standing by his side even after this. He knew that Dave loves him too, but he won’t love him as much as he does love Dave. He didn’t mind, the main point was to have Dave and Mia by his side…

“Jeez, Mia, kitty!” his heart sank “You were able to… to come after me no matter that you were this sick…”


	28. Chapter 28

28.

 

After a few moments Dave closed his room’s door quietly behind him. He had no desire to answer Jen’s question where he was going, but luckily she didn’t wake up. He put his hands into his olive-green jacket’s pockets after he arranged his scarf with a thoughtful face. He stepped out of the hotel where a cab was already waiting for him. Of course he was going to see Mia. He knew that there was no visit time in the middle of the night, but now he used his connections and after a phone call he had a green light. He nodded to the doctor without a word and stepped into the dimly lit room. The machines painted the walls with their blue lights. ‘Blasphemous Rumours’ came into his mind right away.

Ended up on a life support machine, he thought with a bitter taste in his mouth. He pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down, taking Mia’s slim hand carefully into his. A little machinery was on one of her fingers, counting her pulse. His heart sank as he started watching the vulnerable woman. Her chest was rising and sinking obediently to the life support machine’s rhythm. The young woman was motionless, she was sleeping soundly.  
Obviously from the strong antibiotics, Dave grimaced. He was worried because of the strong meds. If Mia has to take them for a long time, she could get addicted to them like a junky.

“I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you” he whispered and put a kiss onto her hand. Mia hasn’t reacted. Now she couldn’t hear anything. Her sleep was dreamless. A tear ran down on Dave’s face as he smiled bitterly. He blamed himself just as much as he blamed Martin. He was careless too. Both of them endangered her life – for the second time and now it was very close… He was wondering whether they’ll pull Mia down with them if they continue this affair. He was seriously worried that this poor girl can die from this relationship. But if they decided to leave her, would she survive that?

He was full of worries and doubts as he was examining the pale face, the closed eyes, the matted brown hair and the scary tube which was coming out of her mouth. It was nailed there so it could not move. He knew how it feels. He gulped unwillingly. For a very short time he had such a tube too. Back then…

At that time he experienced a lot of things – this is why he doesn’t like hospitals and he tries to do everything so he can stay away from them. Bad memories. “The Cat” the doctors called him like that, cuz in his darkest period he lived through a lot of things. How many lives had left for him? And for Mia? She was some kind of cat too and he was worried about her. He was worried that this illness, bringing her back from death, the meds and they can just cause more damage to her…

He was sitting there nearly until dawn. The light blue line over the horizon warned him that it was time to go back to Jenny. To his family. He was wondering – he put Mia in front of his family? How long can he keep this relationship in secret? It’d be a disaster if it turned out. The band’d be over – and for Mia’s, Martin’s and his life too. He shooed these thoughts, he can return to them later. Now Mia was top priority.

\---

On that day after lunch Jenny and Stella said goodbye to Dave, who tried to blame his worry for Mia to the coming concert. Jen looked at him in a strange way, but she didn’t say a word yet. They agreed that they’ll speak about a next visit some time then they’d left. Dave realised surprised that he sighed in relief from this. But he calmed himself that this was just because the worrying and the situation. He had to prepare himself for the concert and he’ll have to speak with Mart about Mia and what they should do with her when they’ll have to go to the next city. He was sure she won’t be able to go with them the day after tomorrow – and for telling the truth he wouldn’t let her do so until she’ll be perfectly healthy again.

\---

The day had passed relatively quickly. They went into the hospital with Martin and Andy then they had to concentrate onto the concert, which was like a routine task for them, although Dave was more tense than usual. He was running and screaming into the mic a lot to somehow deduce the tension he felt. He felt the lack of Mia’s vocal and this inspired more energetic movements from him.

After the concert Anton walked to them.

“Boys! This… this was simply fantastic! Incredible energy… Oh my god! The crowd… and the songs were nearly pulsating! We have to release this gig on the next DVD.”

Dave looked at Martin then turned back to Anton “I don’t think we should release this one. I was nervous today on stage and this’d be visible to everyone. And I’d prefer it with backing vocals” he drank from his mineral water.

“No, no, Dave, I hang on to this. You drove the audience wild! We have a fantastic shooting from you! We can’t skip this one!”

Anger crossed Dave’s face for a moment. He hated when someone disagreed with him. “Martin?” he asked, his voice nearly snapping.

“I’d like to have the vocals on the DVD too. That’s something new from us and I want to show it.”

Anton was looking at them shocked for a few moments. They’d never questioned his work.

“But Mart… you can’t deny that this concert was the best.”

“I won’t deny that it was a quite aggressive concert. Do you really want to release this to show it to the fans?”

“But they’d enjoyed it!” he broke out.

“Well yes. They’d enjoyed it. But it would probably turn out something different on the DVD. The fanatics – and the others who weren’t here – would realise that I was raging not because I was happy” Dave interrupted and lit a cigarette “And that wouldn’t be good for our image, would it?”

“What?” Anton looked at him confused.

“It wouldn’t be good to let them see how edgy I was and how tense Martin was. They’d think that we have problems among the band members. In my opinion this wouldn’t be too good.”

“But…”

“Anton! Can we change the topic?” Dave flashed his dark gaze on him edgily “I’m not in a good mood and I don’t want them to see it – you could understand this.”

“What’d you say to a compromise?” Martin looked at Dave then Anton.

“What kind of compromise?” the Dutch asked.

“For example after I got out of my depression and the band’ll be full again, I’ll make you an even better concert than this!” Dave inhaled the smoke from his cigarillo and looked questioningly at Corbijn.

He was looking at the boys unbelievingly. “I’m sorry guys… but an even better concert?”

“Yes, an even better one!” Dave smacked at the table nervously when the last drop of his patience was gone too “Don’t you think that we can do it?!” he asked him yelling loudly.

“Relax Dave” Martin – who was sitting next to him - touched his arm.

Dave sat back cursing under his nose, nearly pouting.

“Alright, alright!” Anton held up his hands defensively “But we’ll keep this record too and if you don’t make a better show for me, then we’ll release this one.”

“Fine!” Dave growled and lit another cigarette then Anton finally walked out of the room.

Mart looked at Dave “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Are you asking this seriously?” he flicked the ash into the ashtray a bit calmer “No, I’m not okay!”

“Relax” he went on with his immovable calmness “We’ll take care of it. After Mia’s return we’ll give such a party that he’ll search for his jaw on the floor. Cuz she’ll be with us, Dave.”

“Are you really sure?” he turned to him questioningly.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you really sure that after all of this she won’t leave us behind? We just bring problems and bad things into her life – haven’t you noticed?”

“Don’t be like this to me Dave” he looked at him a bit harder “This won’t help. By the way I noticed it. But we must let her decide.”

“Yeah” he sighed looking at the burning cinder. Dejection swayed all over his body “But telling the truth… I’m afraid of her decision. With my mind I know it’d be better for her to go home and live a calmer life, but my heart… you know.”

“Yeah, I know” he hugged his shoulder “She’ll get better and then we’ll see, okay? You shouldn’t be worried until then. We have to leave in two days. We should pray that she’ll come round until then and we can tell her the news. If not then we leave a message or we write a letter or dunno” he shrugged. He was the sober one from them now. Dave just smiled at his friend. He was right. Finally he stood up and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

\---

After the concert – on the day of their departure – Mart and Dave went into the hospital, hoping that Mia’ll be conscious. But she was still swimming in senselessness’ sweet groove, so the guys couldn’t tell her what they wanted to share with her badly. They had so much to say! Martin got some papers and sat down in Mia’s room. He wrote three pages for her – telling her his feelings, his opinion what she should do, what’d be the best for Mia then when he’d finished, he gave it to Dave to write down his own thoughts too. Although Dave wasn’t the type who writes too much – he left this for Martin – now he wrote nearly two pages about his thoughts and feelings, sitting surrounded by the machines’ voices. Then with a heavy heart he sealed the envelope and put it onto Mia’s nightstand next to a bunch of roses so she’ll be able to see it if she opens her eyes. As a goodbye they both stepped to her with heavy hearts and kissed her forehead, squeezed her hand and looked back from the door once more. Then they had to go to the airport. Dave wasn’t sure but it seemed for him for a moment that he’d seen another little teardrop sliding down Mia’s face.

\---

She came round slowly. First she didn’t know where she was. The white ceiling was a bit frightening for her, but then she realised that she was in a hospital. She tried to swallow – it was hard. She softly bit down on the plastic tube, which went down to her throat… or even further? She didn’t know but it was a terrible feeling. She whimpered a bit, but no one’d heard her. She carefully sighed and then she smelled the rose-scent. She squinted to the side and smiled faintly. She didn’t know how long her weak body had been sleeping, or where the guys were, but she felt herself a bit better. Although her throat was disturbingly dry and she couldn’t really move from the tubes, but she was relieved that she was able to wake up. When she looked at the roses again, she spotted a white envelope with her name too. From this a blurry memory came into her mind – first she thought that it was just a dream, but slowly she realised that it had really happened. It was the boys’ letter. They’d left. But of course they couldn’t stop the tour because of her, she understood that. She wanted to read their lines as soon as possible, but she wasn’t able to move. This frustrated her a bit, but she tried to wait patiently and collect her thoughts and memories until someone checks on her. Luckily after half an hour a nurse came in to check the machines and she smiled at her.

“Oh, so we are finally awake?” she stroked along Mia’s forearm “I go and call Dr. Nielsen, okay?”

As an answer Mia closed her eyes then looked at the nurse again, who sent her another smile then disappeared from her field of vision. She was waiting for the doctor in silence and motionless, listening to the life supporter machine’s rhythmic snuffles – of course ‘Blasphemous Remours’ came into her mind immediately. She was humming that song in her head while she was waiting.

The doctor came in and examined her. After he judged that her lungs were strong enough to breathe by their own, he leant to the tube and while he advised her to take a deep breath he pulled the tube out of her throat. For a moment Mia thought she’ll puke, but just a coughing spasm came. After they freed her from a few now unnecessary tubes she sat up and reached for the letter. It was so great for her that the life supporter machine’s monotone voice had stopped! She was holding the letter in her lap while she carefully sipped from her water. The infusion was still in her, just like the thing which counted her pulse, but these weren’t as disturbing as the tube in her throat. She had no idea how she’ll eat and stuff, but now she wasn’t hungry or anything like that. From the doctor she knew that she was unconscious nearly for a week and her lungs were recovering nicely during this time. He’d mentioned that those who had left the letter there, called the hospital every day. They wanted to know how she was and hung up disappointed every day, cuz she was still playing the Sleeping Beauty. This care filled her heart with warmth.

After she thanked for the doc he walked out and she was finally alone. She carefully exhaled and stroked along the envelope with her hand and gaze too. Then she slowly opened it and pulled out the thick-written pages. She recognized their writing. She started reading. She wasn’t even by the one third of the letter when the tears started running down her cheeks. Soon she turned the page sniffling loudly. She nearly completely let her feelings flow, but she knew that if she did more, that’d result in a bad coughing spasm again. This is why she tried to hold back as much as it was possible. Later when she’ll be completely healthy, she’ll read it again and she’ll cry the whole time. Oh my god, Martin, she cried out inside reading his self-reproaching lines and new tears ran down her face when he told her he loved her. Dave did the same in his style and she could just cry on this too!

She missed them so much! And she knew that she won’t be able to see them for a while. She has a task. First she must recover. Now she promised herself that she’ll try everything so she’ll be able to go after them as soon as possible. That’ll be a nice surprise for the guys! The doc said that she must stay for another two weeks. But she’ll show the medicine that she can pull herself together in no time. If she hadn’t had such a strong system, she would have pushed up the daisies by now.

A lot of people said that if a woman takes something in her head… Instead of 14 days – for the doctors’ biggest surprise – she felt herself completely well after just 8 days. She had to stay for another day for safety’s sake, but after that she was free. She hasn’t hesitated for too long – she went after the boys. She knew that Las Vegas was coming on the list. Anyway a climate change will be good for her. She didn’t ask for a car and driver, cuz she wanted her completely healthy presence for the boys as a surprise. Her first way led her to the right floor where she knocked on Martin’s door. She wanted to see him after his letter. Badly. She carefully – like a cat – sneaked into his suite.

\---

I put my bag down and was watching him for a few minutes with a smile on my face. He was playing on his guitar, totally closing the world around him out. I drank in the familiar moves. My eyes got nearly watery, but I held the tears back. I cleared my throat a bit to draw his attention, but at the end I didn’t wait him to turn around. With a few steps I was already behind him, burying my face into his neck, inhaling the familiar scent.

“MIA?!?!?!” he shouted after a moment of shock.

“Uh-uh, it’s me” I whispered happily into his ear “Happy?”

“Of course you silly!!! Oh my god, Mia!” he pulled me onto his lap and embraced me firmly but carefully. He was kissing my mouth hastily and desperately then hiding his teary eyes he buried his face into my shoulder, inhaling my familiar scent too.

“Alright Marty, now I’m here” I shushed him hugging back and with one hand I dug into his blonde tufts while I’ve started rocking us softly. He was hugging me like never before. He buried his blonde head into me and he was repeating that he was sorry and he asked me not to be mad at him. I wasn’t able to do so even for a moment. “It’s alright, Marty. Now everything’s alright!” I took his tear-stained face into my hands “I came back to you two. Now everything’ll be fine. I’m healthy. Everything’s fine! Don’t cry! Be happy! I’m not mad at you, darling. I wouldn’t be able to do so” I caressed him as I tried to calm him down. I think my appearance shocked him – or at least this was the relief for him after all these weeks. I was calming him for long minutes until he felt himself better, but he was speaking still ragged. I didn’t let him speak too much – I was kissing him as if years had passed. For me it seemed really that long.

“I’ve missed you so much” I whispered to him – just for him – so he could feel that he was important to me.

“Even after all these things?” he whispered embracing my waist carefully.

“Yes” I smiled at him and let him tuck a long mop of my hair behind my ear.

“But…”

“No, Martin, just be happy to see me, please” I whispered putting my index finger onto his lips then I was examining his face profoundly, still smiling and finally his look and face relaxed too. We kissed again and we were savouring each others’ mouth without any rush, it was so gentle.

“Martin, I just called the hospital and they said that they’d let Mia out yesterday. I don’t know where she could have gone…” Dave stepped into the room – still pushing some buttons on his cell, which he wanted to put away, but it landed on the floor when he saw us.

“I think she’s in my lap” he finally smiled from the bottom of his heart.

I looked up at my singer with a smile “Hi Dave” I said and jumped up to nuzzle to the other man too. I didn’t really want to let him go either. He picked me up and was turning round and round with me. “Hey, hey! Put me down!” I laughed and he slowly put me down.

“Jesus, Mia, I’ve missed you so much!! I was so scared! I was so scared from a lot of things. And you came after us! Haven’t you read the letter?”

“Of course I have. I was crying reading it even when I wasn’t allowed to do so” I shrugged standing in front of him in the prison of his arms.

“And?”

“Crap. If I love someone – and in this case we’re talking about two men – then I don’t care what comes. I would go crazy without you” I smiled into his eyes “You’d become the biggest part of my life in such a short time. Back in Copenhagen I had time to think through this whole thing – although it wasn’t a question for me that I’ll choose you two.”

“Oh, Mia!” Dave whispered hoarsely and he kissed me too. I was immensely happy that I was finally with them again!

“What’ll we do today?” I looked at them. Dave grimaced.

“Stupid press conference. And we can’t cancel it – this is Vegas, kitty. But” he whispered into my ear “tonight we’ll use this. So go shopping!”

“Shopping? Why?”

“Cuz we’ll visit at least one casino, sweetie” Dave laughed, but seeing my face he looked at me a bit more seriously “Don’t worry Mia, we won’t gamble away all of our money, but we have to see such casinos like the MGM Grand or the Bellaggio.”

I nodded. I didn’t want to play, but I wanted to see these – so to say – celebrities too.


	29. Chapter 29

29.

After they could finally let me go I’ve decided to take my purse and I took a look around in Vegas’ shops. I recognized a few streets from CSI, but I was just walking. It was good to be outside. I’ve started getting claustrophobic even just from the thought of a room. I went into some elegant shops to look for some nice dresses. In the dressing room I realised again that I’ve lost a lot of weight in the hospital. My hip bones were sticking out in not a pretty way. I made a face but tried on another dress. I said no to black dresses – I was skinny enough, I didn’t want to seem leaner than I already was. Red highlighted my now non-existent curves. So I picked a gold dress. It was glistening, it was simple and elegant. Two thin stripes crossed on my back and held the dress on me. I fell in love with it right away so I bought it. During my Vegas-walk I bought some other accessories then finally I headed back to the hotel, although I wanted to walk a bit more.

When I got into my room, I unpacked everything and after a nice refreshing shower I was sitting on the bed in a fluffy bathrobe. I ordered something tasty for a late lunch or early dinner then I nestled into my bed in my robe and was eating and watching telly. I smiled when there was a little report about the boys on a TV channel and a little teaser from their last concert in Vegas. Of course it was from ‘Behind the wheel’ when Dave well… grabbed the essence of things… I licked my mouth as I agreed with myself that his ‘little one’ wasn’t that little…

I’ve finished eating with a smile and I took my necessary pills. Just after this my phone started ringing. It was Dave. They’d finished the press conference and he asked me to be ready in one and a half hour time. I stretched on the comfy bed and I nestled myself back under the fragrant blanket. I had a little time to dream. But finally I had to get out of the bed, although I wanted to stay there a little longer… and not alone as I thought deeper into this. Knowing that two divine men could have lying on my sides… I rather pulled myself together and got out of the bed, disappearing in the bathroom. I had time to prepare myself, trying to be perfect for my princes. When I was finally ready, I’ve heard a knock on my door. Just in time.

“It’s open.”

“Are you ready, kitty?” Dave stepped in.

“I am” I turned to him smiling then I rearranged my hair which was pinned up loosely.

“Huh, now I’m too – but from you! Oh God, you’re so beautiful!” he stepped close to me and he couldn’t take off his eyes of me.

“Oh, thank you” I smiled at him playfully. I knew exactly what was going on in my personal favourite’s little head… and I felt it too. I pecked his nose softly then headed for the door.

Martin feasted his eyes on me in the same way and he complimented me constantly. I felt myself like a princess as they offered their arms from both sides. Dave was wearing one of his divine and perfect black suits and this time Martin looked chic too. I was smiling when they helped me into the car. I’d arrived home.

In the casino they went to the poker table right away. I didn’t know the game so I was just watching the party like an outsider. It wasn’t that bad and it seemed that I bring them luck. One round was enough for them from the game. Tonight they didn’t want to risk anything. And I appreciated this. I never liked casinos – somehow I was untouched by them – we can say they gagged me. But I must confess that the places we went were very imposing – they were decorated with taste, balancing on the edge of kitsch and stylishness. Machines were tinkling everywhere, sometimes we heard happy yells when someone had won. My head started aching a bit from this much noise. The boys invited me just in time for a late and light dinner into a nice and probably bloody expensive restaurant, where we could finally hide from the curious gases. I could sigh in relief in a quite calm atmosphere. I liked the place. There was a distant look on my face as I was watching the flame of the candle dancing on our table, or the shadows on the walls. It was calm, peaceful and nice. This city was interesting, but living here… it can be madness.

“Well, how do you like Las Vegas so far, Mia?” Dave touched my hand softly.

“Phew… it’s really noisy” I laughed crossing my legs “It’s okay when we spend a few days here, but I wouldn’t live here, that’s for sure.”

“Why not?” Martin asked then sipped from his tonic water.

“Cuz I’d go nuts from the noise. I like quieter cities better” I shrugged “This one is too busy for me and too hot and too dry. And insane” I grimaced, which caused a laugh from Martin.

“We like it. It occurs that sometimes we make a trip here to relax.”

“Hmm… just the two of you?” I asked smiling.

Martin grinned back then looked nearly shyly at Dave.

“It occurred once or twice” my dark-haired Don Juan shrugged “But usually with friends” his fingers were playing on my naked forearm, which made me shiver slightly.

“Once or twice?” I asked “Don’t you want to speak about it?”

Martin didn’t say a word, he just tried to stop himself from grinning. Dave leant to me and whispered into my ear: “We can tell you about it in a more private place.”

“No Dave, I want to hear it now” I stated.

“How stubborn…” the little ‘sex-monster’ nuzzled to me and I had to grin.

“And curious…” I gave him a sexy smile and it got wider when he just wanted to slide his hand under the hem of my dress, but the appearance of the waiter’d stopped him. Mart was grinning knowingly under his nose. The waiter put the food onto the table and I reached for my salad. I ate enough back in the hotel and if it’s possible, I don’t eat too heavy foods at this time of day.

We were chatting from this and that, but I was waiting for the moment when I can finally ask my question from the boys. Somehow I was VERY curious about the thing…

“Soooo?” I asked looking at them mischievously “Where’s my bed time story?” I licked my mouth.

“Uhhh… it’s insane that this turns you on!” Dave noted with darker eyes as he turned to me with his upper body. I stroked along his chest and I felt that he shivered from this. Did they miss me this much?

“It’s not a big wonder” I shrugged.

“And why would we tell it to you? You already know what’d happened…” Martin noted grinning. I looked at him.

“Cuz you’ve got back your freshly healthy cat, who deserves a little pampering?” I slid my hand up on Martin’s thigh as I was enjoying the situation sitting between them. If I couldn’t soften Dave, I tried it by Martin. I nuzzled to him “You know I want to hear it…” I whispered with big, pleading eyes while my hand travelled up to a different place. He sighed. Dave was watching us smiling and ran one of his hands on my back, which was mostly naked. I shivered and kissed Martin. Gently and shortly. He looked down at me with cloudy eyes. “Hey” I asked him again “Tell me, please.”

He smiled and gently pulled me closer to him.

“Well okay… Usually I meet with Dave in a previously agreed place – in a hotel. We always spend some days there” he whispered into my ear.

I felt Dave sliding closer. Goose bumps broke out on my skin right away when he slid one of his hands onto my waist and started kissing my offered back, barely touching my skin. Martin smiled when he saw my nipples hardening under the dress.

“Please, go on!” I whispered hoarsely and they couldn’t decide whom I’ve told this. Martin went on with the story still whispering. I don’t have to tell that I was interested in every detail he shared with me. “Let’s go back to the hotel!” I nearly whimpered at the end cuz I’m a visual type and Dave’s kisses then shameless touches had their effects on me.

“I love it when we turn you on, kitty!” he kissed softly into my neck while Martin suddenly bent down to my décolleté.

“Boys!” I moaned quietly.

They grinned. Dave licked the small spot behind my ear – which always drove me crazy – once more and Martin squeezed one of my hardened breasts. Slowly I opened my eyes. It felt like a dream. I’ve really missed these dreams! Martin offered his hand and I accepted it then we stood up. Dave disappeared to pay the bill. Using the opportunity I nuzzled to Blondie and started kissing him. Soon our singer returned and after 20 minutes we were back at the hotel.

\---

We ended up in Dave’s room. I was the last in the line then with my back I leant against the closed door and I was looking at the boys like a predator at its prey. Dave grinned widely seeing this and Mart looked at me like never before. Jesus, they can kill me with one gaze! I sighed quietly. Even the thought that they were mine was maddening for me. Dave was eying me challenging.

“Well?”

“What well?” I stepped closer to them after I kicked off my shoes.

“How do you want it, kitty?” he looked down at me with lazily shining eyes as I stood between them, facing Dave. Martin took advantage of this soon – now he was the one who started kissing my back, while his hands caressed my naked arms.

“This sounded like some kind of a program where I can choose everything” I grimaced “Let your fantasy go, little Dave. Or…” I began while my hand slid downwards “… aren’t you small at all?” I grabbed him. I knew that Martin could see this over my shoulder too. My victim moaned out loud while Martin breathed into my neck, causing goose bumps all over my body.

“Mia…” Dave whispered hoarsely and pressed his lips against mine. He was kissing me fiercely and I returned it in the same way. Martin was biting my neck – from this I had to sigh into Dave’s mouth a few times. Martin came even closer to me so I had the opportunity to feel his awakening hardness pressing against my butt. Meanwhile Dave started pulling down my golden dress. I licked his mouth smiling then looked up into his eyes playfully and loosened his tie.

Dave’s emotions were whirling. He was so scared that he won’t see this light in Mia’s eyes anymore! He could still see the picture clearly in his mind as she was lying there on the life-support machine and he was very happy that now she was standing in front of him! He was enjoying the way she was kissing along his throat and opened the top three buttons of his black shirt, kissing and licking his revealed skin. He shivered and shook off his suit impatiently.

I smiled from his impatience and I continued licking his tattoos. I bit into the soft skin. Dave let Martin deal with my dress, who made it fall onto the floor, so their hands could slide freely on my nearly fully naked body. Dave was nearly moaning towards the ceiling from my pampering on his chest. Then he did it when I loosened his belt and my fingers had disappeared under his trousers. I felt his fingers dig into my hair. With my other hand I unbuttoned the remaining buttons and felt that Martin skilfully got rid off my thong.

Then it was my turn to moan, cuz one of his hands reached forward and slid between my thighs, the other one was squeezing my breasts while he was biting and kissing my back, breathing hard from the desire he felt. I was about to pamper Dave a bit, but now he had to do with just my hands – but he didn’t complain. His moans and my screams gave a sharp contrast to the room. Martin was working on me more intensely and I did the same on Dave.

“Bed!” I moaned when I felt my knees go weak, but Martin and Dave caught me easily. Martin slowly stopped rubbing my clit and Dave took me easily into his arms to take me into the bedroom. We exchanged a few kisses, but when I saw Martin taking off his clothes, I said “No! Let me help with that!”

I looked at Dave apologizing – he just nodded smiling and put me down then he lay down leisurely on the bed. I stepped to Martin and kissed him gently, while my hands continued unbuttoning his shirt. He smiled at me and I smiled back then I opened his shirt and bit already harder into him. I knew that he liked pain… Maybe I’ll buy him a handcuff to have a common toy… or maybe a collar’d better… I went along his chest then I wasn’t gentle on his tummy either, while my hands loosened his trousers and pushed it down. In the next moment I was kneeling in front of him and I was doing my work profoundly. I felt his fingers dig into my hair. I couldn’t see, but I knew that Dave was watching our every moves. I didn’t know what kind of effect it had on him… maybe he even touched himself, I had no idea. The sound of Mart’s voice closed out everything else. It was as if he was singing. I slid him out of my mouth and I looked up at him while I smiled. He looked back at me “Sing for me” I asked then leant back to hear the first tones. I gave my best to turn him on even more, listening to his moans. He was standing in front of me with all of his glory very soon and I was giving him all I could.

“Oh God!!! Mia… dear Mia!” he moaned “I’ve missed this so much!” he looked down at me with cloudy eyes. Our gazes met. He pulled me up by my nape and closing his hazy eyes he pulled me to him and kissed me greedily. I moaned into the kiss when I felt his painfully hard cock pressing against my tummy. His tongue was chasing after mine passionately then he reached under my butt and I automatically put my legs around his waist. Then I had to moan towards the ceiling when he slid into me right away. He was biting my throat greedily as he turned with me towards the bed. I was clinging to his neck desperately when his hips moved forward again then he laid down with me on the bed. Right next to Dave, who was fully naked too and for a moment I saw that he was working on himself… It was as if we had a race with Dave – who can moan louder? – and Mart was our follower. But the dark-haired singer couldn’t take it for too long that he was now the unnoticed one. He sneaked behind Martin then lean to his ear while his ‘little one’ was teasing Curly adequately.

„Do you want it?” he asked faintly.

“Oh, yes!” he moaned while he buried himself deep into me.

“Then be a good boy and relax…” he bit Mart’s earlobe then wet themselves and moved slowly forward. Martin’s face distorted from the pain and pleasure he felt. Dave panted into his neck. And I thought I’ll cum right there from this picture! I saw them like this for the first time! They were beautiful! I sighed when from Dave’s pressure Martin’s hips moved again, continuing my stimulation. Then our favourite singer’s pace accelerated and Martin found his rhythm, sliding deep into me again. I’ve started moaning louder, grabbing the sheet hard. Martin moaned loud too, just like me and Dave wasn’t quiet either. Oh God! If someone had seen us like this… Creepy! I moaned from this thought again.

“I think… I’ll… cum!” I moaned nearly screaming. I didn’t know why I said this out loud, but I simply had to do so!

“Alright… Mia!” Martin moaned “Don’t hold yourself… back! Cum for us!” he strained his arms next to me when they started moving faster in the same time. Now I was moaning from the sweet pain and I felt my orgasm building up quickly as I was watching their sweaty faces and bodies, which were moving in harmony. Then pleasure shot through my body and I closed my eyes, arched my back, grabbed the creased sheet even harder and I yelled an enormous one as the wild throbbing’s waves licked along my slim body.

“DAVEEEEE!” I’ve heard Mart’s yell after maybe half a minute. Dave moaned loudly on his deep tone too then he fell onto Martin’s back, who was propping himself by my sides on his shaking arms. I had no clue how it could’ve felt cumming doubly as a man… I was panting as I looked up at Mart’s still twisted face. From Dave I saw just his hair and forehead as he rested his head on Mart’s back panting heavily, and of course his tattooed arms next to Martin’s hands.

Then Martin couldn’t prop their weights anymore and they carefully put their weights on me. I moaned. Now I wasn’t the middle of the sandwich – now Curly was the lucky one…

“How was it?” I asked Martin whispering. I don’t know whether my question’d shocked him or not. It seemed that it surprised Dave… Maybe Martin felt the same, cuz he answered just slowly after he turned his face to me as he was resting his head on my shoulder. I couldn’t understand his stunned look. What was so special in this question?

“Euphoric. This was the first time… I’ve ever felt something like this” he moaned finally. Maybe I went too far with my question? Then it dawned on me…

“You had never done this… in the presence of a third one… right?” I asked quietly.

“Nope. You’re the first – and probably the last – one, who could see this” Dave exhaled and looked at me from behind Mart’s shoulder.

I looked at Dave shocked. The morbidity of the situation reached me too. And adding to that my question too… Suddenly I wished there was a hole on the floor so I could disappear in it. I’ve started pushing Martin and Dave off of me. I broke away from Blondie – Dave’s and my Blondie – and I crawled backwards until my back touched the headboard. “I’m sorry” I said “I had no right to ask this from you.” I really felt that I went too far. I should have thought through this before asking… or I shouldn’t have let this happen at all? This was morbid. It was good – very good – but it was a strange feeling and I could discover another side of the boys – but it was so different, so unusual and absurd. And the way Dave was looking at me when I asked my question… maybe I was acting this stupid because I could shock Dave too? I wanted to hide from him, from them.

“Don’t feel yourself embarrassed, Mia” Dave looked at me sliding out of Martin and he lay onto his tummy next to my leg. Martin stayed on his previous place, lying on his tummy too then he propped his head on his hands and looked at me.

“But this…”

“Don’t worry. You should see now that we don’t really have secrets in front of you” he noted.

I was staring at them for a long while. Then suddenly I slid closer and nuzzled to both of them. I buried my face into Dave’s chest while I was hugging them firmly. It was so good to feel their presence, the warmth of their bodies and knowing that they loved me! I felt my feelings radiating from me, but I had no strength to control them. I was just hugging these two men, who were the most important things in my life.

It was a good proof that I nearly died for them. But that was my decision. Since I’d come round in the hospital, I was different – I felt it. It shocked me that I was dead once and who knows why I came back? But now I was here, the lonely days in the hospital were over. I was with them. The love I felt for them filled me completely. When I was able to loosen my hug a bit, I lay down onto my back between them and I was looking at them in turns, sighing a big one. Dave’s fingertips were caressing my tummy as he was lying on his side, head propped up on his arm and he was watching me.

“Oh my, Mia, you’re so skinny. You’d lost a lot of weight” he noted with a sad look “How many kilos?”

“Nearly ten” I shrugged. I felt him running his fingers along my hipbones, which were slightly sticking out, on my thin waist, on my ribs and well… yes… on my flatter breasts. I didn’t like what I saw either, but I tried to make a joke from it. “Now at least I know how it feels being a skinny model.”

“This is serious, kitty” Mart said “I order some food - after such full exercises I’m hungry and Mia has to put on weight now.”

I smiled then watched him absentminded as he dressed up and called the room service. I stayed there with Dave. After a few minutes Mart appeared with a heavy-laden dinner-wagon.


	30. Chapter 30

30.

 

“Here you are, you can choose” our extemporary waiter offered the food. Dave called Mart to him with his eyes. He made Mart sit onto the bed and caressed him. I was just watching them. Most people’d be shocked from this, but I saw them in another way. They were beautiful, very sweet and in a way they were moving too. Looking at them I reached for some food and was nibbling impassively. It didn’t matter that I was too thin, I’ve got so unused to normal food that I didn’t miss it – more to say: I felt sick from it. I found more joy in looking at them than eating.

Martin smiled at Dave, gave a peck onto his lips and looked at me. I was still nibbling on that Edam cheese piece.

“Come on guys, it’s dinner-time!” he grinned and we laughed out loud with Dave.

“My ex-classmate used to say this” I noted and reached towards the dinner-wagon to put the rest of the cheese down, but Martin grabbed my wrist.

“No-no. We don’t put it down, we eat it. We’ll take care of you and you’ll be in form in no time” he looked at me then he returned my hand to my mouth.

“Why? Don’t you like me this way?” I pouted and bit a little from the cheese. Dave slid closer.

“Of course we do!” Mart protested fiercely “We’re just worried about you, so eat it!”

“Yes, sir!” I answered right away and turned my attention towards the cheese again. Or I should say I tried.

“We love healthy meat…” Dave winked and grabbed a small bowl with melted chocolate – I guess it was for the fruits, but he had no intentions to ‘ruin’ its taste with fruits – he wanted to ruin it with me. First he plunged his finger into the choc and tasted it. “Hmm… milk chocolate… and a nice quality” he closed his eyes for a moment, totally giving himself for the choc’s taste. I nearly forgot that our little panther was a big chocaholic.

Then smiled and bit down on my lip watching him digging his finger into the choc again then he dripped some of it onto my tummy. Is it a wonder that after this the cheese I was nibbling turned sand in my mouth? Absolutely. I barely could swallow it, but then I was chewing quickly, holding back a sigh. I felt my tummy-muscles ripple. Another portion of choc – another lick. And again… oh god… I’ll die here. Then Mart joined him to, but he came with fruits and… he was sopping from me. I went silently crazy. Of course I wasn’t concentrating onto the cheese, but on their touches.

I sighed when Dave grabbed one of my thighs, pulling my leg upwards and he licked along the inner side of my thigh from the top to reach the slowly streaming choc. Martin was licking and sucking the sweets from my hardened nipple. I felt that the situation was getting hotter between my legs again. The rest of the cheese was already lying on the car and I grabbed the headboard’s bars, sighing deeply. My chest was moving and my muscles contracted again and again.

The rest of the cheese was lying on the tray and I was lying weak on the bed. I was wondering that this is the best world of the existing ones and I was the empress there, who rules everything. I even tried it – I pulled away a bit and Dave Gahan was following me obediently. How very good it is for me, I grinned for me. Mart asked me what was that funny.

“Oh… nothing” I grinned and dug my fingers into his hair and pulled him up to lick the choc from the corner of his lips “I’m just enjoying… the situation…” My eyes were glistening with desire – again. I sighed into his mouth when his sweet tongue slid between my lips and asked my tongue for a dance, while his left hand was caressing my neck before they slid onto my nape.

Meanwhile I felt as Dave – nearly lying on his tummy now – put my right leg onto his left shoulder and let another portion of choc running on my inner thigh and his skilled tongue was already licking it. I heard him gulp time after time and moan from the taste of choc and my skin. He moved upwards with every lick – letting a wet trail on my skin. All of my nerves were standing on the edge. I felt the hotness in my waiting groin. I wanted him so badly licking me elsewhere too… I couldn’t stop myself – I knew that he was doing this willingly – so I grabbed his hair and pulled him to the right place. He laughed softly.

“Someone’s impatient here.”

“Correct. Cuz I know what you can do with your tongue. Pour choc on it or anything you want just lick me, now!” I asked “I want you so badly!” I added flatteringly.

“Hmmm… you think I should ruin your taste with choc?” he was waiting with his mouth inches from me while he was looking into my eyes with that perky and malicious look of his. I felt his hot breath on me and this caused another sigh from me, while Martin was kissing my neck – sometimes squinting onto Dave. Ohh, my little devils! “You’re much tastier…” he breathed with his maddening eye and he brushed his lower lip along my clit for a moment.

“Dave!” I moaned begging.

He grinned widely then he sealed his lips onto my aching point. I really loved in Dave that he was persistent, determined and a perfectionist to the end. Eve if there were some problems with these, I quickly put them aside when I tried to focus onto his hell-bent expression. It shouted ‘Now you’ll die, kitty!’. From this look desire rushed through me in enormous waves and I think my eyes got darker too. I knew that during his crazy tongue and mouth-work he was still watching me, but now I was grabbing the bars with head bent backwards and I sighed loudly.

“Oh, yesss…”

Martin immediately went for my mouth for a long and lustful kiss. I moaned into it a few times as Dave was doing his job profoundly – he was biting, sucking and… I don’t really know what he was doing, I felt just the crazy heat in my body.

“Uhhh… I see you’re quite ready for me…” Dave moaned and I felt him run his fingers playfully on me, nearly causing pain with his delay. “Be a good girl and beg for it!”

“David, make me yours!” I asked obediently.

“Are you sure you want this?” he pushed his tongue even deeper and upwards into me.

“You shameful! Do it!”

Martin laughed “No prob, kitty. If Dave hesitates, I’ll do it instead of him” he pushed his friend away and he was already inside me! I moaned surprised and loud towards the ceiling from this turn of events as I felt him slide into me up to the hilt. Somewhere in my mind I was curious what Dave’ll sayto this. What did I think? He’s not the type who wouldn’t find a way back on the back door after he was flung out on the main door… Suddenly I felt him lifting me and sliding under my body. I don’t know how he could carry this out, but I didn’t really care. I felt his wet fingers by my butt as he stroked me there for a few times.

“Relax kitty, I’m here. You can’t get me off…” he whispered into my ear hoarsely and I felt him pull me onto him. I shut my eyes tight and cried out. “Let yourself go, kitty, relax!” he pushed slowly deeper while I propped myself next to his sides. Martin was waiting patiently. Dave’s fingers slid along my hipbones and found their way between my legs again – he wanted to help me a bit. I moaned from pleasure as he started moving inside me. Now Martin wasn’t hesitating – he attacked me again.

“Hurray… I’m in the middle of the sandwich again!” I yelled without thinking.

“You like it when you’re with us both, don’t you?” Dave purred into my ear. Somehow he was purring so dangerously as if you were with a panther…

“Oh god, this feels so good!” I moaned, but after it I wasn’t able to moan too much, I was just fighting for some air – it was a very intense feeling. Martin growled shortly and it seemed this was a signal, cuz both of them accelerated their paces – and in such a great way! I was screaming and moaning in turns – depending on what kind of noise could come out from my mouth. And Dave gave me even more when with one hand he squeezed my breast then the other one ran down on my body again. I saw that he stroked along Martin’s chest too then he reached between us. Martin leant forward and he started torturing my free breast during our firm and quick moves. I thought I’d die there again! No, this isn’t a good metaphor, it ran thorough my mind, but after this my head was blank again and just the throbbing pleasure and groans had left…

I was grateful for Destiny that I could be a part of this. This relationship may be strange for other people, but for me it was more than fantastic. Possibly it was some kinda Strangelove, but for me these two guys meant the whole world. The two men who were embracing me – and loving me at the same time meant more than anything I could hope for from life. Yes, it was worth it to born for this! It didn’t matter that I’ve made mistakes – everyone does them – I felt that finally I’ve found the goal of my life: making them happy and paying attention to them – helping for them if they need it and to be there when they want me, to wipe away their tears if they are sad. Yes, yes, I want this, I’ve decided, even if I die for this. I wanted them to be happy. How good it is that our wise God gave us two arms – now I could embrace them both. Maybe they sensed what was going on inside of me, cuz they hugged me as firmly as it was possible and they were whispering into my ear in stereo that they love me. And I melted and thought about their letter. It was always with me in my purse so I could take them with me every day no matter where life brings me.

In the moment of my orgasm – as I pressed against their chests and yelled their names – a teardrop ran down on my face from the harmony I felt and from the previous thoughts. The silvery little drop landed on Dave’s shoulder, on his phoenix, while I was hugging Martin desperately and he embraced both of us. Usually you don’t know where you’ll find harmony, the feeling that you’re resonating together with life’s rhythm. I found this in my two loves’ arms.

They pulled away gently. Maybe they felt what was going on inside. Since the hospital such things touched me deeper. Did I reassess my life? Or I’ve turned into a softy? One was sure: the things that’d happened to me had a huge effect on me. I don’t know what I would have done, if I had to leave them – if they could never touch me again, if I could never kiss them anymore. And the thought frightened me that this still can come true. They can get bored of me – although they love me now. They can find someone else, who’s better, prettier, more clever and charming than me. Thinking about this my tears started flowing again – without a voice. And I’ve promised myself that I’ll bury this thought deep inside of me.

But Dave was very good in the language we call ‘bodylanguage’ and he had such intuitions which others didn’t have. Not that he said anything – he just looked into my eyes and in those beautiful eyes there was everything from genesis to the end of the days. I saw myself there too… in the middle. In the middle of Dave’s world. How can this be, I asked him with my eyes. Until now I’d have put myself at the end of that line. I thought that Jen, Jack, Rosie, the Depeche Mode or Martin is there in the middle… Then what was this now? Why? It can’t be. I can’t be this important to him. He’d put me in front of Martin too? He can’t love me more! They deserve each other better. Cuz who am I? Just a little Hungarian fan. Nothing extra – and my past ain’t that clear either… although if I think none of us has a simple past. But even if it’s like that!

But I had to believe. His look was clear and open. He wanted me to see this then he slowly closed his eyes, like when someone closes the telescope of an observatory. He let me see this much and I knew that this was just the momentary stage in his world – just like everyone else’s his was changing constantly too. But my heart sank from the thought that in his beautiful eyes I could see nothing else reflecting but myself. I looked at him and I told him without words that I understood what he wanted to show. It dawn on me just now how special Dave was. I thought that until now I’d been seeing his figure like some kind of a hero, but no: he really was a special man. This trust – as he let me look into his soul – moved me.

Martin’s moves distracted my thoughts as he slowly crawled off of us and lay onto the bed.

“Did I interrupt some thought-reading between you two?” he joked.

“Exactly” Dave said and quickly got up to go to the bathroom.

“Sorry” Mart said with his boyish smile “And what was it about?”

“About love my friend, about love” Dave called from the bathroom.

I smiled and bent my head onto Mart’s chest as I nestled closer to him. He embraced my back with one hand. My face turned to the bathroom.

“And what’s the conclusion?”

“Love is a very good thing. Sometimes it hurts, but basically it’s a wonderful thing” I noted. Martin couldn’t see my sad smile as I was following Dave’s movements through the open bathroom door. He washed his face with cold water. My eyes wandered on his perfect naked body, but this time I didn’t see the sex-god in him – now I saw Him. The “sensitive being”, who went through so much things and he’s still here. And I’m here too. Both of us had faced death. For a moment I was wondering whether he let me take a look into his soul because of this, or because something else…

Dave came back but he didn’t sit next to us, he stepped to the open window and lit a cigarette. It seemed that something came into his mind – he seemed restless. He was standing there for a while now and I was watching him. Martin was breathing smoothly next to me. As I looked up I saw that he fell asleep from one minute to the other. He was tired. I carefully sat up and looked back at Dave. He was standing there motionless, exhaling the smoke. I’ve decided I’ll join him. Slowly I got out of bed. Luckily Martin didn’t wake up. I stepped behind the naked Dave and gently hugged his waist, sliding my palms onto his tummy as I kissed his tattooed back.

“Tell me what makes you uneasy.”

“Nothing, nothing. I don’t want to bother you with my problems. There’s nothing wrong – it’s just that Jen acts so strange. She didn’t bring up the topic since then, but I sense trouble here. And I was thinking about the tour – I mean how I’ll take it. It’s very tiring now – although it doesn’t show and I haven’t mentioned it to Martin – it’s hard for me.”

I pulled him closer, but didn’t say a word. If he has to choose between me and his family, it’s obvious which one he’ll chose. The question was when this point will come. My silence was trailed.

“See? Now you’re careworn too” he looked at me “And what’s on your mind, kitty?”

“I was thinking about the same things like you” I answered softly “About the day when you’ll have to choose.”

“To choose?”

“Yes. Between your family and me. It’s clear that you’ll have to choose them. I know that this relationship can’t last forever with the two of you. Your family is more important than me, I know this well” I shrugged while I was resting my head on his shoulder-blade “and it’s natural. You made me incredibly happy even if I can be with you just until the tour ends.”

Dave didn’t answer just smiled bitterly. Yes, that moment’ll come when he’ll have to choose. But not yet.

“Please, don’t talk about this, I don’t want to think about this now” he closed his eyes.

“Alright. Let’s go and have a shower. I’m sticky from the choc and… from something else too” I smiled.

He softly laughed then turned around to kiss me tenderly “Alright. I hope you liked the sweet pampering.”

“Oh yes. It was delicious.”

“Well it was close to eating that box of Godiva off of you, but in that case Curly wouldn’t have interrupted us” he smiled at me.

“Then… we’ll make up for that later” I winked at him then pulled him with me into the bathroom. I smiled when he nuzzled to me from the back when I let the water run, bending slightly forward. He embraced me, but he had no “bad” intentions this time. He was massaging my shoulders gently. I let him do so and I totally relaxed under his hands while he worked along my back.

After the shower we quietly came out of the bathroom. Dave looked at Mart, who meanwhile turned onto his tummy and hugged a pillow to him.

“He’s so sweet” he said. I looked at him. I’ve never heard him say that Martin was sweet and this made me smile.

“Yes, just like you when you’re sleeping” I noted.

“What? You’re watching me when I’m asleep?” he pretended to be shocked.

“It occurs, yes…” I smiled and let him embrace and kiss me. Then we nestled ourselves next to Martin and I fell asleep resting my head on Dave’s chest – I still got tired soon after my illness.

\---

I woke up when I felt that someone was caressing my side. I slowly and sleepily opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Dave sleeping. I slightly turned my head to the side and I faced the softly smiling Martin as his fingers were doing their little circles on my hip. Is it a wonder that I felt dizzy? It was a very pleasant thing to waking up for this.

“Good morning” I murmured and let my head fall back onto the pillow. I was collecting some strength to turn around.

“Morning” he kissed my shoulder-blade and his fingers slid onto my tummy – continuing drawing their circles onto my skin.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Hm. Yes. But my waking up was better” he smiled.

“I won’t disagree with this.”

I felt his fingers stop just under my breasts then they turned back. My skin broke out in goose bums when he let them run around my bellybutton and then they started to move downwards.

“What’re you up to, Marty?” I murmured.

“Nothing bad, you can trust me.”

“Maart…” I moaned faintly.

“Yes?”

“Now I can’t…”

“You don’t have to, darling. Just feel.”

I closed my eyes and I enjoyed his touches - as he slowly passed my bellybutton and moved downwards like an explorer. An absurd question popped up in my head.

“Mart…”

“Hm?”

“Would you tell me a story?”

“What do you want to hear?”

“Your first experience…” I said faintly. I don’t know why but somehow I wanted to know how such a sex-god had started his studies. Cuz he was a professional, I had no doubts about it. He laughed and stopped his caresses for a moment. I felt the pleasant warmth radiating from his hand.

“Well it was a long-long while ago, kitty. And it’s a clumsy story. You really want me to bore you with it instead enjoying what I’d have to give you?”

“You wouldn’t bore me” I answered while I put my hand onto his and led it lower “And you can torture me while I’m listening to your tale…”

“Well” he began and his fingers started moving again “I was seventeen. I just fled from home to go to a party.”

“You fled?” I moaned my question.

“Yes. You know when it was about parties…”

I giggled. Well yes, Martin is just Martin.

“So I was at a party and I was already tipsy a little. And there was that girl – she wasn’t from England and I could see it on her. Creole skin, long straight black hair. It was refreshing after the Basildon-chicks, you can guess. She was older than me with one or two years. Of course she’d noticed that I was watching her. I had my own style even then, so it wasn’t a big task to notice me.”

I giggled again, but I immediately gasped for air as his fingers finally found their destination and he started rubbing me slowly – he took his time with me. “And…” I sighed and felt that desire spread in my body again “… what’d happened?”

“Huh, I can’t remember clearly how we’d started chatting next to a beer” he shrugged, but went on and kissed my shoulder “Things just happened one after the other. At the end I just realised that I was in a totally unfamiliar room with a totally strange but beautiful girl. You remind me on her a bit – she was stubborn, she knew what she wanted, but she let me do things in my own way too. She would have let me do whatever I wanted to do with her.

“And what did you do to her?” I panted.

“First I shyly kissed her, but she encouraged me. I returned her kisses more fiercely and I slowly undressed her. Then my hand started doing the exact same thing like I’m doing with you now…” he whispered in a pervert tone, which I loved “Then after a while I did this to her…” and he slid his fingers lower – right into me. “Uhh… she was waiting for me this wet too…” he moaned.

I was grabbing the edge of the pillow hard as I choked down a big moan.

“It was so maddening to hear as she was moaning, that I made this to her. She was like a wildcat. She nearly ripped my T-shirt off. She scratched my skin. In return I bit into her neck” he said and leant to my neck and bit it. I had to moan from this, my nails were already digging hard into Mart’s flesh. I felt his fingers slide deeper into me.

“She was moaning too. She screamed my name” he licked my earlobe “Then she was begging me to fuck her… and I don’t have to tell you that I was quite ready to feel the wet hotness around my throbbing dick too…” he lifted one of my thighs so he could reach me from behind and he pulled out his fingers as he led his rock-hard cock to my entrance. I felt him softly touching my skin and he was moving his member there, torturing me…

“Please, Martin!” I moaned “Come! Please…”

But he made me wait. He licked along my neck, but I didn’t want to wait for him anymore. I pushed him slightly away then reached back to grab his jaw. I pulled him closer to my face.

“If you don’t fuck me right now…” I whispered dangerously. I didn’t want his games this time. He was a bit surprised from my action, but he was smiling then he rammed his whole cock into me. I took him inside completely – which was something from me! I threw my head back and moaned towards the ceiling. Martin was fully aware of his size and he grinned evilly.

“This is for your tone you used.”

“Have you punished her too?” I moaned and let him open up me with his fingers so he was able to work easier as he slowly but firmly started plunging into me again.

“No… she was a good girl!” he bit into my shoulder and grabbed my left tit.

“Or you were a beginner and she didn’t want to say it” I added evilly and I knew that I’ll have to pay the prise for this. It’s cool, I thought, maybe he’ll want to prove the opposite…

But it seemed that he saw through my plan, cuz he laughed into my neck – which caused goose bumps again – and he leant to my ear.

“Do you want me to… punish you? This is why you’re saying such things, kitty? You like me if I’m… rough with you?” he stressed ‘rough’ and he really rammed roughly into me. I cried out from the pain’s and pleasure’s specific mixture.

“Don’t spare me Martie! Don’t you want to hear me screaming? Cuz I’d be happy to practise scales for you or I’d gladly sing arias too – like… an operatic singer….”

“You want to wake our baby-Dave up?” he chirped laughing. I had to laugh on this name too, but he didn’t let me giggle for too long. With another move he made me gasp for air again. He grabbed and held my waist firmly. His other hand stroked along my thigh “Answer me, Mia!”

From his harsh and commanding tone I shivered. I really loved this Martin too. I couldn’t say no to him – just like for Dave.

“Yes” I cried out faintly.

“Alright…” he ran his right along my tummy then grabbed my hip painfully so he could hold me in place “You like it when I’m rough with you? Hm?” he harshly moved his hips forward once.

“Yes!!” I screamed loudly.

“Hmmm… then you’ll love this…” he moaned with a little mock in his tone. I loved the way he was playing his role!

He pulled out his hand from under me and let my thigh go. His left hand slid onto my tummy to hold me, while he whipped my long hair around his other wrist. He pulled my head backwards. I groaned again and felt the muscles in my neck straining. I gulped one and waited for his next step. He started moving deep inside of me. I couldn’t know when the next move’d come and this drove me crazy. This desultoriness and power he showed me… Oh, god! And meanwhile I felt his fingers pulling my hair too. I closed my eyes and I moaned by every strong push. I felt him penetrating me with his whole length which made me nearly scream again. It was a good game with my senses, but it wasn’t that feral wildness I wanted.

“Come on Martie… you can do this better!” I groaned. Of course this was very good too, but I wanted more! I wanted him to lose his head, I wanted to have his purple marks on my body, I wanted to feel his strength!

“Do you want it harder? Hm?” he panted into my ear in a deep and hoarse voice.

“Yes! Fuck me as hard as you can! I want to feel pain too! Come on! Don’t hold back! Lose your head! Please, Marty!” I moaned as I was grabbing the sheet and the pillow with my sweaty fingers.

“As you wish, kitty!” and he started such a race that I couldn’t breathe for a moment and I could just moan loudly. His fingers dug into my skin and he sank his teeth into my shoulder and neck.

“That’s… it! More!” I screamed. His hips moved forward with a crazy force. My slim body was shaking from his thrusts, but he was holding me in place – with a nearly painful grip. He was nearly raping me. I’d never seen him like this and I was enjoying it immensely that he was doing this to me. I soon started screaming and I couldn’t control my voice.

Dave shortly grunted in his sleep.

“What the hell are you doing?!” he growled angrily on a sleepy tone as he tried to shout down the noises – which were my yells and Martin’s grunts.

“I’m raping… our… kitty!” Martin answered during a particularly hard thrust which made me scream. Again.

“She asked for it?” he looked up with his sleepy eyes.

“Yesssssss!” Curly bit down onto my shoulder again and grabbed my hip even harder.

“And couldn’t you do it a bit quieter?” Dave murmured drowsily.

“NO!!!!” I screamed with a contorted face and closed eyes “OH! MARTIN!! I’M NEARLY THERE! MARTIN!!!”

“Martin, how can you do this to her? Look at our poor velvet cat – every hair on her body stands up! And her tail’s size doubled” our singer broke out.

“Not my tail is that biiiiiiiiiiiiig…” my sentence ended in a scream then it died away while I took a breath and screamed again, but this time from joy.

Dave laughed on my sentence, but somehow now I couldn’t pay attention to it. I was busy with that “double-sized tail”, which made me come in that very moment when Martin grabbed my haggard breast again. My back arched and a few sweat drops ran down along my spine. Martin’s other hand helped me a bit with rubbing my clit and this just made my orgasm come in bigger waves. I groaned an enormous one as I was grabbing that unlucky sheet and I think within a minute I felt Martin’s hot seed shot into me too. I collapsed tiredly and Martin followed me. I moaned once more then I was just gasping for air quietly.


	31. Chapter 31

31.

 

“It’s unbelievable how much energy you have. What’s up Mart? The stage isn’t enough for you?” Dave asked and laughed at his friend, who couldn’t answer.

“Dave… you… are the same…” I panted. Martin was still in me and I was still throbbing around him. Curly just growled as a yes. Somehow I managed to turn my head to him. “Thank you Marty…” I whispered close to his lips.

“You just have to ask for it, kitty…” and the softly kissed me. After our lips parted I turned my head back to Dave, who was watching us lying on his tummy.

“And did you make her come?” I asked smiling as I returned to the previous conversation about Mart’s first night. He laughed into my neck. Dave was watching us confused.

“She was nearly crying” he said with a smug grin. He was very proud of himself. Looking at Dave’s confused face I laughed.

“Would you tell me what you’re talking about?” he asked frowning.

“You’d missed the first part of our conversation” I giggled.

“What kind of conversation?”

“About Martin’s first sexual experience…”

“Jerking off?” he burped in. I was laughing hard for a minute before I could answer.

“No, not that. About his first night with a woman” I wiped away a teardrop while Martin was murmuring something disapprovingly into my neck.

“Oh that Creole girl back in Basildon? He always tells that story to soften up girls...”

“Uh, so this is like a competition between you two? I’d share the faith of those girls too?”

“Kitty, we are men” Dave smiled “But we won’t show you off, cuz in the end someone will steal you from us. You’re our secret.”

I smiled. I felt as Martin slid out of me, which made me sigh. Curly planted a kiss between my shoulder-blades then whispered into my ear that he loves me. I squinted at him with a smile. I stretched my body turning onto my back and I purred satisfied. I saw that Dave was looking at my revealed ribs with a sad sparkle in his eyes. This whole thing had lasted just for a moment, but I didn’t care. I’ll put on weight.

“Hmm… what’s the program for today? When’ll the concert start? When can I sing? Or can I sing at all?”

“Why do you even ask it?” asked Dave “Anton wants to release the last concert on DVD, but we said no. We wanted you to be on the record. So you have to sing.”

“Wow! Really?” I looked first at him then at Martin, who was just nodding “This is nice of you.”

“Dave, then you’ll have to prepare yourself after we choose the place where you want to do a bigger party than in Copenhagen.”

“Yeah I know, this was the deal with Anton. If we don’t do a better party than that, then we’ll release that gig on DVD” he added when he saw my questioning look.

“You were having a debate with Anton because of me when I was… lying in the hospital?”

“It was rather Dave who had a debate with him” said Martin “But we want to see you on the official release in any case” he smiled.

“We should choose a European gig” Dave mused “We’d already lost the American market. The base is still in Europe.”

“We’ll go back after one and half a week anyway” Mart noted.

I was listening to their conversation quietly as I turned onto my tummy.

“Alright, I’ll think about this. I’ll choose the place in a few days time then I’ll tell it to Anton to prepare the things he wants.”

Mart just nodded and slowly sat up. I followed him.

“And now?” I asked from the guys.

“Well, I think… I’ll go to swim” Mart stated.

“I’ll take a shower” I nodded.

“And I’ll eat something” Dave winked.

After we all realised what we wanted, we laughed and went to do our own businesses. Martin went down to swim, I possessed the bathroom and Dave ordered from the room service.

\---

By the time I’ve finished and stepped out of the bathroom in a fluffy bathrobe, Dave was sitting in the middle of the bed, eating and flipping the channels.

“Can I join you?” I asked “I’m a bit hungry.”

“It’s good if you’re hungry! Come!” he patted the sheet next to him “We have to feed you up quickly, kitty” he noted and offered me the tray, which was full of goodies, but somehow my hunger was still missing.

“Look at you! You don’t like skinny women? Unbelievable!” I said and took a banana and started nibbling it.

“No, I don’t like hugging bones” he winked, but he turned back to me when he saw me eating the fruit. I looked back at him questioningly.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing” he grinned then bit from his sandwich.

“Dave, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Maybe it’s prickly for you a bit, but… haven’t you had… back then… times after the rehab when it was hard to eat?”

“Yep. It occurred” he answered shortly and I knew he didn’t want to speak more about this. He was concentrating impassively onto his food and I haven’t said a word after this.

We were eating quietly and after I’ve got dressed I went back to my room to take my pills. On the corridor I met Andy, who greeted me with a smile – and he even gave me a hug too!

“What do you say, is it okay if I go for a walk? It’d be nice to go shopping a bit” I asked smiling.  
“Sure you can go. We have to go just in the late afternoon and now it’s barely past nine” he checked his watch.

“Cool. Then would you be so kind to tell Dave or Mart that I went to clear my head?”

“Sure. But don’t go too far!” he winked.

“Relax, I won’t get lost” I continued my way towards the elevator.

“Mia!”

“Yes?” I turned back questioningly.

“It’s good to see you healthy again” he noted.

“Thanks. It’s good to see you too” I smiled at him and like cats usually do, I started my lonely journey.

\---

I was walking on the streets in a happy mood as I was discovering the neighborhood. It was good to go out. The best thing was that I could walk on the streets freely, no one was following me, like it was with the guys. If we went somewhere together, we always had to do certain actions so it didn’t turn out who I was. I thanked God that I’m not a star, but I can be with Martin and Dave.

I was watching the shop-windows quietly, my hands in my pockets. I entered some shops, but I didn’t buy too much. For what occasion and with what purpose? I just needed new pieces of clothes, cuz there were some which I couldn’t wear anymore. Yes… the guys tore them off of me. But who cares? I bought a few trousers, an elegant but simple deep-purple silk-dress and some lingerie. And I was ready with the shopping.

It was good to clear my head a bit. I sat in a café and I was just listening to the background noises, the foreign speaking – which I could have understood cuz it was in English, but now I let the words pass, I was paying attention just to the tones and people. The bustle was big. This is Las Vegas. I saw a few DM posters on the streets, which were advertising the tonight show, and I had to smile from this. It was strange sitting there, letting life just pass by me for a few moments. It was as if I wasn’t part of this world. And it was true – I didn’t belong here. And I didn’t belong to the boys’ world either. I was stuck somewhere between the two. Cuz we had to keep my existence in secret, I’ve left my home, , no one knows where I am… my sister and mother are the only living members of my family, but I haven’t spoken to them ages ago… It’s as if… I didn’t exist at all.

This solitude was strange as it came on me. Probably the near-death experience was still working in my subconscious. I barely could remember that experience. Just the pain came back. It was interesting watching the emotions inside me. Indeed… does anyone love me beside the boys? My sister hates me with a reason – I screwed up. My mother is on her side – like always. I don’t have anyone else. Just one or two shallow friendships, but nothing else. Why didn’t I let anybody close to me? And why was it different with the boys? Or I didn’t let them close either? Is there still a barrier between me and them? Maybe I can’t give myself fully to two men, although I love them very much. Am I really a lonely cat, going where life throws her about? Still trying hoping that it’ll be better, and next time maybe she’ll be able to slip through the gaps? Cuz here I am. A grown woman. 30 is closer than 20 and I have no husband, no family, no children, no permanent home, no permanent job – cuz I know being a vocalist will last just until the end of the tour. And what should I do after that? Okay, I still have my flat, someone has an eye on it. But beyond that?

I felt like I was standing there naked and without a clue in the middle of the world. I knew that Dave and Mart cared for me, but the question came into my mind for how long? What’s the guarantee that they won’t get bored of me soon and they won’t kick me out? Then I’ll be here again with these same emotions… But it doesn’t matter whom I’ll be with, I’ll always feel like a lonely cat. There was a place where I didn’t feel like this – when I was in their arms every bad thing was far away. I had to realise that until now I was never truly in love with anyone, I felt this for the first time in my life. And I was in love with two men! It’s insane that I can’t do anything in the same way as other people do.

After my slow walking I was watching the shop-windows again and then I spotted it! It was beautiful, elegant and desired. I knew that I had to have it. I checked on my cell how much money I had on my credit card then I stepped into the shop. The shop assistant immediately was around me – it’s insane that they like just skinny women here! When I told him what I wanted, his jaw fell onto the floor.

“Miss, it was the best choice, your partner’ll love it. Where can we send it?”

I was walking slowly again, and this time I was searching for the right shop-window. If I bought something for one of my loves, the other has to get something beautiful too, which suits him. It was getting hotter, but I didn’t give up, I was just walking and walking like Rabbi Löw’s golem on Cracow’s streets. Finally recognition flickered in my eyes in front of a window – I knew it was perfect! I went in and was over with the shopping in a minute. Here a woman helped me, who was nodding knowingly when I chose the present. She said yes when I asked her whether they could deliver it within an hour. I nodded too and waved for a cab – I was very tired at the time I’ve got under the shower. I lay down onto the bed in my most beautiful and newest lingerie and I was waiting for the guys. They came soon.

First Martin galloped into my room, cuz he was the first one I’ve bought a present.

“Kitty, this is beautiful, thank you!”

“I knew you’ll love it, Marty.”

He was holding it in his hands, he brought it into my room – Johnny Cash’s guitar.

“Thank you, thank you, kitty!” he nuzzled to me.

I couldn’t stop a grin – he was so sweet! They could buy anything to themselves, but maybe they got presents rarely and just on compulsory occasions.

Dave didn’t run into the room, he just stopped in the door. He knew why I bought it. Black suit, black shirt, tie and shoes. I heard Martin gulp a big one and he probably heard me do the same thing.

“Oh you god” Mart moaned.

“Personally” he grinned with his little smug smile then sat next to me onto the bed “Thank you, Mia, you guessed right what’d make me happy. They are beautiful” he showed his hand – on one of his long fingers a new ring was glistening next to the usual one. He was wearing the matching necklace in his neck, and there was a similar pin on his tie and the cuff-links suited his suit perfectly. It was a strange alloy – although these gifts were made of gold, the light was glistening on them silvery. In the ring, the cuff and the needle there were sapphires – they flashed with a green light, like my love’s eyes.

“I’m glad that I could make you happy” I sat up smiling. From this move the top of my silk robe slid apart a bit, although I was very aware of it. Dave’s gaze wandered downwards a bit then came back to my face. Oh god, even just from this look my stomach flicked and my mouth went dry. I felt that desire appeared in my eyes again.

“Uhmm… I see the air is hot here, but I wouldn’t bear not to try out this guitar now” Mart cleared his throat “Would it be a big problem, if I let you two alone?” he stood up holding the guitar as if it was a treasure. It was one. The property of a legend became the property of another legend…

“No” Dave simply said with his wonderfully lustful mouth and air became thin for me from this one word and from the way he said it. I think the aesthetic sight amazed me again, like many times before when I was just watching my dark panther. I licked my mouth and was watching as he reached towards me with his right hand, where his new ring was glistening too, and he touched the skin of my collarbones with his fingertips then he let them ran on the side of my neck. I closed my eyes and sighed wobbly from the delicate stimuli. I haven’t even heard when Mart had left the room.

“Jesus, I’m alone with a wild animal!” I moaned.

“And this big cat will now thank for his little kitty for the nice gifts” Dave purred into my ear “How else he could do it than nuzzling to her?” and as I was lying on the bed, he nuzzled to me with his whole body “Or little Mia wants me to fuck her hard in the wilderness today? Answer me!” he asked.

But it wasn’t easy, cuz he was biting hard the skin of the hole between my neck and collarbones. One bite, one lick, one kiss, one bite, one lick, one kiss. He was doing this for two whole minutes at the time when I was able to press something through my teeth.

“You’re sweet David, dressing up for me like this. You knew, you knew what I was thinking.”

“I knew, sweetheart. I saw your look not just once when I was wearing this suit and you’d left your gaze on me. I love you. I’d do much more for you than just giving you a nice packing for your present” he said and grabbing my hand he placed it onto his groin. Such a big sigh escaped my mouth that he had to laugh “You want me this much, kitty?”

“Even when I was just buying your presents and imagined you in this suit, my knees went weak.”

“Oh this is very flattering” he continued as he placed his kisses and bites higher on my neck, while his long fingers pressed my hand harder between his legs “And… what novelty do we have here today?” he sucked my earlobe gently. His index finger stroked along the edge of my silk robe, right above my breasts. Then he slid it under the hem and loosened the robe a bit with his skilled finger – now he could take a peek under the robe. “Uh, kitty, I’m not the only one here who packed the present nicely” he moaned with a dark look “Jesus, Mia… this is new right? I haven’t seen it yet and… jeez, it’s fucking hot on you! I have to be careful with it, sadly I can’t rip it off of you…” he opened my robe with a sudden movement and he grabbed my breasts greedily. We didn’t hear the knocking at the door.

I moaned faintly cuz his beautiful hands were still grabbing me through my bra. I felt his breath on my throat as he looked up and he bent to my mouth with a dark look.

“It’s open, come in” Dave said then stood up and I pulled my robe together. Andy stepped into the room.

“Dave, I just brought some sheet music for Mia so she can practice, Mart said it and…”

“Alright Andy, give them to her” Dave was still smiling. I reached my hand for the papers and my robe started to live on its own – it decided to show my bra for Andy, whose face turned deep red, the papers slid out of his hand and he started stuttering.

“Alright Dave, stop it! Don’t play with him!” I whispered angrily towards Dave.

“Thank you Andy for nipping in” he said and nearly laughed out loud. Andy withdrew hastily and fled from the room. Dave was on me again with one jump.

“Why can’t you leave him alone?” I asked thinking of Andy “How many times will he have to run from me blushing and confused?” I looked at him pouting as he was pinning me to the bed.

“Oh come on, Mia! He knows that we’re just joking with him” he shrugged then disappeared from over me. First I didn’t know where he has gone, but when I sat up, I saw that he was quickly kicking off his black shoes and socks “By the way it started back in the 80s. He got used to it” he stood up and started unbuttoning his suit slowly then he put it onto the back of a chair. I knew that he was torturing me with this, but I didn’t say a word. I rather slid upwards on the bed then propped my back with some pillows. I looked into his eyes as I loosened the belt of the silk robe, so he could take a better look of my new lingerie.

“And is this eatable?” he asked with piercing eyes, taking one of the straps of my chocolate-coloured bra into his mouth.

“No-ho… But if I had known that you wanted to eat choc again, I would have put some at least into my bra.”

“It’s okay, sweetie, I’ll eat the thing under it…” he growled and pulled the strap downwards with his teeth. Slowly, very slowly. I felt the silky fabric sliding down my skin and David’s hot breath and even hotter hands, which started to discover the discrete rhinestones on my panties. He reached under the silky fabric with his fingertips to feel my naked skin underneath. I sighed quietly and felt my nipples hardening. I licked my dry lips, my whole body was covered with goose bumps from the soft touches. My left hand was resting on his right upper arm, while my right was scratching his nape for a few moments after he successfully pulled down one of my bra’s strings. Then he bent over me to kiss my right shoulder too. Now he used his left hand to pull the other string down. He was so close to me that I could clearly see the throbbing veins on his straining neck and I could feel his brown skin’s heat. I couldn’t stop myself! While my left slid onto his back – stroking along the black shirt – I lifted my head slightly to kiss his hot skin. His delicious scent filled my nose. I sniffed into his neck again and again. I knew that I’d never forget David’s scent. He was pulling me like a magnet and every sniff from his fragrant body turned me on even more. I felt my inner muscles straining and waiting for him to join my body again. I started licking his skin following my nose and I felt his muscles straining. I felt the waiting in them. They were waiting for the moment when they can embrace me.

For a few moments he didn’t do anything, he was just enjoying as I was kissing his neck. My free hand passed his propping arm and I reached up to slowly unbutton his shirt. After every button I softly bit his neck, sucking his delicate skin gently. The opening shirt was tickling my upper body more and more. After the last button was opened too, my fingertips gently stroked along from his neck, through his chest until I reached his bellybutton. He moaned quietly from this.

“Mia, sweetie, loosen my belt. But slowly… very slowly. I want to enjoy every second of your fingers’ delicate touches.”

And I obediently did what I was told. I loosened his belt with soft moves. When I pulled the zipper down he sighed. When I ran my finger along the hem of his boxers he started growling quietly. When I carefully grabbed him with my hand he was breathing heavily. And he cried out loud when finally he could feel his treasure in my mouth. He was still over me. It totally fell out when I moved downwards between his legs. I just realised that my face was in line with his rock-hard member and I had to take him into my mouth. I think his scent was the faulty one here – it made my hormones dance in heaven, screaming after Dave and I just wanted to touch, to grab, to caress, to suck, to lick and to bite his skin. The only problem was that I wanted to do these things in the same time, but because it was beyond my abilities, I had to choose.

I was trapped under his body. As I looked up, I saw his abdomen-muscles strain, cuz I was still caressing him. Bending my head backwards I saw that his hands were shaking more and more as he was propping himself on them. I smiled and took him into my mouth again. Deeply. I’ve got a faint sigh for this then another moan when I gently bit along his whole length. My fingers were scratching his tummy and butt then my left hand slid right behind his hardening member to massage his balls too. Here he cried out and his hands nearly failed him, but he didn’t collapse at the end.

“Mia!!” he moaned, but I didn’t take mercy on him. After a few moments I stopped the pampering, cuz I needed my hand to unhook my bra, reaching behind my back. Meanwhile as I lifted my back and looked up at him, I saw him watching me. The bra was finally out of the way. I stroked my breasts a few times then with an evil grin I slid upwards a bit. I was holding one breast with my left hand while my right reached up and pulled him closer by his divine ass, I took him between my breasts. His eyes were focused on one point – but first he didn’t know which breast of mine he should watch. Finally he chose the middle way. He was moaning loud as I was holding his treasure between my breasts and I helped with my hand too. He moaned once more, but before he could release the little evils, he stopped my hand and took his rock-hard member into his and he rubbed his cock to my hard nipple. Now it was my turn to sigh faintly. And when he slid his other hand under me and sank his long fingers deep into me, I was at the brink of my orgasm.

“No! Dave! Not yet!” I moaned grabbing his wrist and somehow I managed to slide upwards until I was facing him again. I skilfully got rid off my thong. He let me do so. I was surprised a bit, cuz I thought he was turned on too much to stop now. I took his hand, which was teasing me between my legs a few moments ago and I took his wet fingers into my mouth. He growled and pushed his lips against mine immediately so he could kiss me fiercely. I was returning it for a long while until we cooled down a bit then I took his blushed face between my hands.

“What do you want, kitty?” he asked right away when he saw me biting down on my lip.

“Maybe… could you continue the thing from yesterday, which…” here I shivered even from the thought “…which Martin had… ehm… interrupted?”

“You want me to lick you? Wherever I can reach you? You want me to pour chocolate on you? Hmm, kitty?” he asked teasing me and his tone got lower and lower willingly, cuz he knew that he can drive me crazy with this. I whispered a faint yes to him, but he went on “Then what do you want me to do with my tongue?”

“Dave, oh no, Dave!” I moaned when he opened his mouth and gave me a show with his tongue what he could do to me and he led his hands down on my neck and breasts, moving downwards on my body. I was staring at his middle finger mesmerised. Three words were shouting in my head: fucking long fingers! Fucking fingers… I couldn’t wait to… Here my thoughts were interrupted cuz he stood up and left me there. He ordered the goodies on his cell. He wanted to eat them off of me.

I was suffering there and he knew it! I stretched on the bed – now I couldn’t relax anymore. I closed my eyes and started caressing my body, thinking that he was doing it, imagining his hands, which were already doing this previously. Although my eyes were closed, I knew he was watching me while he was speaking on the phone. When one of my hands finally reached between my legs, while the other was squeezing my breast, and I moaned, I heard that he stopped in the middle of his sentence then he went on quickly and urged them to bring the ordered things quickly. He hung up and came closer. He was watching me mesmerized and I knew how much he liked to watch me as I was playing with myself. When my fingers disappeared in my body and I yelled his name, I saw that the experienced man’s mouth opened slightly and he moaned as he took himself into his hand.

“Mia, Mia, do you want… us… to watch each other or do you want me to continue what I’ve stopped?”

A voice in my head was screaming for him to continue, but I silenced it and I decided that I’ll torture the both of us. “Come… here, but… ah… don’t touch me!” I moaned as I bent my head backwards, still rubbing myself, imagining that he was doing this to me.

I felt the bed sank next to my legs as he sat down. I looked at him. He still had his opened trousers on and his long fingers were moving on his shaft maddeningly. The light flickered on his new ring. First he was watching my hand then he looked up with his burning gaze into my eyes. I saw on him that he was suffering so I opened my legs wider, giving him an even better view and I slid another finger into me and I had to cry out from this again.

“Jesus, Mia, I… I… I can’t take this anymore… I… Mia… please!”

I smiled at him evilly “What do you want, my love?”

“Let me… touch you!”

“No, Dave! You wanted to watch me. Here you are, watch it, Dave. See how wet my pussy is? It’s waiting just for you… sweetie…”

Passion took mastery over him and he pinned my hands over my head and he was in me right away. He was fighting for air, rattling “Mia, I’ll fuck you, you little bitch, so hard that you won’t be able to walk!” he moaned.

“More, Dave, more! Dirtier… please… more!”

At this moment the room service knocked at the door, but Dave just yelled out to put the tray down in front of the door and if he was already there, he should put the ‘do not disturb’ sign onto the handle. He didn’t stop the thrusts even for a moment and I screamed in a staccato voice. My climax hit me as suddenly as the volcanic eruption hit Mount Serrant. I was still floating with the wings of my orgasm in a happier place, when I felt him cum too. He growled an enormous one when he shot into me, grabbing my shoulders hard.

“You little witch… you did this willingly, right?” he panted into my ear. I stroked along his back.

“Of course! Punish me, if you want… I was a bad girl, wasn’t I?”

“You were…” he bit my earlobe.

“Uh-oh, I’ll end in handcuffs?” I smiled putting a kiss onto his shoulder.

“Hmm, it’s a great idea, I call Mart to bring one for us!”

“Dave, don’t say it, oh, no! You? Uh-oh what’ll happen here again?!”

“Don’t have high hopes, honey. Martin has a new love!”

“What the…? But…” my mouth twisted.

“No, don’t alarm yourself, kitty. I think your present was too good for him. He’ll play the guitar for hours – I wouldn’t be surprised if he went into a studio! You know kitty, you’ve guessed his secret desire. He always wanted to buy one of Johnny Cash’s guitars, but he had no time for that yet… So I’ll call him for the handcuffs, but…”

“But?” I nuzzled to him and looked into his smiling eyes innocently.

“But I think you have to with me.”

“It’s not a problem, Dave. Handcuffs aren’t important. Love me without them. I love you” I nuzzled closer to him and I saw how grateful he was for this.

“Alright then don’t go anywhere. I bring the sweets” he winked then slid out of me – causing a “How can you do even this so sensually?” sigh from me – he put on his underwear, but he got rid off his black trousers and he walked to the door and opened it. Luckily no one was outside.


	32. Chapter 32

32.

 

I think he did the show for me when he bent down for the tray - his fine little ass towards me. I just wanted to scratch that gorgeous butt.

“Dave, honey, can’t you do it slower?” I asked wandering with my hungry eyes on his wonderful body. How can he do it that I want him nearly always? This’ll be a secret forever.

“Of course I can!” he grinned and slowed his steps even more as he started walking towards me. Suddenly I felt myself like a predator with its prey, which walks towards me from his free will, but I knew that I’ll be the victim here, not him…

When he was right there next to me, he started putting pieces of pineapple, blackberries, passion fruits and keshew nuts on me. He narrowed his eyes as he was eying me – within 3 minutes he finished the fruit-cat on me. I laughed when he was ready and I was able to take a peek on it, but he shushed me so that the masterwork couldn’t move.

“I knew that you’re a creative guy, but I didn’t know that you have this much talent…” I noted giggling.

“And you haven’t seen everything from me” he winked.

“Oh I have seen every part of you…” I licked the edge of my lips and I was suggesting that damned boxer to slide down from his hips – it was already dangerously low on his hipbones.

“No, not like that. I meant it from the inside” he put his hand onto his hip then with the other he reached for his cell.

“What’re you up to?”

“I take a pic” he said and stuck out the tip of his tongue.

“It’s not a good idea!” I protested and wanted to sit up, but he gently stopped me by my shoulder.

“Don’t be afraid, this is art!” he did something on his cell.

“But Dave, if someone sees this…”

“Relax. Just your tummy and a part of your tits’ll appear on the pic” he shushed me again and pushed the button to take a pic of the cat, which’s head was towards my breasts and its curly tail to… well yes, it was as if it was showing the right way between my legs.

“See? That was it” he put the cell away.

“And now you’ll eat it off of me?”

“Eat it off? No way! I have some other artworks – I’d rather do an exhibition. I bet a lot of people’d want to see you” he grinned evilly, but he was already chewing the cat’s kiwi ears and was eating the animal’s contours in a greedy way, until he reached its tail. Here he was willingly slow with eating the orange pieces, which’s juices – obeying to gravity – were slowly running down on my skin, but the drops couldn’t get too far, cuz with his skilled tongue Dave licked them off of my hot skin. “Hmmm… kitty, you’re literally sweet…” he glimpsed up at me with a sly grin. He finished eating my sister so he started licking me upwards. He licked along my tummy then was coming closer and closer between my breasts. His eyes were smiling.

“What’re you up to?” I smiled too, but I already saw from the corner of my eyes that his right hand reached for the bowl with the choc.

“They brought up so many yummy things, we don’t want to waste them…” he grinned, but for now he put the bowl just next to us, cuz he started softly stimulating my left nipple and he ran one hand on my side. I had to sigh from the feeling and I gently dug my fingers into his hair, keeping the eye-contact. “You don’t have to move, just lay still” he said as he poured the dark and thick chocolate onto my chest, tummy and between my legs “Yes, that’s it” he growled and bit down on his lip “And now… let me lick my dessert off of you” he leant over me. He began his sweet feast on my chest. I sighed and dug into his hair again, but he gently pushed my hands away and led them over my head. “You should rather grab the bars and enjoy the pampering” he looked up at me, licking the choc from his mouth. I grabbed the bars without a word “That’s it, nice kitty. You listen to the bigger cat…” he winked and bent back to my collarbone and started licking my skin slowly, moving towards my breasts. My toes were nearly cramping, when he – starting from down – reached closer to my hard and swollen nipple.

Here he decided to bite. Gently then harder and I nearly went insane from the feeling. I felt his whole weight on me, his bites, his hot and fragrant skin and his hot breath on my skin. I felt how hard he wanted me. I heard him murmuring in a low tone – he was whispering to me and said how tasty I was and that he loves me and it feels good being with me. And he asked me to love him.

I could just moan and repeat that I love him, while he was doing the same thing with my other breast, licking the taut tits nearly clean. He looked up at me and swallowed a big one. Our eyes locked for a minute and now he could not just hear but see from my eyes how much I love him. I saw that it felt good for him and it was as if he was a bit relieved as he sighed and bent back to my tummy, where the choc-path showed the way downwards. I felt the wet trail on my tummy, which he left behind with his tongue and I tried to calm my breathing, cuz after my illness sometimes air became thin for me and I couldn’t breathe normally.

While his mouth was by my bellybutton, his hands opened my legs gently. I knew what was going to happen if he gets lower, and even just knowing this my back strained and I moaned grabbing the bars harder. Reaching to my pubic bone, he looked up at me again to enjoy the sight while he slid his hands on my thighs.

“Come kitty, yum I’ll eat you up now!” and he started biting me softly. It was insane what he could do with his tongue! I quietly cried out when I felt his tongue not on me, but inside of me. I was grabbing the bars tightly, my body tensed and I asked him not to stop. But finally he stopped, just before I could cum.

“Not yet, kitty, not yet” he purred and straightened between my legs and pulled me up by my hands. I knew what he wanted – I saw it in his eyes. I slowly slid a bit backwards – sitting on my heels – and bent my head.

His body was smeary from the choc too, cuz he was laying on me not just once when the sweet choc was still running on me, and as I saw his member was covered too… I looked up at him playfully while the tip of my tongue barely touched his skin as I licked his whole length, tasting the chocolate. He was watching me, one hand fisting in my long hair, the other stroking my back, and he moaned from the sight. I knew that he found it maddening that our eyes were locked together, while one of my hands started working on him too. Then I broke the eye-contact and I could taste more choc in my whole mouth. For a moment I stopped and looked up at him. Our eyes met again and I saw the urging desire in his look.

“More” he moaned “more, kitty, more!”

“As you wish” I smiled licking the choc from my mouth, which made him groan again. I grabbed his shaft’s base with two fingers, took him deep into my mouth and I started moving on him in a passionate pace, licking his rock-hard and long shaft clean. He cried out loud and grabbed my hair harder. When my other hand’s fingers found his sensitive hurdle, which I’ve started torturing right away, he was nearly shouting. He needed just a few moments to live through the overwhelming power of climax. I felt him starting pulsating in my mouth and with a yell he released his burden, which was straining him from the inside until now and I was swallowing everything he had to give. The salty taste after the sweet felt good. Just a little champagne was missing here.

He was panting satisfied and stroked my face as he propped himself on his left hand.

“Mia, darling… when you do such things it always dawns on me… that I’ve said it right to Martin back then when I’ve told him that you’re a neat kitty…” he said still gasping for air.

“So you were talking about me behind my back?” I purred with a dark light in my eyes and with a half-smile I ran my hands upwards on his thighs and sides as I straightened up, so I was on the same level with him again.

“You know… something men do” he slid his hands automatically onto my hips.

“Uh-oh, this isn’t too nice… talking about someone behind her back… Tsk, tsk… You owe me big time, Dave” I put my arms into his neck.

“And now I should make up for some of my debts?”

“Yep… it’d be nice, cuz within two days your tongue-work on me was stopped twice” I sighed “This won’t be good like this…”

“You want me to finish it? You want me to lick you until you cum?” he asked and from the straight words I felt that my stomach flipped again. Desire rose in me quickly, cuz he’d left me at the brink of my orgasm earlier.

“Yes, Davie, this is the least you can do” I smiled temptingly “Meow…”

“Well okay…. Now you’ll see what I’m capable of…” he kissed me greedily, running his fingers along my back. After a minute he let me go and crawled by me so he could lay onto his back, resting his head on the pillows. “Crawl over me, kitty.” I obediently did what he asked me for and knelt over his hips. “No, no… come upwards…” he licked the edge of his mouth.

And then I realised what he wanted and from the recognition I shivered right away and felt my nipples hardening. When I’ve got close enough to him, he pulled me completely over him by grabbing my butt. As I looked down the sight made me dizzy.

“Hold on to something, sweetie…” he advised and I immediately grabbed the headboard’s bars. So he wanted to come here because of this… How thoughtful, I thought but in the next moment I gasped for air. “Well, kitty? Seatbelts on? Ciggies turned off? We’re taking off, captain Dave is speaking here…”

“Captain Dave, lick me! Please! I beg you…”

He was grinning widely under me then I wasn’t watching his face cuz the Gahan airline was taking me higher and higher on the “Seventh Heaven” line. First he touched my clit just with the tip of his tongue, but even from this small stimulus I felt myself getting wetter and a few sweatdrops started sliding down on my back. Then he began making circles on my aching nub, pulling me apart with his fingers so his tongue had more space for its maneuvers. With ragged breaths I moaned again and again.

“That’s it, oh yes, Dave! Please, more!” I whispered hoarsely. For a moment I looked down and saw him concentrating with closed eyes, fully empathized in what he was doing to me. My fingers turned white cuz I was grabbing the bars so hard when he started using his teeth for soft bites. He ran his fingers slowly and excitingly by the curve of my thighs. He gave me more and more pleasure. His lips, teeth and tongue were pampering my clit and his fingers – not just one – were inside of me and he was moving them slowly, bending them a bit so they could stimulate my G-spot. His other hand’s fingers were playing with me by my ass. I had no hope to survive this love-flight. I was screaming his and every saints’ names until the wild energy of satisfaction hit me hard. I collapsed next to him, my head bent down.

“Hmm... a little choc remained between your legs” he noted licking his fingers and looking at me.

I moaned from this again, and felt dizzy from the sight. He leant to me and kissed the glistening sweat drops off of my temple. “Thank you for choosing the Gahan airlines. We hope we can see you in the future again…” he breathed onto my skin.

“Oh yes… this airline grew to my heart…” I noted in a tired tone.

“I’m glad to hear that…” he smiled at me “Come, let’s take a shower, cuz we’re sticky from different things…” he licked the corner of his mouth quickly.

“Wait a minute, it won’t go that quickly. Embrace me and let us stick together” I laughed at the end.

“Alright, my dirty little cat” he smiled and embraced me.

“Thank you” I whispered looking into his eyes “Captain Dave, after how many flights can I get VIP card with economy flights and such preferences?”

“You already have one, darling. You’ve got it on that day when I made you mine on the top of your kitchen table. My darling” he kissed my face around.

“But back then you couldn’t have known that I’ll get it, am I right?” I asked holding his face between my hands after we finished the soft kiss “Or do you always have such cards in your pockets?”

“No. This is a very personal thing. I knew that you deserve it. You helped me, forgave me when I acted lick a prick, and you had enough courage to call me up into your flat. You knew exactly what I wanted from you. And you gave it to me. You deserved the card. And you needed just a few days to wrap me around your finger. I fell in love with you and I always want you by my side.”

“Jezz, David!”

“There’s no ‘jeez, David’! This is the truth” he caressed my shoulder.

“I’ll cry” I announced.

“I love you even when you cry, kitty – you should know this. You’re beautiful even then.”

“Even when I’m skinny like this?”

“I’ll stuff you” and when I started laughing he added “With choc too. Kitty-Mia, come, I wash you.”

“You? Oh yes! The touch of your fingers on my skin, your velvet palm when you stroke along my body…”

“Mia, my love…”

By the words “my love” my heart jumped. I let him help me up and lead me to the bathroom.  
“You really think I’m that? Your love?” I asked quietly standing in the shower cabin, while he was trying the water and I looked up at him shyly.

“I wouldn’t say it otherwise. I’ve learned on the hard way that I must not play with other people’s emotions. A lot of people abused my emotions and it fucking hurt. You know, I’m such a fucking sensitive guy. Which is just a push for someone, the same is like a kick for me. I love you Mia, I really do. I’m in love with you, yes. And don’t think that at the end of the tour I’ll let you go. I won’t. I thought I’ll go insane when you ended up in the hospital. I would have been able to choke my best friend and lover with one hand, for you. It was terrifying to see you lying there. And that you’d died and you came back… We two are special people – this binds us together too. We came back from a place others haven’t. We had reborn to love each other and the world, to give, cuz we got a new life from our creator.”

I think he set free fatal emotions in me with his words. This was the most beautiful love confession I’ve ever heard! It touched my soul and now my tears were flowing, but the water from above washed them away.

“David!” I cried out and I jumped into his neck, holding him as if my life was depending on it. I was sobbing into his neck without a voice.

“Don’t cry Mia, don’t cry. Be happy! Feel happy for life, for me. For Martin. Hey, everything’s alright, don’t sob, dear, don’t. Hey, don’t do this” he pulled me even closer with his strong arms. I was just sobbing and sobbing – maybe I tried to let my torturing feelings go this way. I don’t know for how long I was crying in his arms. The water was flowing unstoppable on us. In my head I lived through the things which had happened to me lately. Of course the ones in the hospital hurt me the most. My thoughts started reeling around this topic. Finally I pulled myself together to ask him the question I was thinking about. I slowly raised my head and let Dave’s left hand slide onto my wet face.

“I can’t remember clearly…” I started hoarsely and sniffed.

“What can’t you remember clearly?”

“The things I’ve seen on the other side. I know that I saw something. Or… I thought I was seeing something… Dave…”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you… how it was for you? That… Have you seen something? This scares me. I’m afraid of it.”

His eyes got serious “Mia, I saw darkness and light there. I felt the presence of something much bigger than me. It was extremely bigger and nobler than me. Mia, I felt God there. He was there. He was neutral, but I felt an enormous energy radiating from him. I was in dread of the darkness, I was alone and I was afraid. I’ve heard a voice, which was calling me. I was searching for its source, I couldn’t see a thing in the dark. The voice was yelling my name desperately. A voice… this voice belongs to such a person, whom I’m very important and who loves me. Mia, she’s my wife today.”

“Then what’re you doing here? You should be with her now, not with me” I freed myself from his embrace and I turned away, rubbing my shivering arms as I bent my head. I couldn’t see much from the water, but I didn’t want to see anything anyway. It was stupid of me to ask it. Did I need this? Did I need this plus pain into my heart? “You shouldn’t do this to her. It’s not a coincidence that you’ve heard her voice and not someone else’s.” I felt myself closing up into the depths of my soul. I felt the cold loneliness spreading slowly inside of me. Well yes, the lonely cats, I smiled inside of me with a bitter taste in my mouth and now I really felt myself like a lonely and wet errant cat. Yes, errant. This was the right word. I was rambling for a little love from one place to the other. But I didn’t deserve his love. His wife deserved it. Not me. Not me.

“Mia, sweetie, you asked it. I answered your question. And because this had happened, I told you the truth.”

“Why?”

“Why I cheat on her?” his look turned very serious.

“Yes, David, why?”

“Cuz I’m a quitter, a weak, pathetic guy, who wants love and acknowledgement more than anything in this world. And because I fell in love with you, that’s why” he said and stormed out of the bathroom.

Congratulations, you did it again, I thought bitterly as I started crying again. Why must I always screw up everything? Everything was going smoothly! How should I look into his eyes after this? How should I go on stage with them tonight? The water was still flowing from the shower when I stepped out of the cabin and reached for my dressing case. I was digging into it crying, until I’ve found my pills. I took the prescribed dose and crawled back under the water, balling up into that classic pose – I pulled up my legs and hugged my knees – and I was crying because of my stupidity. I think I was great in self-pity today.


	33. Chapter 33

33.

 

Martin found me after maybe half an hour, still in that very pose, shivering. I think the water bill’ll be high.

“Mia, honey, what happened?” he turned the tap, knelt down in front of me and put my wet hair behind my ears. I looked back at him with a pale face. I felt myself awful – especially when I saw the fear in his eyes – he was afraid that something bad had happened to me again. I think he was afraid that I can go back to hospital.

“Nothing” I said dimly.

“Hey kitty, just tell me – maybe I can help!” he asked quietly.

“Oh Martin” I started crying again “David, it’s Dave!”

His face turned deadly pale as he asked “What? What’s with Dave? Did he get hurt?”

“No-ho… I… hurt… him. I didn’t mean to… He’s gone, isn’t he? Is he in his room?”

“Come, I bring you into the bedroom. Are you okay?” he helped me up then he ran toward Dave’s room.

I was ashamed of myself as I was crying on the bed without tears. My chest and head hurt and I was a bit dizzy, but probably because of the crying. I just wanted to hide somewhere far away. How could I hurt him this much? And after that beautiful love-confession? This was all I wanted – to feel loved and I pushed him away. What kind of person am I? The minutes seemed like years as I was waiting for Martin to come back. I was sniffing and was still lying on the bed naked and shivering. I pulled just a blanket over me.

“He isn’t there, is he?” I whispered.

“He is there” he said with such a dark gaze which I haven’t seen from him yet.

“What’d happened?” I jumped up.

“Mia, he said that he opened himself for you – he was standing there with his bare soul and you…”

“… and I hurt him badly. Poor Dave says he loves me and I…”

“… and you practically…”

“Did he tell you?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t easy to pull it out of him. Have you seen David crying? Go and watch it for yourself!” he barked at me, turned around and left.

I thought I had no tears left, but as Martin looked at me, as he threw that last sentence at me I simply started sobbing. My heart sank although I’ve got what I deserved. I needed a few minutes before I could stand up and get dressed. I couldn’t let Dave suffer from my stupidity! He was speaking exactly of this in his confession. For him every push seems a kick. Did I kick him or worse?

I knocked at his door – no answer. I repeated the knocking. Nothing. Finally I thought that I try the handle to go into the room, but of course the door was locked. I started battering at the door and begging loud – he opened it for this. He was standing there half-naked, in jeans, with shiny eyes and slightly sniffling. Just like when he was a little boy and was beaten up. I didn’t care who could see us, I fall into his neck sobbing and I was begging for him to forgive me, cuz I can’t live without him. And I can’t live with the thought that he’s sad because of me. He pulled me into the room and pinned me to the wall, but in his grab there was more love than anger.

“I’ve told you Mia that my heart is not a toy – I’m glad that it still beats. I gave it to you, please don’t force me to take it back, cuz in that case it stops beating. Mia, Mia what do you do to me? Don’t ask me why – I don’t know why your question hurt me this much. Maybe cuz you’re right. I should be with Jennifer – should – but I want to be with you. No matter how unethical this may seem. Usually I don’t fall in love with anybody – but if I do then it’s not as quick as this was for me with you. Mia, please don’t hurt me, just love me! Sometimes it’s much better not speaking about certain things, pretending as if they were in a different way. And a reckless comment can crush loves forever. Don’t do this! I love you – that’s why your words hurt me this much… cuz the woman said it whom I love.”

“Jeez, David, I love you too! I never in my life loved anyone better than you! Please, forgive me! I don’t know what came into me, but I won’t bring these topics up ever again! I didn’t mean to hurt you, oh god I didn’t mean to! I love you, I love you, I love you!” I sobbed into his neck.

He embraced me tightly, inhaling the smell of my hair then he took my chin and lifted my tear-stained face so the two gazes could met, which were red from crying. And then I saw it. The first time in my life. He was crying without a word, while he was caressing my face.

“Can you forgive me?” I whispered on a lamentable voice.

He didn’t say a word jut nodded and turned away to go into the room – ashamed of his tears. Probably he found them a sign of weakness, but I thought they showed that he has deep emotions and he can express his feelings. The appreciation I felt for him was growing in my heart. I promised myself that next time before another comment like this I’ll rather bite off my tongue. I was just standing there watching him as he was standing in front of the window. Slowly I went to him and I nuzzled to him from the back, putting my arms around him. I didn’t say a word, I was just enjoying his closeness, the warmth of his body, his smell, his energies, which were radiating from him all the time. I’ve told the truth – I really loved him more than my own life.

He gently stroked my hands, which were hugging him. And I felt my knees go weak from this feeling. How could I be this stupid? A moment of aberration? Or I’m just simply headless? Or selfish? Or simply unsure and this is why I can’t handle the situation right? There were so many questions reeling in my head that it started to hurt badly. And I was ashamed of myself too. I put my forehead between his shoulder-blades so my tears could flow unnoticeably and I pulled my hands back. Now I couldn’t feel his warm touch on my arms anymore. I caressed his shoulders once more then I headed for the door.

“Don’t go kitty! Stay!”

“Do you want this?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. I stay” I nuzzled to him again.

“Wait a minute, okay? I try to pull myself together and we must go to Marty immediately. He’s… so protective… he worries so much because of me, I know… I’m sure that now he’s troubled too, cuz… cuz… he saw me crying… and this hurt him. Wait here, I’ll be ready within two minutes.”

I was waiting patiently, although my headache didn’t ease… on the contrary. But I didn’t say a word just pressed my teeth together. He just put on a T-shirt after washing his face and he was ready.

“Come” he took my hand with a faint little smile.

I returned the gesture and my heart nearly melted from the feeling as our fingers interlocked. I had to look down at our hands so I could be sure that his touch was really real.

“Dave… won’t be there a problem if someone sees us hand in hand?” I whispered hoarsely.

“I don’t care Mia. I love you.”

I smiled sadly. Yes, now comes the biting-off-the-tongue part. I swallowed my question “and what if Jenny hears about this?”. I was walking on his side until we reached Martin’s room. He knocked on the door. We heard just an edgy ‘Come in’ and we stepped in quietly. Martin was showing his back towards the door as he was sitting on his bed and he was staring at the guitar he got from me as if everything was its fault. But I knew that he wasn’t blaming the guitar – he was blaming the one who gave it to him. Me. My heart sank. He exhaled the smoke angrily.

“Mart, dear, don’t be mad at her.”

“I’m trying not to” he growled then turned toward me “You were able to hurt him? Him, who loves you more than I do?”

“Martin, this isn’t true!” Dave exclaimed.

“I know it is. It’s alright David. We lived through many things during these years – I can bear this one too. In a relationship one loves the other better and this is why he or she will be more defenseless. Well, in our relationship I’m the one in this situation.”

“Martin!”

“Wait Dave, let me finish it! I love Mia too. But we two, we… Dave… please!”

Dave sat down next to him and put his arm around him “Martin, listen… don’t you want to go to the cinema? We could watch ‘Dangerous Liaisons’ for example…”

“You whoreson, you!” Mart smiled and turned to me “Come here you too! After all the question you’ve asked from Dave was understandable, it just turned out in the wrong way – the phrasing, the tone or something.”

“That’s right, let’s kiss and be friends again!” Dave suggested.

I sat onto Martin’s other side awkwardly – nearly shyly. I could understand his anger, because I’ve hurt Dave. But it didn’t matter that he softened and calmed down, I still feared this Martin L. Gore a bit.

“Hey, I won’t bite” he looked at me “Don’t wilt down.”

“Martin… I’m sorry” I said quietly and I was deadly serious “Please, don’t be mad at me!” I wiped away a tear drop. Will they ever run out? I felt as he put his right arm around my shoulders.

“Alright. But don’t you dare to hurt David! I don’t want to do something I’ll regret later.”

“Martin, are you mad? You act like a jealous husband…”

“I feel myself like one, Dave. I go insane with jealousy when you’re with someone else. And it doesn’t matter if it’s Mia, Jen or anyone! Shit, everyone wants you.”

“You want me too” Dave kissed into his neck. Martin shivered from Dave’s touch and his hand started quivering and wild fire rose in his eyes. Dave was watching as it got clearer how much Martin wanted him. “Mia-kitty, honey” he turned to me “Kitty, is it okay if we leave you alone a bit? Martin wants to play chess” he laughed. Now Martin smiled too.

“I see” I joined them “Well, Mr. Karparov, Mr. Kasparov it was my pleasure” I answered and headed for my room.

\---

I was sitting by the table, which was near to the balcony’s door. I was deep in my thoughts, fighting with my crabby headache and thinking about the things which had happened. I took two pills to ease the pain. Then I started checking and putting Andy’s music sheets together.

It was slowly late afternoon when a crew member came and told me that we must go to the arena within an hour. I nodded and started preparing myself. On the corridor I bumped into Christian and Peter, who were heading to the cars with his packs too.

“Hi Mia” Christian greeted me kindly and with a smile “Do you want to join us?”

“Well…” I glimpsed toward Mart’s room and I hesitated for a moment then I’ve decided to leave them alone. Martin deserved Dave’s undivided attention for a little longer. “Sure. Why not?” I smiled back.

“Great” he nodded and we walked down the corridor.

In the car I was watching the streets when I heard Peter’s voice.

“Mia, I wanted to tell you that I like the style as you slide the tones in your vocals” he noted.

I turned towards him “Thank you Peter. And I like your improvisations – for example when you’re supporting Mart’s solo songs.”

He smiled, but then his cell started ringing and he excused himself and turned away to start speaking.

“We hadn’t had the chance yet to really speak” Christian addressed me, drumming on his knees with his hands.

“No, we hadn’t.”

“Mia, I’m glad that you got well – we were very worried for you.”

“Oh, thanks, you’re nice.”

“Uh-uh. And the boys were crazy with worry – Dave was so tense he nearly cracked. He doesn’t like anything which can endanger the show.”

“Yes, he’s kinda perfectionist.”

“Yep. When we wrote lyrics with him, sometimes he didn’t leave us alone until we put it together or rewrote it” he remembered smiling and I had to join him. “Oh and we sent you flowers into the hospital, I hope you got them.”

“Yep. Thanks. I was happy that you thought about me.” I sank into my thoughts a bit staring at my shaking hands, which I balled into fists. “You know… I still often feel myself like a stranger. An outsider. And I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“You have a big mission: you’re singing for the legendary Depeche Mode. You’re working with music’s immortals.”

“Well yes, they’re my heroes – no doubt about it.”

“Otherwise for a while I felt the same – when I’ve joined the band as a supporting drummer. I felt myself incredibly lucky. I always appreciated their work. Then after a while – when we got used to each other – this cramped feeling had disappeared. I realised that they’re humans too like anyone else. They’re good bosses and friends” he shrugged.

“Oh yes. They’re humans like we, with the same feelings” I agreed. I knew it very well. “And do you miss speaking in German? I know that you go with them on tours for years now and stuff like that and probably you got used to English, but I still miss Hungarian.”

“No, I don’t miss it. We can find German people everywhere” he smiled “After the concert we could go with the boys into a German pub – we could eat sauerkraut with sausage and we could drink beer, hmm… Would you like to go?”

I laughed “Why not?” then I started thinking “A German pub in Las Vegas? You think we can find one?” I looked at him doubtingly.

“There’s everything in Las Vegas, kitty! You just have to look for it on the right place” the drummer winked.

“Kitty?”

“They call you like that, didn’t they? I mean Dave and Mart. I’ve heard it not just once.”

“You’ve heard it?” I asked back. He didn’t answer just eyed me with a smile. Oh my god, what else could he have heard?

I turned my head away confused. Fortunately the silence wasn’t uncomfortably long, cuz we arrived to the stadium. I got out of the car maybe a bit relieved, my shoulder-bag on my side. The running was big again as I saw. But for a minute I stopped and sized up the stadium. Knowing that they can fill such an enormous building with their fans filled me with respect.

\---

I’ve spent the last 20 minutes behind the stage in my little room. I was sitting in the middle of the messy and small room and every kind of thoughts were reeling in my mind. Then I felt a touch on my shoulder. As I looked up I saw Martin.

“Mia, darling, we were searching for you everywhere. Why didn’t you tell us that you leave without us?”

“I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“I see. Ah, it was great – just he and me” he moaned a big one as he sat down with a beer.

“Where’s our tom cat now?”

“He’s warming up. We should do it too. Come, let’s go into his dressing room. It’s better when we three are together!”

When we stepped out to the corridor in the clothes we wear on stage, we bumped into a bigger group of fans, who were waiting for the ‘Meet and greet’. Their eyes popped out when they recognized their God, Mr. Martin L. Gore. They greeted him – they nearly fell over each other. They were very sweet. One of the girls quietly screamed when Dave peeked out of his dressing room half-naked to see what these noises were. He waved to the fans and told us to go in.

By the time we walked into the room, he already put on his black vest, showing us his back. Martin drank a long sip from his beer and I was just standing there, watching a music sheet as an alibi.

“What’s up, what’s up Martin? Did you warm up?” Mart shook his head “Then start it! What should it be?”

“Mary has a little lamb” I said.

Dave laughed “That’s Rosie’s favourite. Kitty, it’ll be hard for you. You must sing it with one breath.”

“I’m sure I’ll mess it up, but let’s try it” a little smile ran through my face.

“Deep breath and one, two, three!”

I forgot to sing cuz I was watching him so hard to see how he does it. Now Dave couldn’t finish it either, cuz his singing turned into laughing as he was looking at my open mouth and slightly booby expression.

“What is it, kitty? Haven’t you seen me singing before?”

“I did, I did… it’s just that… you can sing this song like this and so quickly and with one breath!” I broke out amazed “I’ll never learn this!” I put my hands onto my hips.

Martin laughed as he was sitting there with his guitar in his hands then he looked at Dave.

“Hey, don’t say this Mia” Dave stepped to me and caressed my arms “You can do it. First I couldn’t do it either, but during the years it sank in. Here, you can have the lyrics too” he pushed a paper under my nose.

“Thanks, it’s a ‘big’ help” I ran my eyes on the lines, but the cynical tone didn’t bother him.

“Well then one, two, three and four…”

The second time wasn’t better either. I had to stop at least six times because I couldn’t pronounce the English text. This made them laugh and I started pouting.

“This is for professionals, not for such a beginner like me” I shook the paper.

“We can’t start the concert until you sing it at least once” Dave joked “Don’t make them wait. Can you hear them?”

I could – there was a loud uproar outside, it was like the sounds of a generator. And the boys were still ahead of the ‘Meet and greet’.

“Oh boys, please be very kind to them! This is a dream for a lot of fans, I mean to see you from this close…”

“We know!” they said in the same moment “Kitty-Mia, come see when I really feel myself like a black panther” Dave smiled and went on “Behind the bars in the zoo – this is how it feels like when they’re staring at me. You’ll see, it’s a strange feeling.”

I frowned as I sighed then I rather took the paper into my hand again and I read through the lyrics for a few times, concentrating hard.

“Alright then, let’s try it.”

Dave smiled and counted back. And I could sing maybe to the half of the song then I started coughing, cuz a mote went onto my throat. The boys looked at me worried and Dave stepped closer, hesitating.

“Relax, relax, just dust” I held up one hand then sipped from the water “Again!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep! Don’t make them wait.”

“Alright…”

And this time I had to stop just before the last line.

“Wow, kitty! This was great!!” Dave’s face brightened up while I was gasping for air.

“It really was” Mart smiled at me too then stood up and put his guitar down. His fingers were ready for the concert. “I think it’s time for us to show ourselves to the lucky ones” he stretched.

Dave nodded and I followed them. The fans weren’t curious about me. Before we stepped out I whispered into Dave’s ear “I’m staring at you the whole day too…” and I stepped out of the way.

“I know, sweetheart” he whispered back when we were already on the corridor, where at least 20 fans were waiting for them and behind Martin’s back Dave pressed a quick kiss onto my lips. Although there was no evidence, every fan could see what David had done. I stepped aside embarrassed. How did he think this? Why is he playing with fire? He can duck us easily, I thought looking back at them worried, but he already began shaking hands with the fans. I was standing a few steps away, my hands folded in front of my chest.

The boys tried to be very kind to them. Dave winked at me and he hugged and kissed every woman on the face. I grinned at this and at the effect of Dave’s gesture: knees went weak and air became thin there. Dave was playing with them. He looked at them with his saddest eyes, he smiled at them with his love-me-please-love-this-poor-little-puppy smile and he was flirting with them. And they loved it. They loved him without conditions. One of the girls – when they posed for the photo – and he pulled her closer to him, started crying, cuz she was so moved by this. Dave did to them what he wanted to. And he was enjoying it. If he asked them to do 100 press-ups, they’d have done it without a problem – anything for the Master.

“You’re insane!” I mouthed to him with a smile when I saw him looking at me next to the photographer’s head. He grinned widely and it came into my mind right away that this’ll look great on the photo. Martin smiled faintly too, but I felt a little tension in him. Then I’ve decided to walk towards the stage to leave them fully for their fans.

Unbelievable, I thought, there’s no one who wouldn’t eat out of Dave’s hand. What a guy! If he wants, if he wants… And then the tears in his eyes came into my mind… His slightly smeary face, his sad eyes, his quiet sniffs. This god loved me and cried for and because of me. The person who was playing with the girls behind my back… he had a mesmerizing effect on them and as I saw he had it on the boys too. I was walking slowly when they caught up with me and he stroked my butt quickly, smiling at me impishly.

“You’re playing with fire” I whispered.

“I know, I’m playing with you, you fierce lover, you!”

“Dave, we shouldn’t…”

“You turn me on even when I just look at you. Look!” and he looked down.

“Oh god” I moaned.

“Kitty, we have 15 minutes left, come into the dressing room!”

“Are you nuts?”

“Yes. Yes, cuz I love you and I want you. You’re in my head instead of concentrating onto the show. It’s not too professional.”

“It isn’t David.”

“Who cares?”

“Martin?” I looked at him questioningly still shaking my head.

“Thanks but usually I’m in another world when we are this close to the beginning. Or I could say that I’m too nervy. I rather warm my fingers up a bit more” he answered in a neutral tone. He was jealous again, I knew, but we couldn’t do anything against it.

“See, kitty? Just the two of us have left” he slid his hand onto my waist, which made me look around.

“You really are crazy, Dave!”

“I am! I go crazy for you! I want you, Mia! Don’t deny yourself from me, or else I’ll cum on stage from your voice and sight in this… hmmm… very sexy dress of yours…”

“Alright, alright! I hope no one’ll see us!” I pushed his hand off of me and I turned back with him, hoping that the fans weren’t there anymore.

We were lucky. He pulled me along the corridor and I saw that the bulge in his trousers grew bigger. He nearly pushed in the unlucky door and he pressed his body against mine right away.

“I have to do a quick job, sweetie, but I’ll be profound, I promise.”

He navigated me to an armchair so I was facing it and he was already inside me from the back. He wanted me so badly that he couldn’t see or hear anything around him. I wanted to get up and lock the door, but he didn’t let me. He pressed me to the armchair and he was raging in me, pushing his head into my neck.

“Oh god, Dave!” I cried out “Dave!”

It was as if he didn’t hear me, he was just grabbing my hips harder.

“Dave! Softer! Please” I moaned “This hurts…”

“Uh, I’m trying, but I can’t control myself, I can barely bear it, Mia, oh god, Mia!”

“Dave, sweetheart, just do it in the way you want it… concentrate on yourself, I’m yours. After the show I’ll get my pampering-dose too. Jesus, you beast!”

“You make me wild, Mia!!!” he moaned loudly “Yes! You’ll get what you deserve!” he growled towards the ceiling, grabbing my hips painfully. I knew that by the end of the show they’ll be purple.

I could only moan, but with a quick and rough thrust he exploded in me. He was panting wildly and he was sweating hard. He was just hugging me, fighting for air.

“Oh my god, Mia, I love you so much” he moaned into my ear, but he didn’t move from over me. I began to think that we’ll be late because of the front man’s horniness, but at this moment Jonathan knocked at the door and told us that we must be on stage within five minutes. I could say goodbye to my panties and there was no time to search for another one.

“And now I should go on stage without panties?” I dried his body with a towel “How many panties had the same faith, my panther? Don’t you know?”

“Me? Martin tore the others off! Do you know that I have very few unharmed underpants since we’re on tour? I think the place where I order them thinks that I joined the underwear business and I’m a seller too” he laughed. Now he was relieved, happy, relaxed and satisfied. Perfect for a concert.

“Yes of course. You’ve stolen at least one. And another three panties of mine are dead because of you!”

“Do you regret it?” he caressed my arm.

“Not too much…” I smiled “Come, let’s go. I bet that only we’re missing now, which can be conspicuous…” I kissed him on the mouth.

“This felt so good! More!” he asked.

“Bad boy! You must concentrate on your audience. Go, my hero, go! I can still remember perfectly how my knees went weak and how excited I was… I barely could breathe when I saw you coming onto the stage.”

“Just like now, right?”

“Just like now” I nuzzled to him.

John impatiently warned us again. He knew exactly how Dave was relaxing in the last 15 minutes.

“Let’s go!” I smacked his butt and he laughed from this.


	34. Chapter 34

34.

 

As I walked out of the room I’ve sent an apologizing look towards Kessler, who was patting his watch then I hurried forward to take my place unobtrusively. Dave had to come later anyway… To come? No! He literally imploded onto the stage! Limitless happiness was radiating from him! He was an unbelievable energy-bomb. The audience loved it and he loved the audience as he was bantering them. It was great to see that. After a while I felt that this’ll be the show which they’ll release. It wasn’t in Europe and not with the biggest audience – “just” around 25-30,000 people – but the tempo was insane! And the thought ran through my silly head that I won’t wear panties on the most important record in my life!! I nearly laughed from this. The laughing tone could be heard on my vocal for a moment – Dave looked up at me grinning, jumping from one leg to the other and he winked.

During “Freelove” – which was in the set list again – he did exactly the same thing like in ONIP. He hugged me and we were singing together. The question ran through my mind “how much Freelove was in the thing we three had together”? And during “John the revelator” he was nuzzling to Martin so much that the poor guy nearly dropped his guitar and he forgot to “solmizate” although he always did that. And during “Policy of truth” I had to grab my mic hard when Dave made some spins with the micstand and he was molesting that poor object, pushing certain bodyparts to it. Of course this made the crowd crazy – or at least the female part of it…

I felt that I wanted him badly. And the best thing in it was that I knew: I’ll have him. Whenever I want him. No matter how many times. And this God loves me! Hurray! When he looked at me, I was grinning like mad. And I could stop myself, so I licked the edge of my lips just once – signaling him what was on my mind. And he knew what I was thinking, I knew that he knew that I knew it! This made me smile even wider. Then I realized that if someone watches this DVD, they’ll know right away that there was something between us, cuz only a blind man wouldn’t be able to see the sparkles and the flying gestures. But to tell the truth I didn’t really care.

The concert was moving along quickly, we were at the second encore when Dave nearly fell off the catwalk, cuz the fans nearly dragged him off the stage. It was difficult for him to get his balance back – he even fell onto his knees from crouching and he barely could stand up from the hands, which were grabbing him. But he didn’t mind it, he was grinning widely and when he got free, he blew a kiss to them, which made his hysteric fans rave even more. And when he towered right over them and grabbed himself and shook his ass… well then all hell broke loose… Two girls started ripping off their clothes and they were throwing them onto the stage – by the time the security guys took them away, they were half-naked. And Dave just lifted a black bra and with rolling his hips he danced away with it. It was truly insane. He showed us how it was possible to – so to say - make love to the crowd. It was a fantastic experience. He awakened all of their senses: vision, hearing, touching. He drove them insane and he was conducting their rave from the stage, like the absolute lord of their life and death. Momentarily he was playing the role of the godlike hero. After all of his deeds of valour Hercules would not have been able to parade better on Persepolis’ streets than Dave Gahan was doing now on this very stage.

I saw Anton’s face – he was staring at Dave like a statue. Suddenly I couldn’t decide whether it was good or bad. But I hadn’t got too much time, cuz I had to sing. We grinned at each other with Martin. He was quite active on stage too. Dave’s energy cheered him up too, but I still saw a little restraint in him, which was always one of his characteristics. During one or two songs I saw on him that he was somewhere far away, in a higher sphere. I had to smile kindly from this too. A few times he walked to me too and smiled at me or he exchanged some words with Peter.

Meanwhile our front man was sweating heavily, but he didn’t seem too tired. Just when Martin was singing and he was waiting next to the stage’s stairs with a towel in his neck and back was he panting from jumping and spinning. I walked to him with a smile, cuz I didn’t have to sing now.

“Do you know Dave that you’re the best? The best front man I know? It’s unbelievable what you can do to people.”

“Thank you, sweetie, this is my job.”

“No, no. It’s more than that. What do you have that you have such an effect on people?”

“Maybe He likes me above?” he smiled, waving upwards with his eyes. In the half-light I caressed his arm.

“There’re unbelievable energies in you, Dave. You’re more dangerous than an A-bomb” I looked down at him from the top of the stairs. He laughed.

“And I just need a catalyzer who can rev me up. In this case this is you dear Mia…” suddenly his eyes were filled with his deep feelings and I nearly fell off the stairs from this – I was lucky that I was grabbing the rail. His feelings’ intensity nearly burned my skin. Was this the fire Martin was talking about? Is this the one which burns everyone near to him? I’m sure this was it. There’s something unearthly energy in David, which makes our enervate lives seem more vivid. When I’m with him, I really feel myself alive. And now I don’t mean just the fact that he’s a sensual and tireless lover. Although in the last few minutes this was on my mind while I was watching his slim body, which was so full of life as he was standing there in his lax and elegant pose. His eyes were following Martin on stage and there was a cigarillo between his fingers. He puffed the smoke and he was drinking in Martin’s sight. He was moving to the rhythm slowly and his foot followed it too then he hasn’t even noticed that he’d started dancing. I was just standing there on the stairs and I was watching him and I knew – from life’s endless mercy – that this wonderful man was one of my loves.

“What?” he asked me with a half-smile when he noticed that I was watching him nearly with an open mouth. I could only moan quietly then I carefully looked around and walked down that three steps, which were separating us and I put one of my hands onto his sweaty face and I kissed him gently. I wanted to feel the life inside of him. I wanted to feel it on my skin. The heat radiating from him was like an electric shock for me.

“Who’re you, Dave?” I moaned into his mouth.

“Me? Your lover, kitty.”

“No, no. You’re a reincarnation of some kind of god. You could tell me which’s, cuz then I’d build an altar for you” I smiled into those maddeningly green eyes, which were always changing their colour.

“I’m just the man who loves you and wants to make you happy. Who wants to be happy because you’re happy and who wants to cry when you’re sad. Mia!” he took my hand “What’re you doing to me? Look what you’re doing to me!” and he pressed my hand over his heart, which was beating wildly.

Before I could answer, Martin finished “Shake the disease”. We had to go back on the stage, but I couldn’t stop myself and as an answer I kissed him once more. Fiercely. Then I pulled away and walked back to my place, still feeling his wild heart beats on my palm. I think I was somewhere else while I was singing and watching Dave’s clowning automatically. Then I followed him with my eyes as he started to banter the crowd again. Anton took a picture of me from the side in this pose – watching Dave, resting my left hand on the micstand, wearing my glittery dress. When I discovered him, I looked to the side with a smile then I joined the singing again.

And then it was over. The ovation was enormous. The boys were very great. I had the feeling that they’re getting better and better with every performance – if it was still possible. We left the stage and went into the dressing room. Martin hugged his friend, I was following them.

Suddenly Dave’s knees went weak – Mart barely could hold him. We jumped to him in the same moment.

“Dave, what’s with you?” Mart leant to him worried.

“Nothing. I just lost a lot of fluids and salt and I’m flushed. I drink an energy drink in my room and take a shower. Everything’ll be fine.

“Are you sure?” I asked worried, my eyes looking for the crew doc, but I knew that he’d hate if I called him here.

“Yep. I’m sure. Don’t worry. I just have to rest” he straightened up, gently shaking off our hands, as if he was protesting against the assumption that he was weak. We looked at each other with Martin worried.

“Don’t you want one of us to go with you?” I asked very quietly.

“No, kitty, thanks, you don’t have to” he smiled at me tiredly, round sweat drops running down on his face “I want to be alone a bit and calm down. If you’re in my near, I can never relax. You two are like drugs for me” he noted as he turned away and stepped into his dressing room.

“Like drugs?” I looked worried at Martin. I didn’t like this word from his mouth because of the past.

“I think he meant the sex. Maybe it wears him out. Once he’s with you then with me, and then with his wife. This’d be honourable even for a prize-winner stallion! We should let him rest, but I know that he’s the one, who really wants it, who can’t live without it. This is why he said that we’re like drugs for him. Come kitty – this time into my dressing room” he winked at me “I show you something.”

“Okay Marty” I answered, but my thoughts were still whirling around Dave. If he can’t live without us then I can’t live without him. I was thinking about how he was ruling the stage and the crowd. And that I wanted him now so badly. I whish I was in his arms, I thought.

\---

In his dressing room Mart waved towards a chair and he put one of his legs onto another. He started playing a melody on that guitar he’d got from me. The song had a little country taste.

“How do you like it, Mia? I wrote it for you!”

“It’s beautiful Martin!” I smiled at him radiantly, putting my chin into my palm as I crossed my legs and propped my elbow on my knee “You really wrote this for me?”

“Yep. You have an effect on me too even if I show it more rarely than him.”

“Oh, Martin! Thank you” I squeezed his knee moved.

“I bring you out tonight, Mia, okay? Dave doesn’t like after parties, you know. Poor thing… sometimes I see it in his eyes that he wants to come with the others, but he’s scared that he’s not strong enough and he starts drinking again and then he’s over. It’s hard for me too… jeez, if I could put it down!”

“But Mart, you did it very well lately, didn’t you?” I asked “Since I was in hospital I’ve never seen you drinking.”

He looked at me guiltily and he rather put his guitar away.

“Or you were just careful so I couldn’t see you?”

“Or I was just careful.”

“Marty, I…”

“I was especially carefully so that Dave couldn’t see it. On the one hand he’s worried about me, on the other… since he can’t drink I can’t let him taste and smell the whiskey on my kiss. Last time we had a big fight over this. He was yelling at me like never before. The whole hotel was shuddering from it.”

“When I was in hospital?”

“Yes. And he was right, he is right. I don’t know how he can have this much strength that he can stop himself. I can’t stop myself, I do whatever and whenever he wants it, cuz…”

“I know Mart” I stroked his face “I’m walking in the same shoes. He’s the dominant one in our triangle and we simply go mad for him.”

“Yeah, something like that. And I go mad for you too” he pulled me into his lap. And I had to concentrate really hard not to think on someone else when he kissed me. “You’re not wearing panties” he moaned surprised when one of his hands slid upwards on my thigh and he pulled his head back a bit so he could look into my eyes.

“Nope.”

“Is this something new, or…”

”… or he ripped it off, yes…”

“And you didn’t have them on during the whole concert…”

“On the whole concert…” I nodded.

“Uh! If I had known!” he grabbed my thighs a bit harder.

“Then?”

“Then I’d have walked behind you to play my guitar there, but in such way that you’d have known how much I was interested in you.”

“How much, Martin?”

“Come, sit onto my lap and you’ll see right away.”

I’d have done that, but I couldn’t sit onto his lap, cuz with a quick move he loosened his belt and pulled me onto him. I sighed as I felt his hardness inside of me and I’ve started moving on him with an unworldly expression on my face and he was just moaning loudly. Dave’s sight on stage turned me on so hard that I’ve started galloping on Marty right away.

Suddenly he asked: “Mia, now you’re thinking about Dave, right?”

“Marty!”

“You have the same expression when you’re staring at him… answer me, please!”

“His dancing on stage came into my mind… and when he shakes his fine ass.”

“Oh god, this was on my mind too!” Martin laughed “And because we always mention him…”

“What?” I panted lucidly as I was holding to his shoulders “No, this time he won’t show up. Let him rest” I was moving on him with a nice rhythm. He kissed into my neck. “I go with you… to that party” I moaned “And… I’ll take care of you… if you want…” I said and made circles with my hips.

“Yeah, that’ll be great. We tell… ah… Mia… to Dave where we’re going… so he can now… where we’ll be.”

“Yes… Mart! Oh my god! Ah… yes!” I moaned as we were moving more intensely.

I was watching Marty and it was strange to know that David was on his mind while he was with me and it was strange for me too that David was on my mind while I was with Mart. We were making love to Dave, who wasn’t even there. I think we both yelled nearly Dave’s name in the moment we cum. Or at least I barely could hold back our black panther’s name as my back arched, sitting on Martin’s lap. He moaned an enormous one with his head between my breasts and I felt his hot river shot up into me. This lovemaking was embarrassing and insanely maddening in the same time.

I had to know whether Mart felt the same way – but like earlier, he started speaking first: “Mia, sweetheart, I see that you too… you were thinking of… come, let’s go and find him and at least give him a hug. I go mad for and without him! He turned both of us on during the concert. Let’s just nuzzle to him! I’m sure he’ll like it.”

“Mart, aren’t you mad that… you know that I love you, but I was watching him for 2 hours as he drove the audience crazy. And before that he tore off my panties and floored me. I can’t help myself – my thoughts are all his now.”

“I’m nearly in the same situation. I love you – truly and from my heart. But tonight someone else is on my mind – just him. “

“Alright, let’s find him.”

“Are you gonna call him or we should surprise him?”

“Let’s surprise him” I arranged my dress then I changed my mind “But can I take a shower first? Or we can have that shower together, I don’t mind. I just want to get rid off this chick dress and it’d be great to find panties too.”

“Since when are you this shy?” he smiled kindly.

“The good question is ‘since when am I not shy’?” I noted and he laughed.

“It was strange to hear this from your mouth. Alright. We meet outside in 10 minutes time” he patted my butt gently.

“Okay” I smiled then gave a quick kiss onto his mouth “And after the surprise is delivered, I escort you onto that party. We need diversity.”

“Alright, kitty. I hurry” and he took his T-shirt off and I hurried to my own dressing room.

\---

We were standing in front of Dave’s door. I was holding a box of his favourite Godiva and Mart was hiding a single red rose behind his back. We asked one of the new roadies to announce that it’s the room service. Dave yelled out that they’d already brought the things he’d ordered, but our roadie was clever enough to say that she’d brought the gift of the house. We could hear his mumbling and shuffles. At this time the roadie was already in the elevator and when Dave finally opened the door, we fell into his neck from both sides. We hugged him fiercely and started kissing him half-way in the door. Dave laughed.

“Hey, hey! What’s this dash? And how did I earn the gift of the house?” he put his arms around us.

“Just because you exist!” Martin gabbed and gave him another peck onto his face as he stroked along Dave’s back.

“And because you set the whole stadium on fire!” I caressed his chest as much as the tight embrace allowed me and I kissed into his neck.

“And I set you two on fire too, right?” he was still giggling.

“We are in the ‘whole stadium’ so yes…” Mart answered and slid his hand onto Dave’s butt.

“Exactly” I murmured from Dave’s neck.

“Huh, it seems that we’ll have a hot night here… Hm? Are you gonna come in or you want it on the corridor?”

“You’re crazy, Dave! Anyway, we didn’t want to floor you, just love you, holding you in our arms and stroking you” Martin breathed into his ear from the other side.

“Guys, don’t! I’ll cry!” I closed the door behind us.

“It’s not necessary” Dave stroked my face, but now I wasn’t holding on him as close as previously.

“As a sign of my love please accept these goodies from your fav kind!” I smiled at him blushing. I didn’t know why on earth I was blushing, but his gaze caused this from me.

We settled down in the living room. The table was a big mess - on one side with the rest of the beef and on the other side David was working. There were papers shattered around and balled up. I took one into my hand – it was some kind of lyrics. I read it and a sad smile spread on my face.

“Give it to me, don’t look at them, please, they aren’t good.”

“My David, at least let me…” Martin asked.

He reluctantly gave the paper into Blondie’s hand “I warned you. I’m nowhere compared to you…”

Martin started reading and I was smiling faintly.

“Dave, you… did you write this?”

“You know to whom I wrote it, right?”

“Of course! David, you’re insane.”

“Insane? Maybe. But you know, Mart, you’re not the only one who loves the other here. You were so on my mind tonight and I… so… but it’s not good, not good enough. Not good enough for you.”

“It’s more than good for me Davie… You describe your emotions in a beautiful way, cuz they’re real emotions and you show them.”

I thought I saw something wrong, but no: Dave Gahan was blushing hard. And this caught Martin’s attention too.

“Uhm… it’s nothing, Mart, this is just…”

“No, I mean it” he sat next to him “You know how much I love you” he caressed his face.

“I know, yes, that you want me to prove you my… my… my love for you…” he said quickly with one breath and Martin exclaimed quietly, pulled Dave to him and kissed him passionately.

I was just watching Marty’s fascination, I was just staring at them. And I felt it too: fascination. I loved them. And I felt it too that Mart and I are Dave’s slaves – slaves who were ruling their ruler. And suddenly somehow this seemed so right, so good and natural, like nothing else in my life. I stepped to the red rose, which was lying on the table then lifted it to my nose. I put it into a vase. There was another bouquet of flowers on the table – probably from a fan. Then I was just watching them again as they were embracing each other, and Martin was caressing Dave’s face with his thumb. Curly’s eyes were shining like mad, cuz finally Dave said those words. And Dave was just sitting and letting Martin do whatever he wanted to do. And he was embracing and caressing him moved then he kissed him.

“You made me very happy with this Dave, do you know?”

“Yes Martin. I engaged myself with you too. You know, the power of spoken words… Here, I’m yours” he sighed, enjoying Martin’s fingers’ game on his nape. Martin’s eyes closed and he was trembling when he asked:

“And now you give yourself to me?”

“Heavenly surrender once again…” Dave sang whispering.

“I’ll be right back Dave, Mia, I’ll be right back” he stood up and slowly left the room.

It was clear that his senses and emotions were overflowing so he wanted to arrange them. He had David’s song in his hand, he took it with himself. What a great DM song’ll be born from this, I thought and I nuzzled purring to the one we adored.

“Tell me if I disturb you” I said quietly.

“No, you don’t disturb us” he whispered into my hair and kissed the top of my head.

“Just tell me if you want to be alone.”

“You don’t have to go.”

As an answer I quickly embraced him. “The lyrics are beautiful” I noted quietly “He loves it.”

“Although I really feel that it’s silly. This is the most difficult thing to express with words.”

“Don’t think that it’s silly. It’s good – Marty is right – that it’s homely, that you are that song. You know, I love Paper Monsters because of this, cuz you are that album.”

“Thank you Mia. It’s so good when someone appreciates what I’m doing. I’ll be proud of myself at the end.”

“You can be proud of yourself! Just look at this night! Anton is still searching for his jaw on the floor. I haven’t seen him at all after the show. He ran with the records so they can start editing it, right?”

“Something like that. Well at least I’ll see what was on this concert. For me the whole thing seems like I’m watching it from a bubble, I barely know what’s going on around me.”

“David, aren’t you scared? The fans nearly pulled you off the catwalk.”

“Later or from the outside it may seem scary, but I never feel it. I’m so on high that I barely know what they’re doing. Just later. But I don’t think that they’d tear me apart alive” he grinned “Maybe my trousers’d be enough for them…”

“Oh, you little show-off!” I hit his chest playfully “And won’t you be worried about Sir Lefty? That they’d rip him off?”

“No, I’m not worried about him. Anyway, it isn’t true.”

“It is, I’ve seen it. You showed it to me.”

“No, it isn’t, just check it out for yourself” and he slid the zipper down on his jeans. Soon I was laughing so hard, I nearly fell off the couch. “Hey! Don’t laugh at him! He’ll turn into a shy guy and will pull himself back forever!”

I love Dave exactly because of this – he’s so not normal, I smiled for myself. Informing millions of people from the stage how SL is in his trousers! He’s totally crazy! Time after time he tries to seem like a calm gentleman – that ‘Englishman in New York’ kind of guy – but he can’t fool anyone. I don’t say that he has a clever and a sophisticated humour, but I like it when he’s playing the fool.

“Show me Davie” I took his treasure into my hands, which made him moan.

“If you checked him out, would you be so kind and pet him a bit? Maybe he’s offended from your previous laugh…”

“Of course, sweetheart, with my greatest pleasure. Well, look at him, he really tends to the left.”  
“Okay, but just a little. But this is because there isn’t enough space in my trousers for his length, and I had to lead him somewhere and I always put him to the left. He got used to it, he knows where his place is” he fastened my grip around him so I could grab Sir Lefty harder. But I nearly failed, cuz laughing was shaking me so hard.


	35. Chapter 35

35.

Martin sneaked in without knocking. As he spotted us he said: “You know Mia, I’ve seen Dave with some women, but none of them was laughing this hard when he put his cock into her hand.”

“Hey, Mart, don’t be so vulgar!” Dave laughed too.

“I’m not vulgar, but horny. Come… oh I see, you can’t come so then I go…” and he stepped behind his back and nuzzled to him. Our panther closed his eyes from his joy. “David, my love” Mart breathed into his ear “we’d decided with Mia that tonight we’ll pamper, love and adore just you. We’re your slaves, my god” he licked a spot behind Dave’s ear and he breathed on the skin with his hot lips. Dave was just moaning loudly.

“Dave, tell us what you want. We do anything for you” I said as I slid his treasure out of my mouth for a moment.

“I’ve told you that you’re like drug for me! I want more and more from you. Ahh Mart, Martin, jeeesus, Mart…” Now the experienced musician was the impatient one. “I love you both” he sighed.

“We love you too Dave, we love you too” I answered unbuttoning his shirt and I gave kisses onto his revealed soft skin after every button. Martin walked around the couch and took Sir Lefty into his hand. I still had to laugh from this nickname. I left a wet trail with my tongue on his chest then I licked along his Ohm-tattoo excitingly slowly then I did the same on his phoenix too. He moaned and I knew that he was getting bigger and harder between Martin’s fingers and lips. I felt him grabbing my hair with one hand and he did the same with Martin’s hair with his other hand. I felt under my lips that his pulse started to race. I licked along his throat until I reached his jaw-line. First I kissed it along then I offered my mouth. And he was kissing me, holding my neck with one hand and he pulled me to him. It was clear how happy he was that we loved him this way. He was shining, but not just his face, but his whole body. A strange light was radiating from him – I swear I saw it – it was like the sun. He gave us his shine and I felt that he brightened me up.

Mart looked up at our desire’s mysterious matter and asked again: “Please tell me David what you want. This is your night, dear, ask anything!”

“Just… love me! Let me feel it!” he stroked Curly’s face, who smiled from this.

“I think it won’t be a problem” he noted and I was just smiling and bent back to Dave’s lips. When I touched him I felt Dave’s hot energy flowing into me. My heart nearly skipped a beat from this. It took my breath away and I moaned into the kiss. He was moaning because Martin took his rock-hard cock into his mouth again.

“Hey, Marty, slower, or else I… jeez Mart, I’ll be over in a sec…”

“Come my dearest Dave, come, I’m waiting for you…”

And Dave cum crying out loud and shaking with his whole body. And Martin swallowed everything he had to give then he started licking Dave’s still hard member. Dave was literally whimpering as he was watching his love licking him clean. Martin stood up and laid David onto the bed.

“Ahh… what’re you up to, Mart?” he moaned digging his fingers into the blonde tufts.

Meanwhile without a word and in a very cooperative way I took off the trousers, boxer, shoes and socks of our exhausted lover. Martin was getting rid off his shirt.

“Aren’t you tired, David? We don’t want to wear you off, honey” Martin asked gently as he lay down next to him.

Dave buried his head into Curly’s shoulder “I’m tired Martin, but I’d die if I couldn’t spend this night with you two. It’s so moving that you love me this much, although… I… don’t think I deserve it.”

“How wouldn’t you deserve it, David? You’re our sun, you keep us alive!” I answered.

Mart’s idea to go to a party was nowhere now… No, we’d rather focus all of our attention on Dave now, who looked at us so gratefully that I couldn’t swallow.

“Dave, don’t look at me like this, or else I’ll cry…” I noted quietly.

“How do I look at you, Mia?”

“Like a lost puppy, who’d found a nice family.”

“I feel exactly like that. You’re able to love me and accept me with all of my ugly mistakes. You love me, your panther and you don’t love my masks and roles, you really love me. You can believe me that this has been rare in my life. And I thank you – I’m awfully grateful for this. As you knocked on my door and fell into my neck… And I know that although you two love each other too, you’re jealous at each other because of me, but you can solve this difficult situation, cuz you know that I love you both very much.”

“The advantages and disadvantages of a love-triangle…” I stroked along his thigh smiling.

“We love you too Dave, you know this well” Martin noted caressing Dave’s face. I had to nod to this.

“Martin, it seems that it’s easier and easier for you to say this to me” he caressed his arm with a smile “A few months or even weeks earlier you didn’t dare to say it…”

“Neither did you. See? Mia has a good effect on us.”

I nuzzled closer to Dave and I started caressing his neck, face and chest. He was enjoying it with a smile on his face and he pulled me even closer to him. Oh god, how good it was being with him!

“I love being with you two…” I whispered in a barely audible voice as I buried my face into his neck with closed eyes and my fingers continued caressing the soft and warm skin of his chest.

\---

Then my closed eyes had remained closed. I don’t know what they were doing or not. As I was lying between them, I woke up next morning from the sun’s warm beams. Dave was on his tummy – like always. Mart on his side, nearly on his back – like nearly always. I was just watching them as they were sleeping there soundly. Mart was huffing quietly and Dave murmured something in his dream. I smiled – I was rolling in their bodies’ heat and wrapped it around me like a soft and warm blanket. I loved such minutes when just their breathing and the ticking of the clock broke the morning room’s silence. One of my hands was resting on Dave’s back, the other on Mart’s arm, which was hugging me to him by my tummy. I was waiting for them to wake up. I was lying there calmly; it was just disturbing a bit that I had to pee, but I didn’t care. I was sure if I move, they’ll wake up – or at least Martin – so I tried to man myself and I stayed there motionless, feasting my eyes with this amazing sight.

I was feasting and feasting my eyes, but they didn’t want to wake up and I really had to go to the loo. So I’ve decided that I’ll climb out from their embraces, no matter what. As I moved Mart’s hand, he growled in his sleep. He could sleep so alerted. I waited for a minute so he could sink back deeper then I continued climbing off the bed. Well yes, when you must go then you must go… My last steps were hasty then I landed on the porcelain just in time and if I was already there then I’ve decided to have a shower too. When I stepped out from the cabin, someone pushed a towel in my hand. It was Dave – smiling sweetly and yawning – with his free hand he was scratching his tummy.

“I just can’t get enough of you” I laughed into his neck. My breath tickled him, cuz he started giggling on an unlikely tone.

“I’m very, very ticklish there” he squeaked and tried to get free from my embrace.

“Hmmm… really?” my eyes flashed with an evil light “You mean this spot?” I grinned questioningly then I gently breathed onto the ticklish spot. He quickly pulled his shoulders up and tried to suppress his laugh. “Hahaaa! So it’s true!” I gave him a devilish grin again then one of my hands, which were around his neck, found the place and started tickling it.

“Not this way. Just when you do it with your mouth” he pulled me to him and kissed me, embracing my waist tightly. Then he suddenly let go of me “Well it’s time for you to go” he smacked at my butt.

“But Dave…” I protested.

“I can’t pee if you’re standing here, watching me.”

“And? Okay, okay, I go before something bad happens” I giggled.

I quietly got dressed then bent to Martin, who seemed to sleep still. I wanted to give a kiss onto his temple, but he growled and embraced my waist so I had to put my whole weight on him – which wasn’t too much nowadays.

“What are all these clothes on you?” he asked grimly.

“Well Mart… I know that sometimes we three think about things… haha… in a very different way, but usually people wear clothes – especially during daytime.”

“But this early? Why don’t you lay next to me for a little while before you go?” he murmured still on a sleepy voice “Let me smell your scent! It always calms me down.”

“Why are you nervous? You just woke up…” I noted.

“Bad dreams” he shrugged “Hey… come!”

“Okay, but just for a minute. After it you should pull yourself together too, cuz Anton called you at least three times. You’re lucky that it was just on vibrating mode” I climbed back into his arms with my clothes on.

\---

Mart went back to sleep soon between my arms and Dave came out of the bathroom too “Kitty, I go to run now. Do you want to join me?”

“Are you kidding? Since the wheel was invented I don’t put energy into such things.”

“But it’s good – it releases you from the tension.”

“Are you tense, sweetie?”

“I’m always tense a bit. I’m that nervous kinda guy, you know. I was hyperactive even as a child. I’m full of energy.”

“I saw it last night on the concert. You were amazing.”

“You’re sweet” he leant down and kissed me then he left the room with his long steps, closing the door behind him. There were just the two of us – Mart was sleeping again and I felt that pressure in my head, which never disappeared completely since my last illness. Dave’s right – tension is a bad thing. It’s high time to ease it and this headache too. But not with running, that’s for sure.

I climbed out of the bed and stepped to my bag. I opened my first aid kit, which was full of painkillers – they were from the strong ones, from that kind which doctors use on such patients whose system couldn’t take it anymore and who died and came back like Lazar. I took two pills without any water – I’ve got used to it that I don’t have water with me all the time. I was a bit worried, cuz the prescribed medicines contained morphine. But I always let it pass, cuz after a few minutes the pressure in my head was better and the clench in my chest eased too. Who had pain which was caused by angina knows how fucking scary it can be. And for me, who just came back from death, it was way too much to bear.

Instead of relief – knowing what was waiting for me on the other side – I was fucking scared of death… To ease my distress I took tranquilizers too – next to the painkillers. And before concerts – to stand it better – I took amphetamine too, which animated me. So I knew that what I was doing was dangerous, but knowing that something’s dangerous doesn’t mean that you avoid it cleverly. Sometimes humans are so weak and helpless, they can’t make an effort.

Until now it never crossed my mind that I can get used to the pills, but the day before yesterday David noted that he thinks that I take too much painkillers. And then I realized that he was right. I start and end the day with it. Shit, who cares, I thought. Somehow I must keep up with the tempo of my new life. So I stepped to the table and lifted Mart’s glass to my lips – I knew what was in it. With two or three big sips I took the tranquilizer too. I immediately started to crawl all over and I laid down next to Martin. We had a day off today…

\---

Dave came back after an hour then he quickly had a shower to wash down the sweat. He was wiping his hair with a towel and he had a little smile on his face as he was watching the sleeping couple. Martin was lying on his side, resting his right arm on Mia’s back, who was sleeping on her stomach as she turned her head towards the window. Dave felt his love for them harder now as he was watching them. The running refreshed him, he was full of energy again. He walked closer to the bed.

As he sank into his thoughts, the smile faded away from his face seeing how pale Mia was. Martin’s hand was resting on her narrow back. Oh god, she’s still so thin… She wasn’t really able to pull herself together since the hospital, he said for himself. He was often thinking about that Mia, whom they got to know, comparing to the one who was with them now. He saw how much she’d changed. He felt sorry, cuz he knew that this life is much more stressful than the previous one she had, but he knew that she had the chance to choose another way. After Copenhagen she had the choice to go home, but she chose them.

He didn’t want to wake them. He was thinking of what to do – after a few moments he picked a T-shirt and jeans and went down to the restaurant to have a nice breakfast. His daily fight had begun. In the elevator one of the two women started staring at him when he stepped in. As he stepped out of the lift and crossed the hall, he felt that some people turned after him and they whispered behind his back. When he sat down and looked up from the menu, he saw that a young couple – a few tables away – were whispering, looking towards his direction time after time.

“I’m glad they haven’t decided to come over and jog me with a stick so they can decide whether I’m real or just a wax statue…” he murmured to himself. He lifted his gaze resignedly onto the waiter, who – thank god – was an older man, who probably had no clue what Depeche Mode was. He was relieved and ordered. He asked for a lot of coffee, croissant, soft-boiled eggs and his favourite: Norwegian salmon, smoked on cold hardwood.

\---

At the time Dave arrived back, Martin was already dressed up, sitting on the bed and stroking Mia’s back. “I have bad news, Dave” he looked up at him, who immediately glimpsed at Mia “No, not about her” Blondie smiled for a moment.

“Then? Just tell me, don’t spare me.”

“John called a few minutes ago. Although we have a day off, you know that half of the crew have started packing and they’re on their way to Europe.”

 

“Yes, and?” he walked to his bag to put a few things away. They’ll go to the airport tonight.

“There were some problems by the border and then when they finally arrived to Spain there was an accident on the highway and one of our trucks crashed over.”

“Fuck! Is someone dead?”

“No, no. The windscreen cut the driver’s face, that’s all, but nearly all of the loudspeakers and one of the audio-mixers are busted.”

“Fuck! Fuck! What do we do now?!”

“Poor Andy is already trying to arrange loaning the missing stuffs, but it’s not easy, cuz we’ll need them not just in Spain, but we want to use them around the half of the world.”

“How many days?”

“Thank god, two more days. We have time, don’t make a fuss!”

“Don’t make a fuss? John? Is he suing the guys on that border?”

“No, it wasn’t their fault. And even if the driver is responsible, we can fuck this fact. Relax, it was covered against such accidents.”

“Mart, the sound settings! This is crazy! You know that our technicians had been adjusting them for weeks before the start of the tour to have a perfect sound!”

“Well they’ll have enough work with it now too, that’s for sure.”

“What a nice and calm day off…” Dave noted with a cloudy look as he was crawling in the room “Who the hell wanted such plus stress?!”

“Try to calm down, everything’ll be fine.”

“How do you know, Mart?! Fuck! Why do things like these always happen?!”

“Please Dave, don’t shout at me…” he looked up at him.

“Uhh… alright, I’m sorry. I’m just freaking out from this.”

I came round in a very slowly and sleepy way, hearing Dave’s nervous voice. I think the medicine and booze couple knocked me out for a while, but at least none of my bodyparts hurt now. Except my head.

“Mia, are you alright?” Mart asked with worry in his voice. He saw that his glass, which was full of whisky earlier, was now half-way empty.

“Yeeep” I yawned, feeling still dizzy from the sleep.

Dave was crawling nervously back and forth in the room and he accidentally pushed my bag and it landed on the floor. Everything fell out of it. He automatically bent down to put the things back into it then he suddenly stiffened and stood up with a lot of papers in his hand.

“What’s this, Mia?” he asked on a dark tone.

“What?”

And then he pushed at least 20 recipes under my nose, which I’ve collected for emergency cases, if I’d run out of… I couldn’t answer, cuz he pulled me up and started to shake me by my shoulders.

“What’re you doing? Mia, don’t you see what you’re doing?!” he shouted at me.

“Leave me alone, Dave!” I said, still a bit stuporous, and my head moved slightly forward. It seems that the whiskey for my morning doze was too much “No, don’t hurt me, Dave” I squeaked as he was dragging me into the bathroom. He pulled me in front of him by the washbasin, pressed me to his body, he pulled my head backwards a bit and pushed his toothbrush down my throat. I’ve started vomiting.

“You’re insane!” he hissed meanwhile “What’re you doing? I love you darling, don’t do this! Why’re you doing this?”

I couldn’t answer cuz I was still puking, while my struggle to break free from his strong arms remained useless. From the strain my tears rolled down my face, but instead of protesting I was able just to whimper. After another few spasms I propped myself on the edge of the basing, shaking and felt that my love embraced my body hotly into his and I felt his tears on my neck. He didn’t say a word just breathed raggedly and I felt his body shaking while he was holding me. Meanwhile Martin called our own doctor, who hurried into the bathroom and gave me an injection immediately.

“I’m fine… I’m okay, I’m fine!” I protested stubbornly when they wanted to put me in bed and I really felt myself better a bit “Leave me alone!”

Martin tried to calm me and I saw from the corner of my eyes that Dave was still trying to pull himself together in the bathroom. He wiped his hears away then I barely paid attention to Martin’s silly sentences and I was watching Dave with suspicion in my eyes when he stepped to my bag and with a grossed-out expression he started picking up my meds and tranquilizers.

“What are you doing?!” I shouted at him, nearly jumping out of bed, but Martin grabbed me by my shoulders and held me back “Leave them alone! Those are mine!” I was really frightened that he takes them away. I wasn’t thinking, I was just scared that it’ll hurt again if I have no painkillers.

Dave didn’t say a word just waved with his eyes to Martin to hold me firmly then he went into the bathroom with all of my meds and kicked the door shut behind him. I heard him flush the toilet and heard as he started raging behind the shut door. I heard his muffled cursing and heard as he was kicking the walls and the door with all of his strength. I was so scared that I didn’t even try to get my meds back.

He opened the door and looked at me with anger in his eyes. He stepped to the bed – he wanted to say something – then he just shook his head and left the room. I’ve started crying because he was angry with me and he’d left. Martin tried to calm me but it was useless. I broke fee and fling the door open to run after him. He was standing there next to the door, leaning to the wall.

“Don’t think that after this I’ll leave you alone even for a minute. Or I’ll leave you alone with Mart. Mia, I smelled the whiskey when you were puking, I saw the remains of the pills! Why? We love you!”

“You were loved back then too.”

“That was me. And no, I wasn’t loved like this and I wasn’t able to love like this either as I love you and Martin now. I’ll be always with you, I’ll be your shadow. I don’t care what other people’ll say. My wife already knows about it.”

“WHAAAAT?”

“I haven’t told you. She didn’t say where she’d seen it, but she knew a lot of things… It’s oblivious she knows it. She thinks it’s about the sex. She bowed to it and this isn’t the first time. But she can’t see it clearly. That poor woman has no idea… how much we three have fouled with each other. I fell in love with you. I love Martin. I don’t want and I don’t see a way out of this – we are trapped. In each other’s traps – and we offered our necks willingly. Mia, I swear, I’ll kill myself, if something happens to you! Next time you take pills into your hand remember this.”

I looked at him and I saw… I knew… it was an unbearable feeling to know that he would really do that. I nodded powerlessly, holding on to the doorframe as I bent my head so my matted hair could hide my teary face. I leaned against the wall with my side and slid onto the floor and pulled my legs up. The possibility of loosing Dave paralyzed me completely. He’d really do it because of me.

“Don’t be mad at me…” I whimpered nearly squeaking, but in a very low tone.

“Why did you do this?” he asked nearly on a neutral tone and it didn’t matter that my head was bent, I could feel the weight of his look as he was looking down at me.

“Cuz… cuz it hurts… it still hurts” I breathed and my tears were still flowing. I didn’t know whether he heard it or not, I was just staring at the floor with a glassy gaze.

“What hurts, sweetie?” he sat down next to me on the corridor. The elevator opened and closed, people stepped in or out of it. They were staring at us, but this time Dave really didn’t give a damn, he embraced my shoulders. He didn’t lift his head even when three fans stopped next to us, shaking their heads in disbelief seeing us like this. I saw the line of his jaw hardening from the defiance inside of him, I saw his sad eyes, which knew very well that he can’t step out of the world’s tread-wheel. I saw the ‘I’ll show you’ expression on his now boyish face as he leant to me and kissed me there – paying no attention to anyone but me. He was against anything and everything now. The next day we were in the newspapers.


	36. Chapter 36

36.

We returned to Europe. We spent two days in Madrid. The papers were still writing crazy stuff about us. Of course I was the bad bitch, who seduced the “perfect husband”, not thinking of his 8 year old little girl, Rosie, or of his wife, Jen.

I was standing worried in front of a window, which was bathing in the sunrise’s light.

What’ll turn out of this? – I asked myself. Ruining Dave’s marriage wasn’t my purpose and I didn’t know how Jennifer reacted on this news. I think she took it badly. If I was here, I’d come here to slap myself on the face. I was very ashamed of myself – and mainly because of my med problems. I was wondering whether I just imagined the pain as slowly I turned into a junkie. Then I realized that I couldn’t decide it. I felt the pressure in my chest again, so I fisted my hand. And I knew that the only thing I had to do was to take two pills and the pain was nowhere again… But no! Dave… I can’t let him… I frowned. I’d rather suffer than see him die. I continued musing when the vibrating of my cell dragged me back from my dark thoughts. The phone was ringing without a sound in my jeans’ back pocket, so I couldn’t wake them up.

For a moment I let my eyes linger on them. Dave’s left hand was resting on the middle of the bed, where I was laying minutes ago before I’ve got dressed. I couldn’t sleep from the guilt and from other motivations I wanted to obey. They really didn’t leave me for a moment, just when it was really necessary and Dave had to go. I suspected that Dave didn’t trust Martin completely. As if he was faulty because of my own stupid things. Bullshit.

I stepped out quietly from the room and went to the other and of the suite then stepped out to the balcony.

“Yes?” I asked after I looked at the unfamiliar number on the screen.

“Congratulations, Mia, you push your fortune!” I heart the familiar, cynical tone.

“Cornelia?!” I froze from the voice I couldn’t have heard for the last 3 years.

“Yes me. I’ve read that you lay in the good bed again” he answered not so kindly. My heart sank.

“You called me just to offend me?” I asked quietly.

“I called you to congratulate. You haven’t changed as I see. Ruining marriages is your specialty?” she asked coldly.

“Cornelia…”

“Just like a black widow… And now that you’re ruining your Mr. Gahan’s life too, you’ll leave him behind too?”

I hold my breath. My older sister always grained me down. She was the favourite, the firs born child, who managed to do everything from just one try, who did everything right. And I did everything wrong and I was stumbling in her footsteps. Maybe unconsciously I seduced her husband because of this? From petty-minded revenge… yes, maybe. I so…

“Cornelia, I’m sorry because what I’ve done to you. I regret it. I don’t want you to think about me as your enemy anymore. I’d like to make peace with you…”

An ironic and bitter laugh was the answer.

“To make peace?” Little Mia, you’re so late. You failed in my eyes for forever when you decided to lie under my husband – I’ve told you this when I caught you at fault! And my opinion is the same since then. Mom was very ‘proud’ of you when she saw the pictures of you with your singer in the newspapers… What an unlucky gimp he is! I can just pity him cuz he doesn’t know whom he let into his bed…”

“Please, don’t insult him…”

“Why not? I bet you were good at him and he buys anything you want. You’re quite a good pinup bitch, sweetie! I’ve heard that you’ll be even on their coming live DVD. You had to give a blow job for that Gore, too?” she spluttered belligerently “Hah, you’re great in that – I’ve seen it…”

I felt the anger rising in me. And the inexplicable “fear”, which I felt towards my sister for long years, was nowhere now. This surprised me. Anger washed even the remains of it.

“How do you dare to speak like this when you don’t know in what kind of situation I’m in?!” I shouted, loosing my patience.

“Why? After all these news they don’t want you to be their bitch?”

“Shut up, Cornelia! I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later…”

“Oh come on, Mia. You can’t say anything that could offend me anymore. I can just despise you. I hope they’ll make you pregnant then they’ll leave you behind! Just feel the pain I’ve felt because of you! Then get exasperated and die! I wish this for you from my whole heart as a last wish!” he shouted with such evil anger, which I’ve never heard from anyone yet. My heart and soul sank and tears started welling up in my eyes, but I managed to hold them back.

“What kind of last wish? What’re you talking about?” I pressed my teeth together.

 

“You won’t hear from me in my life anymore!”

“What?”

“I have serious cancer, sweetie. And I know it’s because of you! Yes, because of you! Your own sisters’ death will lie on your head!”

“But… No!” I moaned and couldn’t breathe as I grabbed the thick stone-ledge of the balustrade “It can’t be cured? Is it sure?”

“It’s as incurable as the hatred I feel towards you” and she hung up.

I was just standing there, staring at the cell phone in one hand and I had the last fucking strong full box of tranquilizers. I’ve hidden them somewhere else so they couldn’t find it. I closed my eyes and I felt that it’d be so great to take all of them – then I’d be calm forever. I though of David, I was crying and my hand was shaking when I opened the box and started pushing the meds into my palm – every one of them. I couldn’t see or hear, I was just pushing them into my palm. Suddenly someone stopped my hand and I lifted my gaze.

“I won’t let it, my love. No matter what happened, I won’t let it. We’re on the road of fights and we’ll come along and win the war together.”

I looked into his eyes where I could she sad but massive flames of his love and I let him twist my wrist so the poison landed on the floor. I’ve heard them landing, I felt Dave’s grab on my wrists, which were nearly hurting now, but what was this pain compared the one I felt in my soul? I grabbed his white T-shirt desperately sobbing into it, hiding my face in his chest, which’s familiar scent filled my noserills.

“She… she’ll… die!” I moaned sobbing “It’s my fault! Don’t… don’t let it happen! Don’t let me… no… don’t!” I whimpered incoherently.

“Later you’ll tell me, now you come with me” he took my hand and dragged me to the doc’s room, who doesn’t even sigh when he spotted us. Lately we met a lot. I’ve got a tranquilizing injection – from the kind which won’t cause dependency and Dave took me back to my room.

“Where’s Martin?” I asked.

“He tries to fix things. You know a truck fell over – full of our studs – and a lot of things has to be replaced. I think he’ll be soon on his knees to get the loaned stuffs. And Jonathan looks like someone who hasn’t slept for a week now. So we have a lot of problems” he sighed.

“Dear Dave and you fight with me, when Depeche is…”

“Mia, don’t leave me here! I beg you, don’t!”

“I… I won’t.”

“If I hadn’t come out, you’d be gone right now!”

I didn’t answer, I was just swallowing my tears as I was sitting on the edge of the bed, folding my hands in my lap. I was just watching his hand, which was holding my forearm. I was staring at the veins on his hand, the tattoo on his forearm and I wasn’t thinking for a few minutes, just one thing came into my mind: I was useless. I upset everything and everybody just to ruin them….

“Dave… why am I here? How can I expect of you two to attend to me?” I asked.

“Mia…”

“No, I’m serious…” I looked at my left so I could find his eyes.

“Mia, if you don’t know why then I can go. You have to see why. We suffered a lot for each other, kitty. You see it started easily then we got bitten over each other and now it hurts – everything what happens hurts – although no much had changed, just the feeling that now we have something to lose – we can lose much, we can lose each other. Tell me what’d happened!”

And I’ve told him – my sister, my fears, my pains. He was listening to me for a long time, paying attention, then he pulled me to him and laid me down on bed.

“Now you’ll sleep” he decided it and I really fell asleep in his hugging arms.

\---

I think those were the hardest and darkest days of my life. I was just lying in Dave’s arms after two hours sleep. My eyes were lifeless, staring somewhere far. It was a long time ago since I’ve felt myself this sad and empty. My head was filled with dark and painful thoughts – I was blaming myself.

“I’ve never said that it’ll be easy” Dave caressed me when he noticed that I was awake.

“Well it isn’t” I sighed.

“Never mind, kitty. Now we go swimming. I made you a training schedule – a strict agenda for every day – you won’t have time for self-destructing thoughts. This had helped me too. If there was anything good in visiting every fucking corner of Hell it was this: helping other people, who end up like me. And of course tonight you’ll sing. No protesting! I was singing even when I couldn’t see the fans’ face in the first row – I was so high because of heroine. You must do it, you must respect your work, our work. You do it for me, for Martin, for yourself and because you appreciate it and you love DM. Come on! Stand up!” he jogged me.

First I didn’t want to move, but the weight of his gaze forced me to obey. He wouldn’t have left me alone anyway. I slowly put on my bikini and let him lead me by his hand to the pool, which was just ours. After a few lengths I grabbed the edge of the pool and waited him to approach me.

“Dave, what’ll we do with the press? Did Jen call you?” I asked quietly.

“She called. She called me on many names – except a human.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t, just love me. I don’t want to pat my shoulder, but I couldn’t bear it anymore. I had to decide: to bear the responsibility of our relationship or not. Although we’re three here, the lines are getting slowly clear. I want you Mia and you belong to me.”

“But… what’ll we do now?”

“I try to appease her and I don’t know what’ll come. Time will tell.”

“Haven’t she threaten you with leaving you?”

“Well she threatened me with many things, but not with this. I’ve told you that poor Jen doesn’t know or understand the half of the things here and I hope that moment won’t come ever!”

“She just can’t accept your relationship with Mart.”

“No, there’s no way she can. But this’d be the situation with our threesome too. She’s something different – she’s purer than me – she can see things from another, a clearer perspective. And please don’t ask then why I’m not with her! You cannot know or understand this – neither do I. You remember: "I have to believe that sins makes a better man...". The love between us three is wonderful and special although it can’t fit into any average, tagged categories. And beyond the sensual desires it really is a clean feeling. I love him with love – I had to realise this, I had to confess it to myself too. He knows this a long time ago, this is why he had been suffering this much because of me. And you – don’t say you aren’t a pure woman, you are. You went to search for Mart when you were ill, you comforted me. You loved me. Right? You didn’t do it because of some own interests. Believe me, you are purer than a lot of depraved upper-class snobbish wives with the mask of chastity on their faces and with dripping viciousness in their hearts, sitting next to their superannuated rich husbands, whom they hate and are grossed out from them, and whom they torture in a sophisticated way. Mia, don’t listen to the evil world’s voices! Listen to me, sweetie. Like in the tale: you’re mine and I’m yours. At least let’s lie this honestly to each other, and most of all let’s lie to each other that we believe this.”

Inside I let his words circulate. He was right in many things, but there were things I saw in a different way. It’s true that love made me do what I’ve done, but I didn’t feel myself as a pure woman. I was far from it, but I didn’t say it aloud. It was enough that I knew it. It was enough just to think on my past and my sister, who hates me. My sister… I still couldn’t believe that she hates me this much. That she’ll die. I sighed and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to cry again. I was fed up with my tears.

“So then let’s clear something” he lifted my chin with his hand “Do you love me?”

“I love you.”

“Fine. With this you’ve decided not to drink alcohol or take meds. If you love me this is the rule you have to follow – of course it’s for both of us. Did you notice that I never take any pills even when I’m nervous or my head aches – cuz sometimes it does hurt? This isn’t a coincidence.”

“And Martin? What’ll be with Mart? He drinks so much.”

“He’s different. He’s not you. He has been doing this for 35 years and it was fucking hard for me too to stop it, because it was a very long time ago since I had a sober life – or I’d rather say that I never knew what it felt like being sober. But you’re different, you’ve started this just one or two months ago and it’s over now. I’ve decided this and if you want me then this is the way it is!! I’ll try to help Martin too, but you know, old fox doesn’t learn new tricks. I do the same with him too. If there’s a cause why he is able not to sink too deep then it’s me. Did you see that he hasn’t knocked himself out for weeks now? I know that he does drink, but believe me, the amount does count. If you pull yourself together and you’re in, we can give him a call and try to help him too.”

“Of course I want to help him, cuz I love him too” I smiled at him weakly “And… I accept your conditions, although I know it won’t be easy to keep myself to them – especially at the beginning.”

“Sadly it’s true, but I trust you and I know that you’ll be able to fight the temptation” he took my face between his hands to wipe away the few waterdrops.

I nodded “Heal me, Dave… heal me…” I whispered hugging him, resting my chin on his shoulder as I shut my eyes tightly.

My heart was still aching from the sadness I felt, but I knew that even he wasn’t able to wipe it out of there with his steadiness. I think my eyes weren’t the same. I felt as if something went wrong in me. I knew that Dave’s next purpose was to free me from my med-addiction. Then we can help for Martin together. But Cornelia’s phone call was still chewing my heart. I didn’t move for long minutes. I was still watching the waving water behind his back as I asked quietly the question, which was bugging me for a while now:

“You… what do you think of my sister’s call?”

“I think she shouldn’t have talked to you like this, although I don’t know the exact circumstances. Why did her husband cheat on her with you?” he asked carefully.

“Cuz it was a fussy revenge. Back then I was too stupid to think through what kind of avalanche I can start with wrapping her husband around my finger…” I sighed a big one, still motionless “I thought, I can fight back with this for living in her shadow. I confess, I was jealous of her. It’s such a stupid human attitude…” I laughed shortly and bitterly “I think, you didn’t know how it feels like growing up in someone’s shadow. Maybe no one else can understand it why I wanted to take revenge for everything she’d done against me… Well… I’ve succeeded. Now she and my mother hate me too. My dad had died in my eyes when I was a child and my mother took always Cornelia’s side. I was alone against them.”

“I’m sure it was though” he stroked my back.

“Don’t get me wrong – I got on with life. I’ve quickly learn how to take care of myself, counting only on my own strength. There hadn’t been open fights between us. And I loved, I love them still – in my own way. I just can’t bear the thought that someone hates me. I think this is my nature. I’m too hungry for love” I made a bitter face.

“Well then I know exactly what you’re talking about. There were times when I was begging for love. I was able to crawl on the floor for it. My second marriage – well, looking back at it – wasn’t a beautiful experience! But of course I should have known that women like strong guys, whom they can rely on. And often I wasn’t… I am not like that. Maybe this is why I cling to you and I fear you in the same time.”

“David, you? You fear me?”

“Why? It hurts when someone crushes your heart and I jump from every stupid thing, I’m fucking sensitive.”

“Sensitive, yes, but it doesn’t mean to me that you’re weak!” I protested as I pulled back a bit so I could look into his eyes again “If you were weak then you wouldn’t be this firm with me in this med-addiction thing. You wouldn’t make me puke in the bathroom. No, you acted immediately. David, sweetheart, you’re a firm and strong man, who has a soft and beautiful heart in the same time…” I stroked his face “And David, I fear you too. I’m afraid of giving myself completely to you, cuz…”

“… you want to say that I can never be fully yours, right?”

“Right.”

“Maybe it’s good. It keeps our relationship alive, cuz we fight for reaching this all the time. We must be satisfied with what we have. Just one step at a time. Here and now, okay? As a first step let’s go up to my room, okay? Did we mention hunger for love? I want to nuzzle to you kitty, feeling the heat of your body, listening to your breaths in my neck and feeling your heart beats under my palm.”

“I think there’s nothing which could prevent us from doing this” I smiled softly and kissed him gently. Then for a minute I was just looking into his wonderful eyes. I let him take my hand, pulling me out of the pool. He dried my body with a towel then he took me up to his room.

“When’ll Mart come back?” I asked as I stepped out of the bathroom, letting my wet hair fall onto my shoulders and back and I looked down at him as he was lying on the bed.

“I don’t know, I call him, give me a minute” he took his cell into his hand. After maybe the 20th ringing he picked it up and we could hear a tired voice on the other end of the line. Dave covered the speaker and whispered to me “I’ll cheer him up, watch!” and he pulled his hand away “Hi sweetie, I miss you. Where are you?” he whispered into the phone on a low tone. On the other end of the line there was silence. It was clear that Dave had never done this with him before. Dave was grinning like mad. After a while we heard an enormous sigh:

“DAVID?”

“Who else, my friend? Come here, we need you! Now!”

Martin started stuttering, which he never did before in my presence “Dave, I’m on a meeting now and…”

“Oh come on! Wave goodbye to them and come here, we are waiting for you with Mia” Dave ended the conversation and turned to me “See? Now he’s excited not just because of the stuffs we have to loan” he laughed “And by the way it’s true, I miss him.”

“I miss him too.”

“Stupid stuff! I tell Kessy to take this whole problem into his hand, cuz Martin’s batteries are low.”

I laughed from Kessler’s nickname as I lay down next to him in my soft bathrobe. I was watching him as he called John, who promised that he’ll take care of it. Dave put his cell down with a satisfied smile.

“I think Blondie needs just half an hour before he arrives” he smiled.

“I think I can bear it. Barely” I smiled back, hugging his chest with one hand “I want to put my hands onto his soft skin” I sighed.

“Uh-uh, he really has soft skin. And he smells so good” Dave answered while he nestled himself into my arms. He was hugging me so tightly! Although I knew it wasn’t willingly, he just caressed me. How hard his muscles are, I thought. What a wonderful guy I have here in my arms! Yeah, he’s not 30 anymore, but who cares? I looked at his body over his head, which was resting on my shoulder. I felt his hot breath tickling my throat. His body has a great anatomy, I mused. It wasn’t a coincidence that the term ‘he’s as beautiful as a sculpture’ comes into my mind when I look at him. I started kissing his temple and he was purring gratefully and hugged me even closer.

“What do you want to do to Martin, Dave? Would you tell me?”

“Well, first we should greet him” he murmured “for example with a hot kiss” he smiled.

“And?”

“Then we should take his clothes off – because of the heat of course.”

“And?”

“He’s surely tired, I can lay him down on the bed, he…”

“… has to rest…”

We were shaking from laughter now.

“Yeah, he needs to rest… But we should pamper him a bit too, cuz he was running a lot because of the band” he stroked the sleeve of my robe up and he started drawing small circles onto my forearm, which caused goose bumps all over my body. I knew he noticed them on my arm, but it didn’t disturb me. I rather stroked along his back lazily.

“Yeah, he deserves this…” I answered and sighed from the nice heat of his body.

“Hmm… it only depends on us that after it he goes out into the bathroom with shaking legs, putting a ciggy into the corner of his mouth” Dave grinned and he gave me a spectacular show what he could do with his tongue. He didn’t even touch me, but I thought I’d die there as I was watching him mesmerized.

“What? You want some too?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Do you want to be the first taster?” he turned his head towards me and leant closer so our lips were nearly touching now.

“Sure I want to be” I put my left hand onto his face “Once the lords had such tasters during the history, cuz they were frightened that something too poisonous could touch their lips” I caressed his skin with my fingertips. I felt his stubbles and from his scent and gaze my lower tummy wrung together.

“And what do you think? Is Martin frightened?” he leant even closer, but he pulled his head playfully back before I could kiss him.

“No… I don’t think so… But I’m afraid that you won’t show me how poisonous your lips are…” I answered hoarsely from desire and my eyes were darkening.

“Let me hear it! Say it!”

“What should I say?”

“You know! I want to hear it from you!”

“David, I want you!” I moaned into his ear.

“It’s so much better now that I know it” he panted into my ear as he rolled over me.

“Is this some aphrodisiac for you? You always making us say how desirable you are?” I slid my hand down his back and onto his waist, reaching his dark-grey boxer then I grabbed his fine little ass, which made him moan and he went for my robe’s belt.

“Yeah. I love to hear that. It’s music to my ears.”

“I want you, I want you, I want you, I want you…”

“Enough, thanks” he smiled “I want you too.” He redid my belt nicely “And now we hold ourselves back until our hearts blonde prince arrives. Let him show how much we want him.”

“You’re such a tease, Dave!”

“I’ll tell you jokes until he arrives, okay?” he asked hopefully.

“Okay” I sighed. Dave has a special humour and very lame jokes.

But of course I couldn’t stop myself and I touched him in the most unexpected moments and enjoyed seeing as he got lost in his jokes from these touches. I ran my fingers time after time over the V-line of my robe on my chest - ‘without any back thoughts’ of course - which he was following with lust in his eyes.

“Mia!” he moaned on a warning tone, interrupting one of his stories.

“What?” I asked with the most innocent look I was able to produce from my dirty self.

“Remember? We want to surprise Curly! And not with finding me on you as I scream my dizzying orgasm into the world!”

“DDDaviid, oh god, say it again!”

“What, sweetie? That Martin finds me on you as…” he leant to my ear and went on whispering “I scream my dizzying orgasm into the world as I cum hotly into you? Hmmmm?” he licked into my ear, which made my nipples hard. I moaned lustfully.

“You drive me crazy Dave, do you know it?”

“Sure I know it” he was biting my breasts and he roamed every curves of mine.

I nearly went insane. When I thought that I can’t take David’s caresses and dirty comments anymore, which he panted into my ear just because he knew I’d be able to cum just from his voice, there was finally a knock on the door.

He pulled his hands out from under my robe as quickly as if my skin had burned him. In the next moment I was panting on the bed alone. I looked at him confused as he hurried behind the door and waved with his eyes to invite Mart in.

“Come in!” I moaned hoarsely from desire.

Dave grinned evilly. So this was your goal? – I grunted inside and knew that as Martin stepped in he faced my eyes, which were glistening darkly from the lust I felt, while I was propping myself on my elbows, lying on the bed. Well, okay… let’s play, I thought and pulled one of my legs up so I could show him my naked thigh. With my right index-finger I started caressing my cleavage along the hem of my robe.

“Finally… I thought you’ll never get here… Ah… Marty…” I sighed lustfully, giving him a seducing look, from which I know Martin always melts onto the floor.

I saw him gasp for air. It was suddenly much warmer in the room. He didn’t notice Dave as he closed the door, not paying too much attention to it. He was staring at me, keeping the eye-contact, so Dave could sneak behind him unnoticed. But he didn’t touch Curly yet, who was looking at me with dry mouth. His body strained as desire washed over him and I saw that the question started forming in his head where Dave was, but for now he saw just me. And I let the soft fabric slide down from one of my shoulders.

Martin knelt onto the bed and in that moment two strong arms hugged him from behind. Mart moaned in his sweet delight. I just realised who was the one he wanted more this time. His face showed an unearthly yearning. He started shaking from David’s touch, who was gently kissing his neck or bit his nape roughly. In turns – again and again. And Martin slowly slid onto the bed…


	37. Chapter 37

37.

 

Right next to me, onto his tummy. And Dave lifted Curly’s hips to loosen his trousers. After the successful action he left his trousers there and tucked his T-shirt up on his back. Now he was able to stroke and kiss the bare white skin, softly biting down on it, while Martin turned his head toward me. I smiled with half-closed eyes, holding his look captive with mine. Two of my fingers disappeared between my legs just to slide my wet fingers into his mouth afterwards.

“Do you feel it, Marty, how badly I’ve missed you? How badly I want you?” I whispered looking right into his eyes. He gave me a darkening look and after it he grabbed my wrist, I felt that he started sucking my fingers eagerly, growling from the depths of his throat. I licked my dry lips as I watched him and somehow I sensed that meanwhile Dave tucked Mart’s trousers and underwear down, giving his kisses and bites onto his naked butt.

Martin closed his eyes and moaned as he let my hand go. I slid it onto my clit right away so I could softly moan too, watching his face. Martin was just lying there letting us to do whatever we wanted to do to him – and it was clear that Dave wanted a lot to do. He quickly got rid off his own clothes, never looking away from his friend. He threw every piece of Mart’s clothes onto the floor too and as he lay behind him, he hugged Mart to him from behind. Curly looked at him and there was everything in that gaze. His endless love and the happiness that Dave wanted him and that wild, sensual yearning he felt towards his panther-like love. Dave was already worked up, but seeing this look made his body shake and he tried very hard not to go for Marty right away – instead he started kissing him along his spine, holding him close to him.

He slowly went down to Martin’s waist and he was playing there with his tongue and teeth, stimulating Curly’s sensitive skin, which caused big moans from him. I had to touch them too – my free hand was sliding on Martin’s side or Dave’s naked thigh, ass, back and arm – it depended on what I could reach. I was rubbing myself with more courage now that my robe was open. When I stopped for a moment, both of my lovers growled at the same time:

“Continue it! It’s fucking exciting!”

I laughed and asked: “I’m here with such two divine guys and I have to take care of myself?”

“Temporarily yes, kitty” Dave sighed, looking at me just for one moment then while continuing he went back to decorate Mart’s back with his bites – the only way Curly was able holding back his loud moans was biting down on his own lips. “First I want to arrange some things with Martin…” Dave bit harder and I saw one of his hands disappear between his own legs, starting to play with himself.

After lifting my head a bit I had the proof that I was right and I had to grab my tit with my left hand, while the other was still rubbing my clit. I couldn’t wait to see my two beauties moving together, cuz I wanted to slide my fingers further down later. I wanted to push them inside in that very moment when Dave penetrates Mart…

It was unusual from David to show this much self-control, cuz instead of taking Martin in that very moment, he just bent Curly’s neck backwards so he could kiss him fiercely. I nearly went mad as I was watching the sharp contrast, which was made by Dave’s dark hair and Martin’s white skin. From the front I put one of my legs onto Mart’s hip, so he could see exactly what I was doing to myself. This was too much even for Dave and Mart whispered something into his ear. The answer was a loud and lust-filled moan. Dave nodded and lying behind Mart he carefully leant forward and penetrated him, hugging him close. And he wasn’t wild, he was rocking Martin gently, who was just groaning in his arms – Mart was fondling him with such words, I’ve never heard from him.

They were literally MAKING LOVE – like this, with capital letters. It was pure joy even just watching them, while I felt that a few strands of my hair stuck onto my face from the concentrating and the feelings which were intensifying inside of me. I opened my legs wider so I could sink deeper in me while I bit down on my lip and I closed my eyes for a moment, leaning my head backwards. I felt how wet and hot I was from their sight. First I slid two then three fingers inside me without any problems, going deeper and deeper, moving them gently in and out. I shot a hot gaze at them, sighing with half-closed eyes.

David’s breathing was getting ragged, it was clear that he was very close to his orgasm now. He waved just with his eyes towards Mart and I nodded. I slid further down and took Mart between my lips. He shut his eyes more tightly and grabbed my hair. Dave was chasing after completion even more until he started rattling from the depths of his throat. This was that very voice which always drove Mart and me mad – there was nothing more exciting than this deep, feral grunting with the quick panting. David was cumming. And for the two of us this was the most beautiful sound in the world.

Martin’s body shivered and he moaned over me, but he didn’t come, although he was close to his own release too. He wasn’t the one who was waiting for us all worked up… Dave continued kissing and biting Mart’s back - still panting - then he slowly slid out of him and rolled onto Blondie’s other side. Mart stopped me by my hair and took my wrist. When we were facing each other again, he pulled my fingers out of my own body and looking into my eyes he licked them one by one. Between my middle and ring finger he asked me on a hoarse and low tone: “Oh god, Mia… How can you be this delicious?”

I moaned from this question and arched my back, closing my eyes. That side-voice in his question made me gasp for air. After he was ready with my hand, he kissed me greedily and grabbed my waist to lift it, while he knelt between my thighs. He straightened up a bit and finally slid firmly and deeply into me. I cried out from the feeling and he did the same as he bent his head back and he remained motionless for a moment, enjoying the strokes of my hot groin. In this one moment I felt him getting even bigger inside of me, filling every little inch of me completely. From this I had to moan again and I reached over my head to grab the sheet firmly. And now he rushed too. There was no mercy. But we didn’t need any – the both of us wanted it to be quick and rough.

I squinted at Dave, the little beast was very close to falling asleep. He was blinking flatly as he was lying spread-eagled on his back. But the little devil in me couldn’t let him fall asleep while Martin was having his way with me, bringing me closer to my climax with every hard thrust. If I’d waited until Dave came then he has to wait for me too between my loud moans…

I couldn’t think straight anymore, cuz my whole body tensed from the long awaited orgasm and I screamed while I grabbed Dave’s forearm, digging my nails deep into his skin. My right hand scratched Martin’s back as I moved my hips roughly against him – and this caused a deep growl from him as he released into me, grabbing my hips nearly painfully.

There was no other sound than our panting. Dave didn’t mind the scratches, but he misunderstood me and he tired to stay awake – with not much success. He nestled himself to Mart from behind, hugged his waist and he was already asleep.

“You’re unbelievable!” Martin told me after some more panting.

“No… you’re unbelievable!” I protested, feeling his weight on me as he pinned me to the bed. I took his sweaty face between my hands.

“No…”

“But you are! No argument here!”

“Alright, alright” he laughed quietly then after planting a kiss onto my lips he went on with a bit more serious tone “I’m glad that I could see this much fire in you again.”

I sighed and I wanted to look away, but he kept my face in place with his fingers and he gave me another kiss – this time involving his tongue too. Then he looked into my eyes again. He didn’t need an answer to his sentence.

“And can you tell me what made you give this much attention to me?” he smiled and caressed my face.

“That wonderful thing which we call ‘love’” Dave murmured under his nose.

“David, sweetie, say it again!” Mart asked him.

“No. You’ve heard me, haven’t you? If I say it too often, you’ll get tired of hearing it.”

“No, darling, I can’t get tired of hearing this” he protested and leant to Dave, giving a peck onto his face. Mart stayed there between us, laying on his tummy – one hand resting on Dave, the other on me.

“How are you? Do you feel yourself better?” Mart asked. I stole a glance at Dave, who was watching me, but luckily he didn’t mention what I’ve done a few hours earlier. But his face clouded over from the thought.

“Now I feel better that I can be with you two” I confessed the truth. Of course I knew that there was the possibility that Dave tells Mart about my ‘nearly fatal overdose try’. I didn’t know how to feel about this, so I just stroked Martin’s arm, which he rested on my tummy.

“Good. Now I’m a bit relieved. You know, it was very scary to see as you struggled against my hold when Dave got rid off that trash.”

“Martin…”

“Yes?”

“Can we change the subject?” I asked quietly, avoiding their eyes.

“Sure, no prob. I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Well it’s not hard to do so now…” I noted as I sat up and even I could hear how clear the bitterness was in my voice.

“Did something else happen?” he put his hand on my forearm.

I sighed. “My sister’ll die” I bent my head down, pulling my legs up.

“Oh, sorry… I didn’t mean to… And Dave would you tell me what bothers you? There’s no need to deny it, I’ve been looking in your green eyes for the last 25 years! Hmm? Did something happen? Why are you holding back things from me?”

Dave put his arms under his head and started staring at the ceiling with a big sigh – he didn’t say a word.

“Jen. She knows about Dave and me” I said instead of him, hugging my knees.

“Oh god!” Martin looked at me shocked.

“Why are you this surprised? It would have turned out sooner or later anyway” Dave looked at him.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me on the corridor in front of your fans” I said “I don’t want to endanger this marriage too” I examined my toes.

“Well… ‘the damage is done’, right? There’s nothing we can do. I wanted to kiss you then and there – maybe I wanted to provoke it… I wanted us to commit ourselves, to show our relationship. Or you want to deny our relationship? Is loving me too problematic to you?” he snorted suddenly.

“I don’t want to argue with you” I said quietly.

“This isn’t an answer to my question!” he sat up too, propping himself on one hand. Martin – between us – looked at me and Dave in turns. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment.

“So it’s too problematic! And you manage to tell me this after all these things?”

“I didn’t tell you anything” I looked at him frowning “It’s not easy to love you two, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t want to love you or that I don’t love you at all. But it’s hard. I knew that it’ll be hard.”

“It’s so hard being with me that you just simply wanted to throw your life away, right? And you’d have left us here with Martin, letting us die from the pain! Thank you very much! Fuck our problematic relationship!” he jumped up off the bed and now he was shouting. He was right. He did a lot of things for me and I… But I was right too. Two Hungarian folksongs were on my mind:

 

Megtudta az egész világ, s minden rosszat reánk kiált."

“We should have loved so that no one knew about it,  
"Úgy kellett volna szeretni, hogy azt meg ne tudja senki,

The whole world came to know it, and it shouts every bad thing on us.”

 

But what I understood now because of my boys was true too and those were beautiful feelings:

 

Azt is tudom, hogy kell szépen szeretni."  
"Megtanultam sírni, szenvedni,

 

  
“I’ve learned how to cry, how to suffer,  
I know too how to love beautifully.”

I was too tired for arguing. I didn’t look at him, who was still fuming next to the bed, his hands in fists, waiting for me to say something. But I rather just sang these lines in Hungarian and when Martin asked me quietly to translate them, I did it. This was enough for Dave to calm down and sit onto the edge of the bed. We were sitting there quietly for a few minutes. Just the ticking of the clock was echoing in the half-light of the room.

“I know that I do a lot of mistakes – I have been always like this. I think, I have a skill to hurt those people, whom I love. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any harm. I was and I am in despair, so it’s not good to the vulnerable balance of my soul that you’re shouting with me like this” I said quietly “But I know that mainly you’re right. Remember? A short time ago you’ve said that I’m a pure woman, because for example I went after Martin in Copenhagen. Well I don’t feel pure. It was a very long time ago since I’ve felt myself pure. I’m rather a selfish goose, hungry for love, who’s afraid to be alone with her feelings” I broke out, hugging my knees nearly painfully.

“We feel the same – we just feel ourselves like ganders” Martin laughed bitterly.

I smiled faintly then carefully looked at them. “Do you hate me now?”

“Not at all, kitty!” Martin protested right away and looked at Dave for reassuring, who was staring at me with still dim eyes.

“Do you want to hear the truth, Mia? No, I don’t hate you. You just hurt me fucking badly. No, leave this, okay?” he pulled away when I wanted to stroke him. He stood up, picked up his towel and closed the bathroom’s door behind him.

I propped my elbows on my knees as I was huddled up on the bed and my fingers dug into my upper-arms painfully as I was holding myself together. I was afraid I’d fall apart again if I let myself go. The pressure in my chest started to grow again and my head started to ache from the strain.

“Everything’ll be alright, Mia” Martin whispered, stroking my naked back.

“Why must I always screw up everything?” I pressed through my teeth then stood up to get dressed.

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk.”

“I go with you, okay?”

“No. I want to be alone.”

“But… are you sure it’s a good idea?” he asked me on an unsure voice.

“I won’t kill myself, if you’re aiming at that” my face hardened and I dragged my T-shirt nervously over my head too “I’m sorry Martin that I screwed up our evening - your evening – again.”

\---

I didn’t go far, I was just walking on the nearby streets. Suddenly I felt an observing pair of eyes on my back. First I thought that someone was staring at me because of the stupid papers, but as I moved on, I realised that someone was following me. I’ve got frightened and I ran back to the hotel. As I was running on the corridor, I ran into Dave, who was talking with Andy in front of Fletch’s room.

“Jeez, David… Dave, someone was following me…”

“I know” he said quietly.

“What?”

“Sweetie, it was Darren. I asked him to do so. I don’t dare to leave you alone” he whispered into my ear so that Andy couldn’t hear it.

I swallowed down an ugly comment about trust and such things, but somewhere deep I knew that he was right. They were worried about me. They were worried that I’d do something stupid again.

“I see” I put my hands into my pockets and returned to my room.

Suddenly I felt myself so very tired. From this whole situation, from the tour, from the things which had happened, from the pain in my chest and head. I was just sitting there alone in the dark, puffing white smoke towards the ceiling then I bent my head onto the armchair’s headrest and tried to calm my buzzing head. It could have been so simple just to take a sleeping-pill… But no, I’ve promised Dave… I sighed and looked at the ceiling then I slowly fell asleep right there.

\---

The band’s problem with the rented stuff seemed to get sorted out for the concert tomorrow. The boys ran out of energy at the end of the day. Andy was drinking his 4th beer and Martin’s eyes were cloudy too as they were sitting in the bar. Jonathan was chewing the end of a burned-out cigar and David was fighting with a fan and tried not to ruin his image with sending her to hell.

When Dave got bored of fighting with his fan, he said goodbye to the others and headed for the elevator. Before he stepped into his room, he looked down the corridor, toward Mia’s room and decided to check on her. She didn’t appear the whole night long since she came back from her walk. He knocked on the door quietly, but when he didn’t get an answer, he slowly opened the door.

There was dark in the room, he couldn’t see a thing from the corridor’s lights, but a few minutes later he spotted the shape of a woman sitting motionless in the armchair. He started calling out her name, but there was no answer, so he walked to the light switch and the lamps came alive in a second. Then he saw Mia. He covered his mouth with his hand, but he couldn’t hold back a yell. He ran to her and tried to find out what was the problem.


	38. Chapter 38

38.

 

I slowly opened my eyes and I looked at his terrified eyes quite confused then I saw it too. I started whimpering scared, which scared Dave even more. Then I pulled myself together, breaking out of my half-sleep.

“Relax, Dave, I didn’t do anything and I haven’t taken any pills” I put my hand on his, which was grabbing the armrest. I saw that he was still staring at the red patch on my trousers.

“But Mia…”

“It’s alright. I think it’s just my period” I looked into his eyes then managed to stand up and search for some clean clothes then I headed to the bathroom.

“Kitty, after you had your shower can you come out and lay down?”

“Dave, I’m bleeding too much! What the hell is this? And I’m cramping. God, David!”

I was very scared. It came into my mind that it’s maybe a spontaneous miscarriage of an early pregnancy. Since I came out of the hospital I took such meds, which could cause damage to my system if I took them with the birth pills, so I didn’t take them. And of course the boys never used condoms. To tell the truth it never came into our minds, cuz I’ve been taking the pills for years before this. My period was late for a few days, but sometimes it happened earlier too.

Dave poke his head into the bathroom and turned dead pale seeing all the blood under me, which maybe wasn’t even that much, but it seemed much more from mixing with the water “I call our doctor” he whispered with a pale face.

I could just nod and tried to pull myself together as I was standing there slightly stooped. I tried my best to keep my tears from falling. I really felt myself awful and I was ashamed that I just caused another problem.

The doc came quickly and examined me right away. He took some blood and did a quick pregnancy test – it was true. An early, spontaneous miscarriage caused by the intense sex or by the meds… The question came into my mind, who the father could have been and I started crying.

If I wasn’t upset enough yet, this pushed me deeper into my sadness, shoveling more shit onto my head and conscience. Now I felt myself not just like an unworthy piece of shit, but as a killer too. I didn’t take care enough and now I killed a human being… the child of one of them! Fucking meds!

Although the doctor tried to reassure me that probably it was better for the embryo too this way, cuz the meds I took were surely damaging its development – but it still hurt like hell! I was sobbing hard and I didn’t let anyone near to me, except the doc, who despite my protesting, gave me tranquilizers. I felt myself like a last junky, who feels relieved when she gets her dose… Yes, the strong tranquilizer had this effect on me… I hated that it felt so snug and good as its calming effect spread in my body.

\---

But I couldn’t keep the boys away from me – both of them were sitting on the bed, trying to comfort me. Now I really wasn’t alone for a minute – Dave always escorted me even to the loo and he waited for me in front of the door. But despite this I was inconsolably sad for days. They had to replace me on a show, cuz I was crying until I was able to then I had no more tears. I sank into apathy then it passed. And after one or two weeks the morning came when I was able to take delight in seeing Dave’s face as he leant over me and finally I smiled at him weakly. He kissed me with burning fire – the fire of worrying and love was in his kiss and not greedy desire. I promised myself there in that moment that it doesn’t matter what’ll happen, I won’t hurt him anymore. I realised the thing he asserted earlier and I gave myself fully to him. I became completely his in that moment.

And now I was able to do the same with Martin too. Although it still hurt, I accepted that it had to happen this way. We didn’t move, I was just lying in the warmth of their bodies and finally I could enjoy being near them. With Martin we were spooning, while I buried my face into Dave’s naked and warm chest.

The boys realised too what had happened – maybe they were musing on who was the father too – but in our not so average love just a DNS test could have had shown us the result. Or time, when the baby’d have started resembling to its father. I never thought about an own child before, but I’ve missed this baby. I love the guys very much and this little life was us with one of them.

Martin brought me every kind of presents – sometimes the funniest things. They wanted to cheer me up. And slowly they managed to do so, cuz they always tried to make me laugh and distract my attention. They made fun of themselves or they sang to me and I felt that I loved them more than ever, despite the remaining spike.

\---

The tour was moving on – we were close to its end, when the boys announced that the crew got an invitation to a posh party. Dave was totally insane – he was barely at home – he avoided meeting Jennifer even more than on the previous tours and he prevented me to pull my hand out of his if we were in public. It was crazy and it disturbed me, but I didn’t dare to protest, I didn’t dare to hurt him again – I’ve promised myself this. I accepted that he wanted this. Meanwhile I had an enormous compunction because of Jen. Dave was gentler than ever, he was always clinging to me and Mart was jealous and drank a lot. Everything was back to ‘normal’… I tried to talk to Martin, but he was so drunk… And when we drank together, we both got drunk. I gave up the control over myself and let them and the events lead me. I knew that this meant giving up myself and some of my principles on some degrees, but I had no strength to protest. I let them do whatever they wanted to do to me.

Finally the day of that posh party came and I picked that deep purple silk-dress, which I’ve bought back in Las Vegas. I wasn’t in the mood for partying, but Dave didn’t want to hear about me lolling around in the hotel – although Martin was ready to stay with me, but we knew that he can’t let this happen, he had to go and show himself. Martin was doing his circles around me in the last couple of days like a shark staring at his prey. He didn’t say a word, but I saw that he was up to something. But I wasn’t allowed to leave Dave’s side.

The unpleasant feeling crawled up from my stomach again when he insisted on bringing me to the party as his partner. And he didn’t hold himself back from caressing my naked back in an exciting way, which wasn’t covered by the light dress, and meanwhile he was chatting lightly with other people. But after a while I couldn’t take the sounds of my own conscience and neither the hidden, but reproachful looks, which I got. Sure, I was the ‘evil seducer’. I whispered into Dave’s ear that I go out to the bathroom, but I had no intentions to go there. I needed a glass of champagne or something else to ease the cramp in my stomach. By the bar I bumped into Martin of course, who – to my surprise – was sitting in the half-light at the very edge of the counter, an upset expression on his face.

“A martini, please” I waved for the bartender, who nodded then I stepped next to Martin “What’s up, darling?” I asked and stroked his arm.

“You can see, I’ve left alone here.”

“I wouldn’t say that” I noted and counted the glasses in front of him.

“Mia, do you still want me? Me too?”

“Marty! Of course!”

“Then come here and prove it! Here, in front of everyone. As you let Dave hold on to you anywhere we go, you can kiss me too then. You’re my lover too, aren’t you?”

I didn’t answer, just stepped to him, embraced him tightly and started kissing his lips. He was surprised, he never thought I’d really do it. In contrast to my expectations no one idled around us, cuz everyone was watching some stupid show. Everyone, except one man in the room. He was watching us.

Not breaking the kiss I sat onto his lap. I embraced his shoulders with one arm to hang on to him and I rested the other on his chest. This time I let his fingers caressing my naked back. He was kissing me greedily for long minutes then he looked into my eyes with a little longing smile. He raised his glass, which I returned with my martini and we clinked glasses. I drank all of it with one sip and sent another one into my stomach right away. I started to feel more relaxed as I was nibbling on an olive and I felt Mart’s more and more passionate tries to draw my attention towards the thing he wanted the most.

“Come, let’s find some place, cuz I go insane if I can’t bury myself into you.”

“We can’t Marty! It was enough of the scandals.”

“I know, I know. Then let’s go back to the hotel!”

“We can’t leave him here alone like this.”

“True. But now I want to be alone with you and he protects you like Othello did with Desdemona.”

“This can be a disturbing side-effect in a threesome” I caressed his nape, while I was sipping my third cocktail “Sooner or later jealousy appears.”

“It was not a coincidence that I’ve been drinking that much in the last couple of weeks” he planted small kisses onto my shoulder then onto my neck, which made me shiver “Mia, Mia, sweet Mia! I want you so much… Let’s find a room or a saloon, or a corner, or something” he moaned hoarsely into my neck “I go crazy if I can’t have you right now!”

“Alright Marty, let’s find a place, but before it tell me why does he monopolize me like this lately?”

“Maybe he’s unsure again. And he’s like this anyway. He can be very jealous, you’ll realise it soon. Dear Dave, if you don’t pay attention to him for a minute, he starts to think that you’re avoiding and refusing him. He monopolizes you and gets pretentious. He isn’t perfect either.”

“He isn’t. But in turn he’s adorable.”

“Did you meat the beast living inside of him?”

“The panther?”

“No, with the raging storm. In the hospital he’d beaten me up so badly that I could hardly stand up.”

“WHAT DID HE DO????!!!!”

“I see they kept this as a secret in front of you” he said on a bitter tone.

“But…”

“…why?”

I nodded.

“Cuz you’ve died then came back. We nearly lost you because of my fault and he lost his head on the corridor.”

“He was able to beat you up that badly?”

“He even escaped from Jen’s side to be with you. Practically he’d spent every night next to your bed. He was talking and singing to you until you came out of the coma.”

“Holy Jesus!” I put my hand in front of my mouth.

“It’s a wonder that he was still able to do the concert after all this. Well, come on, let’s drink this… you’ll have less complexes.”

I was still thinking of what he’d said to me and let him order another round then he took my hand and with a hot look he led me out of the room. My balance was a bit unsure in my high heels after those drinks, but I managed to follow him without stumbling. We sneaked into a closed saloon after we carefully looked around.

He went for my lips greedily and I could feel his hands sliding on the silk dress, which was covering my body. I barely could breathe from the fierce dance of his tongue, while he led me to a table and put me onto it. He was grabbing my thighs as if he was afraid that I could vanish in any moment. I took his face into my hands and returned his kisses.

He tucked the dress up over my waist impatiently and he moaned from the sight. “Mia, you’re wearing garters? I’ll cum right now” he sighed.

“This turns you on, Mart?”

“Insanely!”

He pulled my thong aside and he was already inside of me. He let me know with his fervent thrusts how much I could turn him on with my black lace lingerie.

“Ahhh… Martin… I’ve missed you!” I moaned and propped myself on one hand, the other grabbed his hair by his nape as my upper-body arched a bit and I put my legs around his waist to feel him even closer.

“Oh god, Mia, you can’t… imagine how much this… means to me!” he panted and quickened his pace, trying to sink into me to the tilt.

We didn’t notice the slim shadow sneaking into the room. The figure, who fisted his hands, hogging his head like a bull as he was standing there in silence.

The waves of passion washed over us. There was no one else in the world just the two of us. I looked deeply into Mart’s cloudy eyes when I felt both of us very close. Our panting filled the room then the walls echoed that I love Martin before the moment I had to cry out from my powerful orgasm.

David was thinking whether he should go there and if yes then what should he say. What can he say? He knew that Mia loves Martin too, but knowing about it is not the same as accepting it. It was a stupid thing, cuz he loved Martin too and he wasn’t jealous in the other way. Confused thoughts were chasing each other in his head. He started walking towards them but stopped. Those two were panting on each other, Martin was fondling ‘HIS MIA’ still moving gently INSIDE OF HER BODY! He was shaking from the suppressed anger, but he knew that he had no right to say anything because of what they’ve done. The settlement between them was clear to him, it contained this too, he couldn’t take objection to anything here. But he wanted to take! His pique and his strong jealousy were blinding him and slowly a purple haze fell onto his thoughts.

Mia slowly slid Martin out of her, but she pulled him back by his nape for another sensual kiss, before she caressed this beloved face with her thumb.

“Is it better?” she whispered hoarsely.

“Oh yes, much more. I adore you!” he stroked along her long thighs, playing with the suspender “You’re maddeningly sexy. And now finally just mine…” he whispered back.

“Well this is a mistake” said a hoarse voice from the dark. It gave us a jump.

“David, even you could respect someone’s personal sphere” Martin glimpsed at him.

“Personal sphere?” he snorted.

“Dave, darling…” I straightened up as I was still sitting on the table and put my panties back to its place and arranged my dress. With one hand I was still holding to Martin’s shoulder “Don’t be selfish, please…”

“Selfish? Maybe. But, but… Guess what! Make each other happy! But without me!” and he stormed out. We looked at each other, but what could we do?

He didn’t say a word to us. And right after the concert he flew back to New York.

\---

I had compunction again, although I didn’t know why. Maybe because I’ve hurt him again, although I didn’t mean to and I knew that we were right. I was musing a lot what to do. Should I call him or not? The only one good thing in this situation was that he went back to his family, whom he’d seen a long while ago.

I was thinking about this again, sitting on the balcony, a blanket wrapped around me. Martin was sleeping inside. I was holding my cell in my hand, staring at the screen, which showed me Dave’s number. My finger was over the ‘call’ button, which I pushed after a sigh. Maybe this time I’ll be lucky – not like in the last couple of days. Finally it was ringing out.

“Yes?” I’ve heard his crabby voice.

“David, it’s me, Mia.”

“I saw it on the screen. What’s up?”

“David!”

“What?”

“I, I…”

“You?”

“I just wanted to say…”

“It isn’t necessary to say anything. Tomorrow I’ll be there right before the concert. Bye” and he hung up.

He’s still angry with me, I sighed bitterly and lit a cigarette. I’ve started getting all nerves again and I had a hangover too. Yesterday we were drinking again with Martin. I made a face. Instead of trying to drag him out of it, I join him. Wonderful, I puffed the smoke with irony. What should I do with Dave if he doesn’t want to listen to what I want to say? Oh God, why did you make him this sensitive? I put my hands under the blanket too and was watching the grey clouds on the early morning sky.

Martin grunted in his dream, he was tossing and turning and protesting against something then he suddenly sat up “Mia, Mia, where are you sweetie? Mia!”

“I’m here” I jumped up and went into the room, the blanket still around my body “It’s alright, I’m here” my voice softened when I saw the relief after the fear in his eyes.

“I… I had a dream about you leaving me. That you wanted just him. That you’ve chosen him!” he said on a complaining voice while he pulled me closer with the blanket and took me into his arms.

“I wouldn’t do this to you, Martin” I looked into his eyes and caressed his pale face “As easy the beginning of our relationship was, now it’s so very complicated. Sometimes it isn’t easy to get along with each other, is it?”

“Yeah, you’re right” he bent his head onto my lap. “I’m scared what he’ll do tomorrow. It’s so awful when he bristles up like this. He’ll be able to bring his wife, dragging her around to torture us.”

“I’m sure he won’t do this!” I laughed bitterly.

Martin nuzzled to me and I did the same. We were waiting for tomorrow. We were waiting to see what the man’ll do, whom we loved passionately.

\---

It turned out that I laughed too soon. David did the exact thing which Martin feared. I think, this wasn’t the first time when he tortured Mart this way after they had a debate. I couldn’t speak to him, he didn’t let Jen go from his side for a single moment, who – it seemed – didn’t mind this at all. She looked at me a bit strangely – we can say she eyed me as an enemy – and she let her husband show me clearly that he still has her.

We hid the pain from our eyes with Martin, we just looked at each other and knew: we felt the same. We were watching Dave during the concert, who willingly provoked us and the crowd with such an expression which said ‘look at me, this is what you can’t have’. It hurt what he was doing and he knew it well. After the show I went straight into his dressing room, closing the door silently behind me. I wanted to talk to him before Jennifer could appear again and Dave could disappear with her.

“What do you want from me?” he barked towards me as he was standing there half-naked, his skin still sweaty. He was removing his make up.

“Don’t do this Dave! You hurt us with this.”

“Just as much as I you’ve hurt me.”

“But David, you were the one who said that I’ll be your and Martin’s lover too. I, I… for me…”

“Even so… I’m standing there alone and you two are fucking each other in a dark room!”

“David, you didn’t let Mart near me for a week! You were guarding me like a dragon.”

“Oh Draco Draconis – I feel myself like that. Like a dragon. I want to possess you, love you” he sighed.

“David, no one possesses anyone! You can’t possess me. And don’t hurt Martin! I’ll protect him if you want to do something against him!”

“Tell me how! You’ll lock me into my room, like a bad boy?”

“Would it hurt you, Mr. Arrogance, if you lost our love? Would it hurt? Would it hurt?” I shouted at him and slammed the door behind me.

Martin grabbed my arm, when not seeing from my anger I nearly passed him without noticing him, and he pulled me into his neighboring dressing room.

“What’d happened?” he asked worried.

“I’m fed up with him! I’m fed up that he thinks that only HE can have emotions, that only HE can suffer!” I shouted still very pissed off and I felt that anger blinded me “What does he think about himself? Torturing us like this! The ones who love him! This is beyond selfishness!”

“Please, Mia, keep it low” he tried to calm me, but I shook his hand off of me and went on with the crawling in his dressing room. I was seriously considering that I grab Martin and leave this whole circus behind me.

“I don’t care, if anyone, or he hears it! Do you hear it, Dave? I don’t care ! I HATE you when you’re like this!” I shouted, my hands in fists. My whole body was shaking from anger, I’ve lost my head.

Martin pulled me to him and embraced me tightly “Be more patient kitty, he’s Dave Gahan, you can’t handle him as you’d do to an average man.”

“I don’t give a shit that he’s a fucking celebrity! I never cared! I love you – the men inside – and although fame walks with you, until now it just caused problems to us!”

“Well, yes. That’s true. Kitty, let’s disappear for two days – just you and me. I didn’t care that he’ll search for us. It’s time to teach him a lesson. It’ll be bad for him, but I do this, cuz I love him. He wouldn’t love us either, if we were his doormats! So we shouldn’t. Let’s go, come, we disappear. We’ll buy clothes and everything else somewhere. We go to the mountains, I’m sure we’ll find some nice house to rent.”

I just nodded eagerly and stopped by my dressing room. I quickly changed and packed my stuff. It’ll be good for me too spending some time alone with Martin – far from every hotels and familiar faces. I hoped that we’ll be far from any civilization too in a small and nice summer house. I wanted to disappear for a while. Martin was right, we had to teach a lesson to Dave. We jumped into Mart’s car and we hit the road. We told nothing to anyone, just Mart said after a few minutes that he told Kessler that we disappear for a couple of days so he shouldn’t be nervous and there’ll be no need to search for us.

Sitting on the passenger seat I slowly calmed down then we exited the car on a gas station. We filled the tank and bought a map of the surrounding area. We asked whether there was a summer house to rent. Luckily the workers could speak English quite well and they happily helped us. Spanish people are kind. Then we moved on and arranged the house on the phone. It was a nice house in a valley, next to a small lake. We took it out immediately and after we stopped to buy some clothes and food, I became the navigator. Finally I felt myself better as I was directing Mart where to go.

The Sierra De Gaudelupe was simply beautiful. None of its mountains were over 1500 meters, but from the rocky serpentine the sight was breathtaking. In the dark we could see the lights of the towns. It was wonderful. We had to hurry, we wanted to reach the house by midnight. It wasn’t easy to find the way in the dark – we nearly got lost twice. Finally we stopped in front of Rancho de Trinidad, which was the estate’s name and it seemed huge even in the dark.

“Finally here no one’ll bother us” Mart sighed as we parked.

“That’s for sure, my prince, look!” I showed him my mobile phone – the mountains shadowed the signal. Just the emergency call was allowed.

“At least we won’t shout at each other through the phone.”

“Did you tell Kessy where we were going?”

“No, I’ve just said that up to the mountains. This won’t help him, cuz Spain’s middle is full of mountains.”

“Now Dave can sit in his own trap” I added a bit sadly. I felt sorry because we had to do something like this, although I was excited about these two days with Martin.

“Well yes, he can” Mart sighed “But maybe this’ll help him. Come, let’s check out the house” he smiled and waited for me to take his hand. Our fingers interwove as we stepped into the house, which had been built in a Mediterranean style. The furniture was simple, in the style of the rural ranches. Simple, which meant functional and as we saw quite expensive. It looked so like an old hacienda that I was waiting for Zorro to step in from the porch with his sword in any minute. But Zorro or his black stallion could be seen nowhere. Just Martin and I were here. Finally some tranquility. We stepped onto the terrace with a faint smile. We could see the whole valley and the towns around from here. The little villages were like small firebugs with their shining lamps in the night. I embraced Martin and bent my head onto his chest.

“It’s beautiful here!” I whispered inhaling the balmy night air deeply, which was heavy from the flowers’ sweet scent.

“Enjoy the silence!”

I laughed quietly then looked at Mart. I turned his face towards mine and caressed it. I felt his little stubbles, but it didn’t disturb me at all, I just sank into his eyes, which seemed nearly black in the night. I couldn’t speak, but I didn’t want to at all. I just wanted to love my blonde prince. He deserves it. And I tried to chase away the black panther from my head, who always sneaked between my thoughts.

Martin bent down to me and kissed me tenderly “Let’s drink something, sweetie. I bought a bottle of Tequila. Let’s relax a bit, okay? Now we do whatever pleases us.”


	39. Chapter 39

39.

 

Dave tired not to see Mia’s face while he was doing love to his wife. But it was in vain. He concentrated hard to please Jennifer, who was clinging to him. She didn’t know but felt that there was more between her husband and Mia than just a few mind-blowing sexes. She loved her husband. She knew that he loved her too… But did Dave really love her? Dave rolled down from Jen – he wasn’t able to finish what he’d started. Jennifer started crying.

\---

Finally we could laugh freely with Martin as we were sitting on the terrace, drinking tequila and smoking. It was so good to be alone with him, far from anything. Here we could finally pay attention to each other and we could relax.

“Thank you Marty for bringing me here. It was a great idea!”

“I’m glad that you finally feel happy, kitty.”

“I was thinking about disappearing a while too. It’s so peaceful here! It’s refreshing after the tour’s chaos. Finally we can pay attention to each other” I caressed his arm smiling. He interwove our fingers and looked back at me with a bit cloudy gaze.

“I wanted this too, I wanted you, Mia. We’ll make love the whole night long, you know this, right?”

“Uh-uh. It sounds great” I nodded and felt my body burning from this one sentence.

After the fifth drink Martin’s every inhibition vanished and my head was very light too. It was floating like colorful balloons. We said every kind of funny things and we were laughing hard – maybe we were a bit silly, but there was no one who could say anything against it.

Then something changed – it was a nice change. I felt it. He leant to me and kissed me tenderly. I felt the world spinning, but it wasn’t unpleasant, cuz his kisses didn’t let me feel bad. Slowly he explored every corner of my mouth then he pulled me onto his lap.

“Hey kitty, come here, now you’re just mine. There’s no black panther around to make a scene this time.”

“Yes Martin, I’m just yours during these two days. You know, I love you just as much as I love that silly Dave. Somehow you’re the more serious one. You two seem to be each others opposite.”

“He’s the burning swelter of the Sahara and I’m the cold iceberg, right?” he smiled, sliding his hands under my top.

“We can say, but I don’t think that you’re that cold now…” I reached down between his legs.

“Well, I’m not. You know the global warming…”

“I make you warm globally, come! Marty, do you want to do it here on the porch, under the starry night?”

“Oh yes, that’d be nice…” he grinned and pulled my top over my head with one swift move. He moaned “Oh god, Mia… I love it when you don’t wear any bra under your clothes… and I can feel you right away…” he sighed and squeezed my breasts, which made me sigh too. In return I loosened his belt and touched the middle of the heat between his thighs.

We leaped on each other hungrily, we didn’t care. It was from deep instincts, like mating animals. We got used to each other – he knew where to touch me, I knew what he liked. We were kissing fiercely. He pushed me against the banister and got rid off the remaining clothes which were still covering my body. I moaned from his hand’s profound work and I couldn’t wait to feel him inside of me.

“Come!” I groaned impatiently, while I put my legs around his waist as he turned with me and pressed me against the wall.

“I come, sweetie, I’m here…” he panted grabbing himself and leading his huge and hard cock into me. I had to cry out as I embraced his full length. There was only him for me in that moment.

“I love you Martin” I sighed into his ear as he accelerated his pace.

“Me too, kitty, I love you too!” he moaned then he had no strength to say anything else.

\---

Dave was sitting on the red couch of the living room, his head bent into his palms. He could hear even from here that Jen was still crying. He was sitting there in numb silence for a while. He stood up and went out to the balcony to light a cigarillo. He was shocked and anger and jealousy burned inside of him in the same time.

He was shocked from himself that he couldn’t wipe Mia out of his head, while he tired to make love to Jen. He was shocked that they just disappeared without a word, and only God knows where they went and what she does with Martin! He felt the anger rising inside of him again. It was useless to rage, he couldn’t pull out any information from Kessler, he just shrugged too without a clue. He inhaled the smoke nervously then exhaled it. The wind blew it away quickly.

He knew that he should comfort Jennifer now. He knew that Jen knew what’d happened. She saw another woman’s reflection on her husband’s face. It looks that she finally realised what was going on inside of Dave – that he loves that other one. She wasn’t sure whether he loved her at all or not. But she didn’t go out to the living room, she was too proud to do so, although her broken heart’s shards cut herself into pieces and inside she was whining from the pain she felt.

\---

We really made love all night long. We rode out our pleasure again and again until we were totally exhausted. After a nice shower – we were kissing it all along – we were just lying on the bed, nuzzling to each other. I was purring to my tom like a satisfied pussy cat, while he was caressing my arm gently.

“We should sleep now a bit” I yawned into my blonde prince’s face. As an answer he did the same. I took it as a yes and nestled myself between his arms. He pulled the blanket around us against the chill of the Sierras.

 

The sun was high on the sky when we woke up. My sweet fuzzy tiger made me a breakfast. I was smiling and I was grateful for his efforts. Well, I must say, it was a pilot breakfast. The result was somehow irregular, but he decorated nicely the gluey-like something, which’s colour I couldn’t name – and which we usually call an omelet – with slices of tomatoes and cucumbers. And the coffee was quite drinkable – if someone could overlook the slightly thick grounds at the bottom. But I pretended as if all these were made by the Ritz’s master chef. Even if my love’d put sawdust in front of me, I’d eat it without a word. I appreciated my dear one’s efforts. And Martin was like a little boy from this, who just got the red fire engine for Christmas. He had an ear to ear smile on his face and he touched me constantly. It was as if he wanted to be sure I was really there. And I was there. And I loved him. And he loved me. Do I need a better awakening?

\---

But not everyone had such a nice awakening. Crowning his problems Dave awoke with a headache and sore throat. He had fever too and they had a concert tomorrow. He couldn’t force a word out of his throat – he completely lost his voice. He started to cry. He was always terrified from this. His voice, his voice! And because they were touring around the world now, he needed it more than anything. He wrote down to Jen what was the problem and to call Kessy immediately.

After telling him the situation, a doctor took care of Dave. He was lying alone in a hotel room, cuz Jen said that she needs some fresh air. He felt himself awfully alone and frightened because of his voice. There was no one to nuzzle to. And all of this because of his selfishness and sentimentalism! He was crying without a noise like a little boy, huddled up in bed. And he just wanted his mother to caress his forehead, telling a tale to him to chase the pain away.

He fell asleep and he saw a dream. He saw himself on stage as he’s standing there. The music is on and he tries to enter the song with his voice in the right place in vain, cuz he has no voice. He sees as Martin and Mia looks at him then the others too. His audience is in front of him and he’s just standing there ashamed. Then he leaves the stage like a beaten army, hearing that Martin announces the end of the concert.

He woke up sweating hard, panting from his nightmare. But the reality wasn’t better either. Jen left to have some fresh air. No wonder. She was very hurt from the thing which had happened between her and Dave. Her tears started falling again. Dave was crying too, lying on the bed, hiding his face in his hands. He was crying without a voice. He was voiceless.

\---

We decided with Martin that we’ll just loll about if we were in such a beautiful place. I’ve found a smaller rucksack. I put some sandwiches and some mineral water in it and we headed towards the mountain behind the house. It wasn’t a difficult surface and it didn’t bother us to climb a bit. We were just walking hand in hand and we were talking about this and that. Martin was talking about his family and his relationship with his children, whom he loved very much then about his thoughts in different topics. Finally I felt that after a long while I could open up myself. We were talking about our relationship, about Dave and the whole tour, about Depeche Mode and music.

When we reached the top we were panting a bit by a resting-place and were admiring the sight. Then we sat down onto a trunk and ate some sandwiches.

“You know, sometimes I still ask myself who was its father” I noted, but my voice didn’t fail me anymore. Finally I could talk about it, seeing things from a distance.

“Well it’d have been unsure even with a test. But we surely would have done a test when the baby was born. But to tell the truth Mia, I don’t think that next to all our problems we’d need a baby too. Things are so running into one another that when something happens to one of us, the same thing happens to the other two. Do you take the birth pills now?”

“No, not yet. I’ll meet that gynecologist whom Laura, the stylist advised. It is said that he knows what he’s doing.”

“Hmm, alright. Kitty, let’s check whether there’s any signal. Maybe we’ll have it up here. Mia, I miss David so badly, maybe we can reach him.”

“Okay, let’s call him!”

“It rings out. Dave, pick it up” he murmured. A click then Mart heard snuffling, moaning and suppressed, blurred voices. “What the hell? Is their dog playing with the phone again?” His phone beeped – he’s got a message. “Oh, dear! No, please don’t!” Mart exclaimed with a frightened expression.

“What’d happened?” I asked worried.

“We must go back immediately!”

“But what’s it? Something happened to Dave?”

“Yes. He’s sick and he lost his voice. Completely!”

“Ohmygod!” I covered my mouth with my hand.

“This is very dangerous by him. It’d happened a few times before and he psyches out every time. He has nightmares and he’s awfully scared that he’ll stay like this.”

“Let’s go back right away!” I jumped up “Oh god, we shouldn’t have left him there like this!” I started blaming myself immediately as I packed our stuff and we hurried down the mountain.

\---

I didn’t dare to go in because of Jen, but Mart went into his room. He was lying on the bed dead pale in lethargy. There was a thick scarf around his neck over his white T-shirt. He still had a fever, although it wasn’t as high as earlier. But his vocal cords failed him. The doc forbade him even whispering. There was a notebook and a pen next to him – his only connection to the world. When Mart sat next to him, he put his head onto Curly’s lap without a voice. By that time Marty suspected that Jen went home or she wasn’t around. He was wondering what could have happened between the two of them, cuz usually Jen was by her husband’s side in such situations. Maybe it was an urgent work-project, which can occur – she was in the middle of organizing a film festival now anyway – or maybe they had a bad fight. Mart sighed and took his love’s face between his hands. He nuzzled to him like a puppy, nestling to his touch.

“Please don’t be mad, love, we didn’t want it like this. I’m sorry” Martin said “We shouldn’t have left you alone. But now we’re here” Dave mouthed my name “She’s outside too, don’t worry. Everything’ll be fine. Your voice’ll come back. We’ll help you. We’ll heal you” he whispered, looking into his eyes, which were watery.

David reached for his note book and slowly – like someone who writes his last words, suffering from a lethal illness – wrote: ‘I want to see her.’

Mart stood up and called me in. I ran into the room and fell upon his neck, pressing my face to his, kissing him wherever I could reach him. I sobbed into his neck and I was hugging him so tightly, that our poor guy nearly started coughing between my arms.

“I love you, you fool! I love you, I love you so much!” I repeated still sobbing and felt his warm hand stroking my back, while he was hugging me back.

He leant back a bit and put one of his hand onto his heart then onto mine and nodded, smiling ungainly. My feelings were so overwhelming that I can’t remember what I’ve told him sobbing, sniffling and sometimes wiping my teary face into his T-shirt.

When we calmed down a bit, Martin asked what’d happened and where Jenny was. Dave wrote down that she disappeared in the morning after telling Kessler about his condition then he wrote down that the cause of it was that he was thinking of me during making love to Jenny and he couldn’t please her because of this. I asked him what we will do now. He just shook his head telling us that he doesn’t know and sighed. We couldn’t do much more than giving him the steroids, waiting them to start working. We should cancel tomorrow’s show, I thought. Mart had this same thought cuz he called Kessler and started speaking while I buried myself into Dave, hugging him so tightly that I nearly choked him.

He freed one of his hands and wrote: ‘It’s good to have you two here!’

“And I’m happy to be here and that you don’t hate us. I missed you, you big jerk!” I embraced him then let him pull back a bit so he could run his thumb on my lower lip.

he mouthed and I smiled and closed my eyes, letting him give a featherlike kiss onto my lips.

‘I love you’

 

Martin announced that they didn’t cancel the show yet, just postponed it with 3 days. We’ll see what’ll happen. But because we had a few days off after this concert, this won’t be a problem. Near the end of the tour we needed more breaks.

“There’s not much left, Dave. We’ll heal you and we’ll be able to do the rest easily” I smiled at him and caressed his face.

In this very moment Jennifer stepped into the room. Martin noticed her first, who was sitting next to us on the bed. It was barely visible when Jennifer shivered then she came to the bed, stopping close to me “May I?” she asked.

My heart was pounding hard in my chest and I swallowed. I couldn’t say a word so I just nodded and stood up after letting Dave go. The tense silence was nearly palpable in the room. Then I don’t know what’d happened afterwards, cuz I turned around and left the room quietly. I was pacing on the corridor from wall to wall in my nervousness. I nearly went crazy, cuz I didn’t know what was going on inside, although I knew that I had no right to be there.

\---

But Martin stayed there, pulling back to the foot of the bed and was watching Jen with Dave. She took the thermos, poured some tea without a word and gave it to Dave with his pills. Mart saw how upset and tired her moves were. Dave took the pills without protesting, watching his wife.

“She’s the one, isn’t she?” Jennifer looked into Dave’s eyes “You’ve stopped yesterday because of her, right?” Dave nodded. “Do you love her?” she asked on a shaky voice. Dave nodded again. “Do you leave me, Dave?” she cried.

Dave shook his head and took his wife’s hands into his then he reached for his notebook and wrote: ‘No, unless you decide otherwise. Loving her doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore.’

Jen read it and didn’t know what to think. Should she be happy that she won’t lose her husband, or should she be angry because she has to share him? There was sad pain in her eyes as she was sitting there voiceless. She never thought that one day they’ll face such a situation. Of course she knew that sometimes Dave cheated on her, they’d discussed this once. But she never thought that once he’ll fell in love with one of his lovers! But she couldn’t do anything against it, she was just sitting there – her head bent – watching her fingers resting between Dave’s and she was crying inwardly. Then after a while she let him go and walked out of the room.

\---

I was chewing my nails when I turned towards the door, but I froze immediately when I saw Jen. When she spotted me, her face hardened and started walking into my direction. I didn’t know what to do, I was still frozen to the ground. And this is why I was taken short when her hand swung and she smacked me in the face. I just put my hand on my face and gawped.

“You deserved this” he said on an ice-cold tone “It’s one thing that I have to share him with oh thousands of people, but I won’t let you take away my husband completely. If you hurt him or if you cause any pain for him, you’ll have to deal with me!” she looked deeply into my eyes then stormed towards the elevator. I was staring after her shocked, still holding my red face, where slowly her fingers came visible on my skin.

\---

Martin was just sitting on the edge of the bed and he was thinking what to do next then he decided to call me in as the next step. I came into the room reluctantly and stopped in front of them with the red marks of the five fingers on my face. Dave looked at me shocked, Martin was rather worried.

“Well… she left” I noted on a light tone as I clasped my hands “Dave, honey, did you take your meds? Do you want something to drink?”

First he nodded then shook his head. He quickly reached for his notebook and started writing – looking up at my face time after time.

he wrote with abrupt letters. I didn’t want – I couldn’t – answer, but when he shook my hand to force me to speak, I slowly nodded. ‘I will talk to her!’ the next message came as he held up the notebook angrily and a bit shocked.

‘Jen hit you?’

 

“No, Dave, it isn’t necessary. I’ve deserved what I’ve got. No problem. Really” I answered folding my arms.

He shook his head and wrote: ‘If there’s someone who deserved a hit then it’s me, her husband, cuz without me this wouldn’t happen, would it? How did she dare to hit you? I’ve never hit her!’

“Dave, of course you never hit her! In my eyes that’s an unforgivable sin” I answered “She had the right to hit me, cuz she loves you and she sees just the bitch in me, the rival, and I can’t blame her for this. I deserved what I’ve got. And I’d have deserved more, if she decided to give me more. Let’s see the facts, Dave… I’m just an occupied lover and a vocalist here and you two are burning for me now. But until when? It’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy every single minute with you two, cuz I love both of you very much. But I’m nobody here. And I’m nobody especially in your marriage. I shouldn’t have had anything to do with that. Jen has rights as your wife. She could do this to me, cuz she had right to do this because she’s hurt and she wants to protect her marriage. Dave, she loves you very much and she’s jealous. Please, don’t be mad at her.”

He was just looking at me, he wanted to say something, he grabbed his pen again to write, but I stopped his hand.

“No. Please, leave it this way, okay? Don’t make a big deal of this.”

His mouth formed a ‘but’.

“Dave, please. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’ll survive. The main point here is to see you healthy again, am I right Marty?” I turned to Curly, who was immersed into his thoughts.

“Exactly. Dave, we really have to concentrate on putting things right in the fastest way. I spoke to the doc, who said that if we take care, your vocal cords will be okay in a few days time. Until then we’ll postpone the concerts. No, Dave, we can’t do anything else. You can’t sing with hoarse voice and aching throat, you know it well.”

“Exactly” I joined the conversation “I’ll make you a nice hot tea, okay? Which kind do you like?”

‘I don’t want any tea, I don’t need anything’ he wrote ‘It was too much for today. I want to sleep.’

We nodded with Martin, stepped to him, gave him a hug and a peck onto his face and pulled his blanket up to his chin. He blinked at us gratefully and waved after us when we stepped out of the room.

\---

Outside I buried myself between Martin’s arms right away, hiding my face in his chest. I was embracing him tightly and I was inhaling his scent.

“Hey, kitty… what’s it?”

“It scares me like hell seeing him like this! Voiceless!” I confessed.

“Take it easy, relax, it’ll pass. We have to be patient. Let him rest now, sleeping always helps.”

“We should make him an awful drink with honey and onions – my grandma used to do it. Do you want to come down to the kitchen with me? Help me. I know this’ll help him.”

“Sure kitty. We need anything which can help him. And tell me how’ll you make him drink it?”

“I have my ways” I smiled at him “He’s not the only one who can manipulate people, you’ll see.”

“I have no doubts about your manipulating skills” he kindly stroked my butt while we headed for the kitchen “If this stuff you want to do really helps him then my belief that grandmas knew something will be stronger” he finally smiled.

“My granny knew something, that’s for sure. I never had to take pills. At least in my childhood” I murmured the last sentence quietly.

Martin took my hand and asked softly: “And are you okay? Are you still taking the tranquilizers?”

“No, I don’t take those. Just the ones Dave endorsed with the crew-doc. But to tell the truth Martin, now maybe I drink more and it seems more regularly. Dave doesn’t know it of course.”

“Don’t think that he doesn’t suspect it. And I know that you drink more, cuz you do it with me. We must be careful not to drink too much. Maybe I’ll drink less if I have to take care of you.”

“It’s rather funny. Two boozy takes care not to let the other drink too much…” I made a mouth, while I prepared the ingredients for Dave’s drink.

“Ironical, yes.”

“And what should we do instead? Making love all days long?” I asked as a joke.

“I was thinking about something like that, yes” he ran his hand on my body as we were standing in the hotel’s kitchen and I put the onion’s scale into the boiling water. I put a bucket of ice onto the counter so later I’ll be able to cool the infusion to the right temperature. “And I’ll take care of you, although I know this’ll be more difficult for me than it’d be to someone else. Mia, I want to stop drinking. Things aren’t good this way. I don’t want to die, I don’t want to lose you two!”

“See Martin? I like this approach of yours way better!” I turned my head to him with a little smile on my face “And that you want to take care of me feels very good. That both of you want to take care of me and I hope, you’re not judging me because of my stupid things” I turned back to the onions.

When the drink was ready and the temperature was perfect, I asked the chef whether they have pine-honey. They had. I asked with a bottle and we went back to Dave. I quietly looked into the room, cuz I didn’t want to wake him up. He wasn’t sleeping yet.

“Sweetheart, can we come in? We don’t want to keep you up for too long. I just brought some homemade medicine. I think it’s better than the pills.”

Dave struggled himself up to a sitting position and nodded. He adjusted the thick scarf on his neck.

“First take a spoonful of the honey then drink the whole stuff with one gulp. It isn’t that bad.”

Dave did like that. He grimaced and sighed then cleared his throat.

‘Stay with me, if you don’t have better things to do’ he wrote ‘I can’t sleep.’

Learning from the previous happenings I stepped to the door and locked it then we lay down next to him from both sides. And we were just laying there in silence then I’ve started crooning while I was caressing his covered chest. Because he couldn’t say a word – and we didn’t want to break the silence – he fell asleep quickly from exhaustion and maybe because of my crooning. As I looked up, I saw that Martin was at the edge of falling asleep too, so I went on with my crooning for a while. When I knew that they were surely asleep, I carefully climbed out of bed and walked to my purse then closed the bathroom’s door behind me. I examined my face – luckily there was no sign of Jen’s fingers there – then I shook two pills into my palm. My chest was aching again.


	40. Chapter 40

40.

 

Meanwhile big changes were lying ahead. An enormous tropical storm was closing in to Miami, where we were and where Depeche had its next gig the following day. We didn’t know anything about this until Kessy called Martin that the lieutenant announced an emergency because of the incoming storm and we had to collect some things and go down to the hotel’s basement. Sadly we couldn’t leave because of the weather outside. I was worried about Dave. I didn’t know how this’ll affect his illness, but he came down with us without a word. He was dressed up well. He had 3 pullovers on, plus the thick scarf. I packed his meds and some of our stuffs into a sport bag. Martin took it down.

“Fantastic” he noted sarcastically “At least we won’t get bored.”

Dave nodded.

“Uh-uh” I could only say this as I was eyeing the basement’s bare walls in a distrusting way. At least there wasn’t cold and the staff brought down some thick mattresses, food and blankets. I felt myself uncomfortable. The place gave me the blues. And I wasn’t alone with this. We three were lying on two mattresses with Dave in the middle. The other guests were around us and because they didn’t find anything else to do, they were staring at us. We started to feel very uncomfortable – especially when we felt the walls shaking. The hurricane was there and it was raging over our heads. I nuzzled to David.

He was holding me tightly and I buried my head into his chest. But not really because of the storm, but to try and stay calm from his scent and to convince myself that the walls weren’t collapsing on us. I didn’t make a sound, but I was shaking so badly from the nervousness and the strain like a leaf.

The hours passed slowly and I’ve started thinking whether there was a toilet here. The hotel’s stuff took care of us even here with all kinds of soft drinks and it turned out that there was a loo here too. This was a relief for some of the other guests too. The building was still moving over us. Martin fell asleep and we two were listening to each other’s heartbeats.

My mind created more and more scary pictures like that the building’ll falls on us and the walls’ll kill us or we’ll be stuck here for days without any food or water. My legs were moving constantly from nervousness under the blanket. My claustrophobia started to take mastery over me and I realised that I was holding Dave tighter and more desperately, grabbing his pullover hard.

“Relax, kitty, relax” he forced out whispering and he coughed. I put my finger onto his lips.

“Hush, Dave, don’t speak. Please, don’t speak, it’ll only cause harm!”

He just embraced me even closer and he started stroking me.

First one then two hours had passed and the raging storm slowly moved away. The hotel’s security went up to see the damages. Soon they came back and announced that we can go up to the rooms, but in no circumstances can we leave the building. I hurried out to the corridor right away and rested my forehead and hands on the cold walls, sighing with relief. At last my shaking started to fade away. I felt an arm sneaking around my waist. As I looked to the side, I saw the silent Dave standing there. He looked at me questioningly.

“Kitty, what’s the problem?” Mart asked stepping next to me too.

“Nothing, nothing, I just can’t bear closed spaces.”

“Hmm, but this basement wasn’t small. I’ve never seen that you were scared in a room” he noted.

“Cuz there’re windows and the air can move. I think this cat doesn’t like when someone or something limits her freedom either” I closed my eyes and exhaled the air with a long sigh.

“Come, let’s go upstairs” Martin said “I put you and Dave in bed.”

“Huh, it sounds great” I nuzzled to my other guy. Dave embraced me and gave a kiss onto my neck.

“Yummy David! It’s so good that you feel a bit better and we three are together again.”

“Keep this low, honey” Mart whispered and we went up to Dave’s room.

\---

When we were up in the room we cowered onto the bed. We were still under the effects of the hurricane. Maybe the boys lived through something like this, but this was the first hurricane for me. I wanted something shooting to drink or a tranquilizer, but I couldn’t because of Dave. I saw on Martin that time after time he swallowed hard too. I though I’d give it a try.

“Dave, we’d go down to the bar with Marty. Do you want to join us?”

He nodded and stood up. We exchanged a look with Martin then we slowly walked down – although I wanted to run instead. Dave was still wearing his warm clothes. As we sat down to a table, we waved for the waiter. We ordered two whiskies straight and a hot tea. Usually we never drank in front of Dave, so he won’t feel himself bad, but now we didn’t want to leave him alone and we just needed something to soothe our nerves. I tried to cradle my glass not too obviously, hiding how relieved I was from the whisky’s strong taste. Dave didn’t say a word or wrote a thing, it seemed that he understands our situation. He was just looking at us quietly and then I realised that although he never said a word about it, he knew what have been going on with me and Martin lately. From this look of his I had no more desire to drink. I was just circling around the remains of my third whiskey in the glass with a sad face.

I saw no hints of any reproachful thoughts on his face, but I’ve decided to leave my drink there. Martin drank his and asked him what’ll we do – he aimed at Jennifer. I closed my eyes. I felt guilty.

Dave wrote his answer down to Martin: ‘First I have to talk to her when my voice is back. I have to sit down with her and explain a few things to her.’

“I see. And can you share us what kind of things you want to tell her?” Mart asked “Just because this affects us too, David. Not just a little.”

I remained silent and I was thinking that now closing to the end of the tour why do they need to do such a big thing about this, cuz in eight weeks time it’ll be over and even if my heart’ll break from it, I can probably go home.

‘I’ll try to explain her, what we’ve lived through. If you don’t mind, I’ll leave you out of this. Maybe this way it’ll be less shocking to her. We’ll talk about our marriage. I don’t want to end it, unless she decides to do so…’

“David, you can’t let her leave you! Think about your daughter and Jimmy!” I broke out maybe a bit too loud from the drinks. I could feel them in my head a bit.

He looked at me with knowing eyes and wrote: ‘She won’t leave me. She loves me. A lot of things connect us, but she has to be more tolerant than an average wife. Nearly never had I fallen for someone else, cuz she’s a great wife and I got nearly everything from her. Nearly everything – except you two. And it seems that I need the latter one as much as I need the air I breathe.’

A large teardrop slid down on my face after reading his quick letters and I looked up at his serious face. “David, this is the most beautiful confession I’ve read or heard in my life.”

He smiled faintly and shrugged, telling me that this is the way he feels. I could barely hold myself back – I just wanted to embrace him right there. Martin was blinking quickly too and was just staring at him. We three were doomed to each other. It was a blessing and a curse in the same time – the two sides of a coin, the very thing which moved the world: the law of Jin and Jang.

“Let’s go upstairs” Mart put the remains of his drink down. I bet he had to fight the lump in his throat too.

“Let’s go” I echoed and all three of us stood up. I went to pay the bill. When I joined the boys at the door of the bar, they were communicating with their eyes between each other then we went to Dave’s room. What are they up to? What was this? – I asked myself.

I kicked my clothes onto the floor with tired moves until just my panties and a halter remained on me and I climbed under the warm covers immediately, taking the far end of the bed. We could still hear the loud whistling of the wind. Time after time raindrops attacked the windows, but luckily the biggest part of the storm had passed.

Dave jumped next to me too and he was reading a magazine with his legs apart. Mart was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying the channels on the TV, but there were no signals after the storm. So he just stood up and walked to the window, watching the still raging elements. It seemed that the hotel’ll need a new gardener, who’ll have to plant a new line of palms, cuz most of them looked cracked in half from here. Somehow the sounds of the passing storm made me sleepy, just like the boys’ noises – as Dave turned a page in the magazine, as Martin drummed on his folded arms, and even when Dave cleared his throat. I felt myself slipping into my dreams as I was lying there on my side.

\---

I’ve slept for long hours and by the time I woke up, everything was silent around me. David was spraying steroids into his throat – heaving badly as the stuff reached his gullet – but he was fighting with the spray like a hero. When he had the prescribed puffs he came to me with a haggard face and started speaking. Although his voice was like a cracked pot tugged under thick blankets, at least it was a voice.

“Kitty-Mia” he said.

I was so happy that I jumped into his neck.

“See, David? See? I’ve told you that everything’ll be fine! We’ll do some more from that cure with the honey and onion, okay? You’ll see, your voice’ll be soon perfectly okay” I looked with my shining eyes into his green irises.

“I’m glad too, kitty” he crackled then cleared his throat and his next sentence sounded a bit better: “Call Martin!” he said quietly.

“You want to surprise him?”

“Yep.”

I smiled, gave a peck onto his mouth and hurried to Martin’s room. I though he must be there – and I was right. He opened the door after my knocking, but he just gave me a soft kiss onto my forehead, cuz he was talking on the phone. I was waiting patiently and spotted his guitar on the bed. He surely was practicing when his phone started to ring. I went to the bed and stroked the legendary guitar gently.

“Good morning” he walked to me after putting his cell back into his pocket “What brought you here, sweetie?”

I turned around and put my arms into his neck.

“First of all to wish you a good morning” here I planted a kiss onto his lips “then to lure you back to Dave’s room. We are so lonely without you… Come!” I grabbed his hand and pulled him after me. He followed me laughing and stepped into the other room.

“Hello sweetie” David greeted him on an even lower tone than usual. Martin was standing there mesmerized. I wasn’t the only one whose knees went weak from Dave’s voice. Curly quickly walked to him and embraced our singer.

“Thank God, Dave! It’s so great!”

“Those who agree with me that Dave Gahan’s momentary voice is fucking sexy, raise their hands!” I exclaimed happily and raised both of my hands. Martin joined me laughing, one hand still resting on Dave’s waist, but turning towards me. “You’re our singing-bird” I nuzzled to Dave.

“Cool, so you think I’m a bird? Thank your very much!” he smiled happily. His voice was getting better and better with every sentence – it was near to his original one.

“Mart, if he goes on like this, our bird’ll sing to us tonight” I said to Blondie, but I didn’t look away from Dave’s gorgeous figure. I was staring at him mesmerized.

“Why are you two staring at me?”

“This is your fate, my friend. People stare at you” Mart laughed.

“Cuz you’re beautiful David, do you know it? You’re attractive and your voice is divine!”

“You’re crazy! I know this look on you! Who wants to sleep with me?” he asked grinning.

“Me!” we both cried out with Martin.

Dave laughed hoarsely and we grinned at each other with Curly.

“But sadly I have to go to arrange some things now. This is why Andy called me a few mins ago…” Mart sighed bitterly and looked at Dave with longing in his eyes.

“Do you really have to?” he asked on his hoarse tone, turning Blondie’s face towards him.

“Yeah….” he breathed.

“In this case…” here the conversation was dead for at least two whole minutes, cuz Dave was kissing Curly gently “… hurry back…”

Martin’s head was dizzy as he nodded, like someone who was mesmerized. He left the room not knowing fully where he was.

“Do you have any idea what you do to people?”

“With Martin – anything I want, I guess” he whispered into my ear with an arrogant smile on his face “And I can do the same with you, Mia, right?” he started unbuttoning my shirt.

“Uhmm… I think so…” I closed my eyes halfway from the desire and from the feeling as his fingers touched my hot skin.

“You just think so?” he whispered hoarsely nearly into my mouth, still holding my gaze with that deep look of his.

“No… I’m sure” I moaned silently as he grabbed my waist and pulled me against his groin – our bodies barely touched. “I need you…” I sang to him.

“I need you badly too!” he pulled me even closer and I saw that he really had to hold himself back not to ‘attack’ me. He wanted it gently, nicely and beautifully. His body was trembling under my touches like F1 cars in the boxes, waiting for the start. He wanted to race, but not yet.

We pulled off his sweaters and his white T-shirt of him one by one so I could finally caress his naked chest. I felt his goose bumps rising again from my touches and he sighed wobbly, looking straight into my eyes. I felt the desire building up in my body. I kissed his lips tenderly, giving him small pecks instead of a long kiss. I felt his arms sneaking around me tighter and I knew that I can’t feel such homey and exciting thing with anyone else – maybe the only exception was Martin, but he was different too. The heat was radiating from Dave and it tickled my skin. I let him undo my dark shirt button after button, giving him a better view onto my chest after every single one.

“Wait kitty, wait” he stopped my hand, when I grabbed his already hard cock “If you go on with this, I… I won’t be able to stand it!”

“But this is what I want, get laid, not standing here, you panther, you!”

“I meant… jeez, Mia, sweetie, Mia, don’t stop!”

By this time he was in my mouth. I was savouring him as if I was doing this the first time. I discovered every little inch of him, focusing all my attention on him. I took my time. I pampered him slowly – sometimes quickening my pace for a few moments just to slow down again, finding the slow rhythm with my mouth. I just couldn’t get enough of his taste… of him. He drove me crazy. He propped himself on the table behind him and bent his head back in his joy. My poor guy couldn’t get his sex-dose in the last few days and now he barely could wait for his release. I saw that it won’t take too long. His muscles on his abdomen started rippling and I felt his testicles in my palm getting slightly harder and they lifted a bit. He was moaning loudly and his sighs would’ve melted even the hardest stone-hearts. I loved when he was sighing like this. I knew that I was doing this to him, I caused his sighs. Suddenly his whole body shivered, his hands could barely hold his weight. And I swallowed every drop he could give me, caressing him with my tongue for a few more minutes…

“This was good” he wiped his forehead.

“That’s all? ‘This was good’? Be careful, or else I’ll feel offended and I’ll bite off your little treasure!” I licked his member once more. He sighed from this.

“You’d bite it off?” he asked me hoarsely with a half-smile, while he caressed my face.

“Oh yes… it’s tasty.”

“Hmm, kitty, I think it’s my turn…” he pulled me to him, tickling my back under my half-opened shirt. His touch was playful and exciting in the same time. I felt even from this featherlike contact that fire spread in my veins, burning up my body. I was yearning for his touches, for his embrace, like a heroine-addicted wants her dose. I shivered from the waiting until he leant over me and bit down on my lower lip playfully, although I thought he’ll finally kiss me.

But he was the master of teasing. He knew it very well that I was trembling for him, but he rather pulled his lips back and leant very-very slowly to my neck so his hot breath could cover my skin with goose bumps again. He touched me under the shirt just with his fingertips and a shiver ran down my spine from this.

“Dave…” I sighed shakily. I felt that my nipples were painfully hard from the desire I felt “Dave, you’re playing with me…”

“Like the big cat with his kitty. Yes Mia, I’m toying with you. I excite you slowly and methodically, step by step. First you just tremble from lust, which starts to burn you slowly from the inside and you’d like to ease this inner heat – caused by my touches – but your own breath is as hot as the desert in the Sahara. Do you feel how hot mine is, sweetie?” and with a sudden movement he pulled off the shirt I’ve got from him and sighed between my breasts.

I was just lying on the bed between the flames of his love, like the sinner on the bonefire. I hoped that this fire purifies our love and the flames’ll burn away the dirt, leaving just the diamond of our shining emotions.

He pinned me to the bed softly and went on with my torture. My skin reacted right away wherever his breath was roaming on me. The muscles in my body strained or loosened. Every nerve of mine was standing at its end, waiting to feel not just his breaths on my skin. Sweatdrops started forming on my forehead and my face blushed, although he didn’t really do much to me yet. He pinned my hands to the sheet in the line of my head and interwove our fingers. I bent my head back and moaned quietly, squeezing his fingers, when he rubbed his groin against mine through the clothes, finally touching me. Although our bodies were barely connected even like this, my back arched and I opened my legs wider, so my skirt slid up.

And he appreciated this. As he felt the touch of the fabric on his thigh now he was the one who moaned. He loved suspenders, he went insane from them. It wasn’t a coincidence that I’ve bought three last week in Juicy Couture. Today I was wearing the deep purple, seamed with black lace. He pulled my skirt up painfully slowly as he slid one hand upwards on my thigh. I searched for his look with half-closed eyes as I moaned from the feeling. With my free hand I caressed his face then my fingers were edging closer and closer to that area, which Martin’d shown me. I knew that he’d go insane if I reach it. He saw through me and gently grabbed my wrist.

“No, not yet!” he asked so I just started stroking his naked shoulder and back, which made him shiver “Oh, kitty, you’re so tasty” he said after he licked my breasts one by one and started biting them gently. He pressed his hips against my groin and I felt his lust rising. I wanted to free my favourite toy from his trousers’ tight embrace. But he didn’t let me – I hardly could move under my conqueror.

“You enjoy… teasing me, don’t you?” I moaned when he started pampering my nipple with his soft lips and I felt that his skilled hands somehow got rid off my skirt, so now I was wearing just my panties, the suspender and my stockings, which reached up to the middle of my thighs.

“You know, you’re insanely sexy in this lingerie… You drive me crazy with it… this is one of my weaknesses.”

“I know sweetheart, I’ve bought it for you, not for me. And I’m wearing it to please you.”

“Sweetie!”

“David! Bite me harder! Love me! And come into me! I go nuts here under you.”

He laughed quietly, but it ended up in a moan, when my hands grabbed his belt and I undid his trousers in a moment. At last he kissed me! He pressed his mouth passionately to mine, his tongue was chasing mine greedily, while he pulled down my thong and he ran his fingers slowly on my wet folds.

“It’s so good that you’re always waiting for me and you’re always ready for my love” he said and his long fingers started a dizzying game with me. I still had some strength to grab his harness and I started pumping it passionately before I totally lost my mind.

He growled loudly from this and forced himself to free his cock from my hand. I moaned disapprovingly, but he took my breath away when suddenly his mouth slid down between my legs and he began licking me so passionately like never be fore. I though I’d cum right there! He licked me with his whole tongue, he teased me then he started biting me gently as he opened me up with his fingers – and he started the whole thing again before sliding his tongue into me. By this time I was moaning like mad and I was screaming his name over and over again. He licked along my wet folds again and he took my clit between his soft lips. I was on the edge of my great climax within a second, but when he realised this with his cloudy head, he cruelly pulled back. He leant over me with his glistening lips and he sealed my thirsty mouth with his passionate and wet kisses.


	41. Chapter 41

41.

 

“I’ll take my time, kitty, you know it, right? I was waiting for this with you in the last couple of days. I was just lying alone on my bed and I felt sorry for myself and I was daydreaming about you.”

“What did you do, David?” I sat up suddenly.

“You’ve heard me.”

“Oh god, I used to daydream about you all the time, but now you’re my reality.”

“Say this again” he turned my head so I could look right into his green eyes.

I gently took his face between my hands and I smiled at him as I said “Now you’re my reality with Martin” and I pulled him closer for a tender and short kiss then I looked into his eyes again “You know, I love you very much.”

“Yes. I think now I’m sure in it” he answered and he was just staring at me with those beautiful eyes. I melted again. He has such telltale eyes! I can read out a lot of things from them – a whole scale of emotions – telltale eyes, so they say.

With a little smile I gently went on with caressing his face as I tilted my head to the side. My previous impatience was gone as I was just looking deeply into his eyes, seeing those beautiful emotions, which were radiating towards me. My eyes drank in every little detail of his familiar face. He smiled back at me then he very slowly bent down to me. He waited until I closed my eyes and he started tickling my mouth with featherlike kisses, which soon became firmer, although they still belonged into the gentle category. I put my arms around his neck when he stroked along my lower lip with his soft and warm tongue. I opened my mouth willingly for him and our tongues met nearly in a shy way.

He was kissing me slowly and tenderly. We were kissing for long minutes, like teenagers at the bus stop. I don’t know how long. It was so good to love him! Oz, the great wizard – he wasn’t impatient either. It was heaven lying in his arms… feeling his care, his touches, his love. He slowly leant over me and put his weight onto my body. I was enjoying as he was slowly enslaving me, but he was so gentle that I didn’t even realize that I was his slave. I knew it and he knew it too and I let him do so. Willingly. My heart nearly ached from this tenderness. First he ran his fingers on my cheeks then on my neck and finally they were caressing my breasts. I closed my eyes and sighed, digging my fingers into his dark hair. I arched my whole body, I was waiting just for him and his fingers found my wet pussy again, stroking it with featherlike strokes.

“Jesus… David, I love you so and it’s so good to be with you!” I broke out and he was smiling at me gratefully. There was no trace of his stuck-up arrogance, there was pure gratitude in his smile. He was stroking me slowly, he took his time, but unnoticeably his moves started getting more intense until I was moaning so loud that it was shocking to recognize my own voice. He wanted to show that he can be very different. And he was on the right path in proving this. I’ve never got this much from this Dave. I’ve got a peep of it time after time, but those were just unnoticed moments. I’ve never seen this much gratitude and love in his eyes. He never wanted to please me this much before. While I moaned I bent my head back a bit and he gave small kisses onto the line of my jaw, my neck then he returned to my mouth so I had to stop moaning.

“Come on, my birdie, fly!” he whispered “Spread your wings and fly. You have nothing else to do just give yourself completely to me and I’ll make you fly, my beautiful hawk… And you’ll fly high and it’s up to you whether you come back to me or not.”

It was as if I’ve heard his velvety voice through a veil as I pressed my head into the pillow even more. First I held back my loud moans then I let them go. My left had grabbed Dave’s upper-arm. His fingers nearly gave me the final strokes to my jump.

“I… I’ll come back to you! Always…” I sighed then I gasped for air as the flow flooded my hot groin, like it made to fly every bird during the biblical deluge. And although the waves were strong, they were just stroking my body, just like Dave, who was watching me, but I couldn’t see his love-filled shining eyes, cuz my head was still buried into the pillow as I was floating higher and higher on the wings of my orgasm. Nothing else counted just flying high. David was the wind under my wings and I was flying high, straight into the sun.

But his cool stroke on my body distracted me and I came back to him, burying my face into his chest. I looked at him and I saw it. Now I saw his eyes, which were shining from love, his radiating smile, his tenderness. He embraced me and I was just enjoying as he was whispering love-filled words into my ear. It was like being home in my bed back in my childhood, when my grandpa was telling me stories. It was calm and full of love.

“Oh God… how did I deserve this?” I whispered faintly and while with one hand I was hugging him close, the other was stroking his face.

“What, sweetheart?”

“Your love, Dave.”

“You didn’t have to deserve it, I’m just giving it to you. Just because, just because I have you.”

“I don’t think that I’d been this happy before like now when I’m with you two. David, what’s with Martin?”

“Do you want him to finish our lovemaking?” he whispered looking into my eyes, while he brushed out a wet tuft from my forehead “Do you want him to penetrate you as deep as possible? To strain your hot pussy with his passionate moves?” he licked my earlobe.

“Oh yes, say me such things!!” I asked him, softly scratching his shoulders and I moved my hips too “Yes, I want it. I want both of you making love to me in the same time. There can’t be anything better than that in the universe. Nothing. As you two love me and each other. Oh god, I’d never thought that your love can be this beautiful. It’s so moving to see that you love each other this much.”

“And it’s moving that you love us this much and accept me and Mart” he whispered into my neck and with one hand he opened my legs tenderly “I don’t think that there’d be another person, who’d bear this much things from and for us” he caressed my face, looking up at me.

“I’d do more…”

“No, we don’t need more, we need just you…” he silenced me with a gentle kiss, propping himself on one hand next to my shoulder, while he took my face into his other. I realised just a few moments after that a hand was caressing my thigh and another parted my wet folds gently and a tongue started licking my clit in a sensual way.

“Martin!” I exclaimed supposing that Dave had no special powers to grow new body parts for himself.

“Yes, kitty, I’m here and I’ve heard your love-confession and I hope you know that no one can save you from us” he smiled and Dave leant to him, whispered something into his ear and Mart nodded. He looked up and pulled my hand to his trousers “Open it, Mia, there’s a surprise under it.”

“What’re you talking about?” Dave raised an eyebrow.

“Wait and see!” he smiled to himself.

“Are you nuts? What did you hide in your pants? Or you have now two dicks?” Dave laughed as he turned onto his side.

“Nothing like that, I just gave a fine packing for the present.”

I looked at him with big eyes and let him lead my hand under his trousers. Right under the belt there was a little box. I took it out.

“Sweetie, the one who’ll put it in will be right here” he said.

“But you two are the ones who do that!”

“No, no, Mia. I meant the piercing. Dave, do you remember how much I loved yours? If you don’t walk around in your apartment with naked ass, I thought I bring one for you too – to the same place where the previous one had been. I find it fucking sexy.”

“I don’t dare to guess where you hid it” Dave grinned widely.

There was a knock at the door. I was still holding on to Dave’s arm and moaned disapprovingly.

“Who the hell can this be?” I whispered towards the ceiling then I looked at the guys. Dave shrugged and looked at Mart.

“Buddy, I think you’re the closest to the door and you have more clothes on, so…” he noted on a still hoarse tone.

But Martin didn’t stand up. He knew who it was and he invited the guest in. A blonde hot chick came in wearing tight jeans and a red top.

“What the hell?” Dave murmured.

“Well Davie, down with those pants, go on all fours on the bed” Mart commanded.

“Don’t say that… Martin, you’re not normal. You want me to show her my bare ass?”

“Me thinks it’s quite a showpiece” Martin said quietly and he could barely stop himself not to run his fingers on that really divine butt “Relax Dave, she’ll have an easier way with you, cuz the place of the piercing is already there.”

He took a box just from his back pocket – although I’m sure Dave wouldn’t protest against Mart’s BACK pocket – and Curly opened it. It was a ring – quite wide for a piercing – it was full of Celtic runes.

“David I let this done for you. I asked a friend of mine so the runes hide a meaning too. If you’re curious, with time you’ll find it out.”

“Martin! What’s on it?”

“The thing we both know and want and… and… you’ll see. I asked Anton to take some pics of it…”

“Anton?”

“He didn’t ask a thing, he liked it – it never crossed his mind that this isn’t an earring. You know that he lives in his own world and how abstracted he is.”

“You’re not normal!” he broke out and looked at the woman who was unpacking her things. I l covered my mouth with my hand to hold back my giggle and slid up to the headboard, pulling my legs up. Then Dave looked at the waiting chick “Miss, I hope you know what you do” he sighed.

“Just relax, dear David. It won’t hurt, just take off your underwear and do what your friend said.”

David turned away from the blond chick and pulled it off shyly and by this time I was shaking from my silent laughter – I turned away so he couldn’t see it. The chick’ll see everything from him within a few moments and he turns away to take off his underwear… Finally I realised between my grinning sessions that he’s embarrassed and that my sweetie… is shy! Until now I never spotted this, but yes, there were always just the three of us. I stopped giggling, cuz I felt sorry for him. I slid next to him and started encouraging him quietly.

He nodded and squeezed my hand “You were laughing at me, Mia! I saw you did. But you’ll get what you deserve for this – you’ll be the next” he said.

“I’m sorry, my love. It never crossed my mind – knowing how exhibitionist you are – that there are situations when you can be shy.”

“Well there are” he said nearly pouting “I’m not that wild rock star anymore…”

“I know and I’m sorry. It was just strange to realise this” I took his face between my hands and gave a soft kiss onto his lips.

“It’s alright” he smiled at me faintly then he jumped a bit when the woman disinfected the area.

“Relax a bit. This’ll be unpleasant and maybe it’ll hurt a bit, but as I see, you had such a piercing earlier, so it’ll be easier for me to insert this.”

“Alright, let’s do this” he said and looked at me. Then he put his head onto my shoulder, inhaling my scent hoarsely.

It was over within a minute and now I had to suffer through this procedure too, but I had to lie on my back and spread my legs wide. I moaned painfully. It wasn’t a great feeling. I’ve never thought that once I’ll have such a piercing. Well okay, I had one in my nose when I was younger, but such an intimate bodypiercing? But it hurt less already when it came into my mind how many naughty things we’ll do with these… So it was over within a minute. Martin ringed us like they do with birds. I was thinking that he should have something similar too and I asked the woman whether she had pieces with her for selling. Luckily she had. We turned to the dead pale Martin with a wide grin.

“Noooo! I will not…” he protested, holding his hands up.

“Why not? Only you have the right to mark us?” I asked and crawled slowly to him. I had to get used to the little pain and the feeling. It was very weird. “We don’t want to be the only ones, who feels like ringed birds…” I put my arms around his neck and winked at the other woman, grinning. She smiled back and waited patiently, disinfecting her stuff.

“Yes, buddy, we want to see one on you too. But we’ll tell it with Mia, where to put it. Come Mia, cuz he’ll do this only for you” and he winked at Marty “you can decide where the piercing’ll go.”

“To the same place we have it.”

“Ohmygod, I’ll faint!” Mart’s mouth twisted.

A rescue idea came into my mind. As I sent Dave an apologizing look, I put a glass of whiskey into Marty’s hand. He didn’t hesitate and the drink was gone in a moment, but the encouraging drink showed no bravery in him. He drank the next round quickly too. The chick warned him not to get drunk, cuz then the wound’ll bleed more, cuz the capillary vessels won’t contract. This was enough for him. After kneeling onto the bed, like Dave did earlier, he grabbed the blanket and clenched his teeth together.

“I can’t believe that you dragged me into this!”

“Who dragged in whom, Marty?” Dave asked him “Kitty, hold our hero’s hand, cuz the hardest part comes now.”

Martin hissed and panted from pain – cursing and lining up all the saints form the calendar and when he was at the end of the list, the chick finally finished his torture.

“Well, Mr. Gore, we’re ready. Wow, it’s a personal record to do 3 such piercings within 15 minutes.”

Everyone laughed. Martin turned onto his back still hissing and lifted his hips so he could drag his trousers up then he slowly stood up. He reached into his wallet and paid for the hot chick – who really knew what she was doing – and he thanked for her work. The piercing was still sensitive for me too, but it wasn’t that bad. Dave didn’t give a shit at all and Mart… well Martin was walking around in the room like a penguin. First he switched on the TV then he paddled into the bathroom. When he came back there was a huge smile on his face.

“Wow, it looks fucking awesome! I checked it in the mirrors.”

Dave grinned “It is Marty, it is. In three days time I’ll kill you, you’ll see! Just your little ring, you and me!”

Martin shivered. Dave knew that he would. Anytime he said something like “just you and me” Martin got into a nearly ecstatic state of mind. I could understand him. I was just grinning like mad and pulled the blanket over me as I was leaning against the headboard.

“Dave, honey…”

“Yes, Mia?” he turned to me questioningly, but he couldn’t stop grinning either.

“Would you tell me what I should do with this nice little piercing? I mean who long does it need to heel? Cuz in the big hurry this lady couldn’t share much information about it… Ehm… and when can we use it?” I blushed even from the thought.

“You little white-livered minx…” Martin laughed as he stopped in the middle of the room.

“Until you can use it without causing pain you’ll have to wait around 3 days. And kitty, Martin, you’ll get a surprise from me too, just to have more fun.”

“Jeez, David, don’t do this to me, please! I know what you’re up to!”

Dave just smiled “Keep it easy Martin, I’ll buy one for me too and you’ll hold it in your hand.”

“What, what, what, what?”

“Relax Mia. You feel like you’re his slave, right? Our one and only Dave want to let us see this visually too.”

I shivered lusciously. “Uhhh… you two bring me into the depths of sexual games, my dears…” I licked my mouth “Is there some nice cuffs you were talking about, my panther?”

“He’ll keep us on silver chains. Do you know kitty, where that thin chain’ll go, kitty? Do you guess it now?”

“Holy Jesus, Martin! Don’t say that…”

“He doesn’t need to buy cuffs and shackles, he has a cool little black leather-bag full of his pretty treasures.”

“Dave, why didn’t you tell me this yet?”

“Everything has its own time – waking up and going to bed too. The time was here for this now. This is a fellowship among us Mia. And now you’re the third member of it. The chain – which you’ll wear – is a special alloy. It cannot be torn, like we cannot tear our relationship apart. It’ll enslave you, it’ll make you a slave, but it’ll bring you freedom on the wings of joy.”

“You’re a poet!”

“Not exactly, these are Martin’s words! He told me them when I’ve got my first chain from him.”

“Dave, stop it! You embarrass me!”

“Boys, I’m amazed!”

“No wonder” Dave grinned.

“Hey!” Mart growled at him, but he couldn’t hide his grin either “Both of us knew Dave that once we’d reach this point with our kitty, right?”

“Well, you’re welcome in our little group. Don’t ask, it has no name yet. You can name it if you want” Dave said.

“Hmmm… let’s see…” I grinned patting my chin, while I was holding the blanket to my chest “What should it be… I got it! Let’s call it ‘The Sweetest Perfection’! So we don’t have to go far…”

“Do you feel it perfect?”

“Our love is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced or dared to dream of. It’s not ethereal and high, but fierce, passionate, can tear us apart and oh it’s so beautiful! Anyone who says the opposite… but who could say anything? We are the only ones who know about it. We love each other, we’re addicted to each other. It’s Heaven if we cooperate, but if we are selfish or mean, it can be Hell. This feeling is ours Martin, David, just ours!”

“Exactly, Mia” Dave caressed my legs, which were covered by the blanket “This relationship is so unique, I can’t compare it to anything” he looked at Martin too, who finally sat next to us.

"Takes me completely, Touches so sweetly, Reaches so deeply, I know that nothing can stop me" I sang happily but my eyes were serious.

“Martin, you knew what you were writing about, right?” David stroked Curly’s nape.

When he wanted to pull his hand back, Mart took it and pulled Dave to him. “I love you.”

Dave laughed shortly from this quick switch, but his eyes were serious, grateful and full of love. “I love you too, Martin, you know it well…” he answered on a low tone and pressed his lips gently against Mart’s “And this little gift of yours… I didn’t know that you’ve missed my ring this much…” he smiled with a hot gaze.

“Yeah, I’ve missed it. Very much. But not in the way you might think, but… I know how great was your ecstasy when I loved you that way and I want to see you out of your mind from joy again, so you won’t know anything about yourself and you won’t feel any pain. I don’t want you to feel any pain anymore. David, please come here and you too Mia! I can’t describe how much I love you two. And I know that it’ll end badly. I feel it in my guts, in my blood. I know it. And before something bad can happen – I don’t know what, I just have a very bad feeling about it – I want you to know that I love you.”

“Martin, did you have a nightmare?” Dave nuzzled to him.

“It wasn’t a dream. My eyes were open and I saw myself dead. Someone hit me with a car. Maybe it’s just insanity, maybe it’s just a hunch, I don’t know.”

“No! No one can hit you, Martin!” I protested and put my arms around his neck “I wouldn’t survive that!” my heart and stomach sank. I nearly felt sick from this possibility.

“Bullshit, it was just a dream” Dave caressed his face “We’ll take care of you.”

Mart seemed strange when I looked at him. It was as if he was somewhere else for a few moments. He was listening to the inside – or something like that. Dave noticed this too and frowned with worry.

“Martin, all three of us will sleep here tonight, okay luv?”

“Yes, yes, stay with me here. Somehow we can kill time until then. It’s too bad that there isn’t a concert tonight - that would distract me from the stupid things which are whirling in my head.”

“We’ll distract you, sweetie” I gave a little peck onto his face “Do you want to go out and have a nice dinner somewhere? I’m hungry like a wolf. Or we should rather order something from room service?”

“Let’s go out tonight. Anywhere, just let’s get out of here. Let’s call Andy, Bob and Christian. And Kessy” he looked at Dave “Let’s show ourselves to the world. Depeche Mode is here!”

“Alright Marty, as you wish” Dave stroked his arm.

“Then let’s go, hurry up, boys! Get out of bed and go and dress up!” I smiled and evolved from their embrace.

While I was helping Marty to get dressed, I was giggling at the way he was paddling. Dave called everyone we wanted to invite to one of Miami Beach Line’s restaurants, where we could eat Cajun dishes.

“Martin, sweetie, the others will die from laughing, if they see you walking like this. Try to straighten your back!”


	42. Chapter 42

42.

 

The ruins of the storm were cleaned up amazingly quickly. People could run on the streets again and a few restaurants, which weren’t that damaged, were open now. We arrived to one of these reserved places. No one wore posh clothes, we were in simple clothes as we settled down to our tables. I sat next to Martin, who was sitting next to Dave. Our panther already had a long conversation with Jennifer, who meanwhile went home to Rosie and Jimmy, and when she heard about the hurricane, she immediately called Dave when she finally got through to him on the phone. After he ended the conversation, we could eat the dinner more calmly.

“Finally everything’s calmer and we can move on” Martin said with his mouth full. He liked the Cajun dishes and everything which was spicy. It was rich and spicy food – as he liked it. The fatter the better, he thought.

“This sounded as if you quoted from a gangster movie” Dave smiled.

“Hmm, uhm… yeah…”

“Mart, don’t eat this fast, you’ll feel sick later” I warned him with worry in my voice.

“No way! I’m not eating as fast as Kessy! Look!” he pointed at the other man.

“Okay, but he got used to it that he’s always on the run because of the band’s things…” Dave smiled too.

“And does he really need to eat like this? I wouldn’t be his wife! No matter what I’d cook, he’d shovel it in, like a railroad worker does with the coal into the engine” Mart grinned.

Everybody was laughing now on this, except Jonathan, who didn’t hear what Mart said, cuz he was concentrating on eating his food. He looked up from his plate just because he heard the laughter.

“What? What’s up?”

Someone told him Mart’s comment and he was murmuring something disapproving under his moustache “It’s not true! I do appreciate good food. And good gracious, no, Martin! You being my wife? Nooo! Although now that you mention it, that wedding dress suited you. You were so chaste in it!”

“Oh yeees!” Dave laughed too, but in his eyes such a flame flickered, which only the two of them – and of course me – could see “It really heightened your model-like figure, Marty…”

I bit down on my lip as I was grinning at them with my fork in my hand and I tried to hold back my laughter. But something else started growing inside of me too. Damned piercing! I should hold myself back for three more days? – I thought and watched Martin’s reaction.

“Yeah, I liked that dress” he grinned “Making experiments is my second name. Let’s confess – I was wearing dresses for more than one year. Dave and the others went crazy from it and from people’s reactions. Shocking others, ha-ha. It was hard to digest it. But they’re like this, they don’t like if someone’s different” he smiled, but then suddenly went silent and in the silence he started drinking again.

“Marty, sweetie…” I leant to him discretely after he’d finished dinner.

“Yep?” he squinted at me.

“I want you. Now” I slid my hand simply onto this thigh under the table.

“Should I put you on top of the table or should we climb under it?” he whispered into my ear.

“None of these, just sit calmly” I said and pulled down his jeans’ zipper and freed my little friend. I managed to surprise Marty. With one hand he quickly grabbed his glass, the other went for his beer and he was holding on to them. He hid his face half-way behind the bottle of beer so others couldn’t see as his expression has started changing. I took control and started pumping him with a steady rhythm.

“Mia, if your finger hitches the piercing, I’ll scream out loud.”

“Relax, Martin! You can choose: you let me do this, or you find a place where you can fuck me until I’m unconscious.”

It was amusing watching the effects of my words on his face. The shock was replaced with longing then I saw that passion washed through his brain. If there weren’t this much people around, I’m sure he would’ve come at me.

“Maybe I’d like the second option better…”

“Just maybe?” I whispered into his ear and pumped him harder. He barely could stop his moan. I squinted at Dave, who was talking to Christian.

“No. I’m sure!” Blondie whispered.

“Then?”

“Let me go and let’s find some place!” he breathed hotly into my neck. A shiver ran down my spine and I quickly packed him back into his trousers. I already felt the dampness in my panties, although he didn’t even touch me yet… He jumped up from the table and said something I couldn’t get and he ran towards the toilets.

Dave looked up from his conversation “What’s wrong with him, Mia?”

“Dunno Dave, maybe… the piercing” I whispered into his ear “I go and check on him” I said and I disappeared too. I saw him looking at me confused, but then he turned back to Kessler and Anton. The guys have started bombing him with questions about something.

I walked towards the place where I saw Martin disappear. I felt that someone grabbed my arm and I was already pinned to the wall.

“Where’ll we do it?” I moaned into Martin’s mouth.

“In the ladies’ room. No one will bother us there.”

“And what do you think? How’ll you come in?”

“I’ll use the door, of course. Wedding dress, remember? Let’s change our tops here and give me your makeup stuffs!”

“You’re totally crazy! If they catch us! The press! Isn’t it enough that you fuck in the ladies’ room – they’d arrest you just for this too – but you want to do it in such an outfit?”

“Do it” he commanded “or else I’ll fuck you here!”

I obeyed while I whispered that he was totally insane. His answer was that yes, because of me… Then I giggled when he really did this. But I stopped laughing when he took my hand and pulled me into the deserted toilet. We were lucky. Within a minute I found myself in one of the cabins and heard as he locked us in.

“It’s over for you now” he pressed me to the wall and started kissing me fiercely. I didn’t protest, but unzipped him and freed my friend again. He was quite hard from the futile yearning. And like many times before, I fell onto my knees in front of Martin’s size… I took him greedily between my lips, which he praised with a suppressed moan. I was pampering him with closed eyes, one hand helping my work on him. He was holding himself up with his hands as he leant against the cabin’s walls. I was working on him faster and deeper as I was kneeling between his opened legs until he moaned a big one.

But he didn’t moan because he came, but to prevent me from pushing him over the line. He wanted to bury himself into me. Completely. I saw it in his eyes. I knew from one look what he wanted. He pulled me up by grabbing my arms and pinned me to the wall with a greedy kiss. He lifted me up, tore my panties off and penetrated me deeply. It was insane! The cabin’s walls were banging and moving.

“Be careful Marty, we’ll fuck this place to pieces” I panted into his face.

“I want exactly that.”

He was fucking me hard and fast, but I was so aroused that this time I couldn’t wait for him, I was climaxing loudly in his arms. I didn’t dare to imagine what’d have happened if someone came in! But luckily no one came, so I was the only one who could hear his hoarse yell as he was cumming into me with his long thrusts. Oh god, I loved the feeling! I was kissing his lips greedily, with all of my love. He made me happy again.

“Kitty-Mia, you cat woman, you… I love you!”

“Hmm… I love you too, my blonde prince. Come, let’s clean ourselves up and go back to the others.”

“I hope Dave won’t be mad, I’m sure he suspects what we were doing.”

“If I’m lucky, he’d do something like this with me too” I giggled and caressed Martin’s face. I let him put me down and I arranged my clothes as best as I could.

“Aren’t you a little nympho, kitty?” Martin smiled.

“Maybe, Marty, maybe. You two make me one, cuz I just can’t get enough of you…” I put my hands around his neck once more after we were ready and I kissed him gently “But I’m ‘very’ sorry that I don’t have any panties on again. I have to spend half of my salary onto them…” I giggled and unlocked the door.

Marty embraced me from the back and whispered into my ear: “I love you better without panties anyway – immediate admittance guaranteed. David loves you this way too.”

“You’re a pig! And I love you without underwear!”

“Kitty, do you think I’m wearing one now, hmm?”

“Oh god, you aren’t?”

“Don’t you pay attention on what you do?”

“Well, all of my attention went for my little friend.”

“I think your little friend was very grateful…”

“I don’t think, I know it” I giggled and with a napkin I wiped off the rest of Mart’s make-up and I asked back my top. He would have looked funny, if he walked back to the table like this.

\---

Dave was still in a deep conversation and barely looked up when we arrived back. He tried to bring over the others about something. He was gesticulating and agitating. He used an edgy tone then he suddenly jumped up – his chair hitting the ground – and he nearly turned over the table too.

“Keep it easy, Dave! What’s the problem?” Martin stepped to him and took his arm.

“EMI wants new promo shoots – as we are joking around – one day in our lives or something like that. I’ve told Anton that I won’t do it.”

“Why not?” I asked carefully and softly – I wasn’t sure that he even heard it.

Martin hissed a bit from my question. Dave just looked at me then stormed out without a word, letting us behind. I didn’t think, I just ran after him.

“Dave, my dear, please stop!” I called after him.

And to my biggest surprise he stopped and looked back at me waiting and surprised “You called me ‘my dear’, Mia?”

“Yes, David.”

“You’re so sweet! It’s like we were husband and wife” he smiled at me, but in the next moment his expression went dark when he saw Anton behind me “No, no and no!” he yelled “You won’t make a dancing monkey from me again!” he screamed at the top of his voice and instead of using the elevator, he chose the steps. By the time we arrived with the elevator, we just heard the bang of his door. Anton looked at me doubtingly.

“You go after him?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“And… would it be a big demand, to…”

“To influence him?”

“Well…”

“Why do you think he’ll listen to me?”

Anton gave just a ‘don’t think I’m a fool, I’m not stupid’ look.

“I won’t promise anything” I shrugged then left him there on the corridor, stepping to Dave’s door. I waited until Anton disappeared then I softly knocked.

“Leave me alone!” I heard the angry yell.

“Dave, it’s… it’s just me… Can I go in or you send me away too?”


	43. Chapter 43

43.

 

He opened the door and let me in. Seeing him so unhappy from the idea, I’ve decided to stop speaking about it, I won’t tell him a word about it. I nuzzled to him like a cat, cuz I knew how much he loved it and I looked up into his smiling eyes.

“What do you want, kitty? I know you want something – you’re like this when you do.”

“Dave, please come with me, I want a tattoo and I want you to figure it out, to draw it.”

“What? How did this come into your mind?” he smiled at me.

“I don’t know. I always wanted one” I shrugged and slid my hands onto his butt.

“And where do you want it?” he caressed my face.

“Onto my back, David. I want something beautiful like your wings, honey. What’d you recommend for me? I want something you like, I want to wear it until my last breath and I want it to remember me on you.”

“Mia… you know that this… serious?”

“Yes… it’s like a mark for forever. Your mark on my body” I whispered caressing his cheek “It’ll be the sign of my deep love for you. Do you get it Dave? Do you get it that I’m ready to wear and bear your love until the last day of my life?”

“Yes, my love, I know and I find it immensely moving. You know how much love I need and you try to give me as much as you can. Do you want me this badly, Mia? You really need me this much?”

“Yes Dave… This much… When you are whispering in my ear, You have nothing to fear…” I whispered to him as I hugged him firmly “I want your hands to make our love visually visible on my back. Will you do this for me, my love?” with a moved heart I whispered it quietly as gentle as possible. He didn’t answer just grabbed my wrists and put my hands around his waist. He leant to me and kissed me tenderly then whispered into my ear:

“I will do whatever you want, Mia… I love you very much, you know it, right?”

Goose bumps appeared on me everywhere as he gave a kiss behind my ear too. “I can’t get bored of hearing it” I whispered back and kissed him with my overwhelming emotions.

“Baby, you drive me crazy and make me do things, which are dangerous and risky and full of pain, you know.”

“Dave, what did you do?”

“I gave back that slap, which you’ve got and I packed my things together. I’m a homeless dog, a roaming guy. Please take me in! Do you still want to watch one of my days? I’m yelling at my daughter, cuz I see that Jen raises her against me and I don’t like the way she’s with me. She speaks to me on a patronising tone, although I’m her dad and I love her so much. After this Jen made me so angry that I’ve slapped her in the face in a restaurant. Well, does anyone want to make a film of a monster?”

“What… what did you do, Dave?” I looked at him shocked, but I didn’t let him push me away. I was holding his waist firmly “Look at me, Dave! Tell me what’d happened, please!

“I had enough, Mia! She was just using me, she never paid attention to me anymore, she was just pretending it. She’s been pretending it as a hypocrite that she’s my lovely wife, although I’ve felt it that something’s changed. I kept telling myself that everything was alright… that I love her and she loves me, and meanwhile who knows what she was really thinking of me or who knows what she was telling to Rosie, confusing her! My little angel! You can’t imagine how much it hurt to see her acting with me like that! With ME, whom she always loved more than anything!”

“But… what did she exactly told her that her opinion about you has changed like this? And… how did you find out all this?” I looked at him desperately. It hurt seeing him like this and now I understood why he reacted like this to Anton’s demand.

“There were people, who helped and opened my eyes. And finally I saw it – I saw everything in it’s true form. Mia, I love you and only you and Mart. Please, take care of me! I need you. Take care of me! I don’t want to beg to anyone, ever again. You accept me the way I am. Thank you! Please, love me!”

“You don’t have to ask it Dave, you know it well” I whispered leaning my forehead to his “And… I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. You’d deserve happiness. Being loved! I’ve never understood why don’t you don’t get it, cuz this is such a simple desire and demand. It’s so easy for me to love you. Cuz you know, we lived through awful and hard things too, but no matter what I’ve said to you, I always loved you. And the strangest thing is that I’ve never felt like this with another person in my life. Previously my selfishness dominated and I never let anyone really close to me. But you let my walls fall down so easily… they melted from one of your smiles…”

“Yes, I’ve showed you how weak and frail I am actually. Not that hero you’ve expected. Silly little problems drive me crazy and I’m a neurotic, depressive half-mad fool. But I’m yours. I’m yours from today on if you like, if you accept me as your mate. But please think about it, cuz I’ll die from the next break up. I can’t take it anymore. I just want love and peace. If you accept that sometimes I’m mean and I want it all and immediately then it won’t be a problem. Later I’ll always apologize. Martin won’t mind it, if you really are my partner. Cuz he’s as close to us as we are to each other. And although he has his own house, he’ll be at our place a lot. Hmm, what do you say?”

“Dave… are… are you serious?” I asked stammering and felt that tears welled up in my eyes “Really? You aren’t joking, are you?”

“I’d never joke about this! You know me this much, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Well?” he asked me with so much pain and tenderness in his eyes that my heart thudded painfully in my chest. I had to swallow, although my throat was dry. I’d have never believed that once I’d stand here. Him waiting for my answer to this question of his! That once HE will ask me THIS question! I was moved to the very core of my soul. I felt as if I was drowning from the love I felt towards him! The lump in my throat was threatening with choking me. I felt my eyes opening and two big and hot teardrops ran down my face.

“There’s nothing else in the world I’d want more… I want to be… with you” I swallowed hard “Yes, Dave, I want to live with you.”

“Thank you. I had to know this. We have to talk to Martin, we have to tell it to him. Maybe he’ll be surprised after all. Mia, Mia…” he said and his whole body started shaking from his emotions “I want just you, do you understand it?”

He took my breath away. No, I didn’t understand him completely. I didn’t want to understand what he was saying!

“Dave… this means that… I can’t be with… Martin anymore?” I whispered hoarsely. I barely could choke out this sentence, my throat was so tight.

He looked at me surprised “Well, no, I didn’t mean it like this. He’s the only exception. He’s somewhere the extension of my self. He’s a part of what I was talking about. I meant that I want to live with you and maybe even more, if you can bear me on the long run.”

“Dave… I’m already too addicted to you” I smiled “I think this gives you the answer to your question, doesn’t it?” I looked up at him and I knew that he was reading from my eyes. I was caressing his back tenderly as I was hugging him.

“Mia…” he sighed “You’re a wonderful woman…”

“Thank you for thinking of me this way, my love.”

“It’s so good to hear this ‘my love’!”

“You are, Dave, you are. I love you mindlessly and insanely and I’m very happy that Fate gave me the chance to live with such a wonderful man like you. Just the spit, the hack and the great bell can part us.”

“What?”

“David, just death can part us.”

For a moment he looked at me with a strange expression.

“Death… yes, it’s a great power. An important part of our lives. Whom we faced both” he whispered.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just love me. Until the end of the tour I try to get rid off Jen, but you’ll move in with me even if I don’t manage to do so, okay? I don’t want to spend a single day without you!” he murmured on a low tone “I’m sorry, my emotions took me too far” he said “But now I had enough of everything. I want to rest, I want peace. Will you able to give them to me?”

“I hope I will. Although I can’t influence the outside factors, but I’ll try to give you a peaceful atmosphere so you’ll be able to rest. Sometimes… you look so tired, sweetie…” I stroked his face a bit sadly.

“I am tired. This tour was long.”

“It’s nearly over – maybe five concerts, ten days.”

“Yeah, I know. You know, there’s just one thing on my mind now. The desire for being with you is so strong in me. I just want love. I know how childish this might sound, but it’s true.”

“I love you very much Dave and I don’t want anything else either. I’m scared from it of course, but I never wanted anything more in my life than you.”

“Hmmm, little Mia, you’re my mate, hah. Or I should say we three have each other” he smiled “Mia we have to tell it to Mart that I want – we want – him near too. I don’t want to leave NYC – for me it’s the only place in the world where I can live and a lot of bad memories connect me to LA, I don’t want to go back there. I want my own flat, my familiar surroundings, my studio above us. Kitty, a new album is ready in my head, I want to do it. I feel so tired and old. Hourglass will be its title and it’ll be about the passing of time, things slipping away and about death.”

“David, my love, you scare me!”

“Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart. I don’t want to do anything against myself. I just want to be with you, with you two. But… I have to write out my bitterness and letdowns. Everything, which affected me in the last months, years… you, my family, my job, my problems, my pain, my tiredness... everything” he whispered and at the end he bent his forehead to mine “After it I want to rest. I want to enjoy life with you, between your arms, healing in the warmth of your love… Will you give this to me, Mia? Are you ready for this?”

“I’m ready to give you anything I can, David, anything. Ask me whatever you want” I whispered and my tears started to flow, I was so moved. And then he closed me into his arms.

He had no more words to say, he just embraced me then kissed my tears off. He sank deep into my eyes. I could see gratitude, thanks and love in his look then he started kissing me tenderly.

“I want you Mia.”

“I want you too. Come into bed and love me, sweetie!”

He nodded and locked the door and slowly followed me, kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his shirt. By the time he reached the bed, he was wearing only a half-way opened jeans. He lay down onto the bed and was waiting for me. I approached him slowly, getting rid off my clothes. When I reached him, I was fully naked. I sat onto his hips carefully then I leant forward to kiss him, while one of my hands started caressing his body. I felt him shivering from my touches as he returned my kisses.

“Come, take what you want from me, don’t be polite. I feel so old, Mia!”

“Dave… my love… you’re not old!” I whispered as I took his face between my hands then I started kissing his chest as I slid lower on his thighs “You’re perfect to me in the way you are! With every mistake of yours, do you know?” I slid my hand softly under his pants.

“Ah, baby, yes, it’s so good. Take me into your mouth, sweetie! Do it and let me forget everything that hurts now, my little kitty, my Mia, my little Mia!”

I did what he asked me to do without a word, cuz I wanted him so much! Dave really was like a drug for me. First I pampered him tenderly with my hands then with my lips to hear his soft sighs and I knew they’ll be louder soon. His fingers dug into my hair softly. He was just laying there and let me do what we’ve done oh, so many times before! I wouldn’t be able to count all the occasions… His eyes were closed and he was breathing raggedly now. I looked up at my beauty. He has a wonderful body, but yes, time had left its marks on him – time and suffering.

He opened his eyes and our gazes met “Sweet” he said again “you are sweet Mia and beautiful.”

“Thank you my dear. How do you want it? What do you want?”

“Just do it, I leave it to you” he said and closed his eyes again “Anything you do to me feels so good.”

And I did what I thought he’d enjoy. An idea already formed in my head. I’ll love him softly so he could feel everything I feel for him. I wanted it deeply – full with emotions. I was playing with his hardness tenderly then after a few minutes I looked up at him again. This picture – Dave with closed eyes – had burned into my mind so many times, yet I couldn’t get enough of it. I always found him beautiful. I saw the pleasure and some kind of dark sadness, tiredness on his face in the same time. I crawled over him slowly and led him into my body carefully. I sighed and moaned quietly and started moving my hips on him. He didn’t open his eyes even now, but I knew that no matter how tired he was, he wasn’t asleep, cuz he was smiling and his hands grabbed my waist.

“Dave, what do you see now with closed eyes?”

“I see you even with closed eyes.”

“But what, what am I doing? Where am I?”

“You’re with me even inside my head. Do you want me to tell you what I see?”

“Yes… please! I want to know…” I sighed and licked my dry lips during slowly circling with my hips and I stroked along Dave’s tummy.

“I see a beautiful, slender young girl, who’s riding me and pushes me deeper and deeper into sweet oblivion with every moves of her. Her long, dark hair flows down her shoulders, her grey eyes are shining like the moon on the sky and her fine neck strains backwards. This girl loves me, I know, there’s no doubt about it. And I love her. I love her so much that if anything happens to her, I’d die from it. I’d follow her anywhere and if she goes to death, I’d follow her even there without any second thoughts. Mia, I love you.”

I couldn’t speak, I was just watching my love with his closed eyes and I simply couldn’t word it how much I loved him! I felt tears sliding down my cheeks without a sound and I couldn’t stop myself, I had to lean over Dave, who was still enjoying my moves with closed eyes. I kissed him with endless tenderness. I felt my tears falling onto his face, but it didn’t disturb me. After a few minutes I pulled my lips back a bit, but I still touched his as I whispered:

“I don’t believe in miracles, but they happen every day, when I’m with you… if I can kiss you, if you look at me, if you touch me… if I feel that you love me… I’m just afraid of losing you…” I ended on an even lower tone and I felt the new tears finding their ways in the half-light of the room, during our slow moves.

“I’m afraid of this too, sweetie. Please take care of yourself and of me! Let your vigilant eyes rest on this poor bastard so we can be together for a while. Maybe just the wonder of love had left for us, which shoot up from a bud and now blooms. It’s like the rare tropical orchids – they bloom just once in every ten years, but then they’re beautiful and majestic, like our love, Mia.”

“And fragile…” I whispered while I wiped away one of my tears from his face then I slowly straightened up and sighed. With half-opened mouth I started moving on him again, but this time my moves were more powerful. From the heat, which washed through my body, I had to lift up my hair for a moment, cuz I felt my tufts sticking together on my nape again. I felt his eyes on my body, but I didn’t look at him, I just started moaning and quickening my pace on him, making my moves deeper. He growled from the depths of his throat as the fever caught me and I was riding on my stallion with a wilder pace.

“Oh, yeah!” he groaned loudly.

“Yes, Dave, talk to me, growl, pant, rattle to me, I love it!”

He laughed on a low tone “Alright, sweetie, just tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you. I’m yours, take what you want from me and use me for your needs!”

“Come loudly, Dave!” I panted with even quicker moves, still with closed eyes as I propped myself on his tummy. His warm hands were sliding on my body. When they left my hips and grabbed my breasts, from the sudden feeling I gave him a scream, which ended up in a moan “I want to hear you… moan! As you… yell my name… again and again! I want to hear… to hear that you love me! Ahh, Dave!!” I moaned loudly, cuz I felt my body trembling more and more as I was closing to my own orgasm. I felt that I coated Dave’s hard cock with even more wetness. Along my spine big sweatdrops were sliding down.

And he did what I asked from him – he was rattling like a dying animal. His body arched under me, he lifted his hips and me and he was growling, oh god, he was growling so excitingly and he didn’t need much more, he cried out in his joy. And I followed him willingly with a wobbly scream, when I felt his hotness shot into my body.

“Oh, yess!!” I cried out right after my scream then I slowed my hips bit by bit and collapsed onto his chest with my trembling body. For a moment I felt my new piercing move, but I didn’t give a damn to the pain, I was just panting on his wet chest, fighting for some air.

“We made love, like wild animals, baby” he moaned.

“But you weren’t even wild!”

“No, I meant that we made love from our guts – instinctively. I made love to you as I take a breath, baby. It’s so good.”

“Yeah, Dave, it’s so good. So do you come with me to a tattoo saloon? Will you draw me my tattoo?” I asked him and stretched on him contentedly, giving him a purr too.

“I’ll go with you, kitty. I was already thinking of the figure. Just now, when you asked me what I saw.”

“A couple making love?” I laughed on a low tone.

“No, or at least not in the way you might think. I saw a black cat and a flying phoenix in front of me as they touch their lips together and their figures emerges from the curls around them. And the curls form ethereal wings for you along your shoulder-blades…” he ran his index-finger on the mentioned area “Well, how do you like the idea?” he looked at me with a little worry in his eyes, not sure whether I’d love it or not.

“It’ll be beautiful, Dave, really beautiful. I’ll have wings too, but not totally similar to yours. But it’ll be clear after all that we are a couple and we have wings. Oh, Dave, it’ll be so good! When, when will we go?”

“Well, there’ll be a concert tomorrow, but if everything goes fine, we’ll have two days off after it. Tomorrow morning we could go and find a professional shop for you, cuz I don’t want any problem with your tattoo. And tonight I’ll draw the draft, okay? And after the concert we go – is it okay with you like this? Prepare yourself that it won’t be pleasant and you’ll be under the needle for long hours!”

“It doesn’t matter, I want it and it’s plus joy that you’ll draw me the tattoo. Jeez, Dave, if you’d know!!”

“I know, sweetie and I see it on you and this makes me very happy, cuz I know how much you love me.”

“Dave, we should call Martin to come over and I think we should speak with him.”

“Alright, you’re right. I call him, but let’s get dressed first.”

“I’d like to have a shower first, if it’s not a problem.”

“No, just go, I wait for you. Do you want something from the room service?”

“No, thanks, just a bottle of water” and I disappeared in the bathroom.

By the time I came out and started dressing up, Dave was already eating a bar of Belgian choc. I smiled on his smeary mouth and leant down to kiss down the choc from the edge of his mouth then I reached for the water.

“Two minutes and Martin is here.”

“Great.”

There was a knock at the door in that moment. The half-naked little panther – the choc still in his hand – invited the visitor in. I was standing by the window, looking down at the street.

“Well, what’s up, guys? It’s something good, cuz Dave’s voice was telltale.”

“We have something to announce Martin: we’ll get married with Mia.”

“What?”

“Well not right now, but once in the future, but until then she’ll move in with me. I’ve ended everything at home, Mart.”

“What did you do?!” Martin broke out.

“What’ll we do?” I looked at Dave shocked. To tell the truth I’ve never gave it a thought that maybe he wants to marry me! Me! Nooooo…. This was too much…

“I couldn’t bear the hypocrite atmosphere at home anymore” he answered to Martin then looked at me “Yes, you’ve heard it right. One day you’ll be my wife, if you bear me and you’ll still love me.”

“Dave, are you nuts? Jen’ll kill you! She’ll ban Rosie from you! There are a lot of things she can use against you!” Martin exclaimed.

“I know. Every wonder lasts only for three days and I know she’ll sue me to my bare ass for maintenance and for her needs, but Kessy’ll help. The things with Theresa can’t happen again – now I’m much stronger and determined and she has one or two things whereat she’s not proud. I think she’d pee under herself, if I asked for a genetical test.”

“Dave, you can’t be serious!”

“I am. I’m not stupid.”

We were staring at him shocked – I folded my arms in front of my chest, Martin was patting his thigh. I couldn’t believe this! Rosie wasn’t Dave’s daughter? How can this be possible? And that despite this he loves her this much? And how does he know it?

“How…”

“How do I know it?” he looked at me suddenly. I nodded. “One or two of my friends enlightened me. For example a friend of mine who’s a doctor and who was looking at Rosie’s blood type in disbelief. He said that her and my blood-types are incompatible. She can’t be my blood. I’m not good at such things, but I love her, she’s my daughter and she’ll always be. I’m sorry…” he slowly, tiredly stood up from the bed and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him silently.

I looked at Martin confused, still with folded arms. I could imagine how much this could hurt for Dave. Knowing this terrible truth… Cuz he adored and still adores his daughter! How could Jen do this to him? I felt that anger started boiling inside of me. Just like a volcano!

“I’ll kill that woman!”


	44. Chapter 44

44.

 

I saw on Martin that he was at a loss too and couldn’t say a word either. It was clear that this was new for him too. Dave came out of the bathroom and smiled at us.

“What’s up? Everything’s okay, yeah, it’s okay.”

“Dave…”

“Marty, sweetie, listen – do you like NYC enough to live there?”

“What? What are you talking about?” he looked at him shocked “Are you OK?”

“Yep, I’m OK. Nothing can be better than that Mia showed me her burning love towards me a few minutes ago!” he smiled at me, but I saw that sadness was still in his eyes.

Mart looked at him suspiciously. “Why did you ask me this NYC thing?”

“Cuz we want you to live near to us or with us!”

“What? Me? Sure. I couldn’t live without you two anyway. But it’ll take some time to part my ways with Santa Barbara and bring my stuffs there. I was thinking about a big estate with two houses and we can walk freely, without giving any suspicious thoughts to anyone about our threesome. Mia lives with you and I’ll be your lover. Is it okay with you two?”

“Great!” we said together.

“Mart, on Long Island, on Martha’s Vineyard I already have an estate. Buy the neighboring one – there’ll be an auction. The owners got divorced and the guy didn’t want to give it to his greedy ex-wife” Dave smiled bitterly “I’ll talk to the estate agent, maybe it’s still on sale. At least I’ll know who’ll be my neighbour.”

I had to confess that this sounded really great. But I felt that this was too good to be true! It was like a fairy tale and I was worried about its fragility. I felt something bad coming, but didn’t say a word to them.

\---

Next day’s concert went smoothly. Before the show Dave showed me his draft of my future tattoo. He was working on it the whole afternoon. He wanted it to be perfect and because of this he sent everybody away, who dared to bother him. I let him work, I didn’t sneak in to take a peek. I was surfing on the internet to find some great tattoo saloons then I’ve spent an hour with my Curly too. During the whole concert I saw the finished sketch. It was beautiful! I kissed Dave all over when I saw it for the first time and I couldn’t wait to wear it on my skin. I’ve never thought that once I’ll have such a big tattoo, but love can make you do a lot of things and I always wanted to have a tattoo anyway. And here was the best opportunity to have one.

Next morning – after we climbed out of bed and had a quick shower – we got dressed and I was waiting for Dave excited and a bit nervous to hit the road and arrive to the chosen saloon. By the time we arrived there, I was shaking like a leaf. I’d have never thought that my love will do this, but he didn’t take me inside right away after we parked in front of the shop, but he led me to a nearby bar, where he ordered me a double whiskey and waved for me to drink it. I did it, but I started shaking even more, he embraced me and we stepped into the half-lit tattoo shop.

A bald man – tattoos all over – and a burning red-haired woman with piercings were there. The woman was about to start a tattoo at the further end of the shop. I shivered from the sound of the needle. The bald man looked nice as he turned to us and greeted us.

“Mr. Gahan, right?” he smiled at Dave.

“Yes” he nodded.

“Can I help you?”

“This time it’s not about me, but about my girlfriend” he said and handed him the sketch right away “We want this onto her back, nearly by the same height like mine and we want it now and at one go.”

“Will you bear it, Miss?” the guy asked me with doubt in his eyes.

“Mr. Gahan allowed me a drink in the nearby bar, so it looks I’ll be OK” I moaned.

The man smiled – still a bit doubtful – then he studied the design.

“I like its style. It’s niggling. Okay, no problem here. Please, follow me” he waved and led us to the back of the shop, which was separated with curtains “Please, take off your shirt and lay down there” he pointed at a tattoo table “First I’ll draw up the design. It’ll be quick. Then will come the harder part, but you don’t have to fear.”

I took a deep breath and lay down. I felt him drawing up the outlines then I felt Dave embracing my waist, holding me in place, and taking my hand firmly. Then the needle came to alive. I whined from the pain, but David started soothing me, he was talking to me to distract me. He was speaking about his estate on Martha’s Vineyard that how great is being there and how many things we could do with that place. Of course we’ll have to renovate it and build some new rooms there, so it can fit us and the changed circumstances perfectly. And he was just talking and talking – he never stopped – and when I finally asked the time, it turned out that it was already past 1 pm and the needle didn’t rest for a minute. It was still awfully uncomfortable, but the pain was quite bearable.

“You can talk quite a lot, Dave” I smiled up at him.

“I know” my love smiled back at me “and you can confess that I’m very entertaining too” he added with a smug grin.

Minutes passed, turning first into thirty minutes then to hours and Dave was just talking and talking, the tattoo artist was tattooing and I thought that I’d die there, but after a while I’ve got quite used to the pain. Although I couldn’t see it, but in my mind I had the picture as the guy was concentrating onto my back – sometimes wiping away the blood and paint from my skin. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all. But the booze, Dave’d bought for me before entering the shop, soothed my nerves a bit. I was relatively relaxed and I’ve decided that I won’t whine. I can bear it. I’m a grown up, strong woman. A half-back tattoo is nothing for me!

The tattoo artist – Mark – put in some music too, which was crawling into my head. I felt the sweat drops on my forehead from my suppressed moans, but I swallowed them. Instead I was grabbing Dave’s hand and I was playing with his fingers and with the ring on his middle finger, listening to his calming voice. When he’s with me, I can bear everything!

And finally the needle stopped, Mark’s hand rested and the master piece was ready. He wiped my back with some alcohol and water – which nearly killed me – but Dave was holding me firmly. He waved to another assistant of the saloon, who nodded and hurried out of the shop. Dave and Mark helped me up from the table after Mark covered the tattoo and taped it. My legs were shaking and I nearly fainted, but David embraced me and it was enough. I’ll go through hell with bare feet, if he embraces me.

“Mia, you must take care of this now” the master said “You won’t feel good for the next three days. The wound is big, Dave’ll take care of you, okay? Let him do what he needs to do and sleep on your tummy – you wouldn’t be able to sleep in another pose anyway.”

“Okay, I usually sleep on my back” I whispered. Dave helped me into my shirt and my eyes were still dry, cuz he looked into them and there were strange, hazy lights in his irises. The assistant came back and brought another double whiskey from the Pub. My love fished out a bottle of meds from his jeans’ pocket and shook three pills into his palm. I looked at him questioningly.

“Sleeping pills, Mia. Take them with the alcohol – I know what I’m doing, don’t be scared. I don’t want you to suffer too much. Do it, kitty!”

“Dave, I… it was very hard for me to stop using these things…”

“Sweetie, I won’t lead you back down that road.”

And then I saw the emerald, hazy lights in his eyes again and I obeyed. On our way back to the hotel I bent my head onto his shoulder and looked up at his face. I was dizzy as I’ve got lost in his wonderful eyes. They were holding me captive and they wanted to tell me something, which was beyond words. And he leant closer to me and gave a kiss onto my forehead and now I could see the fire too behind his nice, deep-green lights. Love and desire’s unquenchable fire was burning inside of him and like through an old iron-stove’s rails I could take a look straight onto the blazing flames. I knew what he was thinking, he knew what I was thinking. In the hotel room he softly lay me down and covered me with a light blanket. He sat next to me and took my hand into his, stroking my skin, waiting me to close my eyes. And finally my eyelids closed with the image of his love-filled face. I felt the power of the sleeping pills and the whiskies. I wanted to say something to him, but after a few moments it didn’t matter anymore as I was diving deeper and deeper into darkness.

\---

I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping, but I know that I had awful nightmares of enormous needles, grinning black ink-drawings, fiery hells and shining green eyes. In my dream I took strong pills again and I was drinking. It was horrible! Of course I had a fever when I woke up and a cool mouth planted a kiss onto my cheek. My blonde prince was with me, who surrounded me with tender care. My eyes were searching for Dave, but he was nowhere to be seen. I didn’t ask where he was, I sank into these green eyes. Oh, my green-eyed loves!

“Drink this and take this too” Martin asked me quietly and handed me a cool glass of water with a pill for my fever. Another pill!

“Noh… I don’t want pills again…” I whimpered. I felt that I was swimming in sweat.

“Mia, this is just for your fever, it won’t do any harm” he whispered, cuz I had a bad headache too, which was the effect of the whiskies and the painkillers.

“Martin, it hurts like hell! I’ll die!” I moaned.

“You won’t. Come kitty, I take you to the loo and I wash you down – I’ll leave out only your back.”

I let him lead me to the toilet and he gently pushed me onto it. While I was sitting there, he went out and put on a tea. He pushed me under the shower and carefully washed my body down. By the time we reached back to the bed, the maid’d already changed the sheets. Mart brushed my hair too and told me to sit on the edge of the couch for a while, so my back won’t hurt from laying this much. Finally I asked: “Dave?”

“He’d left and honey, you won’t see him for a weak or so. We had to cancel the concert too, but at least you can heal. Jen is out of her mind. She wanted to take Rosie away to an unknown place. Dave’s friends warned us and he made the police bring Rosie back. The situation is bad. I feel sorry for Rosie, but now Jen was working against herself. Dave handed in the papers for the divorce today morning and asked for summary proceedings. He wants to have the custody rights over Rosie. He’s afraid that Jen’ll take away Stella. It’s possible that we’ll have Rosie here for a while until things calm down a bit.”

“Holy shit!” I cried out. My jaw was somewhere on the floor. I was scared. “Jen’d be able to do so?”

“Yes, it seems…”

“But… she can’t ban Rosie from her father! Cuz she knows how much he loves Stella – even though that maybe she isn’t his daughter at all!” I strained and I had to moan right away, cuz my back hurt.

“And she wants to do that exactly because of this. Dave’d do anything for Rosie and Jen wants to keep him at her side playing on this.”

“And what if Dave gives in?”

Mart bent his head down and didn’t answer.

“Martin! What if Dave gives in? If, if…”

He still didn’t say a word.

“Mart, say something!”

“Mia, it wouldn’t be the first time…”

Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My first reaction would have been a painful yell, but this time not from the physical pain, but from the emotional one. He’d leave us? Was this possible?

“This… this means that once he did this to you? He had…”

“Yes. Once… I was suffering like hell… I think I’m still not over it completely. This is why I was afraid to start it over… This is why sometimes I’m so cold with him, I guess…” he was staring at the glass in his hand.

“And he… he… but of course… his family. I… I guess it’s more important…” I whispered faintly, but I nearly went insane from the pain as I said the last words. I was so terrified that he won’t come back! Everything we’d lived through was in vain? Everything we gave up for him with Martin can mean nothing? I felt the floodgates opening and I didn’t give a damn to the pain, the fever, to my back, to my headache – I was crying and whimpering like a little girl.

Martin sat down next to me with a sad expression and tried to comfort me. I saw the dread just in his eyes. “We have to wait and hope. I don’t want to promise anything, I don’t know how he’ll decide. I hope he’ll come back – I’ll die if he doesn’t.”

“Met too” I sniffed.

I don’t know how he’d managed to calm me down a bit. I think I was crying on his shoulder for a long while then the fever, the pain and the tiredness took their effects and I fell asleep again. I slept restlessly and days’d passed in pain. Martin was next to me and he was drinking a lot, but he never crossed that line with the booze and he took care of me. He kept my back clean and creamed it when it was necessary and I didn’t refuse a few drinks either. Pills tempted me again, cuz after the tattoo session my body got used to them desperately quickly again, but I tried to hold myself back, while I felt that I’m just half a person without Dave! I didn’t even care about the design on my back, which was healing nicely. I didn’t even look at it since he’d left. In case he won’t come back, I’d never set an eye on it. It won’t mean anything without him anyway…

\---

Eight days’d passed and we had to cancel two concerts. We couldn’t reach David. We nearly went insane. We loved each other with Martin as much as we could, but our every move contained the lack of Dave’s body and our every sighs called him.

On the ninth day he was there – he was skinny, careworn and had stubbles – holding another hand in his.

“Rosie!” Martin exclaimed surprised.

I looked at the blonde little girl and then at Dave shocked and I knew that my eyes were full of questions. Martin crouched in front of the little girl and embraced her, while I couldn’t move at all.

“Rosie, you know Martin and you’ve seen Mia too. Kitty, Mia is daddy’s girlfriend.”

“I see, daddy, she’s your girlfriend” the girl said without a smile. Her expression was tired and she just accepted this fact “It’s nice to meet you, Mia.”

I didn’t want to think about it how terrible things she had to live through in the last two weeks.

“Hi. It’s nice to meet you too” I smiled at her faintly and I looked up at Dave a bit unsure then back at her “Are you hungry or thirsty?” I asked.

“I’m thirsty, yes. Is there some orange juice around?” she asked hopefully. I saw on her how tired she was.

“I’m sure there is. I go and call room service. Do you want to sleep after it?”

“Yep, that’d be great” she yawned and put her little hand in front of her mouth.

“Just leave it to me” Martin said “Rosie, I take you down to the restaurant to eat something, okay?”

“Daddy, can I go with Marty?”

“Sure, kitty. Thanks Mart” he gave him a tired smile “Eat and drink something and give her some sweets and bring her up to sleep, please. Thanks again, Mart!”

“Dave, you know it’s nothing.”

Dave just nodded and waited until Martin stepped out of the room with Rosie. There were just the two of us. I folded my arms and I looked at him doubtingly and questioningly. I didn’t want to attack him with my questions, but I think he knew that I was curious what’d happened, why he came this late.

“Before you’d ask anything kitty, no, nothing has changed – you’re still the one I want to live with and I’d die without Mart, but this’ll be tough. I’ve already lost Jimmy, cuz I haven’t adopted him and I have no rights in that case” he said and bent his head down as he started crying quietly.

“Oh god…” I whispered and embraced his shoulders reassuringly as I sat down with him onto the bed. I pulled his head onto my shoulder and let him cry and grab me desperately. It hurt like hell seeing him like this, but I knew that his pain was even bigger now. I had to help him somehow! “Tell me…” I started carefully after a few minutes when he was sniffing a bit quieter “… do you want to talk about it?”

“I can’t now. Maybe later” he lifted his teary face “Baby, do you feel yourself too young for an eight year old little girl?”

“No, David, of course not. I’ll be her stepmother, if I can. But obviously she feels herself awful too.”

“Definitely. The local sheriff had to hunt her mother down in Virginia, in the summer house. He literally took her from her mother’s arms and brought her to me, while my teenager son was shouting that he doesn’t want me to leave, cuz he loves me. I thought I’d die there. Maybe I did. I feel him… very close to me… I’ll try to fight for some rights to be able to see him, or he’ll get away – luckily he’s already 15, and the court’ll consider his will too.”

“I love you David, and no matter what I have to do, I’ll do it for you.”

“Do you really want this? During the trial people’ll call you on many names, but not as an honorable woman.”

“I didn’t care! I want you to feel happy! According to he circumstances of course” I took his hands and squeezed them “Can you get it? I gave up everything for you two, I came back to you after Copenhagen, I presented our love with a tattoo! I’ll bear this too, cuz this’ll be for you and for your children! Although… It was way beyond my imagination that Jen can be such a mean bitch!” I said and this was the first time when anger flashed in my eyes.

“Well, it seems she can. And this isn’t the first time. And I’m much weaker than you might think, I’m not a though cookie, just an unlucky old guy, who wants peace around him, his coffee and his morning newspaper and a kiss onto his forehead from the woman, whom he loves before he leaves the house to do his stuff. No matter how you imagined me, inside I’m like this. Weak and frail. Previously she always reached her goals with this, cuz I was never brave enough to trust anybody enough – although I loved the others too – but now I trust you with my whole heart. You give me strength and if you leave me, it’s over for me.”

“You don’t have to fear, I’d never do that, sweetheart. I’d rather die than leave you” I smiled and gave a soft kiss onto his lips. I’ve missed the taste of them so much! But then I pulled back and I was just caressing his face.

“What the hell do you love in me this much?” he moaned painfully “Mia, my self-esteem is gone, I’m full of failures, my whole life is a failure! Will I have the strength to stand up and live a normal life with you?”

“I hope so, my love, I hope so. For me you are the truth and life and I have no life without you.”

“Mia, sweetie, oh, Mia, did you want this?”

“Now that you ask, yes, I wanted you. Dave, do you want to see the symbol of our love on my back? The mark of your own hands, your dream?”

“Sure, take your T-shirt off, honey!”

And I took it off carefully then showed him my back so he could look at my healed tattoo. It was still shining a bit from the cream I had to still put on it, but it didn’t disturb him. I brushed my hair to the front and let his long fingers caress along the edges of the drawing. I shivered from his soft touches and sighed faintly. Oh god, I’ve missed him so much! My heart nearly ached. I was waiting for his reaction in silence and with closed eyes.

“Beautiful… it’s so beautiful…” he whispered faintly as he stroked the back of the cat then the curls “It’s so…. So you… Beautiful and clean.”

“I’m not clean, Dave… just in love…” I whispered back “…madly” I stroked his knee as I was sitting in front of him on the bed.

“Yes, kitty, I see it. I see it on your back. Don’t think that I don’t know you did this for me. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be here with you, but you see, things turned out in another way.”

“You’re really freaked out now, aren’t you? You seem horribly tired.”

“Yes, I am. But why would I be looking else? My life just fell apart again. And like always, I’m not the only one who’s suffering from my real or imagined sins. People whom I love do the same. My poor Rosie, you, Mart and my mother too… I had to tell her, so she didn’t have to hear it from someone else and now she’s so worried about her grandchildren and about me. And I’m so sorry that she once gave me birth to suffer on this godforsaken world!”

“David, my love, please don’t say such things!”

“If you’d know! But you can’t have any idea. You can’t know it. If I’d have no children or you… I don’t know…”

“David, you scare me! Please, I love you and I’ll be anyone you want, just please don’t do this!”

“Hey, don’t change for me” he finally smiled faintly “I love you the way you are.”

“That’s good, that’s good. Maybe everything’ll be fine after a while.”

“Maybe, but I feel that no matter where I go, my friend called ‘trouble’ will be always there. He always reaches that place in front of me or after me, but he’s always there. I’m sorry for the things you had to live through and for the things you’ll have to go through with me in the future. But I can’t do anything against them. Can I ask something from you, sweetie?”

“Anything, luv.”

“Take care of Rosie, please, as the situation allows it. Try to be friends with her – it won’t be hard, she’s a friendly girl and if she feels that you pay attention to her, she’ll be very grateful. She’s like me.”

“Sure I’ll take care of her, if she lets me. I feel sorry for her and I’ll try everything to help her so she can get over these things as soon as possible” I turned to Dave, still sitting on the bed and I stroked his face as I looked into the sad eyes.

“I don’t think that she’ll ever get fully over this” he looked back at me with a hurt little boy’s eyes.

“I know. But I’ll try to help her” I squeezed his hand. I felt him still shaking from his nervousness, or he was just too tired now.

“Thank you, Mia. This is very important to me. Rosie is my only daughter. I love her very much and I’d do anything for her just to see her happy again.”

“I’ll try my best too” I smiled at him faintly, although I knew that it won’t be easy to fulfill this ‘wish’ of his. He gave me a grateful and thoughtful look. “What?” I caressed his stubbly face.

“Just… I was just thinking again that despite all these things why do you love me this much …”

“Dave, sweetie, I’ve already told you that I love you no matter what and I’d do anything to you.”

“I know, but…” he suddenly went silent.

“But?”

“It’s just… that I’ve heard this before not just once” he went on nearly whispering as he bent his head down “Jennifer was the same back then” he breathed nearly inaudible.

“I’m not Jen” I pulled my hand back from his face and put my T-shirt on. I said this unwillingly on a harder tone.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t say it because you are, I know you aren’t Jen” he pulled my hand back “I understand that you’re angry at her. I know that you had compunction because you were my lover. Well it was in vain and now you shouldn’t feel like that anymore, okay? You’re the one I’ll live with and you’re with me. Don’t be afraid, she screwed it up too much. We can’t fix these things, I’d never go back to her after this. Please, calm Martin too! I know he’s freaking out too. Are you sure, you’re in this with me?”

“Yes, I’m with you, no matter what’ll happen.”

“Alright! Thank you. Now I accept – I dare to accept – your love. It gives me strength.”

There was a knock on the door – Mart and Rosie came back. Rosie was holding an enormous ice-cream and in the moment she stepped in and saw her daddy, she ran to him and nuzzled to Dave, offering him her ice-cream. He smiled at her gratefully and licked a big one. Rosie licked too and finally both of them laughed. It was heavenly music for my ears and I was just watching them.


	45. Chapter 45

45.

 

After a while I left father and daughter alone, letting them enjoy each others company a bit. I was sure that they had a lot to discuss. I rather took Mart’s hand and led him out of the bedroom. I sighed a big one as I stepped into Blondie’s room. My head was full of doubts and problems as I dropped myself onto the bed and massaged my nose’s bridge. My head was aching again, like when I was ill. I hated and feared the feeling. A picture of pills flashed in front of my eyes again, but like always, I fought the temptation.

“I’m scared, Martin” I whispered.

“I can understand that, Mia. Life could’ve spared him from this. My poor love” he said and sat next to me sadly.

I was thinking about all those things Mart has to stand for David. I was sure that Mart had no other woman in his life now just me and I knew that he loved me, but for David, well, his emotions were a bit different towards him – more fierce. And I knew that I can never completely understand these feelings. I saw the tears in Curly’s eyes when Dave – in his friendly and a bit stuck-up way – asked him whether he wanted us three to live together. I knew that Curly had no other desire – especially now that things got very, very serious between me and Dave emotionally. I knew that Martin knows that Dave loves him very much too, but he loves me better. And now here were the divorce, the kids and our new pilot family-model. The father, the father’s lover as a stepmother, the other lover of the father, who is father’s other lover’s lover, as a stepdad.

“It’s more than strange” I murmured under my nose.

“What?” Martin asked.

I pulled his head onto my lap and whispered into his ear “Our new family. We are the strange family.”

“Yeah. It’s strange on every account” he closed his eyes and let my fingers stroke his blonde tufts. They started massaging his temples and forehead. He was strained too like we all. And tired.

“Martin…”

“Yes?” he asked still with closed eyes.

“Dave said that we don’t have to fear, he won’t go back to Jen anymore.”

He looked at me “Is this sure?”

“Yeah. He said that she’s gone too far this time and he wouldn’t go back to her no matter what.”

“I can understand. She’s been blackmailing him with the kids until now, but the kids didn’t know about it and she hadn’t been this cruel so far. Now she’s gone too far. Children are the most important thing to Dave and he’s right, they didn’t ask to be born, it’s not their fault. Now she stepped over the line. Dave did everything Jen wanted, just for peace and calmness, and you know he loved her. Jen thought that she can do this to Dave – I nearly believed it too – but it seems she was wrong.”

“He’ll be just ours! We won’t have to share him, he’ll be just with us!”

“Yes, and with Rosie. And you’ll live with them…” he mused “You wouldn’t have thought that from that choc-action we’ll be here one day, right?” he finally smiled.

“No, not at all! I don’t know how I’ve managed to hook you two, but it seems I’ve managed it quite well” I smiled too.

“Yeah, quite well. We must confess that you’re not an ordinary girl. Dave goes crazy for you, you know?”

“I know. And after all this I dare to believe it. And Martin, this feeling is the same from my side.”

“Hmm, you love each other very much, you’re a beautiful couple. And somehow it’s me again, who doesn’t really fit in the picture.”

“Oh no, no. Without you things’d have taken another course and I love you. Why do you doubt it?”

“But if you had to choose between us, you’d choose him, right? No, don’t answer this! I’d do the same” he confessed quietly “But you see, I love you too.”

“Why can’t a heart love two people in the same way and in the same time?” I asked with a sigh then I lay down next to him and buried myself into his embrace.

“I don’t know. Maybe there aren’t a lot of guys like David. One in a million – he’s very special and rare and this is why he’s valuable. He should understand this.”

“But he sticks to that conception that his life is a mistake of the universe…” I noted with another sigh, while I was stroking Martin’s chest lazily.

“Yeah, sadly. But if you’d know how many times I’ve been telling the opposite to him during the years…”

“I can imagine. It doesn’t matter that I tell him this all the time. He’s a stubborn, a lost homeless dog, who craves for love and he’s like a hopeless little boy – and I love him more than anything.”

“He deserves it. Without love he dies – give it to him. Let your love give him strength and then… and then…”

“No, not just then… your love gives him strength too. I know the best how important you are for him. Do you remember the morning after our first night? When you two were kneeling on the floor and he nuzzled to you? Do you remember those eyes? Who was the one he was looking at with those eyes?”

“Yes, but he loves you better than…”

“It doesn’t matter whom he loves better or not. The main point is that he loves us both and we love him and the more we show this to him, the more he’ll be happy” I caressed his face “Martin, he loves me in a different way, because I’m a woman. As a female he fondles me more easily. There’s another situation with you, but if he has the opportunity then… And do you remember your fight in the bathroom?”

“Uhh, Jesus, how could I forget that? I managed to surrender David, although he’s tough, stringy and fucking strong.”

“Ha-ha, you’re so calm. It’s strange to imagine it…”

“Calm? Me? Mia! I’m not that.”

“But you aren’t as fierce as Dave.”

“True, but this has nothing to do with calmness, it’s about holding myself back.”

“So you’re holding yourself back?” I caressed his cheek as I was lying on my side and I looked up into his well-known eyes.

“Sure. Constantly. I try to control my emotions to the maximum.”

“And you’re not successful with it.”

“No, I’m not.”

“No wonder. The wonder’d be if you were able to deny your emotions. I know that it’s different for you, because the love of two men isn’t conventionally accepted – especially when they have children too. But you love each other. Punctum.”

“Yeah, there’s no doubt about that. This is why I try to avoid as much pain as possible, so I can survive this Vesuvius of ours” he smiled.

I laughed shortly then ran my thumb on his lower lip. “Well yes. BTW I’m curious what’ll happen now and how things’ll be. The situation is getting more complicated. And now Rosie is here too…”

“Does she disturb you?” he asked carefully.

“No, I have no problems with her. I’m glad that she’s on her father’s side and not on that… that… It’d be better not to say anything of her at all, cuz I jus work myself up!” I frowned angrily “If I ever get the chance and face her…”

“… then you wouldn’t be able to do much against her either.”

“Sure I could!” I protested “How was she able to do this?! You’ve heard what Dave told about Jimmy, haven’t you? How can she be this cruel? She thinks just on herself? She never gives a thought of her own son’s feelings?” I was getting angrier and from nervousness I’ve started trembling and my headache returned too with the familiar ominous press in my chest.

And then it hurt even more and I looked at Mart, who was lying on the bed, curled up, staring into space. But I was sure that inside his head his thoughts were swirling like a restless river, cuz it was in my head too. We were waiting for David. We were always waiting for him and we had to wait more and more.

After a few minutes a knock on the door dragged us back into reality. I was sitting on the bed and Martin was resting his head on my lap again. I think usually this soothes him if he does so. He was still staring at the ceiling, deep in his thoughts, while he invited the guest in. It was Andy.

“Hello there. Sorry for disturbing you, but I brought the new dates of the concerts” he waved a paper in his hand then he pushed up his glasses on his nose as he walked closer. He turned his head towards Martin.

“It was time. Now that Dave’s back, we have to move on” Mart sighed tiredly and slowly he sat up too to take the papers.

“Thanks Andy” I smiled at him faintly.

“No problem at all. Would you give a copy to Dave too? I don’t want to disturb him and Rosie.”

“Sure” I took an extra copy.

“Andy, please stay here a bit” Martin called him back “I want you to know – as our friend and the member of the band – that… now it’s very hard for Dave and Mia” he said and turned his eyes to the ground “If you’d be so kind and arrange that except the concerts no one’d disturb them with anything, that’d be awesome of you. If we had to shoot one of his days now, it’d look like Kramer vs. Kramer with Dustin Hoffman, but you now: this time for real – Gahan vs. Gahan.”

“I see” the red-haired man nodded then looked at me with serious eyes “I’ll try my best. I see that Dave looks like crap. I’ve heard what’d happened. I’ll talk to him later too.”

“Thank you, Andy” I gave him a weak smile.

“No problem” he said and left the room quietly.

And I felt that Martin closed himself up next to me as he was studying the paper. The next show was tomorrow night. My eyes were resting on Curly. I didn’t touch him. I knew him enough that I knew when he wanted physical contact and when he doesn’t.

“I need some fresh air” he stood up finally after a few minutes and reached for his jeans jacket.

“Okay. Take care” I looked up at him, sitting on the bed. The white paper was still in my shaking hands, which were resting on my lap. Martin bent down to me and after a long kiss onto my forehead he left me alone there with my aching soul and body.

\---

Finally I was alone and I could do whatever I wanted to do. After a long musing at the window I’ve turned around, poured some whiskey into a glass, shook 3 painkillers into my palm and swallowed them. I took my jacket and purse and I stormed out of the hotel. I flagged a cab and I went to the tattoo shop where I asked for Mark immediately. He approached me with a smile.

“Can I help you, Mia?”

He found me in a funny mood. “Can you remove the tattoo from my back? I don’t love Dave anymore.”

You should have seen the muscles tic on his face as he tried to say something. I laughed, the pills worked quickly.

“I want a piercing, Mark, if it’s possible.”

“Phewww….”

“Did I scare you, or what?” I giggled.

“Well… it’d have been quite a work… But… are you OK, Mia?” Mark asked a bit frowning.

“Sure! Never better!” I sat down into a chair.

“Alright…” he looked at me doubtingly, but the businessman took mastery over him “Where do you want that piercing?”

“Into my tongue!” I showed him it, grinning.

“Alright, no problem. I prepare myself, sit down, OK? How’s Dave?”

“Well, not quite well – he has lots of problems nowadays. Problems got piled up, you know.”

“I see. Now say ‘Aaa’ to me, let me grab your tongue with a tongue-clamp! That’s it, great. Well baby, the whole thing’ll last for a sec and it won’t hurt that much – one, two, done…”

“Ah, thi’ wa’ it?”

“Yep. When you get used to it, you won’t speak this funny’ Mark laughed out loud, holding his stomach. I knew he took his little ‘revenge’.

“Dhat’s cool, I feel odd aik thi’”

“Do you want another one?”

“No, thanks. I’ve one, ‘ich is still healing” I winked at him happily.

“Look at you! Intimate piercing?”

“Yessss” I hissed, laughing at myself, but I felt that slowly I was getting used to the strange feeling in my tongue. And I was already dizzy a bit from the pills.

“And how’s that you didn’t let me do it?” he put his disinfected stuff away.

“It… it was a surprise out of the blue” I shrugged. Finally I was able to speak normally “Don’t you want to take a look at it?” I chuckled on a dirty tone. I surprised myself and didn’t understand why I was flirting here with Mark.

“I don’t think Dave’d be happy about it” he shook his head smiling.

I thanked Mark for his help and now I was very happy as I walked out of the shop. And another idea came into my mind: why couldn’t I have my hair cut? Women always do such things when there’s a big change in their lives. And now I had no solid point in my life, not one. Deep in my heart I felt that Dave was as sure in my life as standing-stars – I trusted him more than myself, but the situation now was very problematic, anything could happen.

So I went into a hairdresser’s shop happily. After I’ve explained my wish to the young girl, she’d started working on me. Colouring, washing, cutting, drying… At the end my long hair was distant past. My tufts were embracing my face in a youthful, rumpled way. They reached down to my chin – the tufts in the front were a bit longer, while I let the ones in the back shorter. And my hair’s colour was a bit darker than usual. I hoped Dave and Mart’ll like it.

\---

I headed back to the hotel. I went to my room, took a shower and I was still dripping when the two guys came into the room. They stopped there and were just staring at me as I passed them wrapped into a single towel and put out my tongue.

“MIA!!!” Dave exclaimed shocked, but there was a questioning tone in his yell too “Are you really Mia?”

“Why? Who else’d have such a tattoo on her back?” I dropped the towel negligently next to the bed, showing them my back and reaching for my clothes.

“What did you do to yourself?” Curly found his voice too.

“New style. Do you like it, boys?”

“I think so” Martin moaned.

“Jesus Christ!” Dave said.

“Don’t tell me it’s that bad!” I pulled one brow up.

“No, it’s not like that, you just surprised us with it, kitty.”

“That was my aim!” I laughed still freely and quickly got dressed. The boys were still staring at me with open mouths.

“And… was that a piercing in your tongue?” Dave faltered out.

“Uh-uh” I pulled my sweater over my head too “Now I go.”

“Where?” Martin asked frowning.

“I take a walk. Need some fresh air and I prepare myself for the concert” and with two quick pecks on their mouths I stormed out.

As I shut the door behind me, I was still laughing on their faces. Nice Easter Eggs! I was walking in the park and suddenly I felt that I should run, run until distress. I wanted to move out, to sweat out every problem from me. So in my jeans, ballet shoes, and cardigan, my little pink purse under my armpit I’ve started jogging. What a crazy day it is! And what can come after this, I grinned.

And I was just running and running with a big grin on my face. I’m sure people thought I went nuts, cuz such a dash came upon me that I barely could deal with it! I was running for long-long minutes, until I was totally out of breath and I’ve started gasping for air with hissing lungs. I felt myself like Maugli during the big spring run. My pulse was thudding in my ears, the blood was running in my body like a wild current and my body was covered in sweat – it was dripping from my forehead onto the pavement rhythmically. I was panting like when I was with my guys after the third round. And finally I was happy. I ran back to the hotel and started the hot bathwater. I was crooning happily. Finally none of my bodyparts hurt. I was in a nice state of mind and I slowly took off my clothes again before stepping into the fragrant and warm water. The bubbles nearly covered me completely when there was a knock at the door.

\---

“Mia, honey, can I come in?” I heard Dave’s voice.

“Sure, my love, I was waiting for you. Come here please, come my panther, was my back, please!”

“You’re so strange today, Mia.”

“What do you mean?” I smiled up at him from between the fragrant bubbles and reached one of my wet hands and he took it.

“Did something happen? You’re so… hyperactive. And your hair and your piercing… Why did you do it?”

“Come into the tube, Dave, relax with me! Can you? Where’s Rosie?”

“With her new nanny. She’ll be a private student for a while, until things calm down. She misses her friends, her brother and her mother. She cried a lot. And I did the same.”

“My love, come to me, nuzzle to me, maybe it’ll help a bit.”

Dave nodded and started undressing. After he got into the tube too, he searched for me between the foam and took me into his arms. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question?” I washed his chest lazily.

“Why did you do this to yourself? The piercing and the new hair style. Why?”

“Cuz I thought some changes’d be nice. I had to do something – too much things are happening to me now and I can’t deal with the stress, it’s straining my body and soul.”

“My love, sweetie, you took something. Right? Please, tell me! I won’t make a row, but I have to know. I love you, I have to know!”

I turned my head away. I didn’t look at him just shrugged. “Yes, I took some pills, why would I deny it?”

“I see, sweetie. I’m sure you had your reason to do so” David said on a sad tone and closed his tired eyes. He didn’t want Mia to see his hopeless eyes, his pain, frustration and bitterness. He stood up, stepped out of the tube and walked out of the bathroom. He didn’t want to fight, he didn’t want to accuse, he didn’t want anything. He didn’t want the pain either, which was eating him alive from the inside. He just wanted to stop existing.

“Hurray…” I noted watching him leave. I managed to hurt him again “Very clever, Mia…” I sighed as I was sitting in the big tube and I felt myself like a piece of shit again. Like usually. And of course selfish, because I was just causing more problems to Dave. My former contentment and my fake happiness was nowhere. Nowhere.

Of course I went after him and hugged him from behind, but my arms fell back next to my body when he quietly said: “Leave me alone now, Mia. I go now and please don’t follow me. Don’t be afraid, nothing’ll happen, but this was just too much for me now. I see you slipping away from my hands and we are stomping on our love with our muddy feet. I die from this, Mia. I die. Just You and Rosie are the ones keeping me alive, don’t do such things, please don’t, please don’t, please don’t” he shook me then hugged me firmly with a fierce kiss then he left.

I wasn’t crying, I was just staring in front of me, standing in the middle of the room. My heart was aching and I shuddered again and again, but meanwhile I was empty. Dave’s words were whirling inside of me as this strange mood came over me. In the way I was – wet and naked – I sat down to the table near the window and crossed my legs. I took a cigarette between my trembling fingers and lit it. I was staring at the sky full of clouds. There was no sound in the room, just the burning cinder’s and the dripping water’s sound from the bathroom.


	46. Chapter 46

46.

 

I was sitting there for long hours, but I’ve decided that I’d wait for David like this. I put just a sheet around my body. It was hard not to go after him and beg for his forgiveness, but I was waiting patiently. When he got back I stood up and simply said: “I’m sorry.”

He nodded and looked at me – he was eyeing me. I knew how bad he took when I’ve got addicted to the meds and he helped me to get rid off them. I knew how much he cared – I was stupid. I loved him and I was stupid. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to live on, if something happened to him. I looked at him and saw in his eyes that he forgave me, but I saw that he was hurt deeply as well. I could have rage from compunction – I was in love with him to the extreme. All these swirling emotions froze me to that very spot and I was just standing there without a word, musing.

He didn’t move at all, he was just looking down at me with those grey-green eyes, looking straight into mines, which started glistening from my tears. Since he’d left, I wasn’t near to crying at all, but now his gaze burned me to the bones. I nearly felt myself getting smaller and smaller from it as I was sinking until I was nothing compared to him. I grabbed the sheet around my body desperately and I was fighting my tears – always swallowing them back in the last moment as I bit down on my trembling and dry lip. But then he showed mercy and took me into his arms tightly, still not saying a word. We were holding each other like two drowning lovers.

“I want you. Come” he said taking my hand and he pulled me to the bed “I want you now and forever. You’re mine and I’m yours, Mia. Let me in where I belong” he said as he was kneeling in front of me and he freed my body from the sheet “I’ll be at home in a minute, baby” he moaned and penetrated me deeply.

“Ahh… David…” I sighed faintly and my whole body was shaking from his soft moves and from the familiar feeling, which was beautiful and consuming at the same time. My fingers barely touched his skin as I was stroking his shoulders, his nape, his back… his wings and I was thinking about my wings and why I had them and my tears started flowing silently as I sighed his name. He was so gentle! A beautiful and sad moment in the silence of a hotel room, in the fading light, between long shadows.

I melted into his arms and we loved each other calmly like people, who belong together. This was the first time when I thought about how it would feel like him being my husband. He was puffing calmly and as his pulse jumped, his breaths got heavier until he collapsed onto me and he kissed into my neck. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. There was conformity between us and I loved him.

I was just laying there under him on the creased sheets and listened to his breaths. I propped my temple to his and was gently caressing his shoulder with one hand, the other hugged him close to me. He was still inside of me, we were still one. I opened up my eyes when the last red lights of the sun gleamed on his shiny skin. I inhaled his scent and was listening to his heart beats. This moment moved me beyond words. I loved him more than I can say.

“It’s so good to be with you” he murmured into my ear on a funny voice, which made me laugh. I always loved when he was clowning and I was glad that he still had the mood for that. Although I knew that it is said that the one who laughs is the one who cries inside. I hoped that I was wrong, I hoped that for this hour he forgot about everything, which hurt him and just enjoyed our lovemaking like every other men and women does.

“It’s good to be with you too, you know” I caressed his chin with my fingers playfully then suddenly I rolled him over and started tickling him. I knew those spots on his body, which caused him unstoppable laughing.

“No, no! Please stop it!!!!” he cried out laughing and this laughter was a cure for my heart.

Finally I’ve stopped the tickling, but he was still holding my wrists, just in case. But I just laid down on him and bent over him with a little smile. It was strange that now there was no need to put my hair aside.

“I love you” I said.

“I love you too” he caressed my face and I saw that it felt good to him to hear it again “And that piercing in your tongue…”

“Yes?” my smile got wider as I moved the little metal in my tongue.

“It’s exciting…”

“Do you want me to excite you with it, my love?”

“I want it.”

“Well, this was a quite quick answer.”

“I’ve missed you. Without you is like being dead. I’m alive when I’m with you, for you and because of you.”

“David, oh, you! Do you want to see me crying?”

“Me? No, not at all. I’m just afraid of losing you. I want you to know what you mean to me.”

“Yes sweetie, I understand” I kissed him and he closed his eyes and enjoyed my closeness.

Because he said that he enjoys and finds my tongue-piercing exciting, I’ve decided to do my best to turn him on. Because I was already lying on top of him, there was no need for much moving. I propped myself on the elbows next to his head and kissed him. I let him embrace me firmly with his strong arms. As I deepened the kiss, he moaned into my mouth a few times. I did my best to use the opportunities the piercing offered me as I was chasing his tongue more and more passionately. I felt his hands on my back, side and butt. I shivered. I loved when he touched me! I pulled myself together, before I could have gotten too light-headed, and pulled back from his mouth. I licked it playfully with a little smile. Then came his chin and neck, which I showered with small kisses and bites. I had to moan as I felt his hands cupping my breasts as I was kneeling over him. His beautiful hands started squeezing them gently. For a moment I had to stop, lick my mouth, moan and enjoy the moment to the full. I saw him smiling with closed eyes then I returned and licked along his collarbone, slowly going down to his left nipple, which I took into my mouth soon and started exciting it with the little metal – licking and biting it.

Love was still an unbelievable thing with him. These feelings – the physical and the spiritual ones too. I was just watching and watching while I was pampering my love and every kind of thoughts were swirling in my head. I loved him very much and I couldn’t stop myself – King David from the Bible came into my mind when I looked down at him. David was beautiful as he let himself go with closed eyes, letting his senses and emotions lead him. I’ve never seen such a beauty. Back from the university a poem from “Psalm of David” came into my mind and after taking his rock-hard cock out of my mouth I kneeled over him and took him inside of my body. I’ve started whispering the love-filled words on my mother-tongue. He listened to them then looked up with a smile and closed his eyes again, so I went on:

"A te fejed, mint a választott, megtisztított arany:   
Fodor hajad fekete mint a hollónak.   
A te szemeid mint a vízfolyás mellett élő gerléknek szemei,   
Melyeket édes tejben mostak meg. 

A te arcod hasonlatos a drága füveknek táblájához,   
A felnövekedett szép palántákhoz,   
A te ajkaid a liliomhoz hasonlóak,   
melyekről drága olaj folyik. 

A te kezeiden vannak arany gyűrűk,   
Melyekbe foglaltattak türkiz színű drágakövek,   
A te hasad hasonlatos,   
A zafírral megrakott elefánt fehérségéhez. 

A te tekinteted,   
Mint Libanon hegyének magassága,   
Tökéletes vagy,   
Mint a nemes cédrusnak fája. 

A te ínyed édes,   
Mindenestül kívánatos vagy.   
Ez az én szerelmesem,   
Ez az én barátom."

(NOTE: Please if someone has the English version, share it with me!)

After the last lines I just sighed deeply and moaned as I made circles with my hips on him with closed eyes. He was holding me with his hands there then after both of our bodies relaxed, I lay down onto his chest. My lips gave small kisses onto his naked and hot chest while I pressed my flushed face onto it too. I was enjoying listening to his breaths from this close and I enjoyed his caresses on my back too. I wasn’t sure when did I slipped into the world of my dreams. It seemed that they were with me even when I was awake… the most simple evidence was the presence of Dave.

\---

When Mia fell asleep in his arms Dave kissed and caressed her tenderly before getting up and taking a quick shower. He got dressed and closed the door behind him quietly. Rosie was on her piano lesson for the next two hours. Thank God Dave managed to find a professional nanny. She was like Mary Poppins – maybe she really was, cuz when they needed her, she appeared from thin air, the agency didn’t know a thing about her. And Dave had no doubts that when the time’ll come, she’ll pull out her umbrella from her bag and will float away with the western winds. David smiled to himself. This tale was a nice memory to him, his mother’d told him this several times. He was that kind of boy, whom could be tamed just with love, like the boy in the story. He looked at his watch, opened a marker and wrote “Rosie, 19:45” onto his hand. After this he knocked on the third door.

A sleepy and crabby Martin opened the door. But the smile appeared on his face like the polar lights on the sky when he spotted David.

“Hi, Dave… What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Rosie?” he asked and opened the door wider and invited his guest in.

“She has a piano lesson for the next two hours” he smiled “I wanted to see you. Is it a problem?”

“No, not at all. Come in. Do you want something?”

“Yes I do.”

“And what?”

Dave stepped to him from behind as he was looking into the fridge and he nuzzled to his lover with his whole body. The bottle of Gin slid out of Mart’s hand and smashed on the floor. Dave didn’t say a thing – this was his answer for the question – and Martin COULDN’T say anything. He was just standing there with trembling body and was whispering Dave’s name again and again, like someone mesmerised.

He felt the chilly air on his chest and Dave’s hot body behind him. He was exposed to cross-fire. His pulse jumped immediately as he was holding onto the fridge’s door with closed eyes, enjoying as Dave’s hand slid upwards on his thigh, while the other slid under the T-shirt by his tummy. Then he felt his hot breath puffing against his ear and he shivered.

“Come, Marty… Love me!” he whispered hoarsely.

Passion shook the blonde man’s body. “Dave… oh David, if you’d know…”

“I know… I hadn’t got enough time in the past weeks for you… please, don’t be mad at me…” he breathed into his neck “But now I’m here with you. I’m just yours. Do with me whatever you want….”

Mart gasped for air “And… and Mia?”

“She’s asleep. She knocked herself out.”

“Knocked herself out?”

“Well, the last days’ events were too much for her and she took some sleeping pills and had a few drinks too.”

“Jesus Christ!”

“Relax baby, we can deal with this later, she isn’t in direct danger at the moment, she just has to sleep. Come now, I want you Martin” he pulled the blonde man to him and kissed him fiercely. Mart was still shaking like a teenage girl. But the feral sexuality radiating from Dave awoke his senses soon and he reacted to him fervently. He was kissing Dave wherever he had the chance. He pushed him backwards, walking with him to the bed. He pushed him down and started undressing David quickly, who let him do so with a smile on his face. But Martin managed to unzip just the singer’s jeans. He opened it and took Dave’s awakening cock between his greedy lips.

Dave groaned loudly from the feeling and from the fact that after a long while he could be in Martin’s mouth again. For a moment he dug into the blonde tufts, but then he sat up and took off his dark-grey T-shirt. Then his fingers found their ways back to Mart’s hair.

“Ah! Yes, that’s it, sweetie… Oh god!” he moaned and bent his head back “Martin, I’ve missed you so much” David sighed and he tried to undress his companion too, but Mart didn’t let his hardness go. He loved Dave quickly, with a wild pace, who – after a few minutes – was wallowing on the bed and begged for mercy.

“Mart, Mart, don’t do it, I’ll come in a moment… the fun’ll be over, baby. Wait, wait, we have nearly two hours!”

Martin lifted his cloudy eyes up at him and he managed to moan still just one word: “Dave!”

Dave didn’t know where to look, Martin’s gaze embarrassed him. He knew how much Mart loved him, he knew it well, but this insane hunger, this desire, the burning emotions in his eyes… He pulled him up next to him by his arm and he nuzzled into Mart’s arms, softly biting Curly’s neck and he was whispering love-filled words into his ear - he was fondling Martin. He rarely did so, but now he tried to love Mart as he usually loved Mia. His first cast had its effects: Mart simply started to cry.

“Hey, hey… Martin… sweetie, don’t cry!” he asked, taking his teary face into his hand “I’m here with you” he tried to calm him, wiping away the flowing tears.

“But for how long?” Mart whispered back hoarsely “For two hours? What’s that for me, Dave? You’ll have your fun then you’ll go back to Mia, or somewhere else, God knows where, and I’m sitting here alone in my fucking room with my dark thoughts and I write dozens of songs for you and all of them end up in the trash, cuz none of them are good enough for you! I can’t grab the essence of my feelings inside here! Feel it?” he grabbed Dave’s hand and put it onto his chest “Do you feel its frantic beating? It’s because of you, Dave, you know it! Just one look or touch and I’m on the edge of collapse, cuz I know that I’ll be always just the second one” he looked into his eyes “You have no idea what I’m feeling, right?”

“Mart I…” Dave tried, but Mart let Dave just slide his free hand onto his lover’s neck.

“No, Dave… you know well how I live my emotions. You know their depths, don’t you? We had a few conversations about this, remember?”

Dave just nodded. His green eyes seemed to whirl from Martin’s words and look, from the insane rhythm under his fingers and from the trembling of Blondie’s body.

“You know it well, and here I am, alone again. I know that you two love me. I know about the things that had happened lately, but I don’t care. I want to be selfish for a little while! At least now!” he exclaimed faintly at the end then he closed his eyes and threw himself into Dave’s arms, burying his head into his shoulder.

“Then be selfish, Mart, take what you want. Don’t you dare to think that I don’t love you anymore, but you have to understand that I love a woman in a different way than a man!”

“But why?”

“Cuz you’re not a woman, you jerk” he bit Mart’s lip.

“Oh, that’s something else then. Now I get it” Martin joked “I’m not a woman. David, please forgive this whining. I love you so” he sniffed again.

David found him very sweet and it moved him. Somehow it was like back in their teenage days: he felt a fellowship, an unbreakable friendship, no matter that he was his lover or not. He loved Martin.

“Come, Martin. I’m yours. I love you” he whispered hoarsely.

Martin looked up at him with his red and teary eyes and their mouths met for a greedy kiss. He pushed David down hungrily and climbed over him to shower the body under him with his kisses and bites. After getting rid off Dave’s trousers, one of his hands closed around his lover’s shaft and started pumping it.

“I need you so!” he moaned between two kisses. He wanted to say these words for a while now.

Dave just moaned then his moan turned into a yell when he felt Mart’s fingers slide behind his balls. He threw his head backwards and his slim body tensed when he touched the silver piercing.

“Martin, oh god Mart, take it between your teeth and pull it! Ah, Mar-tiiin, more, gimme more!”

And he got what he wanted. Blondie did his best to make this lovemaking unforgettable – like the one in the bathroom. As David was lying on his back he searched for the button on Mart’s trousers and he undid it. Meanwhile he stroked along Mart’s hardness as if it was accidental. Mart sighed and slowly turned David around.

“Dave, I can’t take it anymore” he moaned.

“You do what pleases you.”

“David, hmmm, Dave” Mart panted and kneeled between Dave’s slightly opened legs as he was lying on his tummy.

Mart’s whole body was shaking for Dave’s as he slid his hand up and down on his own cock a few times then he moistened both of them. Dave moaned from this and when he felt Mart’s hardness playing with his piercing, he grabbed his pillow’s edges firmly, groaning.

“Come into me!!!” he whimpered in his torment, pushing his ass closer to Blondie.

Martin stroked along Dave’s naked back with cloudy eyes and positioned his cock to the right place and started sliding inside, which caused an enormous groan from him.

“Mart, you damned stallion!” he moaned “You tear me apart, you! Do you hear me?”

“Relax sweetie, it’s okay, you’ll get used to me soon. Do you feel it straining in you? Cuz… I… feel your… body fitting tightly around me… Dave, you god… I, uhh, Dave I…”

Suddenly David reached back and grabbed Mart’s piercing, pulling it again and again and this was the last drop for Mart, he buried his head between Dave’s shoulder-blades. He groaned and panted loudly from the feeling, embracing Dave tightly and finally he pulled himself together and started the moves of his hips again to the rhythm of Dave’s hand. Then he accelerated his speed and started hurtling Dave’s body.

Dave’s whole body trembled from the joy he felt as the waves of satisfaction washed over him. He couldn’t compare anything to this feeling – just Martin could give this to him, no one else in this world. He was riding the waves of pleasure as he was lying there, waiting for Mart to arrive too. The blonde man made some more hard pushes – knowing that Dave was far away now – then his whole body strained and he spread his wings too. He collapsed onto Dave’s back, panting, swimming in sweat as he slowly slid out of the other man.

“Sweetie, this was very good” he panted onto the wet tattooed back.

“I know, luv, it was good to me too” Dave puffed and rolled Mart over, taking him into his arms.

Martin was floating on his pink cloud. And he needed nothing less that Dave Gahan for this.  
Mart felt his thoughts freely swirling inside his head, heart and soul as he inhaled the familiar scent of Dave’s body. He missed him so much and now he dared to risk letting his love towards him go. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the singer’s smooth chest. Dave was caressing Mart’s head, running his long fingers on Curly’s eyebrows, nose and lips again and again. Martin was beyond happy and he nuzzled even closer to him – as close as it was possible. Dave let him do so with a smile.

“Tell me Martin, how do you imagine our common life?”

“Well… you know, I was daydreaming about it several times” he smiled nearly shyly “I never dared to think that someday we’ll be here… and…”

“And?”

“And I won’t be… alone” he closed his eyes.

“No, you won’t be alone. You’ll live with us and we’ll give each other as much love and tenderness as much you can bear.”

“Then I think you won’t rest too much” he laughed “By the way…” he went on when Dave laughed “… did you manage to call the neighbouring estate’s owner?”

“Yes Martin, the estate is yours, but I wanted this to be a surprise – a nice Christmas present for YOU. But before you’d protest, no need to worry, it was foolishly cheap, cuz by the time I bought it there were still some debates over its ownership. Since then my lawyer spoke to the heirs and they agreed among them so the estate is legally yours. Its prise is under transfer and just the contract is left. But I have to tell you that you’ll have a lot to do with the house, cuz it’s quite ruined.”

“I don’t care at all. We’ll renew it. The main point is that finally I’ll be able to be near to you two” he caressed Dave’s face and gave him an emotional-filled kiss.

“Yes, Marty. You can come to us as often as you like” he broke the kiss and smiled at him.

“It’s more than I dared to wish. Thank you Dave. You make me very happy” he looked at him moved.

“It’s nothing, cuz I love you, you know” he stroked his shoulder.

“And so do I” Mart smiled at him then his faint smile turned into nearly a shy one as he blushed.

“What’s it, hon? What’s on your mind?”

“Do you… do you know how you’d be able to make me even happier?”

“How?” Dave smiled at him.


	47. Chapter 47

47.

 

Martin leant closer to his ear shyly and whispered his wish into it. Dave grinned and his hand slid onto Mart’s groin as he rolled Blondie onto his back.

“Sure I’ll do it, sweetie. Just ask for it and I’m already down” he winked and slid lower. Dave was kissing him further down and Mart watched as he licked around his shaft before grabbing it hard. He was playing with him – giving small bites and kisses onto Martin’s cock – then he suddenly took in nearly his whole length. Martin cried out and he dig into his dark hair.

“Jesus… that’s it!” he moaned and closed his eyes, but looked up right away to watch what Dave was doing. He felt that he grows even bigger and harder between his wet lips. The sight drove him crazy as his throbbing member disappeared again and again in the wonderful mouth. His whole body was shivering and sweating, especially when Dave’s free hand grabbed his balls. He growled “Ahhhh… the… the piercing! Please!”

Dave nodded and let Mart go. He licked along his lover’s testicles and grabbed the ring with his teeth. Martin was loosing ground, sinking in the sea of sin. He saw just Dave – his flashing eyes and nothing else. His body was squirming uncontrollable and he was moaning hoarsely louder and louder. Dave’s hand was moving on his rock-hard erection with a frantic rhythm, while his teeth were pulling the piercing softly. Martin went totally mad. He was tossing like someone in great pain and he was grabbing the sheet with his right hand, his left closed around Dave’s hand – picking up the its rhythm, which was moving firmly on Mart’s cock. He started moaning raggedly and his body strained more and more. His testicles hardened and lifted up slightly. He knew that he’d come in two sec. He nearly exploded and covered Dave’s neck, chest and nearly the whole bed with his cum.

Dave laughed “Mart, are you playing a fountain? Look at what you’ve done!” he showed around.

“Who… the fuck… cares? Oh God, oh God, I’ll die from this. It’s insane what you do to me, I die right now.”

“Well it’s good to hear that I can still entertain you.”

“You? You always. I don’t want anything else just being near to you, you god!” he smiled at his lover.

“You’re flattering me!” he stroked along his own neck and licked his fingers. Martin moaned from the sight.

“And you’ll kill me with doing such things!” he said and sat up halfway, grabbing Dave’s nape. He pulled him closer for a wet kiss. After parting Dave looked down at him with a smile and checked the time.

“It’s time for me to pick up Rosie, but before that I think I could use a shower. I’ll stick everywhere…” he sighed theatrically.

“Yeah. And you should wash your hair too” Mart pointed at Dave’s head.

“Wow, you covered me quite well” and he gracefully walked into the bathroom.

Martin feasted his eyes on him and called after him: “David, you’re beautiful, you know!”

Dave looked over his shoulder and winked playfully “If you say so, sweetie!” and he stepped under the shower.

After Dave’d left, Mart was laying on his bed for a while with his stirred-up emotions and overwhelming love for his precious panther. His feelings nearly hurt. He looked at the bed. Now it didn’t matter anymore. He put his head back onto the pillow and closed his fingers around him – like in the last few days because of Dave’s and Mia’s absence. He imagined Dave pampering him. He was still on fire for him so he started working on him.

\---

I think it was around dawn when I woke up. Dave was next to me, sleeping on his tummy. I sat up and grabbed my head – it ached like hell. My mouth was dry so I wanted to search form something to drink, but for a few minutes I was just sitting on the edge of the bed, naked. I stood up slowly, cuz the world was still spinning with me. I thought I’d puke, but I managed not to. After I washed my face and peed, I took a shower and felt already better. I dressed up and because Dave was still sleeping, I sat down wit my laptop in the other room of the suite. It was 5.20 am and tonight we had another concert. I shivered. I don’t know how Kessler and Fletch managed to put things right and avoid scandals. They rearranged some dates and now we had 3 concerts in a row, two days off, a concert in New Jersey and the last in NYC and then it’ll be over. Maybe everything’ll be fine finally.

Dave gave his room to Rosie and her nanny, Wanda, so he slept here now. I looked at him – he was sleeping peacefully and as always, he was the most attractive man in the world. I got up and poured some orange juice then I sat down in front of the computer. I few days have passed without internet-connection for me so I had enough to do. Lots of e-mails, giving replies to them to my friends – a few of them followed the things which were happening to me lately. Thanks to this sometimes I felt that I’m not alone in the world and it felt good. Really good.

Time was flying by quite quickly. I’ve ordered two huge portion of breakfast so later my hungry panther’ll be able to eat too. I was watching him deep in my thoughts as he was sleeping soundly, lying spread-eagled, and I felt the love towards him filling me. I smiled from this. I wasn’t surprised that he was sleeping this soundly. He’ll have a tiring day today again. Concert tonight and in the next two days too. I sighed. Soon it’ll be over. It’ll be high time.

The sun was up and sent its radiating beams onto the Earth. In the bedroom one beam licked David’s face. From its warmth he opened his eyes and sat up – his eyes searching the room after me. When he spotted me in the other room, he walked to me with his fuzzy head and embraced me from the back. Hmm, this is why a lot of marriage can’t work – people can rarely give from themselves gladly. I’m a selfish bastard too, but for the people I love, I’d do anything.

“Good morning, sweetie” I greeted him.

“Morning” he breathed into my ears, his hands in my neck “What’re ya doing?”

“Just surfing on the net. But I bet you’re hungry. I’ve ordered food” I looked over the table.

“Yep, I’m hungry. I go and eat – who knows when I’ll have time for it again? This’ll be a very busy day. Kitty, we have to go to practice today, we’ve got out of our routine. Let’s eat, Kessy’ve arranged an appointment with a singing teacher at 8.30 am.”

“Alright, eat then. I’ve already had some earlier.” One crescent roll with butter, I thought sardonically.

He just nodded and started his breakfast. At the time he finished, I just turned off the laptop and went to the bedroom to dress up. I was just struggling with my jeans when I felt him kindly kissing my tattoo. I smiled and after a quick kiss I let him go. After a few minutes we were ready and stepped out of the room hand in hand.

“Is it okay, if I nip in and check on Rosie?”

“Sure. She needs you more than ever” I said “If learning allows it, bring her with us to the sound check. She should be with her father.”

“I think I’ll do this. My little angel…” he smiled and knocked at the door “Mai, come with me, okay? She has to get used to you, we’ll spend a lot of time together.”

“I know” I smiled back and we stepped in together to the suite, which was swimming in sunlight. I was a bit nervous. I wanted Stella Rose to accept me, even if not right away, but with time. I knew how important it was for Dave and how much she loves her father, who… I couldn’t stop myself… who maybe wasn’t even her father… But I wiped away this thought quickly and watched as Dave greeted the little girl, who was having breakfast with her nanny.

Despite her tiredness from yesterday Rosie jumped up right away and ran to his father, ending up in his neck. David picked her up with a radiating smile and hugged her. How deeply and intensely this man can love, I thought and I was happy that he’d chosen me for his woman. I watched them, leaning against the doorframe with a smile.

“Daddy, daddy! Yesterday we’ve started learning ‘Mary’s little lamb’ on the piano! I was so happy!” the little girl said and put her hands onto Dave’s shoulder.

“Wow! So when you’ll be able to play it, I’ll sing the song for you, alright?”

“Cool!” she smiled at her dad with a huge smile, who totally melted from this.

“But now I want to ask something. If you’re ready with learning – but just then – would you want to join us on the soundcheck?”

“Sure, daddy, I like watching when you work.”

“Angel, we have things to do now too, the voice trainer’ll come to daddy, but after it we four – you, me, Mia and Martin – will go to have lunch. What do you say? And the soundcheck’ll come after it. But just when you learn now with Wanda, okay?”

“Yes, daddy, yes, yes. Jeez, daddy, it’ll be fun! Can Marty buy me ice-cream? Yes? That big one?”

“Yep, angel, of course, whatever you want” Dave laughed from her excitement “Mia, let me introduce you to Wanda. Wanda, my girlfriend, Mia.”

“Nice to meet you” she held out her hand.

“Nice to meet you” I said to the nice woman in her forties, who had quite and eclectic hair style and she was wearing a conservationist-like pantsuit. In full she looked like Demi Moore in J.I. Jane. But it turned out that behind her slightly waggish surface she was a professional in her job. She had a diploma in child-psychology.

Finally Dave managed to unfold Rosie’s arms from around his neck and after a few smacks he waved back to her from the door and we were on our way. I took his hand on the corridor with a smile.

“I love watching you with your daughter. It moves me to see this much love.”

“Well… she’s one of the reasons of my life” he shrugged with a little smile “I can’t stop loving her.”

“Sure. You must love her. Sadly I never got this much love from my mother” I sighed.

“Yes, it’s hard. I’d do anything to her.”

“You’re a good father, David.”

“Thank you.”

“And you’re a good mate.”

“Thank your for this too” he said and while we were walking, he put his arm around my waist and kissed me – giving a little show for the few cleaners on the corridor.

\---

We collected Mart too and started to search for the smaller conference room, where waited for the voice trainer. The woman in her thirties was already there, chatting with Kessler. After introducing ourselves we started working right away. Dave brought his mineral water and started warming up with the help of the woman. He got used to her style and the way she worked quickly.

She hadn’t got too much work to do with Dave, he was in his top form. They ran through the scale a few times, Dave sang maybe half minute from a Depeche song and the teacher let him already go. While the woman was dealing with us, Dave went to run, had a shower and picked up Rosie. We were still sweating inside when they appeared again. Dave was in one of his maddening suits and Rosie favoured the pink-purple Barbie style.

I swallowed when I spotted him and I’ve got confused and mixed up my singing, blushing hard. I apologized and started again with the help of our teacher, trying to close Dave and Rosie out of my head. This happened all the time with me when I saw him in his damned black suits. I think this was one of my weaknesses. But soon we were ready and after thanking the woman we were on our way to the restaurant. This was a busy day again.

\---

David let Rosie choose the restaurant. She and her father loved Italian food the best, so we went to an Italian restaurant. Martin and I would eat cibet-cat soufflé with weed-puree and tobacco flavoured ice-cream just to be with our love. So we stepped in union into the roofed winter garden, where the restaurant was.

Father and daughter went through the menu easily and chose, but I’ve got lost in the names of the foods and as I was sitting next to Martin, we tried to guess what the names could mean. I rested my right hand on his knee – I haven’t even recognised it. He had a smile on his face as he tried to explain what kind of foods were behind the names and finally we managed to order.

I didn’t try new things this time, I’ve ordered Calzone with Chianti, and Mart ordered gnocchi with the same dry wine. Dave and his little girl had lasagne with coke. The waiter was very keen to please us, he brought out the food in a few minutes. It was warm enough and it tasted very fine. I couldn’t even eat the whole portion.

“Uhh… I’m gorged” I patted my tummy with a smile.

“Me too” Mart nodded and drank the rest of his red vine.

Rosie laughed and looked at Mart with big eyes.

“What do you want Missy with your big puppy eyes?” Blondie asked with a laugh.

“Can I have one of those biiiig ice-creams?” she smiled innocently.

“Well it depends on your daddy” he looked at Dave – and caught a shining glare, which disappeared right away, as if it never existed.

“Sure. I’ve promised it” the singer shrugged.

Martin waved for the waiter and ordered – what a surprise – choc ice-creams for everyone. He balanced the Gelato Italiano ice-creams on a tray and put it down in front of us. We fell on our ice creams like a little boy on the cookies at Christmas. Martin licked his mouth time after time – Dave watching him doing that and licking his own lips playfully. I nearly giggled when I saw how they were teasing each other secretly. I think I was the one who ate the most clearly. I laughed to myself, at least I’d managed to learn this properly. Of course Rosie’s face was smeary, while the guy continued teasing each other. I was wondering when was the last time I’ve seen them like this, but Dave’s voice brought me back to reality and we stood up.

\---

With full stomach, a bit sleepy I joined the others and went to the sound check. It was still strange to hold Dave’s hand in public, but I knew that now it was legal. Knowing this I walked into the stadium with a smile. Dave chatted with a few people. He said one or two words here and there, nodded or shook his head. He was working. It took a little time while the guys set everything – until then I was playing Barchoba with Rosie. She was a nice little girl and it seemed that she’d accepted me, she didn’t mean that I was her dad’s girlfriend and I was wondering on how flexible kids can be. When Dave waved for me to go to the stage, Wanda sand down next to her and went on with the game. While I adjusted my mic to the right height, I was watching them and I smiled every time when I heard Rosie’s ringing laughter when she guessed right. Squinting to the side I saw that I wasn’t the only one, who watched her – her dad did the same with a radiating smile on his proud face. Our smiling eyes met with Dave then we had to work. The probes were always tiring and we had to be patient, like now. Adjusting this and that – lower, louder etc… but now somehow I was enjoying it. I found the right way to sing soon.

We went to the dressing area, Mart was playing table football like always, Dave was running from here to there nervously like always, and Fletch was crunching his fingers like always. Christian stepped to me as I was sitting on one of the boxes and he gave me the hot tee I’ve asked for a few minutes ago. I thanked for it and went on with watching the workers. Now Rosie was running towards Dave, who picked her up and a group of fans was standing on the corridor – the usual meet and greet. Then the lights went out and the Intro came. Andy, Peter, Christian, Mart and me started slowly walking upwards the stairs. Like always, Dave was the last one, who came onto the stage – he was the main attraction.

I felt myself quite great tonight. I think, I’d say I was in a good mood. The songs came from routine and I was enjoying them. And the crowd was grateful for every single sound and sentences – as always. I smiled when my eyes met Dave’s then first I sang a bit surprised, dancing the usual choreography, when I suddenly felt Dave behind me – I never realised when he moved behind me, cuz I was too lost in my thoughts – and I nearly sang the wrong line, when his arms hugged me from behind and he started following the side-moves of my hips. It was an unbelievable feeling that he nuzzled to me in front of all those people. I was moved a bit from it. After collecting my last strength I went on with my work and felt Dave’s free hand moving upwards on my waist and suddenly he turned me towards him and we were dancing face to face. I could face a seducing beast. Dear God, what a beast was shouting there from the depths of his throat!

I’d say that I know him, cuz I live with him and I saw him singing, but this – what he was doing now – was breathtaking! If I’d turned to the side, I’d have seen Martin staring at us – his guitar was hanging in his hands. “Sweetest Condition” came and Dave danced to Martin. When the guitar solo came, he pushed out his hips and nearly lay down in front of him. He shook himself and kicked up in the air. Right in front of Martin he went down onto the floor and laid down, like on the “One Night in Paris” DVD, facing Blondie, looking up into his eyes panting. Mart nearly fainted by this time from the heady sexuality radiating from David.

Martin shook his head in disbelief and felt his seething soul breaking free as he was watching the man in front of him and the pictures of the previous night came into his mind. He was playing the guitar automatically while Dave stood up and gave him a hot look before winking and dancing out onto the catwalk, shaking his ass like a whore. Martin had to gulp as his feelings overwhelmed him while he was watching Dave. He thought he’d explode, if he has to watch him for another minute. Without thinking he finished the guitar solo part then put his guitar onto the floor and walked off the stage.

Because he was ready with his solo songs, they thought that he’s just having some rest, but he never came back on stage. Dave looked around every now and then very nervously and at the end when we bowed, he nearly cried. Martin was missing from the band. Dave was the first one, who’d left the stage and without a word he took my hand and ran along the corridor, checking Mart’s dressing room, which was empty of course. We put on our coats and he dragged me along. We were covered with sweat as we hurried to the waiting limousine and rushed to the hotel.

\---

“What the heck was this, Dave? Why did he leave?” I murmured under my nose, but I’ve got no response. Rosie came into my mind – first I was frightened, but then I calmed down, cuz I knew that she was with her nanny. Then I concentrated my whole attention not to fall in my high heels as he pulled me out of the car. He stopped me in front of our room and put his hands onto my shoulders to turn me towards him.

“Mia, sweetie, I’d like you to go in, take a shower, drink a tea or something and rest, okay?”

“But David, I’m worried too and I want to know what’s up with Martin!” I protested.

“No, no, not now. I think I know what his problem is. We were together last night and he’s so in love with me… He just loves me and this always shocks him. I hope he’s here and haven’t left to drink him to death somewhere. Would you mind if I slept with him tonight? He’d need it.”

“Sure. I love him too. Just go Dave” I said and kissed him on the mouth before opening our door with the magnet card. He looked at me gratefully once more and I saw behind his worry for Mar the love he felt for me. I calmed down from this and smiled. “Hey! Just go!” I shooed him away and stepped into the suite.


	48. Chapter 48

48.

 

Dave thanked God that Mia was this understanding in this not so easy situation too. He quietly knocked on Mart’s door, but he got no answer. Then he repeated it louder. Still no answer. He couldn’t decide whether he wasn’t there or something was wrong. He didn’t hesitate for too long, he hurried down to the reception and quickly explained his worries. The manager came right away and opened the door. The room was untouched. Dave was all at sea, but he opened the bathroom’s door. Martin was there – motionless.

His heart froze and he started praying to that unknown creature, whom he didn’t know. He stepped to Mart with a dark and frozen expression and touched his shoulder. The other man gave a start and began cursing loudly. It was clear now that he fell asleep in the bathtub.

Dave turned to the manager: “Thank you, now everything’ll be fine! Thank you for your help!”

“Did you really have to scare the shit out of me?” Martin asked, turning his head away as he sat up in the bathtub. The water moved and waved around his body.

“No, Martin, you scared the shit out of me. Twice this evening.”

“What’re you talking about?” he asked on a devil-may-care tone as he watched a little island of foam on the water. If his feelings towards Dave overwhelmed him, he always returned to this casual, stiff self of his. He tried to protect himself this way.

“You’ve disappeared in the middle of the concert… The fans didn’t understand a thing. And neither did I… And the other one happened just now, when I saw you motionless in the tub. Martin, what’s your problem? Tell me! I love you! You know it! We were together last night and we enjoyed it. Please, tell me what the heck is with you! You really scared me” he said quietly and with a dark expression “I love you very much so don’t even try to do this again! Do you want to kill me?”

“No” he said dryly and with his right hand he started lazily washing his left arm.

Dave nearly felt as the blonde man closed himself in front of him. This wasn’t the first time. In these times it was fucking hard to deal with him. Like an iceberg which can’t be melted. Sometimes even Dave’s fire wasn’t enough for this, just when he bombarded him with hard work.

“Alright Martin, as you think. You know what you do. Just to know: you hurt me and I was worried” Dave turned around and stepped out of the bathroom.

“Dave…” Martin sighed as he called after the man. He knew that he’d hear it. Mart let his hands sink back under the water with a crestfallen move and sighed again “It was because of you…” he started, knowing that Dave turned back in the door “… as you were laying there in front of me… with the pictures of last night… my emotions broke free and I couldn’t bear that much fire, which was burning me from the inside. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?” he finally looked up at him.

“That you want me. I want you too, Martin.”

“Both of us know that this thing means something different to you and for me too.”

“Why’d it be different?”

“Don’t deny it in front of you!”

“No, Mart, you misunderstand this. You don’t have a woman in your life right now, but you had. You were married.”

“And during all those years I loved you.”

“Don’t say such thing!”

“All along those long-long years. Until a few years ago when you finally gave yourself to me. It’s and unforgettable memory, David.”

“Sweetie, you can’t possess me, no one can. If I was able to control it, I’d give myself totally to the ones I love, but I can’t do it, I’m a selfish bastard. I do whatever I can do. I love you two as much as I’m able to.”

“Will you marry Mia?”

As he was leaning there against the doorframe for a whole minute Dave was just staring at Martin. “What’s this question now?”

“It’s very topical, David” he frowned a bit “Mia’ll collapse like a castle of cards, if you just beguile her with promises. I must give you a ‘side-note’ that you can’t imagine how many things she’d sacrificed for this love.”

“Mart, I’m in the middle of my divorce.”

 

“So you won’t marry her? You should tell her this in the beginning of your real relationship. You shouldn’t let her build up dreams around this. I’m sure that after your last statement – that you’ll marry her – you’ve planted the idea in her head.”

“Martin, don’t try to force her on me!”

“I don’t want to force her on you, I just want to see clearly.”

“You’re crazy, Martin. What the fuck is with you?!” David raised his voice “Yes, I love Mia, like no one else before and yes, with time – if the situation’ll be okay – I’ll marry her. I want to make her happy!” he shouted and banged the door shut behind him.

Martin resignedly closed his eyes and got out of the tub and went after Dave naked. For a moment he thought the singer’d left, but then he saw his lover standing in front of the window. With his quiet steps Mart walked behind him – although he knew that Dave heard him coming. He didn’t touch him, just stepped close to Dave’s back.

“I’m sorry. I was rude and I’ve hurt you.”

Dave just huffed as an answer, folding his hands in front of his chest.

“Hey… are you mad at me?” Curly asked.

“Jesus! Kessler and the others were churning and the crowd went crazy when you’d disappeared.”

“But YOU, Dave, are you mad at me?” he nuzzled to him with his wet body and gently embraced the singer’s waist. Dave sighed a big one and closed his eyes.

“Somewhere yes… but I can’t be mad at you for too long…”

“You know Dave, sometimes my emotions have to burst out to allow me going on, to stop life consuming me. See? You totally confuse me, you drive me crazy… This is why I act like a madman, this is why… I’m addicted to you this much. I don’t know how I could let this happen…” he mused.

“We shouldn’t have let this happen – it was a very dilettante thing. A professional should act like a professional. But sometimes this happens. You stupid jerk, come here!” he said and turned around to embrace him “Do you love me very much, hmm? Marty, do you love me?”

“What kind of question is this, David? Of course I love you. How many times should I prove it?” he looked into his eyes and frowned.

“You know that I love hearing it.”

“You’ll get bored from it” Martin shook his head with a smile.

“No, sweetie, I won’t get bored from this, ever. No matter if you or Mia says it” he stroked Mart’s face then kissed him softly. After a few minutes Martin pulled back from Dave’s mouth and with closed eyes he put his forehead to Dave’s.

“Now that you mention it, what’s with her?”

“Nothing special. She’s okay. She’s worried about you. Do you want to come over to her?”

“I can go, or rather you should call her over. It was a while ago since we three were together. Or don’t you wan it anymore? Don’t you want the three of us being together? I’d understand it, cuz after all you live with her now.”

“You talk silly again, luv. I love it with you two. You know how much Mia loves it as well” he grinned and his smile got devilish “And by the way, we hadn’t got the chance yet to try out our piercings…”

“Dave, David… don’t!” Martin swallowed hard, but his mate could sense that his objection wasn’t serious.

“And next to this I had the chance to experience the wonders of a tongue-piercing… uhhh…” he moaned from the memory.

“Great, David. Let’s go to your room. David, I want to be with you two. What is she doing now? Are you sure she isn’t asleep? And where’s Rosie? Won’t we disturb her?”

“No, we won’t. Wanda is with her, but my tiny star is already in bed. I gave her a goodnight kiss” he smiled and stroked Martin’s face. His friend accepted the gentle touch gratefully then followed the singer into the other room.

\---

Not knowing about their plans I was sleeping on my tummy between the creased sheets, which – with my thin top – let my tattoo uncovered. They came in, but I didn’t wake up. They approached the bed from both sides and softly caressed my body, but I was still sleeping soundly. They’ve decided that they’d rather love each other this time and went to the couch in front of the window. Dave laid Martin down and he straddled him. He held down Mart’s shoulders and started biting his neck.

Martin was sighing quietly and bent his head back with closed eyes. His hands were sliding on Dave’s back, thighs and butt, rolling up his black T-shirt, while his lover slowly loosened Mart’s trousers. With his hands he lifted David’s hips and slid the zipper down and greedily went for the black panther’s family treasure – this was the moment I woke up from Dave’s deep groaning. And I was just staring at them. It’s such a wonder opening my eyes to see this! I didn’t say a word, just rose onto my elbows and propped my chin, enjoying watching my beauties’ passion.

The boys didn’t notice that they had an audience – they went on discovering each other’s bodies. Dave’s T-shirt soon landed on the floor, a few centimetres from the bed where I was laying. Quickly I reached for it and grabbed it, burying my nose into the material to feel his scent. I pupated into the blanket and went on watching them from my “cave”. I was peeking, although I knew that I could’ve simply watched them. But I didn’t want them to know that I was awake. For once I wanted to see what they do when there are just the two of them. Dave was totally naked now and to my greatest surprise Mart pulled out a black silk-rope from his back-pocket very slowly and Dave already held out his hands…

My eyes popped out and I couldn’t breathe for a moment. I watched – Dave’s scent exciting my senses – as Martin slowly and very stirringly put the rope around Dave’s wrists. His eyes nearly burned the singer. In the next moment he stuck to his mouth for a few sensual kisses, which turned more and more passionate. Now he was the one who pushed his lover onto his back and leading his hands behind Dave’s back, he tied them together. Dave let him do so patiently and was panting quietly. I felt that the sight turned me on, but I held my desire back and was just watching the best movie ever. Now Mart tore off his own clothes and with a totally wild look he came at David. I thought I’d fall off the bed. I could imagine the opposite any time, but this scene amazed me – as Dave was lying there with fake helplessness, Mart mauling him…

I didn’t want to slobber Dave’s T-shirt, so rather I’d started gnawing at the blanket, but I liked this little suffering, which came with the movie. I greedily followed as Martin bit along Dave’s chest in a not too gentle way, getting closer to the already hardened shaft. But for my surprise he didn’t started pampering Sir Lefty, but his mouth slid to Dave’s piercing and started playing with it with his tongue and teeth.

Dave tried to sit up – I don’t know what he wanted – but Mart didn’t let him, he pushed him forcefully back. The veins on Dave’s arms and neck stuck out and he was panting. He tried to break free, but Martin prevented him from doing so and an evil grin appeared on his face as he looked down at the man struggling under him. They were playing manly games.

I was watching them with bulging eyes. They were nearly burning each other’s eyes and for my surprise I saw submission next to the resistance. It seemed that the roles were set, I could see who the dominant’d be this time… I was assured with this theory when Martin conjured something from the thin air. I couldn’t see it clearly then he started speaking on a low tone, nearly growling:

“Well, my dear, if you don’t want to obey, I’ll show you who your master is…”

Dave didn’t protest anymore – like an obedient dog, he let his master tie him up, only wagging his tail was missing from the picture. And Martin wasn’t too gentle with him, he nearly chocked him as he was pulling the leash back and upwards. Dave totally surrendered himself to Curly. I was biting my lower lip and the edge of the pillow wildly. Martin pulled the chains - attached to the leash – and made Dave sit up and he kissed his dog fiercely. His free hand slid onto the rock-hard shaft. David stroked his lover’s and ruler’s face, but Curly pushed his hand away. Dave gulped a big one.

“Just when I ask for it, my dear. You’re allowed to do just the things I order, ask or let you to do. Understand?” David slowly nodded and somehow he seemed so lost. Mart heard me moving on the bed and both of them looked up… “Look at there, we have an audience, Dave!” he pulled the chain a bit, which clinked from this. Dave smiled a bit, but he didn’t dare to smile wider – because of Mart. And maybe he was afraid a bit of what I’d say to this situation. “Since when has been peeking our little missy from her safe bunker?” Curly asked, kneeling on the couch.

“Well, broadly speaking… from nearly the moment you came in and you’ve started the fun. I’ve tried not to pay attention, but this is fucking exciting!” I licked the edge of my mouth. Dave seemed a little relieved and smiled wider.

“Look, Mia, what I have!” and he pulled the chain on Dave’s neck “Do you want to stroke my little pet?”

I nodded with dry mouth. “My favourite slave” I whispered and when I got off the bed and walked to them, Dave whispered back:

“In your room, your burning eyes…” and I embraced him and pulled him to me.

“Pipe down!” Mart dragged back his pet “And what’ll I have in exchange? Do you think, he will always be here?”

“You’ll leave him lying here, won’t you? Tell me, Marty, what do you want in exchange?” I eyed his naked body.

“Sing for me! What’ll you sing, Mia?” he asked. The answer was simple:

To the soul's desires  
The body listens  
What the flesh requires  
Keeps the heart imprisoned

What the spirit seeks  
The mind will follow  
When the body speaks  
All else is hollow

I'm just an angel  
Driving blindly  
Through this world

I'm just a slave here  
At the mercy  
Of a girl

Oh I need your tenderness  
Oh I need your touch  
Oh I dream of one caress  
Oh I pray too much

To the soul's desires  
The body listens  
What the flesh requires  
Keeps the heart imprisoned

What the spirit seeks  
The mind will follow  
When the body speaks  
All else is hollow

You keep me waiting  
For the promise  
That is mine

Please stop debating  
Please stop wasting  
Your time

Oh I need your tenderness  
Oh I need your touch  
Oh I dream of one caress  
Oh I pray too much

“It was very nice, Mia kitty and how true it is… We are all slaves to each other and to our desires. Do you see the chain on Dave’s neck? It doesn’t show the situation right, cuz it is my heart, which is chained with it. I love him as much as a human being can love” he whispered quietly to himself.

“Martin… I…” Dave wanted to start, but his lover looked at him sternly.

“What did I say, Dave?” he stepped back into his role.

“That I can just…”

“Exactly! Well, Davie, is your body hungry yet? Hm?” he licked along the singer’s lips then pushed him back a bit.

“Yes, it is, Martin.”

“Alright then. Mia, please start undressing – but very slowly – I want him to suffer as much as it’s possible. Sing and dance for us slowly. Just croon for yourself, I love your voice.”

“I’m your slave too?”

“Do you want to be my slave?”

“Yes, I want to be on Dave’s side always and anywhere.”

“Alright, then so be it” and he put Dave’s leash into my hand and stepped to his leather jacket. I sat down onto the bed and bent my head onto Dave’s shoulder and he did the same. I slowly pulled my top over my head and started unbuttoning my trousers, crooning “Pleasure, little treasure” meanwhile, until Mart came back.

“Very good, Mia, very good…” Mart sat down onto the couch again and took Dave’s chain back.

I went on with the crooning and the undressing. I saw the desire growing in Dave’s eyes, who was huddled up on the couch next to Martin – not daring to move until his Master said so. This time he wanted to be a good puppy.

“Come here!” Blondie ordered when I was standing naked in front of them – and I did so. “Kneel down!” I obeyed again and was waiting for the next order “Your neck!” I propped myself on his knees as I leant forward and let him put up my collar too “Now you’re mine too…” he pulled my chains too with a smug and dark grin, eyeing me from head to toe. I looked up at him and bit down on my mouth – submission in my eyes. He pulled my head closer to his groin by the chain. I looked up at him questioningly. Did he want to torture Dave with this too?

He didn’t say a word just nodded and I took him into my mouth. I squinted onto Dave, who nearly went insane from the sight. With his hands tied together behind him, he had no chance to touch himself. I sent him a pitying look then went on with pleasing my ruler. I desperately wanted David to make me his.

Martin was watching me as he took both chains into his left and his right hand stroked out my longer and messy tufts from my face and he moaned loudly: “Give me your fingers too!”

And I did what he wanted me to do. I was pleasing him as he liked. But after a few minutes I slid my mouth off of his rock-hard cock, risking a glimpse upwards. I saw from the corner of my eyes that Dave was swallowing hard and his gaze followed the lines of my body. Then his eyes started jumping from Mart’s figure to mine then back at him.

“Why did you stop?” Martin growled.

“Please…”

“What do you want from me?” he lifted one eyebrow a bit and pulled my chains. The leather of the collar cut into my flesh a bit. I knew that I was more than ready for a copious ride.

“Please, give him to me!”

“I’ll think about it” he answered “Let’s see… you were obedient and dutiful… so why not? Untie his hands!”

“Thank you, Martin!” I looked up at him gratefully and reached for Dave’s wrists to free him “Can I kiss him?” I asked Martin looking straight into Dave’s eyes – he had a little smile on his face.

“Yes…”

I was kissing him greedily, cuz both of us were turned on from this little game. Meanwhile I’ve managed to free his hands and finally he could touch me. And our hands were everywhere. We couldn’t get enough from each other’s bodies – we were slaves. We belonged to each other. His eyes were burning in a deep dark fire and his body was shivering from the suppressed desire.

Martin watched his little pets on the ends of the leashes with a smile and when I thought that Dave’ll finally penetrate me, Mart pulled me back to him and he laughed on our disappointed faces.

“No, no. Maybe first you should please me and then maybe – maybe – you can play with each other.”

I was mad and then Spartacus came into my mind and the pain of all the ridden people. I saw real pain in David’s eyes and I knew that this was the first time in our relationship when he was really jealous of Martin. His eyes fisted and he bent his head down. The Taurus was about to horn.

“Hey, hey, don’t be sad, I won’t take your in-house kitty away…” he stroked along the brown-haired man’s face, who was on fire from the heat and the desire… and maybe from anger too. “Bear it a little bit further!” he whispered while he pulled my chain a bit closer to him so I had to prop myself next to his thighs again, if I didn’t want losing my balance. “Sweetheart, while the kitty serves his master, you can use her body. Embrace her from behind! Don’t think that I’m a bad master. I know that you’re like bucking cats. I think Dave’d mew for me, if I asked him to do so. Would you mew to be with your kitty, Dave?”

Dave didn’t say a word, he remained silent, but Mart went on with provoking him and he could still bear it, but when Mart wanted to pull me away from him, he bent his head back and roared loudly – even the hotel’s walls were shaking from it. Mart recoiled and suddenly silence fell upon us. David stood up and removed his collar. He still didn’t say a word, but with one of his hands he grabbed Mart’s neck and with his other he put the collar onto it. After it he led him to the radiator and he tied him to it.

“Sit!” he growled at him “Good boy. Stay here!”

He came back to me, took me into his arms and put me down onto the bed. He made love to me on a gentle way – keeping my chain in his left all along.


	49. Chapter 49

49.

 

Yes, things had changed this way – this was how master turned into a slave and slave into a master. And I was enjoying the consequences. I was counting with the wild animal, which can break out in any minute while he was moving inside of me, but he remained gentle the whole time. It was useless from me to beg for harder thrusts. This time he made love to me in the way he wanted it and my burning body surrendered itself to him. There was no need to have my chain in his hand. But he was keeping it there and he jerked it a bit when I wanted more. He silenced me with his determined look and I enjoyed it and was suffering from it in the same time, because he wasn’t taking me as rough as I wanted.

I knew that I was just a few moments from losing ground from the joy Dave can give me and I was just laying there, giving myself to him completely. After we were over our climaxes, I looked at Mart, while David tried to fill his lungs with air. Mart was sitting there quietly and looked back at me. I was wondering as I rested my hands on the panting Dave’s back, whether Martin was still thinking about the previous sally, whether he’d noticed Dave’s jealousy as the game turned into reality for him… I’ve never seen my singer run a riot like this for me before. Of course we had similar situations, like when I was in the hospital and Martin told me that Dave nearly beat him half-dead. But this was something else – back then the cause of the beating was the fact that my life was endangered – now the cause was my possession. We are still beings driven by our instincts, ancient feelings move us. Two male fights for a female. But it was more for Dave – I saw worry in Dave’s eyes – and I thanked for the creator that I had such a man on my side.

Dave stood up and stroked along my back then he stepped to Mart and caressed him. He knelt down in front of him and fondled him. He kissed him and went on from there where I’ve stopped. Martin soon sighed and bent his head back from pleasure. I could see on him that first he couldn’t handle Dave’s previous actions, but then he started easing up. He dug into Dave’s hair to push his head lower, but Dave pulled away and looked up at him with evil sparkles in his eyes.

I moved to turn onto my tummy and from this the free end of my chain slid down the bed and it was rocking there in the air. Martin looked at me as I rested my head on one outstretched arm and was purring for them. I narrowed my eyes and with my other hand I started playfully pulling the end of the chain towards me, moving from one link to the other.

“Dave, Dave” Martin jogged his mate, who was busy with carrying out his friend’s entertaining precisely.

“Hmm?” he asked.

“Look, our kitty wants to take control… Will you let her do so?”

“Me? Why me? Catch her!” Dave looked up.

“No, no. A few minutes ago you’ve showed me who kitty’s master is! You should catch her!”

“Traitor!” I hissed and playfully scratched towards him in the air with my ‘claws’, pulling up my nose. Then I rolled onto my back and twisted more of the chain around my wrist as I teasingly stretched on the bed. But before I could reach the end of the chain, Dave’s hand appeared on the bed and grabbed the metal, stopping my hand.

“You feel the wind of freedom, Mia kitty? Hm? Well, I must tell you that it isn’t that time yet…. We have a horny tom here. Don’t you want to take revenge because of his betrayal? Hm?”

“Sure I want it… and my revenge’ll be bloody!” I snarled menacingly on Mart, who was still tied to the radiator and who tried to look frightened, but he giggled.

“Mia… you… you look very dangerous!” he laughed.

I smiled to myself and Dave grinned too – probably Martin didn’t check Dave’s back from a closer view, which was full of the thin and long scars from our lovemakings.

“You don’t pay attention to the details, Marty… I’ll scallop you!” I snarled at him, trying my long deep-bourdon nails on the sheet.

“Wow, nice claws! Why haven’t I seen them earlier?” Mart whimpered, cuz as he got onto the bed I attacked him and a red line across his chest showed that my operation was successful.

“Maybe next time you won’t be this unguarded, darling” Dave stroked Mart’s back and when his hand reached his neck, he grabbed it firmly.

“David, this hurts!” Mart tried to parry.

“I know, that’s why I do it, sweetie. And now go and try to floor our kitty. You like it when she puts up the fight, don’t you?”

“Oh yes, I like that. Kitty-kitty! Your wild cat side’s arrived, right?” he teased me as I was sitting on his hips, watching him with my cat-like eyes. Dave was still holding Martin’s chain, but mine was around my wrist, letting me move freely. My reflexes were working great so I could dodge Martin when he grabbed my waist and tried to force me under him.

But I was quick enough to scratch him badly and he moaned from this loudly. “Mia, are you nuts? What’ll I say to the people?”

“Relax Marty-boy, just your neck is bleeding” Dave noted “Try it again! You have three tries together and if you can’t succeed, I’ll punish you.”

“You already used one opportunity up” I grinned, drawing towards the bedpost “Well, honey, will you try to bring me under, or not?” I leant against the wall with my back as I was kneeling there and I loosened the chain around my wrist a bit and strained it between my hands.

The feral lust and maybe anger flashed in Martin’s eyes as he was slowly drawing nearer, sizing up his chances. He swallowed a big one in his excitement when the chains clank between my hands. The light was playing dangerously in his eyes in the half-lit room.

“Be careful Mia, cuz I won’t let you win… You’ll be mine…”

“Wow, I’m scared to death, Marty. See? I’m shivering…” I answered on a cynical tone, with an ironical little smile on my face. I squinted at Dave and I saw that he liked it. When Martin growled Dave pulled his chain a bit, but then he let him closer to me. But I didn’t count with how quick Martin can be and as I turned away, he grabbed me from behind and pressed me down, forcing my thighs open with his knee.

“Mia, I’ll fuck you now!” he panted and held me tight.

“Nah, it won’t go that easy, Marty!” I protested as my body was squirming under him, searching the way out.

“You can’t escape” he hissed into my ears, tensing his arms.

Searching my way out I dug my nails into his skin, drawing blood from the little wounds. He moaned and winced. Using up the opportunity I bit his forearm. He pulled his hand away and hissed and I quickly got out from between his arms, but he reached after me and pushed me onto my back. My head was in the air, over the edge of the bed, so I moved my neck to the side. Now I was able to look at him, and after a moment – for Mart’s biggest surprise – the straining chain between my hands was around Martin’s neck.

“And what’s now, Mart?” I asked with fierceness in my eyes “Do you want me to choke you, or you’ll give up?”

“You think you’re that strong?” he asked and strained the muscles in his neck and instead of going for the chain, he pushed my shoulders down – digging his fingers into the pit of my collarbones. I felt my hands starting to shake and weaken and Mart ripped off the chain and now he really floored me and with the same movement he penetrated me fiercely, causing a big moan from me.

My head fell back so it was in the air again. I tried to hold it during his wild thrusts and I felt that the veins on my neck bulged out and the blood ran into my head. I moaned plaintively. With one swift move he pulled me completely onto the bed – pulling away from me for a moment – then he pushed himself into my body roughly again. He possessed me. Painfully as he pinned my hands down and pushed himself into me fully, forcing my legs open. I was moaning and screaming loudly and deeply. I think Dave couldn’t decide whether from pain or joy. Martin’s chain was still in his hand. My eyes met Dave’s as I moaned again between the wild thrusts. Then he’d decided that I was in pain and with one move he pulled Martin off of me, who slid onto the floor from the dash.

“No! Noo… don’t hurt him” I moaned when I saw his angry eyes “Let him back to me!”

“But Mia! He was hurting you! I saw it!” he raised his voice.

I was half-conscious from my dual feelings. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I think I wanted Mart to continue it.

“Alright Mart, go on, but don’t be such an animal, she’ll get hurt, okay?”

“Yes, David, I understood” and he climbed back on the bed and I climbed back to him. Dave was holding our chains in both hands. And it had to be like this – no matter what the situation is, at the end Dave’ll always be on the top of the triangle.

He slid back into me carefully, which caused a silent moan from me and our eyes met. Now he hasn’t forced himself into me completely, but he started to move rhythmically. I closed my eyes and bent my head back as I was panting. I felt Dave watching every move of mine. Martin’s chain clank in Dave’s hand when I scratched along Curly’s shoulder. He growled from this, but he didn’t start to move wilder. But I wanted it hard again. I’ve got used to the previous forceful attack. But of course I didn’t want him to hurt me.

“Come! Deeper!” I moaned to Blondie with a cloudy gaze “Harder!” I scratched him again, but this time on his back.

“I can’t, Master won’t let me” he grinned and finally Dave laughed too. The tension had disappeared and Dave let the chains go and he jumped onto the bed.

“My doggies, Master is here, you can lick me now!”

I reached for Dave’s nape immediately and pulled his head down for a wild kiss, while Mart went on with his thrusts.

“I want to change position! Now!” I cried out when I saw Dave licking along one of Mart’s bleeding scratch. I wanted to give some job for my mouth.

“How do you want it?” Dave asked me.

I pushed Mart off of me and turned around. As I was kneeling in front of him, I pressed my butt against his groin, playfully exciting him further.

“Come here, Davie, here in front of me! Let me lick you!”

“It will be greeeat….” he smiled and did as he was told. Mart hasn’t hesitated and he was already in me again. Desire was straining him now badly and he wasn’t far from his release.

I bent down greedily, taking Dave between my lips, helping with one of my hands. By now I knew what he wanted. He was turned on like hell too and I couldn’t let him suffer. I smiled then let him stroke out my hair from my face, encouraging me for a steadier rhythm, while Martin was playing with me intensely from behind. A few times I had to moan with my mouth full, which only helped Dave closer to his release. Then he exploded into my mouth and I swallowed everything he had to give. After lifting my head a bit from my nice blow-job, a drop ran down my chin when I cried out with closed eyes in the same moment Martin did – he climaxed just after me. It was a good timing – like synch-swimmers – nearly at the same time!

We were lying there in one pile, gasping loudly for air. We were sweaty all over and the room felt hot, but we were happy in each other’s arms.

“Well… this… this was…” I moaned panting as I rested my head on Dave’s tummy “What was this?” I asked.

“This was an awesome lovemaking” Martin moaned and Dave took the chains in his hands again.

“What should your Master do to you now, you bad dogs?!”

“Punish me! Punish me!” I growled still half-conscious and bit into his tummy, leaving a nice hickey there.

“I’ll be a sadistic animal with you today Mia, so I WON’T PUNISH YOU!” and he was laughing so hard on his own joke that he nearly fell off the bed. I loved it when he was ungainly.

“You dirty dog!” I cried out and climbed off the bed.

He was still laughing – just like Martin – and in the moment I was off the bed, they’ve started wrestling.

“You’re hopeless!” I said with a smile then took off my collar. For a minute I was looking at it deep in my thoughts then an evil smile crawled onto my face as I was watching Dave’s naked neck…

“Dave, will you be my slave?” I nuzzled to him.

“I’m already yours, sweetheart, you don’t have to put that collar on me. I love you.”

“I love you to, but it bugs my fantasy…” I purred into his neck – I knew that this always gives him the chill.

“You do what you want” he laid down on the bed and I was feasting my eyes on his beautiful body – and I wasn’t the only one. Martin was sitting at the end of the bed quietly. He pulled his legs up and adored his love openly. He was lost in the dance of Dave’s muscles – in the way he moved, in the straining of his thigh, in the form of his calves, in the fire of Dave’s eyes. He looked at his love and he nearly cried from the beauty he saw, cuz David was really beautiful. I put the collar onto his thick neck – I was shaking too. I barely could lace it around his bull-like neck. He growled on a deep tone and this voice sent burning arrows into my groin – I wanted him. But instead of nuzzling to him I crawled to Martin to whisper into his ear, while I was watching Dave with one eye.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”

“He is…” he swallowed hard while I took his chain into my hand too then kissed him tenderly, letting Dave watch us.

Martin closed his eyes and let me do so and I intemperately slid onto his lap, hugging his bruised shoulders. The chains clank. I wanted to set Dave afire.

“Touch me!” I whispered into Martin’s mouth. I was loud enough for Dave to hear me and I led Blondie’s hands onto my body, while I squinted onto the love of my life.

Martin’s hands ran vaguely on my body – not in the way he usually was doing it – and with his eyes he searched for David’s approval. Dave nodded slightly and then Mart went on freely. He made me scream his name in no time – he was a professional. Then I pulled his chains and stopped him. He looked at me with a cloudy expression.

“What do you want?” he asked, but at that time I was already off of him and propped my back with some pillows, opening my legs.

“Come here, my little doggy, let me feel your tongue!” I smiled at him. He looked at Dave again.

“Now he isn’t the one who gives you orders, Marty!” I pulled his chain again “Come here!”

“Mia, you can’t understand this. I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t want him to be angry at me. I can’t take it, Mia…”

“You want me, Martin?” Dave asked him and Mart slowly nodded “Honey, you know, you’re sweet” Dave nuzzled to him purring and the spike of jealousy prickled me. Sometimes it’s not easy to share the one, who’s the most important for us.

Dave hasn’t noticed my look, which turned slowly darker and darker. He pushed Martin onto the sheets and started loving him with his whole being – paying attention just on him. In that moment he couldn’t see me at all.

The game I’ve started backfired. I felt my heart aching in my chest. Jealousy was burning inside of me. Alright, if you want him then just take him, don’t trouble yourselves, I thought climbing off the bed and I started picking up my clothes and meanwhile I couldn’t close out their moans from my head.

\---

I’ve got dressed and left the room. They didn’t notice it at all. I didn’t know where to go so I ended up in the bar where I ordered a coke and stirring it with the straw I was staring into nothing when I’ve heard some young Depeche fans sitting down to the neighbouring table. They had some rooms here too. It wasn’t rare that fans booked into hotels just because of the boys. They were four – three girls in black and a blonde, tattooed guy in a silver shirt. I cocked my ears, I was curious what they were talking about.

“And Peter’s improvisation on the last concert was awesome too! You know during ‘Leave in silence’!” the blonde guy explained keenly. It was clear that he tried to talk one of the girls over, who made a doubtful expression.

“Well, dunno… you know well that I don’t like that guy.”

“But he’s talented” another girl said and sipped from her beer.

“I’m telling you the same!” the boy smiled “And I think Mia is talented too. I like her voice.”

I’ve started grinning into my glass – as a matter of fact I was still one of them and not quite, cuz I was Dave’s and Martin’s lover and I lived with Dave. Then I’ve heard from the long haired girl:

“This Mia is fucking lucky. If it’s not enough that she sings for this awesome band, she’s Dave’s girlfriend as well. Oh god, what an amazing guy!”

I quietly laughed and tried to turn away a bit so they couldn’t see my face. But the blonde guy looked around, searching for the source of the laugh and his eyes stopped by me.

“Oh god!” I heard while I sipped some of my coke with the straw.

“What?” the brunette followed his look.

He didn’t say a word. I was sitting with my back turned to them so I didn’t know what they were doing, but suddenly it was quiet, which lasted for a whole minute. Then I’ve heard excited whispering and the blonde guy came to me.

“Ehmmm… hello, I, I… so I’m Roland and these are… uhm… well these are my friends… I just wanted to greet you and ask you whether… uhm… I…”

“Just say it Roland, I won’t bite” I laughed. The boy amused me very much.

“Can I invite you for a drink? I don’t want to seem pushy, really… I… I’m just happy that we met.”

“Alright, why not? Do you want me to sit down to your table?”

They quickly nodded. Roland pulled out the chair for me. I was mesmerised.

“Will you introduce your friends too?”

“Ehm… sure. She’s Sara” he pointed at the brunette “Nelly” came the next name, which belonged to a red-haired girl with eyebrow-piercing. She waved friendly and smiled then he pointed at the last girl, who seemed quite shy “And Bethany”.

“Well, nice to meet you” I smiled. The situation was quite amusing and at least I had no time to think about the guys upstairs “By the way thanks for the compliment” I winked.

“Oh, so you’ve heard it?” Sara bit her lip.

“Yep” I smiled wider.

“Sorry, we didn’t…”

“Oh, just let it go” I waved with my hand “I had been walking in your shoes too. I wouldn’t have thought that once I’ll be standing here. I was a simple fan too” I shrugged then thanked for the waiter for my drink and I ordered a round for the others too. They weren’t much younger than me.

“You? You were…? I can’t believe” Sara gawped.

“Yep. Nothing’s impossible” I sang and they laughed out loud, cuz now all five of us were thinking of Dave.

Bethany cleared her throat and after her eyes fell she asked: “Mia, Mia, how does it feel being with Dave?”

“Well, great” I laughed “Otherwise I wouldn’t be with him” and I thought of the couple making love upstairs. If these fans had known, they’d have fallen off of their chairs. I ordered another round – this time it was tequila – cuz they voted for that and I asked Louis, the bartender, whether they had some Depeche Mode. They had – The Singles 86-98.

They asked me about a lot of things and I answered their questions. I could understand their curiosity well and their jaws fell onto the floor a few times. Of course I’d have reacted the same way, knowing that wonders happen with simple fans too… The mood started getting better and better as we drank one tequila after the other and I’ve started easing up like them and when we weren’t chatting, we were singing together. I felt myself great. I asked Louis to turn the volume up and he did it. More people came into the bar, but our little group was sitting separated in a box.

Christian showed up by the bar and ordered a Heineken then he spotted me, came to us and asked us whether he can sit down. They happily slid to the side to give him some space and now our box was quite crowded. I was sitting half-way on Roland’s lap, who behaved humbly and not unobtrusively, but it was clear that he wasn’t against this turn of events.

Now they bombarded Christian with their questions and I had to smile from this. The blonde drummer answered them kindly and now I’ve started paying attention too as I sipped from my drink time to time, cuz despite working together, I had not much time to get to know him. I felt myself well, but I was sitting quite uncomfortably so after returning from the loo I sat not next to Roland but fully onto his lap so we could sit leisurely. I winked at him playfully. I knew that I blushed a bit from the alcohol, which I felt in my head already. Usually strong drinks had this effect on me.

Not caring about anything we had fun and I was drunk a bit, but the mood was great. Sara and Bethany were whispering about something when they suddenly went silent. We haven’t noticed this with Roland, cuz at this time we were busy with something else. In the little secluded corner we fell on each other’s neck a bit and now everyone went silent by the table.

I came back to reality after Christian cleared his throat and kicked my leg a little under the table. I looked up without a clue from behind Roland’s shoulder just to spot Dave, who was standing there with an anger-coloured stiff face. He was standing next to the table in his jeans with his arms folded in front of his white T-shirt-covered chest. I didn’t react just let Roland go, who – grasping the situation – went dead-pale.

“Can I ask you Mia what the hell you are doing and with whom?” he flashed his eyes onto the unlucky Roland, who couldn’t say a word or move at all. Dave reached for me over the girls’ heads and dragged me off of Roland’s lap. He asked him to follow him into the hotel’s park, cuz he had something to arrange with him.

“Don’t make a scene” I said quietly to Dave “It’s not his fault. Leave him alone” I said on a calm tone, although somehow I felt some gratification inside. Sweet revenge?, it popped into my mind.

“Compared to that he stuck his tongue down your throat quite advisedly!” he hissed at me with burning and wild eyes – he could have killed with that stare. His voice was shaking with anger as he looked at me and back at Roland “Move, kiddo!”

“Dave! Leave him alone!” I grabbed his upper arm, but he shook off my hand and didn’t look at me. His killing eyes darted into the other man’s. I think I’ve managed to hurt him badly.

Roland stood up shaking – Dave Gahan wanted to beat him up, because he crossed the line. But he’d rather let Dave beat him to death than hitting his idol. Dave dashed forward and he hurried after him obediently and asked himself how badly it’ll hurt. They stepped into the garden and faced each other. He quailed, while Dave stood there menacingly. His eyes were flickering with anger and nearly electric sparkles were crackling around him.

“Why did you do this, boy? You knew that Mia is mine, didn’t you?”

“Yes, Mr. Gahan, I’m sorry, I… I didn’t think it over, sir.”

“Sir? Are you OK, kiddo? What the hell are you talking about? I’m about to punch into your face and you call me sir?”

“Yes, sir.”

Dave was standing there shocked then he laughed out loud. The tension dropped immediately. The “rival” – with his tail between his legs – surrendered to the alpha-male. There was no need to hit anymore. He dropped his hand, turned on his heels, but he looked back over his shoulder: “Get out of here, kiddo, cuz the next time I see you around Mia, I’ll really beat you up” and with his long strides he headed back into the hotel.

\---

I was playing with my tongue-piercing. This little game turned into a habit of mine too, like to many other piercing-owners. But now I was doing this because of the suppressed nervousness and anger as I was huddled up in my room in one of the armchairs, hugging my knees, covered with worn-out jeans. I still felt the booze in my head, I was a bit tipsy, but I still could think. I scornfully snorted from the thought “Dave protects what’s his”… Sure… his, right? I was still jealous on Martin. Did I do this because of jealousy? It was strange but I didn’t regret it. But I didn’t know what to say or do. Should I leave? Or should I wait for him? I’ll wait for him, that’d be better. Now the world’s spinning anyway, but it’s not that bad.

Dave came back and he was crawling grimly then he couldn’t bear it anymore and came to me.

“You were offended, right? This is why you did this.”

First I just looked at him. Even in his nervousness he was irresistible, but I dug my nails into my arms to hold myself back. “Probably yes. Congratulations for guessing it.”

“Why are you like this with me? What did I do wrong? You’re just jealous because of Martin! Don’t you see that you two try to tear me apart? I love you very much, but I won’t let you cheat on me!”

“I had no intentions cheating on you!” I looked up at him with the sparkles of anger in my eyes.

“Oh really?! Then it was just a coincidence that he had his tongue in your mouth, right?” he started crawling in the room nervously.

The worst thing was that he was right. What’d I feel, if I saw him with another woman sitting on his lap while they were kissing? Even in my lightly drunk state of mind I felt that maybe this wasn’t a bright idea. I turned my head away and looked out onto the balcony.

“I wouldn’t cheat on you. I’m sorry. You’re right. And I’m stupid!” I bent my head onto my arms so I could look away from his hurt face.

“Alright Mia. Please don’t do it again, you hurt me with this. If you wanted this then you’ve managed to do so” he said on a sad tone and walked into the living room to sit onto the couch. He started flipping through the channels in a mad pace. Usually he does this when he’s really upset. Great, I was a jerk again.

But I didn’t move just turned my head towards the dark sky. I let him calm down a bit. And I tried to do the same. Where can Martin be? Maybe he’s already asleep. I was sad. I knew that this was another stupid thing from me, but it hurt that he was able to sink into pleasures that much that he hadn’t noticed that I was there too… He hadn’t noticed me – whom he supposedly has chosen for his mate… I sighed a big one and walked into the living room as well. I stopped behind the couch and put my arms around his chest in a lax embrace and gave a little peck onto his face.

“Do you want me to go?” I asked quietly while I saw from the corner of my eye that he was still flipping through the channels.

“No, stay, don’t go! Where’d you go anyway? Cuz what’d you do without the great Dave Gahan, who isn’t able to make his girlfriend happy, who needs to search for love elsewhere?” he said bitterly.

“Don’t blame yourself. Sometimes I go crazy, you know. I can’t take it anymore or something like that” I shrugged, choking the other sentences inside of me as I nuzzled into his lap and put my head onto his shoulder.

“Hmm, are you sure you want me?” he pulled up one eyebrow.

“Don’t fool around, David! You know how much I love you!”

“I know? Yep.”

“Dave, don’t do this!”

“What?”

“What you’re doing now!”

“What?”

“That you’re offended.”

“Oh, so I should clap my hands now? God, Mia!”

He went silent again and was just staring at the rainclouds on the weather forecaster’s diagram and when the weather forecast on BBC was over, he switched to CNN and watched it there too.

“Do you hate me now?” I squinted up at him from his shoulder, scratching his white T-shirt on his chest.

He clenched his teeth together so hard! His whole face strained as anger was working in him. “You’ve hurt me – I forgave you, but don’t wait for me to feel happy about this whole thing!”

“I go, Dave, it has been too long in this place for me, I’m hurting you with everything I do now.”

“Stay, kitty, here, with me and just sit next to me quietly. Just be here with me, don’t leave me alone now. I need some company.”

“Alright. But can I go at least to the loo?” I smiled at him faintly. Finally his eyes eased up a little.

“Yep.”

I climbed off of his lap and closed the door behind me. I leant against it for a minute. Jesus, you’re so stupid, Mia, I nagged at myself then I washed my face with some cold water. I grimaced when I looked into my eyes in the mirror. Stupid bitch… The temptation was strong to search for something in the first aid kit, but I stopped myself, although my fingers turned white from grabbing the edge of the basin. Then I went back to him and sat down next to him. Not into his lap, just next to him. I pulled my legs up and bent against the armrest as I lay down huddled up and put a pillow under my head. I looked towards the TV without seeing anything at all, but I didn’t say a word, just like he wanted.

After a long-long time I felt him taking my hand and my closed eyes opened. He was still watching the telly, but he was holding my hand firmer and firmer. And I couldn’t bear it anymore. I hugged him as strong as I could and he hugged me back. We made it up and we watched some silly film with James Belushi. “Forever and ever” was its title. I was wondering whether this “Forever and ever” was referring to us too? Or this dream’ll fade away too as the feelings’ll fray? Or we’ll be lucky and we’ll be able to deal with each others stupid things? Will always be a point there where we can make it up? I hope that there’ll be one.


	50. Chapter 50

50.

 

Next day I felt myself as if someone’d hit me in the head and no matter what I did, I remained woozy. No coffee or shower could help. I knew I had to go for a walk, maybe the fresh air’ll fix me. Besides I wanted to throw snowballs at Dave in the park. But he was sleeping so sweetly that I had no heart to wake him up. He had a tiring day yesterday. And it’s concert tonight again. I was waiting for the end of the tour. The travelling tired me too. 

I put on my jacket and slid my cell into my pocket then I hit the road. Suddenly I didn’t even know in which city we were now. I felt that the crisp air was good for my mind. Slowly my head started to clear. I don’t know why, but I was sadly thinking about my family. Now Dave and Martin was my family. Just these two human beings were taking care of me. And I’m a stupid jerk doing such things to worry them. All of a sudden I had an unquenchable desire to try and make things right with my sister Cornelia for the last time. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and despite the cold air I put it to my ear. I hoped that she picks it up and she won’t hang up right away seeing my name on the screen. Finally I took over. But it wasn’t Cornelia who answered my call – it was my mother.

It floored me even more when she told me in a not too kind way – avoiding my incomprehension – that I’m trying to call Cornelia in vein, I can see her just on her funeral, if I want. This kick was too much now. I felt my hands shaking and my mouth went dry. I didn’t expect too much from my mother – Cornelia was her all time favourite – but it would have been nice to skip these new painful kicks. But she was merciless. I hung up stunned. I have to go. I have to be there on the funeral. My mind was like a blank page in a book. I didn’t hear or saw anything, just this information was circulating in me and not paying any attention I sat down on a bench in the park near to the hotel.

\---

I was just staring in front of me. Then it had happened, I thought. Cornelia is no more. I can’t speak to her ever again and we can’t make it up. I couldn’t remember clearly how our feud has started, what the cause was. Maybe just the jealousy of the firstborn, fraternal rivalry. Then the surprise – finding me with her husband. I knew I had to go home. Surprisingly I wasn’t crying. I was too stunned. Or just emotionless and tired. I was sitting there staring into nothing for quite a while. I didn’t belong there in my black coat between the big white snowflakes falling down from the grey sky. I haven’t noticed that after a while a familiar figure appeared in one of the hotel’s windows, who spotted me. He picked up his cell from the nightstand and dialled my number. I hung up on David automatically. I didn’t want to speak with anyone. But after a few minutes I slowly realised that he was standing next to me, his hands in his pockets, watching me.

“Why did you hung up? Are you still mad?”

“I go home.”

You should have seen his expression – he reacted as if I scared the shit out of him.

“Please, Mia, don’t go! Don’t leave me! You can’t do this to me! I love you! I’ll try not to be jealous, just don’t go!”

I looked up at him with a serious face. I couldn’t even smile from this misunderstanding.

“I have no intentions of leaving you.”

“But then…” he looked at me clueless and waited for the explanation.

“I have to go home for my sister’s funeral” I looked away with a colourless expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry for your loss” he said and hugged me tightly “When’ll you leave?”

“Tomorrow with the first flight I can catch.”

“Come. Let’s go back to our room” he put his arm around me “I help you. Do you want me to go with you?”

“You want to be there?”

“I want to be on your side in sorrow and joy as well. I love you Mia.”

I just nodded without a word and took his hand. I let him lead me towards the hotel. It was strange, but I was empty. It was a strange day. Poor Kessler won’t be too happy that Dave’ll leave this circus behind between two concerts… But it was his choice. I was glad he wanted to come, cuz I knew that it’ll be very hard for me. And I doubted that my mother’d be too kind to him. At least she’ll see that it wasn’t just about having sex with him, but about loving him.

I haven’t slept too much that night. Principally I was just trying to convince myself that there was no need to go to the bathroom to search for some pills. I was just staring at the ceiling. Martin commiserated too, but I could barely hear him. I was doing everything automatically. I was like a robot. Voiceless.

\---

On the plane I was watching the clouds and asked myself what good it were in those few nights and in that day when Cornelia caught us with her husband. Although my family never loved me, they tolerated me, cuz I was still a member of our family. They always told me that our dad’d left us because of me. He never wanted another child and he expressed this on his own strange way. He’d disappeared for good. Maybe he was dead already – for us on every account. I never wanted to find him and neither did my mom or sister, but they were blaming me. I was a shadow between the two of them. A tolerated and not thrown-out shadow. In some degree they cared for me sometimes. I’ve got everything from second hand since my early childhood, they spent very few money on me, just if it was totally necessary. But at least this helped me to learn that I can count just on myself. I’ve never complained, I locked all the pain inside of me. I still have this habit sometimes. This is why I haven’t told the boys about my med-addiction after my illness.

My thoughts were swirling in my head during the flight and when we were about to land my mind went blank again. I didn’t care that Dave looked at me and stroked me worried from time to time. He was holding my hand and this felt undeniable good despite that I felt myself like a zombie. Will I burst out? Is it just a question of time? And how will it be seeing my mother again? I excited the plane on Dave’s side with worries in my heart and I gave the address to the driver. We arrived soon. Too soon. My heart was beating like mad, I felt dizzy and I was just sitting there – I didn’t dare to leave the car. Dave was worried and asked what my problem was. After a long silence I asked him whether it was okay for me to take a tranquilizer.

“Why? Do you have some by you?”

I nodded ‘yes’. I saw that he didn’t like that, but finally he nodded reluctantly considering my nervousness. My previous insensible emptiness had disappeared and now just the nervous feelings were swirling inside of me. My chest ached so I swallowed the pill greedily, although it was just tranquilizer and not painkiller. I was in fever but in the bad way. For a few minutes I closed my eyes then I took Dave’s offered hand and putting on my black sunglasses I got out of the car, buttoning my coat up.

He pushed the bell. My mother opened the door. She grew old and seemed like a little bitter old lady, who was standing there in an incongruously expensive new black dress. Her eyes were red from crying. We greeted each other guardedly and she invited us in. A few old acquaintances greeted me and said a few consoling words, but the majority was just eying me and sometimes Dave, who was standing next to me in one of his black suits. I knew that most of the people were surprised that I was there at all. They haven’t seen me for years. In my mother’s dark eyes I saw the disapproval – she could barely stop herself from asking what the hell I was doing there. I took Dave’s hand as I bent my head. But I still couldn’t cry. I wanted to break free from the choking atmosphere. Quietly I asked my mother when will we go. She told me that in about an hour the clerk’ll start the send-off. It surprised me cuz our family was never too religious, but I didn’t say a word just nodded. I wondered what my mother’d have said, if I told her that I was dead too and came back and now I’m standing on that man’s side, who lived through this experience too. I’m sure she’d curse me and ask me why I was still alive instead of Cornelia.

Dave pulled me closer and put his arm around my waist – knowing the relationship between my family and me – to show to whom I really belong. He left his other hand in his pocket and he stood the barely hidden glimpses confidently. He looked back firmly into those eyes, whose gazes disturbed him and they looked away immediately. He didn’t say a word and haven’t done anything, but still he protected me from everyone. I nuzzled to him and my tears started to flow, but these were the tears of thankfulness – I was so grateful for this. He bent down and he pulled out a white hanky from his vest’s pocket and wiped away my tears with it, like the illusionist in the hall. I saw my mother’s quick grimace from the corner of my eye before she went out into the kitchen for something. Then it was time to go. I was sitting close to Dave, who was holding my hand. He didn’t hug me, he felt that I didn’t want it. I was just looking straight forward and let the clerk’s words pass me by. This whole thing made me sad beyond words! And I felt it in my bones that something’ll happen. My mother… I knew this side of her well – she won’t stop herself from saying something, which’ll be another kick into my self-respect. The mass was going on and in thought I apologised again to my sister. I hoped that she’d hear it, wherever she was. My remorse was working. Finally it was over and it was terrible to hear the clods hitting the coffin. 

After getting back to my mother’s house we drank to my sister. It was time for us to leave for the airport and I wanted to say goodbye to a few people, but my mom was nowhere to be seen. I was thinking whether it was a good idea to go after her. Finally I’ve left Dave behind and knocked on my mother’s door. I’ve got no response, but I knew that she was in there, cuz I’ve checked every room earlier.

“Mom… mom, I know that you’re in. I just want to say goodbye” I said quietly. I couldn’t hide the sadness in my voice.

No answer. I waited for a few minutes and tried again. I’ve got a ‘leave me alone’. She didn’t want to say goodbye, I understood it. So she was still refusing me. It didn’t matter that she was my mother. Somewhere this hurt like hell, but I couldn’t do anything against it. Without a word I went back to Dave and asked him to go. I waved goodbye to the others and holding his hand firmly I fled from the house, which made me remember so much bad memories and suffering. My feelings stirred up uncontrollably, but I tried to lock them inside of me again. I tried to hold myself together. I didn’t want to freak out in front of Dave, although I knew that he’d have understood that.

\---

I was frozen and ice-cold, just his burning love kept me alive when we’ve finally arrived to the second last gig – there was just one day delay and I was in automatic mode, but I knew that sooner or later I won’t be able to avoid the collapse of my soul. I was in dread of not knowing when that’ll happen.

I wasn’t jittering anymore before the concert. I risk saying that I didn’t care about the big finale at all. Of course I showed my painted grin from the first moment we stepped onto the stage. I didn’t want to disappoint the crowd or the guys. I was swallowing my pain and tears. Sometimes I was dangerously close to lose this ‘automatic mode’. Of course the guys knew that I wasn’t okay. But they had no idea how big the problem was.

It was that bad that I’ve started taking pills again, although my love was taking care of me. Then from compunction I’ve confessed everything to him. Dave closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. Martin blinked at me sympathetically, but he was careful not to let Dave see it. I hated to see that my love felt disappointed because of me again. Lately everything piled up again. I couldn’t watch him as he was shaking his head resignedly. I took my coat and stormed out crying. I’ve started breaking through that wall in my soul. My emotions were weeling up dangerously and I was just running on the icy streets with hot tears on my face, gasping wildly for the cold air.

\---

David didn’t know what to do with me.

“Mia, I take you to rehab!”

“Dave, I won’t go.”

“Sure you will. I’ll force you!”

“How?” I asked darkly.

“I’ll leave you, if you don’t go. I don’t need this. You kill me with this! Mia, you’ll stop it for once and for all, or you can give me your goodbye kiss.”

“You give me an ultimate?” I hissed at him angrily and my hands fisted.

“Yep” he looked at me sternly “I won’t watch the one I love slowly ruining herself! And don’t say that you’ve been taking pills just in occasions! The main point is that you were using them and you lied to me again! I remember that you swore that you won’t do it again” he folded his arms in front of his chest.

“David, I don’t need you to kick into me too. I’m already at the brink of a crack-up!” I jelled as pain hit me hard “My sister…”

“You didn’t even love her!” it slipped out of his mouth “Don’t cover yourself with her death!”

My eyes narrowed “Don’t you dare to talk about it like this! You have no clue!” I hissed again.

“Think about this, I go down to the bar now. I’ll come back after half an hour. I want your decision by that time. Think about it carefully! I hate being this mean Mia, but you can be left alone!” he said, turned around and walked out of the room.

Now I just wanted to choke him with my own to hands! I was running and crawling in the room nervously and angrily, not finding my place. A few times I even kicked the couch, but apart from hurting my leg it was useless. I knew that he was right, but this wasn’t that easy for me! I didn’t want to go to rehab! Like a junkie! Am I one? I bent my head down as I put my hands onto the back of the couch. I’ve heard the door opening.

“It isn’t time yet, is it?” I asked on a flat tone.

“Time for what?” I heard another familiar voice. Martin. I sighed.

“My dear boyfriend just announced that he’ll leave me, if I don’t go to rehab.”

“Who? David?”

“Why? Who else?”

“Uh, he can be very hard, if he bristles up!”

“Yeah, I see it. What should I do now, Martin?” I sighed.

“Do as he says if he is… if we are important to you.”

“Sure you are important to me, it’s just that…” I went silent then stepped to the window “It isn’t easy. I’m so confused now. I don’t know what I want or what I should do. I’m just at the brink of collapse.”

“I think it’ll be very good that the tour’ll end soon” he noted with a big sigh and kindly stroked my arm.

“Yes, it’ll be great” I agreed “I’m sorry Martin, but could you leave me alone now?”

“Sure. No problem. Just think about it” he squeezed my hand reassuringly and left the room. And my brain started working hard.

“Am I a junkie?” I mused on the question quietly.

Even if not in the depths of it, I was surely one somewhere. Maybe I’ll have to do what he’d asked from me. Dave wants it because she cares for me and loves me, I know and if he leaves me, he’ll break from that too. I’ll have to accept his will. I nodded as if agreeing with him. It won’t be easy. But somehow I calmed down. I played with the thought of living healthy again. I think too much things had happened in a too short time. This was my problem. I should fix things in my life and body. The new life-style, the concerts, the singing, the boys, the sex, my nearly-death, the meds, the losing of the baby and now Cornelia had overused me. I hope I’ll be able to wash the filth and the pain out of my system. I’ll be scared, yes, but I’ll be clean again as much as it’s possible. I’ll choose them. A new life. I want a clean start on their sides. I’ll have to take care of Rosie too now. I can’t be selfish always.

David came back and looked at me and I just nuzzled into his arms and started crying. I looked up into his eyes and they were red, which could mean just one thing. His eyes found mine and held them gently there.

“I love you very much, you know it, don’t you?”

“I know. And this is why I’ll do anything you want” I looked back at him “If you want, I go to the rehab. I’m scared, but I’ll go. For you, for our future” I whispered hoarsely “Please, don’t be mad at me! It was too much for me… I feel so weak. But I’m sure that I love you and I’d die without you” I hugged him even tighter.

“You’d die without me and I should send you away, huh? Never, baby. I know what’d strengthen our relationship, but we have to wait for that. Mart, come here. Group hug! I love you both” Dave sniffed and pretended as if we haven’t heard it.

\---

The tour had ended. We were after the last concert. But after it we three came up to our room and we were just laying on the bed, planning our common future. In spirit I was preparing myself for the rehab. I didn’t know how long it’ll last, how long I won’t be able to see Dave, or how often he’ll come to visit me. I suspected that as often as it’ll be possible and Rosie’s programmes will allow it.

“When’ll we move into the new house?” I asked Dave stroking his chest. He was lying between Mart and me. I didn’t expect them to wait for me until I get back from the rehab.

“Dunno, it’ll take some time. The lawyers are still debating over Rosie’s custody, but I have to give in a bit, cuz I want to see Jimmy too. You know I have no rights in his case, but I’m his father too and they are siblings, they love each other. The rehabilitation can last from four to eight weeks. I’ll try to arrange these things during that, okay?”

“Alright. It’s enough to deal first with one problem. Concentrate on the children, I’ll be OK” I nodded. This was more important now.

“Don’t be scared, kitty, I’ll visit you, if you need my company” Martin smiled faintly.

“It’d be great, Marty” I took his hand “Thank you.”

“And meanwhile we start the renovating on the neighbouring estate. I’ve got its papers from David as a pre-Christmas present” he smiled wider onto his other love “Well, what do you say? I’ll bring some catalogues for you and you can help us decide how to furnish the rooms, okay?”

“Superb! I love shopping. Marty, dear Marty! Don’t be so shy! You know that I love you very much too! You’re important to me, Maaaartyyy!” I jumped into his neck and kissed him all over. I was really happy that he’ll be with me.

“Alright, alright!” he laughed and we didn’t care about Dave’s whining when during jumping into Marty’s neck I elbowed into his side.

“Huh, now I’m in the middle” I stated the obvious after a few minutes “When do I have to start the rehab?”

“I’ve already called the institution where I had been back in those days. You’ll start in 10 days time, so I suggest we should have a quick vacation. A week, just the three of us. I take Rosie to her grandma.”

“Okay” I nodded “I think it’d be great. It’ll distract me.”

“And where do you want to go?” Martin asked stroking my tummy lazily, resting his chin on my shoulder like a lazy cat.

“What do you two want?”

“Dave, can we go back to the place where we had been with Martin? It’s a beautiful place and we can be totally alone. No one is there.”

“Spain?” he asked.

“Yep.”

“Why not?” he smiled at his lovers.

“Then I’ll give them a call tomorrow” Marty offered “We can go there right away after you said goodbye to Rosie. But will she be okay? Doesn’t she want to be with you now?”

“She likes being by her grandma, don’t worry. And I love her very much, but I’m overused because of the tour and I’m soooo tired and I was worrying myself to sick because of my love” he added “It’s possible that I’ll sleep for a whole week. Don’t you mind it?”

“Nope, you frontman from the hell, you god!” Martin grinned.

“Rest my love. And I’m sorry” I caressed his face “I’ll change. I’ll be clean for you.”

“I don’t want you to be someone else, I just want you to live at all – this is why I’m doing this. Do you understand this, kitty?”

“Yes. But I’ll change some things in me, in my way of thinking. I’ll be a new person after the rehab. You were one too. Or at any rate it seemed to me” I sighed and smiled faintly “You two will get back that perky girl, whom you’ve fallen in love. I promise. I’ll rest and I’ll be yours again.”

“It’ll be great, sweetie” he pulled me closer and I melted again. Deep inside it hit me hard again how much I love this man next to me – or I should say these two men. But Dave is Dave – the love of my life, I smiled and buried my head under his arm. My hair tickled him and he was laughing loudly. I loved the sound of it.


	51. Chapter 51

51.

 

He really was sleeping a lot in Spain. We were often just sitting with Martin chatting on the terrace, while he was sleeping inside. The drunken lovemakings with Blondie came into my mind in various places in the house. We brushed up a few ones while our panther was sleeping. I was a bit calmer that now there was no need to fly from one city to the other. Although the tension was still inside of me. I was more scared with every passing day as the day was approaching when I had to go into the rehab. But for the time being we were on vacation. And it was good. But it would have been wrong speculating how it’ll be, cuz I could know this just when I was on the rehab. I wouldn’t have thought that once I’d go to there, but that’s life. On one afternoon I asked David how it was for him being there, although I knew that I wasn’t in the exact same situation, cuz he had to climb up from a deeper pit. He told me. I saw on him that it’s still uncomfortable to him speaking about it, but I felt that it helped that he was talking about it. It was easier to prepare myself for the next few weeks. He didn’t hide anything, he told me everything. It was not just once when I had to swallow back the horror I felt and the more he told me the more I appreciated and loved him.

Sometimes we went for a trip together, when our groundhog could open his eyes and we could persuade him to come into the wild with us – although he was quite reluctant. He was so sweet with his grimace on his face as he pushed his sunglasses up on his nose time after time! I smiled a lot on him. I’ve managed to ease up – thanks to my two clowns. Martin was an angel – he constantly pampered me and he was joking around like a little boy – and of course Dave did the same if he was awake… IF! I wouldn’t have thought that he can sleep this much, but I could understand it after all these concerts.

Martin pulled me up by a rapid slope and he literally laughed on Dave seeing his next grimaces. As if nature was so distasteful.

“Laugh, just laugh. You’ll see that you’re skin’ll peel off of your white nose, Blondie” Dave said.

“Sweetheart, my skin turns into bronze. Usually you are the one who burn yourself out” Mart grimaced too “Hey, Mia by this height it’s okay to sunbathe naked. You won’t catch a cold. Do you want to try it? Just rocks are around us here. Come, let’s undress. AND CRABBY CAN COME TO!” he exclaimed over his shoulder to the last member of our triumvirate, who fell behind a bit.

“Martin, are you crazy?” I laughed “You’re totally insane today! What’s this good mood? It was a while ago when I could see you like this!” I hooked on him.

“I just feel good. I feel myself full of energy! So, will you take off your clothes, kitty, or should I undress you?”

Although I thought that I’d take Martin’s euphoria to the lack of oxygen, I had to confess that he was just loose and happy now. He loved life in the way it was now.

“You, Mart, you should undress me and I do the same to you!”

“I think no sunbathing’ll come out of that” Dave snickered as he reached the top, but on the last meters he automatically opened his trousers.

I looked down at his pants, but I just smiled and looked around. It was quite a good area. Rocks, high bushes giving shadows, a few trees and that’s all. No life. It was perfect for us.

“Hmmm… I’ve never done such a thing” I smiled and turned back to Martin, signalling that he could start undressing me.

Slowly, avoiding any haste he began it on a very sensitive way. He mesmerised me totally with his green shining eyes and bright smile. Dave and everything else had disappeared – even my thoughts. Maybe this is why it could happen that David got lost in those eyes as well. I was shaking from anticipation and Mart was just smiling. I saw that he wanted to please me badly. He was sweet and very exciting. Dave reappeared just when he stepped behind me – fully naked – and embraced me from the back. I smiled again and turned my head back so I could kiss him. He savoured my lips slowly and his long fingers were caressing my tummy. Meanwhile I’ve started rolling up Martin’s T-shirt, not giving a damn to his grinning face. I got rid off his other clothes soon. He was standing there on the top of the hill and the wind was ruffling not just with his frizzle. Dave panted into my neck – my bad boy knew that it can finish me off in minutes. I sighed when his fingers from my tummy moved further down, while my dear Marty attacked my lips and my hands started moving on his naked chest.

“You really want to do this here?” I whispered absently.

“Why not? Mart have you ever done it on a top of a hill?”

“Nooo, not yet, but I know that you did. During the shooting of ‘Enjoy the silence’ the make-up assistant wasn’t wiping just your nose!”

“Hey!” Dave growled “It was a long time ago. And I was sick.”

“Aha… and this gave permission to that girl to take care of you, right?” Mart giggled.

“Marty… not in front of Mia.”

“Why not? These dangerous things still exist? Should I pay more attention to the make-up assistants around you?” I scratched his forearm slightly, but warningly.

“No, not at all. I love just you two. I have no mood to carry on with somebody else – you two are more than enough for me.”

“I hope so, Dave” Martin nuzzled to him from behind.

“Hmm, Mia, it’s fucking cold here. Let’s get dressed and go back quickly to the ranch to make love. Can we?” Dave shivered.

“Don’t say that you feel yourself ‘small’, sweetie!” I turned around to face him and squinted down at his groin with a giggle.

Martin started laughing so hard that he had to let Dave go.

“No, I don’t feel small. You know that I’m the chilly type and I can catch a cold easily and then I’ll have to suffer with my vocal cords for weeks and I’ll be hoarse too.”

“I love it when you’re hoarse” I murmured to him.

“But I don’t like it and I don’t miss the steroids either. Well, are you coming?” he jogged us on.

“Alright, alright…” I sighed “So it’s happening again: I’m a part of a foreplay where I have to wait and wait and wait…” I murmured again while putting my clothes on just as the guys did.

“Why? When did you have such an experience?” Martin asked smiling.

“Well, for example, when we’d bitten Dave quite nastily and then I made him take me out for dinner and as a punishment he was eating veeeeery slowly and I nearly melted down from my chair…” I remembered reaching for Martin’s hand.

“Ha-ha, yeah, I remember. Yep, I was playing with you then, but after that in the car…”

“Well yes… ehm…” I smiled and even blushed.

“Hey, hey, kitty! You don’t have to feel ashamed from this! You just loved me and I did the same, didn’t I?”

“Uhm… you were a bit wild, but in the end yes…” I shrugged.

“You’re sweet when you’re blushing” he put his arm around my waist and gave a quick kiss onto my lips, while our little trio headed back into the house.

We walked down the hill and we were chatting about little nothings and from big plans, which could save the world. Finally we had time for each other aside from sex. It wasn’t the only way of communicating anymore. When we reached the house, we didn’t go to the bedroom, but we started cooking from the ingredients we’ve found in the larder. Our second last night was very nice in the house. We were having long-long conversations during dinner and later when we were lying on the comfy couches. The room was swimming in the lights of the candles and the fireplace. We were talking about the future, the past and about everything in general. All three of us were touched by the calm atmosphere and it felt good to rest after the long moths of excitements and problems.

\---

I didn’t say to them – especially not to Dave – that I was in dread of rehab. I knew that it’d be terrible, I felt it. Later when he was standing outside the terrace looking at the stars I went after him and stopped by his side. He knew what I was thinking and he took me into his arms.

“Are you afraid, sweetie?”

“Yes. I’m very afraid” I buried myself deeper into his embrace “Mainly because you won’t be there with me… but… but Marty said that he’ll come often if they let him in” I stroked his chest where I was resting my head as well.

“I’m so sorry that I wouldn’t be able to be with you every day especially in that situation, but see? You have two men in your life who loves you and takes care of you! Do you know how lucky you are?” he caressed me.

“Sure I know, David! I’m so grateful for you two. The tour was great, I’ve learned a lot, we’d found each other, but I must say thank God, it’s over.”

“Yes, I think the same.”

“A lot of things had happened… sometimes… sometimes I feel like drowning. But now… but now I’ll get clean again, David. No matter how afraid I am, no matter that I know it’ll hurt like hell… I’ll be clean for you two. For our future” I looked up at him with unsure eyes “I hope I’ll be able to bear it…”

“I’m sure you’ll be strong enough. I could bear it too.”

“But you’re strong David, and I love this in you. You’re very strong!”

“If you’d know how hard it is for me to keep up this façade! Baby, I’m not stronger than you. People just helped and help me too. For example you with your love. I can bathe in its light, like pigeons in the pool. Do you know how much this means to me?”

I shook ‘no’ with my head, cuz I couldn’t know how much I’ve meant to him. But of course I knew that a lot, but I couldn’t grasp it completely. “I guess you’re holding on me as much as I do hold to you. Or even more?”

“Even more, sweetie… even more!” he hugged me closer to him firmly, nearly choking me with his embrace, scent and the heat of his body, but I didn’t mind it. His attachment made me happy and I knew that no matter what, no one can ever take up His place. Even if our paths parted – cuz we had already more relationships, especially him. If I lived with another man one day, he would never be able to replace Dave.

“You’re my everything on earth and heaven” I whispered to him and kissed along his neck.

“You’re sweet Mia. I love you very much” he whispered. But this whispering – no matter that I’ve heard it a few times already – was deeper. I saw the things in his eyes I was thinking about earlier and a teary smile appeared on my face from this. I followed him with my eyes as he bent down to me and kissed me softly. His kiss was full of burning and worrying emotions.

We deepened our kiss and I gave myself to him completely. It was the first time I’ve managed to do so. I’d been always cautious – always. It was as if I’ve seen myself from the outside as I was doing this and that. I was a stranger not just in front of the world, but in front of myself as well. But Dave changed this. I loved him. I loved him because he taught me how to love and accept myself and this was something I wouldn’t have been able to learn all by myself. I was complete with him, I felt deep inside that I’m a woman next to him, cuz he respected the woman inside of me. And I loved him, cuz he let me love him. He gave himself to me and I felt that he really needed me. I was madly in love with him. And I had to laugh from this, cuz I just realised this, although I knew it all along, but my heart understood it just now.

“What’s so funny, sweetie?” he smiled at me questioningly.

“Just… Nothing” I shrugged.

“Hey! Tell me. You can tell me anything, you know…”

“Yep, I know. And this is it, David. I’ve just realised how madly I’m in love with you” I caressed his face with a smile.

“Why? Haven’t you known it earlier?” he tickled my side kindly.

“Sure I have! But not this clearly! I’ve never before loved anyone like th…” but I couldn’t finish, cuz he desperately pressed his lips against mine. It was unbelievable what was going on here on the terrace and meanwhile Mart was calmly watching the telly inside. He always loved Johnny Cash and he was watching a documentary of him.

\---

Our little trip was soon over and we had to go back. In two days time they’ve escorted me into the institution. They were very kind to me and the atmosphere was good too, but I thought I’d go crazy when they’ve said that in the first two weeks no one can visit me. I was sobbing hard when I said goodbye to my guys – they had to pull my hands off of Dave. He was crying too, Mart escorted him outside. I don’t know how many times he looked back over his shoulder, cuz I couldn’t see from my tears.

Then I’ve got my room and my treatment’s begun. First they sized up how deeply I was addicted to the meds and what was the cause. They mapped my previous illnesses, which caused my addiction and fear from death. Then they made a full check-up and told me what kind of things were lying ahead of me. The result was that my family relationships and the hunger for love caused the lack of my self-confidence. Big deal – I’ve already known this. Dave’d arranged that I’ve got the doctor, who he had back in the 90’s. She seemed hard, but correct. She had to be hard. First they’d changed my meds to less stronger ones and I’ve got a pill which caused distaste for alcohol. I had daily physical exercises with my group and lonely walks where I could think as well.

Then sometimes we had group meetings too, where they made us speak about our problems, so we could see that we weren’t alone and we had to encourage each other. I didn’t like these meetings. I didn’t like showing all my cards in front of strangers, but I did it somehow, cuz I didn’t want to disobey. I just wanted to go home into my guys’ arms! I was waiting for these two horrible weeks to end! I felt often terrible because of my needs and because of the lack of my boys’ presence. My doctor said that my system’d started cleaning up nicely, but a lot of toxins had piled up, so this procedure’ll last for a while. I nodded cuz I came here to heal for them and for myself.

My next question was when exactly I could have visitors. The doctor said that in four days time one of the guys can come in. She asked me which one I want. As an answer I started sobbing bitterly. She nodded in silence and told me that she’ll give a call to both of them. She looked at me sympathetically and I knew that she knew. Maybe Dave’d told her, maybe she just guessed it. I saw kindness and not disgust or indignation in her eyes and from this moment no matter what she asked, I did everything and her words were like the Ten Commandments from the Bible for me – except maybe the “Thou shall not fornicate” part. I was so happy when they let both of them come, cuz I loved them more than anything – although I loved Dave a bit differently, but it didn’t matter! I’ll see both of them! Finally! Again! Just four damned days had to pass in bitter waiting and without sleep.

And when these days’d passed I was waiting for them impatiently. I’ve lost some weight and dark circles were under my eyes, but I felt fresh after the shower. They came cautiously – first I saw just their outlines forming behind the door’s milk-glass then the door’d opened and suddenly they were there with two enormous bouquets of flowers and with tons of chocolates and with other things, but they threw everything onto the table and we fell on each others necks. Dr. Hightower thought she’d check on us later, cuz she wanted to talk to Dave, who was my next-of-kin and companion, but now she left the room and my guys kissed me all over. I felt my tears pouring.

“Oh God, jeez, boys! I’ve missed you two so much!!” I sobbed into Martin’s and Dave’s neck in turns as they were holding me tightly.

“We’ve missed you too, Mia-kitty!”

“Sweetheart!” the love of my life continued Martin’s sentence “Did they treat you well? Are you feeling better? You’re so pale and you’ve lost weight too…” he sputtered. The worry in his eyes moved me.

“Well it’s not easy, that’s for sure. The worst thing is that I can’t sleep. For a long while I had been sleeping just with you two. When can we… jeez… Are you two okay? Your family?”

“You’re our family” they said in unison and our eyes got teary again.

“I’m so sorry, boys, I’m so sorry. But… I’m doing my best… I really do my best to get… to get out of here quickly and be… be with you. Oh god, oh god… I miss your touches like hell! Your scent, the way you’re breathing!” I caressed their faces and necks.

“Then we must do something about this” Dave swallowed his tears and slid his hand onto my butt.

“Uh, boys, is it okay to do it? Isn’t, isn’t it forbidden? I don’t want to cause any problems for Dr. Hightower or to you!”

“It’s okay. Our good doctor wanted to speak with me anyway. I go and find her and tell her that we need an hour without anybody disturbing us. She knows that this calms you down, so I’m sure she won’t mean it. And she knows me anyways… You two talk about something meanwhile or just relax” Dave grinned and walked out of the room.

I laughed for the first time after days – no, after weeks – but I stopped when my eyes met Martin’s green ones. Such worry and love was radiating from them, which I’ve seen a long while from him. And now he felt these emotions because of me and not because of Dave. I had no doubts that this guy has missed me too. Looking down in his tight embrace I’ve got the proof too.

“I could never understand how you two can want a sick and weak woman” I smiled sweetly as I put one hand around his neck, while the other stroked along his face. The smell of his aftershave hit my nose and I felt my groin throb in response immediately. He was wearing my favourite, the one I liked the best on him.

“Should I sing ‘Damaged People’ to you?” he laughed “All three of us had a trip to hell. Come here” he pulled me onto his lap. I faced and straddled him and I had to moan.

“Oh god… this quickly?” I hinted onto the hardness I felt through his jeans.

“Are you kidding? We’ve missed you badly! Don’t tell him, but…”

“But?” I slid my hand onto his belt.

“But sometimes it happened… that when I was making love to him, I saw you” he confessed quietly.

“Jesus! Are you serious?!” I put my hand onto my mouth “This is something Martin, cuz I know how much you love him! More than anything on this world.”

“True, but this doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love you like mad” he started unbuttoning my shirt.

“Then love me now, Martin. I want you two, I want you so much!”

He just smiled, but the burning desire clouded his eyes and he pressed his lips hard against mine, while I felt him unpacking himself and he moaned into my mouth when I took him into my hand and started massaging him. His greediness amazed me, although I didn’t hold back either. I welcomed him with a big moan when he pushed himself up into me, not giving a damn to the rest of my clothes. In the silence of the room his accelerating breaths were like music to my ears as I was sitting in his lap and let him press his face between my breasts. He was panting there raggedly as he sped up his thrusts. I bit down my lip to stop my loud moans. The lines began to blur – I didn’t know where I was anymore, but I knew who was with me and it was an insanely good feeling being loved again.

Dave was playing the fox again as he sneaked in quietly. Unlike us he even locked the door. It’d have been interesting, if someone found our trio in a situation like this! Dave’s face was shining as I looked up and our eyes met. He started slowly undressing. He took his time, like someone preparing for going to bed. He even scratched his naked tummy. I knew that if he yawned jokingly, I’d have fallen off of Mart’s lap from laughing.

But he didn’t do that just eyed our bodies moving with hot passion and unlike his nature he was waiting patiently. This surprised me, but I had no chance to muse on this for too long, cuz Martin bit my breast, which caused a deep moan from me towards the ceiling then I looked at Dave and was getting lost in Martin’s thrusts more and more. I grabbed his shoulders and hold the eye-contact with my dark love behind Curly’s back. Dave was feasting his eyes with my flushed face. For a moment I closed my eyes again when Mart’s hand found my clit and started rubbing it with a crazy pace. And my hungry body didn’t need much more to lift up slightly from his lap. I grabbed his shoulders even tighter and I was flying high in the blinding light of my orgasm under Dave’s vigilant gaze.  
He slowly stepped closer and stopped right behind Mart. He hasn’t touched me, he just embraced Martin’s neck from the back and he was whispering into his ear. Martin was more than happy and he kissed into our singer’s neck.

After calming down a bit I was embracing my blonde guy tightly, burying my sweaty face into his neck and with one hand I pulled Dave to me too. I couldn’t talk just my tears were flowing silently then suddenly everything hit me hard and I sobbed into Martin’s shoulder. I slowly calmed down and they were just caressing me. Dave put my legs around his waist and carried me to the bed.

“This time you want it gently, don’t you, my kitty?”

“Yes, yes…” I whispered hoarsely with red eyes. I stroked his face as he laid me down on the bed and got rid off my remaining clothes. Then he was just caressing me and looked into my eyes. It didn’t matter that I’d been enjoying the last minutes with Martin, as I looked into Dave’s eyes, I knew that I was home, that he knew and understood everything and I was fighting with the lump in my throat again when he finally leant down and kissed me gently, letting me feel his boundless love.

I’ve melted in his arms. I felt completely safe with him – we were one in the fullest sense of the word. I was just looking into his eyes and thought that I’d not bear without him until the next visit. I’ll die. After this I didn’t know whether it was a good idea that he came in too, but if he didn’t then I had died from that. Well, it seems that there was no way I could be happy without him. My silver drops started pouring again just to run into my hair and pillow in the moment when I moaned voicelessly and closed my eyes from his gentle push.

“I’ve missed you” he moaned “Very much. I’ve missed you very much” he buried his face into my neck. I smiled at him and waited for him to continue. It didn’t matter what he said, I just wanted to hear his voice. But of course the best thing was when he told me that he loved me. For a few moments he couldn’t speak, he just panted into my neck from the feeling that I let him into my body again, that we could be one from the slow moves of his hips. Time seemed to stop as he was breathing raggedly and I was embracing him, sighing from the beautiful pleasure, from his scent and presence. I felt my haggard heart fluttering. It was flying like the bird who escapes its cage, flying in the room. Although it’s not completely free yet, but it’s closer to freedom with a step as it looks out the closed window into the sunlight. I was closer to my freedom as well, I just had to wait a few more weeks to open the window, which leads to our common future.

Sadly those three hours we could spend together had passed very quickly and I was sitting on my bed alone, again, with a book on my lap, but I was just daydreaming. At least my tears’d dried up. Dr. Hightower’d left a few minutes ago – I knew that she checked my condition and emotions. But she had nothing to worry about, I didn’t want to do anything stupid. Still feeling my boys’ scent on my body I was sitting there, swinging my legs as I was watching the sunlit garden through the half-opened window and I was daydreaming about our future again. I imagined that after getting out of this place – which, despite anything, still depressed me – what things we will do.

I knew from Dave that they were still litigating. Jennifer was a stubborn in some questions, so Dave’d not have too much time to visit, but Martin promised again that he’ll come and I can really help with the renewal, if they let him visit. But because I was a good girl and did everything to leave this place as soon as possible, I had good chances for that. The main point was that I didn’t want to be alone.

My doctor new that there was just one thing I feared the most: myself. The long hours with my psychiatrist seemed to help putting things into the right places. I’ve started getting rid off my strong complexes concerning my family and I felt less guilty as well. I wasn’t really missing the meds, but at nights I nearly died for some Gin-tonic. I became restless and started crawling in my room. My hands weren’t shaking and I stayed calm, but I was very tense cuz I wanted to drink. I called Dr. Hightower in and told her this. She nodded and gave me an injection and I fell asleep soon. This was the first night after a long time which I could sleep through.


	52. Chapter 52

52.

 

The days had passed with reading and compulsory exercises. Sometimes the desire to drink hit me, but for my greatest relief I didn’t want to take meds anymore. I’ve spoken to my doctor and she said looking at my papers that soon she’ll think of releasing me. I was very happy to hear this. Then she announced that next day I’ll have a visitor – Martin. She thought it was a good opportunity to distract me with gleaning catalogues and stuff. But I couldn’t get anywhere with choosing materials for the curtains and furniture without actually seeing them in person. I could hardly wait for the time when they could let me go at least for a visit, cuz Mart’d promised that he’d take me to our new home. He moved here from LA and he was about to sell his house. Now he lived by Dave for a while. I could imagine what they were doing alone…

I really had to hold myself back so that they’d let me go with a nurse in plain clothes. I felt myself like a bad girl, whom they still had to monitor for safety’s sake. This cramped me, but I could deal with it. It was like for Dave during the tours – every step of his was followed – the difference was just that they wanted to protect him from his fans, not from himself.

Finally we stepped with my blonde guy into a furniture shop hand in hand. It was a divine feeling to get out of the institution. My eyes were drinking in every little detail of the supply.

“What kind of style do you want to follow?” I asked Martin.

“Mainly an elegant style. Something comfy and practical” he shrugged with a little smile in the corner of his lips.

“I’d choose warm colours on every account, although I like dark ones too. But as I saw on the pictures the former ones came into my mind right away.”

“Our little warm family-nest, huh?” he whispered playfully into my ear, which made me smile from the bottom of my heart.

I liked the sienna red and yellow. Thinking about these two colours we’ve started selecting. Martin was playing around and laid down on every bed and turned to me with a smug grin when he found the king-sized bed with iron-bars “So I can tie you up to them” he whispered into my ear.

“Or I you two” I whispered back.

He called the assistant right away and ordered two from this type. The guy was just staring at us, but had no clue. But it was okay that way and we walked into the neighbouring dry goods store to choose materials for curtains and stuff. Blondie was charming. He had all his attention on me. His concern felt really good and I tried to use every minute with him to the full.

“Thick drapery for our lazy groundhog and for my blowzy lion…” I noted stroking along a nice coloured material.

“And for our playful kitty” he winked, but pointed at another one, which he liked better. I let him choose that.

Then the nurse said looking at his watch that it was time for us to go. My heart nearly broke and we were embracing each other for long minutes, sharing a few abrupt kisses. Then Marty watched me as I’ve got into the car with the guy and he was waving to me until he’d disappeared from view.

I was a bit sad, but contented too. I’ve noticed my improving too – everything seemed easier now. Dave called every day. When I saw Mart disappear by the corner, I didn’t start to cry. I was waiting for the near reunion, which finally came on a sunny, but windy day…

\---

Finally I was out. They said I was healthy again and I felt like that too. Of course I couldn’t dish Dave, he saw that the rehab had worn me out mentally and physically as well, but now we didn’t care, we just flew into each others’ arms and we didn’t want to let the other go for a long while. He came alone. First I didn’t understand why, but then he explained that Mart was dealing with some important stuff in the house, we’ll meet him later there.

“Jeez, David, my love! I’ve missed you beyond words…” I whispered into his ear, embracing his neck tightly “Dave, what’s with the house?”

“Come sweetie, I take you home. To home, to us” he said and his face was shining as he opened the car’s door for me. He was talking and humming during our whole trip, drumming the beat on the wheel with his long fingers.

And I was just staring at him, drinking in his sight. I couldn’t believe that finally I was really free and the nightmare was over. He smiled at me constantly and when the lamp turned to red he leant to me and kissed me tenderly. And I was melting. I was very curious about our new home and I wanted to meet Curly as well. I was wondering how many things had already materialised from our plans.

It turned out that a lot. Both their styles were clearly visible on the house. It was simply wonderful, roomy, airy and bright. I loved it. Dave took my hand and led me to the master bedroom – cuz we all had our own little kingdoms too.

“This is incredible!” I exclaimed with my jaw on the floor as I turned around. Like an eager child I ran to everything and stroked them, sat down, opened or looked out of them. “I really love it!” I smiled at Dave from the bottom of my heart and kicked off my shoes and jumped onto the huge bed with the canopy. I’ve started jumping, cuz I was sooo happy! I felt so relieved like a child. The captivity was over, the window was open and the bird found its way back to home.

With one of his shoulders Dave leant against the doorframe and folded his arms in front of his chest, watching me with a smile. Suddenly I’ve stopped jumping around, cuz the green pair of eyes behind Dave’s shoulder distracted me. Dave stepped aside and Mart tried to hand over a huge bunch of flowers to me, but he stumbled in the carpet and dropped them. Suddenly the room was covered with camellia and bay tree – it was as if it started snowing in big flakes.

“Crap!” Martin murmured under his nose, but I hushed him.

“Shush! They’re beautiful!” I jumped off of the bed and helped him collecting the flowers. After they landed in a vase, I hugged Curly firmly and smiled at him gratefully “Thank you guys! It’s so nice of you!”

“This is the least we can do for you” Martin smiled at me. He rarely smiled although he had a beautiful smile – I often got lost in them. I quickly kissed him then danced out of his reach with a giggle. I playfully grabbed one of the bed’s pillars as I made a half-arc around it and faced the boys again.

“And now?”

“Well, I think Mart made something very unusual thing for us” Dave grinned.

“What, Mart? What did you made?”

“The situation is that I tired to make a nice lunch, but don’t except wonders. Dave set the table and made the decorations” he giggled.

“What? It’s not a big deal that I’ve put the dessert fork onto the wrong place! I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. You should rather tell us what did you cook – it had a nice smell.”

“French onion-soup and buffalo hot wings with smashed potatoes and some sauce.”

“Is there any dessert?” I asked.

“Yep” he grinned “Dave what do you think why did I gave you the dessert forks? Yep, we’ll have fruits with vanilla custard” our chef straightened himself proudly.

“Wow! They all sound fabulous!” I laughed “I’m really proud of you two!” I jumped into their arms and looked at them in turns with my shining eyes.

“Wait until you have to actually eat them!” Martin laughed “You haven’t tasted them yet. I hope they turned out better than the omelette I’ve made you for breakfast in Spain!” he touched my nose with the tip of his index-finger.

“I liked that too. Everything I got from you means a lot to me – no matter that it’s just a peck or some flowers” I shrugged “Hey, let’s go! I have to gain my ‘race-weight’ back” I winked “And I’m staaarving!” I took their hands and led them to the dining room.

And it tasted very good. I wasn’t a master chef, but all of us liked Martin’s dishes. We had a long lunch with a nice conversation. I asked Mart what was up with his house. He pointed out of the window and I could see workers everywhere. He hired a restaurateur too, cuz he didn’t want to pull the building down. The house was built more than a hundred years ago and it was beautiful. And although it was ruinous at some places, it had no problems with its statics and the recovery went on without a problem.

“They say it’ll be finished in 2-3 months time. But maybe sooner” he explained, waving with his fork.

“Until then he’ll be around here” Dave smiled and leant over his dessert again.

Mart was just smiling shyly when Dave praised the fruit bowl and he blushed a bit as well. And I was just watching them and I loved every single moment with them.

“By the way we took your stuff into your room, but I didn’t put everything away” Dave said after swallowing some fruit.

“Okay, I’ll deal with it later… or tomorrow.”

“And kitty… I want you to move all your necessary stuffs here from Hungary.”

I gulped. It was very serious now. He – they – really wanted me on the long-term and I was moved from this as I gave him a smile.

“Alright David, I’ll talk to my friends at home and… are you sure you want me to sell off everything back there, to sell my flat? What’s if you get tired of me and you decide you don’t want me anymore?”

“That’s not possible. I’ve made this mistake with one single woman, who loved me. The others… they’d left me. I loved all of them Mia” he bent his head down a bit and went on on a lower tone “I ask you to do this exactly because this way you won’t be able to run back there after the first quarrel, cuz as I know myself, I know that surely there’ll be such things. But you have to know that I love you no matter what I say or in which situation we’re gonna be in.”

I looked at him moved and with a smile. Their words felt good. I took one of his hands, which were resting on the table and looked into his eyes “I love you too, no matter what I’ll say or do. So we agree on this… I can still run into a hotel in that case” I winked.

“You!” he growled.

“What?” I laughed and Martin joined me seeing David’s expression, who murmured something under his nose. “I go and call my friends right away” I jumped up, cuz I was already done with my lunch. I leant down to Mart and planted a kiss onto his mouth “Thank you for this superb lunch! It was very yummy!”

“I’m glad” he nodded with a smile.

I stepped to one of the high French windows and examined the wonderful garden with my cell by my ear. After a long explanation in Hungarian I’ve arranged things with my friend, who took care of my flat. I smiled again when I felt Dave’s arms sneaking around me from the back and had to giggle when he kissed into my neck.

Miracles, real miracles do happen even if we don’t believe in them – they happen every day. With me, with Dave, with Mart, with you, with everyone. I wouldn’t have thought and now… Dave and Mart were here with me, for me. We lived through rough times, but maybe now better ones will come. We can’t know how long the break in the clouds’ll last, but when I look at them they move something deep inside of me. No, I didn’t believe in love, but it’d found us at the end. It was a blessed feeling. And maybe it can happen later that another Gahan or Gore will come to this world.

\---

After a few minutes of being happy with each other I pulled Dave with me into the master bedroom. Meanwhile Martin announced that he had an important phone call and must go check on the workers. I saw in his eyes – while pulling back from our kiss – that he knew: we won’t get lost without him. I winked at Curly then disappeared with my other darling, who was holding my hand firmly.

But instead of leaping on each other immediately, I just pulled him with me onto the bed and we nuzzled to each other. For a few minutes we didn’t do anything else just let the other’s scent and warmth to our senses then I quietly asked: “What’s the situation around your divorce?”

“Well, it’s practically over. Her lawyer wants to change things around the division of the possessions, but he can’t do much, cuz she has an own income and private means.”

“Which is from you.”

“Which is from me. But I don’t grudge it from her, I see it like charity – some goes, the rest stays.”

“I see” I stroked his chest “When’ll you bring Rosie here from your mum?”

“She had been here for a few days, but before I bring her back, I want you to get used to the new place. I know that it isn’t easy to come back to real life after rehab. And… are you alright? Is everything okay now?”

“Yes, I think. I’ve changed. I’m clean and it’s a good feeling” I smiled into his eyes “It wasn’t that bad at all, but I’ve missed you two very much.”

“Now we’ll relax – we deserve it. This tour was long. I swear I won’t do anything!”

“Aha… you’re exactly that kind of guy…”

“I’m serious. I’m tired and a lot of things had happened – for example I have a new beautiful woman in my life and we love each other with her.”

“A ‘new woman’, hah!” I laughed and just love was visible in my eyes “Just like a shopping-list: old lover reclaimed, tour finished, new house, new woman…” I tickled him. He had to laugh and tried to pin my hands down. We’ve started wrestling playfully, but of course he won. I was lying under him panting and giggling as I looked up at him.

“No, it’s much more than that. You’re more than that” he bent down and kissed me tenderly. I slid my hands onto his face and got lost in the whirlwind of my emotions.

“David” I sighed and as I looked into his eyes, I asked myself how many times I could have sighed his name – and how many times could have other people done it? If we really could build bridges from sighs, I guess there wouldn’t be any need for ferries.

“What do you want, my little kitty?” he nuzzled closer and pressed his hard body against mine. He was deadly sure in my answer. A faint sigh left my mouth as I felt his wandering hand on my body.

“I think your nuzzling gave you the answer to your question” I grabbed his fine ass with both of my hands “Hmmm… I’ve missed you very-very much!” I led his hand right under my panties and bit down my lip as I bent my head backwards.

“Hmmm… I feel it, kitty… you’re so nice warm and wet…” he whispered hoarsely, kissing along my neck, while his long fingers were lazily stroking along my pussy under the thin material. I quickly helped giving him more space to move with removing my pants.

There was no need for words – I saw in his eyes that he wanted me as well. Madly. He’d missed me. This brought a smile onto my face while he rolled me onto my back and was already sucking onto my naked breasts. I knew well that his tongue’d take a trip down between my legs and I couldn’t wait for that, my whole body was shaking in anticipation. He surprised me when his lips didn’t slide down there. He kneeled up and after getting rid off his T-shirt he grabbed one of my legs. I laughed, cuz he tickled me, but then my giggle faded away, when he pulled down my trousers and panties completely and lifted my leg again. He kissed my big toe then he gently took it into his mouth and started sucking on it, while his fingers were sliding on my leg. It was insanely exciting as he was holding the eye-contact.

“David, honey, what’re you doing?”

“Just showing my love.”

“Yes, but this, this, this…”

“Oops, I know what you will get to your b-day, baby” he grinned “A synonym dictionary. Your vocabulary needs expansion.”

“You’re mean!” I moaned and watched as he went on sucking my toe. Then he slowly licked along my foot and ankle and he gave countless kisses onto my shin-bone, knee and finally onto my thighs. By this time I was panting impatiently. “Tell me you don’t want to repeat this on my other leg!”

“Should I?” he grinned evilly and grabbed my other ankle.

“No! You should rather… rather… rather…”

“Hey baby, you really have problems with talking…”

“David!”

“Alright, alright, I get it!” and without any warning he pulled my wet folds apart with his fingers and he started licking me wildly. I screamed from the long-awaited pleasure then he couldn’t bear it anymore and penetrated me passionately.

It felt so good what Dave was doing! I knew every single move of his and he knew how I liked it. He started accelerating his speed with a smile until I quietly screamed after every hard thrust. The pleasure was nearly more than I could bear. Suddenly he stopped and showered me with his kisses. Then without any warning now he slid back into me much harder.

“Oh jeez, that’s it!!” I moaned “More!! Ah… how I’ve missed this!” I dug my nails into his shoulders.

“I know… kitty, I’ve missed it too!” he panted and growled and groaned in such a way that I thought I’d come just from that! It didn’t take long for our sweaty bodies to shake from joy as we screamed each others’ name.

\---

Dave slowly got up from my side and scratching his tummy he was crawling naked in the room until he found his cell. He called Mart asking when he’ll get back, but he said that he has a lot to do and can’t tell it. Dave yawned and stretched and asked me on his way to the bathroom if I had any mood to go somewhere.

“Sure. Where do you want to go?” I asked still resting on the bed then followed him into the beautiful bathroom.

“Checking out the neighbourhood? For a walk? Or shall we go to the cinema? It doesn’t matter, I just want to go somewhere. You fill me up with energy, kitty” he smiled at me and gave a kiss into my neck again as I stepped next to him and he started the shower.

“Same here! I’m full of energy too and I feel healthy!” I clapped and checked my naked body in the mirror “I just have to put up some weight” I shrugged then looked at my smiling love, who adjusted the water to the right temperature.

“We’ll deal with that soon too” he winked “We’ll cook yummy things and we’ll eat and make love a lot” he took my hand and pulled me under the water. I sighed.

“Hmmm… this feels great” I smiled at him.

“Uh-uh and you are tasty” he put a kiss onto my lips.

“Hey! I’ve got it!”

“What?” he looked at me questioningly.

“Where we should go!”

“And?” he poured some shower-gel into his palm and started dissolving it on my body. I made it heavier for him, cuz my arms were around his neck, but he solved it somehow.

“Are there any playgrounds around?” I smiled at him with a playful look.

“Playground?”

“Yep. We take a walk and search for a playground. I want to swing!”

Dave laughed then pulled me tightly against his body. “I think you’ll make a good stepmother for Rosie. You’re youthful and giddy!”

“Yep! And full of energy again! David, thank you for getting me to the rehab. I know that I was just a shadow of myself” I smiled with a more serious expression and I closed my eyes for a moment when his hands stroked along my tattoo.

“I did it for this. For your love” he slid his fingers onto the cat “To get that cheerful girl back, whom we got know.”

“Well… now I’m back and I’m ready for our future. I see the beauty in it again” I caressed his face.

“That’s good, that’s very good. We too” he noted and leant down for a kiss.

\---

Like a giddy kid I’ve started running towards the playground when we spotted it after a long walk and because it was deserted, I headed for the swings right away.

“Do you like swinging?” I giggled at him.

“Yep. I used to go to the nearby playground with Rosie a lot. And I liked swinging as a puppy as well. We always raced which one of us could go higher” he sat into the next swing, which was a bit tight for him, but he started swinging right away. I joined him and rose higher and higher, screaming. The hidden children in us were ramping and felt free!

We were laughing and laughing until air became thin for us. We chased each other and sat up onto a rail. We had noting to do now. We had time. We had all the time in the world. First we were talking, sitting on that rail, hugging each other and then we were watching people passing by, trying to guess in turns which kind of life they could have.

We knew without words how good it was being with each other. This little program made me happy. I felt myself free. My soul was flying high and my blood was running in my veins in a quick and refreshing way. I felt happy for myself as I nuzzled to Dave, who embraced me and planted a kiss onto my forehead. Then we were just sitting there watching the beautiful sunset, which bathed us in red and gold colours. It was a real relief. 

His phone rang – it was Curly. He asked whether we wanted to go out for dinner and should he reserve a table somewhere. Dave looked at me questioningly.

“Sure! I’m starving here!” I winked and after a quick peck onto his mouth I jumped off the rail and crouched next to the sand box while Dave was chatting with Blondie.

“It’s arranged” he stepped next to me “What’re you doing?”

“This!” I stood up and now he could see what I’ve written into the sand. He smiled from the bottom of his heart.

“I love you too!” he closed me into his arms and after another gentle kiss he took my hand “Come, Mart’s waiting for us. Let’s kill that hunger of yours!” and he pulled me along and I followed him happily.


	53. Chapter 53

53.

 

Note: After nearly one year of writing this fanfiction we present you the last chapter of The Sweetest Perfection. I must tell that at the end Mauka moved me very much and every time I read the last paragraph of this chapter, my eyes get teary. Thank you my dear for sticking by during this long time and story. Thank you for staying up with me all night long and for the valuable minutes! It was a wonderful experience! Useless-girl

We hit the road, walking hand in hand. Mart was waiting at home and he was very nervous – partly because he was hungry too, partly because following my example he tried to minimize drinking and this made him tense.  
We went into a not so far elegant restaurant, where I put my hand onto Mart’s shaking one, which was resting on the table, trying to calm him down a bit. I knew that sometimes touches helped him. And it worked – we were waiting for the food to arrive calmer.

During dinner they told me quietly about everything they’d been doing while I was gone and they tactfully avoided speaking about the rehab – not that it would have bothered me. I felt like a new person and I was ready for life and love. I was full of energy. Maybe I was shining too from their presence and I was just listening and listening to their voices and thanked to god again. A movie came into my mind, where the main character was David too. David Duchovny. It was an excitingly erotic piece with suppressed emotions. “Julia’s two lovers”. Well yes, there was a similar scene there too. Sometimes I still felt that this wasn’t my life, that these things were happening to someone else.

But they were talking to me, they embraced me – paying full attention – and I could see clearly that I’d end up on the bed with my two bed-acrobats loving me in the same time, taking me higher and higher, until we fall asleep in one pile from exhaustion and emotions.

It was so unreal as I looked onto my beauty, who – instead of wildness – was smiling gently, paying attention to his friend, nodding: Dave was like the statue of interest. Then he tried to stress his words with waving his fork. Mart flashed a kind smile at him and put his hand onto Dave’s wrist. He stopped sawing in the air and put the fork down onto the edge of his plate guiltily. Mart nearly melted from the sight as the other man’s eyes fell onto the table.

I found them very sweet. Like teenagers in love. Dave was confused and he blushed too. Just the two of them knew what this was all about, but it didn’t disturb me. We had some moments with Dave – and even with Mart – which just the two of us could understand. And it was good this way.

\---

It was so good to live like anyone else! Dave was always in the studio. Mart was supervising the building operations and I, I… oh god, nausea came upon me again. I left my laptop on the coffee table and ran into the bathroom to throw up my breakfast. I’ve got exasperated. I didn’t want to be sick again, I didn’t want the hypothetical pain to return. I wanted to be healthy for them and for myself. It wasn’t a coincidence that I’ve changed my lifestyle since I’ve got out of the rehab a few months ago. One thing was that Rosie moved in with us and I’ve been cooking a lot since then and I avoided alcohol completely.

I waited until the nausea was gone and washed my teeth. There was no need for the boys – especially for Dave – to know that sometimes I still felt sick a bit. I staggered out dead pale from the bathroom – luckily Dave wasn’t in the dining room, he would have notice it right away. Just Rosie asked what the problem was, but I quickly calmed her. In the afternoon I jumped into the car and bought a pregnancy test. I was waiting for the results impatiently, my heart throbbing hard in my chest…

I felt a lump in my throat and felt tears welling up in my eyes, blurring my vision as I sat down onto the edge of the tub, holding the test in my head. It was positive. An unbelieving smile crawled onto my face and I blushed hard as the blood was pounding in my ear. Is this really possible? Can I be this lucky? After… after my miscarriage I can have another chance? I could hardly swallow and I’ve started crying silently from happiness. But before I could start thinking about how to tell the news to the boys, I had to be sure that the test wasn’t wrong…

For a few minutes I tried to calm down, but my eyes were shining madly from happiness. I washed my face with cold water then caressed my taut tummy carefully. I tried not to empathise to this too much, so I rather walked out of the bathroom and asked Dave to watch over Rosie, cuz I had to get some things from the shop. I didn’t want him to know I was going to see my gynaecologist, who – after about one and a half hour – confirmed the fact: I was pregnant.

I was beyond happy, but I tried to hold myself back. I set the table for dinner in a special way that night – I’ve put a little envelope to everyone’s plate. It contained an ultrasound photo of the embryo, which seemed to wave and wrote under the picture: “Hello, I’m coming! Signed: Baby”.

I was damned curious and excited about how they’ll react. Although I didn’t know who the father could be, but this didn’t really matter now, just the fact that I was very happy. Sitting by the table I was stroking my tummy unnoticeably with one hand and knew that my eyes were shining happily. During cooking even Dave asked me - when he came out of the studio for a coke – what was with me, cuz I was smiling constantly. I dismounted him with an “I have a good day” and after a kiss I shooed him back into the studio. And now I was waiting for them to open the envelopes. I was more than nervous, cuz I didn’t know how they’ll take the news.

Well, they were shocked. Both of my cats new that I wasn’t kidding, they saw my happiness. They were just staring and staring at the picture in his hands then Dave looked up and asked: “How old is the baby?”

“My doctor said that it’s six weeks old. What do you say?” I smiled.

They boys were very-very confused, cuz none of them could embrace me as if I was his wife, telling me “Sweetie!”. And Rosie was there too. Finally they shrugged and laughed at each other – Rosie didn’t have to know about everything. They jumped up – Dave’s chair even hit the ground. They took me into his arms and run along the table with me. Rosie liked it and giggled.

“And then this means that I’ll have a little sister or brother?! That’s so cool!” Rosie exclaimed and ran to me and hugged me.

“Exactly that” I smiled down at her and stroked her hair “Later you can teach her or him how to play.”

She just laughed and I saw that Dave’s eyes softened as he watched us. Then Wanda – Rosie’s nanny - appeared. We asked her to stay with the little girl for a while, until everything calms down a bit and Stella Rosie liked her a lot anyway. The nanny took her to bed and we were left alone in the dining room. In the silence I looked from one guy to the other.

“Do you have any idea who the father can be?”

“No, Mart. I’ve tried to guess it by its age, but lately all three of us made love with each other, so I have no idea. One thing is sure” I laughed “you’re the daddies!” I grinned. I saw Dave turning from lover to worrying dad. He put one arm around my waist and the other slid onto my tummy and he asked every kind of things. Mart was holding my other hand.  
“And guys, what do you want? A little boy or a girl?”

“It doesn’t matter!” they said in the same moment and I laughed.

“But it really doesn’t matter” Mart went on “The most important thing is that it should be healthy.”

“Yep. We’ll love it anyway, its sex doesn’t matter” Dave winked, but I saw behind his easy behaviour that he was deeply moved from the chance of being a daddy again. As I looked over at Curly I saw that he was moved as well. Oh god, how I loved them!

“And now that I’m clean, it’ll be healthy” I wiped away a teardrop, thinking of my lost baby “You don’t even know how much this thing means to me” I sniffled and smiled. Mart offered a hanky “I really hope that there’ll be no problem around my pregnancy. I was afraid a bit, but I’m happy that things turned out this way” I looked at them “Oh god, it’s so good that it has such great dads!” I sighed and they started snickering.

“This… Mia, this, this…” Mart moaned.

“… sounds bloody stupid…” Dave ended his sentence.

“But that’s the truth!” I hugged both of them and gave a peck onto their faces “Seriously. I love you very much and I couldn’t have wished for a better family for the baby” I smiled.

\---

Months passed by and my tummy was growing and growing. Aside of the nausea at the beginning and some discomfort, I had no problems. We calmed down in bed, they loved me gently and one by one. Mart’s house was ready, but he rarely went there to sleep, we stayed together, like puppies in the kennel, cuddling together. We often watched telly in the master bedroom, all three of us lying on the big bed. On those nights one of them – or both of them – was caressing my belly and I smiled warmly or just slept in his arms. I was the happiest woman in the world. I’d have never thought that from that crazy day I – we – will get here…

On another night like that I sighed. I’ve been feeling weird all day long. Then I cried out and winced from the pain. I still had three weeks until the big date. I was scared and called out David’s name, who – peeking into the room and seeing my painful expression – jumped forward immediately.

“What’s the problem?” he ran to the bed.

“My belly – it hurts like hell!” I pressed my eyes shut.

“But you still have…”

“Yes I know!” I grabbed his hand painfully “Please, take me to… the hospital!” I moaned from another strong stitch.

“Right away, okay, okay, I speak with Mart and Rosie. Do you want me to pack some things for you, kitty?”

“It’s done, just hurry, cuz, jeez!”

I’ve never seen him this quick, but I hadn’t got much time to watch him, cuz another stitch came and I barely could stand up, but somehow I’ve managed with Martin’s help.

“Where’s Dave?” I moaned, while Martin quickly wiped off the sweat from my forehead and led me carefully towards the door.

“He brings the care, don’t worry. Everything’ll be fine.”

“How do you know?” I asked desperately, cuz it hurt like hell “Martin, I’m scared that something’s wrong!”

“Relax, relax! I think that it’s probably just that Dave’s the dad” he tried to joke “Congratulations to the next hyperactive member of the family!”

I smiled faintly, but just very faintly. I was really scared. Then they helped me into the car. Martin sat behind the wheel and Dave sat next to me on the backseat. We left Rosie with Wanda. They boys told them that they’ll give a call when they can come to the hospital to see the baby. None of us knew whether it’d be a boy or a girl – just the doctor new. We wanted a surprise. And now this surprise was giving me hard pain. We were maybe half-way from the hospital when I felt wetness between my legs.

“Dave… the amniotic fluid!” I pressed through my teeth.

“Uh, baby, then this is it! Jeeeez, we’ll soon have a baby!” he grinned.

“Oh yes, but I have to press it out of me!” I moaned.

“Sorry, sweetie!” he looked at me with his big puppy eyes, but now this couldn’t move me too much. The next pain came and I had to cry out loud again.

“This fucking hurts!! Why does it want to come out this quickly? Mart… are we far from the hospital?!”

“Keep it easy, Mia, we’re almost there.”

“Couldn’t we do it now??” I grabbed Dave’s hand again and gave him a bone-cracking squeeze.

“Now? What now?” he asked.

“Getting there!!” I pressed through my teeth with difficulty.

“We’re here!” Mart stopped the car.

“Thank God!” I sighed then I don’t really know how, but we got into the hospital and my doctor appeared.

He examined me and told me happily that “Now we’ll bear a child, okay?”

Okay or not – I’ve started doubting this – I had to do it. He took us up into a room and asked which one of them was the lucky father. We shared a look behind his back. I had to say something – Dave, Dave was my pair.

“Alright than he can come in for the labour too to help you Mia. You’re coming in, right?” he turned to the dead pale Dave.

“Well uhm…”

“Sure you come!” I looked at him vigorously and squeezed his hand again then I sent an apologizing look toward Martin, who just gave me a lop-sided smile and shrugged. I saw that somewhere it hurt him, but they always let just one father in!

“Well, doc, it seems that someone had decided it without me” Dave smiled at him faintly.

“Great! Then the nurse’ll explain what you’ll have to do. Meanwhile we prepare the missy here.”

“Will it hurt badly?” I asked unsure.

“Well every labour is different, but you Mia have already dilated to four and a half finger. The baby comes like an express train. Just 5-10 minutes and you’ll want to push. I think you’ll have to wait just one or two hours and the baby’ll arrive. Not bad for the first labour” he smiled reassuringly.

“Cool. Just get over with this already” I murmured and put my head back onto the pillow then I tried not to yell too loud from the next ache.

“A few minutes and we go to the labour room” the doc squeezed my shoulder reassuringly then he hurried out of the room to arrange some things and I was alone with the guys again.

When I asked some water from the nurse, she nodded ‘no’ with her head and gave me an infusion. They laid me down onto the labour bed and when my doctor came back he examined me again. The results were very good and in the silence we heard just the baby’s quick heartbeats on the monitor. Then the pain came more often and I thought I’d die as I was squeezing Dave’s hand, who gallantly tried to encourage me.

Now they were holding me firmly and my doc asked me to pay attention on the right breathing technique and the pushing. I thought I’d burst. I’ve lost connection to the outside world and I was listening inwards on my baby, whom I was giving birth and asked my muscles to let this little life out. Then with a loud smack – like the cork comes out of the bottle – our beautiful son has arrived.

Dave and I were crying from relief as they put the baby on my chest. He didn’t cry or whimpered, he was just moving a bit in the lamp’s dim light and pretended that he could see us. He was beautiful. Perfect. The most beautiful baby-boy in the world! And one of them – no, both of them – made me a mother! It didn’t matter who was the father, we just melted from this sight! It was beautiful! And I was just crying from happiness and from the proud look in Dave’s eyes.

As I was stroking our little son – who got the Matthew Martin name – I had no doubt who his father was. A little Gahan was moving on my chest. But I asked David to ask for the right documents from the nurse and tell her that the child’s grandfather sticks to the test, because of the heritage. The nurse just nodded and did what she had to do and assured us that we will know the results very soon. I nodded and after they took my baby away to wash him down and other stuff, they took me into another room too. Now I was more presentable, although my whole body was aching like hell, I was happy and asked David to call Martin in too. The nurse let us alone with my son. This was the very first time in our lives when we could be really alone as I was waiting for the boys.

He had dark hair and pouting mouth and he had dark-blue eyes, like every newborn. Within three weeks it’ll turn out which colour his eyes’ll be. Somehow his features reminded me totally on David. I was curious about the DNA results, but inside I was somehow very sure that Dave was his father. For the time being he seemed like a calm baby, he didn’t cry as he was panting on my chest, resting after the labour. He was so sweet with his little hands, small nose and mouth and eyes, which were blinking sleepily! I just realised after minutes that the guys were standing in the door, mesmerised.

“Martin!” I reached towards him with my right hand while my left was holding the small bundle carefully to my chest.

“Can I take a look?” he asked quietly.

“Sure!” and I let him take the baby into his arms.

“Hi there, big guy! Dave, ehmm, I guess I know who his father is” he laughed “Hi little Dave! Did you choose a name for him?”

“His name is Matthew Martin.”

“Really?” he looked at me, carefully holding the baby.

“Yes Martin” I nodded.

“Be… because of me?” his voice failed him. He was moved.

“Sure! Cuz you are his other daddy!” I smiled at him with a tired smile.

“Thank you, thank you! So he’ll have two dads in the end?”

“Sure Mart! We need the test just because of his last name.”

“The funniest thing’d be, if he had one of those long names the kings had: Matthew Martin Gahan-Gore!” Dave laughed, but Mart hushed him, cuz it seemed that Matt fell asleep.

“Boys, why not? I’d like it very much!” I smiled up at the proud dads – both of them still adored the newest member of our family. Dave put his thumb to the baby’s little hand and Mart did the same on the other side and our little one grabbed both fingers. They laughed out loud.

“He’s so strong!” Martin whispered amazed.

“Just like me!” Dave pushed out his chest proudly.

I’ve noticed that he didn’t say ‘just like his father’. I’m sure he didn’t want to hurt Martin, but it was clear that now Curly was too busy with the baby, who tried to focus with his eyes now that he wasn’t able to sleep, but of course he couldn’t see the guys clearly yet.

The results of the test assured me: little Matt was a Gahan descendant. The test showed this without a doubt.

After a few hours I was still tired and slow, but I left the hospital with our baby and the guys, so I could rest at home. Home? How strange it was to say it! The estate grew quickly to my heart, just like the boys did at the beginning, but to tell the truth it didn’t really matter where I was with him. My home was where they were. And it felt good to think of this, taste it and say it out loud… Finally I really belonged to somewhere. It was strange that fate wanted me to find my place on the side of two legendary and not trouble free musicians.

\---

As I was walking in the garden with the baby on my arm and the guys on my side, Mart suddenly nudged Dave “Sweetie, I wrote some lyrics. Don’t you want to do a new album?”

“Sounds great” Dave smiled “I couldn’t go on a tour with Hourglass because of you anyway” he gave a peck onto my face and he squeezed Mart’s hand. 

“You’ll show me the lyrics, won’t you?” I turned to Martin immediately – the DM fan was still inside of me “I’m very curious!”

“Sure. This time you’ll know them from first hand” he winked at me.

Matt fell asleep in my arms and I gave him to one of his dads, who put him down carefully onto the bed. We three – his parents – lay down around him. Martin swept some papers onto his lap from the nightstand and for a start he pushed one to our hands. We sank into reading. I started to cry and Dave squinted up from time to time at Martin with shining eyes, who was watching Matt and us musing and smiling. But in what a way! I saw him rarely like this. We switched papers with Dave and were reading again. Both of us knew which song was about whom and what.

“Martin, these are beautiful!” Dave leant to him and kissed into his neck “I’m suspecting that you love us, huh?”

“Me?” Mart stuttered “… yes, yes, I love you from the bottom of my heart and soul” but instead of giving a kiss onto Dave’s or my teary face, he kissed our son.

Leaning over the sleeping Matt I kissed Mart softly and caressed his face then I got out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. My tears were still falling as I searched for a hanky and sat down onto the edge of the tub. My emotions were swirling in me. I loved them beyond words and if it was possible, Martin touched my soul even more. If I was crying just from the lyrics, I didn’t know what I’d do when the songs were ready. By the time I pulled myself together and stepped out of the bathroom quietly, I saw that Martin carefully lay down next to Matt, protecting him with one hand around his tiny body and he was sleeping with his son too. Dave gave a kiss first onto the baby’s forehead then onto Mart’s then he looked at me.

We stood up and let Mart and little Matt sleep. We walked outside onto the terrace so Dave could smoke and for a while we were watching the English garden silently, which’s designer was Dave. With his free hand he was holding mine and we were sitting there quietly. Time seemed to stop. Everything seemed so peaceful – I couldn’t believe that all those things had happened which we lived through.

“So that’s why I came back” I noted quietly.

“What do you mean?” Dave asked, coming back from his thoughts.

“Because of Matt, Martin and you” I looked at him “This is why I came back from ‘there’” I squeezed his hand harder. He pulled me gently onto his lap and embraced me while giving me a kiss.

“I know, sweetie” Dave embraced me tighter “But now we take care of you and protect you.”

“I’m happy with you Dave, I love you all.”

“I know, I know.”

“I can’t believe that I’m a mother now! Because of you two… because of you… You know… somehow I felt all way long that you were the father… Remember that night, when the two of us were together in my bedroom?”

“Sure I remember that night. We were making love the whole night long!” he smiled sweetly.

“After one of our lovemakings… I felt something was different. I think that was when…”

“Possible. So you say you sensed it? And you knew all way long that the baby was mine?”

“I didn’t know, just felt it in my guts. David, I love you.”

“I love you too. And I love that little sleeping wonder next to that big jerk. The little man born from the two of us… Jeez, Mia, you don’t even know how happy you made me! It’s such a great feeling loving all of you freely, without limits! It’s a relief. A pure cure.”

“You can rest just until he wakes you up during the night with his crying!” I smiled at him and ran my fingers through his grizzled hair.

“I can’t sleep anyway! Mart’s the sleeping beauty! I’ll go to take care of Matt gladly, you know that!”

“Yes, I know. It’s so unbelievable that you, you two are my child’s fathers!”

“I must confess that this is something new for us too. We have never thought that we’d live with you in such a relationship, that you’d accept us this much… that you’d do anything for us. I’m very glad that I ran out of choc back then.”

“Why?” I jogged his shoulder a bit with my index finger.

“Cuz this way we’ve found you. Or I should say Andy did that! Jesus, we still have to thank to him for that!” he laughed.

“Well, he can come to visit the baby.”

“And he’ll come, I know. Come in, sweetie” he embraced me again “I don’t want you to catch a cold!”

We went back into the bedroom, but we let them sleep and I took Dave’s hand and made him sit onto the living room’s couch. I put ‘The Singles 86-98’ into the DVD-player and pressed play by ‘Useless’. I turned the lights off and whispered into his ear as I nuzzled to him:

“I fell in love with you during this video, my love…”

 

THE END

 

April 2007 – January 2008


End file.
